Letting out a rather loud yawn, the CPU of Lowee leaned back in her seat and stretched out her arms behind her, filled with nothing but satisfied feelings. She had been working for hours upon hours on this project today, and beyond today she had in fact had been at this for almost a month off and on, and now... She had finally decided to share it. Some might have thought that offering it in slow samples would be the better way to go about it, but she just couldn't resist.

Eyes almost sparkling, the petite brunette returned to her sitting position and began clicking away until she found herself looking at the fiction website's front page. She still couldn't believe it, but there it was. It had been a wild ride, and it was far from over for her, but now had been a good a time as any.

Now the whole world could see what she had created.

A Much Better Proposal by Hammer of Superiority
Summary: Planeptune is on its last limbs. Shares are at an all time low, Neptune has run herself ragged trying to support what's left of her country, and Nepgear is probably there too, but you don't care and neither do I. Fearing the demise of their nation imminent, Histoire summons Gamindustri's greatest CPU to request that she save Planeptune, using the only means left: Blanc... must marry Neptune. Rated for extreme violence and graphic sexual content. REVIEW OR ELSE!
Real Person Fiction — Rated: Adult — Neponese — Drama/Humor — Chapters: 18 — Words: A lot — Reviews: 0 — Favs: 0 — Follows: 0 — Updated: 1 min ago — Published: 5 min ago — [Blanc/White Heart, Neptune/Purple Heart] [Vert/Green Heart, A Really Big Truck Rigged With Explosives]

Blanc smiled proudly to herself as she looked at her newly published story. There was no way this wouldn't become a hit. She had outdone herself this time. If it were an original work, she could probably get this published. She could probably have even gotten a movie deal out of it!

She didn't want any of that though, because this wasn't supposed to be anything like that. What this was was something much...

"'I'll do it.' Vert, Noire, and Histoire all stopped in their tracks, which wasn't very hard because they were so slow. Vert had been in the process of being absorbed by her massive boobs, like always, Noire had been whining about it not being like she really wanted to do things that she really wanted to do, and Histoire was on her hands and knees before the two of them, pleading for them to stop arguing in the face of the great White Heart. They looked to the source of the voice: Blanc. Her eyes were sharp and only determination could be seen on her perfect features. 'Of course I'll do it. Of course I'll marry Neptune.'"

The CPU's reaction was instant. Not a second after hearing the voice of the intruder, she stood up in her seat, a moment away from transforming. She spun around to try to find the source of the voice, glaring at the newcomer despite the fact that she had recognized their voice from the first word. Her cheeks were already becoming stained with a furious, embarrassed red — she had not written it like that! She was not that self-serving, dammit!

"Vert, put that phone down and stop acting like you're reading what is actually written in my story before I rip your head off." Blanc's words were spoken evenly, and she was doing her best to keep calm, but the fact was that she was positively humiliated — and of all people, it had to be Vert that was the one to not only find what she had done, but call her on it! "I know what I wrote and I know damn well you're making it look worse than it is."

The blonde CPU standing in the doorway to Blanc's room laughed sweetly — too sweetly.

"My, I'm surprised to hear that from you, Blanc..." In that moment, something dangerous flashed in Vert's eyes. For a moment, just a moment, Blanc seriously considered transforming — but she didn't want to risk harming her computer when there was still so much data on it! "This coming from the sweetheart who has me paired with a truck. Not even a dashing and handsome alien truck that can transform into a robot with an unquestionably attractive voice actor and an even more attractive voice, no, you have me paired with a truck that is set to explode, Blanc."

Blanc opened her mouth to respond, but given the look that Vert was giving her, she chose to divert her gaze.

While Vert had certainly been... accentuating certain things about what she had written when she had been quoting it earlier, Blanc had indeed put Vert together with such a truck. I-It was her right to do that as the author, okay?!

"If I keep reading, will the inevitable explosion at least be attractive?" Vert shook her head at the snort Blanc offered in response, choosing to instead enter Blanc's room (offering noises of what must be... well, Blanc wasn't sure, but they had to be reactions to what she was seeing in her room — just who did this bimbo think she was?!) and find a comfortable seat on the smaller CPU's bed. "Did you really think no one would see this?"

Surprisingly, Blanc just shrugged.

"Like I care. I just wanted to start getting that out. It felt good- It feels good to be able to do that." Seeing that Vert was going to be playing it nice, at least for the moment, Blanc returned to her seat and let out a sigh. It really had helped. "Shouldn't you be able to relate to that? You decorate your whole damn Basilicom with all kinds of dumb stuff. So I'm decorating a little, tiny corner of the internet with what I wish had happened if I hadn't been so stupid. What's wrong with that?"

"My, when you put it like that, not much..." It almost looked like Vert was actually going to be reasonable about this. Then she raised her eyebrow. "Only just the part where you have me paired with a moving explosive, that's all. Was that really necessary? I doubt you really want that to happen... Do you? Do you really 'wish' that on me, Blanc?"

"That's... It's an artistic choice! It's for the story, that's all..."

Despite the implications, Vert couldn't help but laugh.

"Oh? Taking one of the world's leaders and blowing her up is an 'artistic choice,' is it? Are you sure it's not something else? Maybe you're just taking out your frustrations regarding our situation on me because I was the one who noticed it and brought it up to you. Could that be it, perhaps?" Eyes twinkling throughout her entire assessment of the smaller CPU, Vert didn't choose to gloat in the fact that she was right. Instead, she laid back on the bed and sighed. "I do hope you hurry up and get over that, or I might have to set my eyes elsewhere. You really can't keep a lady waiting forever, you know, especially when we're in the situation that we are."

Blanc rolled her eyes, reaching into her desk for an eraser to throw at Vert, granting her a light "ouch!" from the blonde as she sat up to rub her forehead. Smirking at the bullseye she had gotten, Blanc acted like nothing had happened while Vert began looking around the bed in vain for what had hit her. The eraser had already bounced off and onto the floor.

"Come on Vert, we both know your eyes were elsewhere even before you called me up." Really, who did this broad think she was? She had just had a scene where she had been eye humping Noire's sister the whole time for crying out loud! Well... That wasn't technically completely true, but it was true enough in Blanc's mind!

"But I still called you." It was lucky for Blanc that Vert had rolled over and was now on all fours searching for what had hit her when Vert oh so bluntly had pointed that fact out. Blanc actually felt rather stumped, stupefied even, by that fact being pointed out so simply, and she felt at a loss for words. "Blanc, I think your ceiling might be in need of a repair, because I could have sworn part of it just fell off and... Blanc? Why have you gotten so quiet all of a sudden?"

"I'm recording you shaking that fat ass of yours around so I can post it on the internet!" Blanc barked back a quick response now that Vert had brought her out of her surprise, but naturally she had been doing no such thing. As Vert cried out in surprise and began quickly began to try to look as proper as possible, Blanc collected her thoughts — perhaps so she could stuff them away in a box to forget about, or perhaps so she could really deal with them.

It was obvious, after all, wasn't it?

The situation that Leanbox and Lowee were in was not (currently) so dire that immediate action had been necessary — Vert had known that. That had meant that that meant preemptive action would have been all the better, because they had a lot more time than Histoire had had when she had called the two of them and Noire together to ask for help. It was why her fucking around and avoiding Vert still had yet to cause any real damage — because they still had time.

But it also meant Vert still had all the time in the world to wait.

... Okay, maybe not "all the time in the world," but she still wasn't in a rush either. Her shares were still a heck of a lot better than Neptune's had been when it had hit the fan, at least relatively speaking anyway. Sure, they were still dropping slowly but surely, but the pace right now was enough that Vert wouldn't be in life threatening danger if she put it off for another month or two.

But she hadn't. She had seen it all and come to Blanc, because she had known Blanc was in that situation too. She had chosen to forgo what she could have done for herself to...

Blanc shook her head. So maybe Vert had maybe done something a little nice. That still didn't make what she was suggesting okay. And she didn't have to be such a cocky bitch about it either, which was all the more reason why she had to find an alternative that would make it so they definitely didn't have to get hitched. There was no way she would ever let herself be stuck with Vert of all people. Not a chance in hell.

Besides... It'd mean that one day, she and Vert would probably have to... to...

Ugh! She couldn't even think about it! Do not want, do not want!

"Delete that this instant, Blanc!" Having finally made herself look presentable, Vert turned to the other CPU and stared at her, as though she was demanding her to make a "good" video in place of the one Blanc had(n't actually) been taking earlier. "If you really want to film me, I'm sure we can think of something that will entertain viewers much more than something like that."

Considering what she had just been thinking only moments prior, Blanc's first thought was naturally one that would require gratuitous amounts of censoring were it to be described in any manner of detail here. Thankfully, looking at Vert, she was able to deduce that the CPU's intentions were absolutely nothing like the evil, sadistic succubus version of Vert that existed in her mind ("Note to self: Write that into a new story." -Blanc), and was able to cool herself down before she snapped.

"The only thing anyone would want to see you doing is the kind of thing that would get me banned if I posted it anywhere." Even if Vert hadn't meant it like that, though, that didn't mean Blanc couldn't taunt Vert in such a manner about the idea, smirking all the while. The way Vert actually looked upset by the idea both made it totally worth it... and a little disturbing to think that only she had been the one to "go there."

"Blanc...! My goodness, I simply meant something along the lines of a 'Vert Plays', and by the way, I'll have you know plenty of people out there would most definitely enjoy watching something like that." Crossing her arms defiantly, Vert shifted on Blanc's bed and raised one leg to let it dangle over the other, looking away with her eyes closed as though she was... looking down on Blanc! The nerve of that- "In any case, I do not want to hear that sort of thing from little miss 'extreme violence and graphic sexual content' over there."

Blanc choked.

She had really hoped she could have gotten out of this scene without Vert bringing that up.

Time for a diversion.

"Fine, you want me to change it? That's what this is about, right?" If it meant Vert would stop pestering her about this, or at least stop before she started quoting Blanc's purple prose, sacrificing her artistic vision would be a small price to pay. She could always post the "original" version with Vert and the unquestionably unattractive truck later anyway. "You don't want to explode anymore, fine. Can we drop this crap already?"

Like she had just been offered the first spot in line at a new game release, Vert had uncrossed and recrossed her legs and was now beaming at Blanc with an expression that made her wonder if the blonde was just a little broken in the head. It wouldn't surprise her any, that was for sure. Unfortunately, given how genuine that smile on her face seemed to be, Blanc almost had to wonder if Vert actually hadn't been...

"Oh! Well, I was really just teasing you, you should know I wouldn't ever ask you to really change any of your stories, that just wouldn't be right for anyone to do. Since you're offering, though... That does sound like a delightful idea, doesn't it? That's very kind of you, Blanc."

Blanc swore internally at this revelation (she knew Vert just liked to mess with people when there wasn't always meaning behind it too! she was kind of like Neptune like that... how could she have forgotten?), but it was too late to back out of it now. Vert was looking so... happy about the whole thing now that Blanc probably would have felt bad if she turned the bimbo away — even if that would have been Vert's fault, as most things that went wrong in Blanc's life these days tended to be.

"Then get your ass over here so we can 'fix' it already."

As she said this, Blanc shifted her seat over in an attempt to make room next to her before sitting back in it, looking at her poor, pre-Vert word document, quickly making a quick backup as Vert made her way across the room. Speaking of, rather than politely stand in the space Blanc had made for the CPU at her side, Vert came up behind her, of course pressing those gazongas against her back because what the hell else could she do with sacks of useless fat like those?

"Now if we're going to fix this up, the first thing we have to do is deal with that... thing you had me paired with. You already posted the story with it in there, so we can't just up and ignore it, now can we?" To Blanc's surprise, perhaps in part because she had a pair of fairly distracting... distractions pressed against her, Vert actually seemed to be taking the situation somewhat seriously. Who knew she had it in her? "Oh, but that's still not a problem. If we put our heads together, I'm sure that there will be an easy way to make this work out just fine without coming off as strange or upsetting to the... My, does the truck even have fans? If it was a choice for a character to put on the summary, I suppose it must, but I can't imagine who would want... Well, no matter. Has the truck exploded yet?"

Blanc just blinked, managing an "uhhhh..." before she began moving to open up the most recent "moment" between Vert and the truck so the other CPU could see for herself.

It wasn't that she was speechless or anything, it was just... the fact that Vert even seemed to care about her story being consistent, even in regards to the whole "Vert plus bomb on wheels" part, actually, especially in regards to that part, was pretty damn surprising to her. After all the teasing Vert had just put her through, Blanc would have sooner thought Vert would have told her to scrap the thing and start over rather than work with what Blanc had already done.

"Here it is. Right now, you're..." Blanc trailed off, gritting her teeth as she felt those... those meat sacks pressing up even more against her than they had been before as Vert leaned forward to read. Still... She was reading it, which was another surprising thing in and of itself. Though that didn't mean that Blanc was out of the woods just yet, and she certainly would love to get the hell out of this pillow factory. "Do you want a chair or something?"

"Hm...? Oh my, no, I'm fine like this. Isn't it easier for you to type when you have all the room there?" Vert's response was given in an absentminded sort of way, as she was still in the process of reading the dramatic scene where she found herself strapped to the back of the truck. Blanc might have found the response considerate if not for the fact that Vert was actually making things far more difficult by doing what she was now. "This... definitely is something, that's for sure! I do think this is salvageable though. I was worried I would be inexplicably professing my love to it already, but I see you're waiting for me to... 'bond' with it first before I become willing to explode along with it when it crashes into Lastation's Basilicom. My my, you certainly do have this all planned out, don't you?"

"You're... surprisingly adaptable." Blanc couldn't deny it this time. She was sure Vert would be about to throw a tantrum now that she had actually read some of it (she sure as hell probably would have), but the CPU was still acting surprisingly calm over the whole damn thing. Sure, it was just some shitty finfaction that Blanc had written that was mostly about herself and Neptune, but...

"I didn't say I liked it, just that I can fix it." Blanc wasn't sure if she liked Vert's tone, but it was still better than the alternative she had been expecting. "Let's just introduce some new character for me, maybe Nepgear or Uni or even IF or Chika, whoever makes the most sense with what you already have, and have them save me from that horrible truck. Oh, if it's already heading to Lastation's Basilicom, Noire saving me would work, yes? You can say I was brainwashed and you had that other 'pairing' in the plot summary to keep your readers guessing. My, that doesn't sound bad at all, now does it? We could even have a double wedding!"

Rolling her eyes at the idea — though at least it was better than her marrying Vert — Blanc began tapping away at her keyboard.

They stayed like that for a surprisingly decent amount of time. Blanc was genuinely surprised at how... civil the whole thing went. At times it had almost been, and she did mean almost here... Fun...?

Sure, Vert never had managed to pull together the decency to move her jumbo jugs, but eventually Blanc got used to it.

At long last, as Blanc closed out of the newly finished outline of the "updated" version of her story, the two CPUs remained silent. Vert felt pleased with herself, clearly, but... Blanc just couldn't let things end like this — not when there was a question that was festering inside of Blanc like it was some kind of... well, she had used up all of her classy descriptions for her story, so right now all she could think of was that it was festering inside her like something was literally under her skin trying to break out, and dammit, she had to know!

Even if it meant a night of regrets afterwards, she had to know before the scene ended...!

"Hey. Vert."

"Hmmm? What is it?"

"Would you seriously be okay with being paired with a freaking transforming truck if you liked how it looked? I mean... It's a truck! A truck!"

"Oh tut tut, Blanc. If it's 2D, anything is possible. Anything. That's the magic of it all. Imagine how romantic it would be, teaching an alien hero like that about a woman's touch... Doesn't that sound lovely?"

"You... You really scare me sometimes, you know that?"

"Heehee."

"Don't 'heehee' me! That wasn't a compliment!"