Author's Note: okay, the important thing to note in this story is that, at first, Holt is an entirely separate person from Jackson and he's a human. This whole thing pretty much takes place in Jackson's part of their shared mind, and it's not going to be at all a "normal" story. Big surprise there, I know. But, enjoy.

"I Need You More Than Ever"

rated K or T for psychobabble nonsense; 6 pages long; mental issues, family relationship; written from June 28th, 2013 – May 1st, 2014

Featuring the song "Take Me" by Hawk Nelson

Jackson's locked himself away inside his mind for the past several months, and now Holt is going in to pull him out.

Can you hear me? Does anyone around me… feel the way that I feel now?
'Cause from the window where I sometimes cry I just wanna see your face tonight
And I'm willing to lose everything I am.

Jackson sighed as he sat down in his seat in the school library. He was supposed to be working on a project with his classmate, Holt Hyde, but so far his partner was missing in action.

With Holt, it was hardly surprising. He was the new boy in school, and so far all Jackson knew about him was that he was a very wild young man who may or may not be insane.

The boy shifted in his seat, trying to gain some comfort in the hard chair. It wasn't that the chair was especially uncomfortable, it was just… something seemed wrong, or maybe not quite right, and he just couldn't bring himself to relax.

Nothing was right; the way his parents treated him, his home, his fellow classmates… nothing was right. At least, it sure felt that way…

"HIYA, JJ!"

He jumped when he heard his name being called, and the outburst was followed by several shushes from the librarian and the other patrons, who were flitting around behind him like shadows.

The outburst had come from the wide-open mouth of none other than Holt Hyde himself, who blatantly ignored the glares that he was being given as he approached his partner.

"So, what are we workin' on, nerd?" Holt may have used the word 'nerd' as if to pick on Jackson, but his voice made it sound more like… somewhere between affectionate and matter-of-fact. As if it were a familiar nickname.

Jackson didn't answer immediately, but rather stared up at the other boy with mixed feelings of annoyance. This is when the idea occurred to him that Holt didn't look good as a blonde; somehow, he thought that Holt might look better with blue skin and red hair… as little sense as that made.

"We're supposed to be researching famous mad scientists, Holt. Ah…" He thought for a moment. Holt wasn't likely to remain quiet for any amount of time, and he really didn't want to be kicked out of the library, so he came up with a Plan B. "I actually have all the books we're going to be needing, so… I could just check them out, and we could go work on it somewhere else."

Holt smiled broadly. "Your place?"

Feeling his eyes widen, Jackson immediately shook his head violently. He didn't want to go home, not if he could help it. He didn't want to have to face that quirky nightmare that was supposed to be where he lived again.

Holt switched tactics with a small shrug. "My place then."

"That sounds… fine."

Surely Holt must have wondered about the strange look that had crossed the nerd's face, but he didn't seem to notice. He happily carried the heavy looking stack of books that the other boy had selected as they headed out the door.

"C'mon, it's only a few blocks to my house," Holt called over his shoulder, listening to the patter of footsteps as the geek tried to keep up with his fast pace.

To Jackson though, it seemed like a very long distance to get to Holt's home. But, when he complained about how far away it seemed, Holt only gave a mysterious look.

"It's only as far away as you want it to be, JJ," the other boy had whispered, his voice strange.

Jackson followed behind the faster boy, trying to ignore the feelings of familiarity that shouldn't have existed. He wasn't sure what he expected when they reached the Hyde residence, but he was surprised to find that it was a normal, quaint little apartment. It looked like the kind of place where he would live.

In fact, it felt like he'd been here before.

He started to offer to open the door, but Holt just kicked it open anyway.

Holt saw the alarmed look on the other's face. "What? That's how I open it! Didn't you know that, Jackie?"

Chuckling, Holt went into the apartment, going straight into his bedroom down the hall and dumping the stack of books off on his bed. He then turned around and walked straight back to the front door, where he found Jackson carefully closing the door behind him.

"The books and stuff are in my room," he told the weaker boy, gesturing with his thumb in the general direction of his sleeping quarters. "I'm gonna go get a snack. You want anything?"

"Uh, no thank you," Jackson mumbled politely. He headed down the hall towards the room that Holt had indicated while the monster headed towards the kitchen.

The room was decorated in skulls and flames, and everything was a bright blood red. It made Jackson's skin crawl at first, but he soon became comfortable with it.

Holt soon came in with a plate full of nachos, which he set on the bedside table as he began rifling through a stack of CD's that were on the floor.

Popping in an album of 'Toxic Crimson Dancer' into his CD player, he pressed play and began to dance around as the loud music filled the air.

Jackson had started to straighten up the books that had been unceremoniously dropped onto the bed, but he was grabbed by Holt, who started dancing around the room with him.

"We're supposed to be doing our homework, Hyde!" He shrieked. "What do you want from me, anyway?!"

Holt grinned at him good-naturedly, tapping the other boy on the nose. "I want you, smarty-pants!"

"Oh, don't tell me that you want to be my friend or any of that garbage!" Jackson actually responded by shaking his head in disbelief. "No one wants me for anything at all. Even my own parents don't really want me."

"Don't you understand, Jackson?" the other boy asked, his voice growing quiet; maybe it was Jackson's imagination, but it seemed like the music become quiet too. "Those aren't your parents."

Silence.

The slow blinking of confused, owlish eyes.

"What are you talking about?"

Holt looked sad as he gazed at the nerd. Tightening his grip on his 'dance partner,' he pulled the other boy into a strong hug. "Jackie, won't you wake up?"

Jackson froze, not having the slightest idea what the other was going on about. All he knew at that moment was that his body wanted to run away from Holt, but his heart didn't want to.

This was the first moment he could remember that felt at all right.

"Jackson, listen to me," the Hyde pleaded, sitting down on the bed and pulling Jackson down with him. "This world, this school you attend, that house you live in, those… those people that you call your parents… None of this is real! Not one bit of it!"

Jackson stood up to run away then, his feet moving on their own, but the stronger Hyde grabbed him and dragged him back, even pinning him to bed and holding him tightly, just to prevent him from running away.

"You're a Jekyll, and I'm a Hyde," the blonde said softly, his golden-brown eyes never wavering. "Don't that mean anything to you? I was born as a part of you. Closer than brothers, closer than any married couple. You and I are one and the same… at least, we are in the real world."

"… What… What are you… I don't understand!"

Holt sighed sadly. "We are not two people Jackson, we are one person. One person with a severe case of Schizophrenia. You are one side of us, and I'm the other. We were just born that way.

"But… we're like brothers, in our own way. And like brothers, we started arguing. People thought it was a bad sign when we were arguing with each other, with ourselves, so they made us go see a psychiatrist."

Holt paused here, gently running his fingers though Jackson's bangs, soothing him. Jackson could feel his heart begin to pound a minute ago, but it was slowing down again under Holt's influence.

"The psychiatrist told us to create a 'happy place' to live in if we got too mad at each other," Holt continued. "He said we should just ignore each other when that happened and 'go to our happy place.' So you made yourself a 'happy place' to hide in, one where I didn't exist. One where you didn't have any of your usual worries. But… then you didn't come out of it.

"Tell me, Jackson… Is this world you live in perfect? Is it everything you've ever wanted?"

Jackson stared up at the blonde dumbly, so very confused. "I… Well, my parents are both very happy with everything I do, and I go to a good school, and I've never been bullied by anyone or gotten into trouble…"

"It's a good life, isn't it, JJ?" the Hyde whispered. "But it isn't right, is it?"

Jackson shook his head, unable to answer in any other way.

Silence for a minute.

Then…

"Look at me."

Jackson did as he was told, gazing up at Holt's face above him.

Sighing, Holt shook his head. "The real me, dork!"

"… I don't understand what you…" Jackson trailed off as the blonde's appearance began to alter before his very eyes. Holt's skin changed color, turning into an electric blue tone; his blonde hair became a fiery red, and his golden-brown eyes turned into bright yellow. A mark appeared on the side of his face, draping over his eye.

Nodding with approval, Holt sat up, allowing Jackson to sit up in front of him.

"I want you back, Jackson," he whispered, his eyes becoming suspiciously shiny. "You're my other half, and… I need you."

Jackson sat still, staring at the monster boy that now sat before him. Memories began to poke and prod at the walls of his mind, but they couldn't get through. He actually began to cry, his youthful mind not knowing of any other way to express his angst and frustration. "I still don't understand!"

Holt gave him a small, gentle smile, his yellow eyes brimming with both tears and love as he reached forward, catching the human in his arms and holding him tightly. "I know. And… it'll be alright."

Sniffling slightly, Jackson pressed his face into Holt's shoulder and neck, mostly right into the crook where both body parts met. Holt's embrace was warm and comfortable, and so very familiar.

"I'm getting your clothes all wet," Jackson whispered apologetically. He made no move to leave the monster's arms, though.

Holt shrugged, pulling the other in closer. "Jackie? Would you let me enter your mind? I could maybe help jog your memories or something."

"I… I don't…"

"Sssh…. Trust me, Jackson. Just trust me."

The Jekyll nodded uncertainly before becoming aware of something that felt like fingers diving into his mind, searching around and rearranging things; it almost felt as though objects were being removed from a shelf, other objects were set upon the shelf, some moved to a different place, and still others were caringly and lovingly cleaned.

It was a strange feeling, although not altogether unpleasant.

Jackson cried out in shock when new memories began to surface. Memories of things that he didn't want to remember. Bullies sprang to mind, as did terrible arguments with his 'other half,' loss of friends, moving to different towns, changing schools…

"… stop…" he whispered weakly. "… please stop…"

Frowning, Holt pulled back a bit. "We need to do this, Jackie. I know it don't feel too great or nothin,' but if you don't let me do this… well…"

He looked as if he might start crying again. "… I might lose you forever."

Jackson automatically reached out with his mind, searching for Holt's consciousness and offering him comfort.

When he touched Holt's mind, all Jackson could feel was darkness. Everything was dark and shadowed, as if there was no light or goodness in the other's heart at all.

"That's 'cause you took it all with you, Jackie," Holt whispered. "Remember? I'm the Hyde and you're the Jekyll. You're the good side and I'm the bad side. That's how we work. It just… is. It don't make sense, but that's the way we were born."

Jackson pulled out of Holt's mind, feeling as though he were intruding. He offered a wry smile. "It's like we're conjoined twins or something."

Holt looked up at him, his yellow eyes filled with some wonder. Then, he smiled, too. "You're starting to catch on, J."

"You ready to try again, Jackson?" Holt asked quietly, raising his hands and placing them lovingly on either side of Jackson's temples.

The normie nodded, realized that he had just called himself a 'normie,' and then closed his eyes. "Let's just get this over with."

"Like pulling off a band-aid, huh?"

"Yup. Now, pull."

Holt nodded and dove in again, forcing memories to the surface of Jackson's mind.

Jackson reeled under the sudden influence of thoughts and memories that he had blocked out. Most were bad, but, as he soon realized, some of them were very good.

Moments shared with the few friends that he'd managed to make at Monster High, and the knowledge that they were worried about him even now, and moments shared with Holt. His literal other half.

Those were the moments to live for.

And he wasn't alone. He really wasn't. He had his own parents back in the real world, who were worried sick about him; he had friends like Frankie, Deuce, Clawd, and Heath, who all wanted to know that he was alright and were they to blame for his sudden estrangement?

But, most of all, he had Holt, who was ready, able, and willing to spend every single second of the rest of his life with him. Their relationship was special, and he shouldn't have just thrown it away, no matter how difficult it was.

"Please, come back to me, Jackie," Holt whispered. His face was carefully neutral, but there was enough pain in his voice to convey his deep feelings.

Jackson looked Holt in the eye, fully comprehending just how deep their relationship ran and how much of an integral part of one another they both were.

Jackson relaxed, shedding off the imitation world that he'd conjured up in his mind, trading it in for the real world. He found himself sitting on his real bed, in his real home, with Holt sitting beside him.

He assumed that Holt must have been in control of their body at that moment, since he felt distinctly light-headed, as if he were a boat that was floating aimlessly in the water, having no anchor to hold it down.

Holt smiled at him. "Welcome home, Jackie boy. Welcome back to the real world."

Jackson looked around their room, taking everything in and welcoming the sight. After locking himself into his own mind for so long, even their messy room was a sight for sore eyes.

He turned back to Holt. "This isn't going to be easy. Not for me, anyway."

He sighed and leaned against his other half, seeking support and comfort. "There's going to be a lot of things that I'll have to relearn. I need some time to readjust."

"Just remember, JJ," Holt murmured softly, bringing his hands up to rest on the normie's shoulders. "No matter what happens, you'll still have me."

Jackson's answer was more breath than words. "I know."

He fell asleep in Holt's arms, feeling safe and comfortable for the first time in a while.

Now, he knew, things were truly right.

When you're near me, I feel like I just found me in the traces of the boy from yesterday…
In a world that is so black and white I will take the steps to change my life
And I won't be comin' back to here again.

And I need your loving hand to guide me through the maze of all the things inside me
Then I'll know that I'm alright.

The End.