LIVING IN TWO WORLDS
11. Great Climax
Three figures trudged through the forest with pep in their step. The merc with the mouth was joyfully strolling through the evergreen while the pint-size hero and the sun goddess marched in behind him.
Multiple thoughts pounced around in Deadpool's mind. Toothpaste, spilling the guts of certain people, and the thought of watching Courage the Cowardly Dog were among the many things. He sliced his way through the vines and plants that obstructed his path and never skipped a beat.
Viewtiful Joe: Man...he sure is energetic..
Amaterasu: Indeed. Perhaps he's staying optimistic instead of dreading our inevitable doom?
Viewtiful Joe: Maybe. Do you think we'll get out of here?
Amaterasu: Well..considering this forest is endless, plus it's just about pitch black, adding on the fact that a murderous THING is after us, but not forgetting the fact that we have an enormous desert to trudge through afterwards...I'd say we are in a heap of mess.
Viewtiful Joe: That's one way to look at it...
Deadpool: Guys! Why are you soooooo zetta slow?
Amaterasu and Joe looked at each other puzzled.
Joe: Zetta slow?
Amaterasu: Is that something you came up with?
Deadpool: No. A long time ago, I played this game called The World Ends With You and that was one of the popular internet memes that came out of it.
Joe: I...I see. Kinda like...HENSHIN A GO-GO BABY!
Deadpool: ...Yeah...no.
Viewtiful Joe frowned at Deadpool.
Amaterasu: I still have no idea what you two are talking about. Let's keep moving shall we?
Deadpool: How is it that animals can talk? I had a puppy and all he did was look at me and smile. I named him Slade. He died two days after I got him.
Amaterasu: ...I wonder why...
Deadpool: I think he had prostate cancer.
Joe: Deadpool...
Deadpool: Yeah let's no talk about that! It was a tragedy! But then I adopted-
Amaterasu: Shut up, Deadpool.
Deadpool: Yes ma'am!
Deadpool immediately whirled around and began to hack forward with his katana.
Joe: Somehow, I get the feeling we're not making any progress...
Amaterasu: Please don't say that.
Deadpool: I feel like I'm in the Phantom Forest from Final Fantasy VI...
Joe: What is up with you and Square Enix lately?
Deadpool: RPG's are in my mind for some reason. I feel like I'm going to level up from cutting down these branches and stuff!
Amaterasu: Words cannot describe how weird you are, Deadpool.
Deadpool: Not weird, eccentric!
After 40 seconds of slashing and silence, Deadpool had finally lost his mind. (As if he had it to lose to begin with)
Deadpool: Deadpool used Cut! Shhhiiiinnnngggggggg!
Deadpool cut down some vines blocking his path as Joe and Amaterasu looked onward in shock.
Joe: He thinks he's in a Pokemon game...
Amaterasu: Maybe we should do something.
Joe: ..Nah..
Deadpool could be heard ahead screaming lines such as: "KATANA-RAMA! Pineapple, I choose YOU!" and etc.
Joe and Amaterasu shook their heads and followed the maniac. Followed, but not so closely. Deadpool could easily injure one of them for no good reason at this point.
Deadpool chopped..and chopped...and chopped until he came across a clearing. As he cut down the last of the vines in his way, he exclaimed:
Deadpool: Honey, I'm hoooooommeeeee!
But what he saw was no laughing matter. He gasped and his eyes filled with tears as Joe and Amaterasu soon caught up to him.
Deadpool pointed as his voice cracked. His mind and his mouth were on two different roads as he tried to utter words but was unable. Instead, all that could be heard were inaudible chants and moans.
Joe and Amaterasu looked at Deadpool then looked at his finger and followed to where it was pointing. It was then they realized what had surprised Deadpool so much, and they quickly began to follow suit in the inaudible speech.
What they saw was unlike anything they had ever seen.
It was Magneto and Doom. Both bound to a giant tree side by side...and completely naked.
Deadpool burst into roars of laughter as he pointed at Magneto. Magneto was absolutely infuriated.
Deadpool: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Maggie! Where are your clothes man?
Magneto: How am I supposed to know, you brainless twat!
Deadpool: Well obviously, you two must've been doing some special things if both of you are naked and tied side by side.
Magneto: You think WE did this to each other? You imbecile! That monster beat the shit out of us!
Doom: It made the screwdriver up my ass seem like a walk in the park.
Magneto: It was TORTURE. It took tree branches and whipped us with them. Over our chest!
Joe: Holy crap...
Doom: The only way we could escape...was if we stripped out of our clothes and swam down the small river.
Joe: How did you guys get tied up?
Magneto: When we got to land, we passed out from exhaustion. And it has been evidenced that the little girl, Tron Bonne, tied us here in an effort to shave the heat off of her.
Amaterasu: What do you mean?
Magneto: Basically, by binding us here, the monster will surely come looking for us and torture us even more here while she has more time to escape.
Doom: Luckily, it did not find us. Doom was absolutely terrified.
Magneto: That thing would have ripped our dicks off.
Deadpool howled with laughter.
Amaterasu: Wow..you guys had it rough.
Doom: Where is everyone else?
Joe: We split up...everyone's just...man we're all over the place.
Magneto: Well can you cut us down?
Amaterasu drew her ice sword and chopped the binds that restrained the two as they fell to their knees.
Deadpool: Hahaha, wait until the guys see you naked!
Magneto stood and walked toward Deadpool with fury in his eyes.
Deadpool: Woah there Maggie, I don't swing that way! Hahahaha get it? Swing? Because your johnson is swinging side to side? Get it? Hahahahahaha.
Magneto grabbed Deadpool by his collar and drew his fist back as he growled in anger.
Deadpool: Woah there Charlie..don't get mad at me! Although i'm pretty sure mine is bigger than yours!
Magneto breathed heavily as he clenched his fist even harder.
Deadpool: What are you gonna do? Masturbate to my voice? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WHAM!
Magneto punched Deadpool clear across the clearing. Deadpool screamed like a little girl as he hit the ground hard.
His scorn sated, Magneto cleared his throat as he began to trek onward.
Amaterasu: Where are you going?
Magneto: I'm getting out of here. Maybe find my clothes. I'm pretty sure we saw Spencer and MODOK around here somewhere. Spencer was hurt pretty bad. Maybe he's still around.
Doom followed.
Amaterasu looked at Joe and shook her head. They both followed as Deadpool lay behind them.
Deadpool twitched on the ground and sprang to his feet.
Deadpool: Wait for me guys!
He sprinted to catch up with the group.
Doom: I can't wait to find that little girl...I'm going to squeeze her little neck until her head comes off...
Magneto: I'm going to shove metal rods down her throat!
Viewtiful Joe: Guys guys guys! Child abuse, much?
Amaterasu: You guys won't do anything anyway.
Doom: If Doom sets his mind to it, Doom will have it accomplished.
Deadpool imitated Doctor Doom's voice.
Deadpool: If Doom is naked, Doom is naaaaaaked!
Doom buried his face in his hands as he howled in frustration. Magneto patted his back.
Deadpool: Oh my god I can't get over this! It's a once in a lifetime thing! A brilliant madman and an old guy that controls metal naked together! It's like the basis of a terrible gay porno!
Amaterasu: Deadpool...seriously..shut up!
Deadpool: Brokeback Mutants!
Magneto: Deadpool...
Magneto and Doom were about to explode in anger.
Deadpool: I wonder who was the woman and who was the man in the relationship. I'm pretty sure Maggie was the woman..I mean..he already has the name. But then again Doctor Doom is already Super Skrull's little whore!
Viewtiful Joe: Dude..Deadpool..seriously man. That's enough.
Amaterasu: You're going to give this fic bad reviews for your vulgarity!
Deadpool: Breaking the 4th wall is MY job and not yours lady!
Magneto: Oh yeah? Well I'll break the 4th wall too!
Magneto looks at the screen you're viewing this from.
Magneto: Deadpool is about to get the shit beat out of him, readers!
Deadpool: Hey...that's not funny! Deadpool does not approve!
Doom: Approve my foot in your face!
Doom ran toward Deadpool and jumped as high as he could.
Doom: FOOT DIVE!
Doom did his best at a dropkick, but Deadpool quickly sidestepped him and laughed.
Deadpool: HAHAHAHAHA what was that?
Magneto drew his fist back to punch Deadpool again, but Viewtiful Joe stopped him.
Viewtiful Joe: Let's get out of here first. You can kill him when you get your gear back.
Magneto: You are right, little man. It can wait.
Doom got up and spat on Deadpool's foot as he walked away. Deadpool just sat there and shrugged.
Deadpool: Does this mean I win?
The group kept walking without Deadpool who just sat there.
Deadpool: Guys?
Without any hesitation, they kept walking without him.
Deadpool: Wait up guys!
He sprinted to catch up with them, despite their desire to permanently shut him up. Deadpool joyfully chatted a storm as the group almost felt like they were going insane.
(If anyone is offended by the gay jokes, I truly apologize. I have no qualm. But I mean what would you think if you saw two naked guys tied to a tree in the middle of a forest? Hahaha. Once again I apologize.)
Wolverine and Thor marched through the shrubbery to find the monster. Wolverine growled in hate as he clawed his way through.
Thor: Wolverine, this beast...what if it poses to much of a match for us?
Wolverine: Thor, I'm pretty sure me and you can take this thing. It's nothin' but an oversized trash compactor, bub.
Thor: Mmm.
The two walked along a path until they came across a giant, shadowy figure.
Wolverine looked up and growled.
Wolverine: Smells familiar..but..I can't tell if it's hostile.
Thor: Only one way to find out, my friend.
Wolverine: Right.
At that point, it began to pour down rain. The shadowy figure turned to face the two as its growls became more clear.
Wolverine's claws extended as lightning flashed from above. The flashes of lightning exposed the figure for who he really was...
The Hulk.
Wolverine's eyes went wide as he put away his claws. He stared ahead at the Hulk and eyed him.
Wolverine: Hulk! What are you doin', man?
Hulk did not say a word. He just sat there and growled and breathed heavily.
Thor: Hulk? What is the meaning of this? Why do you not speak to us?
Hulk: ...
Wolverine: Hulk! TALK! What is goin' on here?
Hulk: Jen..took Jen...
Thor: Jen? Whom?
Wolverine: His cousin. She-Hulk.
Thor: Ah.
Wolverine: What happened to Jen, Hulk?
Hulk: Took Jen...can't find her...Hulk mad..!
Wolverine: Calm down Hulk. We'll look for her together, she can't be that far!
Thor: We need your help, Hulk. We came back to look for you so we can put an end to this charade!
Hulk: They took Jen...
Wolverine: Who took Jen, Hulk?
Hulk: Monster take Jen...Sentinel take Jen...
Wolverine's eyes went wide as his mouth dropped in shock.
Thor: By Odin's beard...
Wolverine: Sentinel...? What is a Sentinel doing here?
Hulk: Sentinel is monster...Hulk knows...Hulk punched Sentinel...Hulk felt...
Wolverine: Hulk, c'mon, we're gonna find her.
Hulk: Hulk...find Jen...
Thor: Come, Hulk. Let us mov-
Hulk: HULK FIND JEN ALONE! HULK SMAAASSSSSHHH!
Wolverine growled as the Hulk stomped the ground in anger.
Thor: He's losing it!
Wolverine: We have to stop him..he's going ballistic!
Wolverine hesitantly extended his claws. Thor drew his hammer. They stood before the berserk beast and showed no intention of stepping down. The rain pelted the three men as they waited to make a move.
Wolverine: Hulk, this is no time for a solo act, bub!
Thor: Listen to Wolverine, Hulk! You're making a mistake!
Hulk: HULK DON'T CARE. HULK SAVE JEN! IF PUNY MAN AND FUNNY HELMET GUY STAND IN HULK WAY, HULK CRUSH THEM TOO!
Wolverine: Don't make me repeat history, Hulk! You know what happened last time!
Hulk: PUNY MAN GOT LUCKY. HULK MAKE SURE PUNY MAN GETS CRUSHED. SNAPPED LIKE A TWIG!
Thor: We're not your enemy!
Hulk: EVERYONE IS HULK ENEMY!
Wolverine: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!
Hulk roared as loud as he could as Wolverine screamed at the top of his lungs.
Hulk: HULK FIGHT YOU TOO!
Wolverine: Then prepare to get mowed down.
The Hulk ran as fast as he could towards Wolverine as Wolverine sprinted toward the Hulk. Thor jogged by Wolverine's side as lighting struck in the background and the three men clashed in the solemn night.
Far east in the forest, a group of four traveled through the thick green to find the two rivals, Iron Man and Spencer.
Zero quickly hastened his sprint and bounded ahead of everyone. He turned and taunted them for their lack of conditioning.
Zero: Can you guys PLEASE keep up? Geez. Like I'm running with a bunch of human refrigerators!
Super Skrull: Zero. Shut the fuck up.
Zero: Ha. Don't hate the player, hate the game Skrull.
Super Skrull: All you do is yap yap yap, you arrogant tool.
Zero: Arrogant? Me? Nope. I just don't make mistakes. Sorry if I'm stepping on your little toes. Man up, Skrull. Or should I call you Skrub?
Super Skrull: I have just about had enough of your insults..
Zero: Oh yeah? My Z-Saber would love to hear your complaints!
Phoenix: SILENCE! BOTH OF YOU!
C. Viper: Thank you.
Phoenix: You two act like 3rd graders! Be mature.
Zero: I hate when people say that. "Be mature..grow up!" Pah. We're all still kids and that's the most hypocritical excuse for something I've ever heard. Be mature...hahahahaha, don't make me laugh.
C. Viper: When did you become such an asshole?
Zero: The moment we got STUCK in this stupid jungle! I'm not fucking Tarzan! I don't belong here! If there was a certain mission here then sure, but noooo! You idiots wanted to be curious and now look at the hellhole we're in!
Phoenix: If I'm not mistaken, you wanted to check out this forest too. Who's the hypocrite now?
Zero: I NEVER wanted to come here.
Super Skrull: Liar.
Zero: Whatever.
Zero coughed as he slashed through more vines and branches. His irritation was beginning to boil over as he furiously bolted ahead of the group.
Zero: WHERE IS THE EXIIIITTTTT?
Super Skrull couldn't help but chuckle at Zero's plea for help. Phoenix just rolled her eyes while C. Viper shrugged.
Zero began to breathe hysterically. His eyes glowed with primal fury as he hacked away at plants like a madman. He began to laugh psychotically as anxiety settled in his mind.
C. Viper: Is he alright?
Phoenix: Where did he even go? It's so dark here..I can barely see him. Plus it's starting to rain..
Super Skrull: I say let him go off, get lost, and rust here. We don't need em'.
Phoenix: Now Ki'rt that's not nice.
Super Skrull: Oh sorry Mother! Psh.
Phoenix rolled her eyes again as she pushed away the plants in her path. She walked forward a little more until she stumbled across something on the ground. It was hard...a metallic hard.
She kicked it a couple of times until a groan was heard. Startled, she jumped back and poked Super Skrull.
Phoenix: See what it is!
Skrull: Why me?
Phoenix: I said so!
Skrull: Ugh...
Super Skrull ran up and punted the metallic object with all of his might and what he got was not what he was expecting. A huge scream of profanity and words Phoenix had never even heard before.
It was Iron Man. He was alive.
Phoenix: Tony?
Iron Man didn't say a word as he moaned and rolled around on the wet grass. He tried to sit up, but failed to do so.
C. Viper: Need some help there, champ?
Iron Man: I would appreciate it...
Iron Man groaned as he grabbed Viper's arm to pull him up. They couldn't see it, but his suit was ruined. Phoenix's radiance lit up there area to see their surroundings and Iron Man had been destroyed. His armor was missing in some places and his helmet was gone. Static electricty could be seen shooting from his tech and his suit was in a state of a mini short-circuit.
C. Viper: Damn...you got totaled.
Iron Man: Don't remind me. That idiot Spencer...I'll make him pay for this.
Phoenix: Tony..don't go holding grudges..
Skrull: Don't listen to her! Hold that grudge and execute revenge!
Phoenix glared at Super Skrull.
Phoenix: Shut up!
Skrull looked up at the sky and whistled as if he hadn't said anything in the first place.
Iron Man: Whatever. I'll deal with him when I see him. Where is everyone?
C. Viper: Um, you kinda got knocked off of a cliff...everyone else got into their little groups and went different ways.
Phoenix: That reminds me...we need to find Zero.
Iron Man: Where did he go?
C. Viper: He ran off thinking he's Rambo.
Iron Man: Oh great. What about that monster thing?
Phoenix: Haven't seen it so far. Thank goodness.
Iron Man: Alright well enough babbling. Let's get moving.
The four set off in search of Zero, who was nowhere to be seen. Iron Man stumbled about as he tried to manage being on his feet after being grounded for so long.
Zero was far ahead of the group. He slashed at everything that touched him and shot at multiple trees as they fell in the distance. The glow from his Z-Saber lighting the way, he made his way down a small path until he heard a scuffling in the bushes. Zero's eyes narrowed as he questioned the prescence.
Zero: Who's there?
No answer.
Zero: I'm not joking! If you don't tell me who you are, I promise I will cut you into a billion pieces!
No answer.
Zero reeled back in terror as he looked at his hands. His eyes widened as he fell to his knees in shock.
Zero: What's happening to me? Am I hearing things? Seeing things? C'mon Zero..pull it together man!
Zero looked up and punched the ground in frustration. He quickly stood and shot at the bushes with his Buster Cannon.
Zero: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!
He unloaded multiple shots into the bushes, determined to figure out just what the hell was going on.
The group could hear the shots and quickly rushed to Zero's aid.
Phoenix: Oh no..the monster's got him! We must hurry!
Iron Man: Hello? I can't run!
C. Viper: Well stay behind!
Skrull: Pah. That little idiot really IS gonna get himself killed!
Zero panted heavily as the smoke cleared. He quickly regained his breath and cleared his throat.
Zero: I have to get out of here...
Phoenix: ZERO!
Zero whirled around and immediately drew his Z-Saber, but quickly put it away.
Phoenix: Are you alright?
Zero: Yeah. I'm fine.
Skrull: Crap...
Zero: Shut up.
C. Viper: We found Iron Man. Now we just need a way out!
Zero: That's the thing. I don't know if there IS a way out! I can't scan anything, my locator is non-functional, and my GPS systems are offline.
Phoenix sighed and patted Zero's shoulder.
Phoenix: We'll get out of here...somehow.
Zero: I sure hope so. Sorry about that back there...I don't know what got into me.
C. Viper: Don't worry about it kid.
Zero: Thanks...kid.
C. Viper smiled and punched Zero in the head.
Zero: Hey..watch the hair.
Zero, Viper, and Phoenix laughed. Zero looked downward and began to think to himself. What was really wrong with me? Why did I act in such a way? Was I hallucinating? The many thoughts that stormed Zero's mind made him question himself.
Iron Man soon walked in and promptly fell to the ground in frustration.
Iron Man: This shit sucks!
Skrull: What? Not being able to walk?
Super Skrull joyfully skipped around Iron Man and began to imitate Deadpool's moonwalk.
Iron Man: Fuck you, Super Skrull!
C. Viper burst out laughing at Iron Man. She quickly stopped however, as an extremely loud noise began to get closer to their area. The sound of whirling blades...and a giant light in the distance. The light got closer and closer as the noise became more clear. It was a helicopter.
The helicopter shined it's light over the five individuals and a rope was sent down to greet them. Zero grinned triumphantly and he grabbed the rope and began to climb up. He had survived the grueling forest and didn't lose his mind. His cry for help had been answered.
C. Viper quickly climbed after Zero, while Phoenix, Skrull, and Iron Man followed. Iron Man had no problem climbing the rope, he just couldn't walk.
Zero quickly reached the helicopter and pulled himself in. He looked at who exactly was piloting the thing and it was someone he had never seen before. Wearing a purplish battle-suit with many guns by her side, the woman was of average height. She had blonde hair, and quite a voloptuous body. Not so much as Trish, but damn near close. She turned and greeted the reploid with a smile.
Jill: You okay?
Zero smiled.
Zero: Yeah. Just fine. You came at the perfect time!
Jill: Glad I could make it!
The other four soon pulled themselves onto the helicopter and thanked the gods they were still breathing.
Phoenix: Thank you so much! Who are you? Where did you come from?
Jill: My name is Jill Valentine. I was coming to join you guys at Mike Haggar's camp..but no one was there! I asked Mike Haggar where you guys were and he told me you were in The Eternal Forest.
Skrull: Well that name makes a lot of sense...
Jill: Yeah. He said all of you were probably dead so I came as fast as I could!
C. Viper: Where did you get a helicopter?
Iron Man had only stared at Jill for 7 seconds and he immediately got a boner.
Jill: I kinda..stole it. Let's just leave it at that.
Zero: Works for me.
Iron Man: How old are you?
Everyone stared at Iron Man and didn't say a word. Jill looked puzzled.
Jill: Umm..
Phoenix: Don't mind him.
C. Viper: Don't even answer that question girl.
Zero: He's a rapist.
Iron Man quickly glared at Zero. He attempted to stand but instead he just flailed on the ground and tried to crawl towards Zero.
Zero: What's the matter Iron Man? Newborn babies have an easier time walking than you!
Iron Man struggled but quickly gave up as he shot Zero the bird.
Iron Man: Fuck you blondie!
Jill immediately turned around and stared at Iron Man. Tony Stark felt a sharp pain in his gut as Jill glared daggers into him. Iron Man sighed, looked at Zero who just sat there smiling, and put his head down on the helicopter interior.
Jill: I wasn't even originally a blonde. Haha.
Everyone laughed except for Tony Stark, who just groaned and layed there.
Jill: Anyone else we need to find?
Phoenix: Yeah..a bunch of people.
C. Viper: This is a HUGE forest...
Zero: Man..no wonder we couldn't find the way out! Most of the clear paths tie in a circle! And the paths we made made it an even BIGGER circle!
Skrull: Interesting..
Jill: Well..you guys are saved now. So no worries. Might as well get started on finding everyone else.
Phoenix: Did Mike happen to tell you about a certain...monster that may have been lurking in the forest?
Jill: Monster? He said something about some guy telling him that he had hired something called a Sentinel to disguise himself as a bear and kill off anyone unsuspecting in the forest.
Phoenix: SENTINEL!
Jill: Yeah. Some guy named...Shuma Gorath? I think...
Phoenix: SHUMA GORATH IS INVOLVED IN THIS?
Skrull: That little bastard! I'm going to poke his eye out with my flaming finger!
Jill: Yeah. Shuma hired the Sentinel to kill all of you in the forest for whatever reason. Guess he doesn't like you guys.
Phoenix: Was it just one Sentinel? Or more than one?
Jill: I only heard one. But..there may be more lurking in there...
C. Viper: This just keeps getting better and better!
Jill: Not to mention some guy named Galactus is running for President.
Everyone: GALACTUS?
How's it going guys? I'm not dead yet! School's out so I have MUCH more time to put more of this up as we FINALLY get out of this forest. We discover the plot behind the bear monster, Shuma's plan, and Haggar's total obliviousness. Not to mention Galactus is running for President. How will the cast react to this?
Will Iron Man ever walk again? What the hell was up with Zero? And will Jill and the gang find everyone in time? There's no telling how many Sentinels Shuma hired!
Also, I MAY do a short fic for Street Fighter X Tekken. I'm still debating on if I want to or not because honestly if it takes me forever to update this, lord knows how long it'll take me to do both. So, I MAY do a small fic in the future for that game over time. So watch out for that if it does happen. Still dunno.
Until next time!