Title: The List

Author: GEM

Date: 10-5-14

Pairing: Fitz/Mellie, Olivia/Fitz

Rating: T

Summary: Their marriage is a now a business arrangement. Their marriage is just for show. There was a list of things that they didn't do. There is a list of things that they don't talk about. Mellitz, Olitz

Disclaimer: Scandal is Property of Shonda Rimes and ABC et al.

A/N: A little Season 4 Speculation. Please let me know what you think.

Chapter 4

The Oval Office had become his prison. He was alone in the crown jewel of the American prison system. He was truly alone. Mellie has completely shut out the outside world. She won't speak. She won't eat. She like he is barely existing. Jerry was gone. Dead. Fitz was existing. He was function but today, tonight it was more difficult than he expected. Today he was sworn in again, without his son by his side. Today, he took the Oath of Office without Olivia by his side because she felt responsible for his son's death.

Fitz walked around the Presidential Seal with a drink in his hand. He polished it off and poured another, then another. The scotch numbed the pain but didn't erase it. Mellie hardly made it through the day. They only attended two balls citing personal reasons. No one questioned them after all, who would want to celebrate anything so soon after losing their son.

Fitz walked out of the Oval office with the tumbler still in his hand and made his way to the residence. He entered his study and poured himself another drink. He made quick work of that drink and poured another, and another. He stumbled toward the bathroom a while later and stared at himself in the mirror. He was drunk. He knew that and it felt good. He couldn't take anymore of this today. He wanted to give up. He stared at the pill bottles in front of him. One in Mellie's name and one in his. The pills made to his hand and then...

The tears began to fall. He was so numb he didn't even notice. He collapsed to the floor in a fit of sorrow. Jerry was gone. Dead. Olivia was gone. Missing. He couldn't be a soccer dad in Vermont. If he couldn't have that with Jerry, Karen, Teddy and her, what was the point? He threw the glass against the bathroom wall. He took a shard of glass and it seemed so easy. The alchol and pills would do it wouldn't they? Olivia was gone, wasn't she? She wouldn't come back for him, would she?" He could be with Jerry. He could end this. He could be with Jerry again. It would be so easy. He began to slip away and then he saw her.

"Olivia." Fitz reached for her and Olivia brushed her hand against his face.

"You can't leave her Fitz." I wouldn't want you, if you left her." Olivia smiled as he looked into his eyes. "You need to try. You need to stay for your kids. What are you doing? This won't solve anything. Fitz, Stay. You need to stay!"

"Olivia I need you. Where are you?" Fitz could feel tears coming to his eyes. Was he dreaming or was she really here. "You gave up." Fitz shot back as he felt her starting to slip away.

"I'm fixing myself. I'm the scandal." Olivia said as she started to let go of his hand.

"You're not a scandal. You're the love of my life." Fitz rushed after and grabbed her.

"I love you too but I can't be with you right now. Olivia put a hand on his chest and pushed away gently You are meant to be great. You need to be great. You got your second chance. You need to stay. Mellie, Teddy and Karen need you."

"I don't want a second chance. I want you back. I want my son back. That's the second chance I want Livvie. " Olivia walked farther into the haze. He could barely see her but he could still here her.

"Olivia. Liv... Olivia...Livvie." Fitz mumbled on the floor. Where's Olivia."

Mellie knelt down on the bathroom floor and put towels over the cuts on his wrist. Even in her grief stricken haze there was no mistaken what he attempted to do.

"I want Olivia."

"Fitz! What did you do?"

The Secret Service Agents came running. Mellie stood up and looked at the counter. The pill bottle was open. Find Lesley!"

"I'll call his doctor." Tom said as he took in the scene

"No." Mellie demanded "Find his Deputy Chief of Staff. Hurry!"

"Olivia!" I'm sorry." Fitz whispered before he passed out.

OOO

He woke up to find Mellie staring down at him. "What happened?"

"You tell me. I don't even know how to put our night into words."

"I had a bad night. "

"A bad night. Is that what you want to call it?" Mellie stood up and stared out the window. "Okay."

"We won't talk about this agian."

"We won't talk about it again." Mellie said before she walked out.