.-carlisle has a patient who's a vampire hunter.

-Jasper is sitting on a bench, the old man next to him notices his strained face, reaches into his bag and taps Jasper on the shoulder. "Here sonny, I can tell you really need these. Maximum strength" then gets up and walks away. Alice starts laughing at the box of laxatives and Jasper's confused face.

-Alice is too short to ride the mega gut wrenching roller coaster and starts arguing with the ticket taker
"sorry kiddo, too short."
"What??"
"you heard me, why dont you go pet the llamas in the petting zoo" then pushes her to the side.

-Karoke night, Jasper just finished singing a'im not a girl, not yet a woman'parody. Simon calls and explains that his singing was soooo bad, it disturbed his
sleep. the Cullens all look at each other 'how did he know?'

-Jasper comes walking out in a cowboy suit "There's a snake in my boot"

-Edward flips off jacob after a fight in town, Emmett gets a snap shot next morning edwards face is on the front page. "Teenage Deliquence, Does it affect your child?"

-Someone sends the cullens 5 gross of roses and feels the house. Alice calls out "Jasper? Where are you". Jasper calls out "Im lost!!!"

-Jacob transforms, all the other wolves start laughing, He looks at his shaven wolf body. 'oh real mature guys'

-the Cullens play ninja

-Bella walks in and the Cullens are doing old fashion calisthenics.
"Why are you guys working out? I thought you dont need to do that stuff"
"We don't, but we're really bored." Carlisle begins to swat and the others follow, "and 1 and 2 and 1 and 2"

-Cullen version of truth or dare, Emmett running through town in a superman boxers. Alice shouts out on the corner "ITS A BIRD!!" Rosalie yells "NO ITS
A PLANE!!" Jasper and Edward pop up from behind "NO ITS SUPER MAN!!"

-Edward is helping Emmett clean their room, He opens the closet and a bunch of bananas pile out.
"Emmett. What the heck man?! Why is there a bunch of bananas in your closet? And OH GOD!!! THEY'RE ALL ROTTEN!!"
"I do know, I thought they looked cool"

-theres a loud thump in the Cullens' living room, they all rush in, then freeze. "He does exist"

santa stares at the vampires" they do extist" then the M&M guys walk out of the kitchen "WHOA HO!"

-every year, the cullens and werewolves reenact thanksgiving. "Dad" jacob whines, wearing a loincloth and paint. "This is your heritage!!" Billy states. "Fine!"Jacob snaps then walks up to Edward, who was adjusting his hat. "HOW" Jacob raises his hand, Edward raises his "Welcome friend" Carlisle and Billy smile at each other.

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a/n thanks those who reviewed. sorry there aren't any about Esme, ill have to think about her for a while.