P is for Partridge

"Mommy, what's a partridge?"

Buffy looked down at her daughter with some surprise, stopping in her stake-whittling to regard her.

"Uh…a TV family?" she said uncertainly.

Callie's face scrunched up in confusion with that response. "What's he doing climbing a pear tree? And how can you give someone a person for Christmas?"

Buffy stared at her blankly, lost, then frowned, starting to get a little worried.

"Pear tree? There aren't any pear trees around here…where is this pear tree? And why is someone selling it? You can't sell a person! That would be illegal, that's called slavery, and slavery is illegal! Who's selling people- are there demons involved?" Buffy asked rapidly, standing up.

Behind her Faith guffawed, snorting incredulously.

"You're such a ditz, B…no one's selling anyone or climbing any pear trees. She's talking about a song, aren't you, Cal? The one with turtle doves and golden rings and ladies dancing…"

"What? A wedding song?" Buffy asked, more confused than ever. "Where did Callie learn a wedding song?"

Faith sputtered with laughter again, even longer and louder this time. "NO, blondie, "The Twelve Days of Christmas! You can't tell me you've never heard that before!"

"Ohhh," Buffy realized, starting to flush with embarrassment. "Right…"

"You know Mommy… 'on the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…'" Callie sang, earnest, not seeming to find it nearly as amusing as Faith did. "Hey, how come WE don't get twelve days of Christmas?"

"Because we'd be stacking up debt on Santa's credit cards," Buffy said dryly. Fixing an eye on Faith, who was still snickering, she added, "And I know a certain true love around here who won't be getting anything but coal and a switch for Christmas if she doesn't shut up fast…"

"Oooh, you gonna spank me, B?" Faith grinned wickedly, eyes gleaming. Buffy slapped her forearm as her eyes widened in alarm, and she glanced over at Callie quickly.

"Faith, stop that!"

"You can't spank Mama, Mommy, she's a grown-up," Callie protested, her brow wrinkling. "And Santa Claus will bring her stuff…"

"Yeah, B," Faith grinned, wiggling her eyebrows. "SANTA Claus likes me…"

"Well, yeah, of course he would, as long as you were sitting on his lap-"

"B!" Faith exclaimed, actually a little shocked herself, and now it was her turn to look over hurriedly at the oblivious Callie.

"You're too big, Mama, you might hurt him. He's an old man, you know," Callie said seriously, and now it was Buffy's turn to snicker.

"Yeah, Faith, you're too big…"

"You never seem to feel that way yourself, B- not what you said last night-" Faith started to shoot back dangerously.

But Callie, scowling now, obviously fed up with their banter, interrupted them, putting her hands on her narrow hips. "You never told me- what's a partridge?"

The two women glanced at each other blankly, then both shrugged simultaneously.

"Dunno…"

"Uh…don't know, Callie…"

"Figures," Callie muttered before heading off to her room.