"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected." - Nicholas Sparks, "The Notebook"
Overdue
I wanted ever so badly to slide down the white railing on the stairs like Mary Poppins. I was just so happy. I didn't, though, knowing that I would fail at it, my bad results including broken bones and possibly anger and worry from my parents. So, instead of merrily making my way down below by railing, I decided to exnay on holding the railing. Ah, freedom. As expected, I didn't trip until I reached the bottom step. A little yelp flowed out of my petit mouth as I landed on my front to the floor. My father rushed into the room, a panicky expression on his face. Emmett was next to him, wearing a totally different face. I laughed at the difference of their reactions. Father picked me up from the ground as I cackled with laughter, way too content for my own good.
"You okay, Cee?" asked Emmett, laughing himself.
"No blood, no harm," I answered through my many, nearly hysteric giggles. What was wrong with me? It wasn't that funny...
"Be careful, darling," my father scolded lightly. He propped me up like a ragdoll to the soles of my feet, his topaz eyes full of nothing but pure worry. "Are you certain that you are alright?" he asked, his marble hands on my shoulders, keeping me upright.
"Yep," I responded, my giggles fading away as I earned back control.
"Why so giddy today, sunshine?" teased Emmett as my father let go of me, his arms still out in case I fell.
I shrugged my shoulders up and down.
"No reason in particular," I lied, cracking a faint smile.
----
"Isn't Cecilia a charmer?" I murmured, smiling jokingly.
Edward and I just came home from a hunting trip, our eyes now a scoorching butterscotch color opposed to coal dark. We walked hand in hand to the living room, finding our daughter fast asleep on the white couch. Her legs and arms were sprawled out, her mouth hanging open as soft breathing sounds escaped from her. Cecilia would tend to fall asleep in front of the television on lonely weekend nights.
"She certainly is, even if she's not in her best state," chuckled Edward.
He let go of me for a moment, walking to our unconious daughter. Carefully, Edward swept Cecilia up into his cold arms, cradling her like a new born infant. She didn't stir in his grasps.
"Let's put her to bed," Edward suggested in a quiet voice.
Edward carried Cecilia as I tagged along behind, listening to our daughter's slow breathing and gentle heartbeat. I pulled out her sheets and comforter when we entered her bedroom. Pastel light from the full moon in the high sky gleamed down in the bedroom, washing it's luminous rays onto the pristine carpet covered floor. Edward laid Cecilia down on the bed with care, I tucking her in next. After I wrapped the bedding around her comfortably, I bent down to kiss her warm blooded cheek. A wonderful scent of fresh white roses filled my nostrils, though it did not give me the urge and ache of temptation to drain out her supply of crimson colored blood. I pulled away from Cecilia, thankful for my gift of resisting. Edward pecked Cecilia's forehead as I brushed a few strands of her brunette hair from her face.
"Sweet dreams, my darling," Edward whispered, velvety.
As soon as he finished that sentence, a unique snort came out of our daughter. She then restlessly rolled onto her side, her locks hiding her pale face. She looked like a puppet with no strings attached. I stifled a laugh, covering my mouth. Edward smiled my favorite crooked smile.
"I suppose that she is having pleasant dreams," he said to me in a soft voice.
I was going to miss this. Just about a month of small moments like this left.
Edward and I still hadn't mentioned this to Cecilia yet. We'd get around to it evenually. Or...not. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't accept this. It was just so...so early. I slowly began to understand each day how Edward felt about turning me into a vampire back so many years ago. Cecilia was just so young, not even sixteen yet. I didn't want her life to end at this stage of life. It seemed like yesterday that I held her in my arms once she was born, one of my few memories from back when I was human.
----
An anxious, almost scared feeling coated my entire being as I walked out of Carlisle's large office, one of his favorite books clasped in my slightly trembling clutches. This really wouldn't be that hard. I just had to confess this to my parents, get it over with. This had been on my mind for a very long time. Now was the time to let it out, since my birthday was coming up soon. A month and a half away...
"Momma?" I whispered, my voice showing off that I was frightened. "Father?"
I knew that they could hear me.
"What is it, Cecilia?" questioned Mother, sounding curious.
She floated to my side from up the staircase, her lovely locks of brunette hair flowing slightly as she slowed down from running. Father beat her to me. I could feel his stone like presence by my side.
"Yes, my love?" Father asked, velvetly.
"I...I've been thinking lately," I began, quietly. I gulped a little before I continued to speak."About growing up, I mean."
I swore that my mom stiffened.
"Come, let's go sit down," suggested Father, showing off no signs of worry.
He reached for my mom's hand, which she gladly took. Her lovely face looked a little horrified. A sinking sensation I felt went down my stomach.
"I'm not really sure if I want to become a...a...vampire, like you guys," I confessed on the spot, spitting it out my lament before we left to sit.
I had been debating whether or not I truly wanted to be a vampire. The thought of staying fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, or eighteen or whatever forever was suddenly a very scary thought to think of lately. All my life, I couldn't wait until I could become a beautiful vampire. I couldn't wait until I would truly become a member of the Cullen coven. The Cullen family. But now, I wasn't sure if I really wanted that. I wanted to have a family of my own, a house of my own, children of my own. Jacob's children. I dreamed wonderful dreams that involved my werewolf and I that looked to be from the future. Imprinting caused all of this. If Jacob never had seen me, I wouldn't be worrying and dreading becoming a vampire.
----
"I've got to meet this mystery guy, Audrey," said Jade as she pulled into Dan's smooth driveway. She didn't need to get out to knock on the front door of the house, because Dan wrentched the door open and walked out with an enthusiastic face as soon as Jade's car parked on the pavement. "You, too, Cecilia. I mean, yeah, I have met this Jacob, but not properly."
Jade was giving Audrey and I a ride to La Push. Audrey was going to go visit with Seth to my delight, not knowing that she would have a boyfriend by the end of the day. That would just leave Harper single in our teenage clan.
Dan opened the door in the front seat of the car to sit beside his girlfriend of nearly three years. Before he buckled his seatbelt, Dan kissed Jade sweetly. She blushed, not being the biggest fan of PDA. They were going to be doing some "studying" together at a popular caffé in town for the afternoon. It had been around since Ryan took me there, and it was always packed with people of all sorts. It was pretty much the only sit down restuarant, besides the old, way too tacky Lodge place, that was in Forks. I didn't see how Jade and Dan were going to be able to get any work done there. Maybe that was the point. They wouldn't be doing work of any sort. I thought that it was probably just a guise for Mrs. Burnell, Dan's way-too-worried-about-studies mother. She would fall for that. Little did she know that her eldest son and his girlfriend had legit senioridous.
Nowadays, I couldn't bear to be away from Jacob. There was a feeling, a very strange feeling, whenever I wasn't by him. Jake was all that I could ever think about from the break of dawn when I woke, to the dark of the bitter nightfall when I was preparing for sleep. Even when I napped in the evening he did not escape from me; I dreamed of him as well. It was almost like Jacob was a drug to me, one that I could not avoid whatsoever. It was as if I had no choice or say in this situation. I knew that I could never stop my new, unexplainable addiction. I suppose that's what imprinting did to you. Was Jake suffering more than I was? I thought so definitely. Every time that I went to see him, my werewolf would look grim and weak at first. But as soon as his native eyes locked with mine, he glowed with healthy, happy expressions as he embraced me in his bone crushing grips.
When I arrived at the little red house, I found Jacob standing up against his Volkswagen in a sauve manner. As always, he looked frail and ill in the face. As soon as he heard my eager footsteps walking towards him, Jake turned to look at me. At once, he turned bright, a glowing smile painted on his native face. He walked quickly over to meet me. We looked at each other for a few moments, grinning sheepishly. Jacob then bent down on one knee. His warm hand ruffled my hair, smiling even more than before. We did not speak for a little while, we simply just stared at each other. It was a silent greeting. After he was satisfied with the enjoyment of messing up my hair, Jake touched my cheek. He soon pressed his lips softly to mine.
"Yo, yo, yoggity, yo," I whispered once he pulled away from our simple kiss.
Jacob chuckled a little at my way of greeting.
"Hey," he whispered back, kissing me again for show.
"What do you want to do today?" I asked curiously, touching a lock of his long, dark hair.
Jake smiled brightly, showing off his sparkling teeth.
"I already made some arrangements," Jacob explained, casually.
I cocked an eyebrow at my wolf, letting go of the strand.
"Arrangements?" I repeated, curious. "What kind of arrangements?"
"You'll see."
"There they are!"
I turned from Jacob to see who was there. It was Claire, pulling along her wolf soulmate, Quil, by the hand loosely. A wide smile spread across her beautiful, native face. I was slightly surprised to find Quil grinning, too. Didn't the cult not approve of me?
"I told you that they didn't leave yet, Quil," Claire said, halting in front of Jake and I.
Quil rolled his eyes, still smiling.
"Yeah. I should believe you more often, Claire. You're always right," said Quil, putting his arm around her shoulders. I noticed that Claire was blushing pink in the cheeks after her wolf complimented her.
"Hey, Uncle Jay," greeted Claire, waving a hand at Jake.
Jacob snorted, amused by Claire. She was probably using an old nickname she had for him.
"What's up, kid?"
"Hi, Cecilia," said Claire, a broader grin painting across her lips. "I'm glad you know what's going on now."
I smiled.
"Same here."
----
"Really?"
Jake told me after driving for a while that we were going to go visit Seattle. I sat with my feet perched up on the dashboard, our hands interwined between the two of us. A light, mist-like rain fell with no sun peeking out from the dusty-gray like sky. I was wondering in my mind what we were going to do together in Seattle.
"Yep," said Jacob, popping the P.
"What are we going to do there?"
"Stuff," Jake replied simply.
"What sort of stuff?"
"Some stuff," Jake teased, grinning at me for a brief moment. "You're gonna love it. I know you will."
----
I sat blankly in the Volkswagen as Jacob started the rusty engine. I wasn't sure how I was feeling at the moment. Sad? Happy? Melancholy? Joyful? A mixture of both, perhaps. Jake started driving as a fresh batch of new rain began to pour, grabbing for my slightly cool hand. I was fine for a while, I wasn't expecting any waterworks to errupt. But, they soon came out of the blue. I was suddenly overcome with too much blends of emotions, they were fighting me hard. I was defeated in no time at all. Without a thought, I was loud and feeling flushed in the face. I let go of Jacob's warm hand, placing it on my ivory, white face as I bent down to the floorboard. Jacob said my name with full alarm and horror in his husky tone. I felt the car pull off to the side of the black road, and it soon shut down completely. Jake unbuckled my seatbelt and picked me up from the seat. I was then on top of his lap, feeling his hand cupping my cheek with comfort, not forcing me to look up at him. Embarrassment washed through me as I cried into his front. Jake kissed the crown of my brown hair a few times as he murmured my name softly. As I sobbed with some hysteria on my wolf, memories flooded in my head about what occured earlier that afternoon...
"We're visiting somebody?" I asked, already knowing the answer.
Jake took me to a cheap looking apartment building in the midst of down town Seattle. We walked into an old, unoccupied elevator that played cliché, boring music. Before we arrived at the apartment, Jake and I did other things. We window shopped, ate an early lunch, and, much to my entertainment and joy, got Jacob a haircut. I loved it, his hair was now short and styled to perfection. I told him that I'd help him keep that salon look back at Forks. He admitted that he liked his new hair as well, mainly because I loved it.
Jacob pressed the floor level five button, causing the button to light up.
"Yep," said Jake as the elevator started going upwards.
We held hands as we came out of the ride, Jacob mumbling to himself the right apartment number aloud. Number five thirty-eight. A sudden anxious feeling ran through me, and I didn't know why. Who was this person we were going to see? Or would it be more than one person? People? I didn't have that much time to really think about it, for Jake and I sooned approached a white front door with the number five thirty-eight flagged in bronze lettering just above the peep hole. Jacob turned to me, an excited grin on his russet skinned face.
"Ready for this?" he asked me, his voice showing off happiness.
Was I? At that moment in time, I had a small feeling that I wasn't. This was silly, stupid even. Why was I out of the blue so nervous about meeting this mystery person? Crazy. Insane. What was my deal? It was just a person or persons, they wouldn't bite. My stomach began to lurch up, making me feel a little sick. Oh, well. No turning back now. Not a chance.
I think I actually gulped a bit.
"Bring it," I challenged, my tone seeming unreconizable.
With that, after I answered, Jacob knocked onto the door with his other hand that wasn't grasping mine. It only took a few seconds for the mysterious person to get the door...
A man who looked to be in his late upper fifties opened the number thirty-eight door. He smiled at Jacob as soon as he saw him, suddenly looking about thirty years younger, despite his thinning, brown hair with some strands of light gray. I held my breath suddenly. I felt myself go inert and petrified. Was this really happening? Was this--no, it couldn't be...was it?
"I've been wondering when you'd come back to see me, Jake," joked the man.
Jacob shrugged, still grinning.
"I brought someone I'd like you to meet," explained Jacob.
The man then turned his gaze to me, the smile on his face disappearing slowly. My own expression I knew was blank, probably matching his nicely. The man's eyes zeroed in on me, his face turning pale white like a ghost...
So, I was right. I knew exactly who this man was.
But, did he know who I was?
Did he possibly have me confused with...with my mother? We looked alike in so many ways...
But he was informed that she was dead. A horrible plane crash accident had killed her life...
"Who is...this?" asked the man, slowly and quietly.
"Cecilia Masen," I said at once, changing my last name to my father's real one. I couldn't use Cullen, it wasn't safe.
The man seemed sorrowful then. Of course...the name Cecilia brought back memories from the past...
"I'm sorry," the man said after I spoke, suddenly cracking a small, sad grin. "You just look like...well...I had a daughter who looked just like you."