It looked like it was the end of the road for her.
This was it.
The last tango in Planeptune.
The last showdown in Lowee.
The last episode of her three part special... even though it was technically only the second part of a three part special.
But for her, it was the last episode.
For her?
This was the finale.
"Sorry, but I'm not going to let you go. You've done a lot of bad things, and now that I finally have you here, I'm not about to let you go back to doing them again." Her captor looked at her with a passive expression, apparently neither guilty nor particularly excited about her catch. It was like catching her had been just part of the job or something like that. She would have been annoyed at how little value her freedom seemed have with the person if not for the fact that, well...
Linda... had been caught.
"Come on... I'll never do it again? You know you can trust me." Linda tried offering the most apologetic look she could to the busty broad that had finally managed to take her down, but the so called "shinobi" paid her no mind.
"Sorry, no means no." Okay, there might have been a little sympathy that time, but not enough to make any headway here. Not as cold as Linda first thought, but then again, with knockers like those, it would be weird for her to be a cold type of character anyway. "Just you sit tight, okay? I promise the hard part is over now."
The small time villain watched as the girl before her turned away from her, maybe contacting authorities or doing her makeup or something else. Truthfully, Linda quite honestly didn't give a damn what she was doing, but now that she wasn't looking, at least Linda could let herself show a little emotion. A little real emotion, that is.
And so she smiled.
It was funny. Seriously, it was hilarious. She wasn't actually all that torn up about this. Not even close. Fact of the matter was, this had gone just as she had planned it, not the stupid bouncing bimbo in front of her. Yeah yeah yeah, that totally sounds like an excuse, but she was legit this time. She had gone into things this time planning on getting caught from the onset of it all.
Why? Sounded pretty idiotic, right?
Well, see, she'd been thinking.
She had this all wrong.
Why bother with a life of crime or whatever you wanted to call being a minor villain in this crazy ass series when there was such an easy alternative sitting right before her very eyes? The whole story was based off the idea! She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid to not realize it! She couldn't believe no one else had thought of it before her! Was it because she was the only villain around with half a brain? Was that it? Well, whatever it was, she was going to make sure it worked before any of those bozos in the other dimension could rip off her great idea.
"So... What're you gonna do with me anyway?" Linda put on her best 'oh woe is me' voice for this next line. The next stage was key, after all. If she screwed this part of things up, then she'd be up shit's creek without so much as a paddle or even a boat to help her out. "You're not gonna k-k-kill me... Riiiiight?"
She was playing up the pathetic angle just a bit too — no, she was not normally pathetic, thank you very much — just so it seemed all the more authentic. She didn't try for any puppy dog eyes though, that kind of BS would just get her called out faster than a blue hedgehog at a hotdog convention. She wanted this to look real, dang it!
The well endowed ninja girl glanced behind her, looking at Linda with sympathetic eyes. For a moment, Linda almost felt worried. This wasn't like the usual bimbo patrol she normally dealt with — ninjas were assassiny types, right? What if... What if she was on the chopping block here...?! If that was the case, then she might've just walked into the worst possible situation ever!
Ironically, those fears allowed the expression on Linda's face to look that much more genuine, and at just the perfect time too. The redheaded shinobi was looking her way just as those thoughts crossed Linda's mind... And so while Linda was starting to worry her safety might actually be at risk...
"You've been through a lot, haven't you?" The girl's red eyes seemed to soften, her oddly shaped pupils trained on Linda for a moment before she turned around once again. "Don't you worry about a thing. I'm sure you have your reasons, but that doesn't matter anymore. It's going to be all behind us now, you'll see."
Linda's jaw fell open as she heard these words, her eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets.
Oh... Oh... Oh shiiiiiit! It was actually working! Was this seriously happening!? Seriously!? She was in business after all!
Her fool-proof plan really was going to go off without a hitch if she played this right! It was already basically there from the looks of this! No more petty crime for her, no ma'am!
"What makes you so sure? Huh?" Linda added a little edge back into her voice now. It was time for her to act like her captor's words were too good to be true — like all she knew was a life of crime or some cliche crap like that. Linda could already see from the way the girl's back straightened that she must have been imagining what kind of harships Linda regularly went through...
As if!
See, this was it. What she had realized was that all she had to do was get some dopey hero type — and in Gamindustri, she had her pick of the litter when it came to dopey heroes — to catch her in the act and decide to "reform" her instead of punishing her. It happened all the time on TV, right? After the "reforming," a Las Nepas wedding later, and she'd be living the easy life for the rest of her days while the sap of a "hero" that she snagged would bring the bread home for them from then on. Piece of cake!
It was already going perfectly for her. Sure, she'd ended up with a dopey hero that was actually somewhat unknown to her, but who cared? Considering this Special Stage was part of a series with the theme of weird ass combinations like her and... well, anyone, that just made her even more confident that this was all going to work out in her favor. She was gonna be set for life after this!
"I know you can't trust me yet, but I promise, you will." Linda could practically hear the smile in the other girl's voice. Oh man, what a total sucker! She couldn't believe her luck. She had thought it had been a disaster, losing that blue haired flatso like she had, but running into this walking pair of beach balls might have been even better than going with her first pick! Talk about a home run. "I know just what you need..."
Linda swallowed. This was the big moment. Even a crook like her could see a flag about to be triggered when it was being done as blatantly as this. The only question that remained was whether it was the flag she wanted or some other one — she was dealing with a dopey hero type, after all, and those losers did tend to be pretty unpredictable...
"Halt! Stop right there!"
And speaking of unpredictable losers, if she didn't know better, she could even hear the voice of her original pick for this plan of hers. That'd just be stupid though, right? There was no way that that washboard that made her look stacked would still be on her tail now that Lady Bounces-A-Lot had grabbed her.
In that moment, a blue haired heroine dramatically entered the scene. Her scarf billowed in the wind as she entered the clearing, taking a step towards the two girls she was intruding on. The "larger" of the two — the one that wasn't tied up on the ground — looked at the blue haired girl with a sense of familiarity, while Linda found herself starting to wonder if she had counted her blessings too soon.
Because as it turned out, life was pretty freaking stupid sometimes.
"Marvy! I never thought you would stoop as low as to conspire with someone as low as this fiend..." Linda wished she had a free hand, if only so she could slap her forehead upon hearing the speech the newcomer was starting. It was plain as day that she was hardly conspiring with the broad that had captured her, and even this lunatic had to see that much. Did she have to go through the motions like this every time?
Well... That kind of attitude was what had initially led Linda to choosing her for her plan before it had been railroaded... She'd be so damn easy to manipulate, after all!
"Hmm? I'm not conspiring with her. I captured her — she's nothing more than my prisoner right now." Linda grit her teeth upon hearing the simple, uncaring response of the boob ninja. Nothing more than her prisoner!? They were supposed to shack up, and she was supposed to be living the easy life! Had she overestimated her acting abilities...!? "What brought this on? I thought you knew me better than that, Nisa."
Wait a second... These two knew each other?
Could it be... that?
Before Linda could consider this new development further, the justice maniac thrust a finger forward to dramatically point at her fellow "hero" as though she had just committed some kind of crime. This was getting pretty funny, now that it was turning out like this...!
"That's not true! I heard you two talking earlier!"
Linda blinked at this admission of Nisa's, somewhat impressed despite her current position. If this raving lunatic had been listening in to their conversation prior to her entrance... Even she could kind of see how that vigilante nutjob could get to a conclusion like that. Plus...
"So you were eavesdropping?" Despite herself, Linda couldn't help but smirk in the self-proclaimed hero's direction. After all, what kind of "hero" pulls shit like that? Hah! "Somebody's slipping."
As expected, the smaller of the two heroes turned on Linda, her cheeks tinged with a frustrated blush as she snapped at the villain. It wasn't that surprising — they had had this kind of dumb back and forth going on for a while now, hadn't they?
"Y... You... Silence! I'm going to be the one to bring you to justice!"
Inwardly, Linda burst into laughter. She's said it! She'd as good as said she wanted to "reform" Linda! Even if the first broad hadn't wanted to do it, here was someone practically begging to be her meal ticket for the rest of her life! And considering there was already someone here who seemed pretty eager to do it herself...
Then it was that!
The flag she had triggered... It was way better than some stupid hero wins the villain over route.
These morons were going to fight over her!
She was about to be in the middle of a love triangle!
No matter which one of them lost, she won!
Linda had to admit it. She could deny it no longer.
She was a freaking genius.
"Hmmm? Do you two know each other?" So the talking tits had a brain in there. Didn't matter to Linda, though, because she was golden now. Heck, maybe she could get this one jealous? Now that would be interesting to see. "I see... That explains it. I didn't realize I'd captured someone you have a history with." What the hell was with that bounce!? She was barely moving! "Don't you worry, Nisa! We're not conspiring at all. I'd never stray from my path, just like you and yours."
The bound girl blinked as she watched the blue haired girl take in the redhead's words.
Something suddenly seemed off about this...
"D... D..." Ohhh, look! For a so called "hero of justice," she was trembling she was so angry! Linda had to do everything she could not to burst out laughing as she watched the sap she intended to take for a ride do her best to contain herself. Any second now, the lunatic was surely about to start yelling at the living flotation device about justice or some other crap like that, Linda just knew it. "Damn you, villain!"
Except she was pointing at Linda.
Marvy had the decency to jump in surprise, at least, but at this point, Linda was just starting to feel lost. Like the flag she was sure had just been waving around before her only moments ago... wasn't there anymore.
"Huh?"
"You... You made me question the integrity of a fellow hero!" Making overblown gestures of sorrow, the girl with the scarf bigger than she was clenched her fists, her teeth clenched in some kind of ridiculous, righteous fury, like she could barely contain her anger at herself and the "evil" person before her. "Even if she's... a little... like that, I know, in my heart of hearts, that Marvy would never betray the spirit of goodness inside of her! But to think, because I misunderstood... I almost made a terrible mistake! I'm unforgivable!"
Naturally, the little "like that" Nisa was referring to — and doing her best to avoid looking at — was about as far from "little" as it could be. What's more, Linda still didn't have a single damn clue as to where things were headed now that they were going like this. Why weren't they talking about how badly they wanted to reform her like they were supposed to?
"Huh?"
"Ni~sa! Don't say that." Bounding right on over to the whining washboard, the pair of of watermelons on legs grasped the other girl's hands and smiled . "It's just like you said, you misunderstood. I'm not bothered. I'm glad I have a friend who cares enough about my morals to get upset on their behalf like this."
"Huh?"
"I-It's not like that-! And keep those things away from me! You're just rubbing it in..." Some might say Marvy was doing a lot more than rubbing it in given the sudden proximity the two heroes now shared, but oddly enough, Nisa didn't seem as perturbed by her comrade's "DLC" as her words might imply — after all, large, extra large, or so large she broke the scale, Marvy was still a fellow heroine of justice! I-If her chest had to be so offensively large, then it must have been that way to keep in her heroic spirit...!
Seeing this all taking place before her, slowly realizing her decreasing relevance to the narration, Linda looked from one of the girls she had hoped to turn her into a (rich, never-have-to-work-again) woman and then to the other.
"Huh...?"
"Rubbing what in? That I caught that girl before you had the chance to...?" Either oblivious to Nisa's true issues with her or swiftly dodging them, Marvy simply smiled brightly at her fellow do-gooder and gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder. "That's not important, is it? She's caught now."
The smaller girl before her seemed to consider this.
"Y-Yeah... Yeah! You're absolutely right!" After she was done with her consideration, the vigilante thrust a fist in the air, seemingly completely rejuvenated despite how close she was to those offending parts of Marvelous. Perhaps when they were a fellow hero's, it didn't bother her... as much? "All that matters is that justice is done! It doesn't matter whether it's you or me, so long as the swift hammer of goodness is brought down upon evil! Ha ha ha!"
If she hadn't been so dumbfounded at the moment, Linda probably would have thrown up in her mouth a little hearing that corny line come out of Nisa's mouth. Not that it mattered — it was starting to sound like she wasn't even being considered as a person as far as these two numbskulls were concerned.
"That's right!" As if the disgust that was just radiating off of her prisoner didn't even register to her, Marvy simply continued to look at her fellow freedom fighter with a fond look, a considerate expression crossing her features. "Oh, I know...! Why don't we take her in together and get something to eat afterwards? I'd love to catch up with you. Were you really visiting a school for demons?"
"... Huh...?"
"I was! Neptune told you, right? But I bet she didn't tell you that I met the Prism Rangers in person!" Now looking completely restored to her normal, jubilant, heroic self, Nisa offered Marvy a victory pose of sorts before she continued. "He was a zombie when I met him, but I even got the very first Red's autograph! I'll show it to you at the restaurant — and as a heroine, and since you aren't Gust, I insist on treating, especially after how I messed up things for you earlier."
Totally unperturbed by Nisa casually dropping the fact that she had not only met a zombie, but gotten the autograph of said zombie into their conversation (just what the hell did this ninja girl deal with on a regular basis to be okay with that kind of thing!?), the Marvelous formerly-and-maybe-even-currently-known-as AQL cheerfully accepted Nisa's offer, simply glad to have the misunderstanding out of the way and to be back in the other girl's good graces again.
"Then it's settled!"
"You bet it is! Now let's deal with this, then we'll be off!"
"Let's!"
As the two turned on her, looking at her less and less like a person should look at the object of their affections, Linda could only stare back at them as the horrible truth of this whole affair began to sink in.
"... H... Huh...?"
Wait just one freaking minute here... Were they telling her... Were they seriously trying to tell her that the combination of characters that made up this Special Stage's unique pairing... The pairing that was to be the premise of this entry in the "Unique Pairing" Zone of Special Stages... The pairing that this entire premise — the pairing that the premise of her letting herself get captured had been leading up to...
... didn't even involve her!?
"What gives!?"