Summary: Jack and his cousinswitch places with Brainstorm and Sheila for a day.
And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Garfieldodie and Swing123
A Day in Your Shoes
Dr Brainstorm was loading up his rocket one afternoon while Jack watched in the corner.
"I'm going to take a daring verbal leap here and ask what we're doing today," he said, leaning against the wall.
Dr Brainstorm whipped around and grinned insanely.
"Jack, we're finally going to destroy Calvin!" he shouted.
Jack rolled his eyes.
"Again?" he sighed.
"INDEED! Today's the day, Jack!"
"Today's been the day for about six weeks now, hasn't it?"
"SHUT UP! WE'RE GONNA BLOW THE PUNK AND HIS ROBOT TO BITS!"
"He's not a robot."
"Whatever. Anyway, I've managed to upgrade my leaf blower into a fully working bazooka!"
Brainstorm held up the leaf blower. It was now decked up to look completely like a bazooka. Whether or not it would actually work was left to be seen.
"What do you plan to do? Muss up his hair?" Jack asked.
Brainstorm glared at him.
"You'll just have to wait and see," he sniffed, sticking his nose in the air.
He tossed the weapon into the rocket, and then he started climbing in.
Jack just stood there.
There was a pause.
"GET IN HERE!" Brainstorm bellowed.
Jack heaved an annoyed sigh and climbed inside the rocket.
Calvin and Hobbes were in the bedroom. Calvin was reading one of his dinosaur books while Hobbes was trying to take a nap.
"Hey! You wanna play dinosaurs!" Calvin asked, looking up from his book. "I could play the ferocious T-Rex, and you can be the mighty brontosaurus!"
"That's not what it's called anymore," Hobbes said, not looking up.
Calvin stared at him.
"Whaddya mean!" he demanded.
"The scientists changed the name," Hobbes said. "It's not called a brontosaurus."
Calvin's jaw dropped.
"What!" he cried. "But how will Fred Flintstone get his Brontosaurus Burgers now!"
Hobbes shrugged.
"Man, science has to mess with everything fun," he sighed.
Then Hobbes' acute hearing picked up something.
"What's that?" he asked, looking up.
"What's what?" Calvin asked, putting his book away.
"It sounds like a plane of some sort flying incredibly low."
Calvin arched an eyebrow and looked outside the window.
"Hand me the binoculars," he ordered.
Hobbes handed him a pair of black binoculars.
Calvin held them up to his eyes and searched the skies. Then he groaned.
"Aw man…," he sighed.
"What is it?"
"It's Dr Brainstorm again."
Hobbes rolled his eyes.
"Huh boy, here we go."
The rocket was now approaching the house. It managed to stop and land in the backyard.
"I'm surprised the neighbors aren't curious as to why that thing has been landing there for the past few months," he commented.
Calvin shrugged and went downstairs, Hobbes following him.
They arrived at the front door and waited with their arms crossed and bored expressions on their faces.
WHAM!
Dr Brainstorm kicked the door open and aimed the leaf blower at them.
"AH HA! CALVIN! I SEE YOU ARE TAKEN BY COMPLETE SURPRISE!" he shouted.
"I'm absolutely shocked, Dr B," Calvin sighed.
Hobbes yawned.
Jack appeared behind Dr Brainstorm.
"Hey, guys," he said, waving.
"Hi, Jack," said Hobbes.
"JACK! STOP INTERACTING WITH THE ENEMY!" Dr Brainstorm shouted.
Jack rolled his eyes.
Calvin saw what Dr Brainstorm was holding.
"The leaf blower again? You're running low on ideas, aren't you, Frank?"
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM! I'll have you know that this thing has been long since upgraded since our last encounter!"
"That was, what, yesterday?" asked Jack.
"SHUT UP!"
Suddenly…
BAM!
Calvin, Hobbes, Dr Brainstorm and Jack jumped in surprise.
They all looked at the wall next to the door. Something had crashed into it.
"What the heck…?" said Calvin.
Finally, the wall cracked and dissolved from the impact of the crash. It tumbled away to reveal…
"SHEILA!" everyone shouted.
Indeed, Dr Brainstorm's younger sister, Sheila, was standing there, holding a gun similar to Brainstorm's.
Jack groaned.
"Oh no…," he moaned, his head in his hands.
"SHEILA! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!" Brainstorm shouted.
"I'M HERE TO DESTROY THE ALIEN BOY AND HIS ROBOT!" Sheila shouted, even louder.
"I'm not a robot!" Hobbes shouted.
Calvin rolled his eyes.
"Why'd you break my wall?" Calvin demanded.
"FRANK AND JACK WERE IN THE WAY OF THE DOOR! I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO SAY 'EXCUSE ME'!" Sheila shouted.
Jack shook his head and walked away.
Calvin and Hobbes watched the Brainstorms yelling.
"YOU WERE ALWAYS THE INFERIOR ONE!" Dr Brainstorm shouted.
"INFERIOR, AM I! PROVE IT!" Sheila shouted back.
"I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE INVENTIONS! I BUILT ALL YOUR WEAPONS! I'M THE ONE WHO HAD TO MAKE YOUR ROBOT ASSISTANT!"
"Sheila has a robot assistant?" Calvin asked.
"YES!" Brainstorm shouted. "AND I HAVE YET TO BE THANKED FOR BUILDING HER!"
"Her!" Hobbes asked.
Since the Brainstorms were too busy yelling, Calvin and Hobbes slunk past them and approached Jack who was waiting outside.
"Jack, what's this we hear about Sheila having a robot assistant?" Hobbes asked.
"Oh yeah, Frank built Sheila a robot when she moved out of their parents' house," Jack said. "She's essentially my cousin."
"Where is she?" Calvin asked. "We'd like to meet her."
Jack paused.
"Well, I dunno," he said. "She's a little different from me. I'm not too sure you two would like her as much."
"Well, let's give her a fair chance," Hobbes said. "Where is she?"
Jack nodded and looked around.
"Jacqueline?" he called.
"Jacqueline?" Calvin repeated.
Suddenly, a robot ran up.
Calvin and Hobbes stared at her in surprise.
"Did she just run to us?" Hobbes asked.
"Hello!" the robot said cheerfully.
Jacqueline was tall and silver like Jack, but she had a smaller nose and was built a bit more feminine-like.
"You're Jack's cousin!" Calvin asked.
"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance," she said, shaking Calvin's hand.
"How come we didn't see you the other two times Sheila was here?" Calvin asked.
"Oh, she likes to think she doesn't need the help of a robot, but I think she needs the companionship," she said.
"Yeah," said Jack. "Frank's a lot more at ease with his dependence on me."
"So, Jacqueline, what do you do?"
"I spend most of my time working on stuff, going out for hikes, and I enjoy swimming," she said.
Calvin stared at her, and then at Jack.
"She's your cousin!" he asked, still surprised.
Jack shrugged.
"Yeah, we have our differences, but we're still pals," he said, putting an arm around Jacqueline's shoulders.
"Wanna go for a five mile run!" Jacqueline asked.
"Are you sure you don't wanna watch TV?" Jack asked.
"How about we just drink soda until we're sick?"
"You're on."
They both pulled out twin cans of soda and leaned against the rocket.
Calvin and Hobbes grinned.
"Oh, now I see it," Hobbes chuckled.
"JACQUELINE! GET IN HERE! I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO!" Sheila shouted.
"Coming!" Jacqueline shouted. She turned to the others. "I'll be right back. This shouldn't take too long."
She hurried over to Sheila.
"Is everything okay, Sheila?" she asked.
"GET THIS STUPID BROTHER OF MINE OUT HERE! I NEED TO DESTROY THE ALIEN BOY!" Sheila screeched.
"HE'S NOT AN ALIEN!" Dr Brainstorm shouted back.
Jacqueline picked Dr Brainstorm up.
"HEY! RELEASE ME!" he shouted.
"Sorry. I'm just following the orders of Sheila the Screech Queen," Jacqueline muttered. She carried Dr Brainstorm out of the house.
"PUT ME DOWN!"
Calvin and Hobbes watched as she walked by.
"I'm impressed," Calvin said. "Hobbes, let's take care of the other Brainstorm."
"Agreed," said Hobbes.
They walked back inside the house.
After a few seconds, Sheila went sailing out of the house and landed in the grass.
"Hey!" she shouted. "HOW DARE YOU! I OUGHTA POUND YOU!"
Jack watched as she tried to go back inside, but she couldn't unlock the door. Calvin and Hobbes watched from the hole in the wall, wondering why she didn't just go through there.
After a few seconds, she grew bored.
"FINE!" she shouted. "I'LL BE BACK FOR YOUR TRANSMITTER, YOU ALIEN!"
And with that, she stormed away.
"AND YOU!" she shouted, pointing at Dr Brainstorm and Jack. "YOU JUST STAY OUT OF MY WAY!"
"HEY, HE WAS MY ENEMY FIRST!" Brainstorm shouted back.
Jack rolled his eyes.
"Come on, Frank," he said. "Let's go home. You can make new plans there, and screw everything up in a new and original way."
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!"
They climbed back into the rocket, and they took off for Yellowstone again.
"JACQUELINE!" Sheila ordered. "TAKE ME HOME!"
"Right away, your incredibly loud majesty," Jacqueline sighed.
Taking a swig from her soda, Jacqueline hoisted Sheila up on her back and carried her away.
"WHEEEEEE! FASTER! FASTER! GIDDYAP!" Sheila cheered.
And they disappeared down the street.
Calvin and Hobbes watched.
"Well, that was more exciting than I thought it would be," said Calvin.
"Maybe we should do something about this wall before your parents get home," Hobbes suggested.
"Hmmm… You might be on to something."
The next day, Calvin and Hobbes were playing in the sandbox. They had fixed the wall yesterday, and they were now playing with Calvin's toy trucks.
As they played, they heard a shout.
"ALRIGHT, CALVIN AND HIS ROBOTIC TIGER! YOUR MINUTES ARE NUMBERED!"
They both groaned and looked up.
"Not again," Calvin sighed.
Dr Brainstorm was now standing before them, holding his Servant Ray.
Jack stood behind him, drinking some lemonade and leaning against a tree.
"SURRENDER YOUR INVENTIONS TO ME AT ONCE!" Dr Brainstorm ordered.
"Uh-huh," said Hobbes. "How about you just go home and take a nap."
"Precisely what I said, Frank," Jack said. "You really should take up meditation."
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!"
But just when Brainstorm was about to attack, something landed on the other side of the sandbox.
They all stared at it.
"Sheila!" Calvin asked.
Just then, Jacqueline ran up.
"Hey, everyone!" she said.
"Hi, Jacqueline," said Jack, waving.
"JACQUELINE! HELP ME UP!" Sheila shouted from the ground.
Jacqueline complied and helped her to her feet.
"THANK YOU! NOW GET OFF OF ME!" she shouted.
"You're welcome," Jacqueline sighed, pulling out some lemonade and leaning against the fence.
"SHEILA! STOP IT! I'M IN CHARGE OF THIS ATTACK!" Dr Brainstorm shouted.
"MAKE ME!" Sheila retorted.
"GO AWAY!"
"NO!"
"GO!"
"NO!"
"GO!"
"NO!"
Calvin and Hobbes watched them bicker for a while before they got bored.
Finally, Calvin pulled the MTM out and pushed a button.
BEEP!
"AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGGHH!" the Brainstorms shouted.
Brainstorm flew through the air in way direction, and Sheila flew in the other.
"See you guys later," said Jack. "Bye, Jacqueline."
"Bye, Jack," said Jacqueline.
And she ran after Sheila.
Jack just walked off.
Calvin and Hobbes sighed and went back to their games.
Brainstorm stormed around the lab angrily.
"I CAN'T BELIEVE SHEILA!" Brainstorm shouted. "SHE IS CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTING MY ATTEMPTS TO DESTROY CALVIN AND HOBBES!"
Jack was watching from the wall he was leaning against.
"Some people…," he said sarcastically, shaking his head.
"Exactly! She must be punished for these deeds! But how!"
Then he realized something. A dark expression clouded his face.
"Jack, prepare every single invention I own," he said.
"What for?"
"Because this…is war!" he said mysteriously.
A few days later, Calvin and Hobbes were coming to the Calvinball field carrying volleyball and a bunch of other sporting equipment.
"Nice day today for a game of Calvinball," Calvin commented.
"Yep, the sun is shining, the grass is soft, the birds are singing, Dr Brainstorm and Sheila have a giant pile of inventions at either end of the field…," Hobbes said, trailing off as he realized what he was saying.
They both dropped everything they were carrying in shock.
Calvin and Hobbes stared at two giants stacks of inventions. There was one at either ends of the field.
"What the heck is going on!" Calvin demanded.
At that moment, Jack and Jacqueline came walking up to them.
"Hey guys," Jack said.
"Hello," said Jacqueline.
"What're those numbskulls doing in our field!" Calvin demanded.
"Yeah, sorry about that," said Jacqueline. "They're sort of engaged in battle."
"WHAT!" Calvin and Hobbes shrieked.
"A-yup," said Jack, pulling out a soda and sitting down on a rock. "It should be a good show."
"What if they get hurt?" asked Jacqueline.
"All the more fun."
Calvin and Hobbes groaned.
Then they heard Dr Brainstorm talking over a megaphone.
"ALL RIGHT, SHEILA!" he shouted. "PREPARE TO BE RENDERED UNCONSCIOUS!"
Sheila replied through her own megaphone.
"VERY WELL, BROTHER! PREPARE TO BE BEATEN WITHIN A FOOT OF YOUR LIFE!"
And with that, there was a loud explosion.
WHAM!
Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline watched as two missiles flew into the air and collided with each other.
"Wow," said Calvin.
"This could take a while," said Hobbes. "Anyone want to go back to our house?"
"Sure," said Jacqueline.
"Meh," said Jack.
They all left the Brainstorms to their war.
Calvin and Hobbes watched television, and in the kitchen, Jack and Jacqueline were drinking cans of soda and jugs of lemonade.
"Sometimes I wonder why I bother with Sheila," said Jacqueline between gulps. "I mean, she has absolutely no respect for me, she's constantly trying to pick a fight, and she gets uptight over anything that doesn't go her way."
"Pfft. That's nothing," said Jack. "Frank never says thank you, he always makes me do the dangerous stuff, he always cowers when something goes slightly wrong, and he's always making stuff that blows up my stuff."
"Honestly," Jacqueline sighed. "Which of the Brainstorms is more insane?"
"Well, I'd aim towards their mother. She's not exactly Ms Manners."
"I meant the ones we work for."
"I prefer the term 'with'," Jack said, taking a swig of soda.
"Whatever! I say we find out once and for all which of our Brainstorms is the most insane."
Jack nodded.
"But how do we do that?" he asked.
Hobbes walked up and started getting things out of the fridge.
"Dare I ask what you two are talking about?" he asked.
"We're trying to figure out which one of our Brainstorms is more insane," said Jack. "Frank or Sheila."
Hobbes shrugged.
"Well, they both have points that exceed over the other," he said, pulling out some bread. "Perhaps you should actually experiment on this."
"How do you mean?" asked Jacqueline.
"Well, you two are sort of the same shape. Maybe you could swap places for a few days and see how the other half lives."
Jack and Jacqueline exchanged glances.
"It might work," said Jacqueline.
"I dunno…," Jack said unsurely. "I'm not sure I could move in with Sheila."
"Oh, it'll be okay! We could switch back at any time!"
Jack paused for a moment.
"Well…I guess we could try it," he decided.
They both got up from the table.
"We're going to go check on the war," said Jack.
"Have a nice day," said Hobbes, who finished his sandwich's construction. He quickly began to devour it.
Jack and Jacqueline arrived back at the Calvinball field, only to find it was littered with all sorts of junk.
They hurried over to Dr Brainstorm, who was loading whatever he could back into his hypercube. He was a burnt charred mess.
"Hey, Frank, how'd the war go?"
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!" he shouted. "Nobody won. We only blew up each other's stuff until we ran out of weapons. What a waste."
"Indeed," Jack sighed. "Say, I don't suppose you'd be willing to let Jacqueline stay with you, would you?"
Dr Brainstorm sighed.
"Oh, just what I don't need," he groaned. "Another worthless robot that constantly annoys me."
There was a pause.
"Is that a yes?" Jack asked.
"Yeah, why not?" Brainstorm sighed, putting his hypercube in his pocket. "But you'll have to share a room. Our guest room blew up last week."
"Oh, actually, she can have my room," Jack said. "I'm going home with Sheila."
Brainstorm stared at him horror.
"What! NO, JACK! YOU CAN'T! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S LIKE!"
"She insane."
There was a pause.
"OKAY, SO YOU DO KNOW WHAT SHE'S LIKE! BUT IT'S FAR TOO DANGEROUS!"
"Will you please relax?" Jacqueline asked. "We're conducting an experiment."
Dr Brainstorm stared at her.
"You're…experimenting?"
The two robots nodded.
Brainstorm grinned.
"Well, Jack, I see that I'm finally rubbing off on you," he said proudly.
"Eew, what a disgusting thought," Jack said.
Brainstorm scowled at him.
"Alright, fine, you can do it," he said. "But only for the sake of science and curiosity."
"Thank you," Jack said.
"We just have one problem."
"What's that?" asked Jacqueline.
"How are we going to convince Sheila to go through with this?"
Just the Sheila stormed up, and she was an equal mess.
"THIS ISN'T OVER YET, BROTHER!" she shouted. "WE'LL CONTINUE THIS LATER. COME ON, JACQUELINE!"
She grabbed Jack by the arm, thinking he was his cousin, and dragged him away.
Jack waved goodbye to Dr Brainstorm and Jacqueline.
"Huh…," said Dr Brainstorm. "That was easy."
He turned to Jacqueline.
"Come on, you, we're going to Yellowstone."
"Whatever you say, Frank," she said.
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!"
VROOOOOOM!
The Brainstorm rocket came in through the lab, and came to a rest on the landing pad.
Brainstorm burst out, screaming insanely.
"OK, JACK! THINGS ARE LOOKING BLEAK! I NEED YOU TO GO TO THE WEAPONRY HOLD AND GATHER EVERYTHING WE HAVE THERE! JACK! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!"
Jacqueline walked down from the rocket, sipping lemonade.
"Jacqueline," She corrected.
Brainstorm stared at her.
"What?" He asked.
"I'm Jacqueline, remember?" Jacqueline said.
Brainstorm blinked.
"Oh, right. WELL I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW WE HAVE A FEW GROUND RULES FOR ROBOTS!"
Jacqueline rolled her eyes.
"RULE ONE! DO WHATEVER I TELL YOU TO DO! RULE TWO! MY NAME IS DOCTOR BRAINSTORM! RULE THREE!"
He paused.
"Uhh... that's about it." He said.
Jacqueline nodded.
"Now, I'm going to be in the main lab inventing something HORRIBLE that will defeat that stupid sister of mine, so that she'll stop bugging me and I can TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"
Brainstorm threw his hands into the air and laughed insanely.
Jacqueline blinked.
Brainstorm turned back to her.
"Oh and if the invention blows up in my face, you have to save me. GOT IT!"
"Sure, Frank." Jacqueline nodded, cheerfully.
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!" Brainstorm screeched.
Meanwhile, Sheila and Jack had just arrived back at Sheila's lab.
In case you're wondering, it wasn't that different from Brainstorm's lab.
There was a giant computer in the main lab with a console surrounding the room. There were inventions littering the ground and there were blue tiles laid out on the floor.
"OK, JACQUELINE!" Sheila screeched. "THAT STUPID BROTHER OF MINE IS PROBABLY STOCKING UP ON THOUSANDS OF WEAPONS RIGHT NOW!"
"Yes, I'm sure he is," Jack said, rolling his eyes.
Sheila whipped around to him.
"SO WE MUST DO THE SAME! JACQUELINE, I NEED YOU TO GATHER ALL OUR WEAPONS TOGETHER AND BRING THEM TO ME! NOW I SAY! NOW! WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR!"
"That's just fine and dandy, Sheila," Jack yawned. "I get right on that after I get a drink. Where do you keep your Pepsis?"
Sheila stared at Jack for a long moment.
"Uh, there in the fridge, where I always keep them. WHY!IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR INTERNAL MEMORY DRIVE!"
"No, I was just testing you," Jack said, casually, strolling past Sheila.
Sheila glared at him as he walked into the kitchen.
"AND WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOUR VOICE!" She screamed after him.
Uh huh.
Hobbes came walking into the living room, holding a plate of tuna with him.
He sat down next to Calvin, who was watching TV, silently.
"So what's the update with Frank and Sheila?" Calvin asked.
"Oh, well, as far as I know, they're still at war." Hobbes said. "Jack and his cousin are trying something out, though."
"Really? What?" Calvin asked.
"Well, they've switched places with Brainstorm and Sheila." Hobbes said. "Just a little experiment to see which one is more insane."
"Huh," Calvin said.
"They've set me in charge of keeping score," Hobbes said. "When the two lunatics attack, again, they'll tell me all the things that happened, then I'll record them, and read them off at the end of the experiment to see which Brainstorm is worse than the other."
"Uh huh," Calvin said. "Really, is there much of a point to that?"
There was a pause.
"Uh... well, scientific curiosity, I suppose," Hobbes said, finally.
Calvin rolled his eyes.
"OK, Jacqueline," Brainstorm hissed, rooting through all the junk before him. "Since that stupid sister of mine thinks that she can destroy Calvin and Hobbes without my say so, we need to think of a BRILLIANT plan to stop her so that I can destroy them!"
"Uh huh," Jacqueline said, sipping on a Pepsi.
"I know it will be tough to plot against your own owner but..."
He paused.
"Well, I'm telling you to. SO LIVE WITH IT!"
"I'm sure I'll be able to," Jacqueline said.
"Good," Brainstorm said, whipping around and picking up a tall pile of paper. "These are all the plans I came up with to defeat her! You go through it, and decide which one is best!"
He handed it to Jacqueline.
Jacqueline set the pile down, and picked up the first piece of paper.
"Launch her into space," She read.
"Right, have her orbit the Earth for a few minutes, and by the time she comes back, millions of years will have past on Earth!" Brainstorm nodded.
Jacqueline rolled her eyes.
She looked at the next piece of paper.
"Trap her in stasis." She read.
"For a few million years and then have the machine let her out!" Brainstorm yelled, throwing his arms into the air.
"Isn't that essentially the same as the other plan?" Jacqueline asked, looking up at Brainstorm.
"No," Brainstorm said, simply.
Jacqueline sighed, picked up the next one, and read over it.
"OK, I pick this one," She said, tapping the paper.
Brainstorm took it.
"Keep returning to Calvin and Hobbes' house, and battling her randomly." He read.
"There," Jacqueline said, starting to jog in place. "Now, I'm going to go on walk. Let me know if you need anything else."
Brainstorm stood there, confused, as Jacqueline ran off, whistling a tune.
"JACQUELINE!" Sheila screeched, insanely. "GET IN HERE!"
Jack strolled into the main lab, sipping on a Pepsi.
"Yo," He said.
"DON'T YOU 'YO' ME!" Sheila screamed, flailing her arms in all directions.
Jack rolled his eyes.
"Now, that stupid brother of mine is trying to destroy that alien boy and his robot!"
"Calvin isn't an alien and Hobbes isn't a robot," Jack said.
"I'm rightfully the one who should destroy them BECAUSE I WANT TO!"
Jack buried his face into his hand.
"Therefore, I need you to come up with a BRILLIANT plan to defeat that idiotic brother of mine! SO GET THINKING!"
"Can't you do that?" Jack asked, rolling his eyes.
"I SAID GET THINKING!" Sheila screeched.
"Whatever," Jack said. "I say you and him should continue to randomly attack each other at Calvin and Hobbes' house."
There was a long moment of silence.
Sheila stared at him.
Then a wide grin spread across her face.
"JACQUELINE, I'M A GENIUS!" She screamed.
Jack heaved a sigh.
"THANKS TO MY GENIUS MIND, I NOW KNOW WHAT TO DO TO DEFEAT MY BROTHER!"
"Uh huh," Jack said.
"IT'S SO INCREDIBLY SIMPLE I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T THINK OF IT BEFORE!"
"I do." Jack said.
"WHAT!" Sheila screamed.
"Can I go, now?" Jack said.
"NO!" Sheila shrieked.
"Good," Jack walked out of the room, with Sheila screaming after him.
Meanwhile, Jacqueline was doing some yoga in the lab while Brainstorm was inventing some weapon to defeat Sheila with.
He paid no attention to Jacqueline as he worked.
Jacqueline reached for her bottle of lemonade, and attempted to take a sip from it, only to realize that it was empty.
"Hmm, I'm out," She observed, looking at the bottle.
She got out of the yoga position she was in, stood up, and walked into the kitchen.
She threw the bottle into the garbage, and took another one out of the fridge.
She took the lid off, and took a long drink from it.
Then, she turned, and walked back into the main lab with it.
Her eyes popped open as she entered the lab.
Brainstorm's invention had, predictably, blown up, and there was now a raging fire on the computer console.
Brainstorm was running around in circles, the top corner of his hair on fire, and he was screaming.
"HELP! FIRE! ALL MY STUFF IS ON FIRE! HELP!" He screamed, flailing his arms in all directions.
Jacqueline stared at Brainstorm in shock as he ran through the lab, screaming.
Then, she dropped her bottle of lemonade, and rushed back into the kitchen.
She grabbed a box of baking soda out of the fridge, and rushed back into the lab.
She ran over to the computer console, and dumped contents of the box onto it.
The fire slowly died, and Jacqueline grabbed the fire extinguisher off the shelf nearby and turned to Brainstorm.
PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST!
"AAAAAAAAAUGH!"
Brainstorm stumbled over, and fires on him went out.
There was a long moment of silence.
"Is that routine?" She panted, wiping sweat from her brow.
"Yes," Brainstorm growled.
Jacqueline rolled her eyes.
"Yeah, I think you're the more insane one," She muttered under her breath.
He stood up, and shook the foam off him.
Then, he stared at the console.
"HEY!" He screamed.
"What?" Jacqueline asked.
"MY BAKING SODA!" He screamed, hysterically. "WHY DID YOU USE BAKING SODA TO PUT THE FIRE OUT? THAT COST ME MONEY!"
"Electrical fire." Jacqueline said. "You're not supposed to use water on those."
There was another moment of silence.
"Oh," Brainstorm said, finally.
Jacqueline rolled her eyes.
"JACQUELINE!" Sheila screamed, frantically. "WHERE ARE YOU!"
"I'm right here," Jack sighed, turning the volume on his ear piece down.
Sheila whipped around.
Jack was sitting in a lounge chair, sipping on a Pepsi, and reading a magazine.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE!" Sheila demanded.
"Reading," Jack said.
"THIS IS THE TIME OF DAY WHEN YOU DO YOUR ROUTINE JOG!" Sheila screamed. "WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU, TODAY?"
"I'm busy," Jack said, trying not to make eye contact with the insane woman.
"WELL STOP BEING BUSY AND GET OVER HERE! I GOT STUFF FOR YOU TO DO!"
Jack sighed, and set his magazine down.
"Yes, master?" He groaned, standing up.
"THAT'S BETTER!" Sheila screeched.
She pointed at the air vent on the floor.
Jack stared at it.
"Yes?" He asked.
"I DROPPED MY SCREWDRIVER DOWN THERE! GO GET IT!" Sheila shouted.
"Ya know, you're the kind of people who make the computer revolution thing seem tempting."
"I SAID GO GET IT!" Sheila screamed.
Jack sighed, and walked over to the air vent.
He took the vent off, and reached inside.
He felt around on the metal floor, but felt nothing.
"It's not down here." He said.
Sheila stared at him.
"What do you mean it's not down there? OF COURSE IT'S DOWN THERE! LOOK HARDER!"
Jack groaned, and reached further into the vent.
"There's nothing down here," He said, glaring at Sheila.
Sheila blinked.
"YES IT IS!" She screamed. "I DROPPED IT DOWN THERE! I ORDER YOU TO LOOK HARDER!"
Jack sighed, and stuck his head into the vent.
He pushed a button on his head, and his eyes began shining like car headlights, lighting up the vent.
He looked up and down the vent, still finding nothing.
"It's not here." He said.
"YES IT IS!" Sheila screamed outside.
Jack rolled his eyes, and began climbing further into the vent.
"You're crazier, without a doubt," He grumbled.
Jack climbed through the vent, looking for Sheila's lost screwdriver.
Sheila stood outside, tapping her foot impatiently.
"Sheila, the screwdriver is not down here," Jack growled. "I'm coming out, now,"
"NO!" Sheila screeched. "STAY THERE UNTIL YOU FIND IT! I AM ORDERING YOU!"
"Yeah, yeah," Jack grumbled, starting to back out of the vent.
He pushed on the floor, trying to get out.
His hands scraped across the floor, and he didn't budge.
He pushed and pushed, unsuccessfully.
"I'm stuck!" He growled, struggling inside the vent. "I can't get out!"
"RIGHT!" Sheila screamed. "YOU CAN'T COME OUT UNTIL YOU FIND MY SCREWDRIVER!"
"No, I'm stuck!" Jack repeated. "I can't get out!"
"Right, you can't come out until you've found it." Sheila said.
"Brainstorm, I'm stuck in the air vent!" Jack shouted, finally.
Sheila blinked.
"I can't get out even if I wanted to, because I can't move!" Jack said.
Sheila stared at the vent, blankly.
"I don't know how to make it any simpler for you," Jack growled.
"Did you find my screwdriver?" Sheila asked.
"Forget the screwdriver! I can't get out!" Jack yelled, struggling to get out of the vent.
"So... no, then," Sheila said, her brow furrowing.
"Look, my feet are sticking out of the vent still, would you please pull me out?" Jack sighed.
"Where's my screwdriver!" Sheila shouted, frantically.
Jack slapped his forehead.
"Okay, I found it!" He said, finally. "Could you pull me out, now?"
Sheila paused.
"Oh, whatever," She said, finally.
She walked over, and took hold of Jack's feet.
She gave them a hard yank, and Jack popped out.
"Thanks," Jack growled, annoyed.
Sheila looked up at the computer console.
"Hey!" She said, pointing. "There's my screwdriver! It was there the whole time. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT!"
Jack stared at Sheila for a long throbbing moment.
He decided to say nothing.
Meanwhile, Brainstorm was at his desk, frantically inventing something that might defeat Sheila.
"JACK!" Brainstorm paused. "–queline... WHERE'S MY SCREWDRIVER!"
"I think it's on top of the refrigerator," Jacqueline said, who was currently jogging on a treadmill.
Brainstorm stared at her.
"What's it doing up there?" He demanded.
Jacqueline shrugged.
"WELL GET OFF THAT STUPID TREADMILL AND GET IT FOR ME!" Brainstorm screeched.
Jacqueline sighed, and hopped off the treadmill.
She jogged into the kitchen, extended her legs out to the fridge, and fetched the screwdriver.
Brainstorm stood in the main lab tapping his foot impatiently as Jacqueline came jogging back inside.
"Thanks," Brainstorm grumbled.
"Your welcome," Jacqueline said, sweetly, jogging back to the treadmill.
Brainstorm grumbled to himself, and turned back to the invention.
He applied the screwdriver and went to work.
Then, finally, he threw it aside, and screamed, "I'VE DONE IT! THE DEFEAT-O-MATIC IS COMPLETE! I'M A GENIUS!"
"Yes, of course you are," Jacqueline said, not looking up.
"AH! FINALLY! RECOGNITION! JACQUELINE! GET INTO THE BRAINSTORM ROCKET! WE'RE GOING TO THAT GRINNING HILL TO DEFEAT SHEILA!"
Jacqueline sighed, and turned the treadmill off.
"How do you know Sheila's going to be there?" She asked.
Brainstorm paused.
"JUST GET INTO THE ROCKET!" He screamed finally.
"OK," Jacqueline sighed, following Brainstorm to the launching pad.
"JACQUELINE!" Sheila screamed.
"What now?" Jack groaned, looking up from his magazine.
"I've done it!" Sheila screeched, running over to Jack. "I've invented a machine so intensely powerful that not even my stupid brother can defeat it!"
"Uh huh," Jack said.
"I CALL IT THE SIBLING DEFEATER!" Sheila screamed, whipping out a large silver gun like device.
"Of course you do," Jack yawned.
"NOW EVERYTHING IS IN PLACE! NOW WE HAVE TO GO THAT GRINNING MOUNTAIN OVER BY THE ALIEN'S HOUSE AND DEFEAT THAT STUPID BROTHER OF MINE SO I CAN KILL THE ALIEN BOY AND TAKE OVER THE WORLD!"
"Uh huh," Jack said.
"I ORDER YOU TO CARRY ME THERE!" Sheila ordered.
Jack growled.
"I'm am not carrying you," he said, rubbing his temple.
"I AM YOUR MASTER!" Sheila screamed. "AND I ORDER YOU TO CARRY ME! CHOP, CHOP!"
Jack glared at Sheila.
Calvin and Hobbes pulled the wagon up Sneer Hill.
"OK, Hobbes," Calvin said. "This will be the wagon trip to top all wagon trips!"
"Uh huh," Hobbes said. "So you mean we're going to try and go off every single cliff here, right?"
"Yep," Calvin nodded.
They carried the wagon up to the top of the hill.
But before they could get in, and go down the hill, the ground started shaking.
BOOM!
"WHOA!" Hobbes yelled, stumbling backwards.
"What was that?" Calvin growled, looking around.
"DIEE SHEILA!" Screamed a voice.
"NO! YOU DIE!" Screamed another voice.
Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.
"Oh," They both said in unison.
Calvin and Hobbes walked around one of the hills, and spotted Brainstorm and Sheila battling each other crazily with their new inventions.
Jack and Jacqueline were off by themselves, talking back and forth.
Calvin and Hobbes walked up to them.
"Hey Jack. Jacqueline." Calvin said, casually.
"Yo," Jack said, holding up a hand in greeting.
"Hi," Jacqueline said, cheerfully.
"So, what's the scoop on the experiment?" Hobbes asked, eagerly.
"Well, Sheila had me think up a plan so she take credit for it, she got me stuck in the air vent, I had to carry her here, and she keeps referring to me as 'That metal thing my idiot brother made'." Jack said, rubbing his head.
"I didn't have it any better," Jacqueline sighed. "Frank set fire to the lab three times and I thought we were going to run out of baking soda, then he keeps asking me to fetch tools that he has strewn throughout the place, I constantly have to save him when he gets his leg stuck inside his lab coat, and he was constantly forgetting that I wasn't Jack, and when I reminded him, he would accuse me on spying on him for Sheila."
Calvin and Hobbes exchanged glances.
Suddenly, a large piece of charred metal landed a few feet away from Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline.
CLANG!
"HEY!" Brainstorm screeched. "I SPENT FIVE MINUTES ON THAT THING!"
"GOOD! I HOPE YOU'VE LOST THAT TIME FOREVER!" Sheila screamed back at him.
"So," Jack said, trying to ignore them. "Which Brainstorm is more insane?"
There was a long moment of silence.
Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline stared off into space for a long throbbing moment, interrupted only by Brainstorm and Sheila's screams back and forth at each other and explosions made by their inventions.
"Sheila," They said in unison, nodding their heads.
Suddenly, there was an extra large explosion, and Brainstorm suddenly landed in front of the four.
"OOF!" he grunted, landing in the grass.
He was covered in ash and soot, his lab coat was ripped, and his hair was messed up
He leaped to his feet, and whipped out his Servant Ray.
"SERVANT RAY! HOLD HER OFF FOR A MOMENT!"
Nothing happened.
There was a pause.
"DON'T HOLD HER OFF FOR A MOMENT!"
Suddenly, rockets shot out of the tip of the gun, and flew towards Sheila, who was trying to pump up her Servant Ray.
Brainstorm whipped around to the robots.
"JACK!"
"I'm Jacqueline," Jacqueline said.
Brainstorm whipped around to other robot.
"JACK!"
"What?"
"THINGS ARE LOOKING BLEAK! THAT STUPID SHEILA COPIED MY SERVANT RAY TECHNOLOGY AND THAT SIBLING DESTROYER IS TOO POWERFUL! WHAT DO WE DO!"
"Give up." Jack suggested.
"OH, SO YOU'RE TAKING HER SIDE, HUH!"
"No, I just want to go back home," Jack said. "I have a show coming on."
Brainstorm grumbled, and turned to Calvin and Hobbes.
"I WILL DESTROY YOU!" He screamed, frantically, pointing at them.
And with that, he rushed back into battle.
"Yeah, I think this chain of attacks should end, soon," Jacqueline commented. "Otherwise, we'll have to rename the show Dr Brainstorm and Friends."
Calvin and Hobbes nodded.
Suddenly, Sheila came running up.
She didn't look to good, either.
"JACQUELINE!" She screamed.
"I'm Jack," Jack said.
Sheila whipped around to Jacqueline.
"JACQUELINE!"
"Yes?" Jacqueline said.
"HIS DEFENSES ARE TOO POWERFUL! I CAN'T KEEP UP THE FIGHT MUCH LONGER! WHAT DO WE DO!"
"Give up?" Jacqueline suggested.
"NEVER!" She screamed.
She jabbed a finger at Calvin.
"I'LL DESTROY YOU, YET, ALIEN TRANSMITTER BOY!"
Calvin rolled his eyes.
Sheila rushed back off into battle.
Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline watched for a while, then pretty soon, Brainstorm and Sheila ran out of weapons, again.
"JACK!" Brainstorm screamed, running up. "THE BATTLE IS OVER!"
"Really?" Jack said, sarcastically. "Who won?"
"Nobody!" Brainstorm growled. "We ran out of weapons, again."
Calvin, Hobbes, Jack and Jacqueline rolled their eyes.
Suddenly, Sheila came running up.
"OUT OF MY WAY!" She screamed, shoving Brainstorm away.
Brainstorm glared icily at Sheila, and gritted his teeth.
Then, he turned, and went to loading up the Brainstorm rocket.
"JACQUELINE!" Sheila screamed. "THE BATTLE IS OVER!"
She whipped around to Brainstorm.
"BUT THE WAR RAGES ON!" She screeched.
Back to Jacqueline.
"WE HAVE TO GO HOME AND DEVELOP A NEW PLAN OF ACTION!"
"Okay," Jacqueline nodded.
"GOOD! TAKE ME HOME!"
Jacqueline sighed, as Sheila rushed off in the other direction.
"We have to get a teleporter," She sighed.
"Well, Jacqueline, it was good to see you, again," Jack said, happily, patting Jacqueline on the back.
"You to, Jack," Jacqueline said, cheerfully. "Calvin, Hobbes. It was a pleasure to meet you."
"Same here," Calvin and Hobbes nodded.
Calvin and Hobbes shook hands with Jacqueline.
Sheila looked back around from behind a rock.
"JACQUELINE! GET OVER HERE!" She screeched.
"See you, boys," Jacqueline said.
And with that, she jogged off after Sheila.
There was a moment of silence.
Then, Brainstorm came running up to Jack.
"Alright, Jack, let's go! We have stuff to do!" he shouted.
He paused.
"Youare Jack, right?" he asked.
Jack nodded.
"Good. Let's go."
He turned to Calvin and Hobbes.
"YOU WILL DIEEEEEE!" He screamed, hysterically.
"Uh huh, see you Frank," Calvin said.
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!"
Jack waved goodbye to Calvin and Hobbes, and climbed into the rocket with Brainstorm.
There was a blast of fire as the rockets kicked in, and suddenly, the Brainstorm rocket lifted off the ground, and blasted off towards Yellowstone.
Calvin and Hobbes watched them go.
There was a moment of silence.
"Well," Calvin said. "Where were we?"
"We about to commit suicide and ride that wagon down the hill." Hobbes said.
"Ah, yes," Calvin remembered. "Then, let's go, old buddy! Before the wagon decides to go without us!"
Calvin and Hobbes rushed back to the wagon.
They hopped inside, Calvin holding the handle.
"Well, Hobbes, here we are at Dismemberment Gorge!" Calvin said.
"I wish you'd quit calling it that," Hobbes said.
"Right at the mountain's mercy!" Calvin continued. "Many have tried to ride this hill but have suffered terrible deaths in doing so! Now the future of the human race lies in our hands! We will ride this death trap all the way through, and see it to the end!"
"Uh huh," Hobbes said.
"Why do we attempt such a dangerous and perilous hill you ask?"
"Because we're being paid, I hope" Hobbes guessed.
"BECAUSE IT IS THERE!" Calvin shouted, his fist going to the sky. "Now, engage hyperdrive!"
Hobbes saluted, and began pushing against the ground.
The wagon slowly started moving forward, and Hobbes jumped back inside.
Then, the wagon suddenly bolted down the hill as gravity kicked in.
"WWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Calvin and Hobbes both cheered.
The End
Voice work
Pamela Segall Adlon Calvin
Tom Hanks Hobbes
Neil Crone Dr Brainstorm
Michael Brandon Jack
Bridget Nelson Sheila Brainstorm
AnnaSophia Robb Jacqueline
Coming up Next: Let Us Prank The Fool