Fragments of Us

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Warnings: None for this chapter

Chapter 59 –

The first hint of sunlight peeked through the window blinds, casting a pinkish light into the room. Sirius blinked rapidly as the light fell across his face, awakening him from what had been a light sleep. Feeling warm breath against his neck, he looked down and saw Kate asleep against his shoulder, a faint flush on her cheeks and her auburn hair tousled against the stark white of the pillowslip. As Sirius continued to watch her, his thoughts turned to the night before and he smiled. Their lovemaking had always been passionate, deeply intimate, emotionally charged and more than mutually satisfying. Last night, though, all of that had risen to a new level. Everything they'd been through – all the confusion, misunderstandings, grief and anger – had been cast out. The lessons they had learned from those troubles had been stripped away and absorbed into their relationship, infusing it with greater strength, and bonding the two of them more tightly together. Last night had been unlike anything Sirius had ever experienced. The love he felt for Kate burned inside him and, looking in her eyes, he knew she felt the same. They touched each other with as much wonder as desire, as much tenderness as arousal and with more love than either had ever thought to feel. When they were joined, neither could look away from the other's eyes and when they released, together, it was blinding, pure and the most intense emotional and physical experience they had ever had. Sirius placed a small kiss on Kate's hair. They had stayed together for a very long time, legs and arms wrapped around one another; their gazes locked. There were no words and they had eventually fallen asleep, only to awaken a couple of hours later to make love to each other again – tenderly, sweetly, knowing that they had survived incredible battles – only to emerge stronger and more deeply committed.

Kate shifted in his arms and soon, Sirius was gazing into her eyes. "Good morning, love," he whispered, kissing her lips gently. She blinked a few more times then reached up and entwined her fingers in his hair, gently pulling him down for another, longer kiss. "Good morning, darling," she returned. "How long have you been awake?"

"Not long. I've been watching you; remembering last night," Sirius kissed her again.

Kate smiled, stroking his face. "Mmm. We didn't get much sleep, did we?"

"No; that we didn't." Sirius put his head down on the pillow next to hers and moved close enough that their noses were touching. "Tired?" He kissed the tip of her nose.

Kate shook her head. "Oddly, no. You?"

"Nope. Wide awake." Sirius kissed her shoulder. "I love you," his eyes were soft as he watched the play of emotions across her face.

"I love you, Sirius; I love you so very much," Kate replied, kissing him yet again.

They settled further down into the warmth of the bed, holding one another in silence for awhile longer, relishing the simple act of being alone, together.

"How long do you think we could stay here, just like this, before they sent out a search party?" Kate asked, stroking his hair.

Sirius chuckled. "Not long, love. And there wouldn't be a search party. They'd send in that little white-haired woman to roust us out. I don't know about you, but I think it might ruin my future performance."

Kate wriggled away from him at that and sat on the edge of the bed. "In that case, Mr. Black, I'm heading for the shower. I don't want to take any chances with your … performance!" Wrapping the sheet around her, she made a very slow trip across the room, trying valiantly not to trip over her make-shift toga. Kate had no more than made it into the bathroom when they heard a knock on the door. Kate quickly closed herself into the bathroom while Sirius called, "Just a moment," and struggled into a pair of sleep pants. Finally presentable, he cracked open the door to find Remus standing there.

"'morning, Padfoot," the werewolf smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

"I did, Mooney, thank you," Sirius returned, jovially, opening the door wider. "Now, what would bring you to my door at this horrid hour? Is it your turn to play chaperone? Because if it is…" he paused, waggled his eyebrows and leaned closer to his friend, "you're a bit late."

"I'll just file that under 'things I really didn't need to know', shall I?" Remus' affectionate smile drove home the tease. "Albus wants to come and have breakfast with us this morning." His eyes took in Sirius' apparel with a raised eyebrow. "You might want to put on some robes."

XXXXXXXX

A short while later, Kate, Sirius, Remus and Albus were seated around the kitchen table, eating the breakfast that Sirius had cooked for them. With Kate doing much better and Sirius staying with her, Molly felt she could afford to take a couple of days and attend to some affairs of her own back in London.

Once they had finished, Albus cleared his throat and began to speak. "As you know, Harry has been taking Occlumency lessons from Severus since the holiday break, but the lessons are not going as well as I might have hoped. There is a natural discord between the two which I am convinced is disallowing any type of progress to be made."

"What has Snape done?" Sirius asked, his voice clipped.

Albus frowned at the younger wizard. "Sirius, it is imperative that Harry hears the proper message – and heeds it. You need to put your personal feelings aside and focus on a positive delivery. You are his guardian, Sirius. You have frequently expressed your frustration with both me and your inability to protect Harry as you feel you should." He paused, fixing Sirius with a stern and focused gaze. "This is an opportunity for you to fulfill your responsibilities as Harry's Godfather. To keep your promise to James and Lily. To protect Harry."

Sirius met the Headmaster's gaze unflinchingly, but a muscle in his jaw twitched visibly. "When would this conversation take place?" he asked.

Dumbledore's posture relaxed slightly. "As soon as possible. Perhaps this afternoon?"

Sirius nodded once. "We'll meet here, I imagine?"

"Yes. I will apprise Harry of the circumstances surrounding your presence here." Albus glanced at Kate. "Both of you. In addition to your conversation about his Occlumency lessons, Sirius, I would like you to reiterate the need for complete secrecy regarding The Annex. I don't need to tell anyone in this room how critical it is that no one other than ourselves knows of its existence. Dolores Umbridge is curious enough about all activities – and controlling them – as it is.

Everyone around the table agreed.

"Regrettably, this will mean that Harry's visits here will be minimal, at best. He will be prohibited from knowing where we are and I alone will handle his transport." Albus paused. "My position here may be tenuous, given the Ministry's increasing hold on Hogwarts. My availability to bring Harry to you may be compromised. This will be difficult for the boy to accept. He may easily expect to have another party take my place; to have more free access to you than will be possible."

"Shouldn't there be a new Secret Keeper for The Annex, given what you've told us?" Sirius asked.

Dumbledore nodded. "There should, indeed," he confirmed. "And I've made provisions accordingly. However, they will not be made known until I am no longer able to act in that capacity. Now, I shall bring Harry to you after the lunch break. I believe he is free this afternoon."

"No Quidditch today?" Kate asked.

"Professor Umbridge has disbanded all student organizations," Dumbledore responded, quietly.

"Including Quidditch?" Sirius was incredulous. "What possible harm can a sport like Quidditch present to her?"

"None. It's a control issue, Padfoot," Remus interjected bitterly. "As per usual. Excuse me." The werewolf rose and walked into the Great Room.

"I'll go," Kate murmured to Sirius, who had begun to rise. "Stay and finish your discussion."

XXXXXXXX

Kate found Remus in front of the hearth, hands obviously clenched in his pockets, back rigid. She approached him cautiously and placed a gentle hand on his back. "I'm so sorry, Remus. I know how miserable your life is because of this awful woman."

Remus turned and his face reflected his emotions. "It doesn't just impact me, Katie," he said miserably. "Do you now understand why I can't have a relationship with Dora?"

Kate stepped up and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. "Every time that woman infiltrates and takes control of another aspect of our lives, I remember anew the restrictions already placed on mine." Remus continued quietly, his voice rumbling beneath Kate's ear, where it rested against his chest.

"You're a good man, Remus," she replied. "You're honest, intelligent and a true gentleman. One night each month, a curse you suffer outwardly manifests itself. You take a potion that manages your condition; one that gives you control. There's no reason why you cannot be with the woman you love – and who loves you."

Remus leaned back so he could see her face. He smiled sadly, although his eyes were overly bright. "And support her how?"

Kate hugged him tightly again before stepping away. "You must know that Tonks doesn't care about that, Remus. You must know how much she loves you."

Remus swallowed hard before answering. "I do," he said hoarsely. "But I've tried so hard to discourage her."

Kate smiled. "How's that working out?"

Remus looked away from her.

"I thought so," Kate said, softly. "Remus, my dearest friend, she doesn't care."

"But I do," he replied sadly.

"Remus, I cannot tell you how to live your life, but consider this: that which you miss the most – love – is standing there waiting for you. She knows everything about you and yet, she doesn't care. She loves you. Your value, in her eyes, exceeds material things. She. Loves. You." Kate said firmly. "Take your happiness. Live your life."

Remus looked at her imploringly. "And how long would it be before she began to resent me, Kate? How long before she realized that she was saddled with someone who couldn't care for her the way another wizard could? A wizard who was employable. Completely human. No. It's better this way. If I can keep her as my friend, I'll be happy."

Kate sighed, exasperated. "And what of Tonks, Remus? Will she be happy?"

Remus shook his head. "Perhaps not right away, but eventually, I have to believe that she will be. And, most importantly, she'll be safe. And she will find someone who can take proper care of her; someone who won't compromise her career with the Ministry or cause her embarrassment."

Kate folded her arms across her chest. "Remus, do you remember the conversation we had in the kitchen at Grimmauld the night I first arrived back in London?" At his nod, she continued. "We talked about Dolores Umbridge and all she tried to do in America; all she failed to do. We talked about the need to fight her and all those like her to make sure they didn't take an irreversible hold on our way of life. You can't do that, Remus, if you give up. That's what you're doing, you know…you're giving up. That's not like you."

Remus' expression was firm. "I'm not giving up, Kate. I'm protecting Tonks in the only way I know how."

"Remus, Sirius and I just learned a very valuable, if painful lesson about protecting those we love. When we make assumptions about their safety and how they feel about the steps we take to ensure it, things often go down hill very quickly. Please keep that in mind as you pursue your protection plan for Tonks, won't you?" Kate put her hand on his arm. "I care for you very much, Remus and I'm quite fond of Tonks, as well. Personally, I think she's perfect for you – as you are for her. She's a strong woman, Remus; I think you're selling her quite short. I believe she can handle the wolf – and the stubborn wizard he inhabits – very well, indeed."

Remus managed to muster a small smile at these words. "While I will allow that it's possible, I cannot allow that thought to dictate my actions. No potion is foolproof and, as such, I cannot guarantee her safety. Unless that should ever change, I cannot allow myself the luxury of her."

"I don't agree with you but it seems that I'm not going to change your mind," Kate said.

"Kate, it's not that I don't appreciate what you're trying to do. I know that you care about me. This goes beyond all of that, though," Remus looked at her imploringly. "Please, just let it go."

Kate hugged him again. "I will; for now."

"Kate?" Sirius' voice was hesitant. "I hate to interrupt, but…"

It was Remus who answered. "It's fine, Padfoot. We just finished our conversation. What is it?"

"Dobby just brought Dumbledore a message from Kingsley. Katie-girl, Malfoy's trial has been scheduled to begin the day after tomorrow," Sirius told her, watching her reaction carefully. "Kingsley would like to meet with us this evening to discuss our strategy for your testimony."

Kate drew a deep breath. In theory, the removal of her memories of Sirius – however temporary – was an acceptable means to an end: convicting Lucius Malfoy. Hearing the plan verbalized and knowing that its implementation was so close, however, was more daunting. "Where shall we meet him?"

"Here, I believe," Sirius said. "It will be more practical."

Kate nodded. "Will you be here?"

Sirius crossed the room and took Kate in his arms. "Yes, my love. I will be with you as long as I am allowed to be. And I will be waiting for you here when you return. It will be fine."

Kate leaned back to look at him. "Of course it will," she agreed, smiling. But to be stripped of all recent memories of Sirius seemed, at the moment, anything but fine.

XXXXXX

After lunch, Albus Floo'd The Annex, announcing that he was coming through with Harry. Sirius and Kate had been sitting together on the couch, reading, and stood to wait for the two to arrive. Presently, Albus stepped from the green flames with Harry firmly in his grasp. Sirius stepped forward and placed his hands on Harry's shoulders as Albus stepped behind the boy and removed the blindfold that covered his eyes.

Harry blinked rapidly several times then smiled as his Godfather's face lost its blurred appearance. The two embraced warmly, standing together for several moments before Sirius stepped backward to look at him more closely. "Alright there, Harry?" he asked.

Harry nodded. "Where's Kate?" he asked. Clearly, Albus had told him the agreed-upon version of the story of Kate's attack: "random" Death Eaters. Absolutely no names. Kate and Sirius shared a brief glance then Sirius gently turned Harry around to face her.

Harry's eyes got suspiciously bright as he looked at his Godmother. Kate smiled and opened her arms and the young wizard closed the distance between them quickly, stepping into her arms. She was momentarily startled by the strength and ferociousness of his embrace and hugged him tightly to her. "Ok?" she murmured, resting her cheek against the top of his head. Kate felt him nod against her shoulder. "I'm fine, you know," she reassured him. "No permanent damage done."

Harry relaxed his hold round her waist and stepped back to look at her. When he'd finished his scrutiny, he reached his fingers beneath his glasses and rubbed his eyes roughly. "Professor Dumbledore told me that you'd been hurt fairly badly," he said quietly. "I was worried."

Kate shook her head and patted his cheek. "No need, darling. I'm really fine now. As you can plainly see, right?"

Harry nodded, finally smiling at her. "I'm glad, Kate," he said, stepping forward and kissing her cheek. "Really. Glad."

Kate hugged him tightly again, exchanging a tender look with Sirius before releasing the boy and gesturing toward the sofa. "Let's sit down and talk, yes?"

Harry nodded and took a seat next to Kate while Sirius, with a small smile, turned around both wing back chairs until they faced the sofa; he and the Headmaster seated themselves.

"Harry, I'm only going to stay for a moment, and then I'll leave you to visit with Kate and Sirius for awhile. When I return, however, you'll need to come back with me," Albus began. It was obvious from Harry's brief nod and the expression on his face that he had already been told that his time with his Godparents was limited – and that he was none too happy about it.

"I know it's difficult, son," Albus continued. "But it is for Sirius' safety – and our own – that our travel arrangements remain as I've explained them."

Harry's face softened a bit at those words. "Can I come back sometime?" he wanted to know.

"Let's talk about that later, yeah?" Sirius responded. "I need to speak with you about something else first." He glanced sideways at his former Headmaster, thinking how ironic it was that he, Sirius Black, infamous Marauder, escaped convict of Azkaban, was being left to admonish a young wizard about disobedience of rules.

Albus rose and glanced down at Sirius with his customary twinkle. It was almost as if the man had divined his thoughts. "Listen well to your Godfather, Harry. I will be back later." With that, Albus walked to the hearth, tossed a pinch of Floo powder into the flames and, with a blaze of green light, disappeared.

"Why do you want to talk to me, Sirius?" Harry took the direct approach, Sirius noted. So very like James.

"First of all, Harry, I want you to know that the irony of me being the person to have this conversation with you is not lost on me," Sirius began, smiling wryly.

"I already know about girls," Harry grinned cheekily, earning a chuckle from Sirius.

"I'm sure you do," Sirius responded. "But this particular conversation has nothing whatsoever to do with the opposite sex. Sex of any kind, really. Thankfully, I'd say."

"Sirius," Kate admonished, the stern tone of her voice totally cancelled out by her attempts to hide a smile.

"What? I'm just clarifying the topic," Sirius gave her what he thought was his most convincing look of innocence. He knew immediately that Kate was not fooled; she'd seen it before.

Kate rose, then leaned down and kissed Harry on top of his head. "I'll let you two get on with it in private," she said. "I'll catch up on some reading. Sirius, please come and get me when you're finished so I can say goodbye, yes?"

Harry reached for Kate's hand. "You don't really have to leave, you know. We don't mind if you stay."

Kate glanced at Sirius then sat down again. "Harry, what's wrong? You're not really in trouble, you know."

Sirius nodded vigorously. "Really, Harry, can you picture me in the role of disciplinarian? Me?"

Harry shook his head, smiling sadly. "No, Sirius, it's not that, really. It's just that Dumbledore said I won't be able to come here very often and I don't know when I'll see the two of you again. If you don't mind, I'd just as soon have Kate stay."

Sirius smiled. "I don't mind one bit, Harry. Katie-girl, make yourself comfortable."

After a moment of thought, Sirius began. "Harry, I know that your Occlumency lessons with Sn – with Professor Snape have not gone at all well. According to what the Headmaster told me earlier today, they have all but broken down completely. Harry…"

"Sirius, you don't understand!" the young wizard spoke up, his voice rising, looking his Godfather directly in the eye. "Snape's horrid! He keeps us down in that dungeon for hours. He never gives me a chance to recover before he pushes back into my mind again. He dredges up my most personal thoughts and memories. He makes fun of them, of the people I love. He…"

"He's trying to teach you to close your mind against intrusion, Harry. Voldemort will do far worse than dredge up memories and laugh at them," Sirius interrupted, hating the incredulous look on Harry's face at his words and pushing onward. "You must do as Snape tells you, Harry. It's vital that you resume these lessons and that you do everything you can to learn what only he can teach you."

Harry shook his head. "It doesn't matter anyway. Snape's refused to teach me anymore. He said that the lessons were over."

Sirius leaned forward. "Harry, Dumbledore told me about that this morning. He is speaking with Snape – probably is doing so right now. Your lessons will resume and you must apply yourself to them. Harry, this isn't a game. You must be able to block Voldemort from taking possession of your mind. If he does so, he can destroy you."

"I thought you'd understand. You, of all people. I thought you would be on my side," Harry fumed, rising to his feet.

Sirius quickly wiped the panic from his expression and the angry teenager did not see; Kate, however, noticed and knew that this exchange between Sirius and Harry was causing Sirius considerable pain. The one thing he feared was the loss of Harry's love and respect. Harry's anger, directed at him, was much the same thing to the older man.

"Harry, I do understand and I am on your side. Completely. I don't like Snape any more than you do, but he can teach you what you need to master to ensure that you remain safe. Harry, don't you understand? If he can do that for you, I'd happily shake the man's hand and call him wonderful. It's all for you," Sirius' face implored the younger wizard to see reason.

Harry sat back down heavily on the couch. After some time, he looked up at Sirius and shook his head. "I hate this, Sirius," he said.

"I know."

"It's so hard to completely clear my mind every night."

"I know."

"It's hard to have Snape tramping around in my memories."

"Then learn to keep him – and everyone else out of them," Sirius said, his voice gentle but firm.

Harry thought for awhile then nodded. "I'll try, Sirius. I promise that if Dumbledore can get him to agree to teach me again, I will try to learn."

Sirius rose and went to kneel before his Godson. Taking his hands, Sirius smiled up at the boy. "That's all anyone can ask of you, Harry. I'm proud of you for giving your promise. I'm proud of you for trying. You must stay safe, Harry. You must."

"I know, Sirius, really I do. I'll keep my promise."

"I know you will, Harry. I know you will," Sirius said, rising. "There's one more thing we need to discuss. This place."

"I know – Sirius, I know you can't tell me, but how are you here and not at Grimmauld Place?" Harry asked.

"You're right, I can't tell you exactly where we are, but it has magical properties very like Headquarters. It cannot be seen by anyone other than those who know of its existence," Sirius explained.

"So., Dumbledore's the Secret Keeper for this place, too?"

"Smart, Harry. Got it in one," Kate chimed in. "Yes, he is. And he would be required to bring you here; no one else could do it. And we cannot talk about it. No one can know it exists."

"Dumbledore told me. Kate, Sirius, I don't think I'll be able to visit you very often," Harry said.

"Perhaps not right now," Sirius said. "But Harry, soon. I promise you. When all this is over, we will be a family. You'll see. We'll be together. All of us."

Harry nodded. "I know we will, Sirius. It just seems so far away sometimes."

"We'll get there," Sirius promised him.