And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Part one written by Garfieldodie
Attack of the Monsters
Calvin was sitting in his room one morning fiddling with a computer microphone.
"Come on, come on…," he muttered, taking a pair of wire cutters.
Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and MTM were sitting nearby, playing cards and reading comic books.
Calvin carefully cut a wire.
ZAP!
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
Hobbes looked up.
Calvin had accidentally shrunk himself.
"Socrates, it's your turn," he said, turning back to his cards.
Socrates nodded. He picked up the Mega-Shrinker 5000 and zapped Calvin with it, restoring him to normal height.
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Calvin muttered something, snatched the Mega-Shrinker back from Socrates, and then he resumed what he had been doing previously.
"Calvin, you've been at this for three days," Andy complained. "When can we go home?"
"Once I'm done upgrading the Mega-Shrinker 5000!" Calvin retorted.
The others groaned.
"Calvin, you've been trying to do that for months," said Hobbes. "Just call it a day, will ya?"
"Look, it's a matter of getting rid of stress and frustration," Calvin replied.
"It's not working so far," Socrates said. "Got any threes?" he asked Andy.
"Go fish," said Andy.
Calvin rolled his eyes.
"I'm sick and tired of having to look for a headphone jack every time I need to shrink something," he said. "I'm trying to make it wireless as an alternative."
"Can't you just use MTM?" asked Hobbes. "He's a CD Player. He has a headphone jack."
"I'm not PC compatible," MTM replied. "That's a Windows Software computer microphone, and long story short, I don't do Windows."
The others rolled their eyes.
Calvin went back to work.
There was a pause.
Calvin then reconnected the previously cut wire, and then rerouted another one.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
"MTM, it's your turn," said Hobbes.
MTM activated his manipulator arms, and managed to unshrink Calvin.
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Calvin glared at them, and then resumed work.
Then they heard a low grumbling noise from under the bed.
"What's that?" asked Socrates.
"Oh, it's just the monsters under my bed," Calvin replied. "Just ignore them. They get a little antsy at this hour."
"You've got monsters under your bed?" Andy asked. "Does Homeland Security know about this?"
"We've just gotten used to them over the years," Hobbes said. "They usually shut up when we throw old banana peels and coffee cans and junk like that under the bed at them."
"Interesting diet," Andy commented. "You won't get that with Atkins."
"ACK!" Calvin cried.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
"I'll get him," Hobbes sighed.
He reached over and flipped a switch on the Mega-Shrinker, and he enlarged Calvin.
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Calvin glared at them and took the Mega-Shrinker back.
"I'll get this thing fixed if it's the last thing I ever do!" he declared.
"That might be sooner than you think," Andy said.
Calvin pulled out the wire cutters again.
This time, he cut a different wire, and this caused the end to extend.
SHIIK!
Calvin looked happier now.
"Wait, I think I've got it this time!" he exclaimed.
Calvin then pressed a button on the side.
SHIIK!
The end retracted again.
"Okay, now one more time…," he said.
SHIIK!
The end had extended.
"Now let's see what would happen if…"
Calvin hit the SHRINK switch. He aimed at a radio.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
"Andy, it's your turn," Hobbes without looking up.
"I've got it!" Calvin cried.
They all looked up.
Calvin flipped the switch to UNSHRINK.
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
This, in turn, enlarged the radio back to normal size.
"YES!" Calvin cheered.
In his excitement, he accidentally shrunk the others.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
"ACK!" they screamed.
Calvin looked back over at the bed and saw them.
Well, sort of. They were really small now.
"Oops," he said sheepishly.
He quickly reset the switch and aimed it at them again.
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Hobbes, Socrates, Andy and MTM grew back to normal size.
Hobbes glared at him.
"There, happy now?!" he demanded.
"Yes, actually," said Calvin smugly. "After months of hard work, I've finally completed my wireless Mega-Shrinker 5000!"
"Alert the media," Andy replied, picking his cards up.
Calvin then thought of something.
"You know, maybe I should rename it!" he said thoughtfully. "After all, such a monumental moment deserves such recognition!"
"Calvin, you really put the mental in monumental," Andy sighed.
Hobbes and Socrates snickered while Calvin glared at him.
"Thank you, Andrew," Calvin said angrily. "Might you have anymore cute remarks?"
"I'm good."
Calvin glared some more before returning attention to the Mega-Shrinker 5000.
"Hmmm…," he said. "Perhaps… I've got it! I shall name it…the Mega-Shrinker 6000!" he crowed, holding it high in the air.
One would almost expect trumpeting fanfare to sound at that moment.
The others stared at him.
"That's it?" Hobbes asked.
Calvin glared at him.
"What do you mean, 'that's it'?" he demanded.
"You only changed one number," said Socrates.
"Point being?" Calvin sniffed.
"Yeah, lay off, Socrates," Andy said. "After all, 6000 says so much more than 5000."
"Yes, thank you."
"Right, it says, 'my name is Calvin, and I'm about as creative as the guy who created Raisin Bran!"
Calvin glared.
"I thought you said you were done!"
"No, I said I was good," Andy replied.
Calvin rolled his eyes.
"Whatever. The point is I've finally succeeded in my quest to make a cordless Mega-Shrinker, and here it is! That's one resolution done and dusted."
He set it down on the desk.
"That's it?" Hobbes asked.
Calvin paused.
"Yeah, it's not quite as fulfilling as I thought it would be," he admitted.
Everyone rolled their eyes.
"Okay, so you're done?" Hobbes asked. "Does that mean we can go to the movies now? We've wanted to go for a long time now, and we finally have enough money!"
Calvin nodded.
"Yeah, sure," he said. "Let's go get Sherman and hit the theater."
Hobbes and Socrates groaned.
"Oh, that's put a damper on an otherwise brilliant day!" Socrates moaned.
Calvin sighed.
"Guys," he said sternly. "He's part of the group. Let's swing by Andy's house and get him."
"Right," said Andy.
They all started to leave.
"MTM," Calvin said, "you wait here and hold down the fort until we get back, okay?"
"Right on, dudes," MTM replied.
They shut the door and left.
MTM paused.
"Right then, back to Agatha Christie," he said, and he uploaded the book he had been reading.
But he failed to notice the new Mega-Shrinker 6000 was slightly sparkling electricity.
And the growling under the bed was getting a little louder…
Sherman was now sitting upon Andy's shoulder as they stood in line for the movie.
"What movie are we seeing?" he asked.
"Underdog," Calvin replied. "It looked kind of funny, so we thought we'd see it."
Sherman groaned.
Andy sighed.
"What's wrong, Shermie?" he asked.
"Why can't we see a more informative movie?" Sherman demanded.
"Because PBS movies never make it to theaters," Hobbes replied.
Sherman rolled his eyes.
"I'm just not in the mood to see another movie about talking animals," he said.
"Hypocrite," Socrates snorted.
Calvin walked up to the ticket counter.
Andy quickly hid Sherman in his pocket.
"Excuse me?" Calvin asked.
The ticket taker leaned over the edge of the counter to look down at him. He looked strangely familiar.
Calvin's eyes popped open.
"Klein?!" he gasped.
Klein looked down at him.
"Hello, I am Klein," he said.
"Yes, I know," said Calvin. "You look like your brothers."
Klein nodded.
"Oh, you must be Calvin," he said. "I've heard about you."
"How'd you know who I am?"
"You're the kid with the weird hair and the tiger."
Calvin glanced at Hobbes, who simply grinned back.
"Okay, well, how much for two kids and two tigers?" he asked.
Klein shrugged.
"Eh, tigers can go for free. That'll be 7.50 for you two."
Hobbes and Socrates grinned smugly at Calvin and Andy, who simply rolled their eyes and handed Klein the money.
"Thanks, Klein," he said.
They started to leave, but Klein called Calvin back.
"Hey, Calvin," he said.
Calvin looked back.
Klein motioned for him to come back.
Calvin handed Hobbes to Andy and doubled back.
"What?" Calvin asked.
Klein leaned over and whispered, "The best seats in the theater are written down on this napkin," he whispered.
Calvin grinned and took it.
"Thanks, Klein," he said.
And he ran after Andy.
Klein simply went back to the line in front of him.
"Okay, folks, we have few rules about this movie theater," he said. "No talking, no cell phones, no crying, no movie-hopping, no yelling, no parties, no drinks, no smuggled food, no objects that could kill, no pagers, no iPods, no iPhones, no iTunes, no PDA, no laptops, digital cameras, no video cameras, no mini-DVDs… In fact, no technology that essentially does the exact same thing, but Apple says are each incredibly different in a scheme to make money," he said.
Practically every teenager in the crowd left.
Klein chuckled a little.
"Step right up!" he said.
Back at the house, MTM was in the middle of his novel when he heard a noise.
ZZZIP!
Reluctantly, he turned off his book and examined the room.
It didn't look as though anyone was around. He couldn't find the source of the noise.
"Hello?" he asked.
ZZZAP!
"Ah, and whoever you are, you've brought a friend," he said.
ZZZIP! ZAP!
MTM looked around until his saw the Mega-Shrinker 6000 sitting on the desk. It was sparking slightly.
"Good morning, how are you?" he asked.
ZAP! CRACKLE!
"Want some cereal?"
Suddenly, without warning, the Mega-Shrinker fired.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
It fired at the radio again, shrinking it a second time.
MTM stared.
"Well, if you didn't want to listen Wynona, you should've said," he said at last.
Then it zapped at the lamp.
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
The lamp grew to twice its normal size.
"Just the thing to read War and Peace by," MTM commented.
The Mega-Shrinker then fired at the pillow.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
"Calvin's gonna have a hard time sleeping tonight. You might want to stop."
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
The rug shrunk.
"Please?" MTM asked.
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
The toy truck near the dresser grew.
"Just stop and think about it."
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
The trashcan grew.
"Oy, what a pong!" MTM groaned. "Don't make me have to use force!"
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
The pair of wire cutters shrunk.
"Alright, I asked politely. Hang about. Here we go."
MTM aimed and took fire at the Mega-Shrinker 6000.
BRZAP!
The blast struck the Mega-Shrinker, sending it bouncing off the wall behind the desk, and then onto the floor, where it landed facing away from the bed.
MTM couldn't see it now.
"You alright down there?" he asked.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
The Mega-Shrinker fired again, and it was forced under the bed by the blast.
MTM watched as the closet door shrunk.
"Yeh, you're fine," MTM sighed.
However, his blast at the Mega-Shrinker had had an undesired side-affect.
Having absorbed power from the MTM, the Mega-Shrinker suddenly began shooting wildly and widely.
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
ZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeep!
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
ZeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Several objects were shrunk and enlarged from under the bed.
Finally, one of the blasts it the floor under the bed, causing a hole to open up that was sucking the air inside. Electricity and fire seemed to erupt from it.
MTM, atop the bed, listened in confusion.
"That doesn't sound right…," he said unsurely.
Next to the Mega-Shrinker, the hole slowly began to grow larger.
Then, a set of clawed fingers appeared around the edge, followed by another.
MTM suddenly felt the bed lift up slightly.
"Gordon Bennett, we suddenly get on of those CraftMatic adjustable beds?" he asked.
Then he noticed something appearing by the side of the bed.
First came a long pair of tan arms, which were followed by a giant tan head, and then a long tan back, and a tail with spikes on it.
It took MTM a few seconds to register what it was.
It was one of the monsters from under Calvin's bed.
"Oh…," he said.
The monster stretched slightly, and then turned around to face the MTM. He had bloodshot eyes.
"Oh, bloodshot eyes," MTM commented sarcastically. "How original. Who might you be? Winslow or Maurice?"
The monster looked down at MTM.
"I am Jark," he said darkly.
"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do?"
"I am the most powerful monster in the entire monster world!"
"A monster, eh? I don't suppose you could confirm any beliefs about the Loch Ness Monster, could you?"
Jark glared.
"You dare to mock me?" he demanded.
"You dare to use an overused line like that?" MTM retorted.
Jark growled angrily.
"I'LL SHOW YOU!" he roared.
"Show me what? Your extensive toenail collection?"
Jark roared long and loud, and he swung his tail.
WHAM!
The dresser tipped over.
Then Jark flipped over the desk.
CRASH!
MTM watched.
"Those cost money, you know," he said.
Then Jark ate the giant garbage can.
MTM watched.
"Huh," he said. "Well, that's settled that problem."
Jark then flipped the bed over, causing MTM to slide off and into the wall.
"Ow!" he cried. "Who turned out the sun?"
Jark roared happily.
"Now I need to find him!" he exclaimed.
The large monster jumped through the window, breaking a lot of it along with him. He galloped off into the streets.
There was a pause as the room quieted down.
Finally, a pair of robotic arms appeared from behind the bed, and MTM pulled himself out from between it and the wall. When he pulled himself back up, he saw the Mega-Shrinker 6000 sitting next to the open portal, which continued to shower out lots of sparks of fire and electricity.
There was a pause.
"Oh, this can't be good," MTM said at last.
At the movie theater, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy and Socrates were sitting in the back row, just below the projector, watching a talking dog and laughing every once in a while.
Sherman was sitting on the armrest reading a tiny magazine.
Just then, Klein approached them and sat down next to them.
"Klein, what are you doing here?" Calvin whispered.
"My shift was over," Klein replied. "I brought food."
He passed giant jugs of soda and bags of popcorn down.
"Awesome!" Andy whispered. "This has to be the coolest job ever!"
Klein rolled his eyes knowingly.
"Well, it has its moments, I suppose," he sighed. "Sometimes the popcorn machine explodes. That's always a fun day. Then the manager sometimes slips and falls on the spilt soda."
Calvin and Andy stared at him.
"I didn't say it was perfect," Klein said.
Andy then felt something vibrating in his pocket. He groaned slightly.
"Oh great," he hissed. "Someone's calling me now of all times! I thought I turned this thing off!"
He pulled out his cell phone and looked at the caller ID.
"Why's MTM calling me now of all times?!"
"Maybe he remembered the score from the latest Cricket games," Socrates suggested.
The others stared at him.
Socrates shrugged and went back to eating popcorn.
Andy got out of his seat and snuck out of the theater.
Grumbling to himself, he came back into the normal light and pulled out the cell phone, opened it and turned it on.
"Hello?" he asked.
"What's up, dude?" MTM replied.
Andy sighed.
"MTM, this better be good," he grumbled. "I've been waiting to see this movie! I paid money!"
"Yes, as opposed to giving them a pint of blood," MTM retorted.
"What do you want?"
"I need to talk to Calvin. It's an emergency."
"How bad can it be?"
"The Mega-Shrinker 6000 malfunctioned and opened a hole in the universe, causing a monster from under his bed to escape, destroy his room and take off to find him. How's that then?"
Andy paused as he mulled the whole thing over in his head.
"Hmmm…," he said. "Yeah, I guess that qualifies as being bad."
"Quite bad."
"Mm-hmm. I'll get Calvin on the line for you. Hang on minute."
Andy quietly snuck back into the theater and hurried back to his seat. He leaned across Hobbes and waved the phone in Calvin's face.
Calvin tore his face away from the movie and looked back at Andy, arching an eyebrow to show confusion.
Andy waved the phone in his face again.
Calvin realized what he meant, and then he shook his head.
Andy continued to wave the phone, but with an urgent look on his face.
Calvin crossed his arms and shook his head again with more force.
Andy shoved the phone in Calvin's face and acquired an angry look.
Calvin finally relented, glared at Andy, grabbed the phone, and snuck out of the theater, waving a fist at him.
Once he was out of the theater, Calvin glared at the phone.
"What do you want?" he demanded angrily.
"Have you got a moment?"
"Get to the point!" Calvin growled.
"You know the Mega-Shrinker 6000?"
"What about it?"
"It's got a few technical glitches, I'm afraid."
"I'm sorry. I'll send it a card. Can I go now?"
"No, you see that's sort of the beginning of the problem."
"Oh, there's more?" Calvin groaned.
"Yeah. I tried to deactivate it with my laser, but it ended up under the bed, and it seems as though it absorbed some of my power, and through the combined power of my lasers and the shrink ray, it ripped a hole in the fabric of the universe, and it expanded the portal between our universe and the one your under-the-bed monsters come from."
"MTM, is this going somewhere? I want to get back to the movie as soon as I can," Calvin interrupted.
"Shut up," MTM replied. "Now then, with the open portal to out universe, one of the monsters escaped from it. Jark was his name. A nicely tanned bloke with a tail and the bloodshot eyes that nearly every villain on this show has. I mean, really, do none of your enemies get enough sleep?"
Calvin stared at the phone.
"Yeah right, and we've been getting 'your' and 'you're' switched on this show all the time as well," he snorted sarcastically.
"We have, actually," MTM said. "You see, 'your' connotes ownership, and 'you're' is—"
"MTM, I'm not believing a word of it until I see some solid evidence!" Calvin said at last.
WHAM!
Calvin looked up in surprise.
"What's that then?" MTM asked.
"ALL RIGHT!!" an angry voice shouted. "I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS SHORT AND SWEET!"
Calvin looked around the corner and saw a bunch of people staring at a giant tan monster with a tail and bloodshot eyes. Calvin's eyes burst open.
People were stunned into silence.
"MY NAME IS JARK, AND I DEMAND THAT YOU ALL TO I SAY!! MY FIRST ORDER: BRING ME CALVIN!!"
Calvin continued to stare, and then he held the phone up to his ear.
"MTM, can I call you back?" he asked, and he hung up without waiting for an answer.
To Be Continued...