Summary: Jack takes up residence with Calvin and Hobbes during his vacation.
And now back to Calvin and Hobbes: The Series
Written by Swing123 and Garfieldodie
Robot's Day Out
It was a regular day in Yellowstone National Park.
Tourists from all over the states were driving through, watching for buffalo and other animals. People were roaming through the gift shops, examining the items around them. Forest Rangers were giving tours out to some more people to the main parts of the camp.
And today, there was an extra large group of people gathered before Old Faithful.
"Well, everyone," The tour guide said, turning to the geyser, sitting about fifty feet away from them. "Old Faithful is predicted to blow at any second, now. I'd like to thank you for your patience while we waited for it to happen."
Several people glared at him.
The guide blinked.
"Right." He said. "Well, are there any questions?"
Someone raised their hand.
"Yes," The guide said, turning to a man.
"Are the rumors true about something living underneath Old Faithful?" He asked.
The guide stared at him.
"Uh, I hate to dash an exciting rumor like that, but no. There is nothing underneath this place. Especially under here. The high level of heat and carbon dioxide would kill anything living down there."
A woman raised her hand.
"Yes?" The guide asked, turning around.
"But there have been numerous sightings of a tall tin man and a guy with a freaky haircut appearing and disappearing around the geyser." She said.
The guide blinked.
"Well, there are logical explanations to that." He said. "For example, the gas around the geyser could create the shape of something moving around. It could also be an animal or... What exactly do you mean by sightings?"
The woman held up a clipboard, and began reading it.
"March 7th, 2007, 6:54PM" She read. "A tall silver man walks into the gift shop by Old Faithful, purchases a copy ofStar Wars Episode VIon DVD, leaves the store, and vanishes into thin air."
The guide scratched his chin.
"Well..."
"January 4th, 2006, 11:32AM." The woman continued. "Man with a tall red hair style appears around Old Faithful kicking a rock, angrily, demanding, and I quote, 'You stupid pile of rusty metal! Let me in before someone sees me!'."
"Uh..." The guide started.
"July 8th, 2007, 12:05PM," She continued. "Several items, including empty Pepsi bottles, screwdrivers, a box of Special K cereal, and various DVD cases from Blockbuster are seen in the geyser's water upon eruption. July 9th, 2007, 12:45PM, Several screams from an unknown source are heard complaining about Blockbuster's price for replacing movies."
The guide rolled his eyes.
"August 4th 2006," She continued. "A tall metal man appears in the..."
"Stuff like this happens all time." The tour guide interrupted, suddenly. "We occasionally have some people over by Old Faithful to do whatever it is they do when they go back there. The fog can sometimes make it look like there made of metal or they have weird hair cuts. Sometimes they may leave their tools by the geyser , and they go up with it. All of this doesn't point to anything living underneath the park."
"But there are several other sightings that have happened in the past three years," The woman said. "There has to be something going on."
"Most of this stuff is the work of pranksters and people without lives," The guide assured. "We've done a radar check underneath Old Faithful. There is nothing there. Now, let's watch. It's going to erupt, soon."
Everyone turned to the geyser.
The guide checked his watch.
"Three... two... one..."
Suddenly, water started bubbling at the base of the geyser.
PPSSSSSSSSSST!!
Everyone watched in amazement as the water shot straight upward into the air.
This went on for about thirty seconds.
Then, something happened.
One of the boulders beside Old Faithful suddenly flipped over.
Everyone's attention was drawn to it.
There was a pause, and suddenly, a tall chrome man appeared from behind the boulder.
Everyone stared at him, blankly.
Jack walked over to the geyser and kicked it.
Suddenly, the water stopped shooting upward.
It all fell to the ground and halted.
"Are we getting the cable back, now?" Jack inquired, turning to the boulder.
"YES!" Came a voice from behind it. "THE MAD SCIENTIST SHOW IS BACK ON! NOW GET BACK IN HERE BEFORE SOMEONE SEES YOU!!"
Jack waved to the stunned people over by the fence, and walked back to the boulder.
He disappeared behind it, and suddenly, it flipped back over onto its side.
There was a long moment of silence.
The guide stared at the geyser with his mouth hanging open.
"Excuse me, sir, do you have the time?" The woman asked, looking up from writing on her clipboard.
The guide heaved a deep sigh.
Jack T. Robot walked through Brainstorm's lab, drinking a bottle of lemonade.
Brainstorm was sitting in front of a computer monitor, watching a TV show, while using a screwdriver with his latest invention.
He glared at Jack as he walked by.
"And what do you think you're doing?!" he demanded.
"Getting a refill," Jack said, shaking the bottle.
"I thought I told you to file through those reports I gave you!" Brainstorm shouted.
"I did," Jack said, pouring out some lemonade.
"It took you fifteen seconds to do it?" Brainstorm inquired.
"Yep, I threw it all away." Jack said.
"WHAT?!" Brainstorm screamed, dropping his invention. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DECIDE WHICH IDEA TO RULE THE WORLD WAS THE BEST!! YOU DIDN'T EVEN READ THEM?!"
"No, I can kind of predict that they were all incredibly idiotic and stupid," Jack said, sitting down at his chair.
Brainstorm's eyes slammed shut.
"YOU STUPID CHUNK OF STEEL!! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO COME UP WITH THOSE IDEAS?!"
Jack paused.
"Two... three minutes?" He asked.
Brainstorm's eyes narrowed.
"Not far off, am I?"
"JACK!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS?! WHAT DO I PAY YOU FOR?!"
"You don't pay me," Jack said, looking up.
"I INVENTED YOU SO YOU COULD ASSIST ME IN TAKING OVER THE WORLD!! YOU'RE THE MOST WORTHLESS ROBOT I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!"
"Uh huh." Jack replied.
"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING ME?!" Brainstorm demanded.
"No." Jack replied.
"OK, ROBOT! THAT DOES IT!!"
Brainstorm leaped to his feet.
"THINGS ARE GOING TO BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE FROM NOW ON!!"
Jack turned the page to his magazine.
"YOU'RE GOING TO START PICKING UP SOME MORE CHORES!! I WANT YOU TO SWEEP THE LAB, CLEAN OUT THE BEAKERS, CATAGORIZE ALL THE DEADLY VIRUSES AND BUY THE GROCERIES!!"
Jack looked up.
"If I recall, that's all stuff that I already do." He said.
Brainstorm paused.
"WELL, YOU'RE GONNA START DOING MORE!!" the scientist screeched, hysterically.
Jack heaved a sigh and leaned forward, rubbing his forehead.
"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM THE BOSS HERE!! I MAKE THE RULES! AND WHEN I SAY JUMP, YOU ASK ME 'HOW HIGH?'!!"
Jack stared at Brainstorm for a long moment.
Brainstorm continued.
"I SLAVE ALL DAY IN THIS STUPID LAB, AND ALL YOU DO IS LIE AROUND DRINKING SODA AND WATCHING ME!!"
"No, actually, I spend most of my time trying to keep you from killing yourself." Jack said.
"EXCUSES, EXCUSES!! THAT'S ALL YOU ARE JACK!! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Jack's eyes squeezed shut and his teeth gritted.
"JACK!! JACK, I'M TALKING TO YOU!! ARE YOU LISTENING ME?!"
Just then, Jack stood up.
Brainstorm jumped.
He had almost never seen Jack make abrupt movements like that.
Jack glared at Brainstorm, then turned and walked away.
Brainstorm stared after him.
"Uh... Jack?" He said, unsurely. "You're not evil, again, are you?"
"No," Jack said from inside his room.
"OK, that's a relief." Brainstorm sighed. "Now, where was I? Oh, right! YOU STUPID HUNK OF RUSTY METAL!! YOU WORTHLESS, ROBOTIC, SODA CONSUMING FREAK! YOU LAZY, BORED... not... helpful... thing... YOU GREAT BIG NOT HELPING... of... me that... uh..."
Suddenly, Jack reappeared in the doorway.
Brainstorm stared at him.
He was holding a couple of suitcases.
"Uh... What are you doing?" Brainstorm asked.
"I'm taking my vacation time," Jack replied, simply.
Brainstorm blinked.
"What are you talking about? You don't have vacation time!"
"Do now," Jack said, walking past Brainstorm with the suitcases.
"JACK!" Brainstorm screeched, whipping around. "JACK, I AM ORDERING YOU! I AM ORDERING YOU!! GET BACK HERE, WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME!! WHO'S GOING TO HELP ME WHEN I GET STUCK IN THE AIR VENT?!"
"Don't sweat it, Frank," Jack said, walking up to a coat rack. "I'll be back in a week. I'm pretty sure you can't even kill yourself in that amount of time."
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!" Brainstorm screeched. "AND YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT I COULD TO!!"
"You can't even find your back pocket in one week." Jack said, putting on a sun hat and a red checkered jacket. "I need a break from this place. More specifically, you."
"YOU'LL BE BACK!!" Brainstorm screamed. "I PROMISE YOU!! YOU'LL BE BACK!!"
Jack stared at Brainstorm for a long moment.
"Uh... yeah, I think I already said that. I'll be back in a week." He said.
"OH SO YOU'RE A SMART GUY, HUH?!" Brainstorm shrieked.
Jack rolled his eyes.
"See ya, Frank," Jack said, walking back to the elevator. "Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone."
Jack walked into the elevator and pushed the button.
"DOCTOR BRAIN...!!"
The elevator doors closed before Brainstorm could finish.
Brainstorm glared at the elevator door.
"I'm going to give him fifteen seconds," He grumbled, crossing his arms.
There was a moment of silence.
Fifteen seconds went by.
Brainstorm blinked.
"COMPUTER!!" He shouted, whirling around to the console. "OPEN VISUAL LINK! CAMERA NUMBER 9!"
Suddenly, the large monitor above the console was filled was static, then suddenly came back on, showing the inside of the elevator.
Jack was standing in the middle of it, sipping on a coke and leaning against his suitcases, staring ahead with his usual bored look.
"Look at him squirm!" Brainstorm hissed. "He won't even reach ground level before realizing the error of his ways!! He'll be desperately pushing the button to return ANY SECOND, NOW!!"
Brainstorm leaped into his chair, and fixed his gaze onto the monitor.
Jack took another sip from his coke.
Brainstorm stared at him.
Jack reached into his suitcase and pulled out the August issue of ROBOTS WEEKLY, and started reading.
Brainstorm blinked.
Suddenly Jack reached for the buttons.
Brainstorm's eyes burst open.
Jack put his coke down on the railing beside the buttons, and turned back to his magazine.
Brainstorm glared at the monitor.
Just then, the elevator dinged, and the doors began opening.
Jack put his magazine back, picked his soda and suitcases up, and walked out.
There was a small pause.
Brainstorm cut his eyes from side to side.
Then, he looked back up at the monitor.
Then, he stood up.
"Eh, it's only for a week," He shrugged. "That time will fly by like an insane Canadian Goose!"
Brainstorm paused, as if expecting a smart comeback for that.
Nothing came.
Brainstorm looked around the empty lab.
"Uhh... right." He said to himself.
He walked over to his desk, and continued working on his invention.
Just then, he spotted a screw on the side with had began loosening up.
He whipped around.
"JACK!! GET IN HERE AND GIVE ME MY SCREWDRIVER!! NOW I SAY!!"
He stared at the empty lab.
He blinked in realization.
"Oh, right. You're gone." He said, rubbing his chin. "WELL WHO NEEDS YOU ANYWAY?! THIS WILL BE THE PERFECT TIME TO WORK ON THINGS WITHOUT YOU SCREWING IT ALL UP!! SO THERE!!"
And he whipped back around to his invention.
"Oh, and in case your currently talking behind my back, IT'S DOCTOR BRAINSTORM!!" He screeched.
Jack walked into the small enclosed circular space between the ground and the elevator down to the lab.
Whistling to himself, he pushed a red button on the steel wall.
BZZZZZT!! BZZZZZT!! BZZZZZT!! BZZZZZT!! BZZZZZT!!
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!
Suddenly, air shot out of the ceiling above him, and began lifting up.
Jack pushed another button.
The floor then started moving upward, pushing Jack onto ground level.
The first thing he saw were several shocked tourists staring at him from the fence few hundred feet away.
Jack walked out from behind the boulder, holding his suitcases.
He then turned, and kicked it.
The boulder flipped back onto its side.
"Yo," He said, waving at the tourists.
And with that, he started walking away.
"Uh, sir!" Someone called after him. "Can you confirm any beliefs about something living underneath Old Faithful?"
Jack rolled his eyes, and ignored him.
He walked into a nearby forest and disappeared.
He had one whole week all to himself.
And he was going to make the best out of it.
Calvin was just getting off the school bus. He walked up to the door and pulled it open.
"I'M HOME!"
WHUMP!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGHH!!"
Calvin and Hobbes flew through the air and landed with a hard crash into a cold hard metal object.
They both rolled around on the ground, not noticing they were taking the metal object along with them. They punched, bit, kicked and thrashed for two minutes before they finally heard a voice come from beneath them.
"Excuse me, could you stop that? You're inflicting pain on me."
They both stopped, Calvin holding Hobbes by the neck and in mid-punch. They both dared to look down at the source of the voice.
They found a silver robot underneath them.
"Jack?!" they asked in surprise.
"Good day, gents," Jack replied calmly.
Calvin and Hobbes scrambled to get off of him.
"Sorry, Jack," said Hobbes. "I didn't see you there."
"It's quite alright," he replied, getting to his feet. "It's refreshing to be attacked by a non-Frank invention."
Jack flipped open the back of his hand, which revealed a button, which he pressed.
"What's that?" Calvin asked, dusting himself off.
"Auto-repair system," Jack explained.
Indeed, any damages that Calvin and Hobbes had inadvertently inflicted up Jack's body were immediately repaired. The dents on his head smoothed out. The screws on his head reassembled themselves. The lose wires in Jack's body reconnected and disappeared back into his body.
Calvin and Hobbes watched this for a while.
"Anyway, what are you doing here?" Hobbes asked.
Jack picked up the suitcase he had dropped.
Calvin stared at it.
"Did you finally move out?" he asked.
"Nah," Jack replied. "I don't have enough suitcases to do that. I'm just on vacation for a week."
"Oh, are you?" asked Hobbes. "When did they start letting robots stay at Motel Sixes?"
Jack shook his head.
"No, I haven't found a place to stay yet."
"Oh," said Calvin. "Well, there's a bus terminal in the city. You could probably stay there."
Jack paused.
"Actually, I was sort of thinking I could stay here," he said.
Calvin and Hobbes looked confused for a few seconds before they noticed he was leaning slightly in the direction of their house.
Calvin's eyes grew wide.
"WHAT?!" he shouted.
"Well, I figured, since we're pals and everything, maybe I could just—"
"NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! NEGATIVE! NO TRESPASSING!" Calvin shouted.
Hobbes quickly clamped a paw of Calvin's mouth.
"I think what Calvin's trying to say is…and I'm quoting every barkeeper in Cleveland here…you don't have to go home, but you can't stay here," he said.
Jack paused again.
"Guys, I don't have anywhere else to go," he said. "Besides, it's only for one week. I just need a break from the chaos."
Calvin finally got Hobbes' paw off of his face.
"There'll be chaos if Mom and Dad find out that I'm hiding a runaway robot in the house!" he said angrily.
Hobbes quickly pulled Calvin aside.
"Excuse us," he said to Jack before turning themselves around.
Jack leaned against the mailbox and waited.
Calvin and Hobbes spoke in hushed voices.
"Look, Calvin, he clearly just wants to get away from Dr Brainstorm!" Hobbes hissed. "Even those with the best patience need a break every once in a while."
"Hobbes, we can't keep Jack here! Mom and Dad would freak! How am I going to explain when all the beverages in our house disappear?!"
"Look, we'll think of something! Let's try it for one day and see what happens!"
Calvin glanced over his shoulder and looked at Jack.
Jack was watching a bird fly by.
Calvin sighed and rejoined Hobbes.
"Okay," he relented. "Let's try it once, and if it doesn't work, we throw him out on his soup can butt."
Hobbes nodded.
They both whipped around and looked Jack.
Jack looked down at them and waited.
"Okay, Jack," Calvin said firmly. "You have 24 hours to prove you can be a formidable guest, and that's that!"
"Y-okay," Jack said, giving them a thumbs-up.
Calvin paused.
"Now then… we need to find a way to sneak you inside," he said, rubbing his chin. "I don't have my hypercube with me."
Hobbes paused.
"We could always use your backpack," he said. "It should work in the same way as that duffel bag of yours."
Calvin glanced at the backpack.
"No, I've tried. Believe me, I've tried," he said.
Then Calvin had an idea. He pulled a hammer out of his backpack.
"Jack, hold still," he said, advancing on him.
Jack stared at the hammer.
"I don't like where this is going," he said unsurely, backing away.
Mom was sitting on the couch sipping tea and reading a magazine.
CLANG! WHAM! CRASH! SMASH! RIP! BANG! CLANK! BAM! RAM! SLAM!
She was oblivious to the noise outside.
There was a pause.
Then, Calvin appeared in the doorway with Hobbes draped over his shoulder and a rather overstuffed backpack on his back.
"Hi, Mom. I'm home," he said
"How was school, dear?" she asked.
"Informative. We're going up to my room."
"Okay."
Calvin and Hobbes scurried up the stairs and into the bedroom.
Once Hobbes had secured the door, Calvin opened the backpack and held it upside down.
After all the books had tumbled out, a gigantic pile of metal came falling out and crashed on the floor.
Calvin had broken Jack into several pieces.
Finally, Jack's head landed on the pile.
"There we go," Calvin grinned.
"That's one experience I'd rather not go through again," Jack sighed. "Care to fix me now?"
"Sure."
Calvin fished through the pile of metal until he located Jack's right hand.
"Here we go," he said.
He opened up the back of the hand and pressed the button.
Jack's auto-repair system kicked in, and in a flurry of metal and wires, Jack was reassembled.
"Huh, I didn't think that would actually work," Hobbes said.
"This was an interesting experience," Jack sighed. "Let's not do it again."
He set his suitcase down on the bed, and then sat down on it.
Calvin and Hobbes stared at him.
"Jack, what are you doing?" Calvin asked.
"Setting up camp," he said.
"Jack, that's our bed," said Hobbes.
"And…?"
"Jack, we are not a hotel!" Calvin said sternly. "We can get you a cot set up in the attic or something, but you can not stay on my bed!"
"But I'm on vacation!"
"And you're in our house!" Calvin retorted. "We can send you right back to Brainstorm, if you want. We could pause time and take you right back to him."
Jack rose up a hand, defeated.
"Fine," he said, annoyed. "I'll look around your attic for something to sleep on."
"Good," said Calvin. "Hobbes, show him the way."
"Right," Hobbes sighed. "Come on, Jack."
Hobbes led the robot out of the room, and left Calvin by himself. He muttered something as he smoothed out the bed sheets.
"Stupid robots putting their metal butts on my bed…," he muttered. "Oh great, now they smell like grease and oil!"
Hobbes climbed up into the attic and looked around.
"Alright, here we are," he said, turning on the light.
Jack stuck his head up the hatch and looked around.
"Huh," he said. "You don't clean much, do you?"
"No," said Hobbes. "We don't really use the attic to entertain."
Hobbes went further into the attic as Jack hauled his suitcase up into the room. He located a small cot in the corner. He promptly pulled out and set it up near the boarded up window.
"Okay," he said, finishing it up. "You can sleep here."
Jack stared at it.
"My bed was better than this," he said. "And I worked off of Frank's salary, so that's saying something."
Hobbes glared at him.
"Take it or leave it," he said. "It's either this, or the treehouse, and there are birds living there."
And with that, he left.
Jack stared at the bed before sitting down.
"Okay…," he said. "I wonder if this place has a pool."
Back at the lab, Dr Brainstorm was at work on another invention. He was tinkering away at something that would probably go wrong anyway, but that didn't stop him.
As he worked, he found he needed a screwdriver. He looked up and started a search for one. He started to shove things around until he found the screwdriver he needed.
After he finished screwing that screw in tightly, he then picked up a small container.
"Please be right…," he whispered.
He slowly applied a liquid to the invention.
Once that was done, he put the container back, and then started looking for his welder and the mask that went with it.
"Okay, let's try this…," he said.
Brainstorm put the mask on and turned on the welder.
Unfortunately, Brainstorm had forgotten one important thing.
KABLAM!
Always put labels on your containers.
Brainstorm was blown over onto his back. He lifted the mask off and stared in shock at what had happened. The invention was now ablaze, and it was raining little bits of metal.
Brainstorm suddenly perked up.
"Oh…!" he said, realizing. "So that's where I put the nitroglycerin!"
Then he began to panic.
"FIREMAN! HELP! I NEED AN ADULT!"
He ran around the room panicking and looking for something to put it out.
"Oh, Jack would know how to treat this!" he groaned. "And he's the one who labels the containers! HELP! GET ME THE HOW-TO-PUT-A-FIRE-OUT PAGE FROM WIKIPEDIA!" And he tore out of the room, the fire growing larger.
Jack was in Calvin's room, leaning against the dresser.
Calvin was hard at work on the Time Machine.
As he worked with a magic marker, he looked up and saw Jack staring down at him.
"Jack…?" he asked. "What are you doing?"
"Waiting," Jack replied.
"Ah, I see."
Calvin resumed working.
There was a fifteen second pause as he continued with Jack staring at him.
Finally, he looked up again.
"Okay, I'll bite. Waiting for…?"
"For the invention to blow up."
Calvin paused.
"Jack, the box doesn't blow up. The most that happens is that I misspell the command button, and the best way to solve that is through whiteout," he said, showing him the marker and whiteout.
"Oh, well, I'll stay just in case," Jack said.
Calvin shrugged.
"Have it your way," he said. He resumed his work.
There was a pause.
Hobbes came in.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"Waiting for Calvin to nearly be killed and for me to methodically save him at the last minute," Jack replied.
Hobbes sighed.
"Jack, there's a slight problem with that," he said.
"What's that?"
"Calvin's inventions actually work."
Jack glanced at Calvin.
"Ah," he said. "Good point."
"Come on," said Hobbes. "I've got some dominos. We could play a game."
Jack sighed.
"Yeah, okay," he said, following Hobbes out of the room.
Downstairs, Hobbes and Jack were playing a dominos game.
"Okay, I'm knocking," said Hobbes. He knocked on the table.
Jack put down a domino.
Hobbes knocked again.
Jack put down another domino.
This repeated four times, getting quicker each time.
Hobbes stared at the dominos sitting before him.
"Man!" he cried. "That's five out of six games you've won! It's like you know what I've got!"
"Yep," Jack replied.
There was a pause.
Hobbes stared at Jack.
"Wha… You mean you do?" he asked.
"Yes. You see, it's all a matter of patterns."
"But the dominos are all face down."
"I know. You see, I'm able to see the patterns that fingerprints make on the backsides of the dominos. By memorizing them all, I can remember each domino and know what to do during the game."
There was a pause as Hobbes stared at him disbelievingly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Jack. "Is there supposed to be some sort of challenge?"
"Yes!" Hobbes cried. "It's supposed to be a battle of wits!"
"Ah, I see. Should I close my eyes? Would that help?"
Hobbes glared at him, but before he could continue, he heard footsteps.
"Uh-oh," he said, looking out the door. "We need to hide you!"
Hobbes ran frantically around the room, looking for a possibly hiding place.
Jack just sat there, watching him and looking bored.
Finally, Hobbes found an empty cabinet under the sink. Quickly, he grabbed Jack and hurled him inside it.
"Ouch," Jack mumbled.
"Shh!" Hobbes hissed.
Hobbes leaned against the door and waited.
Mom entered the room, reading a book and not noticing him. She walked past him and to the counter, where she picked up a cup. She filled it with water from the sink, took a brief sip, and then left the kitchen.
Hobbes breathed a sigh of relief and yanked the cabinet door open, allowing Jack to tumble out.
"That was close," Hobbes sighed.
"No, that was close," said Jack, getting up.
Hobbes shrugged and led him out of the room.
"Come on, you need to go back into the attic. It isn't safe out here."
"But I wanted to get something to drink!" Jack objected.
Hobbes simply pulled him onwards.
That night, Jack was sitting down on his bed, getting under the covers.
"Hmmm…," he said. "I'm thirsty."
Jack got up and walked down the hatch in the attic to the hallway. He walked past Calvin's room, the bathroom and that hall closet, and down the stairs to the living room, and then into the kitchen.
Once he got there, he opened the fridge and found a jug of lemonade. He took it out and walked back upstairs into the attic. He gulped the orange juice down.
The next morning, Mom went downstairs for breakfast.
As she prepared her morning routine, she went to the fridge. She stared in shock.
Every beverage in the fridge was gone, the milk, the orange juice, the apple juice, everything.
She scowled angrily.
"CALVIN!!" she shouted.
There was no response.
"CALVIN, GET DOWN HERE!"
Still no response came.
Mom angrily stormed upstairs and ripped Calvin's door open.
WHAM!
"WAKE UP!" she shrieked.
Calvin shot up in the air and landed back in the bed with a WHUMP!
"What…?" he asked groggily.
"YOU DRANK ALL OUR DRINKS LAST NIGHT!" Mom shouted.
Calvin stared at her.
"…Huh?" he asked.
"I'm surprised you didn't wet the bed, you drank so much!" she continued.
Calvin finally remembered who he had let in the house yesterday, and then clenched his eyes shut tight.
"Right, Mom, I'm sorry," he groaned. "I must have been sleepwalking."
Mom glared at him.
"You are so grounded," she growled. "Now get dressed and get ready for school."
With that, she slammed the door shut.
Calvin groaned again and got out of bed, and then he climbed into the bottom drawer of his dresser.
"Huh," said Hobbes. "I wonder how that happened."
Calvin glared at him and shut the drawer he was in. Each drawer going up opened slightly, and then he emerged at the top, fully dressed.
"Hobbes, I have to go to school now, so you are in charge of the robot," he ordered.
"Mm-hmmm…," Hobbes murmured, drifting off to sleep again.
Calvin jumped up on the bed and slapped Hobbes awake again.
"Ow!" Hobbes cried.
"Wake up, ya weasel!" Calvin said angrily. "Jack is living in our house, and that means he's our responsibility! That includes you! Now get the heck up!"
Hobbes groaned and slunk out of bed.
Calvin watched him as he put his jacket on.
"I swear, you tigers are half liquid," he said, picking up his backpack and leaving.
"Shaddup," Hobbes retorted, facedown in the carpet.
Calvin left.
Hobbes got up on all fours and cricked his neck, and stretched in that weird way that cats stretch. Then he got up and on his feet and left.
Back at the lab, Brainstorm had just woken up and was walking into the main part of the lab for breakfast.
The fire from yesterday was still blazing.
He glared at it.
"Are you still here?" he groaned.
Ignoring it, he poured himself a bowl of Cheerios. Then he added the milk. Then he glanced at the fire, then at the milk, and then threw the milk on the fire, partially putting it out.
Then he started eating his cereal in silence.
After about a minute, he glanced at the calendar.
"Only about six days to go," he sighed.
Hobbes walked into the living room to watch his show about Jungle Cats.
When he got to the purple chair that sat before the antique TV, he found Jack sitting there. He groaned inwardly.
"Jack…?" he asked.
"Yo," Jack replied, sipping some pop from the can.
"My show is going to be on in about two minutes."
"That's nice."
There was a pause.
Hobbes mentally fought for a response.
"I'd, er, like to watch it."
"Good for you."
"…Um, we only have one TV, and it's that TV."
"I noticed."
"Uh-huh, and I'd like to sit before it and watch my program."
"Ah, a most awkward situation this is, eh, Hobbo?" Jack chuckled.
Hobbes chuckled unsurely.
"Uh, yeah, heh, heh," he said.
There was a pause.
Jack didn't move from the chair.
Hobbes finally sighed.
"Can I watch my show now?"
"No."
"Jack, why not?"
"I'm on vacation."
"YOU'RE IN MY CHAIR!" Hobbes yelled angrily.
"Indeed."
Hobbes growled angrily, trying hard to keep his claws from extending.
"Jack, you're coming dangerously close to crossing the line!" he said.
"You've got a very cheap TV," Jack noted. "It's got rabbit ears! You know, Frank may have been dumb, but he wasn't cheap! He went all out and got a gigantic big screen with surround sound and four recliners!"
"WELL, GUESS WHAT!!" Hobbes shouted. "YOU'RE NOT WITH FRANK!! YOU'RE WITH US!! AND I'M AFRAID THAT THERE ARE A FEW RULES IN THIS HOUSE!! RULE ONE: GET OUT OF MY CHAIR!!"
Jack stared dully at Hobbes.
"Get me some more pop, will ya?" he asked, waving the empty can at Hobbes.
Frustrated, Hobbes picked Jack up and hurled him out of the chair.
CRASH!
He landed in a heap in the corner.
Hobbes climbed into the chair and changed the channel.
Jack lay there and sighed, clearly annoyed.
"Fine, I'll go back to the attic," he said.
Hobbes simply grumbled as Jack left.
"Stupid, freeloading robots and their stupid TV shows…," he muttered.
Brainstorm, now beaten and slightly singed by the flames, cowered in the corner of the lab, talking into a tape recorder.
"Dear Diary, I am trapped in the lab, the outlook is incredibly bleak, I've used up all the milk on the fire, the oily rags and typing paper have caught flames, the vat of nitroglycerin has gone alight, the matchstick cupboard is burning, and the firewood is slowly turning into ashes. I'm almost certain I shall die within the next few hours. If I don't live, I want Jack to know…HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS, YOU ROBOTIC HOTSHAVE DISPENSER?! I'LL SEE TO IT YOU ROT IN A BURNING LAB FOR THIS! JOKE'S ON YOU!! ALL YOUR STUFF IS HERE!! …Oh, and I want to be cremated, by the way… IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE ANYMORE! I have to go. The recorder is beginning to melt."
He tucked the recorder away in his lab coat, and he started to sing.
"Jesus, take the wheel…!" he sang.
Jack sat in the attic, waiting for something to happen.
Then he saw the school bus drive up.
The door slid open, Calvin came out, and then the bus drove away.
Calvin started walking towards the house, and he opened the door.
"I'M HOME!!" he shouted.
WHAM!
Hobbes pounced Calvin, and they went hurtling down the walk, rolling around and fighting like they always did.
Jack rolled his eyes.
"Savages…," he muttered.
After a few minutes, Calvin and Hobbes finally stopped fighting and started laughing, and then started walking back into the house.
After awhile, Calvin came up into the attic.
"Hey, Jack," he said. "How was your day?"
Jack sighed.
"Well, this vacation hasn't been going very well," he said. "I can't be seen by your parents, so I've been repeatedly stuffed into tight compartments so as not to be seen. I've been thrown out of chairs. I've watched shows on a TV that fits on top of a small box. I've been forced to sleep on a bed that's more pathetic than my own! I've had no one to insult and be sarcastic to because none of you are as stupid as Frank."
Calvin rolled his eyes.
"I see," he said, sitting down beside Jack on the bed. "How about you…go back to Frank?"
"I can't! My vacation isn't over."
"Jack, this isn't a vacation," Calvin said. "This is just a distraction! You need to go home if you're not enjoying yourself. Do you know how much I'd love to just leave Dad during our camping trips? I can't! But you can! You can escape!"
Jack paused to think for a moment.
Brainstorm was now crossing his fingers and hiding under a chair.
"OH, WHY CAN'T I EVER GET A BREAK?!" he shouted.
CRASH!
He looked up and saw that something had come in through the jammed doors.
Carefully, he ran over to it and picked the object up.
"What's this…?" he wondered.
Then he realized.
"Jack's hand?" he asked.
He flipped the back of it over.
There was a button on it.
Suddenly, there was a crash on the other end of the door.
WHAM!
Brainstorm looked up in surprise at the sudden indentation on the door.
"Huh?" he said.
Finally, the door gave way, and Jack flew through the now busted-down door, and he instantly reconnected with the hand Brainstorm was holding. Calvin and Hobbes were standing in the doorway, with Hobbes holding Jack's suitcase.
Dr Brainstorm stared them.
"JACK!" he cried. "YOU DECIDED TO COME BACK?!"
"No," said Jack. "I planned on staying with them, but when I told them, they finally cracked, shoved me in their box and took me here."
Calvin and Hobbes stared at the lab.
"Wow," said Calvin.
"Yeah, it's barely been forty-eight hours," Hobbes added.
"I DON'T KNOW WHICH CONTAINER WILL PUT IT OUT!" Brainstorm wailed.
"Why didn't you label them?" Calvin asked.
"I WAS PLANNING TO, BUT I FORGOT WHICH ONES WERE WHICH! SAVE ME!"
Jack sighed.
"Alright, I'll put the fires out, Frank," he said.
"DOCTOR BRAINSTORM…says thank you," Brainstorm replied.
Jack nodded. He walked over to the containers.
Calvin and Hobbes watched.
"How will you find it?" Calvin asked. "None of them have any distinguishing marks!"
"Not so," said Jack.
Jack scanned the containers that were near the fire.
They all waited patiently.
Finally, Jack seemed to locate a certain container, and then he opened it and poured it on the invention that had started the fire.
Slowly but surely, it spread all around the lab, and soon the fires were dieing down.
Calvin, Hobbes and Dr Brainstorm stared in surprise.
"Huh?" Calvin asked, surprised.
"How did you know?!" Hobbes asked.
"It's the same thing as the dominos," Jack explained. "By memorizing each fingerprint pattern on each container, I'm able to distinguish them all, from nitroglycerine to simple water."
"Is that what that was?" asked Calvin.
Jack nodded.
Brainstorm sighed.
"Well, thank you, Jack. I guess we'll have to fix this mess," he said.
"Yup."
"That could take a while," said Calvin, examining the damage the place had been given.
"Eh, all things take the course," said Jack.
Jack pressed a button on the nearby control panel.
BEEP!
Suddenly, the lab started to vibrate. The burnt spots disappeared. The TV redrew its glass. All the lose wires snaked back into place. The light bulbs grew back. The rugs were stitched. The melted buttons on the control panel smoothed out.
In about thirty seconds, the lab had grown back to normal.
"How did…?" Hobbes asked.
"Nanotechnology," said Jack. "It's one of the few things that Frank here has figured out correctly."
"DR BRAINSTORM!"
"Tiny little robots that can rearrange the molecular structure of one object and make it into something else. We use it as an auto-repair system."
"Wow," said Calvin, looking around the lab.
There was a pause.
Finally, Hobbes stretched.
"Well, guess we oughta be going now," he said.
"Yeah, see ya around, Jack," Calvin said. "See ya later, Frank."
Brainstorm went to yell, but he simply groaned in response.
"Whatever," he said, collapsing into the comfy chair.
Calvin and Hobbes waved and ran out of the lab.
There was a pause.
Jack glanced at Brainstorm.
"So…," he said.
"Yeah."
"Yesterday?"
"No biggie."
"TV?"
"Soda?"
"Solid."
"Cool."
They both sat down on the comfy chairs and pulled out two cans of soda. Jack pulled out the remote and turned the giant TV on. The screen was all staticy.
"Uh-oh," said Jack. "The geyser's going off again. Hold on." He pulled out a phone and hit speed-dial.
Up above, a tour guide was showing the grounds above the lab, and showing the crowd Old Faithful.
Suddenly, the boulder flipped over.
Everyone stared at it in shock.
Just then, Calvin emerged from it with a stuffed tiger draped over his shoulder, and then the boulder dropped.
"Hi," he said to the staring crowd.
Just then, there was a noise from his pocket.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
Quickly, Calvin reached into his pocket and pulled out the MTM. He opened the top where the CD would go.
"Talk to me," he said.
There was a pause.
Everyone continued to stare at him.
"Hold on," he said.
Calvin walked past the gaping crowd and over to Old Faithful. He promptly kicked it, and the water stopped shooting up.
"How's that?" he said into the MTM.
There was a pause.
"No problem. See ya."
Calvin flipped the CD player shut and shoved it back into his pocket. He nodded to the crowd and walked away.
There was a long pause.
The guide stared.
A woman with a clipboard walked up.
"Excuse me," she said, writing on it. "What time is it?"
The guide slammed his eyes shut.
The End
Voice Work:
Pamela Segall Adlon Calvin
Tom Hanks Hobbes / Man in Crowd
Neil Crone Dr Brainstorm / Yellowstone Guide
Michael Brandon Jack
Jennifer Love Hewitt Mom / Woman with Clipboard
Coming up Next: Thunderstorm