Elena's fingers made contact with the winding staircase bannister. She'd been preparing for this moment since she was old enough to attend the Miss Mystic Falls pageant as a Junior Miss. Back then, her mother tucked baby's breath into her carefully curled ringlets while telling her daughter about all the past pageants. The time one of the girls tripped and fell the whole way down the stairs. The time a girl forgot the dance and ended up freezing on the dance floor. The time her mother had won.

Winning the Miss Mystic Falls pageant was a family tradition. Her mother won. Her grandmother had won. And Elena was expected to win because that's just what her mother's family did.

Growing up, she fully expected to follow in their high heeled-footsteps. She'd enter, impress the judges, and wait for the crown atop her head.

But now, standing at the top of the stairs, she had her doubts. Serious doubts. When she'd met with the judges, her best reason for being named Miss Mystic Falls was just her family legacy. The past year of dealing with her parents' deaths coupled with dating a vampire…and just trying to stay alive in Mystic Falls had left her a little – distracted.

Now it was time to focus. She was a Gilbert. She was her mother's daughter. She'd trained for this very second for as long as she could remember, maybe longer.

"Elena Gilbert," Carol Lockwood's voice carried up through the faint murmur of the crowd.

Elena's stomach did an uncomfortable flip flop. She knew her hair wasn't right. It wasn't how her mother would have done it. And Stefan was a little unstable at the moment. What if he forgot the dance?

It was now or never. She took a breath, tried to summon the poise she so often saw in her mother, and stepped down the first stair. And the second. And the third. It wasn't until the fourth step that she sensed something wasn't right.

Glancing down to the ground, a guy she hardly new was looking up at her with an uncomfortable expression on his face. He wasn't her escort. He was part of the next pairing. She slowed, half-expecting Stefan to appear out of nowhere.

He was here. She'd seen him. They'd even argued.

Right now, he should be standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for her.

She kept walking, hoping she didn't appear as flustered as she felt. Where was Stefan?

Her pounding pulse echoing in her ears blocked out the sound of the music from the orchestra outside. The only thing she could hear was the growing murmur from the crowd. Her eyes sought out Stefan, but she only found –

Damon.

With a ghost of a smile that told him to trust her, he confidently too his brother's place at the foot of the stairs. She reached his side, and his hand wrapped around hers. His thumb skimmed the back of her hand, and she felt her pulse react immediately.

It was going to be alright. Damon was here.

And then she blinked.

And he was gone.

She was alone in the foyer. Everyone was looking at her while she searched the room for Stefan. Jenna met her eyes with an expression of shock and confusion that was only a tiny hint of what Elena was feeling. If she stood there any longer, she wasn't going to be able to hold herself together any longer.

All the founding family members were staring. The Junior Miss Mystic contestants were staring. The waiters stopped serving champagne and stood staring. Even the orchestra missed a beat.

Carol Lockwood's eyes fixed on Elena, for once, the mayor's wife seemed at a loss for words.

Elena stood alone for the span of three more panicked, embarrassed breaths, and she bolted out the front door.

Elena sat upright in bed, her pulse pounded in her ears as she fought for a breath. It had been ages since she'd thought about that disastrous day. Months since she'd replayed that horrible moment. Almost a year since the memory haunted her sleep.

Memories...

Another memory rippled over her. This one much more recent than the Miss Mystic Falls pageant. Damon was dancing with her. He was trying to get her to remember things she'd chosen to forget. He said he'd been there that day.

Stefan had left her alone.

But Damon had come to her rescue.

At least that's what he said. And for an instant in her dream, he was there.

She just couldn't remember it.

A far-too-familiar wave of panic rushed through her, and she fought to hold onto the tenuous grasp she had on her emotions. She couldn't just stay in bed. She needed to know.

Thankful that Caroline decided to sleep…who knows where, she ran to the closet and tugged out the box of memories she'd left for herself. She carried the box back to the bed and flicked on the light. She didn't know what she was looking for, since she'd already looked through each picture, read each word in her journal, ran her hand over every item of clothing in a futile attempt to trigger something.

But she kept looking…because she needed to know what was real.

And that's still where she was when Caroline walked through the door long after the sun came up…closer to lunch-time than to breakfast. From the frazzled expression on her face mixed with the smattering of pine needles and tinsel in her hair, Elena gathered that her roommate had been involved with Operation Perfect Friend-Mas rather than any other type of extracurricular activities overnight.

"Are you alright?" Elena spoke to her roommate's back as Caroline crossed the room and immediately jerked a blood bag out of the mini-fridge.

"Of course I'm alright." Caroline spun around, and her face changed from annoyed to level-10-concerned. "But do I need to be asking you the same question?"

"I'm fine."

"You aren't even dressed. How long have you been awake?"

Something in the hesitant way she asked the question set Elena's nerves on end. She was tired of people acting like she was a porcelain doll or something. "I said I'm fine."

Caroline took a long breath, finished the blood bag in one unladylike gulp, and pulled a chair up next to Elena's bed. "And that's general code for the fact that you're definitely not alright." Her eyes scanned the contents of the bed before fixing on Elena's face, obviously taking in the circles Elena knew had to be under her eyes and the fact that Elena hadn't even bothered to brush out her hair yet. "You don't really look fine."

Elena held up her hands in defeat. "I had a dream."

"Was it a nightmare?"

"No." Elena shook her head. Her fingers fidgeted with the edges of the journal in her lap of their own accord. "I just…I just don't understand."

"Understand what?"

"That night at Whitmore's pre-med thing. When I was talking to Damon. He said something."

Caroline raised an eyebrow in response but didn't say a word.

"Damon told me he was my escort at the Miss Mystic Falls pageant."

Caroline visibly relaxed. "That's because he was."

Elena's heart skipped a beat. "He was. But… No." She ran her fingers through her tangled hair. "No. I remember. I do. I know what happened that day. I went down the stairs, but Stefan had gone off the rails. I was supposed to have Stefan with me, but he didn't show up. I went down the stairs, but no one was there. I was alone."

"Damon wouldn't leave you alone."

If Elena hadn't been a vampire, she probably wouldn't have heard Caroline's response. As it was, Elena halfway questioned her hearing.

Caroline looked at her, her lips forming a tight line. "Damon was your escort, Elena. He saw that Stefan was gone, and he wouldn't let you be embarrassed like that. He met you at bottom of the stairs and then he danced with you."

"I was at the dance?"

"It'll be easier this way." Caroline stood, brushing off the last remaining springs of tinsel from her sweater. She walked to her desk and pulled a photo album out of the bottom drawer. Pages flicked by under her fingers, and Elena could see ticket stubs mixed with ribbons and newspaper clippings. She stopped on one and almost flinched.

Turning back to face Elena, she forced a smile. "See."

Elena saw. She saw herself in a picture she didn't recall posing for. The group of Miss Mystic Falls contestants with their escorts. Elena almost didn't even recognize herself. She was beaming. Her cheeks were flushed. And she was holding Damon's hand.

"He really was your escort."

"I…don't remember." Elena's thumb hooked on the bottom corner of the page.

"Obviously." Caroline carefully picked the book up out of Elena's lap, smoothing the page before Elena could bend it. "I guess it must have been one of the memories.

"The memories?" Elena deliberately echoed Caroline's inflection.

"When Alaric compelled you, it was kind of hit or miss. I think he tried several different memories."

"Why?"

"He was trying to find the one where you fell in love with Damon."

"And I thought that might have been the time. But…I was still with Stefan then."

"If it makes you feel any better, that wasn't it."

"But I thought it was."

"Yeah. You did."

"I really loved him."

"You did." Caroline came back to the chair, shifting uneasily as she sat opposite her friend. "And I know you were mad that I set you up with him the other night, but I had to give the two of you a chance."

"But you hate Damon."

"I did. Now…it's complicated." Caroline hesitated, apparently trying to decide exactly how to word what came next. "I saw the two of you together, and trust me, I never expected to be Team Damon." She swallowed, averting her eyes for the moment. "But I saw you with him." Her voice began to shake. "And I saw you without him. God, Elena, you were…you were." Real tears pooled in her eyes. "I've never seen you like that. And it was all because you'd lost him. You loved him in a way that people just dream about. When you were so bad. So bad." Caroline's eyes looked anywhere that wasn't Elena. "When you were so out of control, you asked me what to do. You asked me if you should have Alaric compel you. And I said yes. I was part of the reason you lost what you had. You loved him so much that you honestly went crazy when he was gone. So, yes, if there's a way I can help you get that back, I'll take it."

The weight of the words finally hit her. It wasn't just what someone told her. Or what Damon tried to convince her. When she'd written the message to herself, she wasn't trying to save herself from some sort of bleak future. She'd been throwing herself a lifeline. She'd been trying to save herself from a blackness that had almost won.

Elena let herself drop back against the headboard of the bed. "I don't understand." Her hand gripped on the spine of the journal in her lap. She picked it up, shaking it in Caroline's direction. "Why isn't there something here?" She flew through the pages, not even flinching when she ripped one. "Why didn't I write about Damon? If I was so in love with him, why isn't it here?"

Caroline took the book from her, gently closing it before Elena ripped it. "Because you didn't write in your journal when you were happy."

"I need to see my old ones." Elena leapt to her feet. "Do you know if any of them made it out of the fire?"

"I don't know. I can check with my mom." Caroline bit down on her lower lip. "Elena, what do you remember about the fire?"

"And she doesn't remember the fire." Caroline's eyes widened as she stared back and forth between Stefan and Alaric, desperately hoping that this wouldn't be a time Damon decided to make an unscheduled visit to Alaric's office.

"How do you know that?" Stefan leaned forward in his chair.

She was violating her own no-Stefan policy by inviting him to this impromptu meeting, but even she had to admit she was beginning to feel in over her head with the Elena situation. "Because I asked her."

Alaric toed his chair from side to side, considering her words. Stefan just sat, adding to the worry lines in his forehead. Neither really seemed ready to jump into the discussion. Part of her wondered if she should have invited Damon after all. "Well, say something."

Silence hung over the room for a few more minutes. Just when Caroline thought she was going to strangle someone, Alaric started to speak. "It makes sense."

"It does?"

Alaric shifted into lecturing-professor mode. "Yeah, it does." He ran a hand over the stubble on his chin. "Damon's the one who told her to turn it off."

"But that's because she was sired to him." Stefan looked unclear on where their conversation was going.

"She was sired to him because she loved him." Alaric turned to Caroline. "What did she remember about the fire?"

"She said my mom never found out what caused it."

"Vague." He nodded. "Again, makes sense. Her memory replaced all the good Damon memories with something else."

"That's a good memory?"

"Well, it was while she was still in love with him."

"So." Stefan spoke slowly, "what exactly does she remember?"

"No idea." Alaric appeared to have aged a decade over the last few minutes. "But I think we have to hazard a guess that she may not remember anything involving Damon correctly."

"That's…a lot of memories."

"Crossing the border didn't work."

"And it seemed like your little coffee shop idea didn't help."

Alaric circled to the front of his desk and leaned back against it. "So what are we going to do?"

Caroline smiled, nodding to herself. "We're going to give her a Christmas present tomorrow. We're going to help her remember."

Author's note: Yep this one was kind of short, I know. But the last chapter will come tomorrow, and I really didn't want it to be excessively long (and it was approaching 7,000 words). This is the best spot to "break" the two.

I hope you're enjoying the story so far.