Decided to create a little "what-would-happen?" if the guests celebrated Christmas. This is just a little "surprise" I guess since I missed out on a Thanksgiving holiday chapter.
By the way, I got a really good camera for Christmas. So, you guys should totally check out my Dead Space 2 playthrough imma do when it comes out! Totally not advertising at all! LMAO
A LIVING IN TWO WORLDS CHRISTMAS!
Snow falling. Christmas lights on. Dark outside. Jingle bells rattling. Many eager children await their gifts from the jolly ole' St. Nick.
Two guys in particular, were sitting on the couch, trembling in glee. Deadpool's eyes were wider than the Grand Canyon and Viewtiful Joe smile was wider than said canyon. They both sat there...staring at the lights and ornaments on the Christmas tree.
There were stockings above the fireplace, with every guests name on one. The lights filled the room: red, blue, yellow, green, white, black, purple, orange..almost every color on the spectrum was visible.
Deadpool turned his head and glanced at Viewtiful Joe.
Deadpool: Think we should wake everyone up?
Viewtiful Joe: Nah! Maybe in a couple of hours. It's only 5AM.
Deadpool sighed. His head tilted downward as his Santa Claus hat dipped. The little bell on the tip jingled.
Deadpool laughed. He was amused by the jingle! He started shaking his head frantically and the bell jingled rapidly. Viewtiful Joe laughed and did the same. They started making...music..by shaking...as hard as that is to believe.
Iron Man slammed his pillow over his ear. His eyes bulged and he gnashed teeth. "Deadpool." He thought to himself.
Iron Man clenched his fist and began to pound on the pillow, punching himself basically.
He sat up on his bed and stared at the wall. His eyes narrowed and he stood up. He was on a mission. To kill Deadpool.
He opened his door and walked into the living room where the two jolly jokers sat on the couch shaking their heads. Iron Man's eyes bulged once more.
As soon as Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe saw the expression on Tony's face, they immediately stood up and ran from him. When they were a safe distance away, Deadpool laughed and pointed at Tony's boxers.
Tony always woke up with an orgasm.
Deadpool: LOOK AT WHAT I SEE!
Tony looked downward and gasped. He tried to cross his legs to prevent it from being seen, but let's face it, Tony had a decent sized whopper.
Viewtiful Joe: Dude! Put that thing away!
Iron Man: How about I shove it in both of your mouthes? That'll shut you two up!
Deadpool: You gotta catch us fiiiirst!
The two jokers ran off down the hallway opposite of Iron Man. Steam blasted from Tony's ears but he quickly regained his composure when he got a reassuring tap on his shoulder. It was Thor.
Thor: Come, Tony. Let's not be angry. It's Christmas. A time of celebration my friend.
Iron Man sighed and looked at Thor.
Iron Man: I guess you're right.
Thor: Of course. Now, where is this..."Santa?" I heard he climbs down chimneys and steals your cookies and milk!
Iron Man: It's a legend Thor. To tell your little kids so that if you get them a present they didn't want, they blame Santa and not you.
Tony Stark burst out laughing at his own joke, but it left Thor even more confused.
Iron Man: Just roll with it Thor. Ryu is supposed to be the dumb one.
Thor grinned and walked into the kitchen.
Minutes later, The Hulk and Super Skrull awoke from their slumber and grabbed their own mugs. They both poured some coffee made by Tony Stark.
Skrull: Christmas huh? Not exactly my favorite holiday, but I guess it's alright.
Hulk: Indeed.
Soon after, Arthur and Spencer joined them. As did Wolverine, Morrigan, Ryu, Chun-Li, and Trish.
Iron Man silently snuck into X-23's room. He sat, waiting for Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe to creep back into the living room. Spider-Man passed by, and he noticed Tony sitting there with an insane grin on his face.
Spider-Man: Tony? What are you doing?
Iron Man shushed the web-slinger.
Iron Man: Be very very quiet. I'm hunting idiots.
Spider-Man: Let me guess. Deadpool annnnnd...?
Iron Man: Viewtiful Joe.
Spider-Man: Ah. Well, good luck with that.
Spider-Man chuckled, knocked on Dante's door and proceeded down the hallway. Dante opened his door, looked around and noticed Iron Man ahead. He raised an eyebrow and then he noticed.
Tony Stark was in X-23's room. With an erection.
Dante's eyebrows furrowed and he clenched his fists. He glared at Iron Man and began walking towards him, intent on killing the billionaire. Tony looked over and waved at Dante.
Iron Man: Hey, make sure no one is coming. I want this to be a secret.
Dante's eyes went wide.
Dante: What did you say?
Iron Man: Just make sure no one is coming. I'm about to have some fun.
Dante was about to lunge at Tony until he saw the look in Dante's eyes.
Iron Man: Dante! No! I'm after Deadpool and Joe! Not your woman. Hahaha.
Dante: Iron Man! She is not my woman!
Iron Man: Oh whatever! You don't have to hide it. Everyone knows!
X-23 was not asleep during any of this. She heard it all. But she was going to play possum for as long as she could.
Dante: IRON MAN! Seriously! We are not..together!
Captain America, Felicia, and Amaterasu passed by in the background.
Iron Man: Hahahahaha. Dante..it's okay man. Honestly. We know you like her.
Dante began to smile.
Dante: Alright, fine. So what if I like her?
Iron Man: See! Was that so hard? Dante, you could learn a few things from me, my boy.
Dante: I'm not sure if I want to...
Iron Man burst out laughing.
MEANWHILE
Everyone in the kitchen was laughing their asses off at Ryu. He was trying to figure out how to toast bread.
Ryu: Guys! Help me!
Spencer: Ryu..you're not the brightest crayon in the box are you?
Ryu: Crayon? Of course I'm not a cranyon!
Spencer hid his laughter, turned away from Ryu, and let it all out in Captain America's face. Captain America stared at Spencer, who was ROARING with laughter and couldn't help but to join the Bionic Commando. Chris Redfield walked into the kitchen and immediately began to laugh even though he had no idea what he was laughing at.
Ryu sat there, dumbfounded. Chun-Li was getting aggravated by Ryu's ignorance.
Thor sat near the chimney, intent on tearing Santa Claus a new one if he ever snuck into their home. Super Skrull told Thor about how Santa tossed salt into little children's eyes and raped them. Thor was angry. He was going to destroy Santa Claus.
Arthur chuckled and noticed Wolverine holding a mistletoe over Chun-Li's head. Wolverine winked at Arthur, and he nodded. Arthur walked behind Ryu and pushed him into Chun-Li. Ryu looked back at Arthur.
Ryu: WHAT WAS THAT FOR!
Arthur pointed at Chun-Li's head.
Arthur: There is something you must do.
Ryu's eyes turned into question marks. He looked at Chun-Li, whose face was redder than Mars.
Ryu: I don't get it.
Chris howled with laughter. Spider-Man fell to the floor in pain from laughing so hard.
Trish: Wow. Ryu, you're supposed to kiss her. If someone is under the mistletoe, you have to kiss them.
Ryu: What for? Who said so?
Trish sighed.
Ryu: So, if two men were under the toemissile, does that mean you have to kiss them? Or two women?
Chris: EWWWW NO!
Chris was heavily against homosexuality. This trait led to him getting jumped in the past by gay men. A memory that will never escape his mind. Spencer shrugged and jumped on the couch. Skrull was in the bathroom taking a dump.
Felicia: Ryu! Just kiss her!
Ryu looked at Chun-Li. She just sat there, staring into his eyes. Ryu slowly stepped to Chun-Li, and she leaned in awaiting his lips. Ryu leaned in as well, but right as he was about to kiss her...
Deadpool: PRESENTS!
Ryu turned away and darted to the tree as Chun-Li opened her eyes and almost fell to the floor. The Hulk caught her before she hit the kitchen floor and she thanked him. Her face was the most red thing on the planet. She was going to kill Ryu after all this was over.
Magically, presents appeared under the tree and stocking were filled. Thor hadn't even blinked yet, but he apparently got outsmarted by Santa Claus. Thor was baffled.
Thor: What the-?
Spencer: -You'll get him next time, champ.
Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe darted down the hallway, just barely avoiding Iron Man's grasp. Iron Man had lunged at the two, missed, and landed on his dick. Not a good feeling at all.
Dante laughed at the billionaire and helped him up, as X-23 passed both of them, smiling.
Deadpool: PRESENTS GUYS! OPEN YOUR PRESENTS!
Deadpool passed around presents to everybody. Everybody had one box, each wrapped according to their respective themes. First up, was Thor.
Thor sniffed his gift. He was highly suspicious of the present. He carefully unboxed his gift and was apalled by what he saw.
It was a tall squeaky hammer. Thor was shocked. Was this some sort of insult? Was Santa trying to humiliate Thor?
Either way, Santa had succeeded. And Thor was pissed. He took the kiddy hammer and went across Skrull's head with it.
Thor: YOU! You have cursed me! All these..Santa tall tales! I was angry with Santa! And now he is angry with me! It's all your doing, you foul being!
Skrull: Thor. Shut up.
Thor pointed at Skrull with intense fury as lightning struck in the background.
Thor: BY THE POWER OF ASGARD. HOOOOOOOO!
He swung the hammer with all of his might across the face of the alien.
*squeak*
Skrull sat there for a few seconds. And he immediately began to roar with laughter.
Thor's face hardened. He studied the squeaky hammer and walked over and sat in the corner. He was disgusted.
Next up, was Skrull. Skrull unboxed his gift and looked at it. It was another box. But, a metallic one. He opened the metallic box and pulled out a deck of new Yu-Gi-Oh cards. He immediately thought of Doom. He took the cards and stuck them in his pocket quietly. No one said anything.
Spider-Man opened his gift. It was a new camera. Exactly what he was looking for.
Wolverine opened his. He got a claw sharpener.
"Not bad, Santa." he thought to himself.
Spencer opened his. He got some workshop tools. He did a mighty fist-pump, and began to open the toolbox, marveling at all the tools.
Arthur opened his. A new set of armor, with matching boxers. Very, VERY nice.
Morrigan opened hers. She got a vibrator. She looked around at everybody. Iron Man was the main one staring at her, and he went erect. AGAIN.
Hulk's turn. He opened his present and cheered in delight. He got a new chef hat, a spatula, and an apron. He grinned like he had never grinned before. He was ready to whip that baby out and make some burgers over the grill.
Chris opened his present. It was a gift card. To be used at Zangief's gym, to purchase up to five things he wanted from there. To start his own weightroom at the House.
Chun-Li opened her present. She got a new outfit, resembling her 3rd alternate outfit in Super Street Fighter IV.
Trish opened her present. It was a magnificent black comb which could transform and be used for eyeliner.
Felicia opened her present. A giant ball of yarn.
Dante laughed at Wolverine's expression. Wolverine just stared as Felicia played with the ball of yarn. He felt..lonely.
Amaterasu opened her present. It was a Sun God Chew Toy. Nobody knew how it worked though, because it didn't come with instructions. Apparently, when you chewed it, you became instantly happy and optimistic. Or something like that.
Ryu opened his present. A giant box of tennisballs. He grinned and read the note on the side.
"No, these are not baseballs, Ryu."
Ryu: I know that. They are tennis balls!
Everyone began to slowly clap for Ryu. He finally knew something! The slow claps turned into cheers.
Ryu: But I don't understand why they are called tennisballs when you play golf with them!
Everyone fell to the floor and facepalmed.
Iron Man opened his present. A giant lump of coal. Iron Man gasped as everyone laughed at his misfortune. He picked up the coal and threw it at Deadpool, who swiftly dodged it. The coal went on to strike a depressed Thor in the back of the head.
Tony Stark cringed and slowly began to walk away as if he didn't do it.
Deadpool and Viewtiful Joe both opened their presents. Deadpool got the newest issues of Phoewnix Wrong: Objections Abound while Viewtiful Joe got the video games Dead Rising 2 and Monster Hunter Tri.
They both squealed in glee and began to roll around in circles on the floor.
X-23 opened her present. It was a very beautiful diamond necklace. Very thin and pretty. All the females marveled at the gift and she smiled hard.
Dante watched.
Dante: Hmm...
Wolverine: What's up, loverboy?
Dante: I dunno what about YOU, kitten?
Wolverine smiled and pulled Dante in for a noogie. Dante escaped after a few seconds and opened his present. It was Alice in Chains' new album, and a new guitar to boot. Dante was ecstatic.
X-23: Ooooo! Dante, you should totally play me a song.
She coughed.
X-23: Oops..no, I meant..play US a song. Haha.
Dante's eye twitched.
Chris: Totally dude!
Dante: But...I uhh...
Spider-Man: Do it!
Dante: O-Okay...
Trish: This should be good.
Chun-Li: Yeah. I wonder how he's gonna pull this one off.
Captain America: HAS EVERYONE FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME!
Captain America opened his present. A jug of milk.
Captain America growled and walked over to chat with a depressed Thor.
Deadpool: Dante! You got this man! Here, I'll provide vocals! I can sing good!
"F is for friends that do stuff together!
U is for U AND MEEEEEE!
N is for ANYTHING AND ANYTIME AT ALL!"
Viewtiful Joe chimed in.
"PLAYING MARVEL VS. CAPCOM THREEEEEE!"
(cookie for anyone that gets the reference)
Dante: Nah, thanks guys. But..I got it.
He began to stroke his guitar as he swiped his hair back. He strummed it with intense passion and looked deeply into X-23's eyes.
"Right before the sunrise One thing is on my mind Need to take the stress and throw it all away.
The feeling to discover Your one and only lover Cant describe how much you mean to meeee.
You are the flower, I'm the rain Without you life is not the same.
I'm everything you'll ever need Rarely spoken we still proceed.
I can see the sunrise Looking into your eyes You riding right next to me And we both become one Headed towards the sun Following the line Following the REDLINE to the sun!
You are the air that I breathe Without you, I am incomplete.
You are the only one for me Rarely spoken I know you won't leave..."
He rapidly stroked his guitar in a nice, cool rythym. X-23's eyes lit up like Christmas lights.
Chris wiped away the tears from his eyes as Spider-Man offered him a tissue. Spencer was jamming to the rythym, while Arthur shook his booty in Morrigan's face. She rolled her eyes and stuck her vibrator up his ass. Arthur yelped and jumped over the couch, tumbling to the floor. Iron Man was nodding his head to the beat. Deadpool looked at Dante as if he was some sort of guitar god.
Trish: Wow..that was...amazing..to be honest..
Wolverine: Eh, a little too cheesy for my taste, but not bad kid.
Wolverine and The Hulk looked at each other. Then, they looked at Super Skrull, who nodded at them.
Dante looked at Wolverine and the Hulk. Wolverine pointed one claw at Dante, then pointed one claw at X-23.
Wolverine: Go for it, kid.
The Hulk pulled a mistletoe out of his pocket and held it over X-23's head. She was too busy staring at Dante to notice. Dante stood, and walked toward her.
As he did so, Chun-Li turned and looked at Ryu. But he was not there. She turned back around and Ryu was in her face grinning. She reeled back in shock, but Ryu took one hand and placed it on her face. He then leaned in and kissed her right on the lips. He pulled back.
Ryu: Hulk told me to! Did I do it right?
Chun-Li smiled and nodded at Ryu. She was not satisfied. She wanted more. She pounced on Ryu immediately afterward.
"OH MY HADOUKEN!" Ryu screamed.
Amaterasu howled with laughter. She chewed on her toy and wagged her tail.
Amaterasu: GOOO Ryu!
Felicia: YEAH! Go Ryu!
Chris and Spider-Man did fist pumps in the air as Dante stood before X-23. He smiled at her and pointed above her head as she looked up. She gasped and looked back at Dante.
Trish couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous.
Iron Man: It's about time Dante.
Skrull chuckled.
Dante pushed back X-23's hair, and placed his lips on hers. He kissed her passionately as Spidey, Chris, Spencer, Wolverine, Hulk, and Skrull cheered in the back. Arthur scratched his head cheered as well. Morrigan crawled near Arthur and tried to put her hand down his boxer shorts. Arthur almost let her, but he grabbed her hand and took it out.
Arthur: Not yet, succubus.
Morrigan: "Yet?" Hmm...
Iron Man sighed.
Iron Man: I need a woman right now...
Spider-Man: Me too.
Felicia stood up after Spider-Man's remark. She stared at him for a bit, then she stared down at the floor when he glanced at her.
Amaterasu: Felicia?
Felicia: I dunno Amaterasu...what would Wolvie think?
Amaterasu: It shouldn't matter. You do what's best for YOU. You do what YOU want to do. And if others don't like it, tough jerky!
Felicia: Tough jerky?
Amaterasu: Better than tough toenails.
They both laughed.
Deadpool popped up in front of the camera.
Deadpool: Well, this has been the Living in Two Worlds Christmas Special! I hope you all had a good Christmas!
Viewtiful Joe: Are you breaking the 4th wall?
Deadpool: It's my job. Haha. It's what I do.
Viewtiful Joe: Ah.
Thor and Captain America waved in the corner.
Skrull: So to all who read this Special, stay tuned, because the author is almost done with the next chapter in the CANON storyline. Or well..somewhat..canon?
Trish: Right.
Amaterasu: Yeah, the chapter about the talk shows..and all that?
Skrull: Yeah!
Hulk: We hope you all had a good, safe Christmas.
Wolverine: And it's time to ring in the New Year. WITH SOME EGGNOG!
Spencer: HELL YAH!
Arthur: The New Year is a time for change.
Morrigan: Or, to renew old habits. Mhmhmhm.
Ryu: What New Year?
Chun-Li: Shut up, Ryu.
Iron Man: We appreciate you reading this and we hope you have a safe New Year.
Chris: And to all those NOT reading this, we wish the same to you.
Spider-Man: In our time, it's almost the New Year anyway. And it's getting closer for us to depart. February 15th is the release date, right?
Skrull: Right.
X-23: So, Have an awesome New Year.
Dante: Yeah! For us! Try not to party too hard!
Chris: FIVE!
Spider-Man: FOUR!
Ryu: SEVEN!
Chun-Li slapped Ryu.
Chun-Li: Honestly Ryu, it's getting old.
Ryu: Sorry.
Morrigan: SEX!
Arthur: She means six!
Spencer: FIVE!
Wolverine: FOUR!
Felicia & Amaterasu: THREE!
Hulk & Skrull: TWO!
Deadpool & Joe: ONE AND A HALF!
Iron Man threw his coal at them.
Dante & X-23 hugged each other.
Masterman fell down the chimney. Everyone gasped and stared at him.
Thor sprang from the ground and pointed at Masterman. Lightning struck in the background.
Thor: YOOOUUUUU! I KNEW IT!
He drew his real hammer and charged at the intruder.
Masterman: ONE! HAPPY NEW YEEAAARRRRR!
The camera panned out as Masterman gets knocked out of the atmosphere.
To everyone, happy New Year. And stay tuned for the next REAL chapter. :)
Take care guys!