"3... 2... 1... You're live, Lady Green Heart!"
The Vert of the other dimension nodded towards the camera, a pleasant smile on her face. She had been waiting for a long time to be able to make this special appearance — she hadn't gotten a chance in the main story, being a character currently more minor than Nisa's cup size, after all, but she'd hijacked the set and now nothing would stop her from her big moment! This might be the only chance she had to make everyone out there watching more interested in her story!
"Hello, everyone!" Waving politely at her viewers, Vert placed her hands on her lap. She was wearing her best dress, wearing her best smile, on her best behavior, and doing her best in every other respect to not ruin this moment. "While I know this may come as a bit of a surprise, seeing as I haven't appeared much in this lovely little story so far, I thought it would be nice to let you lovely people in on what I've been up to behind the scenes. It's nothing too interesting, but who knows? Maybe you'll like what you'll see and just maybe you'll want to see more of it! Won't this be fun?"
As she spoke, Vert picked up a remote that was placed on the desk before her. It was a simple remote, meant for managing projectors and the like, and it was in fact connected to one such projector at this very moment. With her time to shine finally here, Vert raised the remote and hit the power button. The device flickered to life, and behind her, an image appeared, projected onto the screen behind her.
"As you can see, this is me on my vacation." Setting the remote down, Vert held up a hand behind her to put proper focus on the image on the screen behind her. It was naturally a picture of herself, as were most of the pictures that she planned on showing during this groundbreaking segment she had planned. This one in particular was a rather saucy one in which she was at the beach getting a tan — she was even face down on her towel with her top undone, showing off her bare back to all who might be watching! How scandalous! "I'm such a busy CPU, doing so many exciting things so much of the time, that being able to take time off was a pleasant change of pace. However..."
Gently picking up the remote again, Vert tapped the button that would change the image on screen. The next picture was again focusing on Vert's bare back, but the situation in this picture couldn't be more different than in the previous one. Between the first picture and this new one, it appeared as though a pack of dogoos had appeared, one snatching away Vert's bikini top and dashing off while the rest appared to be trying to assist in the bikini thief's escape by blocking Vert.
Vert resisted smiling to herself as she heard the various gasps from the people in the studio. Of course they were surprised! While they had all been watching Neptune and Noire beat around the bush for 50 chapters, with Vert's counterpart even getting dragged down into it, this Vert had been almost completely naked and running around the beach! Look at what they were missing out on!
Already, things were going according to plan for Vert.
It was only a matter of time now before her spinoff was announced...
"O-Oh my, I didn't remember this picture being so showy!" Lie that it was, not a single person called her on it, for Vert looked for the world like she was just as surprised as everyone else was at the events being portrayed in the picture. Sure, Neptune and Noire had their bits of nudity from time to time, but did they have the body to make it count? No, they certainly did not. "Let's change this to a different one! I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea, after all..."
The truth was, of course, that that was exactly what Vert wanted.
"Let's see what was next..." Pressing the button ever so gently so that her show could proceed, Vert let out a gasp and quickly hit the button again before anyone, even the narration and her internal dialogue, could make heads or tails of what kind of image it was that she had shown. That one really wasn't supposed to be in there... Luckily it had only been up for a second...! "Er... Oopsie! We're just having a little technically difficulty over here. Now, here I am after dealing with those pesky dogoos, enjoying a tasty drink on the boardwalk..."
Despite the fact that Vert was showing another interesting picture about her exciting vacation, it appeared as though the people in the studio were much more interested in trying to figure out what they had seen during that brief second in which a picture Lady Green Heart hadn't intended for them to see had been on screen. Even the camerawoman wasn't paying attention anymore — luckily for Vert, there was only one camera she needed to look at, or this could have gotten messy fast.
Vert was starting to get nervous. She reached for a conveniently placed glass of water and took a drink of it as she continued narrating, telling the exciting story about how her innocent lunch had turned into a life-or-death battle fought with chopsticks and a cookie. Despite the thrilling story and matching pictures, people clearly were more interested in what she hadn't intended to show... This wasn't good at all! No one was supposed to know about that, at least not yet! But how had it gotten in there?
"A-Anyway, enough about that girl and her chopsticks, let's move on, shall we?" Vert clapped her hands, a bit more loudly than one might have expected, in the hopes that it would get the attention of those around her. She couldn't even imagine what was going on online right now. If anyone had been able to get a screenshot of that picture... "Now, this next one is a favorite of mine, but it's especially risque, so good little boys and girls should make sure their mommies and daddies aren't watching if they want to see, okay?"
Winking at the camera, as if to show any concerned parents it wasn't going to be all that bad, Vert pressed the button to signal the next picture... and all hell broke loose.
"Here we have me at the hot springs. As you can see, I..." Vert was holding her hand up to display the "goods" on the screen, sure that showing such a tantalizing image would be more than enough to seduce anyone over to her side from Neptune and Noire's. To her surprise, however, the cries that erupted were ones that were definitely not ones reacting to a simple screenshot of an obligatory hot springs scene.
"I knew it!"
"Impossible!"
"It was Lady White Heart!"
"I refuse to believe it!"
"You can't deny the proof! It's right there!"
"But... Lady White Heart... And Lady Green Heart...? How could this be...?"
"Makes sense to me."
"That's impossible! Everyone knows Lady White Heart lusts after Lady Iris-"
"Be quiet! Do you want to get us killed!?"
As the studio erupted into chaos, Vert spun around to look at the screen behind her. The image that had been supposed to appear was one that wasn't anything that deserved this kind of outcry. For one thing, she was the only person in it! Why would she want to share the attention here with Blanc of all people?! And now of all times...?!
"I-I see we're still having some technical difficulties then!" Forcing a laugh that still came out as sounding panicked, Vert quickly pushed the button in the hopes of switching to the image that was supposed to be next — but to her horror, another image of her with Blanc appeared instead. She kept pushing buttons, but with every push, the images got worse and worse! Letting out a cry of frustration as the crowd of studio workers began taking pictures of the images on the screen, Vert finally flung the remote as hard as she could towards the projector, letting out a relieved sigh when the device exploded, taking out the images projected behind her with it. "T... There. There will be no more of that. I'll... I'll simply have to describe my vacation from here on out, since my pictures were so rudely tampered with!"
Vert did her best to collect herself — really, she did. Still... Her mind couldn't help but race, her heart couldn't help but pound as memories flashed through her mind. Things she had been holding back on for the sake of plot twists, things she had been pretended weren't there due to a night they had both regretted... The confused days that haad followed...!
Why was she being reminded of these things now?! This was not the time! How could this have happened?
"Unless..."
Could it be...? Had Blanc figured out what Vert had been planning and slipped these pictures in in order to get in on her plan as well? But... That would be crazy! That really wasn't supposed to be revealed until later on in the actual story! Was she really willing to spoil such an important plot point just so they could have more screentime earlier than planned...?!
As Vert mulled this over, it dawned on her why Blanc would do such a thing.
It was simple.
Vert hated knowing about future events in a story, so of course such a strategy wouldn't occur to her. But when it came to getting attention and attracting people to her side — to their side?
This... This was brilliant!
She supposed she had little choice now. Maybe this had been Blanc's plan all along. If so, then well played, White Heart, well played! Vert puffed out her chest as she placed her hands on the table, standing up with a sense of urgency that, surprisingly, managed to surprise everyone in the room — perhaps even everyone watching at home through the still running cameras as well. The screeching her chair made probably didn't hurt either.
"Everyone! I have an announcement to make." Her words were spoken clearly and firmly. She was nervous about this, but she supposed she could get away with it here, since this chapter wasn't connected to the main story anyway. It wouldn't hurt things too much, would it? "I was hoping I wouldn't have to explain them, but... It appears I have no choice. This is about those pictures of myself and Bla... and Lady White Heart that you all just saw."
Sighing, Vert closed her eyes. There was no turning back now. She just hoped that this was what Blanc wanted of her. It had to be... Right?
"The truth is... Those were not fake. Those were not tampered with. The truth is that we have been lovers since shortly after the events of the third game." Ignoring the gasps and cries coming from everyone in the room, Vert put her hands together and in front of her and continued. For the sake of their screentime... If this was what Blanc wanted of her, then so be it! "We've kept it in hiding for a long time, keeping appearances and not wanting to start any international problems with Lastation or Planeptune, but this is the undeniable truth."
Vert looked away from the camera and the leering eyes of those in the studio as her cheeks began to burn, covering one cheek with a hand as she sighed. If Blanc had wanted to do it this way, why couldn't she have come here to help? Honestly, that CPU could be such a character...
"Our love story was meant to take center stage in a later part of this story, and it was to be revealed bit by bit, but it appears as though I have no choice now but to reveal this to you all. I... I hope you aren't disappointed in us." Lowering her head, Vert placed her hands on her legs. It wouldn't do the two of them any good to upset the people they wanted backing them, after all. "Please forgive us for keeping this from you for so long!"
It didn't even take a full second for the people surrounding Vert in the studio to react. Tears in their eyes, they all began shaking their head furiously or pumping their fist in the air.
"We would never hold it against you!"
"May your love last forever!"
"Director, you owe me fifty bucks!"
"Forgive us for reacting so badly, Lady Green Heart!"
"Let Lady White Heart know that we all approve of your everlasting relationship!"
"This is even better than my fanfiction!"
"Praise Lady Green Heart and Lady White Heart's love!"
"It's the union of the best of both worlds!"
Vert smiled a genuine smile as she raised her head, wiping the tears from her eyes as she looked over the cheering people. Who knew they would be so accepting? After all the worries she had seen displayed by her counterpart, she had been sure she would have...
"TANZERIN TROMBE!"
Frozen in place, Vert could only watch in horror as a familiar axe slammed down into the desk that she stood behind. As it burst into more pieces than she could ever possibly hope to count, she slowly began raising her hand as beads of sweat started rolling down her neck. She meant to signal the people behind the camera to stop the recording, but they were all cowering under tables now — the show would go on!
"I can't believe you are seriously this stupid. Did you really think I wouldn't see this before you finished filming this crap!?"
Vert swallowed as the source of the voice came into view and took her axe out of the remains of the desk.
This was no picture on a screen.
White Heart herself had arrived on scene.
"O-Oh, if it isn't Blanc..." Smiling hesitantly, Vert clapped her hands together and leaned to the side ever so slightly, in a pose that she hoped was cute. Had Blanc not wanted their relationship exposed yet? Maybe those pictures really had gotten into things by mistake? Whatever the case, Vert hoped the camera crew would take a hint and cut things off, but to no avail. "W... What brings you here?"
"What brings me here? What brings me here!?" The CPU's indignant voice was rivaled only by the sound her just retrieved axe made as she slammed it back into the ground in frustration. "How about all of this crap you're saying on live TV!? What the hell gives you the right to go around putting stuff like that on here!?"
"W-Well, I thought it was what you wanted... Darling..." Vert swallowed. This was about to go downhill really fast and she needed to get to that camera. Slowly taking a step forward, Vert began making her way towards the device, its red light still blinking, signifying countless people were still viewing her even now. She didn't want them to witness the lover's spat that this was about to become!
Unfortunately, before Vert could get any further, White Heart's axe slammed down once more — this time directly in front of her.
"Cut the crap, Vert!" Hoisting her axe up into the air, White Heart pointed the weapon square in front of the CPU before her. The blonde flinched, but made no move to retreat or continue approaching the camera otherwise. "Maybe they can't see what you're up to, but you can't fool me!"
"M-My my, I have no idea what you're talking about..." Despite her words, Vert was making a "cutting" motion with her hand against her neck, as if signaling for someone, anyone, to stop this from being filmed. All this got her was a particularly brave intern coming out from underneath a table... and booting up another camera so they could get close ups. They hadn't done that when it had been just her earlier! "Why don't you and I take this outside? Or... to our bedroom?"
"We don't have a bedroom, you lunatic!" And there went the axe again, crashing down into the floor. Who was going to pay for all of this damage? They hadn't even gotten married yet, they couldn't possibly afford this kind of thing when they still needed to pick out a house and- "And stop messing with the narration! Seriously, holy cow! You've been leading everybody reading this on from the start, and nobody's buying any more of it!"
Vert at least had the sense to look affronted at that accusation... but at this point, there was no helping it. Not with Blanc here to call her on anything else she could say to try to defend her story.
She was totally busted.
Her lip starting to tremble, Vert crossed her arms and turned to the side.
"It's not that big of a deal, Blanc. Honestly... So I had some fun with the narration, why is that a problem? It would have gotten both of us a bigger role in the story if you'd just let me finish!" Sighing, clearly disappointed in White Heart foiling her plans, Vert placed a finger to her temple. "I suppose it can't be helped... You just can't see the 'bigger' picture here, can you?"
"Get over yourself!" Stomping her foot, White Heart set her axe down and floated over to Vert so she could look the other CPU in the eye. "We've not lovers! We're not even dating! And we never will be! If you had stuck on any of those 'photos' you were showing up there for more than a few seconds, anybody could have seen you faked them, you friggin' moron! My sisters could've done a better job than that, for crying out loud! Though I guess it's a good thing you have boobs for brains, or this might have ended badly... Seriously, why the hell did you need to pull this!?"
Vert swallowed. Tears were starting to spill out of her eyes.
"I... I..."
For a moment, White Heart faltered. For just a moment, with no tampering of the narration on Vert's part, she reconsidered her actions.
"I feel so left out... I just wanted to fit in...! So what if I had to be stuck with the equivalent of a cardboard cutout for the rest of my life? At least we'd be fitting in with everyone else, Blanc! That's all I wanted... I just wanted to fit in!"
White Heart immediately regretting giving Vert the benefit of the doubt. Retrieving her axe, the CPU began floating away, shaking her head as she called out the line to instigate a change in scene as she left.
"Oh, shut up and go fit in a coffin! If you can find one that's big enough to fit your chest, that is!"