Summary: In order to keep Doctor Brainstorm from interfering from Sheila's plans to kill Calvin, she leaves Mother Brainstorm in his lab in Yellowstone.

And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie

SHEILA'S BACK!

It was a bright day in July. Everything seemed normal.

Everything seemed normal.

The sound of a chainsaw ripped through the air, inside a particular yellow house.

Contained in the attic of that house was Dr Brainstorm's sister, Sheila, and Calvin, who was tied to a chair and gagged, struggling to get away.

The chainsaw was whirring loudly as Sheila moved in closer.

Calvin was desperately trying to back away.

But just then, Hobbes and Socrates burst into the room.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, BRAINSTORM'S SISTER!" he shouted.

Sheila turned off the chainsaw and looked back.

"What the heck…?" she wondered.

The duct tape came off of Calvin's mouth.

"Brainstorm's sister?" he asked.

"ATTACK!" shouted Socrates.

Two tigers suddenly jumped the crazy lady and knocked her down.

"AAHH!" she screamed. "CRAZY ROBOTS! HELP ME!"

Calvin watched with great interest.

"GO HOBBES! GO SOCRATES! GO, GO, GO!" he chanted from his prison.

Just then, Andy, Sherman and the rest of the gang entered the room.

Mom, Dad, Susie and Rosalyn watched as a crazed woman rolled around on the floor with two stuffed tigers on her chest.

"HELP! HELP!" she screamed.

Andy and Sherman ran over and untied Calvin.

"Thanks, guys," said Calvin, getting down from the chair. "Man, I didn't think Dr Brainstorm had a family. I always figured he'd just sprung from the ground."

"Same here," said Andy.

Just then, they heard a bunch of footsteps as a man came in through the crowd. He was dressed in a policeman's, but he also had a really tall red hairdo. Behind him was a man who wore a similar uniform, but he was very gray and shiny.

It was Dr Brainstorm and Jack.

"There you are!" he shouted.

Everyone stopped and stared at him.

Brainstorm stormed over towards Sheila and yanked Hobbes and Socrates off of her.

"Okay, Sheila. Come with me. You are under arrest!" he yelled.

"WHAT?! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I DEMAND MY ATTORNEY!" she yelled.

"You have no attorney. Jack, let's book her!"

"Whatever you say, Frank," said Jack, getting out a notepad.

"DEPUTY BRAINSTORM!" he shouted.

They dragged Sheila away.

"JUST YOU WAIT! ALIEN! HE'S AN ALIEN! IT'S THE ONLY EXPLANATION! HOW ELSE COULD HIS HAIR DO THAT? ALIEN!!"

Jack dragged Sheila out of the house.

Calvin and Hobbes watched.

Dr Brainstorm leaned in towards them.

"Yeah, don't get used to me helping you out," he muttered. "I only did this for two reasons. One: I can't stand her. And two: if anyone is going to kill you two, it'll be me!"

Calvin and Hobbes rolled their eyes.

Brainstorm piled into the cop car with Jack at his side, and tied and bound Sheila trapped in the back.

"Okay, Sheila, you're going home to mother," said Dr Brainstorm.

"What? NO! NOT MOMMY! PLEASE! SPARE ME!"

Jack stuck some earplugs into his head and they drove into the sunset, and Sheila's screaming was heard for miles around.

Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and Sherman watched them leave.

Our story takes place right here.

"NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!! NO!!" Sheila screeched, hopping up and down inside the police car.

Brainstorm and Jack tried to ignore it, as Jack continued to steer the car through the traffic.

They had been driving for hours, and Sheila spent every second of it screaming.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!!!" She shouted at them. "I HAVE MY RIGHTS!!! YOU CAN'T JUST DUMP ME OFF AT HERS!!! HAVE YOU NO HEART!!!!"

"I always figured you Brainstorms lost your vocal cords generations ago." Jack said, turning to Brainstorm. "And they were replaced with air horns."

"Shut up and drive." Brainstorm growled through gritted teeth. "We're only about three miles away from her house."

"YOU'D DO THIS TO YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD!!!"

"Ew," Jack said, squinting his eyes.

Suddenly, Jack turned the wheel off the highway and down an exit.

Upon seeing this, Sheila freaked.

Again.

"NO!!!! YOU CAN'T TAKE ME THERE!! YOU BRING ME TO MY DEEEEEATTTTTHHHHH!!!"

She began hopping up and down, wildly, in her seat, screaming, insanely.

Brainstorm and Jack heaved deep sighs.

Jack drove the car through a small town towards a neighborhood.

Then, he pulled up to a small house.

It wasn't exactly what you'd expect a Brainstorm house to look like.

It was painted bright pink with flowers in the backyard.

Sheila stared at it in pure horror.

"NO!!" She screeched. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!!"

Jack got out of the car, walked over to the other side.

Upon opening the door, Sheila leaped out onto the ground, and began crawling away, still tied up in ropes.

Jack sighed, and walked over to her.

He grabbed her feet, and began dragging her across the lawn towards the front door.

"NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!! NO!!!!" Sheila screamed, clawing at the ground, and trying to escape.

Jack dragged her over to the front door, and rang the doorbell.

Then, he dropped Sheila, and raced as fast as he could back towards the car.

Brainstorm was in the car screaming at him to hurry.

Jack ripped the car door open, flung himself inside, and started the car up.

VROOOOM!!!

The car engine roared to life, and the wheels began spinning, throwing dust up.

Then, the car sped away in a cloud of dust.

"HAVE MERRCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!" Sheila screamed, trying to crawl back to the car.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a lock coming undone behind the door, and then the door swung wide open.

Behind it was Mother Brainstorm.

"YES!" Brainstorm screeched, throwing his arm upward. "I'M FINALLY RID OF HER!! NOW I CAN GET BACK TO BEING EEEEEEVIIILL!!!"

Jack rolled his eyes as Brainstorm burst out into maniacal cackling.

"Oh, yes, that reminds me," He said, suddenly, turning to Jack "We have to return these police stuff to those two unconscious guys in town."

"Uh huh." Jack replied.

"NOW JACK," Brainstorm ordered, pointing forwards. "BACK TO MY EVIL LABORATORY!! WHERE MY EXPERIMENTS SHALL CONTINUE AND I CAN DESTROY CALVIN! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!"

"Despite the fact that you just finished saving him."

"SHUT UP!!! TO YELLOWSTONE!!!"

The police car roared across the street, towards Yellowstone National Park.

Mother Brainstorm had all of the basic characteristics of the Brainstorm family.

She was wearing a lab coat with a black shirt underneath, along with red gloves, black pants, brown sneakers, and of course, red hair that was sticking straight up into the air and ending in spikes as if she had been electrocuted. She was a very large woman, and was probably capable of inflicting major physical harm if she wanted to.

She looked around, then her eyes fell on Sheila, who was still tied up on the ground, screaming for mercy.

"YOU!" She shouted, jabbing a finger at Sheila "I THOUGHT IT WAS YOU!! WHERE WERE YOU!!! YOU'VE BEEN AWAY FOR MONTHS!! DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR OWN MOTHER?!?!?"

Family traits.

Sheila looked at Mrs Brainstorm uneasily.

"I, uh..."

"I ORDER YOU TO GET IN HERE AT ONCE!! AND WHERE'S FRANKLIN!!!"

Sheila thought for a moment.

Then, a wide, evil grin spread across her face.

"OK, mother," She said, quietly. "release me from my bonds and I will enter your establishment."

"GET OUT OF THEM YOURSELF!!!" Mrs Brainstorm screeched. "WHERE HAVE I GONE WRONG WITH YOU CHILDREN?!?! YOU CAN'T EVEN GET YOURSELF UNTIED?!?!"

Sheila blinked.

Mrs Brainstorm waited, impatiently, as Sheila struggled with the ropes, and finally got free.

"NOW GET IN HERE!!!" Mrs Brainstorm shrieked, storming into the house.

Sheila hesitated, then walked into the house.

Mrs Brainstorm's house was cram packed with inventions.

Sheila looked around.

She reached for a small display case on one of the stands.

"DON'T TOUCH!!!" Mrs Brainstorm shrieked, angrily.

Sheila reeled back.

"NOW!!! ON THE FLOOR AND GIVE ME TWENTY!!!" Mother Brainstorm ordered.

Sheila looked around.

"Uhh..."

"DO IT!!!" Mother Brainstorm shrieked.

Sheila dropped onto the floor, and starting pushing herself up and down, rapidly.

Mrs Brainstorm crossed her arms and waited.

After the twentieth push up, Sheila sat up, and wiped some sweat from her brow.

"THAT TOOK YOU TWENTY SEVEN SECONDS!!!" Mother Brainstorm screeched. "DO IT QUICKER, NEXT TIME!!!!!"

"Yes, Mother," Sheila muttered.

"NOW WHY ARE YOU HERE?!?!?!" Mother Brainstorm screamed. "I DEMAND TO KNOW!!! OUT WITH IT!!!!"

"Um, well... Frank dropped me off..."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FRANK DROPPED YOU OFF!!! WHY DIDN'T HE COME VISIT ME!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU CHILDREN?!?!?"

Sheila cut her eyes from side to side.

"He had to finish filling out all the papers." She said, finally, crossing her arms.

Mother Brainstorm stared at her.

"What?!?!" She demanded.

"Yeah, the papers." Sheila lied. "Didn't you know?"

"KNOW WHAT?!?!?!"

"Frank's getting ready to put you in a home."

There was a long moment of silence.

Which, basically, is a big event in the Mrs Brainstorm household.

Mother Brainstorm stared Sheila for a long time.

Then, her eyes narrowed to slits.

"We're going to Yellowstone." She growled.

One month later, everything had started turning back to normal in the Calvin and Hobbes household.

Well, as normal as things could get to be more accurate.

Calvin was sitting on his bed, talking to the MTM, and Hobbes was sitting at Calvin's desk, reading a comic book.

Hobbes was paying no attention to Calvin the MTM's conversation, as he continued to read his Captain Napalm comic book.

Suddenly, Calvin turned to Hobbes.

"Hobbes?"

"Hmm?" Hobbes asked, looking up from his comic book.

"MTM tells me that you're starting loose faith in him!"

"Him?" Hobbes asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, and I believe that's totally rude." MTM said.

"What makes you say that?" Hobbes asked.

"I scanned your brain waves." MTM yawned.

"You what?!" Hobbes yelled, reeling back in horror.

"Well what am I supposed to do?" MTM demanded. "Your constantly bombarding me with brain waves! what do you expect me to do with them?"

"You read my mind?!" Hobbes yelled, clutching his chest.

"Well, some people may call it that, but I like to refer to it as Brain Energy Scanner." MTM replied.

"Calvin, when did you install that feature into the MTM?!" Hobbes yelled in horror.

"Hobbes, the MTM has always been able to do that." Calvin said.

"WHY?!?" Hobbes demanded.

"Well, if you had the ability to install a brain scanner into a CD player what would you do?" Calvin asked, defensively.

"How much do you know?" Hobbes questioned, turning to the MTM.

"Oh, come off it." MTM said. "Do you think I hold on to every single brain wave I get? I only keep the important ones and toss the others away."

"You kept me thinking that your useless?" Hobbes growled.

"Well, if I was insulting you constantly, would you forget them?" MTM demanded.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Uhhh, forget I said that," MTM said, slowly. "The point is that I am in fact not useless."

"Yeah, Hobbes, come on!" Calvin said. "Don't you remember all the times that the MTM has saved us?"

"Compared to the several million times its nearly killed us?" Hobbes asked.

"Oh, let's not throw mud like that." MTM said, smoothly.

"Listen, Hobbes," Calvin sighed. "The way you act, you'd think that my inventions did nothing but kill us. Do you know how many times we could have been killed but the MTM saved us?"

"No." Hobbes said.

"What about all the times Rupert and Earl have attacked us?" Calvin said, raising an eyebrow. "What saved us?"

"Nothing, as far as I know." Hobbes replied.

Calvin and the MTM sighed.

Dr Brainstorm stood at his computer, pushing buttons, and checking on things on his invention.

He and Jack had long since returned to Yellowstone, and both had practically forgotten Sheila.

They had returned to their regular routine.

"I'VE DONE IT, JACK!!!" Brainstorm screamed, wheeling around from his computer. "NOTHING CAN GO WRONG NOW!!! I'M A GENIUS!!!!"

"Uh huh." Jack said, who was sitting in the lab's lounge chairs, reading a magazine. "Give me a second to call 911 before you turn it on."

Brainstorm glared at him.

"Har har." He growled. "I'll have you know everything is fool proof, this time!"

"Uh huh," Jack said, picking a cell phone off a desk next to him.

"JACK!! PUT THAT PHONE DOWN!!!!" Brainstorm hollered. "I'M NOT GONNA KILL MYSELF, AGAIN!!!!"

"That's nice." Jack said, turning the phone on.

Brainstorm grabbed the phone away from him, and turned it off.

"Ya know, the last time I called them, yesterday, they knew it was you." Jack said. "I was so proud."

"SHUT UP!!!" Brainstorm screamed. "Every time you call them, we have to leave the lab or they'll find us!! DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF HORRORS WOULD OCCUR IF THEY FOUND OUR SECRET HIDEOUT?!?!?!?"

"Frank, we're underneath Old Faithful." Jack sighed. "We're right in front of a never dwindling crowd."

Brainstorm growled, and turned back to his computer.

Then, suddenly, his eyes lit up.

He whirled back to Jack.

"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!!!" He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Then, he spun back to the computer.

Jack sighed and shook his head.

There was a long moment of silence, interrupted only by Brainstorm typing on his keyboard.

Suddenly, the lab started shaking.

"WHOA!!" Brainstorm shouted, the force throwing him off his seat.

Jack was tossed from his lounge chair, and the desk was knocked over as the shaking rumbled out through the whole lab.

"EARTH QUAKE!!" Brainstorm screamed. "TAKE COVER!!!"

"Are you sure its just not your inventions blowing?" Jack asked, calmly.

"I SAID TAKE COVER!!!!" Brainstorm screamed.

The mad scientist then leaped under his desk, and covered his head.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Of course, we could always just activate the Earth Field." He said, reaching over, and pushing a button on the wall.

Slowly, the shaking stopped.

Brainstorm looked around.

"Just checking, but why did you call it an Earth Field?" Jack inquired, raising his eyebrow.

Brainstorm glared at him, and looked up at the monitors.

"That's odd..." He began.

He stood up, and began typing into the monitor.

"There wasn't any shifting in the Earth's plates! That wasn't an earth quake..."

"NO!!! IT WAS ME!!!" Shouted a shrill voice from behind Brainstorm and Jack.

The scientist and robot spun around, and stared into the doorway.

Mother Brainstorm was standing in the entrance way to the kitchen, glaring daggers at Brainstorm and Jack.

Jack turned to Brainstorm.

"Oh and by the way, we have a security breach." He said, blandly.

Brainstorm glared at him.

"Thanks a lot," he growled.

"YOU!!! FRANKLIN J. BRAINSTORM!!!!" Mother Brainstorm screamed, jabbing a finger at Brainstorm.

"Yes, Mommy...?" Brainstorm whimpered, shrinking back.

"HOW COULD YOU PUT YOUR OWN MOTHER IN A HOME!! WHAT KIND OF HEARTLESS BRUTE ARE YOU?!?!?"

Jack rolled his eyes.

Brainstorm stared at his mother.

"What?" He asked, confused. "Where's Sheila?"

Mother Brainstorm whipped around.

"SHEILA!!!GET IN HERE!!!" She screamed.

There was a pause.

"I'm sensing extreme levels of insanity from this person, uh, can I leave?" Jack asked, turning to Brainstorm.

Brainstorm gave him a murderous glare.

"I guess not." Jack said, turning back to Brainstorm's mother.

Slowly, Sheila stepped into the room.

Mother Brainstorm wheeled back to Frank.

"SHEILA INFORMED ME THE SECOND YOU DROPPED HER OFF THAT YOU WERE SIGNING THE PAPERS TO PUT ME IN A HOME!!! HOW COULD YOU?!?!?"

Brainstorm and Jack stared at her.

"What?!" They both demanded in unison.

"YES SHE DID!!!!" Mother Brainstorm screeched. "AND WE CAME OVER HERE AS SOON AS I HEARD!!!!"

"That was nearly six weeks ago!" Jack said.

Mother Brainstorm jabbed a finger at Jack.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS, ROBOT SCUM!!" She shrieked.

"I'm getting really tired of that label." Jack growled, crossing his arms.

"Mother, that was a month ago." Brainstorm said, timidly. "Why did it take you so long to get here?"

"Her car ran out of gas and she didn't want to pay for more." Sheila grumbled. "WHAT'S IT TO YOU?!?!?!?"

Jack leaned against the wall, and rubbed his head.

"Oh god..." He groaned. "Three Brainstorm's in one room. I don't know if my software can take it."

"But, Mother, I would never put you in a home! Sheila lied!!" Brainstorm accused.

"YOU LIE!!!!" Mother Brainstorm screeched. "YOU'VE BEEN PLANNING THIS FOR MONTHS!!!! LURE ME INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY AND THEN HAVE THEM COME AND TAKE ME!!! YOU DIDN'T THINK I'D INFILTRATE YOUR PLAN DID YOU?!?! DID YOU?!?!"

"But I..."

"AND FURTHERMORE THIS LABORATORY IS A DISGRACE!!! IS THIS HOW I'VE BROUGHT YOU CHILDREN UP?!?! YOU CAN'T EVEN MAKE A PARTICLE DISINTEGRATOR RAY!!!"

Brainstorm and Jack exchanged glances.

"Well, can't argue with you, there." Jack said.

Brainstorm's eyes slammed shut.

Sheila cut her eyes from side to side.

Mother Brainstorm was too busy screaming at Dr Brainstorm to notice her. Dr Brainstorm was too busy cowering before her to notice her, and Jack was too busy watching the situation in silent entertainment to notice her.

Oops.

A wide grin spread across her face.

Very quickly, she slipped out of the Main Lab and into the kitchen.

She crept through the kitchen into the launching room where Brainstorm kept his rocket.

She cast an evil grin back towards the chaos in the Main Lab, then opened up the rocket door.

She climbed inside, and slammed it shut.

"Alien boy who calls yourself Calvin, YOUR GOING DOWN!!!" She cackled, revving the engine up.

Uh oh...

"I just can't believe you, Hobbes," Calvin said, as he lead Hobbes outside. "The MTM is the most reliable of all my inventions."

Hobbes stared at him.

"You act like your other inventions are reliable." He said, finally.

Calvin glared at him, as he pulled the wagon out from in front of the car.

"OK, Hobbes, if you don't think the MTM is safe then let's do a little experiment." He said.

Hobbes' eyes went from the MTM in Calvin's hands to the wagon and back to the MTM.

A light came on in his eyes.

"AAAAAAAAUGH!!!!" He screamed, whirling around, and racing back towards the house.

"MTM, force field." Calvin said, blankly.

"Gladly." MTM replied.

Hobbes raced up the stairs towards the front door.

Suddenly, he ran straight into an invisible wall, and stopped.

"NO!!" Hobbes shouted, banging against the force field. "NO!! I WANT TO LIVE!! PLEASE DON'T!!"

Calvin came walking up to Hobbes, staring at him with a bored expression, still holding the MTM.

"PLEASE HAVE MERCY!!" Hobbes begged. "I'm the son of my advices! I have my struggles! My pains! My hobbies! I want to live! I want live! I want to live and love and learn and..."

"Hobbes..." Calvin growled, rolling his eyes.

"What?" Hobbes asked.

"I'm going to use the MTM's coordination system to steer us down Sneer Hill in the wagon."

There was a moment of silence.

"Oh..." He began.

"Well, here come more unnecessary brain wave insults at me." MTM sighed.

"Oh come on you insult us on a daily basis."

"Yeah, that's true." MTM admitted. "So are we going to do this or not you brainless, overbearing, freaks?"

Calvin and Hobbes glared at the MTM.

"Yep, there's more of them." The CD player said.

Meanwhile, Sheila had just arrived at Calvin's neighborhood.

She flew the rocket high above the clouds, examining various screens and radar, and looking around.

"Hmm," She said, looking out of the ship. "All sensors indicate that the alien boy is straight down below me. TAKE ME DOWN!!"

Sheila grabbed a lever and yanked it forward.

Suddenly, the rocket stopped, and did a nose dive into the clouds.

She glared down at the neighborhood, looking for Calvin's house.

"Computer find him!" She ordered. "FIND HIM!!!! FIND HIM NOW!! NOW, I TELL YOU!!! WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?!?!?!?"

"Searching." A automated voice replied.

Sheila glared at the machinery around her.

"Specified persons found." The computer said, suddenly.

Sheila looked up.

"Open visual." She ordered. "I SAID OPEN VISUAL!!!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!?!?!?!"

Suddenly, one of the screens went blank, and a picture of the United States came up.

The monitor zoomed in on one particular state, onto one particular town, onto one particular neighborhood, then onto one particular house.

"Locked on!" She said.

"Confirmed." The computer said.

Sheila grinned evilly.

"FIRE!!!!!" She shouted, slamming her fist into a big red button in the middle of the console.

Calvin and Hobbes were at the top of Sneer Hill with the MTM.

"Okay," said Calvin. "By using the MTM, we should be able to get down Sneer Hill without any crashes, without falling off any cliffs, and no more falling into the river."

"Right," said Hobbes. "We'll instead be blown to pieces by a bomb."

"Hobbes, don't be ridiculous!" Calvin sighed. "The MTM doesn't have bombs! It is lasers or nothing!"

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes, that is so!"

"Then what's that?" Hobbes asked, pointing at the sky.

Calvin looked up and stared.

A missile was heading straight for them.

There was a pause.

"ACTIVATE THE TURBO DRIVE!" Calvin screamed.

There was another pause.

Calvin glared at Hobbes.

"That's you, numbskull!" he yelled.

"Oh, right."

Hobbes got out and got the wagon going down the hill, and once they had enough speed, he jumped back in.

The missile hit the ground where they had once been…

…but it didn't blow up.

It was just a giant hunk of middle of the ground.

What do you expect? It's Dr Brainstorm's bomb.

Calvin and Hobbes rocketed down the hill.

Calvin was trying to steer desperately.

"Hobbes, I'm gonna need you to listen to the MTM's coordinates so that we can get out of here alright!" he shouted, handing Hobbes the CD player.

Hobbes stared at MTM.

"What's up, dude?" MTM said cheerfully.

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

"How do I follow coordinates?" he asked.

"I'll talk you through it," MTM replied. "Bearing three-niner-three degrees northwest."

Hobbes raised an eyebrow.

MTM sighed.

"Turn left," MTM translated.

"Turn left!" Hobbes screamed.

Calvin jerked the handle to the left.

The wagon tipped slightly as it swerved around a tree.

"Turn towards that log over there!" MTM said.

Calvin turned the wagon over a log that drove over a ditch.

A second not-blowing-up bomb landed on the log a second after they left, snapping it in two.

"Turn towards that hill," MTM ordered.

Calvin turned towards a slope that went up a little bit.

However, once they reached the top, they found the hill was long way down and ended in a cliff.

"Huh," said Calvin. "I think we've found the setting for the next Winter Olympics Ski Division."

"I hate you," Hobbes muttered.

The wagon suddenly regained speed and plunged down the steep hill.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" they screamed.

"Sissies," MTM muttered.

They reached the jump and flew into the air.

"MOMMY!" Hobbes screamed.

As they soared into the sky, Calvin grabbed MTM.

"MTM! WHY'D YOU TELL US TO GO DOWN THAT HILL?!" he screamed.

"Well, I figured you were curious who was firing those missiles," MTM replied. "The only way to get a good look would be to go up in the air. And I was picking up some mind waves from this direction. We're getting closer."

"How close are we?"

CLANG!

Calvin and Hobbes looked around.

They had landed on top of a rocket.

They stared into the cockpit windows.

Sheila was glaring back at them.

"Oh, look," said Hobbes. "The greater of two evils."

Sheila grinned evilly and turned the rocket to the left.

The wagon slid off.

Calvin and Hobbes plummeted back to the Earth.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" they screamed.

Fortunately, they landed in a tree, and bounced off branches all the way down until they finally hit the ground.

"D'OH!" Hobbes moaned. "My poor rear!"

"Forget you butt, Hobbes!" Calvin cried. "Sheila Brainstorm is back!"

Then he pulled MTM back out.

"MTM, we need a fast way out of here!" he ordered.

"Uh-huh," MTM replied. "Activating Fan Feature."

Hobbes attached MTM to the rear of the wagon.

MTM opened up and a giant fan came out.

The force from the wind pushed them forward very quickly.

Calvin managed to steer the wagon and avoid rocks and trees and bushes.

Up above, Sheila was steering the rocket back around and closer towards them.

"Ah-ha!" she said. "Alien boy, your days are numbered! Fire! ATTACK! SHOOT SOMETHING PAINFUL AT THEM! OBEY ME!"

The rocket fired another missile at Calvin and Hobbes.

"WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO DO TO GET SOME DECENT SERVICE AROUND HERE?!?" she roared. "HONESTLY! YOU MAKE KINKOS LOOK DECENT!"

A giant missile came in low.

Calvin quickly swerved out of its path to avoid it.

"ACK!" Hobbes cried.

WHAM!

The giant hunk of metal hit the ground, showering them in the clumps of dirt and grass.

"I'm going to be preening for weeks after this!" Hobbes wailed.

"Forget that!" Calvin shouted. "MTM! Which way do I go?"

MTM scanned the area.

"Keep going straight ahead to the fork in the path and make a left," he instructed.

Calvin did so.

Once they arrived at a fork in the path, Calvin immediately hung a left.

This path, predictably enough, took them to another cliff which sent them sailing off the edge and into a lake at the bottom.

KASPLOOSH!

When everyone emerged in the lake, Calvin and Hobbes glared at MTM, who was sitting in the floating wagon.

MTM paused.

"Or was it to the right…?" he pondered. "Oh! I'm sorry. I was looking at the map upside down."

Hobbes collapsed in the lake, exhausted.

"We're dead," he moaned.

"Not yet," Calvin said, grabbing the wagon and pulling it back to shore. "We just need to get going back on track again, okay?"

Hobbes didn't reply. He just lay there.

"Okay, fine," Calvin sighed. "Don't come with me. Say hi to the blood-sucking leeches for me."

Hobbes immediately leapt from the lake and tore up to the shore and back into the wagon Calvin was pulling.

"Nice to see a change in attitude there," Calvin grinned.

Hobbes grumbled as Calvin towed them away into the forest.

Back at Yellowstone, things were getting worse.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack had taken to hiding under a table while Mother Brainstorm stormed around the place, knocking things over and screaming.

"YOU'RE A HORRIBLE SON!" she hollered. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO YOUR OWN MOTHER?! YOU'RE CRUEL! YOU'RE HEARTLESS! YOU'RE NOT MY SON! I HAVE NO SON! IS THIS THE ONLY KIND OF PIE YOU HAVE?! YOU'RE CHEAP AS WELL!"

There was a pause as she clearly started eating the pie.

Jack sighed.

"I take it she needs more screaming fuel," he said.

Brainstorm only nodded.

"This is going to take forever to clean up," he muttered. "Stupid Sheila. When I get my hands on her…"

Then he noticed something.

"Speaking of which, where is that demon of a sister of mine?" he asked, looking around.

"Eh, I think she decided to leave awhile ago. I didn't think it mattered," Jack replied.

"WHERE'S THE MILK IN THIS PATHETIC LAB?! OH! HERE IT IS! NEVERMIND!"

They listened to her chug the milk jug.

"Oh, that figures," Brainstorm muttered. "I just bought that jug of milk this morning!"

Jack sighed again.

"Frank, we need to do something," he groaned. "I can't stand the very thought of taking much of more of this."

"Dr Brainstorm!" Brainstorm hissed angrily. "And I agree! We must stand up to my mother!"

"AH! TURKEY! FINALLY! WHY DIDN'T YOU COME HOME FOR THANKSGIVING?! I WAS ALL ALONE ON THANKSGIVING!"

Then they listened to her eating the turkey.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"Let's do it now. She's gonna eat us out of lab and home!"

Brainstorm nodded.

They crawled out from under the table.

They saw Mother Brainstorm sitting at the table, her facing buried in a giant turkey.

They carefully approached from the rear.

"Mother…?" Brainstorm asked slowly.

Mrs. Brainstorm looked up.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO! YOU CAN'T SEND ME TO A HOME!"

"Mother, may I just remind of a time when Sheila lied to you about that ding in your car?"

"YES, I REMEMBER IT VIVIDLY!!"

"Okay, and then there was the time that Sheila lied to you about going out with that jerk of a man that one time."

"I REMEMBER THAT AS WELL!"

"Good, and remember that time she lied to you about that money she stole from your purse?"

"I REMEMBER A LOT OF THINGS, FRANKLIN! WHY ARE YOU ASKING? DO YOU BELIEVE I AM LOSING MY MEMORY?! I'M NOT THAT OLD, YOU KNOW!!"

Jack wiped his face clear of the spit that had struck him.

"Well, Mother, I'm trying to remind you of Sheila, and the fact that she was always the liar in the family. I mean, I know we're evil, but Sheila was always the one who would lie to get her way," Brainstorm said.

"AND WHAT'S YOUR POINT?!" Mother Brainstorm screamed.

"Well, who was it that said I was putting you in a home?"

"SHEILA!"

"And what is Sheila known for doing?"

"LYING!"

There was an incredibly lengthy silence.

Dr Brainstorm and Jack stared at her, waiting for that little light to come on.

Then Mother Brainstorm's eyes grew wide in realization, and then narrowed again in fury.

"Get in the car, son," she growled.

Calvin and Hobbes were swerving the wagon around several more times.

They dodged trees and bushes.

Several more not-working missiles landed behind them.

"It's no good!" Hobbes screamed. "We're not going to survive!"

"Maybe we should abandon ship," Calvin wailed.

"No," said MTM. "Use that log over there."

Calvin looked further down the path.

There was a giant hollow log that stretched out across a deep ravine.

"We can hide in there. We'll be out of her sensors," MTM explained.

"What?!" Hobbes shouted. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

There was a pause.

"Let's do it!" Calvin yelled.

Hobbes slapped his forehead in frustration.

Calvin, aiming carefully, drove the wagon into the log.

It was just big enough for Hobbes if he bent his head down a little bit.

And of course, with Brainstorm's pathetic excuse of a rocket, the sensors were unable to penetrate hollow wood, and therefore, Sheila lost track of them.

"WHAT?!?" she shouted. "WHERE'D THEY GO?! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! HOW DARE THEY!?!"

Deciding that it was useless to continue, she found a place to land the rocket.

Once it was on the ground, she started looking around the area.

Calvin, Hobbes and MTM were hidden in the log, watching her quietly.

"I've got an idea," MTM whispered.

Despite Hobbes' silent pleas for him to ignore him, Calvin placed the MTM outside and on top of the log.

MTM saw Sheila, who was facing away.

"Oy!" MTM called.

Sheila jumped and whipped around.

All she saw was a CD player.

"WHO SAID THAT?!" she shouted. "WHO ARE YOU?! SHOW YOURSELF!"

"Iam shown," MTM replied.

Sheila stared at him.

"Ah! The machine, it speaks!" she wailed.

"Yo."

Sheila pulled out a ray gun.

"That doesn't work," MTM said casually.

"OH REALLY?! Just watch."

She pulled the trigger.

Nothing happened.

"Really," MTM said satisfied.

"Well, I'll have you know that I've made far better inventions than this!"

"No you haven't. You're lying."

"I am not! I'M A GENIUS!"

"No you're not. You haven't got a clue. You're useless."

"SHUT UP! YOU KNOW NOTHING!"

"I know you lied to your mum about your brother sticking her in a home so that they'd both be distracted and you could attack us. Am I right?"

Sheila smirked.

"Wrong, actually. Wrong, wrong, wrong! You're so overflowing with wrongness! Totally and utterly wrong!" she said, grinning madly.

"IS THAT SO?!?" a shrill voice yelled.

Sheila froze. She whirled around in horror.

Mother Brainstorm was standing there, one hand on her hip, and the other holding a slice of pizza, with Dr Brainstorm and Jack standing behind her.

Mother Brainstorm glared angrily at her daughter.

"I SHOULD'VE KNOWN!!" she roared, angrily approached Sheila, who nervously backed away. "YOU'RE A SCUM-SUCKING LYING LITTLE GIRL, AREN'T YOU?! HOW DARE YOU LIE TO MY FACE, AND IN MY OWN HOME TOO?!"

"Mother, I was just—"

"DON'T GIVE ME ANYMORE LIES, YOU LITTLE DECIEVER! I WANT YOU TO GO TO YOUR BROTHER'S LAB AND CLEAN UP THE MESS I MADE WHILE I WAS YELLING AT HIM! THEN, WHEN WE GET HOME, I WANT YOU TO DO EVERYTHING I TELL YOU FOR A FULL WEEK!!"

Calvin and Hobbes had climbed out of the log, and they were now watching Sheila getting yelled at.

"YOU'LL MOW THE LAWN! YOU'LL DO THE GROCERY SHOPPING! YOU'LL SCRUB THE FLOORS! YOU'LL CLIP MY THICK YELLOW TOENAILS! YOU'LL BE WATCHING DAYTIME TALK SHOWS WITH ME!!!"

"But Mother, I was only trying to kill the alien boy!" Sheila wailed.

"WHAT ALIEN BOY?!" Mother Brainstorm hollered.

Then she noticed Calvin and Hobbes standing near the log. They waved hello.

"HIM!" Sheila hollered. "ALIEN! ROBOT! TALKING CD PLAYER! EVIL!"

Mother Brainstorm glanced at Calvin and Hobbes again.

They merely shrugged.

Then she glanced over at Brainstorm and Jack.

They simply shook their heads.

Mother Brainstorm glared at her daughter.

"COME ALONG!" she yelled, grabbing Sheila and dragging her away. "YOU'RE GOING TO FIX EVERYTHING IN YOUR BROTHER'S LAB! WE'VE GOT A FULL TANK OF GAS! WE'LL BE THERE SOON!"

Then she turned to Dr Brainstorm and Jack.

"YOU TWO! GET ON WITH IT!"

Brainstorm sighed.

"Yes, Mother," he said, starting to follow.

Then he remembered Calvin and Hobbes. He turned back to face them.

"Oh right. DARN YOU and stuff," he said, trying to save face.

Then he walked away.

Jack waved goodbye to them and got into the car with the Brainstorm family.

Calvin and Hobbes waved goodbye.

The car screeched away.

They heard Mother Brainstorm scream, "WHY ARE THESE SEATBELTS SO SHORT?!"

They rolled their eyes.

"Well, that was interesting," Calvin sighed.

"Yeah," said Hobbes. "At least Brainstorm has an excuse for being stupid."

Then they turned to MTM.

"Excellent job, MTM," Calvin said. "I believe you just saved our bacon."

"Right on, dudes," MTM replied.

Then Calvin looked at Hobbes.

"Well…?" he asked. "Hobbes, what do we say?"

Hobbes sighed.

"Fine," he groaned. "MTM, I'm sorry I insulted you, both vocally and mentally."

"Apology accepted, Hobbes," MTM replied.

"Wait, that's not it!" Calvin said angrily. "I meant apologize to me for insulting my ability to invent!"

Hobbes rolled his eyes.

Later that evening at Yellowstone, down in the lab, Sheila was busily cleaning the lab floors with a toothbrush.

Dr Brainstorm was standing over her angrily.

Jack and Mother Brainstorm were sitting in front of the TV, drinking lemonade.

"STOP!" Brainstorm shouted angrily.

Sheila glared at him.

"YOU'VE MISSED A SPOT! CLEAN IT AT ONCE!" he ordered.

"I'LL CLEAN IT WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT!" Sheila shouted back.

"DO IT NOW!"

"NO!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!!!"

"Yes, mother," they both said.

Mother Brainstorm shook her head and resumed watching TV with Jack.

"Those kids of mine," she sighed.

"They'll grow up at some point," Jack replied reassuringly.

They both clinked their glasses and settled in.

The End

Voice Work:

Pamela Segall Adlon: Calvin
Tom Hanks: Hobbes
Ryan Stiles Socrates (Archive footage)
Andrew Lawrence Andy (Archive footage)
Neil Crone: Dr Brainstorm
Michael Brandon: Jack
Norman Lovett: MTM
Bridget Nelson: Sheila Brainstorm
Mary Jo Pehl: Mother Brainstorm

Coming up next: 62 Percent More Evil