Summary: After the hologram feature on the MTM breaks, Calvin installs a voice chip into it.

And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie

An MTM Episode

KABOOM!!!

"AAAUUGH!!!" Calvin screamed for the fiftieth time that day. "Stupid Time Traveling Software!!"

Hobbes, who was sitting on Calvin's bed reading a comic book, rolled his eyes as Calvin stood up, grabbed a handkerchief off his desk, and wiped all the black ash off his face.

"So, Calvin, tell me," Hobbes asked, putting the comic book down. "Are you any closer to fixing the MTM than you were when you first started?"

"NO, I'M NOT!!!" Calvin shouted, angrily. "This hologram software is a hard to repair! Everything keeps blowing up in my face!!"

Hobbes looked down at the MTM.

Calvin had taken off the top part, and was currently fiddling with the main components. Smoke was rising from it, and little sparks of electricity were flying from it.

"So, the hologram feature is broken?" Hobbes asked.

"Yes, everything." Calvin said. "The Main Menu, The Keyboard, the messaging feature. The MTM is totally useless without this stuff!"

"Well, if I may make a suggestion..."

"I AM NOT GIVING IT TO SHERMAN!!!" Calvin screamed. "That stupid rodent would probably mess everything up!"

"Uh, I wasn't going to suggest Sherman." Hobbes said. "I was suggesting maybe your Dad could have a look at it."

Calvin stared at Hobbes for a long throbbing moment.

"Hobbes, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life." He said, finally. "Dad knows nothing about computers or how they work. It's a wonder he's even able to turn ours on!"

"Well, he fixed that Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs beani hat for you." Hobbes considered, thinking back on the days before Andy, Sherman, Socrates, Rupert and Earl, Dr Brainstorm or any of the inventions.

"Right, and remember what happened in the end?" Calvin demanded.

"Uh, yes, you got angry at it, because it wouldn't fly, and you ended up pitching it in the garbage." Hobbes recalled.

"Correct! Now then, would you please..."

Suddenly the sound of a doorbell rang out through the house.

Hobbes' eyes popped open.

"Oops! Hold that thought! That has to be Socrates!" He yelled.

ZOOM!!!

A high burst of wind suddenly flew through Calvin's room, and Hobbes vanished.

Calvin glared after him.

"There you go again!" He shouted after him. "Not only did you just pull that stupid vanishing act of yours, again, but you're going to go interact with that thing, again!"

Hobbes raced downstairs, and ripped the door open.

"Greetings, Hobbo!" Socrates grinned, holding up a handful of blue prints, pencils, and compasses. "Ready to prepare our latest Team Prank?"

"Always ready!" Hobbes grinned. "Come on in!"

Socrates strolled into the house.

"So, where's Target, today, I mean... Calvin?" He asked, grinning, sheepishly, sitting down on the couch.

"Oh, well he's up in his room, trying to fix the MTM." Hobbes said. "Remember, we had a pretty intense TV movie a while ago, and it ended with the MTM's hologram software blowing up."

"Oh, right." Socrates remembered, laying the blueprints out across the coffee table. "That John-Alein-Howard-extraterrestrial-Chill-being guy broke it. How's his progress?"

KABOOOM!!!

"AAAAAAUGH!! CURSE YOU, BROKEN TIME MACHINE!!!"

"I see," Socrates nodded. "Well, let's get to work, then."

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Many hours went by.

By this time, Socrates and Hobbes had planned out another prank, and Socrates was wrapping it up.

"OK, then, Hobbo," he said, rolling the blueprints up. "The plan is set."

"This will be the prank that will top all others we've ever done!" Hobbes grinned.

"Ditto. I"ll set it in motion tomorrow at five o'clock." Socrates said.

"Location?" Hobbes asked.

"The Calvinball field." Socrates replied.

"Sounds good." Hobbes nodded. "Now get out of here, before Calvin..."

SLAM!!

Hobbes and Socrates looked upward.

Calvin was walking down the stairs, holding the MTM with a large grin on his face.

The MTM's top was now fixed and back in place. The top had been polished, and it looked brand new.

"OK, Hobbes, Freak," He said, walking over to the two tigers. "I have fixed the Mini Time Machine."

"Really?" Hobbes asked. "The hologram feature is back?"

"No." Calvin replied. "I've decided to experiment with something else."

There was a long moment of silence.

"Uuhhh... yes?" Socrates asked.

"I have installed a voice chip into the MTM's main hard drive!" Calvin announced, proudly, holding the MTM out for Hobbes and Socrates.

"Wow," Socrates said, his eyes widening. "A talking CD player? What will you think of next?"

"Uh huh," Calvin said. "Anyway, I haven't activated it, yet, so I don't know what it's going to sound like, but I'm just about to turn it on, so stick around.

"We won't." Hobbes said.

"Try to run off, and I'll strap you to the couch." Calvin growled. "It's not exploding this time. I've calculated everything through!"

"From the kid that got a D minus on his math." Socrates said.

"Shut up!" Calvin snapped. "And Hobbes, stop telling him what I make in math! Now then, for the moment of the future!"

Calvin placed the MTM onto the coffee table, and reached forward.

He pushed the ON button the front part.

There was a low humming noise emitting from the machine, signaling its activation, then... silence.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates stared at the MTM for a long throbbing moment.

"Uh, MTM?" Calvin asked into it. "It is I, your creator. How are you, uh, doing?"

There was a moment of silence.

Hobbes and Socrates exchanged glances.

Calvin continued to stare at it.

Then, he heaved a sigh.

"OK, maybe I don't have all the bugs worked out, but I..."

"'Right, dudes." MTM suddenly said. "How's it hangin'?"

Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates jumped in surprise.

"MTM!!!" Calvin shouted. "You're talking!!"

"It's alive!" Socrates shouted, in a Transylvanian accent. "ALIVE!!!!"

"Of course I'm talking." The MTM replied, ignoring Socrates. "You've installed a voice chip into me. What did you expect? A moo?"

The MTM's voice, however, was not at all the way Calvin, Hobbes, or Socrates had expected it to be like.

The voice was very laid back and bored, the way Jack the robot's voice was. However, unlike Jack, the MTM had a thick British accent.

"So, Calvin, what did you do about the Main Menu, and such?" Hobbes asked. "Even if the MTM is useable, again, we still can't access the menu."

"Oh, can't we?" Calvin asked, raising his eyebrows. "MTM? Main Menu, please."

There was a moment of silence.

"What's in it for me?" the machine asked, finally.

"You not being cut in half with a machete." Calvin growled, his eyes narrowing.

"Hmm, sounds reasonable." MTM replied. "Very well."

There was a moment of silence.

Then, the CD player beeped.

"Welcome to MTM 2.0. To access any feature, simply repeat its name. Time Travel, Defense Feature, Flashlight, Force Field, Telephone, Inventory, Miscellaneous."

"There you have it!" Calvin grinned. "Everything is much more easily accessible, now. Instead of the holographic touch screen technology I used to have, which was very time consuming, everything is voice activated, now. All of the features I use the most are in the Main Menu, and everything else is in Miscellaneous."

"Fascinating." Socrates admired. "So this is a full fledged upgrade?"

"You betchya." Calvin grinned. "Out with the old in the new! Nothing can possibly go wrong with this!"

"Ah, I beg to differ." MTM replied.

"Wow, we have so much in common." Hobbes said.

Calvin rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, up in Yellowstone National Park, something else of significance was occurring.

"AH HA!!!" Brainstorm shrieked, throwing his arms into the air. "I'VE DONE IT!!! I'M A GENIUS!!!"

Jack, Dr Brainstorm's robot assistant, was leaning against the wall, filing his fingernails.

Which is weird, because robots don't have fingernails.

He didn't even look up at Dr Brainstorm's outburst.

"Well," He said, sarcastically. "What does this ingenious invention do?"

"No, no, I haven't invented anything, today!!" Dr Brainstorm yelled. "I've been doing some research on this Calvinfellow and his robotic tiger!!"

Jack sighed, heavily.

"And after much research and calculating," Brainstorm whirled back around to the screen. "I have determined that this punk kid's most powerful invention is THE ELECTRONIC SWISS ARMY KNIFE!!"

"Fascinating." Jack yawned. "You're talking about the MTM, right?"

"Yeah, whatever." Brainstorm said, typing a few things into his keyboard.

A rotating image of the MTM appeared on screen, and several subwindows opened up showing its interior structure, and labels for all its features.

"This device is perfect for allowing me to take over the world!" The mad scientist screamed. "It travels through time, it shoots lasers, it creates unconquerable force fields... Nothing can defeat it! And if I got a hold of it, I would be INVINCIBLE!!"

"Uh huh." Jack yawned. "Although, I thought we already knew all this. The MTM is obviously the strongest of Calvin's inventions."

"How are we supposed to know?" Brainstorm shot back. "For all we know, it could have been the weakest! RESEARCH, JACK!!! IT ALL PAYS OFF IN THE END!!!"

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Right. So tell me, Frank, what exactly is your bonehead plan for getting it?" He asked.

"IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!" Brainstorm screamed, hysterically. "And I'll have you know I have a brilliant plan to achieve my goal!!"

There was a small pause.

"You're going to kidnap Calvin and Hobbes and steal it, right?" Jack questioned.

Brainstorm stared at him.

"How did you know that?" He demanded. "Have you been reading my files! THOSE WERE TOP SECRET!!!!"

"It's not that hard to figure out, Frank." Jack replied.

"DR BRAINSTORM!!!" Brainstorm shot back at him. "And you can just yuk it up all you want, Jack!! I'm going to take over the Earth! Then you'll see!! THEY'LL ALL SEE!!!!"

And with that, Brainstorm held his head at a proud angle, and marched out of the room.

Jack didn't move.

Brainstorm came running back in.

"WHERE'S MY SLUSHY?!" He screeched, grabbing a bottle with the SONIC logo off of his desk.

Jack sighed, and rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, the MTM had been stationed on the front porch, as Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were all getting ready to play Calvinball.

"What is it that you are doing?" MTM asked, as Calvin came walking up to it wearing the black Calvinball mask.

"I'm getting ready to play, why?" Calvin asked, his brow furrowing. "We still have to wait for Andy and Sherman to get here, though."

"Play what?" MTM asked.

"Calvinball, what's it to you?" Calvin said, crossing his arms.

There was a moment of silence.

"Calvinball," MTM repeated.

"Right, Calvinball. Do you want to watch?"

"I'm guessing you named it?" MTM asked.

"Yeah, whatever. Do you want me to carry you to the Calvinball field?" Calvin demanded. "I don't have all day."

"Oh, I suppose I can humor you." MTM sighed. "Do take me to this Calvinball field."

"OK."

Calvin walked over, grabbed the MTM off the sidewalk, and walked off towards Sneer Hill with him.

Hobbes and Socrates were waiting for him in the big field at the base of Sneer Hill, also wearing black masks.

The field around them was covered in various items, each belonging to some different game.

There were flags, tennis rackets, baseball bats, wickets, frisbees and pool cues all over the place.

"Hmm, charming." MTM observed, scanning the field with his sensors.

"OK, Hobbes." Calvin said, ignoring Socrates. "I've put the MTM in charge of keeping track of our score."

"Nice." Socrates said.

Hobbes nodded.

"OK, Calvin, so, where's Andy and Sherman? We can't start without them."

"I don't know." Calvin said, setting the MTM onto a tree stump. "They said they'd be here. Andy really does like this game."

"We're here." Came a voice from behind them.

Calvin turned around.

Andy was walking towards them, Sherman held in his pocket.

"Hi, Calvin." Andy said. "Hobbes, Socrates."

"Hi, Andy." Calvin nodded.

"Greetings, Ando!" Socrates said, holding his hand upward in a friendly wave.

"Andy. Vermin." Hobbes said, crossing his arms.

Sherman glared at Hobbes as Andy put him down on the tree stump next to the MTM.

"OK." Calvin said. "Andy and I will be one team and Hobbes and that thing that he hangs around with can be the another team."

Socrates raised an eyebrow at Calvin.

"Who's going to be the flag thief, today?" Andy asked.

"Ooo! Oo! I am!" Socrates said, jabbing his hand to sky.

Calvin, Hobbes, and Andy stared at Socrates.

"Weren't your flag thief last time?" Andy asked.

"Yeah, so?" Socrates asked.

"I think I should be the flag thief today." Calvin said, stepping forward.

"What?!" Socrates demanded. "You can't be the flag thief! Every time we tag you, you claim you were in the No Tag Boomerang Place!"

"I was!" Calvin sniffed. "That zone is always moving and popping up in random parts of the field."

"Preposterous!" Socrates said. "You were never meant to be a flag thief! As for me..."

"If I may make a suggestion," MTM suddenly cut in. "How about there being no flag thief? Would that terribly affect the game play?"

Andy and Sherman jumped in surprise.

"AUGH!! What the heck..." Andy began. "Did the MTM just... just..."

"Talk?" MTM asked. "Yes, I did. I do believe Calvin will be able to explain the situation."

Andy and Sherman turned and stared at Calvin with wide eyes.

Calvin chuckled.

"Yes, Andy, I just upgraded the MTM." He said, crossing his arms. "The hologram feature was broken in that big Death Zone adventure, so instead of trying to fix it, which proved to be very time consuming and painful, I just installed a voice chip into him! Neat, huh?"

"Uh, sure..." Andy began. "But, are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Why wouldn't it?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, mostly because the MTM won't be able to do anything holographically anymore." Andy replied.

"Calvin, this is the dumbest thing you've ever done in your life!" Sherman yelled.

Calvin blinked.

"MTM, do you have any idea what their talking about?" He asked, turning to the CD player.

There was a pause.

"MTM?" Calvin repeated.

"Hmm?" The machine asked.

"Do you know what their talking about?!" Calvin shouted, getting impatient.

"No, I wasn't listening. Did I miss out on something?" MTM replied.

Calvin sighed.

"Forget it. OK, now the teams are set up, the MTM will be keeping score, let's begin!"

MTM sighed.

And so, the game began.

Socrates grabbed the Calvinball off the ground, and stared running towards the other end of the field with it.

"Alright!" Socrates yelled, leaning forward on one foot onto the grass. "I have entered the Invisibility Zone! Now, none of you can tackle me for the next five minutes!"

"I thought the Invisibility Zone was on the other end of the field." Hobbes said, his brow furrowing.

"Well, it moved." Socrates grinned. "Now then,"

Socrates then began running along the field, grabbing flags out of the ground as he went.

Several minutes went by.

Calvin came hopping over to the MTM, which still sat on the tree stump.

Socrates was still running around the field, and his most recent decree when he entered the Wisdom Area was to make everyone hop on one leg, hold one hand behind their back, close one eye, and hold their head to their shoulder as to cover up one ear.

Right.

"What's the score, now?" He asked.

"7 to 1." MTM yawned.

"7 to 1?! Are you crazy?!" Calvin yelled, his head coming up, and his eye popping open. "Andy and I have been getting lots of scores!"

"Right. But the red tailed tiger leaped into the Diminishing place a few minutes ago and brought your score back down to one." MTM replied. "Remember?"

"Well, who asked you!" Calvin spat, whirling back around, and hopping back into the game.

MTM sighed.

Meanwhile, Dr Brainstorm and Jack were flying around in circles along Calvin's neighborhood.

Brainstorm was typing some things into his computer while Jack read his latest issue of Robots Weekly with his legs crossed in the passenger's seat.

"OK, Jack!" Brainstorm yelled. "All five of those punks are gathered together, performing some strange ritual known to us only as Cal-veen Ball."

"Uh huh." Jack replied, rolling his eyes.

"The Electronic Swiss Army Knife is also present with them! Which conveniently just makes everything easier!! Now, ready to hear the plan?"

"No."

"WHAT?!?!"

"I said, sure... whatever."

"Good."

Brainstorm plunged his hand into the glove compartment in front of Jack, and ripped out a rolled up blueprint.

He unspread it across the panel in front of him.

"Here's the plan, there are too many witnesses right now, so we have to wait punk and punker to go back into their house, alone! Then we'll..."

"You're referring to Socrates, Andy and Sherman as witnesses? " Jack interrupted.

"Shut up." Brainstorm spat. "Now then, after they're in the house, we'll move in, and land the Brainstorm rocket in the base of that grinning mountain over there."

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Then, of course, we'll have to wait for night to fall just to keep up with the drama, then we'll secure the area, kidnap Calvin and Hobbes, throw them in the dungeon, and use that Electric So Forth to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!"

Brainstorm then threw his head back, held his hands up, and laughed, diabolically.

"Whatever." Jack said, leaning back in his seat.

Later on, as Calvin, Hobbes, and the gang finished up their game of Calvinball, they began moving on to other things.

Andy and Sherman had gone back home, Hobbes and Socrates were downstairs watching a National Geographic Special on big cats, and Calvin was in his room at his desk, the MTM placed near him.

Calvin was currently fiddling the Mega-Shrinker 5000, trying to remove the wire from it, while the MTM observed, quietly.

For the first few seconds.

"What are you doing?" He demanded, looking down at the microphone in Calvin's hand.

"Well, I've just upgraded you haven't I?" Calvin asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why not get to work on all my inventions? I'm trying to update the Mega-Shrinker 5000 here, so that I don't have to plug it in to a headphone jack just to get it to work."

"Wireless in other words." MTM said.

"Right." Calvin said. "And it would be going quite smoothly if you would just shut up."

MTM sighed, and continued watching Calvin.

Calvin took a small pair of scissors, and slowly began cutting the wire off at the very top of the microphone.

MTM watched.

"Shouldn't you unplug the shrinker before you start that?" He asked, suddenly.

Calvin looked up.

"What are you talking about? It is unplugged."

"No it's not. It's plugged into the radio behind you." MTM replied.

"You know nothing about this machine, MTM. It's very byzantine and complicated. So just shut up, for a moment so I can..."

ZZZZZZZZEEAAAAAAAAAP!!!

"AAAAAUGGH!!"

Just as Calvin cut the wire, a large blast of electricity shot out, and struck Calvin.

Then...

ZEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

There was a moment of silence.

A three inch Calvin stood on top of his desk, trying to figure out what just happened.

Then, he turned a glare onto the giant MTM before him.

"MTM, why didn't you tell me I hadn't unplugged it, yet?"

MTM stared at him.

"Well, it doesn't matter, now." Calvin muttered. "Use the Manipulator Arms to get back up to size, again."

"I told you shouldn't have done that." The machine said, smugly.

"UNSHRINK ME!!!" Calvin screamed.

"Oh, very well."

There was blast of light, that almost blinded Calvin, and suddenly, electronic arms popped out of the tip of the MTM, making those classic robot noises as they moved, reached forward, and picked the Mega-Shrinker 5000 off the ground.

"And, uh, how exactly do you work this item?" MTM asked, pointing the end of the microphone at Calvin.

"Flip it to unshrink and push the button!" Calvin spat.

The MTM reached forward, flipped a switch on the microphone's neck, then pushed a small button at the bottom of the neck.

zeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEP!!!

Immediately, Calvin shot back to his original size.

"Why don't you go watch TV with Hobbes and Socrates for a while, huh?" Calvin demanded, grabbing the microphone from the MTM.

"You're welcome." MTM yawned.

"So, Mini whatever!" Socrates said, cheerfully, the MTM now sitting on the couch with the two tigers. "What would you like to watch?"

"What's on?" MTM asked.

"Well, we've just finished our big cats documentary, so we're pretty much open for any opinion." Hobbes said. "What is on, Socrates?"

Socrates began flipping through the guide.

"Well," He said. "We have a few anime cartoons on Cartoon Network, Boomerang, and that other kids channel. Those are usually what we watch when we want to riff something. Anime is really easy to make fun of!"

"Yeah, especially American anime." Hobbes nodded.

"America's pathetic attempt to be worse than Japan." Socrates grinned. "We also have Spongebob, Danny Phantom and Jimmy Neutron, and it looks like the All Pranking Channel is having a special on the history of that fake dollar bill and the string joke!"

"Uh huh." MTM replied. "Isn't anything good on?"

There was a pause.

"Well, I kind of assumed that Pranking Channels were good." Socrates replied.

"What's on BBC America?"

"BBC America?" Hobbes questioned. "Why there?"

There was a pause.

Socrates coughed into his hand.

"Oh," Hobbes said. "I see. Well, go see what's on BBC, Socrates."

"Very well," Socrates began flipping through some channels. "Looks like some special on British Comedians or something like that."

"Very nice." MTM said. "Shall we watch it?"

Hobbes and Socrates exchanged glances..

"Me?" Andy demanded, holding his hand to his chest in his open door. "Why do I have to babysit the MTM?"

"Because Calvin won't take him." Hobbes said. "Here ya go,"

Hobbes handed Andy the CD player.

Andy stared at it, as Hobbes ran off back to the house.

"Uh, hello?" He asked.

"Hello, yourself." MTM replied. "What are we doing?"

"Uh, I was about to begin my video game up." Andy said, looking around to make sure nobody caught him talking to a CD player.

"Very well." MTM said. "What are we playing?"

Andy set the MTM onto his coffee table, and sat down on his couch, turning his TV on.

"Well, I haven't really picked anything out, yet..." He began.

"Hmm, never played video games, myself. Personally, I think it's a big fat waste of time." MTM said.

Andy sighed.

"No, I will not watch Calvin's CD player." Sherman growled, using a tiny screwdriver to screw some screws into one of his inventions.

"Oh, come on, Shermie!" Andy said, placing the MTM onto Sherman's desk. "Calvin, Hobbes, and Socrates don't want to deal with him, and he's just criticizing how I'm playing my game."

"No." Sherman said.

"Well, I'm not taking him back, so he's being left in the lab, whether you like it or not." Andy said crossing his arms.

Sherman dropped his screwdriver, and he gritted his teeth.

"See ya, Shermie." Andy said, walking back up the stairs towards the livingroom.

MTM stared silently at Sherman for a moment, as the hamster ignored him, and continued with his work.

He took a small tube, and attached it to the metal cube in front of him.

He flipped a switch on his control panel, the machine started humming, and electricity began flowing into the box.

"Oh, don't do that." The machine said, suddenly, breaking Sherman's concentration. "The box is too compacted. With the amount of energy you're pumping into it, it's going to burst at any second."

Sherman glared at the MTM.

"I think I know what I'm doing. And besides, I don't take advice from media players!" He snapped, turning back to his work.

"It's going to explode on you." MTM said, blandly.

"Shut up!"

"Very well."

There was a moment of silence.

BLAM!!

"ACK!!"

Suddenly, metal went in all directions and yellow electricity flowed out through the room.

Sherman fell over onto the floor.

There was a moment of silence.

"I suppose this would be a bad 'I told you so' moment." MTM said in his usual bored voice.

Sherman's eyes narrowed, and his teeth gritted.

"I'm not taking him back!" Calvin yelled, as Sherman slid the CD player to his feet. "The guy's driving me nuts! How am I suppose to concentrate on my inventions with him trying to correct everything I do?!"

"You're problem. Deal with it." Sherman said, turning around, and walking back towards his house.

Calvin growled, and snatched the MTM off the ground.

Soon afterward, Socrates left and went back to his mansion for the night, chuckling to Hobbes about the big prank they had planned for tomorrow.

The night followed soon afterward.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack were still flying around Calvin's city, waiting for the right moment.

Or at least, Brainstorm was.

"OK, Jack, here it is!" The scientist yelled, rubbing his hands together. "The golden opportunity! After we get that Mini Time Electronic Swiss Army Machine, NOTHING can possibly stop us!!"

"Uh huh." Jack yawned. "Just as long as I don't have to do anything."

"Whatever." Brainstorm said, turning back to his computer. "We're beginning to descend, now, Jack! PREPARE FOR THE FUTURE!!!!"

"Right." Jack said, rolling his eyes.

Slowly, the rocket began lowering over Calvin's neighborhood. The coordinates were fixed on Calvin's house.

Ho boy...

Calvin and Hobbes were getting ready for bed at this moment.

Just as they were getting into bed, MTM spoke up.

"Don't suppose either of you need anything, do you?" he asked.

"No," said Calvin.

"Nothing? You sure?"

"Positive."

"You don't need a drink? Perhaps a reading lamp? How about a nice bowl of Life cereal?"

"MTM, do you want something?" Hobbes demanded.

"Not particularly. I'm just getting used to my voice. I think it's quite fetching, don't you think?"

"Yes, you're a regular BBC Rodeo Announcer," Calvin sighed. "Please, just be quiet for a while! I plan on waking up tomorrow during the AM!"

"I'll have you know that I chose this voice out of the millions that the voice chip had available because it was the voice of the greatest lover who ever lived!" MTM protested.

Calvin got up and walked over to him.

"If that what this guy sounds like, I'd hate to see what he looks like," he said angrily.

"You wha…?!" MTM started.

With that, Calvin pressed the OFF button on the MTM, finally turning it off.

"And you didn't do that earlier why…?" Hobbes demanded.

"It seemed cruel up until an hour ago," Calvin replied.

Hobbes nodded.

Just as they were getting ready to turn off the light, they heard a noise.

CLINK!

"What was that?" Calvin asked.

"I think something hit the window," said Hobbes, looking at the window that was right next to him.

CLINK!

Hobbes jumped as a small rock came up and hit the window.

"Hmmmm… My suspicions have been confirmed," he said.

He leaned over and opened the window.

DONK!

"OW!" he cried, rubbing his head.

Then, angrily, he picked up the alarm clock and hurled it back out the window.

Calvin watched him.

"Uh…I was gonna use that tomorrow," he said.

DING!

"OUCH!" a voice shouted. "It's raining alarm clocks, Jack! Mother Nature and Father Time are in cahoots!"

"I'll send them a message, Frank. Don't worry," said another voice.

"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!" Dr Brainstorm shouted, along with Calvin and Hobbes who were looking out the window with stunned expressions.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack looked up.

"Aha!" Brainstorm shouted. "I see you've decided to cooperate!"

"Did you throw rocks at our window?" Calvin demanded.

"And at me?" Hobbes added, pointing at his forehead.

"For this!"

Brainstorm pulled out his Servant Ray.

"Servant Ray! Capture them!" he ordered.

There was a pause.

Brainstorm looked confused for a moment.

"Oh, right," he said, remembering. "Servant Ray! DO NOT capture them!"

FWOOM!

A giant bag flew out and enveloped Calvin and Hobbes in one swoop.

"YES!" Brainstorm cheered.

As the bag had a cable on the end, Brainstorm started to tow them out of the room.

When they came to the window, Jack casually reached up and managed to catch them.

Brainstorm stared at him.

"Now why didn't you do that for me when I got trapped in that thing?" he demanded.

Jack merely shrugged.

"Whatever. Go get the Mini Time Whatchyamacallit!"

Jack, without a trace of emotion, extended his legs until he reached the window, and then he extended his arms to reach the MTM.

As he lowered himself down with it, Dr Brainstorm glared.

"THERE! SEE?! I TOLD YOU THAT WAS A GOOD FEATURE!" he shouted.

Jack rolled his eyes and handed him the MTM.

The bag was squirming.

"You couldn't have given us separate bags?!" Hobbes shouted.

Upon the arrival back at the lab at Yellowstone, Dr Brainstorm lugged Calvin and Hobbes over to the cell.

Jack was watching.

"By the way, Jack thanks for the help!" Dr Brainstorm said sarcastically.

"Don't think twice," Jack replied, holding a hand up. "Not that you ever think once, anyway."

"Shut it."

Dr Brainstorm opened the bag and let Calvin and Hobbes tumble out and into the cell.

"Hey, be gentle!" Hobbes complained. "I've got battle wounds!"

"Yeah," said Calvin sarcastically. "We don't want that can-opener cut to open up again."

Brainstorm slammed the cell door shut.

"Now then!" he said triumphantly. "I have you in my clutches! Now you're out of the way!"

"What do you plan to do?" Calvin asked, who was quite bored at this point.

"Jack? Give me the CD player," he ordered.

Jack handed the MTM to Dr Brainstorm.

Calvin stared.

"What are you doing with him?" he demanded.

"I'm going to… Wait; did you call this thing 'him'?"

"You call Jack 'him', don't you?" Calvin reasoned.

Brainstorm stared at Jack.

"Actually, he refers to me by two things," Jack said. "There's 'Jack' and 'you festering lump of scrap metal from Lazy Town'."

There was a pause.

"Anyway, I plan to use this electronic pancake to help me take over the world! It's the most perfect of all your inventions!"

"Mmm-hmmmm…," said Hobbes, rolling his eyes.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Brainstorm demanded.

"Nothing, I just happen to find all his inventions pointless and useless."

Calvin glared at him.

"Well, this one has the proper equipment for world domination!" Dr Brainstorm proclaimed, holding it high over his head. "I'm surprised you've managed to hold back the urge to rule the world yourself!"

Calvin shrugged.

"World domination isn't really my bag," he said simply.

"Really? You should try it sometime!"

"Yeah, look where it got him," said Jack.

"Yes, thank you."

"It got him the reputation as the weakest villain since Silly Rabbit of Trix cereal," Jack continued.

Calvin and Hobbes couldn't resist laughing at Brainstorm.

Brainstorm growled angrily and left the room, dragging Jack behind him.

Calvin sat down on the cell floor.

"What do we do now?" asked Hobbes.

"Well, with Brainstorm, it shouldn't take long for something or someone to help us. I just hope he doesn't hurt the MTM."

"Why not? It's just a machine."

"Yeah, but I feel really bad now. I gave it a personality! That makes him an individual now! Sometimes I think it's a cruel thing to do when you give a machine a personality. You become attached to it after a while."

"I personally don't care what he does it," Hobbes said, folding his arms.

Calvin stared at him.

"I wasn't being cute. I really hope he destroys it," Hobbes said, not looking at him.

"Oh come on! You can't possibly tell me you weren't just a little attached to him?"

"Not in the slightest. As far as I'm concerned, it's just CD player, and it should've stayed a CD player. Honestly, the Britts have the strangest vocabulary. What does 'git' even mean?!"

"Come on, Hobbes! What about Jack? He's a machine, and we've been considering him a friend, and he's about as useful as a banana peel!"

"That's different! He's endearing!"

Calvin rolled his eyes and lied down on the floor.

Dr Brainstorm was in his experimenting room. It was thanks to the thickness of the walls that what went on in this room hadn't blown up the entire lab.

Jack was in the corner, sipping a soda and leaning against the wall.

Brainstorm pulled the MTM out of his lab coat pocket.

"Alright!" he said. "I just have to figure out what's what, and then I can use it for my plans!"

Jack simply nodded.

"You just get to it there, Frank," he said, leaving the room.

"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!"

Jack left the room and shut the door.

Dr Brainstorm focused his attention on the MTM.

"Okay," he said. "Let's see what we have here…"

He pondered to himself.

Then he noticed something on the front.

It was the ON button.

"Excellent! World Domination, here I come!" he cheered.

He pressed the button.

The MTM whirled back into life.

"Testing…testing…one, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, rock?" MTM said, clearing his voice.

Brainstorm was stunned.

"ACK! IT SPEAKS!!"

There was a pause.

Finally, MTM spoke again.

"You're not Calvin," he commented.

"Um…no, I am not," said Brainstorm, approaching the MTM cautiously.

There was a pause.

"Oh yes, I remember now. You're that Brainstorm bloke, aren't you?"

"Er…yeah."

"Right, sorry, mate. Didn't recognize you for a bit there. You weren't screaming at the nice robot when I came in."

Brainstorm soon regained his confidence and spoke to him.

"Yes, yes. Very good. Now then, I plan to use you to rule the world!"

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"All right."

"Ah, cooperation! EXCELLENT! Now then, how do I operate you?"

MTM didn't say anything.

"I asked you a question! ANSWER!"

"I'm sorry, but access has been denied," MTM replied.

"What?! Don't give me that! I DEMAND ACCESS!" Brainstorm shouted.

"I'm afraid I'm not in the mood," MTM replied. "You'll have to access it yourself."

Brainstorm pouted.

"Fine! How do I do that?"

"Well, you'd have to access the holographic main menu options."

"Right!"

Brainstorm looked desperately at the small buttons on the rim around the MTM.

He stared at them for a long time.

Then he finally pressed the Volume Increase button.

BRZAP!!

Dr Brainstorm was hit by a laser, and he was sent hurtling into the wall.

"OUCH!" he shouted.

"That was the laser button," MTM said casually.

"Yes, I gathered that," Brainstorm grunted, getting to his feet.

He marched back over to the MTM.

"Okay, which button is it?!" he demanded, not wanting to get hurt again.

"For the holographic menu?"

"YES!!"

"There isn't one."

"WHAT?!?"

"Well, there was one, but it was damaged, and it was replaced with voice command," said MTM.

"Oh."

There was a pause.

Then he went berserk.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?!?" Brainstorm screamed, pulling at his hair.

"What, and spoil your tea?"

"ERGH! Main Menu!" Dr Brainstorm screeched.

"Access denied," MTM said.

"BUT I SAID MAIN MENU!!!"

"You don't have access. Only Calvin has access to it."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHHHH!!!"

Brainstorm slammed a fist down on the MTM.

It struck several buttons.

"Oop! Smooth one, Doctor Dippy," said MTM.

"WHAT NOW?!?"

"You've activated the Attack Option."

There was a pause.

"Uh…what's the Attack Option?" Brainstorm asked nervously.

Then there was a whirring noise.

Dr Brainstorm slowly backed away.

"Uh-oh."

Outside, Jack was reading a book on the couch.

BRAZAM! BAM! ZAP! CRASH! BAP! POW! PEW! KRACK! KAZAM! KABOOM! BASH! KABLOOIE! BRAK! KABAM! ZOOSH! FWOOM! KAKRACK! BAMMY! ZAM! KABAP! KARASH! SWEESH! DOO-DOO-DOO-DOOOOO! KASMASH! BOOOM!

Jack scratched his head and continued reading.

Dr Brainstorm, now a black charred mess with his lab clothes burnt off, stood stiff as a board for a minute, and then collapsed on the floor.

MTM simply sat there.

"I'll have to have that looked into," he said.

A few minutes later, Jack reentered the cell Calvin and Hobbes were sitting in.

They looked up from their card game.

"Oh, hey. What happened?" Calvin asked.

"Eh. The MTM bloom him to bits," said Jack, opening the door. "Frank said something along the lines of 'It just wouldn't shut up'."

Calvin and Hobbes left the cell.

"Thanks," said Hobbes.

"Oh, don't thank me," said Jack. "Thank MTM. For a CD player, he's a pretty cool guy."

Calvin picked up MTM.

"How'd you do it?" he asked.

"He activated the Attack Option," said MTM.

"You don't have an Attack Option."

"I know. I just wanted to hurt him somehow. Bit of fun."

Calvin and Hobbes sighed.

"Well, MTM, it seems as though you've saved us, in your quirky ways," Calvin said.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for doubting you," Hobbes said reluctantly. "Now let's go home. I've got stuff to do back home."

They said goodbye to Jack and left.

Jack then picked up a broom.

"Now, alls that's left to do is clean up Frank," he said.

And he entered the experimenting room.

The next day, Calvin and Hobbes were at home.

Calvin had decided to let MTM keep the voice chip.

In fact, the two were working together when Hobbes burst in.

"CALVIN! COME QUICK!" he shouted. "SOCRATES IS IN TROUBLE!"

"Good," said Calvin casually.

There was a pause as Calvin continued working and Hobbes stared at him.

"Oh come on, Calvin! I can't do this myself, and Andy and Sherman aren't here!" Hobbes wailed.

Calvin simply shook his head.

"Oh, come on, Calvin," MTM said. "It might be a bit of fun. You get a chance to Socrates in pain."

Calvin considered this.

"Oh, very well. Come on."

Calvin picked up MTM and followed Hobbes.

"Quick! To the Calvinball field!" Hobbes said.

They ran to the field, and upon arrival, Calvin started out to it.

But as he walked, he failed to notice a string he stepped on.

This triggered a dart gun to fire.

The dart suddenly zipped past Calvin.

"What the…?" Calvin cried. "MTM, Main Menu! Select Option Five!"

"Uh-huh," said MTM, doing so.

The dart struck a target, which had a match taped to the top.

"Aim me at the sky," MTM said.

The target fell, causing the match to strike a tree and catch fire.

Calvin couldn't see any of this.

"Processing…," MTM said casually.

The lit match lit the fuse on a toy rocket.

"Processing…," MTM said again.

SWISH!

From behind Calvin where he couldn't see it, the rocket took to the air.

"Processing…completed."

"Well?" Calvin asked.

The rocket flew all the way to the other end of the field.

"Take two steps to the right," MTM said.

Calvin did so.

Just then, Socrates appeared.

"HEY!" he shouted.

He started running towards Calvin.

Calvin saw him.

"Socrates! There you are!" he said, not moving. "Hobbes said you had a problem! What is it?"

The rocket landed on the other end of the field, landing directly on another piece of string.

Just when Socrates reached Calvin, a trap door opened up under him, where Calvin had been just a moment ago.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" Socrates screeched.

Calvin watched as Socrates disappeared through the trap door.

SPLUT!

Calvin stared.

"Ew…," he said. "What is it?"

"Either mayonnaise or Elmer's Glue," MTM commented. "How many trap doors do you see in a field, anyway?"

Calvin laughed down the trap.

"Undermined by your own prank, eh, Socrates?" he shouted. "Good for me I installed a Prank Sensory chip into MTM!"

"Jape of the year," MTM said.

Socrates could be heard growling.

"C'mon, MTM," Calvin said, walking away. "Let's have a cup of tea, shall we?"

"Delightful."

The End

Voice Work:

Pamela Segall Adlon: Calvin
Tom Hanks: Hobbes
Norman Lovett: MTM
Neil Crone: Dr Brainstorm
Michael Brandon: Jack
Ryan Stiles: Socrates
Andrew Lawrence: Andy
Colin Mochrie: Sherman

Coming up Next: Mission: Socrates