Dear Damon,

Do you have any idea how much I miss our sex life? I mean really miss it, like it's some vital part of me I can't ever get back?

Because I can't. What I had with you, in every way, not just physically, can never be duplicated. It was unique to us.

But the sex…

I'd heard the rumors of course. I knew if you and I ever did go there I'd be in for something amazing.

I just didn't know how amazing.

But I'm glad we never went there while I was human. I don't think human Elena would've taken to our physical activities the same way vampire Elena does. It might've been my age, or just my lack of experience, but the thought of being intimate with you was terrifying to me before I transitioned.

Human Elena would've balked and blushed at the dirty things you say and the sinful things you do. She'd have shied away if you asked her to show you how she likes to be touched or if you tried anything with her in a place that wasn't the bedroom.

But vampire Elena… I'm all for it. I have no fears with you. Certainly not in bed. I trust you completely.

Especially with me.

It's part of what made sex with you so incredible and beautiful and FUN. I never knew sex could be fun. And so passionate and overwhelming it's almost disturbing. I love it. I love the way you make me feel. And I could never feel it all like I do if I wasn't a vampire anyway.

I won't pretend it wasn't part of why I chose not to take the cure. Not just the sex, but everything. Once you get over the initial shock of the heightened emotions, you grow to like it. To appreciate it.

The beauty in it. The power.

How alive it can make you feel.

And the irony is that we're dead, yet we're more alive then we ever were as humans. We feel more. We experience more. We understand more. We're more adept. More in touch with life and humanity and it's value.

Even the blood is like a metaphor for it all. We literally run on the life source of others. We derive pleasure from it.

I never understood before my transition. I'm not sure any human truly could. That's why those that hate us or hunt us or use us are so spiteful. Why they fear us. People like Dr Whitmore or Dr Maxfield only see us for what our enhancements can do for humans. Hunters abhor us for our biological desire to kill.

But none of them UNDERSTANDS.

There's so much more to it than that.

So much more life and perspective and opportunity in it. If you're open to it. If you find the right person to share it with.

I'm so lucky I had you. You made all this worth it. Made it fun. I'd never be so happy and confident and comfortable this way if it wasn't for you.

I'll always be grateful to you for that.

For seeing me struggle so hard to come to terms with my vampirism, for watching me make mistakes and kill and figure out how to navigate immortality and bloodlust and never looking at me any differently even as I changed.

For loving me through it all. For accepting and appreciating the darkness that rose to the surface. For believing it wouldn't eclipse my light because you'd never let me lose myself entirely.

I'm so grateful Damon. You can't even imagine.

Sincerely Yours,

Elena