Hey guys, I'm not dead yet! :D I am SOOOOO sorry I haven't updated this in ages. I've just been so busy lately..I haven't really had the time unfortunately. :(
But now, I'm back for a bit and I'll try to squeeze two or three chapters out. Now that Ultimate is coming out in a few days, I have to get those characters in along with the existing ones. So there's going to be a TON of characters to fit in. I appreciate the suggestions you guys have given me and thanks for the reviews.
Honestly, I really don't even plan these chapters out that much..I just go with the flow to entertain you guys as much as I can without being TOO obnoxious. But yeah, I will be taking these suggestions into consideration. It's been long overdue, so here's the next chapter. I apologize, but I'm going to totally fastforward through the forest rescue, and i'll introduce some new characters. Pretend like they've already witnessed vanilla MVC3 and they're anticipating the new game.
12. Ridiculousness Abound
The helicopter Jill piloted flew over the forest with ease. The giant lights shined brightly over the dense jungle, revealing many things incapable of being seen. The members however, were very difficult to find.
Zero: Man..where are they? I don't see anyone!
Jill: They'll turn up eventually..don't worry.
Just as Jill finished her sentence, two figures could be seen below. The figures were Tron Bonne and Taskmaster, walking together down a muddy path.
Taskmaster shielded himself from the light as it blinded him.
Taskmaster: Oh come on! What's going on now? The fucking military are after us?
Tron: No, you idiot! We're saved!
Taskmaster: Saved? Who is that?
Tron: I dunno, but if they'll get us outta here I'm all for it!
A ladder was thrown down to the two as they sprinted toward the helicopter.
Jill: Who are they?
Zero: Taskmaster and Tron Bonne. You could have just left Tron Bonne. Ugh...
Zero sighed as he slumped in the passenger seat, dreading the irritating voice of Tron Bonne. Even worse, her mind-raping LAUGH. Zero cringed at the thought and closed his eyes in disgust.
The two climbed aboard and rejoiced at their rescue. Taskmaster kissed the floor of the helicopter and squeezed Phoenix as tight as he could before she pushed him off.
Taskmaster: Thank GOD! Oh praise the lord we're saved! What took you fuckers so long?
C. Viper: I love how you showered us with gratitude but immediately went to being rude again.
Taskmaster: Hey, that's who I am.
Tron Bonne: So tired of this stupid forest! Take us home!
Jill: Uhh..we have to find everyone else first.
Tron: Take us home and come back for them later!
Zero peeked out from his seat at Tron Bonne and growled.
Zero: You're lucky we saved you in the first place! Now sit back and hush.
Tron: Zero, are you really in a position to be sassing ME?
Zero quickly remembered what she was talking about and turned around in his seat. He crossed his arms and remained silent.
Tron: Ohohohohoho! That's what I thought.
The laugh made Zero's eye twitch. He looked at Jill who only looked back in bewilderment.
After only 30 seconds of searching, several figures could be seen almost in the same place as Taskmaster and Tron.
Viewtiful Joe, Deadpool, Doom, Amaterasu, Magneto, and Spencer all ran for the helicopter as fast as they could.
As soon as they climbed aboard, C. Viper stared at Spencer, who had taken a nice chunk of damage.
C. Viper: Spencer...your arm...
Spencer: I know. Not destroyed...but not functional either. Gotta get it fixed..somehow...
Spencer looked around and traded glares with the exhausted Iron Man.
Spencer immediately snarled at the sight of him and Iron Man snarled back.
Spencer: We have some unfinished business, rich boy.
Iron Man: Unfinished? Pretty sure you won't be finishing anything with that arm, considering it's all you have.
Spencer: Yeah? It's more than enough to trash that little bitch suit of yours. I'm tired of your mouth Iron Man!
At that point, Iron Man remembered what Spencer had told him. Iron Man looked away and sighed.
Spencer: What? No smartass retort?
Doom: This is very enjoyable. Please continue!
Viewtiful Joe: Doom...hush, man.
Doom: DOOM DOES NOT LISTEN TO CHILDREN.
Deadpool: Then listen to me. Shut up, Doom.
Everyone on the copter turned to stare at Deadpool who was actually quite serious and intimidating for once. The look in his eyes suggested otherwise, but no one was willing to push him further.
Super Skrull: I think prolonged activity in that forest actually made Deadpool sane!
Zero looked back from his seat with his eyebrow raised. He had thought for a moment and decided to speak.
Zero: Yeah...just like it drove me INsane...
Phoenix: Right...does that forest have adverse effects on people?
Taskmaster: JUST TAKE US HOME!
Tron Bonne: PLEASE!
Amaterasu: I think you are right Phoenix. That forest is most certainly mystical.
Magneto: I did feel as though my intelligence was steadily plummeting to the bowels of Ryu's level.
Super Skrull: Holy shit...
Doom: What intelligence?
Magneto: Of all people, you should know of my intelligence Victor. Don't make me remind you of what I did to you in the 3rd grade.
Doom: 3rd grade? That was a simple miscalculation on my part. Your meager intelligence had no part in it.
Magneto: If I recall correctly, 20 x 13.75 = 275, NOT 270. You tried to show off and do it all in your head so I had to bring you down off your high horse. Which is really a donkey, for you are an ASS.
Doom: Do you really want Doom to bring his metallic pimp-hand across your face, Magneto?
Magneto: I'll just control your arm. I am the master of MAGNET, Victor. You are getting nowhere in this argument. Quit while you're behind.
Doom: Ah, but can you control lasers?
Magneto: I'm not willing to try.
Doom reached into a pouch in his tunic and pulled out his laser gun and pointed it at Magneto. Magneto grinned and crossed his arms as if begging Doom to shoot him.
Taskmaster: SHOOT HIM SO I CAN LAUGH!
Phoenix: Victor just put the gun away. Why are you being so immature?
Skrull: That comes with the package.
Doom: Shut up Ki'rt. I'll blast you to oblivion with Maggie as well!
Deadpool: I LOVE ME SOME GUNS!
Viewtiful Joe: He's back to his old ways again...
C. Viper sighed and looked over at Spencer, who turned and looked at Iron Man.
Spencer: This is going to be a long ride...
Iron Man: Indeed...
Iron Man slumped back and stared at the roof of the copter. Thoughts flashed before his eyes as he closed them.
Iron Man: Spencer. This isn't over. But apologize to your wife for me.
Spencer: What?
Iron Man: Tell your wife I'm sorry. I..didn't realize..
Spencer: Apology accepted.
Iron Man: I'm not apologizing to you..!
Spencer: I know.
Iron Man grinned for a second before looking over in Jill's direction.
Phoenix: Spencer. You need medical attention immediately. Jill, take us back. We'll come back and search for the others after.
Jill: You sure?
Tron: YES SHE'S SURE!
Jill looked at Zero who was slumped in his seat not saying a word. She sighed as she turned the copter around and headed back toward Haggar's camp.
Taskmaster: Yo, Spencer. I'll buy that arm off ya for 30 bucks!
Spencer glared at Taskmaster and gnashed his teeth. Taskmaster frowned.
At Haggar's Camp
Jill stopped the helicopter over the heliport near the camp and lowered the ladder. Tron Bonne was the first to climb down and she rejoiced as she touched the ground. She loved every second of freedom.
Taskmaster was right behind her. He embraced the ground almost in a sexual way and high-fived Tron.
C. Viper and Phoenix, who were helping a damaged Spencer, hobbled off next. Spencer and Iron Man both hobbled toward the infirmary with Phoenix and C. Viper by their side.
Super Skrull, Magneto, and Doom all touched down and walked around breathing fresh air.
Super Skrull: I think Phoenix likes Spencer.
Doom: Who cares? She's not all that attractive anyway.
Magneto: You are a fool. I would show her the true meaning of GRAVITY SQUEEZE.
Super Skrull: I think C. Viper is kinda hot.
Doom: I do as well.
Magneto: Obviously you two cannot see the radiance of Jean.
Super Skrull: You just have no taste. She has big tits but that's it.
Magneto: We will discuss this in depth later. When we have time to sit down and relax. With some more men. We will see who has the best taste.
Super Skrull: If they're alive!
Viewtiful Joe: They better be alive. I know for a fact they are!
Doom: Your optimism is amusing, Joe.
Viewtiful Joe: Life's too short to be pessimistic! You gotta do all you can to make the ride enjoyable!
Doom: ...
Skrull: ...
Deadpool: Yeah, I already made me a bucket list! Let's see here..."Go to Disneyland...make the world's largest sausage...eat some chimichangas...become an exotic dancer...meet Barack Obama and brush his teeth for him...grow a tail...", I have a lot of stuff!
Amaterasu just stared in awe at Deadpool's enthusiasm.
Magneto: You want to brush another man's teeth? I hope you don't have kids Deadpool.
Deadpool: My kids will have moustaches by the time they're 4 years old! Just so they can ask other kids, "WHERE YO CURLEH MOUSTACHE AT!"
Skrull: Isn't that your winquote against Magneto?
Deadpool: ...Is it?
Magneto: ...What curley moustache?
Viewtiful Joe just put his face in the palms of his hands. Amaterasu copied him.
They all walked toward their cabin..confused about curley moustaches.
Zero and Jill watched from the copter then looked at each other.
Zero: They're mighty happy.
Jill: Aren't you, Zero?
Zero: Yeah, I am. I just want to figure out what exactly happened to me in that forest. Was it some kind of malfunction? Was I turning...maverick?
Jill: What did you do?
Zero: I just completely lost control of myself..I went into a panicked frenzy..unaware of my actions..and my friends..
Jill: I...know the feeling.
Zero: Really? You went through the same thing?
Jill: Kinda..it's a long story.
Zero: I have two ears. I'll listen!
Zero grinned widely at Jill who smiled back. Zero stared into Jill's eyes and couldn't help but to feel some sort of connection. She reminded him of someone but he wasn't exactly sure who.
Jill glanced away after the two stared each other down. She had to break the silence as she put her fingers through her hair.
Jill: Why aren't you getting off?
Zero responded so quickly it startled Jill, as if he knew the question she was going to ask before she asked it.
Zero: I wanna go back with you!
Jill: But...aren't you tired of the forest?
Zero: Yeah, but I want to help find the others. I can't make you go it alone.
Jill: Thanks, but I'm fine Zero. I can handle it.
Zero: Well you're stuck with me anyway! There's no telling what could be out there..
Jill: You're very stubborn...haha.
Zero: I can be at times. Now let's go. I think I know where to find them. My GPS actually works now.
Jill: That will make things soooo much easier...
Zero: Yeah, so no time to waste!
In the forest
Dante and the crew were pondering life and death. Dante was on the ground staring at the stars. In his mind, the stars had formed to make a cheeseburger at one point, and his mouth watered at the sight.
Chris was rocking back and forth sucking his thumb. X-23 sat on a log with her head buried in her arms. Trish and Chun-Li both sat back-to-back silently. Spider-Man sat in a tree, snoring.
Arthur made shapes in the grass with his sword while Morrigan played with her hair. Ryu stood with his arms crossed, awaiting an answer to their plea for help.
Ryu: Help will come...
Spider-Man: We're so dead...
Dante: Cheeseburger?
Chris: Dead...dead...death...dying...dead...death...Chris...dead...no...
Trish: Chris...get ahold of yourself!
Chris: ...
X-23: It's so cold..
Morrigan: Tell me about it.
Dante looked at X-23 and thought for a second. He then looked back at the stars and noticed a blaring light overhead.
Dante: Oh god I can see the light...SHIT! My party can't end here!
Spider-Man: What?
Arthur: DANTE. GET AHOLD OF YOURSELF!
Dante began to convulse on the ground as if having a seizure or someone was performing an exorcism on him. He twisted and turned so spasmodically Chris thought he was possessed.
Ryu looked at what Dante was seeing and noticed it too.
Ryu: DANTE! I'M DYING TOO! NOOOOO!
Ryu started to do exactly what Dante was doing but Ryu actually foamed at the mouth. Ryu then realized that the light got brighter and brighter.
Ryu: SWEET MOTHER OF SHORYUKEN.
Spider-Man: OH MY GOD, I SEE IT TOO! DAHHHHHHHHH!
Spider-Man: Just kidding.
Trish rolled her eyes as X-23 did the same.
Ryu foamed rivers from his mouth as he began to air-hump repeteadly on the ground.
X-23: Hey wait...I think we're all seeing the same thing! We're not dying!
Chun-Li: Those are rescue lights! Hey look!
Trish: A helicopter?
Jill piloted the copter overhead and Zero threw down the ladder. He climbed down halfway and greeted the stranded survivors with a smile.
Zero: Don't worry. It's us!
Dante immediately sprang from the ground and sprinted towards the ladder only to be beaten by Chris, who had ran an olympic record to the ladder.
As they all climbed aboard they breathed heavily and panted in exhaustion.
Dante: Zero...man...we are sooo glad to see you, bro.
Zero: Haha, I didn't pilot this thing. Thank Jill.
Chris's eyes went wider than fully-pumped basketballs as his mouth dropped in sync.
Spider-Man: Who?
Zero: Jill!
Jill turned around in her seat and waved.
Chris's mouth dropped to the floor as he pointed but no words came out.
Jill: Hey Chris!
Chris's face became more and more convulted as he tried to utter words but only mumbles came out.
X-23 and Chun-Li burst into laughter at Chris's comical expression.
Dante: Hey..I think Chris is trying to tell you something Jill.
Jill: Yeah? What is it Chris?
Chris: ...
Jill: Chris? Aren't you glad to see me? We can be on the same team in this game! Aren't you glad?
Chris: I...I...I...yeah...I'm...glad.
Arthur: How do you two know each other?
Spider-Man: Did you two go out?
Chris slapped himself in the face and wiped his eyes. Jill gave him another smile and turned around in her seat. Zero gave was giving everybody high-fives, happy to know they were safe. It was going to be a long ride for Chris. ESPECIALLY after they find Wesker.
Haggar's Camp
Doom: Jill or X-23?
Magneto: Jill. I didn't get a chance to see ALL of her, but from what I saw she's a fine lass.
Skrull: You are such a pedo Maggie. How fucking old are you anyway?
Magneto: Such questions are irrelevant, Ki'rt. Fucking is fucking. No matter the age.
Skrull: Yeah and jail is jail, no matter the age. Pretty sure you don't want jail, Mag. They'd put you in a special cell..where your powers wouldn't work. With a cellmate named Buddha.
Magneto: You are certainly odd, Super Skrull.
Doom: Don't worry Super Skrull. Magneto would never be able to attain such a woman anyway. He couldn't pay them to fuck him.
Magneto: You severely underestimate me, Victor. They call me "MAG"neto for a reason.
Skrull: That is disgusting.
Magneto laughed hysterically as Doom shook his head in terror. Spencer sat near the fireplace in the cabin. He looked over at Magneto, groaned, and continued to watch TV.
Taskmaster walked into the cabin with bags in his hands. The bags had burgers in them from McDonalds.
Taskmaster quietly tip-toed across the cabin, eyeing everyone as he walked by.
C. Viper and Phoenix had just come in from the room next door, while Deadpool and Amaterasu had walked in after Taskmaster.
C. Viper: Why are you acting so susp-
Taskmaster: -NOTHING IS GOING ON. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
Phoenix crossed her arms and stared Taskmaster down. Taskmaster had a soft spot for Phoenix. Everytime she made that face, Taskmaster would almost instantly confess all of his schemes and sins with no resistance.
His knees buckled and his arms weakened as he dropped the bags. He stared at the ceiling and silently mumbled, "FUCK", in his mind.
Phoenix was not pleased.
Phoenix: Taskmaster. Explain. Now.
Taskmaster turned to face Phoenix. He grinned sheepishly and looked down at his boots.
Taskmaster: Phoenix..I DIDN'T DO ANYTHNG. IT WAS TRON'S IDEA. SHE FORCED ME TO GO THROUGH WITH IT!
Seconds later, Tron walked in laughing like a madwoman. She stopped as soon as she saw everyone staring at her. Her face turned red as she slowly glared at Taskmaster, who was standing there pointing at her in fury.
Tron: Uhh...
Taskmaster: She forced me to go to McDonalds with her! She pretended to be sick..so we didn't have to pay for these burgers! It was all her! Not me! All her! She threatened to saw my balls off and use them for her experiments if I didn't help!
Tron's eyes widened as she roared at Taskmaster for his betrayal.
Tron: TASKMASTER. HOW COULD YOU BLAME THIS ALL ON ME!
Skrull: Wow Taskmaster. What a cowardly move...us Skrulls would never blame others for our own crime.
Taskmaster: Well guess what you greenbean looking motherfucker? I'm not a Skrull am I? Nope. I can do what I want!
Skrull's eyebrow twitched as he glared at Taskmaster.
Spencer: Y'know, they're totally going to catch you guys sooner or later. I mean, you know McDonalds can track people who do things like this, right?
Tron: Uhh...no?
Spencer: Yeah. You said you were sick, so they probably have you registered in their databases. You used a fake name, correct?
Tron: Uhm...no...
Spencer: ...Wow..that just makes it even easier for them to track you down. If you don't have an illness, you could be facing up to 30 years in prison.
Taskmaster's face nearly melted off in fright. His gasps for air led to him hyperventilating. He grabbed all of the bags and charged for the door, intent on mowing down anyone in the way.
Tron sat there speechless for a moment, but as she noticed Tron charging straight for her, she used her mech to grab Taskmaster.
Tron: No..we can't go! We can't turn ourselves in! We just can't!
Taskmaster: FUCK YOU BITCH. YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE ILLNESS, NOT ME. I won't get in trouble..I'm just an accomplice!
Doom: Which means you can still be charged for the crime if seen guilty. There's no guarantee you're safe.
Taskmaster glared darts into Tron as he shouted so many profanities Haggar could hear it from his cabin that was on the other side of the camp.
Haggar's door shot open as he walked out towards the cabin everyone was at.
Deadpool laughed hard at Taskmaster, who just proceeded to roll around on the floor.
Deadpool: You should take this to court, Taskmaster! That way, I can meet Phoenix Wright!
Amaterasu howled in agreement.
C. Viper: It was nice knowing you, Taskmaster. You better go fess up now. They might lessen your time. It's better than nothing.
Taskmaster stood up and looked at Phoenix. He then glanced over at Spencer who just smiled and shrugged.
Taskmaster: Let's go, Tron. If we get locked up, I'm pretty sure Tony can bail us out. He's rich!
As soon as Taskmaster finished his sentence, the phone started ringing.
Iron Man picked it up.
Iron Man: Hello? Tony Stark speaking.
?: Yes, in under 20 minutes we have already set up a trial for umm...a man named Taskmaster and Tron Bonne? I think? Well anyway, we need to see those two at the Wright courtroom, immediately. If they don't show, we will find them. And it won't be pretty.
Iron Man: I understand.
Iron Man hung up the phone and glanced over at Taskmaster, whose heart immediately sank to his stomach.
Taskmaster: Was that...for us?
Iron Man: Yes. You two are on trial.
Taskmaster's face was paralyzed. His expression of terror made Dr. Doom burst into tears of laughter.
Super Skrull shook his head while Magneto joined Victor in laughter.
C. Viper patted Taskmaster on the shoulder, while Taskmaster didn't move or say a word.
The rest of the housemates had just got back and they were already being loaded back into the helicopter by Iron Man to head to the courtroom. It was going to be a looooong night.
At the Wright Courtroom
Deadpool was ecstatic as he hopped off of the helicopter. He would finally get to meet his childhood hero, Phoenix Wright and do his trademark, "OBJECTION", point of the finger. He giggled and skipped up the stairs, begging everyone else to hurry up.
Chris and Dante had to carry a paralyzed Taskmaster into the courthouse, as he could not walk on his own. Taskmaster's face was still frozen in that same horror. Tron Bonne wasn't much better. Her fear or jail almost overwhelmed her as she almost fainted at the sight of the Wright courthouse.
Viewtiful Joe: I can't believe we get to meet Phoenix Wright!
Storm: Is he defending the two troublemakers?
Trish: I believe so. I think Miles Edgeworth is the prosecutor.
Chun-Li: Miles is so handsome...
X-23: Who's that?
Morrigan: Don't listen to her. He's not all that great. In fact, I think he's gay for Phoenix Wright.
Phoenix: That is so not true...
C. Viper: I think it is.
Trish: Please..did you SEE the last woman he was with?
Morrigan: Yeah, she left him for another woman. So now HE'S following suit by looking for a man. And those two are rather suspicious...
Magneto: Blah, who gives a flying rat's ass about two attornies?
Trish: You're just mad you're not the subject of gossip.
Chun-Li: He's never the subject of gossip.
Wolverine smiled and laughed at the boiling Magneto, who just levitated into the courthouse with his arms folded.
Spencer stared at the giant courthouse for the longest time. He had always dreamed of becoming an attorney.
Spencer: Man..this place is huge.
C. Viper: Yeah. To think, rookie Phoenix Wright got his own courthouse in honor of him..
Jill: That is quite a feat.
Wesker slowly walked past Jill. He growled as they exchanged glances at each other. Wesker's paranoia had reached its limit. He turned and stared at Jill until she told him what he needed to know.
Wesker: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME?
Jill: Uhh..nothing. Nothing at all.
Wesker's eyebrow twitched. He furiously looked over at C. Viper and back at Jill again.
Wesker: DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL!
Jill: Yes.
Wesker clenched his fists as his groans slowly became louder and louder. Jill just smirked and walked past him, as his boiling point began to reach its limit.
INSIDE THE COURTHOUSE
Dante: Uhh..where do we take this guy?
The guard at the courtroom doors smiled and pointed inside.
Guard: The Thing will take care of him.
Chris and Dante looked at each other confused.
Dante: The what?
Chris: The who?
Guard: The Thing. Ya know? Big, rock-hard guy? Kinda like that big green guy I saw walking around with you guys. He's a mutant.
Chris: Ohhhh! Like the Hulk?
Dante: Must be his brother.
Guard: No, these are two completely different guys. You'll know him when you see him.
Chris: Alright. Well thanks.
The two carried Taskmaster into the large courtroom, and Tron Bonne quietly followed. There were tons of people chatting and discussing the situation.
Phoenix Wright was at his table, collecting papers and chatting with a little girl dressed in purple and another guy that looked sort of like Wright. He was standing alongside a girl in a magician hat.
Miles Edgeworth was on the other side of the room, with a tall man with a bandage on his face and a long green coat. He was also accompanied by a woman with a whip, but she departed to a seat behind Edgeworth a little after.
Dante: Man...this is crazy.
Chris: I'm kinda nervous FOR Taskmaster...
Tron just looked at everyone and quietly gulped.
?: There you guys are! I'll take him off of your hands.
The Thing was just as his name suggested. Just one giant, hulking, ...thing. His body was like a ton of bricks melded together into one superbrick. He carried Taskmaster to his seat beside the judge and nodded at Dante and Chris.
Tron just followed The Thing and sat in her seat.
Dante and Chris walked over to their little section of the courtroom, right behind Phoenix Wright's stand.
Magneto levitated in afterward, sitting right behind Chris. Magneto was pissed.
Dante: What's wrong with you?
Magneto: Stupid women..
Chris: Aww...they hurt poor wittle Maggie's feelings?
Magneto: Watch your words. Or I'll be on trial next for murdering a fool.
Chris: Oh is that a threat?
Magneto: ...
Chun-Li, Trish, Morrigan, Storm, C. Viper, X-23, Phoenix, She-Hulk, and Felicia walked in. 75% of them were excited, the other 25% didn't care.
Chun-Li rushed to her seat in front of Chris. She stared at Phoenix Wright from behind but was too nervous to speak to him. Morrigan was going to ask him if he was gay, but she decided against it.
She-Hulk had walked down in front of Wright's stand and looked him in the eyes. She held out her hand and smiled.
P. Wright: Hey! I remember you! You helped me out in one of my cases..but I never really got to thank you! Ms. Walters?
She-Hulk: I'm surprised you remember me!
P. Wright: You've gotten a little greener since the last time I saw you! Hahaha.
She-Hulk: Don't make me crush this hand of yours...
She said it with a smile, but Wright quickly withdrew his hand in terror. He rubbed the back of his head.
P. Wright: So, I'm guessing you know the guy I'm defending?
She-Hulk: Well, you're defending two people.
P. Wright: TWO!
She-Hulk: Yes, but they were involved in the same crime, so no worries.
P. Wright: Ah, I understand.
The man beside Phoenix Wright spoke up. His name was Apollo Justice. (look him up)
Apollo: Got everything you need, Mr. Wright?
P. Wright: Yeah. Time to burst Edgeworth's little bubble. If I can...hahaha.
The two little girls quickly glared at Wright and clenched their fists.
Maya: Don't doubt yourself!
Trucy: Yeah! You got this!
Edgeworth began to shout from afar.
Edgeworth: Don't worry Wright. I'll make this quick!
P. Wright: ALRIGHT! WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT, MILES.
Edgeworth slapped his stand.
Edgeworth: DON'T CALL ME MILES.
P. Wright: MILES.
Edgeworth: GAAHHHH!
Spencer whispered to Wolverine.
Spencer: These guys act like children..
Wolverine: That says a lot about lawyers these days, bub.
Viewtiful Joe: When is this going to start?
Super Skrull: 5 minutes, I think.
Captain America: Why haven't we said the Pledge of Allegiance?
Doom: What the fuck? This is court. This isn't some event that requires such.
Iron Man: Yeah, Steve. You're not going to find that in court.
Captain America: Well I wouldn't know. I do what's right. I've never been to court.
Dormammu: Good for you. Unfortunately for you, no one cares.
Dante's eyes went wider than dinnerplates when he saw Ryu. Ryu was sitting in the Judge's seat. He was completely oblivious to what was going on and thought he could sit anywhere he wanted.
The memebers could not move from their seats once they sat down, unless it was for a bathroom break. So no one could warn Ryu or make him get down because the courtroom began to be too loud.
Iron Man: Oh god...Ryu..GET DOWN FROM THERE!
She-Hulk and Wesker were the only ones not sitting, but She-Hulk was too busy chatting with Wright.
Chun-Li's jealousy began to boil.
Chun: How does she get to talk to him?
Trish: She's a lawyer too. I believe she helped him on a case once. Or at least..that's what she told me.
Felicia: Yeah. Those little girls are too cute though!
Arthur: I think I should have used the bathroom before I came in here...
Dormammu: You and your bladder problems!
Spencer: Hey, Wesker! Get Ryu down from there!
Wesker and Jill had just walked in. Wesker grinned and laughed at the idiot Ryu, who had been playing with the Judge's gavel. Wesker laughed...and laughed some more as he took his seat beside Magneto and Dormammu.
Amaterasu made a small bolt of lightning smack into Ryu's head. As he screamed in pain, he looked around to see who had hit him. He glanced at The Thing and charged at him with gavel in hand.
Ryu: YOU HIT ME!
The Thing was startled. He grabbed Ryu with one hand and threw him across the room.
The Thing: Woah buddy..don't scare me like that. Next time, I'll clobber you.
Deadpool: Hey, that's The Thing! My buddy!
Viewtiful Joe: The who?
Zero: The what?
Thor: The Thing. Ben Grimm!
Wolverine: Ah, ole' Ben. I bet he won't be too happy to see me...
Hulk: After what you did to him last time?
Captain America chuckled.
Wolverine: Yeah...hahahaha.
Ryu stood up and walked over to where everyone else was sitting. He had a massive headache after crashing head-first into a wall.
Dante: You alright?
Ryu: Head...hurts...
Chris: Well..you charged at a giant boulder with a gavel in your hand. You're lucky he didn't clobber you.
Deadpool looked at the camera and smiled.
Deadpool: Since when did Capcom characters know about Marvel characters' catchphrases?
Deadpool then turned to stare at Phoenix Wright. He cheered in delight as he screamed his name.
Deadpool: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PHOENIX WRIGHT! TAKE THAT. OBJECTION. HOLD IT!
Phoenix Wright looked back at his ecstatic fan and smiled.
Deadpool nearly passed out.
Viewtiful Joe: He's so awesome.
Dr. Doom: Awesome? He looks like an idiot with that anime hair.
Magneto: Shut up, Victor.
Dr. Doom: Magneto..now is NOT the time to start with me.
Skrull: Hahaha.
Just then, a man with a camera stood in front of the courtroom. He had a mic in his hand and he wore aviators. He pulled out a baseball bat out of nowhere and smacked a random zombie through a wall.
Frank: Frank West here reporting in. This just in, there is a courtroom case of epic proportions as Phoenix Wright battles Miles Edgeworth in a struggle of wits. Will Phoenix Wright prevail and send Miles's career into the bowels of the toilet?
Edgeworth quietly gnashed his teeth and groaned.
Edgeworth: Don't...call...me...Miles...
Arthur bit his lower lip and stared at the ceiling.
Arthur: Don't...say...toilet...ugh...
Spencer looked at Arthur and quitely snickered with Wolverine. Thor had eaten an Asgardian Burrito earlier so he wasn't feeling much better than Arthur. Thor just had extreme gas and if he let it go, he might destroy the whole courtroom.
Frank West: And now, presenting the Judge. Alongside him is his personal bodyguard and fellow criminal justice executive, Daredevil.
The Judge slowly walked to his stand, alongside the red-clad superhero. The Judge took his seat and looked at everyone.
Daredevil: All rise.
The judge swung his gavel a couple of times and let everyone be seated. The trial was about to begin.
Taskmaster's face was still frozen. Tron Bonne had almost begun to cry.
Dormammu: This will be interesting...
Wesker: Indeed.
Felicia: I hope Taskmaster pulls through! He's funny!
Phoenix: And rude. But I hope he doesn't go to prison too.
Chris: I think he'll pull it out. I could care less about Tron.
Hulk: That's mean. She's just a little girl.
Dante: Yeah, she doesn't deserve to go to prison. Maybe juvenile detention.
X-23: I agree. Prison would deteriorate her mind..she'd go insane.
Magneto: HAHAHAHAHAHA. Excellent! TAKE HER TO PRISON!
Dormammu: YES. TO PRISON WITH HER!
Dr. Doom: PRISON. PRISON. PRISON.
MODOK: PRISON. PRISON. PRISON!
They began to chant.
The Thing and Daredevil: SHUT UP YOU FOUR.
The four mumbled under their breath and quietly sat back down.
Judge: Taskmaster. Do you have anything you need to say before we start?
Taskmaster was frozen. Not saying a single word.
The judge blinked. He looked over at a crying Tron and asked her the same.
Tron: We didn't do it...
Edgeworth: Of course you didn't.
Judge: Quiet, Miles.
Edgeworth slammed his fists on his table and quietly screamed to himself.
Judge: Go ahead, Miles.
Edgeworth: Your honor, call me-
P. Wright: -Miles.
Edgeworth: SHUT UP, WRIGHT. JUST SHUT UP!
Phoenix Wright just laughed to himself.
Edgeworth: Anyway...where exactly were you when this happened, Taskmaster?
Taskmaster had slowly recovered from his frozen state and analyzed the question, which took him over two minutes to respond.
Taskmaster: At McDonalds.
Edgeworth: And what exactly were you trying to get?
Taskmaster: We wanted burgers.
Edgeworth: So you prentended as though she was sick?
Taskmaster: I...
Tron: ...
P. Wright: Hold it. In this history file, it turns out that Tron Bonne did in fact have an illness. Perhaps she didn't know that she had recovered from it.
Edgeworth: That explains nothing, Wright.
P. Wright: Hear me out...
Just then, as Phoenix Wright was about to finish what he was saying, a man in a mask burst into the courtroom.
It was El Fuerte, along with Adon and Sagat.
El Fuerte: HOLD IT, HOLMES!
P. Wright: He took my catchphrase...
Adon: We have come to take THIS man to trial!
Sagat pushed forth ANOTHER man in a mask. It was the same man they had met that one day at the resteraunt.
It was Agev.
Agev only looked forward at the Judge, not saying a word.
Judge: Uhh...
Sagat: We believe it was HIM. He was the one that murdered Gen!
Adon: It was all this guy! Who says his name is..."Agev!"
Chun-Li: HIM!
C. Viper: Agev? Wait..isn't that..
Hulk: Hulk remembers Agev. Hulk wants to punch his face in! Crush that mask!
Wolverine: Yeah, I've been itching to slice his mask in half..just to claw his face in two.
Agev: I wasn't the one that killed Gen. It was THEM!
He pointed at all of the cast of MvC3.
Agev: The body was at their doorstep, and they took it and placed it on their neighbors' doorstep.
Just then, another man had appeared and pointed at the cast as well. His name was Edward Falcon. (Power Stone)
Edward: Yeah I saw one of these guys put the body on my doorstep because I just so happened to be going to lock my door. I didn't get a chance to open the door to see who it was because I get quite queasy over dead bodies...
Agev: See? It was one of them, not me.
Adon: But I saw you slay him in the ninja suit!
Agev: You passed out, how could you have seen anything? I was there, about to order my food when the blackout occured. Then I heard screams. So I walked back to see what was going on..I saw all you guys, and I left in horror.
Dante: You're a liar!
Taskmaster: So does this mean we're off the hook? Because our crime is pretty tame compared to this shit...
Edgeworth: So you admit it?
Taskmaster: No!
Arthur: I really have to use the bathroom please!
Frank West: Man..my story is going to go through the roof! So much..profit..potential!
Frank West took pictures in a crazy frenzy.
Edward: Uh..can I go now?
Agev: No. You are a witness. You must stay.
Edward: Dammit...
Sagat: We'll see who murdered Gen...we'll see. You'll get what you deserve, Agev.
Agev mumbled under his breath.
Agev: We'll see about that..
Ryu: ...VEGA! I remember him!
Agev's eyes lit up. He glared at Ryu with such fury. The claw on his hand cursed his name as Agev cringed.
C. Viper: Yeah...yeah! That's him! That mask..that claw! That is Vega!
Chun-Li: Trying to trick us by changing his look and his name backwards!
Wesker: How did Ryu manage to deduce something like that?
Dormammu: Is Ryu actually a crouching moron, hidden genius?
Skrull: Perhaps.
Trish: Vega, huh? Looks like your little scheme is up.
Chun-Li: Now we have a proper case, now that we really know who you are!
P. Wright: What is going on...
Maya: No idea.
Apollo: ...
Sagat: Let's go, Vega. Time to deliver justice once and for all.
Thor was sitting quietly in his seat but he couldn't take it anymore. He let out one of the loudest farts in the history of the universe. The fart was so loud it knocked a couple of people off of their feet. Wesker's shades flew off into the distance and it messed all of the girls' hair up. Ryu's headband flew off of his head and smacked into Sagat, who clenched it in his hands.
Trish: That was..
X-23: Disgusting.
Dante, Chris, Spider-Man, Spencer, Wolverine, and Hulk just looked at each other and burst out into an unstoppable laughter as Arthur sprinted as fast as he could to the restroom. Morrigan followed Arthur as he screamed for her to leave him alone.
Just then, Captain Commando appeared out of nowhere and punched El Fuerte in the face.
Captain Commando: That's for burning my pancakes at Ihop!
El Fuerte fainted.
Captain Commando quickly ran off with his team following right in behind. To make the chaos even more...chaotic...Ghost Rider had burst through the wall.
Ghost Rider: I'll figure out who's guilty and who's not.
She-Hulk: Ghost Rider!
Ghost Rider: That's right. I'm in this game now. Who wants to LOOK INTO MY EYES first?
He pointed at Taskmaster, who quickly shook his head furiously. Tron Bonne just whistled as she looked away.
Edgeworth: WHAT IS GOING ON!
P. Wright: Quiet, Miles!
Edgeworth stood on his table and kicked papers at Wright.
Edgeworth: NOW YOU LISTEN HERE, WRIGHT!
Deadpool: This is the best episode of Phoenix Wrong ever...
Amaterasu nodded in agreement.
Sagat: So do we get a trial or not?
Dormammu shouted out of nowhere, "NO!".
Judge: As soon as everyone takes their seats and I can figure out who's doing what, yes.
Adon: Good.
Vega: Grr...
Thor: Ugh...*small fart*
C. Viper: Thor..go take a load off. Please.
Thor: By the power of Asgard...my stomach is fucked up.
Chris and Spider-Man almost died of laughter. No one expected Thor of all people to day such a thing.
Spencer wiped tears from his eyes as Wesker began to chuckle. Jill looked at Zero, who just shrugged.
Ghost Rider: Uhh...so...
Judge: ...10 minute break. I've got to figure all of this out...
Frank West: ...This is soooo good!
Edward: I just wanna go home...
Frank West: We'll be back afer these commercial messages folks!
Deadpool: Hey, that's my line!
TBC
Wow...what a clusterfuck of randomness, huh? I gotta squeeze another out by tomorrow though. So I can at least get the new characters in before the game comes out.