Fragments of Us
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Warnings: None for this chapter
Chapter 64 – Clarification of Mysteries
The following evening saw the usual occupants of Grimmauld – plus members of the Order most closely involved with the Hogsmeade battle & its aftermath - seated around the kitchen table, enjoying dinner before the meeting began. To avoid creating suspicion at school, Dumbledore had declined joining them for dinner, choosing instead to remain at Hogwarts for the evening meal and Apparating from Hogsmeade afterward.
Kingsley, Tonks, Remus, Bill Weasley and his parents, Kate and Sirius were just finishing dinner when they heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs.
"Evening, Severus," Kingsley greeted the Potions Master as he entered the kitchen.
Snape inclined his head in the direction of the Auror. "Shacklebolt," he replied. Snape glanced around the rest of the table before walking toward his customary chair located in a shadowy corner removed from the immediate seating area.
Tonks shook her head. "Severus," she said. "Come join us. There's no need for you to sit way over there."
Everyone looked from Tonks to the dour professor and, to their amazement, he did as she bade him to do, taking the vacant chair on Kate's other side. Privately, Kate thought it did the man good to have Sirius outside his direct line of vision. Merlin knew it didn't hurt Sirius, either.
"Would you like tea?" Kate asked Severus after he was seated, but he declined with a shake of his head. "I'm fine, thank you." He paused for a moment. "I wonder if I might speak with you and Black privately before Albus arrives." Seeing her hesitation, he reassured her. "Kate, Albus suggested I meet with you before the meeting began."'
Kate's eyebrows drew together in concern, but she nodded. "Let's go out to the porch," she said quietly. "It's just down the corridor there." As Snape rose and moved toward the doorway she had indicated, Kate leaned over and whispered in Sirius' ear. "Severus would like to speak with us prior to the meeting." She rose, taking Sirius' hand and walked quietly but swiftly to the doorway through which Snape had so recently exited.
They arrived on the porch to find Severus waiting for them just inside the door. Sirius brushed past him and moved to the hearth where, with a wave of his hand, he conjured a fire to take the chill off the room. He gestured to the sofa and chairs situated before the hearth. "Sit down," Sirius said to the others before taking a seat on the sofa. Kate settled herself beside him and together they waited for Snape to sit down and say whatever it was that Albus wanted shared with Sirius away from the other Order members.
"I assume this has to do with your testing of Spear's blood sample and the magical imprint of the syringe, yes?" Kate ventured when Severus did not immediately speak.
Snape nodded. "What I am about to tell you requires me to disclose significant detail regarding certain activities in which I'm involved – rather covert activities on behalf of the Order and executed at Dumbledore's direction. It is only due to his insistence that I have agreed to do so."
Sirius tensed and drew a sharp breath as if to speak, but Kate grasped his hand to head him off. "Severus, we appreciate that you cannot disclose the entirety of your work, nor would we ask you to do so," she said quietly. "I am grateful for whatever you can tell us and, of course, it will not be repeated outside this room."
Snape's glance fell on Sirius where it lingered for a moment. He then nodded curtly and began. "Due to the nature of my…role, I am privy to certain information that would be unavailable to most. My access to certain individuals is virtually unrestricted. It is due to that status that I have information which Dumbledore feels is critical to share with you both."
Sirius had begun fidgeting during Snape's last comments. "We're all impressed with your status in the Death Eater Club, Snape. Can't you just get on with it?"
Surprisingly, Snape didn't react in his typical, waspish fashion. Instead, he continued. "I have analyzed the sample of Spear's blood provided to me by Ms. Tonks. The Acromantula venom removed from that sample matches the traces of the venom found in Jarvis' vial."
Sirius nodded. "So, rather unsurprisingly, the venom for both potions came from the same beast," he commented.
"So it would appear," Snape confirmed. "Which means that the creator of the potion has both magical creature expertise as well as some skill in Potions. I have also analyzed the magical footprint of the syringe, itself, to assist in helping to identify the person who might have used it to kill Spear." Snape then looked over at Sirius and Kate felt him tense, his hand gripping hers more tightly.
"And?" Sirius gritted out.
"And, I found the predictable imprint of Dawlish, who was the Auror who first responded to the call. I also found traces of Shacklebolt's magic, although less tangible than Dawlish, which indicates he knew a bit more about evidence handling than his underling," Snape said, disdainfully. "But there was also another imprint – a bit more complex to identify."
"But you have made the identification," Kate interjected, squeezing Sirius' hand hard in an attempt to get him to release some of the crushing pressure on her fingers.
Snape nodded. "I believe I have. Bear in mind, however, that this only identifies who held the syringe; not at whose orders that murder was carried out," he cautioned.
"But, clearly, Severus, now that you know who performed the action, it should be simple enough to detain and interrogate whomever it is; that will lead us to the person who gave the order, shouldn't it?" Kate reasoned.
Sirius locked eyes with Snape. "Not necessarily, I suspect," he said quietly. "Or we wouldn't be speaking privately." He paused. "Give over, Snape. No more stalling. Who handled the syringe that killed Jarvis? "
Snape's eyes narrowed. "Peter Pettigrew."
Kate's eyes widened, but Sirius' expression did not immediately change. It took a moment, but when Sirius detonated, it was with his customary intensity. Sirius shook off the hand Kate had placed on his arm and rose abruptly, pacing in front of the fireplace. "That bastard!" he spat. "Isn't it bloody ironic that he actually makes it inside a cell in Azkaban, but it isn't his own?" The pacing continued and, although Sirius said nothing further, his pain was clearly etched on his face.
Snape looked from Sirius' pacing form to Kate, raising his eyebrows. "There's more," he murmured. "He needs to hear all of it."
"Sirius, come sit down. Severus isn't finished," Kate said. When the Animagus didn't respond, she added, "Please." While Sirius did not return to his seat, he did move closer to where the others were sitting and, with his hands shoved into his pockets, he awaited the rest of Severus' news.
"As you both know, Pettigrew has returned to the Dark Lord's service, but his position within the ranks of Death Eaters is not…favored," Snape continued. "Despite his contribution to bringing the Dark Lord back to a corporeal form, he largely remains a lackey who does as he is bid. He is seen as a servant; one who executes the wishes of those in the inner circle. That has led to resentment on his part and he continually seeks ways to improve his status. Pettigrew's opinion is never sought on matters of any consequence. Every now and again, however, Pettigrew displays some insight and, when given the chance to speak, will make a suggestion or observation that actually makes sense."
Sirius snorted bitterly. "Completely by accident, I can assure you. That rat is hardly a genius."
"While that may indeed be true," Snape said, impatiently. "'That rat' was bright enough to hide his true loyalties from his friends in a manner convincing enough to lead to their ruin. You are a bigger fool than even I imagined if you continue to dismiss Pettigrew so easily, Black!"
Sirius' temper was short and his frustration level with both wizard and situation running quite high. Kate heard the low growl begin at the base of his throat and saw his hands clench into fists in the pockets of his robes. "I am well aware of that bastard's history. I've certainly paid the price for it, haven't I?" he spat.
"And you will pay it again – or perhaps an even greater one – if you do not control your emotions where Pettigrew is concerned," Snape shot back. "Think about what has happened here, Black. Think about how it could have come about, what it could mean and what it could provide the Order by way of opportunity. You're always whining like a child over what you cannot do; well, here's a chance for you to make a contribution, but you must put logic and reason before emotion. If you cannot do that, you will remain a bystander forever."
Sirius' gaze was fixed on the Potions Master and his expression was filled with anger, bitterness and contempt. "I do not need you, Snape, to tell me how to behave or where my contribution lies. When the time comes, I will fight with the Order. I will protect Harry. I will keep my promises to James and Lily. I will…"
"…die in the attempt," Snape interjected, bringing Sirius' tirade to a halt. "You do not seem to understand that you cannot fight 'with the Order", as you define it; to do so will only endanger Potter – not protect him! For whatever ill-advised reason that child possesses, he looks to you as a father. Knowing that you are safe allows him to retain a fragile hold on his own focus and concentration. If you were to do something reckless and headstrong with the boy in this war – as you did with his parents in the last one, you will not only endanger him, but our entire world, as well." He stopped, breathing heavily and giving Sirius a disgusted look. "Potter is the instrument by which the Dark Lord will be vanquished. Remove the instrument and he will flourish; I know this to be true. Get hold of yourself, Black. There are things you know of Azkaban that we do not, as there are things I know of Pettigrew that you do not. You can either continue to wallow in your own self-pity and misguided plans of battle glory or you can grow up and accept the role that you can play in this War – and help Potter in the bargain."
Kate glanced at Sirius. His normally pale complexion was even more so and his eyes glittered with a mixture of anger and self-recrimination. His hands clenched and unclenched in his pockets and he trembled with the effort it took for him to keep himself silent.
"That's enough," Kate said quietly to both men. "More than enough, actually. Severus, I appreciate the position that you're in and the potential cost in revealing yourself as much as you have done this evening. I agree that there is still a great deal to discuss and plan; I do not agree that it serves any purpose to bring up the past – especially those events that caused so much pain to so many. Sirius, you cannot continue to think that your role with the Order will be a traditional one or that you will be given assignments and responsibilities as you were in the first War, because it cannot be so. While Severus' comments were, in part, unnecessarily cruel, he made several valid points, particularly about keeping Harry safe. You do need to begin to think in untraditional terms about how you can protect him, Sirius. You have a very unique role with Harry and there are ways that only you can protect him. Above all, the two of you need to find a way to work together in this. We can't fight each other if we're to be successful in fighting against the Dark Lord, as well." Her voice was quiet, but steely and when she finished speaking, the room was silent and the tension was almost overwhelming. Suddenly, there was a shimmer around Sirius and in a moment, a large black dog stood where the wizard had been. With a growl, the Animagus turned sharply and ran from the room.
Severus gasped before he could stop himself.
"Surely, you knew," Kate said, turning her attention from the doorway to Snape.
The Potions Master took a breath. "It had been alluded to, but I had not been directly told," he stated. "I should have surmised it long ago." Snape turned to her. "'Wormtail'", he said derisively. "He would never have managed an Animagus transformation on his own. It was a skill he had prior to taking the Dark Mark; I should have known his friends had something to do with it. Black's a dog – how fitting," he said. His expression changed, and Kate watched as he seemed to come to a sort of revelation. "Potter – he was…was he a stag?"
Kate nodded. "Hence, the nickname, 'Prongs"," she confirmed. "Harry's Patronus is a stag, as well."
Snape nodded. "Indeed. I have seen Potter's Patronus; this certainly explains the form it takes."
"Severus, as your role with the Order and … elsewhere requires strict confidentiality, I must ask for the same consideration for Sirius' Animagus status. It is not widely known – in fact, there are some Order members who are not aware of his ability. We have always been concerned that Pettigrew would tell the Dark Lord about Padfoot. Do you know if…" Kate trailed off.
"I can assure you that Pettigrew has not divulged that particular detail. It would have been of great interest to certain parties within the ranks – not just to the Dark Lord," Severus replied. He stopped and glanced over to the doorway through which Padfoot had run. Turning back to Kate, he continued. "Kate, Black cannot continue to do this. He must bring his temper under control. Tonight, at the meeting, this information will be given to the rest of the Order. We will discuss our theory of how Pettigrew became involved in this matter and what his role might have been in Spear's murder. Black must be present and able to participate in that discussion. He is the only one of us who is intimate with the schedules of guards and other routines within Azkaban. That will be invaluable to us if we are to attempt to officially tie Pettigrew to Spear's murder – through whatever route brought him to it."
Kate reached over and laid her hand on his arm. "You really believe we can do that, Severus? We can truly tie Pettigrew to Spear's death – publicly?"
Snape nodded once. "It's possible," he said slowly. "Kate, caution is required here. We can ill afford to promise what we may not ultimately be able to deliver. Pettigrew is weak and, if captured, would use whatever inside information he has to potentially bargain himself into a better sentence. We must make certain that we take full advantage of whatever that information brings to us. And, as much as it pains me to say so, we need Black on board for the planning. Can you deliver him?"
She nodded. "I'll go speak with him. Can you explain the situation to Albus; buy us some time?"
"A minimal amount, Kate. I realize you have a monumental task before you, but Albus and I should not be away from the school for a long time," he reminded.
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Kate paused at the doorway of the library when she saw the blazing hearth within. Despite all the healing Sirius had experienced over the past year, he was still not quite able to shed the constant chill that had settled into his bones while imprisoned. Whenever one encountered a blazing hearth, Sirius could generally be found settled in front of it. Entering as quietly as possible, her search ended when she found Sirius seated at one end of the sofa in front of the fire.
"You're going to miss the meeting," Kate said quietly as she approached him.
Sirius looked over his shoulder at her, then returned his gaze to the photo album he held in his hands.
"Sirius?"
"Go on without me, Kate. You heard Snape; I'm destined to be a bystander. Well, that or repeat all my past sins."
"For the love of Merlin," Kate muttered then walked around the sofa and sat down next to him. "So your answer is to sit here looking through old photographs?"
Sirius' focus was on a photo that was taken just before the Fidelius was cast. James and Sirius were in the Potters' kitchen in Godric's Hollow; they were talking and their expressions showed the strain of the times. James leaned against the sink, while Sirius had hoisted himself up on the counter to James' left. Each held a bottle of butterbeer in hand and, from Sirius' face, one could easily tell that whatever point he was making was critical to him. His eyes held a look of almost desperate pleading and, as Kate looked, James' expression changed from one of obstinent refusal to sadness then ultimately, to acceptance. "Who took this?" Kate asked him when he remained silent.
"Lily," came the answer, Sirius' voice hoarse. "She had taken a couple of pictures of Harry and still had the camera when she came in to get him some juice. James and I had finished our discussion and she just snapped the photo." Sirius turned to look at Kate. "I had just convinced him to make Pettigrew the Secret Keeper."
Kate reached over and took his hand. "Sirius, I understand that what Severus said to you brought back a lot of very painful memories. But the past isn't something we can change. It happened; it's history. The only thing we can try to do is make sure it doesn't repeat itself. Pettigrew has shown himself. He's allowed his ego and desire for position to override any glimmer of good judgment he might have had. In his effort to enhance his importance to Voldemort, Peter has exposed himself to those working against him. This is not an opportunity that comes along often; Sirius, this is the first time we've had him in our sights since that night in the Shrieking Shack. Who knows when the next chance will come? Are you going to wallow in self-pity and let him slip through our fingers again or are you going to pull it together and work with us to capture him and free you once and for all?"
Sirius remained silent, his gaze back on the photo of his long-dead mate.
Kate rose. "Alright, Sirius; I've said everything I can think of to say to you and it obviously isn't doing any good whatsoever. I'm sure Albus is here by now and Severus can't delay the meeting forever. I'm going downstairs and I'm going to work with Severus and Albus and everyone else who recognizes this chance for what it is. I'm going to see what I can contribute to help protect Harry. Join us. Stay up here and wallow; it's your choice."
Kate crossed the room slowly, willing Sirius to snap out of it and say something – anything to her, but the silence was absolute. As she reached the doorway, Kate turned. "You know, Sirius, we all made mistakes back then – myself included. There are things I did then that I wish I could go back and do differently. Now that we're in the midst of another War with the same Dark forces we met before, I find myself thinking of those mistakes more and more. Am I afraid that I will put a foot wrong this time? Of course. But what I won't do, Sirius, is let that fear stop me from doing everything I can to protect Harry in any way that I can protect him. I thought you felt the same way. Apparently, I was mistaken." With that, Kate left the library, closing the door softly behind her.
Once in the hallway, Kate paused to collect herself. She knew she had done everything in her power to reach Sirius; the rest was clearly up to him. After a few moments, Kate felt sufficiently composed to make her way downstairs and join the meeting. Whether or not Sirius took anything she had said to heart and decided to join them would remain to be seen.
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The meeting had not yet begun when Kate entered the kitchen and as she looked around the room, her eyes met the glittering black gaze of the Potions Master. He arched one eyebrow inquiringly; Kate shook her head and lifted her shoulders. Her response was enough to draw him across the room to her and Kate sighed inwardly.
"Severus, please," Kate held up one hand before he could speak. "I know what you're about to say and believe me, I tried. I've pulled out every avenue of persuasion I can think of to compel him to get over the guilt and anger and join the meeting. I don't know what else I can do at this point," she finished.
Snape frowned. "He's no different today than he was in school. Emotion over logic; personal affront over the bigger picture."
"That's unfair, Severus," Kate protested. "And not entirely true. Sirius' behavior is the result of an abusive childhood and twelve years with the Dementors for company only enhanced those memories. He's also intensely loyal and protective of those whom he loves. Sirius has positive qualities as well as not so positive; Severus, you of all people should appreciate the truth in that statement."
Severus searched her face. "Yet, I am taking a proactive role in this fight, Kate. I am not hiding in my mother's house – or a hospital facility in Scotland – whilst waiting for an opportunity to flout the rules and take action on my own terms. Consider that while you extol the virtues of Sirius Black." With that, Snape spun around and walked swiftly back to his usual chair in the shadowy corner near the table.
Kate watched him walk away with some degree of sadness at her comment to him. She recognized how difficult his life must be as she had surmised from their earlier conversation that Severus served two masters – neither of whom was himself. She turned to take her own seat at the table, seeing that the others were drifting in that direction in response to Albus' call to order.
Remus sat to her left, leaning toward her and nodding his head at the vacant chair on Kate's other side. "Where is he?" he whispered.
"Library," Kate replied. "He's having a bit of a problem coming to terms with what Severus had to say to us earlier this evening. I've tried, but Merlin only knows if he'll be down to join us."
Remus' eyebrows rose. "Now I'm even more anxious to hear what Albus has to say," he said.
The room grew quiet as Albus rose and everyone turned their attention to the head of the table, where he stood waiting to speak. "My friends," he began. "Recent events involving Ms. Morgan, Lucius Malfoy and others have led us to a critical point in our efforts to defeat Voldemort. We have incontrovertible proof that Peter Pettigrew has been connected to yet another murder and our purpose here tonight is to discuss this situation, share our knowledge of those involved and come to consensus as to how we take this opportunity and turn it to our advantage." He paused to allow those assembled to digest his comments. Albus' gaze swept over the table and as he took a breath to resume speaking, he stopped, his eyes focused on something near the doorway.
"I apologize for being late, Albus," Sirius said quietly. "Please continue." Without another word, Sirius walked quickly to the table and sat down in the chair next to Kate's. He acknowledged no one else, giving his attention exclusively to the Headmaster who, after an understanding smile, took his own seat and began to share the circumstances surrounding the apparent reappearance of Peter Pettigrew.