Chapter 49 – Tired of Pretending

Nothing had turned out the way it had been planned. The move was a solemn, quiet one, with little cheering and happiness to go around. The kids quietly moved into their new orphanage with a sense of grief, helping to unpack the boxes only when asked to from Jade or Tea. And even though the two should have tried to make the move a bit more cheerful, they themselves weren't feeling up to the task. It was too much to ask for, especially with the stress of now unpacking everything.

The doctor's words may have been a bit too unrealistic, Tea now realized, for it had been four days since she first visited Seto, and he was still in the same condition as he was that night. As far as she knew, he was just lying in bed, unconscious and shut off from the rest of the world. To say that her and Jade were worried would be an understatement; Jade had broken down the night of the incident, scared over Seto's condition. Mokuba was taking the news as best he could, but he had skipped two days of school to sit in the hospital room, never leaving his brother's side until Dr. Kelan forced him to go home.

Things on the whole were depressing. The kids, rather than swimming happily in their new pool or playing their new games, sat in a circle and merely played cards, one or two of them eyeing the phone every so often, awaiting the call from the doctor that would or would not come. The orders had been simple: call the orphanage if he's dead. No news was good news at the orphanage. The kids didn't know this; they were simply told to keep an ear out for the phone to ring. But Tea and Jade knew damn well that if that phone rang, the kids would be able to sense the grief just as well as anybody would.

It was sad, now that Tea thought about it, as she watched the kids play their game in the silence of the large living room, designed by the one now in a hospital bed. This move was supposed to be a turning point in their lives, a chance for them to be happy once again and gain the opportunities they so craved. Now they merely sat, huddled together, waiting for a call that meant the absolute worst. Looking at them, she was forced to hold her tears back, knowing that they felt just as crushed as she did. Jade wasn't in the room; she had gone upstairs to unpack the kids' stuff. At first, the plan had been to have the kids unpack their own possessions, giving them a first-hand taste of the new responsibilities they would be getting. Instead, Jade took on that role, knowing that unpacking would be the only thing keeping her mind off of Seto.

What was worse was the reaction to the whole incident. The two criminals had been caught at the crime scene, their faces plastered on every television screen in the city. The two that shot the infamous Seto Kaiba, whom everyone now knew was lying in a hospital bed, were made into celebrities overnight. Nobody knew where he had been shot, as the police did an excellent job of protecting those involved (at Jade's command, of course), but the first two days had been absolutely brutal. The front of the hospital had been littered with television crews until the manager of the place came out and excused them all, stating that if they didn't leave it would hinder the services available and cause problems with patients. Everyone wanted to know why and how the CEO of KaibaCorp got shot, reminding Jade, Tea, and all the children that he was still celebrity eye-candy to the rest of the world.

Glancing down at the children, Tea slowly looked around to see Lilith sitting next to Caterina, the latter holding the former's hand, as Lilith mutely watched the card game unfolding. Tea couldn't feel worse for her, as her heart ached every time she looked at the girl. She seemed to have been affected the most by the shooting, and it was perfectly understandable why. Not one word had been spoken by her since the incident, and Jade had made sure to keep a closer eye on her, making sure the kids were especially nice to her and that she ate and slept normally. Tea knew the girl felt guilty for the incident but had been too busy helping Jade unpack and calming Mokuba down (as she now went home to the Kaiba mansion per Mokuba's request) that she had been unable to talk to the girl about it.

"Maybe I should talk to her now," she thought miserably, leaning back into the couch. "I know it's a bad subject, but I really don't want her feeling like it's her fault. She seems so distraught over it, and I can't blame her. She was right there when it happened…when he was shot…"

Tea shivered before shaking her head. "No, I have to think positive. Dr. Kelan said he wouldn't let Seto die, and I trust him with Seto's life. It's just…the wounds were fatal. Did I honestly think he would just wake up the next day with a smile on his face and act as though nothing happened? No… That's just the façade he puts on for the rest of the world to buy into. I've seen that with the car chase we were involved in. Did I… Did I buy into it too?"

"Please don't cry, Miss Tea," a small voice stated, making Tea look down to see Lilith staring up at her. She blinked in surprise as she touched the side of her cheek only to feel a tear drop falling. Wiping it away, she smiled down at the girl and patted the seat next to her.

"I'm okay, don't worry," she assured the girl, watching as she crawled up onto the couch and leaned against Tea. "I just feel sad that you guys couldn't enjoy moving into this place like we wanted you to."

It wasn't honest, and Tea could tell that Lilith didn't buy it, for she looked up at Tea and asked, "Are you sure Big Brother will be okay?"

It took all her will power to hold back the tears as she smiled sadly down at the girl. "Yes, he's in very good hands at the hospital. I know he'll be fine." Feeling Lilith begin to shiver, she frowned and asked, "Are you cold?"

"N-No… I just…" Lilith grasped Tea tightly around the waist and began to sob into her shirt, and Tea bit her lower lip as she patted the girl on the back, hoping to calm her down. Several of the kids looked over to see what was happening, stood up, and walked over to calm her down as well, whispering things like 'don't worry, he'll be fine' and 'I'm sure he'll be back soon.' Yet all of them held the same amount of fear in their voices. Nobody, not even Tea, knew whether that statement held any truth in it or not.

"It's all my fault," she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stared up at Tea. "If I had run inside like everyone else, Big Brother wouldn't be dying right now. He wouldn't be—"

"Lilith, please," Tea begged, stopping her rant. "He isn't dying. He won't die, I promise you that. Don't think of him as dying. We can't think like that about him. We need to think positive about him. And it's not your fault, Lilith. You did what you felt was right, and that's all we can ask of you."

"B-But…if I hadn't slowed down…"

"What's the matter?" a sudden voice asked, making everyone turn around to see Jade walking into the living room. She glanced down at Lilith and frowned, realization hitting her. "Is she alright?" she whispered.

"She blames herself for the shooting," Tea explained, wrapping her arms tighter around the girl. "What she needs to realize," she added somewhat playfully, hoping to sound hopeful and a bit optimistic, "is that she isn't the one that shot Seto. No, Seto defended her because he cared about her, and she isn't to blame in this situation."

The kids all nodded in agreement, most likely hoping to cheer themselves up as well as Lilith, who was slowly nodding her head. "I-I… When Seto gets better, can I go see him?"

"Yeah, can we go visit him?" Brethor asked, pleading Jade with his eyes more than his voice, which was barely above a whisper. Jade smiled and nodded her head, making all the kids smile for the first time in four days.

"In fact, why don't you kids do something special for him?" she stated, making them all look up at her in confusion. "I don't know. Maybe you can make him a giant card or send him a present or something."

"Yeah, let's make him a card!" Harem exclaimed. Everyone nodded their heads in agreement, including Lilith, who had let go of Tea but still leaned against her.

"I'll go and get the supplies for you kids," Jade stated, turning around and heading towards the study. "I want all of you to gather in the dining room for this; we have a big enough mess as it is unpacking everything." The kids soon ran towards the dining room, Caterina grasping Lilith's hand.

"Come on, Lilith. We should help out."

Lilith slowly looked from Caterina to Tea, and Tea smiled and nodded her head. "Go on, it's alright." Lilith then slid off the couch and followed behind her friend into the dining room, where the kids were getting situated. Feeling another tear fall, Tea quickly wiped it away when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright, dear," Jade whispered as she pursed her lips together. "You can head home if you want to. It's starting to get late, and I'm sure Mokuba's in no better condition than we are. Maybe we can take the kids over to visit tomorrow. How does that sound?"

It was all Tea could do to not break down right then and there. A fifth day of Seto lying cold in that bed…could she handle seeing her boyfriend like that? "That sounds good," was all she said before standing up and walking over to the coat rack next to the doorway, putting her black coat on and waving good-bye to the kids. "Call me if you need me," she told Jade before shutting the door behind her and walking towards her car.

Placing the key in the ignition, Tea leaned forward and burst into tears. "Those kids are so miserable, Mokuba is miserable, Jade is miserable…and I'm miserable," she thought as she leaned back into the seat, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Seto, please. You have to wake up soon. I don't know how much longer we can go on like this. Just…please…"

Tea quickly shook her head and backed out of the orphanage, turning her attention to the road as she began driving to the Kaiba mansion. "I wonder if Mokuba's in bed yet…" she thought, glancing down at the digital clock that read 8:45. "He's been going to bed early lately…most likely because he can't help but worry about Seto. He's almost been as bad as Lilith, although he doesn't blame himself for the incident. Poor Lilith… I wish I could comfort her somehow, but I can't. How am I supposed to be a good mother to her if I can't even comfort her?!" A new set of tears began to fall, but Tea made no move to wipe them away.

"I'm tired. That's just it. I'm sick and tired of pretending to be positive. Lilith was right. Seto is dying in a fucking hospital, and here I am lying to these kids about his condition. But what am I supposed to do? If I tell them the truth, they'll be even more miserable, and that…that just isn't fair to them. I can't keep this up, though. I can't keep going on like this. I'm already starting to break down, and I can tell Lilith, Jade, Mokuba, and the kids are reaching their limits as well. We can't keep doing this. We can't—"

A sudden noise made Tea jump, and she slowly stopped at the red light before taking her cell phone out. Not recognizing the number, she decided to let it go when she accidentally dropped it on the floor of the car. "Shit," she mumbled, picking it up and hearing a voice on the other end.

"Tea? Miss Gardner?" Tea gasped in recognition and quickly held the phone up to her ear.

"Dr. Kelan?!" she exclaimed, feeling as though she hadn't heard his voice in ages.

"Hello, Miss Gardner. Am I interrupting anything right now?"

"No, not at all. I-Is everything all right?"

"Yes, things are fine here," he stated, and Tea frowned at the tone of his voice. It sounded very blasé and nonchalant, something that she wouldn't expect from a respected doctor.

"Is there something wrong then?" she asked, wondering why the doctor would call her up. "Has his condition improved or…"

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You see… I was wondering if you could come to the hospital. There's something we need you to see."

Tea felt her heart drop into the pit of her stomach. He's dead was her first thought as her hands began to shake. "W-Why? W-What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, Miss Gardner," he answered, his voice taking on a more serious tone. "We just need you to come in and check on something very quickly. I promise you it won't take long, but it's imperative that you come."

"What the hell is going on?" Tea thought as she looked at her phone in confusion before placing it back to her ear. Turning her turn signal on, she quickly made a right and said, "Okay, I'm heading over now."

"Thank you, Miss Gardner. I will see you soon." The line went dead, and Tea slowly closed her phone and put it back in her pocket.

"If there's nothing wrong…what does he want from me? Does he want to know more about what happened? But it's been four days since he was shot! What is going on?" Sighing, Tea made another turn and thought, "Guess I'll find out soon enough."