"Don't hold to anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love."

"You are unhappy, Cecilia."

I shivered and gasped as I felt Ryan wrap his too cold arms around my waist. I wasn't expecting that gesture from my new boyfriend of barely two days. That was a little bold of Ryan I thought. But I didn't mind. In my head, I was bursting with sudden joy because Ryan sensed that I was upset. Well, he knew I was. Everyone did. Everyone heard me boo-whoing the night before. Stupid, super sensitive vampire hearing. The glorious feeling of Ryan Middleton grasping onto my lower self lasted for only a few seconds. I went straight back to being sulkly and depressed. I wasn't myself whatsoever. Something was missing. I hated to admit what that something was. Or should I say, who that someone was. I sniffed a little. Ryan tightened his grip on me.

Ryan remained silent for a while. We stood on the porch, watching as the late morning turned into the early afternoon. Light clear rain was falling from the gray sky, recovering from the horrible storm that occured the night before. My eyes felt exhausted. They looked really red and puffy. Embarrassing, much? I looked terrible, the skin on my face paler than usual. Emmett commented that I looked like I had gotten an allergic reaction from eating shelfish. He was trying to make me laugh, but failed miserably. Esme and Mother threw Emmett a look while Father hissed at him. I ignored Emmett. I simply stared out the window, trying to zone everyone out. It didn't work. Evenually, I got up unannounced and started to walk out of the room. I felt eyes pierce through me as I began to exit. Tanya, Irina, and Kate whispered about me on one of the couches, wondering what my problem was. A fresh new batch of wet tears smeared down my face, a pitiful sobbing noise escaped from my weak mouth. The sisters stopped whispering as soon as this happened. I reluctantly sprinted toward the front door and wrenched it open, slamming it with all of my might once I was outside. Then, I collapsed to my knees and began to cry as light raindrops fell from the sky.

I had the sudden urge to go nap. I had the worst night of sleep imaginable. I yawned hugely, covering my mouth. Ryan let one of his hands go from my waist and moved it to my shoulder.

"Do you wish to sleep?" Ryan asked in gentle whisper.

I couldn't speak, so I just nodded.

"Do you want me to carry you up to your room?"

I stiffened. My room wasn't exactly very tidy at the moment. Esme wasn't going to approve of that. I always kept my room considerablely clean, but recently it had been looking unacceptable, what with clothes and magazines and bras and other random crap nearly all around the floor. Oh, gosh, Dad saw all of that when he came to check on me. How embarrassing, for both me and him. Sigh.

I nodded a no.

"Of course," said Ryan as he was freed my small waist. He kept one hand on my shoulder, though. He turned me around so that I could face him. Ryan had a torn expression on his handsome face. It looked similar to the one Father had worn when he saw me crying. Ryan carefully stroked one of my rosy cheeks with his thumb.

"What is wrong?" His voice was soft with concern.

Ryan's stroking did not help me. I felt a tiny teardrop fall from my right eye, tracing down my face. Ryan whipped it away with his cool thumb. He really wasn't making this easier for me. I wanted to scowl at him and tell him to leave me alone, but that would be rude and I would regret that. Ryan was only trying to make me feel better, like every boyfriend should when his girlfriend is feeling down in the dumps.

"If you want to tell me, go ahead," whispered Ryan, pausing from the soft stroking. He rested his cool thumb on my face. "But if not, that is perfectly fine, Cecilia." Ryan smiled, dazzling me.

"Feeling any better, kiddo?"

I devoured a pint of strawberry flavored ice cream and was finishing off a bag of Doritos. Curled up on the couch, I sat next to Alice while watching a click flick that we found randomly on television. Alice was enjoying herself thoroughly as she painted my toenails a bright blue color as I "Ate my troubles away." That's how Alice put it, anyway. It was just us two while everyone else was out hunting. Actually, Jasper was home. He didn't want to intrude in our girl-ish activities. Jasper stayed with Alice and I for a while just to make me feel content and calm. Father probably demanded him to do this so I wouldn't be upset all night long. The good, happy feeling still lingered with me, and it wasn't because of Jasper's doing.

I sighed as Alice finished painting my left pinky toe. She blew on it a little bit.

"Much better," I admited, tossing a Dorito into my mouth.

And truthfully, I really was.

Alice shot me a radiant smile that reached up to her eyes.

"Excellent!" Alice sang, knowing that she had done her job well. "I told you that all you really needed was some delish comfort food." Alice stuck her tongue out at me. I returned the gesture.

"Oh, yeah, because you know all about comfort food and how it solves every teenage girl's problems," I joked. A strange noise let loose from my thoart. A laugh. "I had such a great date tonight with Ben and Jerry," I added, pointing to the carton of ice cream on the floor, laughter still escaping from my thin lips. "There always here when I need them."

Alice laughed along with me as she rolled her golden eyes. She dipped the brush into the blue polish. I popped another chip into my mouth, munching and crunching contently.

"You're back to yourself for sure, Cecilia. Won't you tell me what was wrong?" Alice added, abruptly looking serious. She started painting one of my toes again. "You've got me very worried ever since you've stopped appearing in my mind..." she trailed off, concentrating on the tiny nail brush in her fragile fingers that moved lightly on my middle nail.

Alice wasn't able to have visions about me and that included me anymore. This wasn't explainable. None us understood why. Father was exceptionally nervous about me deceasing from Alice's head. He cared about my safety so much that it should be illegal. Father worries himself sick over the littlest scratch or ache that I get. Mom worries, too. Once I graduated from school, they wouldn't have to worry so much. I'll be one of them. I'll be a blood thirsty, dazzlingly beautiful vampire. I'll truly be part of the Cullen family.

I grimanced. I couldn't tell Alice the truth behind my meloncholy mood. My secret love triangle that I resolved. I knew who I should belong to. No one would know about that incident besides me, myself, and I. It was silent between Alice and I, the only noise came from the movie that was playing on the plasma screen TV. Alice continued to paint my toenails, waiting anxiously for my response to her question. She let me take my time, which was kind of her.

"You don't have to tell me, Cee," Alice said.

By the sound of Alice's soprano voice, I knew instantly that she meant that. She looked up from my foot and gave me a quick smile, then returned to tending my bright blue toenails.