4 - Not My Home
"Make yourself at home, Edward Cullen.", she teased, smirking as he forced his legs to step inside, crossing his arms and steeling his eyes with ice hatred as she closed the door behind him.
"You are going to be a barrel of laughs for these next 20 years, aren't you, love?", she shook her mane of red curls, licking her lips and walking towards the bathroom. She needed a nice cold bath.
"I am not your love.", Edward sneered with venom, "I'm not your anything."
"Oh yes you are.", she squinted, moving a little closer to him, her eyes holding his in their lethal grip, "You are my little pet! A cheap replacement, a weak imitation. That's all you'll ever be."
"Well if I'm so weak, then why'd you do this?", Edward almost shouted, "You don't want me any more than I want you! Why'd you fight so hard to take me away from my life?"
She smiled, amused by his anger. "Because I can. And because I want you to pay for what you did to James, you and that girl. This way, you both lose…and I win. Satisfaction, at least, is mine. Along with you."
"I don't want to be here.", Edward stated again, angry but calm, "I'm not staying."
"You're not a prisoner.", Victoria smirked, "Leave. Then they will give me Bella instead. And I will have lots and lots of fun with her."
"Bitch.", he muttered, hating her, hating that he could do nothing to escape this.
She laughed, the sound making his skin crawl. "I think I'll have a nice leather collar made for you with that one word on it. It's a yummy little picture, Edward."
"What do you expect me to do here?", Edward looked around, finding nothing endearing about this place at all. No books, no art on the walls, nothing.
"Oh there is nothing for you to do here.", she pointed out, "I took out everything you might find solace in. You know there was a beautiful piano here, right over there. I sold it yesterday. You will get nothing from me, Edward Cullen, nothing. I don't want to hear your sad little love songs, I don't want to see you get one smile from anything you do here. You can stand here bored for the next 20 years for all I care. Just stand here and gape out the window, like the caged lion you are. I think that would make my James happy."
"When those 20 years are over…", Edward began with a low evil voice, "I will have my revenge, Victoria. So enjoy my sentence while it lasts."
"I will.", she looked at him, wishing there were any hint of James in Edward, but there wasn't. Edward was an eternal boy scout, giving her that wounded puppy face. James was wild, wicked, sexy. Her eyes went a little sad as she left the room.
"Fix my bath, Edward.", she demanded, taking off her coat and tossing it onto a large king sized bed.
He didn't move, clenching his jaw. How the hell was he going to bear this for 20 years? There was no way. He wished he could kill himself, at least he'd be out of his misery. Then he thought of Bella and what it would do to her if he killed himself. He promised her he'd never do that. Damn. Then the thought of Victoria having Bella forced Edward into the bathroom, kneeling at the tub and turning the faucets on. He wanted to scream.
"I like it cold.", she came in as he bent over the tub, turning on the water. His jaw tightened again, and he turned off the hot water.
"It figures.", he muttered.
"You've gotten too used to those human girls.", she smirked down at his back, "You're forgetting your own kind. That's one of the reasons they gave you to me, so I can teach you."
He stood up, with a cold look on his face, ignoring her.
"Nice cold water, bye.", he was about to walk out.
"Come back Edward." She ordered, watching as he stopped and didn't turn towards her.
"Come stand here by the tub and keep me company." She smirked, enjoying this game with Edward now, "James would always bathe with me."
"James bathed?", Edward crossed his arms, sounding surprised, not turning toward her.
"Now, Edward.", Victoria snapped, "Unless you want Bella to be washing my back…I suggest you behave.."
She was going to use Bella to make him move for the next 20 years, Edward told himself, and there was nothing he could do about it. He ached every time he heard her name, and as the years dragged on, he knew her name would only get harder to hear.
With a hard couple of steps, Edward turned, frozen in his spot, arms still crossed. His lips were a hard line of stone, his eyes deadly as he watched her.
She smiled wide, loving his raging eyes. Maybe he did have a little fire in him after all.
Victoria started unbuttoning her slacks, slipping them down her white bare legs. Edward just stared her down, not moving away, not giving her the satisfaction.
Then she unbuttoned her blouse, opening it, revealing her white pale breasts, still not getting Edward's sad or embarrassed eyes yet. She stood there, naked, waiting for him to react.
With a raised brow, Edward shrugged, "Is that it?"
But she was a skilled player, too, and she smiled back.
"You don't fool me Edward.", she purred, slipping into the cold water, "I know you're a pure little boy. I can't wait to teach you some things. Once you've loosened up, of course."
"I'd rather die." He informed.
She was right in the tub but as the water rose too high, she said, "Turn off the water, Edward."
With a small sigh, he bent down and turned it off, returning to his iron stance a couple feet away.
"So, tell me a little about Bella.", she played with his emotions again, for fun, staring at him while she laid back into the tub, "Does she like to take baths?"
Edward stared straight ahead, not even making eye contact. His jaw tightened, his fists clenched.
"Did she cry when you left her?", Victoria smiled more, "Did you tell her you'd come back?"
Nothing from Edward but controlled rage in his eyes.
"Edward…", she smiled coyly, "Are you going to cry?"
His nostrils flared as he inhaled, closing his eyes, willing himself not to kill her right in the tub.
"Do you miss your family yet?", she giggled, splashing him; water landing onto his white shirt, making part of it stick to his abs.
"Do you miss James yet?", he shot back, staring at her.
"You're not going to hurt ME, Edward.", she informed, "I can't BE hurt anymore. But you, you poor little Edward, can, because you have lots of people who you cannot be with for a long long time. Do you think Bella will marry someone else while you're gone, or do you think she'll wait twenty years til you come back ?"
"I hate you." He spat back simply.
"Yea, but, do you realize when you finally are free of me, she'll be like, 39 years old?", Victoria made a face, "She'll be old and dried up by that point. You guys will make such a cute couple then. People will think she's your Mommy."
"At least I'll see her again someday." Edward had a shred of hope left in his voice, "James is gone forever, good riddance."
"Well at least I won't have to worry about James finding happiness without me, having a full life while I was a slave to my worst enemy for 20 years.", she toyed with him, "Do you think you'll come to resent her? After all, it's all her fault you're in this mess."
Edward didn't answer, trying to tune out her voice.
"Besides," she smirked, wetting her hair in the water, "What if Bella meets with some horrible accident? She could get sick or die before you get a chance to see her again. That would be terrible."
"It better never happen, Victoria." Edward warned, not making eye contact, "If she dies, there's nothing to hold me to you…or to keep me from tearing you limb from limb."
"Tsk tsk tsk." Victoria shook her head, "Sentenced to 20 years and still so violent and eager to kill your own. I hope you learn something in the next 20 years. And, Edward, would you really go look Bella up after 20 whole years have gone by? That's not very smart. She surely will have moved on by then. One of her children will probably answer the door while you stand there, pathetically hoping she has any room left in her life for you. You'd humiliate yourself and her."
"Give me something to do." He demanded, folding his arms, so angry he knew he'd kill her if he didn't get away from her somehow, at least for a short time.
"Hmmm." She smiled, closing her eyes, "I'm hungry. Go get me something to eat. A nice strong high school boy. That would be lovely."
"What?" he didn't see this coming. His mind was so filled with anger and hurt that he didn't even think of reading her vile thoughts.
"You heard me, Edward Cullen." She splashed him again hard, getting water in his face this time, "Pick me out a nice cute one."
For a moment he pictured himself doing it, dragging some poor kid in here and watching while she played with him and finally fed on him. For a half second he considered Mike Newton…OOOH, Jacob Black! But, in all seriousness, he could only think of one word.
"No." he answered, wiping his face to rid himself of her smelly water scent.
"Edward." She frowned a bit, "Don't refuse me anything. I can discipline you if you don't obey me. This is part of your training, learning to hunt and capture your prey. You can get yourself one, too. Find a cute little couple in the park, making out or something. We'll split them."
"Are you deaf?" Edward looked into her eyes, "N – O." he spelled it for her.
"Very well." She replied, "You give me no choice then. I guess I'll have to be hard on you for awhile."
EPOV
When I couldn't stand thinking of the giant hole that was my life now, other little things poked at me, stupid things but regardless, they were bothering me.
I had no car, I had no money, no clothes of my own. Victoria told me I could only wear James' old clothes but that idea repulsed me. I was still wearing my white sweater that I'd worn on the day of my trial. It still had Bella's smell all over it, and also all the rest of my family's scent, too. That always comforted me and kept them close.
I didn't even have the dull routine of school anymore. I couldn't play my music, I couldn't read, I couldn't write. I hardly spoke at all. I truly had nothing, just as Victoria wanted it.
Then, once again, the more serious losses hissed in my brain. I had no father, no mother, no brothers and sisters, no Bella. I sat in the basement of the house most days, on the cool cement floor, not even wanting to use Victoria's furniture. This was not home. I had no home.
I loathed her more with every new day and she would often seek me out, taunting me about Bella mostly, and of course, how thirsty I looked. I wished there were some menial tasks I could perform that would at least make my days go by a little quicker, in some feeble hope that my mind could stop thinking about Bella for one second, but Victoria would give me nothing, not even that.
We were playing this little game of who would break first, me or her in the feeding department. I refused to drink human blood and she was just waiting until I crumbled and gave in to go hunting with her. Hunting animals was not allowed, she had told me in no uncertain terms. Besides, there were no real animals in this area to feed on anyway. So I let myself starve.
One night she tossed a little teenage girl with brown hair into the basement with me, locking her inside. For a half second I almost thought it was Bella in the dark, only the scent was so different than hers. That was the cruelest trick of hers yet. I smashed open a window up near the ceiling of the basement and it took all my control to boost her up to it and release her. She had stood on my back and I had almost considered feeding from her then but managed to stop myself.
What sucked was, the minute she got out Victoria pounced on her and killed her anyway, drinking her while I watched.
I once tried to write a letter to Bella, deciding that was somehow better than nothing at all. I was about to write something to the effect of 'live your life without me and be happy – forget about me" when Victoria had caught me doing it and mocked me tirelessly, reciting what I had written in a baby voice, then tearing it up and getting rid of any writing utensils and paper in the place.
The thirst is getting horrible now. I am starving but I can't even go hunt alone. I thought about doing what I'd done before and feeding off the wicked humans out there. God knows there were lots of them. But I knew from past experience how dark that had made me, how their essence would stay in my blood then, and I really would start to become James. That's all I worked for now, to stay Edward and not become James. In 20 years, if I had become James, I'd find Bella someday and she'd look at me with disgust, hating who I'd become. That thought terrified me daily.
Victoria's days were mostly spent in the house, bothering me. Victoria saw herself as a girl rock star, and she loved to party all night long with humans and vampires alike. Another reason I retreated to the basement. The entire house would become a nightclub at 9pm, the blaring music driving me up the walls. Humans and vampires doing drugs all over the place, having sex on the floor and furniture, kitchen counters, you name it.
By dawn, some of those humans were killed, feasted on by the partying vampires there. Cleaning this all up was one task she always let me perform. She told me I'd get used to it and soon I'd be up there with her, learning how to remove the stick from my ass. God how I hated her.
Today she came down to the basement and opened the door, standing there, sighing at me, disappointment painted all over her face.
"My poor, sad, little boy." Victoria began the teasing once more, making a sad face and slowly walking in, "Poor Edward. You just love to feel sorry for yourself, don't you?"
I just stared at the cement wall ahead of me, trying to think of Bella's laugh instead of Victoria's snide cutting little comments.
"Ready to feed today, Edward?" she always asked me this first thing every morning. As usual, I didn't reply.
"You look sick." She informed without emotion, "Sooner or later, we have to do this. You're supposed to be learning vampire life in these 20 years, not sitting around here all day."
My jaw tightened, letting her know she would not be hearing my voice today.
"Still not talking to me, either, huh?" she grinned, "You are such a child, Edward."
"Get up." She ordered as usual, going to the far right wall to get her weapon.
I stood up right away, taking my shirt off and folding it carefully, placing it on the floor near my favorite corner. This was a usual morning ritual with her. I used to fight it, telling her to go to hell, but then the courts had informed me if I kept resisting her orders, Bella would be here instead of me. So that ended any resistance I had left.
Victoria was watching me as she gave her silver whip a lash into the floor, liking the sound it made.
"That shirt has been on you since the day you came here." She said, just realizing, "I told you, you can wear James' clothes."
I'd rather eat shit, I thought before I could help myself, glad she couldn't read my mind. I reached up and grabbed the pipes tight, as per our usual routine.
"Tonight you will change clothes, Edward." She demanded, still not getting a response from me. If she thought me being here was going to cure her loneliness, she had another guess coming.
"Ready, baby?" she purred, loving having this control over me. She waited, looking at the half healed scars on my bare back, remembering each blow she had delivered. I always could read in her head the sexual excitement she got out of doing this to me, but she never did anything more than whip me, so I didn't bring it up, thankful she kept her distance.
I stared at the cement ahead of me again, steeling myself inside. This one hurt, this very thin and sharp whip of silver she had seemed to bite when it made contact. I would always bleed for a few minutes after each lash. But I couldn't let her know it hurt me.
A whoosh sound and a breeze accompanied the first morning's lash across the middle of my back, tearing the skin already. I clenched my eyes, gripping the pipes tighter overhead, keeping my teeth shut hard to hold in any sound I would make.
"You are going hunting with me tonight." She stated, delivering the next blow, making a big X mark across my white skin before her. I winced, glad she couldn't see my face. I thought my teeth might crack from the force I was using to grind them together.
"And you will speak to me from now on when I talk to you!" she added, snapping the next lash harder, across my spine. My head flew backwards, my body arching with it as I tried to process that last evil bite. But I didn't scream out…yet.
"What's that smell?" she asked as she came over to see my face, "Flowers."
Oh God no! Please don't let her figure it out, please! I begged, not moving from the spot I was in.
She sniffed, bending down and picking up my sweater in its nice neat fold on the floor. I frowned, looking away. Fuck.
"Oh I see." She smiled, smelling it again, holding it close to her nose, looking into my nervous eyes, "This is why you wear this shirt. Bella is in it."
"Victoria." I heard myself say as I looked at her but she cut me off.
"Oh now you want to talk to me, huh Edward?" she frowned, smelling it again, "There are lots of people in this shirt. Mommy…Daddy….those pathetic siblings of yours…and sweet, sweet Bella. I'm sure they all gave you lots of hugs and kisses before you went off to trial."
I let go of the pipes and tried reaching for the sweater but that was a mistake. She snatched it away from me and screamed, "HOLD ONTO THAT PIPE UNTIL I TELL YOU TO LET GO!"
With a helpless frown I lunged my hands back up to grip the pipes, my eyes shooting daggers at her.
"Please Victoria, don't." I didn't beg but she heard the tone of my voice. She knew I wanted that shirt…badly. I knew then it was as good as gone.
She smiled, holding it up to my face and saying, "Bite."
Swallowing in disgust, I opened my mouth and bit down on the collar of the sweater, hating her fascination with humiliating me.
"Good dog." She patted my hair and walked around behind me. I knew she wasn't finished whipping me yet. That usually went on for at least 2 hours.
She was looking for something, I could read that much in her mind. The lack of blood was making my mind reading a bit blurry and I hated that, too.
Something wet was being dumped over me and onto the sweater, the smell was instantly recognizable…gasoline.
My eyes widened and I shouted, "NO!" through the muffle of the sweater in my teeth. She flicked a lighter and slowly walked over in front of me again, smiling at me.
"I am all you have now. Get used to it. Say goodbye to them, Edward." She laughed, placing the flame under one of the sleeves. The whole thing went up in seconds, blazing as I dropped it from my mouth, a loud angry and pained growl tearing from my throat.
I heard myself roaring as I stared down at the flames near my feet, the whole thing was completely gone. My family…my love. I would not smell their sweet scents again for 20 years, if at all. It was all I had left. If I could have cried, I certainly would have.
I felt my body go limp, dangling as I held the pipes overhead. Then came another lash of the whip, right across the back of my neck.
"RRRRRRRRR" I felt my body jerk up at the intense pain.
"The pouting is over with, do you understand?" she was saying behind me. Another lash.
"You are going to start learning from me and acting like a vampire for once." She continued, delivering another hard cut to my shoulder blade.
"Say it." She demanded, "I will feed tonight."
LASH.
LASH.
LASH.
LASH.
I couldn't stand it anymore, I felt weak. I could feel long heavy wet lines on my back.
"I will feed tonight." I heard my pitiful voice breathe, closing my eyes, glad my family or Bella couldn't see me now. I was filled with shame and emptiness. I took the rest of her abuse that day without a word or a sound.
When she was finally satisfied that I'd had enough, she told me to go upstairs and clean up.
I went without another word, my back very wet as I gave one last look to the black pile of burnt cotton on the floor. It stunk of gasoline and burnt fabric. No smell of Bella or Esme or Alice…none of them. They were stolen from me all over again.
Victoria would go out now for awhile, if the sun wasn't out. Good, it wasn't, I could see as I got up to the living room.
"I will choose your food tonight." She informed me, sitting on the counter and lighting a cigarette as she watched me begin to get a large black garbage bag.
"I'm a big boy." I muttered, "I can pick my own."
She smiled, exhaling the smoke from her full red lips as she studied me working.
"You will really be something when you're normal." She observed, trying to give me some kind of compliment.
"I am normal." I said in a dull lifeless tone, throwing half eaten food and the contents of filled ashtrays into my bag.
She sighed, still amused by me, "You really are a brat, your back is bleeding and you're still the little mouthy one, aren't you, Edward?"
"Why can't you just leave me alone, Victoria?" I asked, sounding tired from the thirst inside me, "Surely there is something else you can do."
"See, you're so hungry." She informed, almost taking a little pity on me, "You will be glad after you've fed, believe me. Maybe you'll even thank me a little. I know those animals you've been living on are awful. You have to admit."
"They're not bad." I stated without emotion.
"Come here, Edward." She said all of a sudden, curling her finger topped with a long red nail, motioning for me to come to her. I stiffened without thinking about it first, frozen, my eyes locked on hers with a grim stare. She was a swirl of raging hormones and she wanted me to come to her. No way.
"I'm busy." I said, knowing that would not be the end of it. I looked down and kept collecting garbage, trying to ignore the lifeless bodies of the humans on the sofa beside me. I always took care of them last.
"Now Edward." She gritted as if calling an unruly child, "God DAMN it!"
I dropped the bag with an attitude and walked over to her, close but not that terribly close. I kept my eyes blank.
"I have been patient with you, haven't I, Edward?" she almost purred, curling her whip around the back of my neck and pulling me closer to the counter she sat upon. I winced, looking down instead of at her face, setting my jaw.
"Haven't I let you sulk downstairs for a couple weeks now?" she tried her nice voice on me as she searched my face for a hint of feeling. She reached up with one of her hands, touching my cheekbone as she leaned in, trying to touch her mouth to the spot she'd just been caressing.
"Stop." I said firmly, raising my eyes to hers, glaring all my resistance at her.
"You belong to me now." She said in a softer voice, both her hands in my hair, grabbing as I frowned more, "Please, Edward, stop being a baby. Be a man."
Her lips grabbed hold of mine like an animal's, biting and sucking hard. I felt sick inside and it didn't take me a second to push her off, as exhausted as I felt from lack of blood. She fell backwards off the kitchen counter, slamming to the tile floor on her back. Ooops, I cringed a bit, I didn't mean to do that. She was after all, a woman.
Before I could help myself I said, "Sorry, Victoria, are you alright?"
The second I said it I wanted to slap myself. I am covered with whip marks and I'm asking HER if she's alright.
She stood up, snarling, her red eyes almost blazed like raw fire at me, her mane of long red curls like a lioness'.
"That's IT!" Victoria screamed, "I don't want you anymore, I want Bella instead! NOW! We'll see how she kisses."
My blood felt like ice in an instant. GOD !
"Victoria, I didn't mean to push you that hard…" I tried explaining as she shoved past me, going to her purse, getting a cell phone out, dialing it.
"Law department please." She said into her phone, ignoring me.
SHIT!
"Victoria, wait." I heard myself say, "Don't do that."
"Yes I'll hold." She sneered, folding her arms and continuing to ignore me as I moved to stand right in front of her.
"Please Victoria." I said in a low voice, searching my mind to find something to say to stop her. I knew what she wanted to hear, but I loathed even thinking of speaking the words. In a moment, I would soon lose myself completely.
"Get out of my face, Edward." She looked enraged but controlled it, "I'm not going to chase you around for 20 years, fuck you, you think you're too good for me ?!"
"Alright!" I shouted as she finished her sentence. She stopped yelling and stared at me, fuming.
Please forgive me, Bella. I will do anything to keep her from you, even if it means letting her have me.
I leaned in, forcing my mouth to touch hers, briefly, my eyes open, watching her eyes, not trusting her at all.
It felt like 100 years to me that the kiss lasted but she looked at me and said with a shrug, "Is that it ?"
Is that IT ?! I just betrayed everything I was to kiss her and it still wasn't good enough. I felt my eyes squint back at hers, in disbelief.
"Again, better." She demanded, waiting, staring at my lifeless eyes. I hesitated and she shook her cell phone, adding, "I'm still on hold, Edward, tick tock."
Almost trembling, I forced myself to act, switching off my brain and acting like the once dominant demon I had been during the decades I had hunted humans.
I grabbed her hair on both sides, yanking her to me hard, reading her memories with James, scanning over her desires to imitate her thoughts. I devoured her mouth as she had done to mine a moment ago, biting and roughly shoving my tongue inside, hating myself, hating her, hating my life.
I shoved her with my body, throwing her against the wall as I went numb, still kissing as hard as I could so she would stop threatening Bella. For an instant, I pretended I was kissing Bella herself, with all the enthusiasm and passion I had, no longer afraid to break her. I knew as soon as I did it, it would hurt me when I opened my eyes and saw it was all a lie.
"Edward, JESUS!" Victoria spoke in a husky breath, approving of my new energy, busting the fantasy of Bella being in my arms.
"What the hell happened to YOU?!" she gasped as she tossed the phone away, grabbing the back of my hair with her long fingernails, "Shit!" she roared, kissing me back with equal fierceness.
James WHO? I heard her thinking as I shut everything else out and performed my task, then I heard her mind say, Bella is a magic word. I won't forget that in the future.
Bitch! I felt sick again, instantly wishing I could take the last minute back. I felt myself pull away from her, breathing hard as she grabbed my jeans, quickly unbuckling the top button.
"WHOA!" I shouted, grabbing her wrists, pinning them to the wall at her sides, seeing the instant confusion in her eyes.
"Oooh, I like this game." She smiled, liking it that I gripped her wrists this way.
"Victoria, we have to stop this." I said quickly, letting her wrists go, backing away from her, hurrying back to pick up the garbage bag I was holding earlier, "I have work to do."
I knew I was only avoiding it, she would not let this go and I knew it.
"Oh no, Edward, after that little display, now I KNOW you're holding out on me." She pursued me, eager to pick up where my anger had left off.
"No." I said firmly, "That was a mistake, it wasn't me. Forget it."
"Screw YOU." She said in a high pitched voice, "I want you right now…take off those jeans like a good little pet."
"You can't force me to do THIS." I kept my back to her, wishing she'd just go away. I knew she really COULD force me. All she had to do was use her magic word. And we both knew it.
See next chapter soon!
Love
WinndSinger