A Month of Potter

by MPPMaraudergirl

When sixth year James Potter realizes Lily Evans doubts the sincerity of his feelings for her, he constructs a plan to ask Lily out every day for an entire month in hopes that she will finally understand the truth about his very real and very strong feelings.

3. Days 22-31

A Month of Potter

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and everything related belongs first, and foremost, to JK Rowling, and then to her partnerships with Bloomsbury, Scholastics, Warner Bros., etc.

Better Summary: When sixth year James Potter realizes Lily Evans doubts the sincerity of his feelings for her, he constructs a plan to ask Lily out every day for an entire month in hopes that she will finally understand the truth about his very real and very strong feelings.

Posted: 10/03/14

Author's Note: Thanks for the support, guys! I appreciate the feedback. Also, ahem, any poetry you may read in this chapter is purposefully bad. (Come find me on tumblr – mppmaraudergirl.)

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Day 22

The Sundays that followed trips to Hogsmeade were always quiet ones, similar, in fashion, to the Sundays that followed Quidditch matches. Lily and her friends, who had already finished their homework, lounged around their dormitory, carefree, with the window open admitting a nice breeze, while the wireless hummed merrily from Mary's night-stand. Through the haze, Lily listened vaguely at the gossip Mary regaled them from the latest edition of Witch Weekly.

Lily felt her eyes go heavy, and was moments from succumbing to a pleasant late-afternoon nap when Marlene shook her shoulder.

"You can't go to sleep, Lily, you have to get ready for Professor Slughorn's dinner!"

Lily swore, her eyes popping back open. With her mind finally at ease from school work or her other extracurricular activities (like saying no to dates) she'd almost forgotten she agreed to go to Professor Slughorn's dinner party. Though she was never particularly thrilled to go to Slug Club events, today she was even less enthused. But she went, dutiful as she was.

"Miss Evans!" Professor Slughorn greeted upon her arrival, "so pleased you could make it!"

Lily fixed her best smile as she crossed the threshold of the Potions Masters' office. Though she had been there a multitude of times over the previous three years, Lily never quite felt as comfortable there as she should have. This was in part due to the overly-boisterous Professor Slughorn, who often dragged her around to meet people, and also because she was the only Gryffindor in her year to ever attend, or be invited, as far as she knew.

After spending fifteen minutes of tedious conversation with Professor Slughorn and a reluctant Hufflepuff fifth year that Lily quickly forgot the name of, she gracefully extracted herself from the conversation and found sanctuary by the refreshment table. Though she was a sitting duck by the place most people visited, it gave her an unobstructed view that allowed for a quick escape should anyone ambush her. Except—

"All right, Evans?" a familiar voice behind her asked; she all but groaned, continuing to nurse her drink as if she hadn't heard him, having realized her escape attempts would be futile. But when he came to her side, towering over her, she had no choice but to acknowledge him.

"What are you doing here, Potter?"

He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment before shrugging, "Knew you'd be here."

She could feel her face warm in betrayal. "Since when did you join the Slug Club?" she diverted, and her eyes narrowed when he responded with a laugh.

"Slughorn's been asking Sirius and me to come for years. Though, by the end of fourth year, we decided to start getting detentions every time he asked so we'd have an excuse not to come. I think he caught on and gave up asking for a bit."

"You're telling me you purposefully got detentions to avoid Professor Slughorn's dinners and parties?"

"Yes."

Lily couldn't help but snort into her drink. "Well, that's pretty brilliant, Potter. Or mad. Haven't made up my mind which yet."

"Well when it comes to Sirius and me, those two concepts seem to align fairly often," he told her, his smile at her snort turning into a smirk.

After refilling his cup, and offering to refresh hers, they fell into silence. Still standing side-by-side they vaguely watched the other members of the Slug Club in their various discussions. Both were grateful to find Slughorn heavily involved in a conversation with a Slytherin seventh year, as neither were keen to converse with him themselves. After five minutes of people-watching, James noticed the waiters swooping over to the table, beginning to set it up for their dinner, and he turned to Lily.

"Want to get out of here, Evans?"

"What?"

He turned to look at her fully now, "Do you want to get out of here?"

"I can't, I told Professor Slughorn I would be here. I couldn't just leave, he would notice and—Potter why are you laughing?"

"Oh ye of little faith, Evans. Do you think I don't have an idea? Me? The King of Diversions—!" Lily snorted again in her drink, momentarily distracted from her wonderment by his confidence "—but really, Evans. Do you want to stick around this sorry excuse for a party, or are we going to get you out of here?"

Lily cocked an eyebrow at him, her eyes studying his excited expression. "What's your plan?"

"Is that a yes?"

"What's—"

"Yes or no! Now. Decide."

"Potter—"

"Evans, you're a Gryffindor. You don't want to be here. Now take a risk with me. Yes or no?"

"Yes, but—"

"Leave it to me," he told her, handing her his drink before ducking behind her and out of sight. She turned to watch him through the crowd but found that he had already gone. Her brow furrowed in confusion. There couldn't have been more than twenty students there, but he concealed himself among them with ease. She was still marveling at that fact when there was a loud noise from the corner of the room, rendering everyone quiet and drawing all eyes toward it.

The door to Professor Slughorn's office had opened with a loud bang as it slammed into the stone wall behind it. Two girls near the door let out high pitched screams as a rat came scurrying into the room, followed closely by a great black dog. The rat was squealing noisily as it tore around the room, the dog's thundering paws closely behind it in its chase. But the rat was quick in diverting directions and the dog, stumbling in its attempt to catch the rat, cracked into the edge of the dining table with its hind legs. With a thundering boom, the table legs gave way and the plates and goblets filled with food and mead tumbled onto the floor, scattered and broken.

Professor Slughorn's face was blotchy and red, a mixture of rage and confusion at the sudden appearance of the animals that had his dinner splattered on the floor and his guests running around in panic.

Lily watched on, her own face torn between amusement and confusion, until suddenly a hand pulled at her wrist. She turned on the spot to find a grinning James Potter, his hair messier than it had been before. He was clearly delighted.

"Let's go!" he beckoned, gently tugging at her hand. "I think Sluggy will be a bit too preoccupied to notice your absence now, yeah?"

Throwing a look behind her, she allowed James to tow her out of the room. Pleased as she was to be leaving, she was reluctant to tear her eyes from the scene as the dog was attempting to eat the fallen food while it continued running after the rat.

She was still laughing loudly when James had finally dropped her hand, three floors above Professor Slughorn's office. James had long since joined in, in his frenzy to put distance between them and Slughorn, but when they stopped he allowed himself to watch her laugh. Her cheeks were pink and there were tears in her eyes.

"That was—that was—wow. What was that?" she asked, wiping the tears from her eyes as she finally regained control over her laughter.

"I told you I could get you out of there," he replied smugly. He dug his hands into his pockets as they began walking back to their common room.

"But how? How did you get that rat? Or that dog?"

James' hand slipped out of his pocket and into his hair at her question. "I'm the King of Diversions, don't you remember?"

She paused now, her eyes narrowing slightly, as they were inclined to do when looking at James Potter. Especially a guilty James Potter.

"How?" she repeated again, the laughter quickly leaving her face.

"Don't you mind."

"But I do mind, Potter."

His smile faded into a frown to match hers. "I have my secrets, Evans. You might think I'm just a transparent toe-rag, but there's more to me than that."

She bit her lip at these words. Secrets? James Potter had secrets? Well, that wasn't entirely surprising. Arrogant though he might be, he seemed smart enough to keep certain things to himself, like secrets about his pranks, or girls he's snogged in the past. But there was something in his tone that indicated this was a secret of an entirely different matter altogether. The fire in his eyes solidified her assumption: this secret was untouchable.

"Though," he began, the mischievous glint returning to his eyes, "I might be inclined to clue you in if you go to the next Quidditch match with me. Ravenclaw and Slytherin next month. It'll be a riot."

"I doubt that very much," she replied shortly, turning to walk down the corridor again. They weren't too far from their own common room.

"Doubt what? Trust me, Evans, the match will be a laugh. But it's still Quidditch—"

"No, I mean I doubt you'd tell me your secrets even if I did go out with you," she reiterated over her shoulder to him. "So no, Potter, using my minimal intrigue will not further your agenda."

"I might surprise you one day, Evans," he told her, but his voice was distant and she turned to find he had stopped walking beside her. "I just might."

She rolled her eyes in response, before continuing to walk again, untroubled by her recent lack of companionship.

"Oh and Evans?" he paused, waiting for her to acknowledge him again. "You're welcome. Though next time you get invited to another Slug Club party, I'll save us both time and polite chit-chats, and get you a detention. How's that sound?"

Grateful to be nearly to the end of the corridor and easily able to stifle her laugh, she called back, "Don't make me hex you, Potter."

She could still hear his own chortle as she rounded the corridor, and found herself joining in.

Day 23

Tap, tap, tap.

Tap, tap, tap.

Tap, tap, tap.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT?!" came the shriek of barely-awake Mary Macdonald, as she thrust her bed-hangings open. "It is too bloody early for this," she seethed as her eyes searched the room for the culprit. Finally she spotted the tawny owl perched on their window and quickly moved to grant it entrance.

The owl immediately flew over to Lily's bed-side table, knocking a few of her belongings to the floor as it landed. Groaning, Lily turned over to see the familiar owl.

"Who is sending you mail at this God forsaken hour?" Mary grumbled, slouching her way over to Lily's bed. Lily herself didn't answer, as she began to read the parchment she had detached from Owl Sirius' leg.

Dearest Lily,

Your beauty is unparalleled

You must have me under a spell

It all started in 3rd year when you loaned me a quill

And the passion I have for you remains still

But we are distant and apart

And it is tearing at my heart

I think I found the potion cure

But I need your help to know for sure

So if you could please whip me up a batch

And accompany me to the Quidditch match

I'm certain you'll find the only way

That I'll be able to grow old some day

Lily, I assure you it'll be quite a laugh

Watching Slytherin's defeated wrath

So, I ask, Evans go out with me

I assure you I'm pleasant company

PS

And if you still doubt my preferences

Never fear, for I have references

In her half-asleep state Lily reread the poem three times, each time apparently solidifying her theory that she was in fact still sleeping. However, Mary's persistent mumblings brought her back to reality, and she rose instantly to dress.

Though she herself wasn't much of a morning person, she knew there were plenty of students who were already down in the Great Hall eating breakfast, and she had a feeling there would be one in particular she wanted to find. Ignoring Mary's confused protest she tore out of the dormitory and when she arrived in the Great Hall, she found her target instantly.

"Potter this is by far the worst attempt at poetry I have ever had the misfortune of reading," Lily told him, matter-of-factly as she slammed the parchment down next to him at the table.

"Don't go telling Sirius that. He's right proud of the work we put into that you know," James said grinning, his voice holding back laughter. At this Lily bit back her own laugh, her mind immediately traveling to the boys' dormitory – imagining he and Sirius crouched over the parchment working to find words that rhymed.

"Did you honestly think this was going to work?" Lily wondered, leaning her knee on the bench next to him. His smile remained wide.

"No, I can't say I did. But we had a pretty excellent time writing it, and it got you out of bed earlier than I've ever seen you. So that's got to count for something, right?" He paused, waiting for a reaction from her, but when she remained unrelenting, he continued, "Come have a bit of toast, Evans. Might as well eat while you're here."

After looking at him for a long moment, Lily sighed and plopped down next to him. "It's so early," she whined, grabbing a slice of toast and some jam.

James simply smiled at her as she sat there next to him, almost touching him, quietly nibbling at her toast. Yes, he decided, it definitely counted for something.

Day 24

She heard the reverberations of the striding footsteps on the floor before she saw them. Closing her eyes in anticipation, she leaned back on the starch white sheets, her hair splaying wildly behind her.

"What did you do?" the voice accused, mere feet from her now.

"What are you doing here, Potter?" she questioned softly. She was in no mood to bicker with him, especially not in the Hospital Wing with her right arm bandaged. "Madam Pomfrey just sent away Marlene and Mary, how did you slip by her?"

"I didn't," he answered easily, pulling up a chair beside her bed, "I can just sweet talk her better than McKinnon and Macdonald can. We have a history, you know? I beat myself up during Quidditch and she yells at me like my mum would. It's been working well for the past three years or so."

"Well bully for you."

"But that's beside the point," he continued hurriedly. "What did you do?"

She finally sat up again and turned to look at him, brandishing her bandaged arm under his nose. "I burnt my arm in Potions today. Which you would have known had you bothered showing up."

"I over-slept," James defended instantly, eying her arm wearily. "Not much I could've done for you even if I were there, though."

Lily sighed, leaning back against the pillow once more. "That's true. I just want to get out of here!" Her eyes casted a look over to Pomfrey's closed office door, as if willing her to come out and release her.

"How long are you in for?" His solemn tone almost made her smile. It was as if they were prisoners locked behind bars, sympathetic to each other's criminal sentences.

"Don't know. She wants me to get some rest but I'm fine!" Lily said, her voice rising at the end in an attempt to have it carry beyond the closed office door.

James chuckled. "There will be no reasoning with her, I assure you. I'm just now getting somewhere with her, and, believe me, I put in some serious time with her to get here."

"Once again, bully for you!"

James' smile didn't waver, even with her crossing her arms and staring him down. He rose from the chair, sliding it roughly across the floor so it skidded with an unpleasant screech. "Well, I'm going to get to class now that I know you are in perfect health." He turned to walk toward the door, before calling over his shoulder. "Get some rest, will you? Pomfrey knows what she's doing. If she thinks sleeping will help cure your arm faster, you should try to get a few hours in."

Lily merely waved in response, but even as she did, she felt her eyelids begin to droop. She nuzzled further into the pillow, shimmying the sheets around all but her bandaged arm, and felt herself drift off.

A few hours later, she awoke, wildly disoriented and momentarily unaware of where she was. The sight of her arm brought her back to her senses, and she was delighted to find the faint sting of the burn had completely vanished over the time she spent sleeping. Stifling a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head, she turned to see a small bag sitting on the bed-side table. After looking around to see if Madam Pomfrey was nearby, she reached over and carefully dropped the bag into her lap. Atop it she found a small slip of parchment.

Evans,

I'm glad you are resting. I stopped by with Macdonald and McKinnon at lunch but you were out cold. Figured you would enjoy this when you woke up, as the food Pomfrey serves isn't fit to feed to flobberworms. Trust me, I know from experience. After my bad Quidditch fall in fourth year, Sirius and I nicked some food and tried to feed it to a flobberworm.

Anyway, enjoy.

J Potter

PS Speaking of Quidditch, are you sure you don't want to go to the Eagles vs Snakes game with me?

Yes, she was quite sure she didn't, even as she pulled open the bag to find meat pies and roasted potatoes that made her mouth water. Averse though she was to his proposal, she was grateful he had thought to bring her dinner. Not bad at all, Potter she thought before silently digging in to her delicious food.

She was nearly finished with her second potato when she heard the echo of footsteps approaching. Hastily stuffing the food back into the sack and thrusting it under the bed sheets, she turned to watch the door. She visibly relaxed when she saw two smiling faces appear.

"Thank Merlin it's you two," she managed to say before digging back into the food once more.

"Were you expecting someone else?" Mary questioned, coming to her bed side. "A certain admirer perhaps?"

Lily rolled her eyes, missing the look exchanged between her two friends as they sat down near her bed. "Was hoping it was Madam Pomfrey here to discharge me, but I'll settle for you two."

Mary responded with a noise of mock-chagrin. "Way to make us feel loved, Evans."

"Where'd you get that dinner anyway?" Marlene asked, though Lily had an inkling she already knew where and how and from whom.

"Your new best mate left it for me," she told her, coolly. "But I expect you knew that already." She sent a pointed look at the two of them, which they returned unabashedly. "He left a note saying you lot came to visit earlier."

"We did," Marlene confirmed. "And he told us he'd already seen you before that."

"Hmm," was all Lily felt compelled to reply to that.

"He was concerned," Marlene tried again, watching as Lily looked pointedly down at her food.

"I can't see why," Lily answered, shrugging. "It was just a small burn from the potion, which Madam Pomfrey fixed rather quickly. I expect she'll discharge me after she gets back from supper."

"He's concerned because he fancies you, Lily."

"He told you that?" Lily asked, looking up from her food to properly gaze at Marlene, her eyebrow arched.

"No, he didn't have to. We already know he does," Marlene explained simply. "We can tell by the way he talks—"

"Marlene," Lily cut in, her voice calm and calculated. "It's James Potter we're talking about. This is all just a game to him. A rather long and ridiculous game, but nothing more—"

"How can you still think that after what he's done?" Mary questioned, her mouth gaping.

Lily's brow furrowed. "Whose side are you on?"

Mary let out a derisive noise, "We're your best mates, Lily, but we're not blind. We're on your side and always have been, but we aren't going to ignore the truth."

"We're not saying he's the brightest bloke in the world," Marlene added, once she realized Lily wasn't rushing to interrupt. "But he's trying. We honestly think he's just trying to get your attention."

"In awful ways," Mary amended.

"Yes, some awful ways…but then the others…" Marlene allowed her voice to drift off, as Lily turned her attention back to her dinner.

The three girls sat quietly as Lily continued to eat the rest of her potato and then another meat pie. She attempted and failed to force her mind to think about anything besides James Potter, and some of the intricate ways he had asked her out. She knew he had a knack for creativity, having seen many pranks he and his friends had pulled over the years, but this was an entirely new level. She wouldn't go so far as thinking his antics were a prank in themselves, but it was entirely unbelievable to think that he actually fancied her. Boys and girls like him and her, they just didn't work. That's what her gut had been telling her for years, and what her friends had agreed with at the end of the previous year when he had the audacity to ask her out after their Defense O.W.L. And a few kind proposals weren't going to alter the fact that whatever had changed their minds, couldn't possibly change hers.

Finally satisfied, she wiped her mouth, closed the bag, and let her eyes fall back to her friends. They had been watching her, expectantly.

"I don't want to talk about him anymore," she told them simply. "Whether he fancies me or not is inconsequential, and that's that."

"But…" Mary said slowly, before realizing defeat and shutting her mouth.

After a few painful minutes of forced conversation, Madam Pomfrey finally arrived to inspect Lily's arm. Mary and Marlene waited by the door patiently until Lily was discharged. They didn't speak of James for the rest of the night but he crossed each of their minds – even Lily's, much to her dismay.

Day 25

The next morning, Lily awoke unhappily to the noise of rustling footsteps and hurried conversation. Groaning, she rolled over to the side of the bed where her curtains weren't completely closed, propping herself onto her elbows as a shape shifted by.

"Wassit?" she mumbled through a yawn, her eyes barely fluttering open.

"We've over-slept, Lily!" Mary called as she walked past again.

"Oh Merlin!" Lily exhaled, wildly swinging her legs over her bed as she pulled her curtains to the side fully.

The next ten minutes were perfect chaos. Lily, who ducked under her bed looking for a fresh pair of socks, found Marlene's missing left shoe and attempted to put it on herself until she realized it was two sizes too big. Mary, in her haste, wound up spilling the contents of her school bag all over the floor and began shoving everything higgledy-piggledy back into the tote before Marlene came to her senses and assisted her with magic. When they finally sprinted their way into the Great Hall, shirts still untucked and hair unbrushed, they had only fifteen minutes to eat before the start of their first lesson.

As they walked through the hall, between the Hufflepuff and Gryffindor tables they found most students turned to look at them. Self-conscious, Lily ran her fingers through her knotted hair as Mary tried to subtly tuck the back of her shirt into her skirt.

"We don't look that bad, do we?" Marlene whispered as they finally took their seats, not far from where the Marauders sat.

"Good morning girls," Sirius called to them as they began shuffling food onto their plates. "Slept in, did you?"

But none of the girls felt the need to reply in their haste to eat. In fact, they paid little attention to anything else besides their choice of breakfast until the ruffling of newspapers all around them became overwhelming. It drew Marlene's attention first.

"Is it just me or has everyone got a copy of the Daily Prophet today?" she asked, observantly, between bites of sausage. Her comment drew the attention of her friends.

Lily looked around for a moment, then, untroubled, shrugged and went back to her food. Mary however turned to the third year seated nearest her. "Oy you there – give me that for a moment, would you?"

The third year didn't even feign protest, swiftly handing the wrinkled parchment over to Mary's out-stretched hand. She folded the paper carefully, beginning her search from the front page, and gradually working through the paper, convinced that she would know what she was looking for when she found it. It wasn't until the second to last page when that happened. Mary's mouth gaped open slightly before her hand immediately shot over her mouth to stifle the giggle. Lily sat across from her, entirely uninterested due to her state of tiredness. Marlene, however, bent to look over Mary's shoulder and a similar expression materialized on her face.

With great effort, she balanced her voice, "Err…Lily."

"Mm?" Lily nodded, as she concentrated on pouring herself a new glass of juice.

"You might want to see this…"

"See what?" Lily asked tiredly. She didn't want to read articles about more disappearances or murders or anti-Muggleborn legislation. Especially on a day like today. But Marlene insisted on thrusting the paper under her nose. Lily's eyes traveled over the top of the parchment which was labeled "Classified Ads", her eyebrows knitting in confusion until she realized what she was meant to find.

The advert was six times the size of the others in the paper, though not for need of space. The words were large and bold and they bled through her mind just as the ink had done to the paper: "James Potter seeking Girlfriend – Only girls named Lily Evans need apply"

But before she could even react, Mary had gotten the girlfriend-seeker-in-question's attention. "Oy, Potter! Are you off your rocker?"

At this, James tore himself off the bench next to Remus and threw himself into the seat nearest Mary, his face flushing slightly, sheepishly.

"Hey, no need to yell about it. The whole school has seen it already."

"Well wasn't that the point?" Lily shot back, before she could help herself. James opened his mouth like a goldfish but had no chance to speak.

"What did we just talk about yesterday?" Mary cut in, her head shaking in disappointment. "After that conversation you still go and do something like this?"

"Wait, what?" Lily asked, turning her attention from James to Mary.

"I didn't do it today, I'd already paid for the advert last week! I tried to owl them to pull it but it was too late to get a refund and they'd already started printing it," James explained, almost pleadingly. He turned to face Lily, "Evans, I'm sorry. I know you don't appreciate when I make a big spectacle of things. It won't happen again."

And with that, he rose, curtly nodding at Mary and Marlene before striding back over to his friends, slinging his bag over his shoulder, and marching out of the hall with his friends at his heels.

"All right, so what was that?" Lily asked slowly, as they too began collecting their things and heading to class.

"Sorry, Lil," Marlene said quietly, her hands twisting together in front of her as they walked. "When we came to visit you in the Hospital Wing yesterday, we might've had a discussion about his attempts to ask you out."

"You might have?"

"Well, we did. It wasn't a particularly long conversation, we just told him he was going about it wrong—"

"Why wouldn't you just tell him to stop altogether?" Lily wondered aloud.

Mary shrugged, "Because he fancies you. And I think part of you is sort of fond of him, too."

But before Lily could answer, they had already found their seats in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and Professor Bones silenced them. She tried to get her point across by sending a small glare over toward Mary, but she was avoiding Lily's eyes.

Lily refrained from speaking about the personal advert or James Potter for the rest of the day, as her mind reeled on and on about it. Despite the frequency of Mary and Marlene's profuse apologies about advising James, she refused to acknowledge their comments while Mary's other words bounced around her brain, tormenting her: Part of you is sort of fond of him.

Day 26

"Evans."

She pointedly ignored the voice that was breaking through her concentration, then dipped her quill back into her inkwell before scratching away at her essay again.

"Evans," the voice called again, closer this time.

Out of her peripherals she could see his trainers come into sight, but before his face came swimming into view, a bouquet of flowers were shoved under her nose. White tulips. Despite herself, she grabbed them from him, her eyes shooting upward to meet his. He softly sat himself down into the chair next to her.

"Hi," he said simply.

"Hello," she responded, her voice slightly cool. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize for yesterday."

"Oh, you have, have you?"

"Yes," he reiterated calmly, his eyes watching as her fingers ran delicately down the petals of a large blooming tulip. "I don't regret asking you out, mind you, and I still stand by it. I do want to take you out on a date, Evans. But I do regret causing a rift between you and McKinnon and Macdonald. And I reckon I need to apologize for that."

Lily looked at him curiously for a moment before setting the bouquet down on the table in front of her and reaching for her quill again. She didn't want to see his concern – he was so good at faking it that it scared her. Part of her was beginning to think he wasn't faking it, and that scared her even more. Furthermore, she didn't want to consider how or why he knew about distance she was putting between herself and her friends.

"Don't be mad at your friends, Evans," James' calm voice told her, seemingly unperturbed by her silence. "It's not their fault they took pity on me. I'm rather pathetic if you hadn't noticed."

Lily laughed despite herself. "Yeah, all right, I might have noticed."

James smiled at her, a smile too genuine for someone who had just been called pathetic by the girl he allegedly fancied. "Well I'm glad you haven't been fooled by my cleverly masked façade," he told her, causing her eyes to fall to his again. "I'm just a pathetic bloke who wants a date—"

"Like you'd know what to do if you got one," she interrupted, unable to help herself. James looked at her puzzled. "You keep asking for a date, but I don't think you'd be able to handle it if I actually said yes, Potter."

At this James laughed. "Couldn't handle it, you say? Evans, I would just need five minutes to sweep you off your feet—"

"Is that all you last, Potter?" she found herself saying. James' eyebrows shot into his hair.

"You little minx," James chided, as he held back his laughter. "I'm actually offended you think I'd put out on the first date. I'm no slag, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes in response before ducking her head back down to cover her growing smile. "It wouldn't matter to me either way, Potter. You're free to do as you please."

When he didn't immediately continue the banter, Lily looked at him. He was staring intently at her for a moment, as if considering what to say. Or perhaps, what not to say.

"Lily," he said, in a quiet breathy voice moments later, rising to his feet, "Forgive your friends, all right? There's nothing more important than keeping good friends around. Don't lose them for anything. Especially not because of me."

She watched as he stuffed his hands in his pockets, all traces of jest gone from his face. Swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, she gave him a small nod. "I've already forgiven them."

"Good," he replied, returning her nod with one of his own. "I do still want to sit with you at the next match," he added quietly, before spinning on his heel and heading toward the exit. Though he said it as an offer, his reluctance to waiting for a response indicated he was already aware of what her answer would be. She stared after him for a long time, wondering why he thought she was upset with her friends to begin with – and more importantly, wondering why she didn't tell him she wasn't upset with them at all.

Day 27

The Gryffindor common room was filled with the sound of cheers, laughter, and the humming of the newest Wizard rock song on the wireless. Students third year and younger were unceremoniously banished from the raucous party that was going on, while older students milled about with butterbeers (and some even firewhiskey) clutched in hand. All signs that indicated James Potter was now seventeen.

Lily knew it was coming. Even though she didn't particularly like him, she knew when his birthday was approaching. Every Gryffindor knew when all the Marauders birthdays were approaching, because they always vocalized their plans to over-take the common room on those nights, and threatened to hex anyone who protested their plans or breathed a word of them to Professor McGonagall. In previous years the gatherings were small and less wild, though they usually ended in a fireworks display that filled the common room with smoke for the following three days. However, in their zeal to celebrate their coming-of-age birthdays, their parties this year had been less tame. James, being the youngest of the Marauders, had the biggest celebration of the four and even Lily couldn't help herself from being present for the festivities.

She sat with Mary and Marlene in the chairs at the end of the common room, sitting furthest from the fire where the Marauders gathered. Even from the distance and the roar of the wireless, they could still hear Sirius Black's loud, bark-like laughs. Despite herself, Lily felt her foot tapping along to the song as she brought the butterbeer bottle to her lips.

"Enjoying yourself?" Mary asked, leaning closer as she teased Lily, gesturing to her foot.

Lily shrugged, setting the bottle onto the table to her right. "This song is rather catchy."

"Yeah, it is," Marlene agreed, her eyes venturing over to the fire place for the hundredth time since the party began. "Have you two wished James a happy birthday, yet?"

"I have," Mary confirmed. "Ran into him in the corridor earlier as he was bringing in the butterbeer. How about you, Lil?"

"No," Lily said, unabashed, as if his birthday was of no consequence to her. "It goes without saying, I think."

Her friends turned around to look at her, in clear disagreement. "You should go over and wish him a happy birthday. It's a big birthday, seventeen and all."

At Marlene's words, Lily felt herself turning in her chair to look at James. His cheeks were flushed and his mouth wide as he laughed adamantly at something Peter had just told him. She noticed that everyone within earshot was laughing; other Gryffindor girls and boys were intermingled with the Marauders, some playing Exploding Snap, some lounging in the plush chairs, and others dancing to the new song coming through the radio.

"He looks busy," Lily commented, her eyes still flittering around the group. "He won't have noticed I was even here." Mary's laugh brought Lily's eyes away from the group by the fire. "What?" she asked, defensively.

"He's definitely going to notice, don't kid yourself, Lily," Marlene answered wisely. Lily rolled her eyes.

"I'm not going over there when he's with all of those people. We'll just get into a row and ruin their fun."

"Then don't get into a row," Mary explained simply, tossing a look to Marlene who just smirked in response.

"I'm sorry, have you had your memory modified lately? It's Potter and I."

Mary shrugged, "Give it a rest for one night, will you? It'll just take a moment to speak with him, then we'll let you rant about him for the rest of the night."

Lily once again turned around in her chair to peer toward the boys. She was certain the drink in James' hand contained more than just butterbeer, but she put the thought out of her mind, knowing it would only lead to the imminent row she was inclined to avoid, no matter what she told her friends.

"All right, then. I'll be back."

If she had turned to them, she would have noticed the mild anticipation unmasked on their faces, but as it were she just took the few steps across the common room blissfully unaware. She stopped short a few feet away from the group of students who were laughing almost loud enough to drown out the song playing behind them. James' back was turned to her, as he was explaining something in great detail to Sirius and Stebbins. Quidditch, no doubt. When she took a small step closer, Sirius looked up, his eyes crinkling as he smiled. A quick nod of his head toward her drew James' attention, and he promptly whipped around to see her.

"Lily Evans!" he greeted cheerfully, taking another long drink from his glass before forcing it into Sirius' hand. Lily noticed he was apparently fond of doing that. He rose quickly to close the distance between them. "You're here, are you?"

"So it would seem," she replied, as kindly as she could. "Happy birthday, Potter."

"Well thank you, Evans. Fancy a dance?"

Lily wrinkled her nose. "With you?"

James looked at her strangely, his head bending slightly as his grin faded. "Yeah, of course with me. I am the birthday bloke after all."

"I don't know, Potter. I just came over to wish you a happy birthday—"

"Just one dance," James implored, shrugging as if it meant little to him, and she was beginning to think he was a little tipsy from the way his voice was. Softer, less arrogant as he asked her for a dance.

She sighed, "All right, one dance." His smile was victorious, and she almost smiled in return at the sheer beauty of it. "But one false move and I'll hex your fingers together."

"Wouldn't dream of it," James lied, a laugh escaping his lips as he followed her to the emptiest part of the common room. The sofas and tables had been pushed aside to allow room for dancing.

Just as Lily turned to face him, the song turned slow. She barely contained her groan. Of bloody course. But when she looked up to see him, his lips were not curved in the grin she was so accustomed to seeing, the one that dripped with arrogance. Instead, he smiled at her, genuinely, and she found herself returning a small one of her own.

His hand shot to his hair nervously as he reached his other out to her, unsure of where to place them. With a hesitance of her own, she locked her out-stretched hand with his, and allowed him to pull her closer to him. She eyed him warily as he slowly put his hands on either side of her waist. His touch was gentle even on the thin fabric of her school shirt. Slowly, she raised her hands to his shoulders.

He smelled of grass, and cinnamon, and firewhiskey, and boy. Under her hands, his shoulders felt sturdy and broad and Merlin. She tried to not react to the feel of him and the smell of him, as he smoothly led her in a small circle. His eyes were slightly red, presumably from the firewhiskey, but they never left her face. She grew hot under his stare, and cleared her throat.

"So have you had a good birthday?"

"Best yet," he told her sincerely. Something in her stomach pulled at the words, as if knowing that his happiness was correlated to their position at this moment, but she ignored it. She was being silly. James Potter didn't have genuine feelings for her, of that she was fairly certain.

"What did you get?"

He pulled his hand from her waist, holding his wrist closer to her eye level. She could see a sparkling golden watch adorned on his wrist. "Mum and Dad got me this. Coming of age present that's standard among wizards," he explained kindly. Not in the way some purebloods explained things to Mudbloods. No, there was not an ounce of superiority in his voice.

She gave a quick nod of understand. "It's a very nice watch. Take it off when you're playing Quidditch, won't you?"

"Yes, mum," he teased, his hand going back to her waist again.

"Get anything else good?" she said, attempting to keep her mind far away from his hands on her waist and hers on his shoulders. "Not a bad birthday overall?"

James shrugged, looking away from her eyes finally, as if worried his own might reveal something. "A good time with mates and a dance with a beautiful bird. Not a bad way to turn seventeen."

His eyes turned back to her now, as she worked to keep the flush off of her face. Was this the longest song ever written or what? As if invoked by her thoughts, the song slowly ended and saved her from responding to him. Their hands dropped in unison and Lily took a small step back from him.

"Thanks for the dance, Lily," he told her, his hand ruffling his hair nervously. "Thanks for—just…thanks."

Lily nodded, the tension between them tangible, prompting her, "That's it then? Not going to ask me out? You know, it's your birthday. Some blokes would use that to their advantage," she teased, her lips curving upward, hoping to convey the lightness of her tone.

He looked at her seriously, his hand falling down to his side. "No, I'm not going to ask you out. Don't need to, after that dance. I mean—never mind, sorry. Think I'm rambling a bit. Enjoy the rest of the party, Evans."

He gave her one last genuine smile before immediately catching Sirius' eye and walking back to his friends. Three minutes later, Lily finally felt her limbs carry her back to her seat.

Day 28

"Some way to spend a Saturday night," Mary grumbled, rolling onto her stomach, nearly upending the inkwell placed thoughtlessly on the corner of her bed.

From their own beds, Marlene and Lily muttered their agreement. But they had no other choice. With an impending Transfigurations exam, they had to put hours into studying, even weekend hours. And unfortunately, the common room was uninhabitable due to rowdy underclassmen, and the library was closed because Madam Pince had fallen ill. That left them with only their dorm to use and it was an uncomfortable place to be. Lily found it particularly difficult to concentrate when her tantalizingly soft pillow rested behind her. It was such a distraction, in fact, that fifteen minutes after Mary's comment, Lily extracted her things from her bed, and slid onto the floor with them. Not long after, it became the most perfectly uncomfortable spot for all three girls to gather and study. They managed a solid hour of studying when Mary finally broke again.

"I need a break," she announced, tossing her notes before her as she rubbed her face in exhaustion. Marlene instantly agreed, copying Mary's note tossing but with more vigor. Lily, who was in the middle of a particularly long strip of notes, tried to get another solid minute of studying in but failed.

"I'm exhausted," she complained, looking between her friends. Mary's disheveled hair and Marlene's blood-shot eyes told her she wasn't alone. "I'm going to fail anyway, aren't I? I've always been rubbish at Transfiguration."

"You are not rubbish. It's not your strongest subject but you still average E's most of the time anyway," Marlene comforted instantly. "Just because you're not the top of this class like the others—"

"And who is? Potter," Lily said, her voice growing tired and child-like. Mary and Marlene laughed. "Perfect Potter with all of his Outstanding scores. I expect he and McGonagall should announce their engagement soon!"

"Blech, she's like forty years older than us, Lily!"

"And besides, James would much rather marry you," Marlene teased, as she ducked the pillow Lily lobbed at her.

But before Lily could retort there was a loud tapping noise on their dormitory window that drew the attention of all three girls. It was nearly ten-thirty, and the sky was too overcast for the light of the moon or stars to shine through their window, but Mary still got up to open it anyway, certain it was owl post. What she did not expect was two owls to sore quickly into the room, hauling a large package in between them.

"Sirius!" Lily called, upon recognizing the larger owl. Mary and Marlene turned to look at her in confusion as the owls landed side-by-side on her bed. Lily rose to untie the large bundle from their feet, and once she had, the second unknown owl immediately tore back out the window and into the night.

"What's Sirius got to do with this?" Marlene asked for the second time before Lily heard her.

"That's the owl's name – Potter's owl. Sirius named him after himself and—well, never mind, it's not important."

"You know James' owl by sight?"

But Lily ignored her suggestive question, as she unrolled the scroll of parchment. It bore handwriting that she never wanted to be familiar with, but now was. As she straightened the scroll out, Owl Sirius gave a small hoot and followed the school owl out into the night. She watched him for only a moment before she read:

James Potter's Guide to Studying for Transfiguration:

Feeling helpless? Like you can't remember if you jab or flick your wrist for the animal transfiguration you're thinking of? (It's likely a jab movement.) Never fear! You have been sent the answer to your prayers. Just follow these 10 easy steps and you'll be well on your way to an O!

Step 1: Stop beating yourself over the head with your textbook. Seriously, Evans, it's a big book, it'll likely leave lasting internal brain damage. Put the book down for a moment.

Step 2: Stack your notes neatly and then place them to the side. Really, de-cluttering your work area will de-clutter your mind. My mum taught me that one.

Step 3: Close your eyes and take five deep breaths. Five long inhales and exhales, then open your eyes to proceed. Not three or four. Five.

Step 4: Open the box, find the names attached to each bag and distribute accordingly.

Step 5: Sit back and enjoy contents of said bags. Recommended for at least ten minutes when studying becomes overwhelming.

Step 6: When properly relaxed, procure your textbook again and begin where you left off. Take breaks as needed and continue Step 3 whenever necessary.

Step 7: Focus on specific animal and human transfigurations and the differences and similarities of the wand movements – a little tabby cat told me it'll probably be important.

Step 8: Seek help as needed, particularly from dashingly handsome fellow Gryffindors who have top marks. (Not Sirius Black)

Step 9: Get a good night's sleep before the exam. Really, no less than eight hours, and come down for an early breakfast. It's important!

Step 10: Ace Transfiguration exam, then celebrate by joining James Potter for next Quidditch Match.

"That dunderhead," Lily breathed through laughter, once she had finished the ridiculous list. She looked up toward Mary and Marlene who had barely been able to keep quiet throughout her reading. Setting the parchment down, she opened the box, interested in its contents. She found three bulging brown bags, all of similar size and color, with small tags tied around the top of each bearing one of three names: Lily, Marlene, Mary.

"He's sent one for each of us," Lily told them, handing her friends their appropriately labeled bags. They looked at her in deep confusion as they took the bags from her. "Potter. He's sent this ridiculous guide for studying Transfiguration and sent along these—"

But her words died in her throat as she peered into her own bag. It was as if he had sent her an endless supply of Honeyduke's fudge, her absolute favorite sweet. From Mary and Marlene's sudden silences, she wagered to guess he had sent them something similar.

"How in Merlin's name—?" Marlene breathed, pulling a large Sugar Quill out of her bag in awe. She held it out for Mary and Lily to see. "These are my favorite, and I haven't had one in ages. How could he possibly know that?"

Mary answered with a sound of pure ecstasy as she popped a Pumpkin Pasty into her mouth. "This is so fresh. He had to have just gotten these today," Mary mused, digging into her bag for another one as though suddenly starved.

Lily tried very hard to keep her thoughts calm as her friends went on.

"He must have snuck down to Hogsmeade," Marlene answered wisely, as she began eating her own candy. "He and the other boys sneak down there all the time, I bet. They always have butterbeer and loads of Zonko's stuff."

"But how could he have known what to get us? I can't remember ever telling him, and even if I had, I'd hardly expect him to have listened."

Marlene nodded her agreement, unable to speak with her mouth full. Her gaze shifted to Lily, drawing Mary's eyes with her.

"What have you got, Lil?"

Lily's mouth gaped open like a fish, and she was slow to recover. "Fudge. He got me fudge…"

Her friends watched her closely as her voice faded away. She avoided their eye contact, picking up the parchment to read again. Her brain tried to focus on the words, the arrogant words that should drive her to anger, instead of the bag of fudge sitting her lap, but it was proving impossible. She shared her friends' astonishment at his feat: never in her life would she expect James Potter to know this about her. And how. How could he know that her favorite sweet was Honeyduke's fudge? And how could he have known she was moments away from pelting herself over her head with her Transfiguration textbook, entirely overwhelmed by wand movements and her future imminent failure? He wasn't supposed to know things about her, wasn't supposed to surprise her and her friends with random acts of kindness. And sure, his final step was clearly a continuation of his ludicrous idea to badger her for a date but his tone was all wrong. It was a joke, but not cruel or forceful or conniving. Granted it wasn't genuine, but…

"Lily?" Marlene's voice came timidly through the silent dormitory toward her.

"We better get back to studying," Lily said, pulling a single piece of fudge out of the bag and popping it into her mouth. It was fresh. Oh Merlin.

"But, James—"

"We need to study, Mar," Lily repeated, a note of finality in her voice that her friends were all too familiar with.

It was with great effort that Lily drew her focus back to her Transfiguration book, and as she curled back upon her bed with it, beginning to doze off, she hardly noticed sticking the "James Potter Guide" between the pages as a make-shift bookmark before sleep overcame her.

Day 29

It was not uncommon to find Lily Evans huddled onto the sill of her dormitory window, her eyes bright and shiny from the reflecting light of the stars above her. Ever since she was a young girl, she took every opportunity she could to stay up late to star gaze. Her father often joined her, both of them fascinated by the way the lights winked at them. He had received much scolding because of it when Lily had been growing up, but he always took it in stride. It was their time together, set aside for just the two of them.

Despite her early Monday morning classes, Lily couldn't help but spend her Sundays perched at the window, grateful for the solitude of her dormitory. This Sunday evening was no different. Her friends and dorm-mates were scattered about, as it was still before curfew, but they knew Lily was already lounging at the window, and would be there long after curfew if they let her.

Her gaze skimmed the sky, watching the stars appear through the growing darkness. The stars casted pale light onto the tree tops of the Forbidden Forest and glimmered on the rippling lake. Half an hour into her solace, she was interrupted by a familiar owl.

"Sirius," she whispered softly as the owl landed on the sill. "He's sent you again, has he?"

The owl stared at her unblinkingly in response, and she let out a small laugh. He was as loyal as his namesake it seemed. She looked down at the tiny scroll, "Come to the Astronomy Tower". She flipped the parchment over but found that was all he wrote. Owl Sirius remained dutifully by her side for the five minutes she sat, thinking.

She had always wanted to spend time in the Astronomy Tower late at night. She endured time there with her classmates over the years, but it appealed to her greatly to be able to find her own personal solace there. But then, she imagined, she wouldn't be alone if she ventured up there now. Clearly Potter was waiting to ambush her somewhere along the lines, if not at the tower itself. Despite this, she smiled as her mind imagined the sight of the wide sky above her. Owl Sirius hooted softly beside her as her mind evaluated.

"No need asking your opinion on it," she told the bird. "You reckon I should go up there and see him don't you?"

The owl hooted merrily, nibbling the edge of her cloak affectionately.

"That's what I thought."

Suddenly she found herself standing, as though her body moved without much consideration of her own feelings – her desires seeming to override her disinterest in seeing James Potter.

"I'll meet you up there," she told the owl, running her pointer finger over the soft feathers of his head. Owl Sirius hooted once more and took to the sky. After shutting the window softly, Lily made her way down to the common room.

She didn't bother pausing to survey the room as she walked through it, knowing that Mary and Marlene were in the library finishing up a Potions assignment they had let go until the last possible moment. Her walk to the Astronomy Tower was uneventful. She passed a few third years who were chasing each other about, but once they shot past her, she didn't encounter anyone else until she reached the tower itself.

He was leaning against the wall just before the open-aired landing, his hands casually in his pockets, his body silhouetted in the light of the bright stars. He didn't greet her as she entered, apparently not hearing her, and, in the quietness of the tower, she allowed herself to watch him. Though his buried hands were unmoving in his pockets, she could see his right arm twisting slightly, a nervous tick. His hair ruffled in the slight breeze as he teetered back and forth on his feet. After a moment, he extracted his left hand from his pocket and it shot to his hair. His shoulders caved in slightly as he pushed himself off the wall, spinning around and finally noticing her.

"Evans," he said in surprise, his eyes fumbling over her face.

She laughed, "Surprised to see me?"

He gave a slight nod in response, folding his hands back into his pockets. "I wasn't sure you'd come," he said honestly. "I—err—I wanted to show you something."

He motioned for her to follow him out to the landing, and she took tentative steps behind him. When they reached the middle of the landing he stopped. She peered around him to see a mass of blankets huddled up together, then turned to look at him.

"I know you like to star gaze so I brought you up some blankets," he explained quietly, gesturing to the spot on the ground. "I wasn't sure if you'd ever come up here before, but I didn't think so." He slowly backpedaled away from her, his hand still open-palming toward the blankets. "Sirius, err, my owl, that is, should be along. He'll stay with you in case you need him."

Lily, her mouth slightly agape as she heard him speak, suddenly found her voice again. "You're leaving, then?"

James nodded in response, as he stood near the edge of the landing. "Send word with him and I can come walk you back to the tower if you stay past curfew. I know a few short cuts that'll get us past Filch."

"Oh, all right," she said, nodding her understanding. This is very sweet, she thought, but her lips remained in a tight line. "Potter?"

"Yes, Evans?"

"Thanks."

He smiled genuinely at her, his teeth glinting in the light from the sky. "No problem, Evans."

As he withdrew from her sight, her mouth seemed to open of its own accord, "It'd be all right with me if you wanted to hang around for a little while. I've brought the fudge you sent me yesterday."

James smiled at her, closing the distance between them in a few, long strides. She noticed that he sat a careful distance away from her as she crouched down to bundle the blankets around her. The sky was now completely dark, and the stars shined brightly down on them, causing their features to soften under the light. She had no idea why she invited him to stay, when this was an event she usually part-took in alone, but he looked so happy, sitting there a few feet from her, his body sprawled along the ground as he stared upward, and she found she didn't regret extending the invitation.

"Do you come up here often?"

He continued staring upward as he considered her question. "Not too often, really. It's not usually unoccupied, and, anyway, I'm lacking the main reason most blokes come up here."

"Huh?"

"I don't have a girl."

"Oh," Lily said naïvely. "Right."

She looked around the empty landing, internally wondering what the appeal of the tower was. Romantic, perhaps, for those couples wanting to spend some alone time together, but considering that it wasn't just star gazing those couples were doing, she thought engaging in their real activities seemed unappealing in such a place.

Her eyes traveled over to her companion, watching as he crossed his arms behind his head, with his legs also overlapped lazily. Lily vaguely wondered if he had ever not been lacking the reason boys came to the Astronomy Tower. She imagined him lying there, much like he was right now, but with a girl curled up at his side, her head resting peacefully on his chest, or propped up, staring into the green flecks of his eyes, or taking in the scent of cinnamon and grass, or— She shook her head at the image.

"I should also thank you for this," she said after a moment, drawing James' attention back to her face as she pulled the bag of sweets from her pocket. She held them open toward him, but he waved his hand.

"I got them for you," he insisted, gently pushing her hand away from him. She ignored his protests and pushed the bag back out to him. She felt her lips twist up at the end as she suggestively jostled the bag in his direction. "All right, fine. Just one. Merlin, Lily, you can't just look at a bloke like that—"

Her hand nearly dropped the bag of sweets as James shoved one in his mouth to stop his own rambling, but it appeared he didn't notice. She recovered, pulling the bag back into her lap and popping a piece into her own mouth. The silence between them was loud. Louder than it ever had been, even louder than the silence that followed the time in fourth year when Lily got so angry at James that she hexed him in front of Professor Flitwick. But the silences were remarkably different.

"Why did you just say that? What did you mean?"

"No reason," James answered quickly propping himself up to sit, "It was nothing."

"Don't lie," she commanded softly, her stomach knotting uncomfortably at his diversions, half-wanting to know, half-terrified to know.

"Go with me to the Quidditch match?" he averted, wildly, his arms springing him out of his seated position to stand.

"What? No," Lily began, instinctively. But to her growing confusion, that seemed to be the answer he was looking for.

Despite his relief at her answer, his face was stricken, as if his plans for the evening had suddenly gone terribly wrong.

"All right, I better go then." He strode to the edge of the landing, then added, "Maybe one day," before silently leaving.

His tone was light and wistful, but there was something wrong about the words. Lily tried to not dwell on them too much. What did he mean by his cryptic comments? Why did he ask her out then practically sprint away from her? Most importantly, why in Merlin's name did it even matter to her?

She folded the bag of fudge closed and stowed it away in her cloak once more as she decided that it didn't matter to her. Not one bit.

But the words still echoed in her head, like a mantra metered to the beat of her heart.

May-be one-day.

Day 30

"Lily, quit sulking," Mary told her firmly as she entered the dormitory after dinner the following day.

"I'm not sulking."

"You are so."

She was sulking. The day had finally arrived, and though she knew it was coming, she wasn't prepared. She knew it was stupid, but she would never admit it to anyone, even herself. Her first favorite book had finally come undone at the binding – something she had been expecting, seeing as she'd owned it since she was a small child, and had towed it with her back and forth to Hogwarts every year. It had been her grandmother's copy of Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. She had vague memories of her grandmother reading it to her as a child, and had been given it upon her grandmother's death. Pages had been falling out for years but now the binding had completely fallen off and her Reparo spell had proven futile, though she wasn't sure why.

She made a mental note to research whether Carroll might have been a wizard.

"James asked you to come down to the common room," Marlene said, her voice breaking through Lily's wonderment.

Lily sighed, "It's late," she said. She was already dressed in her nightgown, curled up within the sheets of her four-poster; it was too early for her to fall asleep, but it wasn't for lack of trying. "Was he rudely persistent about you getting me down there, then?"

"No, he just asked once. But he really wants to see you."

"So you felt bad," Lily supplied, a smile playing on her lips.

"Yeah, I guess I did," Marlene ceded, a small smile on her lips too.

Lily sighed again, but it wasn't like the exasperated sigh from before. Rising from her bed, she fumbled around for her robe and threw it over her night gown as she stood. The robe was light blue and a little frumpy, but that was mostly from non-use. She wasn't overly fond of wearing a robe, but it was a necessary purchase after fourth year when she wandered down to the common room late at night to grab a book she'd forgotten, and had come face to face with four years' worth of Gryffindor boys playing an Exploding Snap tournament. Standing there in nothing but her night gown, she was mortified, though she had managed to escape back up the staircase without much notice – for at the moment she arrived, James Potter had lit a loud firework and sufficiently distracted the rest of the room. At the time she assumed he was just being obnoxious or overly-celebratory, but now she considered maybe he had done it for her.

The book she had come down for was magically returned to her room the next morning by the time she woke up.

Shaking her head of these thoughts, Lily avoided her friend's eye contact as she made her way out of their dormitory and down into the common room. Pulling her robe around her tighter, her eyes searched the room but they found him instantly. He was the only one there, and he was silhouetted against the fire, very much like the previous night when she had found him waiting for her at the Astronomy Tower. This time, however, she didn't allow herself to watch how the light reflected on his glasses.

"Hello," she called to him. He swiveled in the chair to face her.

"Good evening," he replied, beckoning her to join him with the nod of his head. She walked closer, hesitating at the arm of the sofa next to his before softly sliding onto the cushion. "I heard you've had a rather unfortunate event happen today."

Her eye-brows creased in confusion at his words. She couldn't immediately recall anything too terrible happening today, except…

"My book, you mean?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," he nodded, dipping his hand into the pocket of his robes, withdrawing a small package. He held it out to her. "Here."

Timidly, she took it from him, her thumb softly lifting the edge of the stiff packing paper. She slid the book out of the paper and into her hands. She rotated the book around, the colors and words pleasantly familiar. James watched her intently, his breath held as he waited for her to react – a look, a comment, anything. When she didn't after a few minutes, he seemed unable to contain himself any longer.

"I know it's not the same as fixing the one you have, but McKinnon told me it couldn't be fixed, so I thought this was the next best thing," James said, quickly. "It's actually the copy my mum got as a girl… Do you hate it?"

"N-no," she breathed out finally, her facing shooting upward to look at him. "It's just like the one my gran gave me, actually." His smile drew out her own. "You didn't have to do this, you know?"

He nodded, "I know."

"Thank you, James."

His smile grew wider at the word that was uncommon for him to hear. Uncommon, but not unpleasant. She returned it, more willing than usual to smile at him, aware of the shift in the room that resulted from her speaking his first name.

"You're welcome, Lily," he said, his voice more earnest than she had ever heard it.

"If you did this just for a date…" She couldn't help from saying, though her voice trailed off, unwilling to say what she was equally unwilling to believe.

"I didn't," James assured her, and she believed it. "But if you happen to change your mind about my offer, I won't protest."

"No," she said, unthinkingly. His lips twisted downward unpleasantly, but he gave a nod of understanding nonetheless. "Sorry," she added softly.

"S'all right," he mumbled back, rising to his feet. "I'm glad you like it. I'm off to bed, though."

"Thanks again," she told him, hoping her voice conveyed the earnestness she felt. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he said softly as he rounded his chair. "And by the way, nice robe."

She swore she saw his mouth twist into a smirk as he turned away from her, and she held back a laugh. As he ascended the stairs, she flipped the book around in her hands again before opening it. To her surprise a piece of parchment fell out from the table of contents. She realized it was a letter to James, and had his name on her lips before she realized he was long out of ear shot. Her eyes fell over the parchment, curiously, and though typically not one to snoop, she found herself opening the creased parchment and reading:

Dear James,

Your father and I are so pleased to hear your term is going well. We have really missed you and Sirius since Christmas. I hope you two aren't getting into too much trouble – just a little, but nothing that will reflect on your marks, okay? You know how your father feels about you boys not having enough fun.

I hope this book got to you fast enough. I sent it as soon as I got your letter. I'm confident your friend will love it, but are you certain you want to give it away? It still has all your favorite parts marked from when you were a child, though with the amount of times your father and I read them to you, we about had them memorized by the end. Still, I have no doubt this Lily must be a great friend of yours for you to willingly part with this book.

Anyway, we are looking forward to Sirius coming back around for the summer. He will, won't he? We know he's of age now, but he's still part of the family, and do tell him that from us.

Missing you both,

Mum

Lily reread the letter three times, her eyes lingering far too long over the second paragraph. He had told her it was his mum's copy, though she hadn't the faintest idea why he felt the need to lie to her about its real owner.

Making a mental note to pass the letter along to its rightful owner, she carefully placed it back into the book and headed to her dormitory.

Day 31

James awoke early the next morning, his resolve shaking him awake earlier than it usually did, even on an exam day. After his quick shower he found his friends in various states of rousing: Sirius, the furthest along, was buttoning up his school shirt, Remus was sitting slumped over the side of his bed, still apparently half-asleep, and Peter was still lying in bed, though stretching his limbs out and yawning.

"Morning," he called to them, as cheerfully as the early hour allowed.

He received mumbled replies from Remus and Peter, and a rather disheartened "Morn'" back from Sirius.

"Today's the day," he told them seriously. He was long into buttoning his own shirt now, as Sirius fumbled around his bed looking for his other shoe.

"Don't know why you're so excited about a bloody Transfiguration exam," Sirius said, voice slightly muffled as he ducked under his bed. After a second he stood back up, victorious, "Especially because I am going to get the top mark."

"No, you aren't," James answered automatically. "But that's not the point. Today is the day. The 31st of March – the end of March."

His friends looked around at each other as if expecting one of others to have an explanation on the significance of the 31st of March. As far as they could tell, there wasn't much about the day that was important, with the exception of those who hated the month and were looking forward to April.

"What are you on about?" Sirius asked finally, when it became apparent that none of the three boys knew what James was alluding to.

"Didn't I tell you?" James questioned, his brows furrowed, starting to get a sinking feeling in his stomach. He usually told them everything, and wondered how his personal deadline had slipped through the cracks.

"Tell us what?" Remus asked, impatiently. He was sharp and easily irritated this early in the morning, quite a difference from his usual temperament. It was something both Sirius and James liked about him as soon as they discovered that this part of him existed.

"Oh, well, I'm giving one last shot of it," James told them, splitting his gaze between the three as he looked for reactions. "With Evans." They looked wonderingly at him, apparently unable to speak. "I guess I sort of made a deadline, you know? I thought I'd ask every day until the end of March, and if she hadn't said yes, I'd just drop it."

"So this is it, then?" Sirius asked, his voice louder than he anticipated, drawing his friends' eyes from James to him. "After all that? The poem, the fudge, the bloody book, all the notes and letters. All of that and you're just going to give up if she says no? Why even bother, when she said no thirty days ago?"

James shrugged, his eyes studying Sirius' face in confusion, "What am I supposed to do? Thirty days ago Evans doubted whether I had genuine interest in her. D'you really think she doubts it now? She might've said no before because she doubted my sincerity, but if she says no now when I know she knows my sincerity then…"

"Then you're done with her, just like that?"

"No, not done with her," James shook his head vigorously. "Just finished asking her out."

After a long moment, eyes still locked, Sirius said, "I don't believe you."

James smiled wryly in return. "That's the funny thing about the truth, isn't it? It doesn't matter what you believe."

Sirius just shook his head, continuing his morning routine.

"How are you going to ask?" Remus asked, now standing to the side of his bed. "What do you have planned if this is the once-and-for-all proposal?"

Peter and Remus stared intently at James as he considered this, and though Sirius was turned away, his stiffened disposition indicated he too was listening.

"Honesty," was all James said, as he turned from their gazes and continued dressing for the day.

When he had finished, to his slight surprise, Sirius accompanied him down to the Great Hall for breakfast. It was a common ritual for them to go to early breakfast on exam days. When they were younger, they sat in the hall among their classmates with an air of superiority and unopened books. It screamed, We don't need to study, we know this rubbish. And try as you might, Ravenclaws, you'll never beat our marks. When their heads deflated a bit they sat welcoming, instead. Though usually exclusive in nature as a group of four, James and Sirius received classmates who had last minute questions or needed extra practice. They usually had a good laugh while doing it, and not always at the expense of the students they were assisting.

When they arrived, Lily, Marlene, and Mary were already crowded around the table, books open in front of them as they attempted a last minute cram session.

"You lot ready or what?" James called as a greeting, sitting a few feet down from them, his face forming into what he hoped to be an encouraging smile.

"Getting there," Marlene called back, as she withdrew a large Sugar Quill from her bag. She waved it joyfully in his direction, and his smile widened.

"Glad to see someone's read my guide!" James said cheekily in response. He was happy to see Lily biting back her own smile as she watched the exchange.

He and Sirius busied themselves with breakfast as they sat across from one another. About half-way through their plates, Sirius started rapid-fire quizzing James about incantations and wand movements. Sirius spoke the incantation and James indicated whether the movement was a jab, twist, or flick. After a dozen spells, they began drawing the attention of those around them, including Lily and her friends who watched on, their heads snapping between the boys as if watching a tennis match. They had been going back and forth for around three minutes when Lily realized her mouth was hanging open. Flushed, she turned to look at her friends, but they paid her no mind as the boys continued their exercise. It wasn't until Remus and Peter joined them that they stopped, seemingly satisfied. James had gotten none of them wrong.

"Hey James!" Mary called, prompting his head to snap toward her. "You're not human, you know that? That was unbelievable."

"Thanks Macdonald," he told her graciously, his grin growing arrogant as he turned back to face Remus.

The girls looked at each other incredulously before turning back to their textbooks but their attempts proved futile, as three Hufflepuffs passed behind them to join the Marauders. Lily's eyes followed their backs as they addressed James and Sirius in hushed voices. Though she couldn't hear what they were saying, their sudden shifts to join the table indicated they had asked for a late study session with James and Sirius. She watched as James enthusiastically swiveled in his chair to talk to the Hufflepuffs. He thrived as they threw questions as him, which he answered with apparent ease.

"Lily," Marlene said. Lily snapped her gaze away from James, and as she realized how long she had been staring her face grew warm. "Want to head to class?"

"Let's get it over with," Lily agreed, standing. They were silent as they walked past the Marauders, but Lily felt a sudden weight eclipse her wrist. She turned to meet hazel eyes.

"Hey," he said so quietly that his voice was almost inaudible over Sirius' loud explanation. "You ready?"

She gave him a small smile and a nod, "Ready as I'll ever be."

James gave her a reassuring smile as he released her wrist. "You'll do great. Good luck, Lily."

"Thank you, James. I'd wish you luck, but I suppose you could've written the exam," Lily told him, her lips twitching into a smirk that James easily returned, but he said nothing.

As Lily sat down at her desk in Transfiguration, she twirled her quill around her fingers nervously. There was a familiar quenching in her stomach that normally accompanied exams – most particularly Transfiguration exams. The anticipation building up in her stomach quickly traveled around her body, causing her fingers to drum on the table, and rising a lump in her throat. A few minutes before Professor McGonagall entered the classroom, she turned to find James and his friends sliding into their seats. He threw her a smile that she sickly reciprocated the best she could. When Professor McGonagall did enter already telling the class her curt instructions, the room quieted and the exam began.

And then finally it was over.

Lily's stomach unclenched happily as she progressed on in the test, as confident as she ever had been when facing a Transfiguration exam. So much in fact that she sought James out as they exited the class.

"Hey!" she called to the four retreating backs. All four heads turned to look at her, but only one of the four stopped walking to allow her to catch up. As they walked on, Remus clasped a hand subtly on James' shoulder while Sirius brushed his shoulder into James' other shoulder, both intending to be a show of support equal to that of Peter's nod. James sent them a tight smile in response as Lily joined him.

"Hello," he greeted kindly. "How'd it go, then?"

"I think it went rather well," Lily said, her smile brighter than it had been all day. "Y'know, besides the fact that I'm a few pounds heavier due to the fudge."

"You're perfect," James told her automatically, without really thinking. His face flushed when his brain realized the words his mouth had already said. Her eyes fell to the floor in response, apparently taken aback by the words.

"Err…well, thanks for the vote of confidence," she said, throwing him a small look. Twisting her hand through her hair, she started down the corridor.

"Lily, wait," James called, taking two strides ahead to face her again. He took a deep breath, steading himself. "Lily, you know I fancy you, don't you?"

Whatever Lily was expecting to hear, it was clearly not this. Her eyes stared everywhere but into his own, as her mouth sagged open. She had doubted the sincerity of his requests for so long, and though Marlene and Mary were insistent in their belief that he did have feelings, it was an entirely different thing to hear it straight from him. James' eyes traveled over her face, gauging her reaction.

"I do," he said again, as she continued to gape at him in silence. "I've been trying to show you that over the last few weeks. I know you've had your doubts, but you know that now right?"

Her mouth went dry. Still unable to speak she found herself nodding. No, she wasn't sure before, but she was beginning to be sure now. And it was bloody terrifying.

He took another deep breath before reaching a hand out to tenderly grasp hers. "So let me take you on a date. Just one date and then I'll never ask you for another one."

Of its own accord, her head shook. "No," her mouth said, voice slightly raspy, as she drew her hand from his. "No, that's not right. Wouldn't you rather I agree to go out with you because I want to go out with you? Not just to get you off my back about it?"

Heavy silence fell between them at her words, and she found herself now able to look into his eyes. They stared strongly back, the glint that normally sparkled dulling.

"You're right," he said, nodding solemnly at her. "You're absolutely right. So I…I'm—I'm done."

He walked away, looking wounded. And as she watched, she knew he really was done. Finally, after thirty one days, thirty one different proposals – several infuriating, some sweet, many clever – he was walking away, defeated. Thirty one days ago, she wouldn't have bat an eyelash at it. It would've been expected, and welcome, and entirely what she wanted. She wasn't sure that it wasn't what she wanted, but then why couldn't she tear her eyes away from his retreating back?

March was over. And he was done. It only bothered her a little, but she knew that was how things were meant to be for them. Whatever ideas he had in his head, of Lily and James, girlfriend and boyfriend – spending afternoons in Hogsmeade, sitting next to each other at dinner, studying in the library together, her adorning his secondary Quidditch jersey at Gryffindor games – just weren't meant to happen. That future wasn't foreseeable in Lily's eyes, regardless of what James himself felt. She felt confident in this.

But still.

She watched him as he rounded the corridor, as if glued to the spot, vaguely wondering what day 32 would be like, and then day 33 and onward. She wondered if there would be days filled with more fudge, and Astronomy Tower visits, and old books, and infuriating antics that only really infuriated her a little.

These thoughts stayed with her as she lied down for bed, many hours afterword. And she couldn't help but wonder why they were there today, when they had been so far from her mind the previous day. Her mind replayed his steady walk down the corridor away from her, but it was quickly joined with other images of him: at dinner, talking quietly with his friends, his actions seemingly forced; in classes, pointedly avoiding looking in her direction; him shooting through the portrait hole, not lingering in the common room, and leading his friends up to their dormitory straight after dinner.

The images shifted to brighter days: him leaning against the stone-wall of the Transfiguration's classroom, many days ago, as she graded essays; his infectious energy as he walked with her on her patrols; his encouraging smile earlier that day when he wished her well on their exam. Then his words, the arch of his penmanship filled her memory, the swirl of his handwriting: in the note he sent wishing her luck on their Charms quiz; his anecdote about Owl Sirius' namesake; his ludicrous instructions for studying, that she knew was still crammed into her Transfiguration's book somewhere. Then his spoken words, which she didn't even remember listening to intently enough to actually memorize: "When I heard you were ill, I checked the Hospital wing but—"; "I might surprise you one day, Evans"; "Maybe one day". His voice, handwriting, smirk, eyes, and words were all etched into her brain and she hadn't even realized they were there.

But still.

She had made the right decision. That future wasn't meant to be, and in time when his misplaced feelings faded, he would see that too. Then perhaps they could be friends, and laugh about his past antics, reminiscing about his ludicrous ideas over butterbeers with all their friends around them to enjoy the memories. He wouldn't be wounded, he would be lively and happy and his annoyingly arrogant self. And she could shove his shoulder playfully without his eyes lingering on hers, or she could sit with him at Quidditch matches without him suggesting there's more. Because more wasn't right.

But maybe friends could be right. With time and faded feelings, perhaps they could work as friends.

As she curled into a ball in her four-poster, she considered the last month. Much had changed. On the 28th of February, she doubted James Potter, with sharp words and thin patience. Now, on the 31st of March, she watched him walk away after a final attempt to show her his feelings, and she didn't celebrate the sight of it. He had shown her the nicer, genuine side of him and her opinion of him had softened to the point that their relationship had transformed into what could be consider a pseudo-friendship. So perhaps by the end of April…

She drifted off to sleep at the very thought of April. April was a good month, a lot can and has happened in the month of April over history. But she was sorely mistaken in believing this particular April would lead to the fading of James Potter's feelings. And if she held on tightly to the notion of maybe next month, she would be sorely mistaken then, too. If not April, then surely May, or most certainly June, or definitely July… In time she would come to find out how very wrong she was about James Potter's feelings. And more importantly, her own.

---

Final Note: Sorry this took so long to update – James and I were both rather unwilling to completely pester poor Lily, but we were stubborn enough to make it work in the end. I'm not completely satisfied but this chapter got out of hand and I don't think I could've gotten it any better. I do have another chapter in the works (because what's a good Lily/James story if they don't get together?) but the originally planned month is finished. If I'm persuaded to write another chapter (hint hint) I'm not sure how long it would be, but I can promise it will finally include a "Yes" :)