I have no excuse for not updating, except for this.

School.

That is all.

-z/S

P.S. I lied, it's not all.

I got hit by a car today. :o

Dave Strider.

You fucked up so utterly and completely. You fucked up in ways that cannot be described by words alone. You fucked up so bad that whoever invented the practice of fucking up just started weeping with tears of joy, as he cries "Magnifique!" And all the fuck ups dance around him and throw rose petals in his hair.

God you've never regretted something this much before in your life.

You knew she would react that way! You knew it from the start!

She's just not that kind of person. That kind of girl. She wouldn't cheat on her matesprit if her life depended on it.

But, she was complaining, right? Maybe they had broken up! Maybe she just doesn't like you!

Hoo hoo hee ha hoo!

…

Maybe not. She sees you as friends.

Right?????

gog fucking damn does your head hurt

you should go see her

But Dave! What if she's with Vantas? You would probably walk in on some tender moment and just make everything awkward! Eeee haa ha hooo! Or maybe they're-

You purposely bash your head against the cold, concrete roof. The voice that seems to follow your pain finally shuts up, basking in the feeling of the new head wound.

The sky is black. Black like the licorice that she loves. But everything seems bright. Much too bright to be... oh, right.

Your shades.They're a little ways away from you, on the floor. You hope that they aren't broken. It might seem petty, but they're currently one of a mere few reminders of John.

You can't believe you ever saw her as a pleasure object. That you would ever, ever, think about her body in a way that would make even the most prestigious porn star cringe. It feels awful, to know that those thoughts would run through your head on a regular basis...

But then you started having those funny feelings. That weird pulling in your chest whenever she walked into Can Town, or how self-conscious you would become when she started sniffing a lot.

And that smile. Any being would be lucky to see such a smile just once in their lifetime. It was wide and particularly silly, yes, but it was also warm, and when you weren't fantasizing about what her tongue could do... it just seemed to fit her, like a little thing that showed one more little genuine piece of her. It was something that constanly reminded you of Jade, so long ago. Before you met Terezi, these feelings happened with Jade too. Your heart would tug whenever you saw that notification, 1 new pester from gardenGnostic...

But you haven't seen Jade in such a long time. A little bit over a year now... and you hadn't thought of her much until now. Terezi had mostly occupied your thoughts...

Right, Terezi.

You have to talk to her. She needs to know that you're genuine. She needs to know that you just misread her, and acted on impulse.

She needs to know that you were utterly terrified, and that you meant what you said. If she chooses to stay with Karkat, then fine. At least you'll have gotten that off your chest, if not that little weird feeling. You won't make it awkward, and you'll remain friends. Or... moerels or whatever.

But first you have to be able to stand up. Your head feels a bit hazy at the moment, probably from the blood loss from your head. Your eyes are droopy, so you figure that a quick doze would be best. If you're tired, you'll mess up with Tez.

Your eyes relax as they drift closed. Your conversation with Terezi replays in your head, both the one up here and the one that will happen soon. Maybe things will go perfectly... for once.

There's a tiny smile on your face as you drift off. Just the tiniest sign that something makes you happy.