Chapter 13 – Easier?

The bedroom had been a bit larger than she had anticipated. The entire north wall was windows overlooking the gardens and courtyard below, and the left wall was covered with bookshelves. A little space was set in the corner between the windows and bookshelves for a doorway that presumably led to an adjacent bathroom. Next to the entrance doorway was a small bookshelf, a dresser, and a desk, all made out of dark wood. The floor was a black carpet; the walls were a dark blue color, matching the blankets and pillow cases on the bed. A little nightstand stood next to the large, king-size bed and had a little lamp, a prescription bottle, and a digital clock set neatly on it. It was a rich man's bedroom to be sure. And the rich man who owned it was now sitting up straight, leaning against the headboard, and listening intently through her pink cell phone.

Seto and she were both sitting on the large bed, Tea near the center and Seto a little to the right. She could see a small black and blue mark that formed close to his temple, most likely where he landed the hardest on the floor. "Joey should be thankful he is sick," Tea thought, leaning slightly forward to get a better view of the CEO. "If he wasn't, Joey would have probably been killed right then and there."

"You expect me to swallow that?" Seto countered, his eyes narrowing and a scowl appearing on his face.

"Speaking of Joey…"

"I just want to know why the hell you deemed it necessary to body slam me," he continued. All Tea could do was listen to what he said, guessing from his remarks what Joey told him. She wished she had speaker phone on her cell, but alas, that wasn't installed into her mobile device. "So do you body slam me every time you think you're having a bad day?" Seto asked, his eyes narrowing even more.

"Come on, Seto," Tea thought, frowning slightly at his comments. "Can't you just accept his apology? I know Joey probably isn't as sorry about the whole incident as I had hoped, but still, the fact that he's actually going through with an apology is something. He isn't always like that, Seto, and you know it. Why are you being so…so difficult?"

"Although I don't think it's a good excuse, I guess I have to take it," Seto stated, getting her out of her short trance. "I don't expect this whole 'attack me' episode to occur every day, do you understand? I do appreciate the apology, however, but let's not have it resort to such things next time, else I won't be so forgiving." Pulling the phone away from his ear, he pressed a button and closed the phone, indicating he was done with the conversation. He then tossed it back to Tea and crossed his arms over his chest. "There, happy?"

"Actually, no," she answered, pocketing her cell phone.

"Well I'm not happy about having to skip a day of school either, so I guess the feeling's mutual."

"Why were you so defensive against him?" Tea asked as she pulled her knees up to her chest. Wrapping her arms around her shins, she placed her head on her knees and stared at Seto. "All he was trying to do was apologize for what he did. Why couldn't you just say 'thanks' and move on?"

"That's what that dog gets for attacking me like that," Seto answered.

"He's not a dog, Seto, and—"

"I said you could only call me Seto when we were at the orphanage. Nowhere else."

"Look, I'm tired of switching back and forth. Jade won't let me call you 'Kaiba', so I guess you're stuck with Seto everywhere outside of school."

"Um, no. I don't think so."

"I do. And as for Joey, if you didn't provoke him every day, maybe he wouldn't have lost it and attacked you the way he did."

"I can't help it he can't control his emotions. That's not my problem. Besides, in case you never noticed it, he's the one that starts all that shit. I just happen to end it every single time."

"That doesn't give you the right to--"

"Are you lecturing me, Gardner?"

"No! I just don't understand you!"

"Good. I don't want you to."

Tea sighed in frustration and rolled her eyes. "I can't comprehend how you're so nice to those kids at the orphanage yet are a total asshole to everyone else."

Seto's eyes narrowed even more so at this statement. "I'm nice to those kids because I think they deserve it, unlike that mutt you have for a friend. It's none of your business who I'm nice to or not; that's my life and my problems to deal with. Got it?"

"But Seto…think about today. What if they knew you could be such a nice person? You could have avoided this entire episode!"

"What, and let other corporations stomp on me? Let other people use my emotions against me? I don't think so. And if you even think about telling your friends about me working at that orphanage and telling them how kind of a person I am, you better think twice."

Tea blinked in surprise and suddenly found the blueness of the blanket interesting. "I…I admit I thought about it," she whispered after a couple of seconds passed. "I thought that, if I did, it would stop Joey from attacking you. I felt so helpless, just standing there and watching him attack you after yelling at you for being heartless, something I know you aren't. I wanted to do something…anything…but I couldn't. I promised you I wouldn't tell them, and I never break my promises."

"It's not your fault they're ignorant, Tea. It's mine."

"Then tell them! Show them you can be happy!" Looking up at him, Tea saw his eyes widen slightly before turning to look out the window.

"Why would I? Let them think the way they do. I don't care if they call me 'heartless', a bastard…I don't care. As long as they leave me alone, I'm okay with it."

"But why?! Why are you okay with people not understanding you?!"

"I don't see how that's any business of yours, Tea," he remarked, his eyes returning their gaze to her. "It's easy for me, and that's all you have to know."

"Easy? It's easier for you to be hated than liked, is that what you're saying? And don't feed me that line of shit that people are dangerous. Of course people are, but not everyone is. Maybe if you trusted people more often, you wouldn't be getting body slammed out of ignorance!"

She gasped as the CEO dove for her, grabbed her wrist, and pulled her forward so that their faces were merely inches apart. "If you went through what I did, you would understand why I feel this way," he growled, a mixture of emotions showing in his eyes. "Yes, it's easier to be hated than understood; I don't have to explain my actions to anybody. It relieves me of caring what others think about me, which seems to rule over a lot of people's lives as of late. I don't like people, Tea. I never did, and I don't see myself ever doing so. I'd rather be hated than have to explain myself to the entire world. And if that means getting body slammed every so often, fine. As long as I don't get close to others, I'm okay."

All she could do was stare in wonder at him. "How…how can you think like that?" she asked, tears forming at the edges of her eyes. "How can you go to bed thinking of yourself like that every night?"

"Easily, and without much of a problem."

"So you just want to be alone the rest of your life, is that what you're saying?"

"I don't really care."

Something inside Tea snapped, and in one quick motion, she released her wrist from his grasp and grabbed him by the collar. "You're making me wish I never cared about you, Seto!" she shouted. "I was worried about you, for Christ's sake! I didn't know if you were going to be okay or not! And now you're telling me you'd rather be hated than be liked, indirectly saying that my efforts were in vain and pointless! Well let me tell you something! There are people out there that care about you! Jade, those kids, Mokuba, and…and I! We all care about you! So why can't you just show the world that you are a kind person and that you would give whatever was necessary to ensure those you loved were protected! Why can't you just make your life easier for yourself?!" She quickly reached over and grabbed the prescription bottle, shoved it in his face, and shouted, "Maybe if you didn't think of yourself this way, you wouldn't be on your last fucken bottle!"

Realizing what she just said, Tea's eyes widened as the bottle slowly fell out of her hand, tears now streaming down her face. Her entire body began to shake, and she slowly wrapped her arms around her waist and hung her head. "I…I'm sorry," she choked out, her sobs rattling her body. "Jade…Jade told me about your medication and how it made you sick. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have brought that up. I—"

Feeling two hands on her shoulders, she gasped and quickly looked up to see Seto staring intently at her, his eyes wide in surprise. There was no anger in them, only sadness. Sadness and a little worry. "You could never understand why I do this to myself, Tea," he stated slowly, his voice barely above a whisper. "Just know this. You caring about me means a lot more than I will ever let on. I…I am appreciative of you, Jade, Mokuba…all those kids. I just…I can't express my emotions like everyone else can, Tea. That's not me. Being hated just makes things a lot easier for me, okay?"

"No, it's not okay."

"Tea, you need to understand that this is something I need to do. I can't let others know about my past and allow them to pry my emotions out. I can't let that happen."

Crying, Tea leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. "I still don't understand."

"And that's good. It means you know just enough, and nothing more."

"What don't you want others to know about, exactly?"

"Ah, but that would be telling." She looked up to see a playful smirk on his face as he wiped away her tears. "Now that's enough for today. Go to the orphanage and tell Jade that I'm doing fine. I should be back in school tomorrow."

Nodding her head, Tea watched as Seto lied back down on the bed, the black and blue mark evident on his pale skin. She sighed and shook her head before leaving the room, turning around once to see his eyes closed, a pained expression on his face. She soon left, realizing how little she wanted to go to work now, and decided to call Jade and see if she could just go home. There was just too much to think about.