She'd lost her sense of time ages ago. If you asked her, she wouldn't be able to tell you how long it had been since she'd parked on the hilltop-in fact, she wouldn't even be able to recall how it was that she got there exactly. The only thing playing in her mind was the look on their faces...

"Emma!"

Hadn't Mary Margaret realized she hadn't done it on purpose? Why had she acted as though it had been anything more than an accident? She'd looked at her as though...

"As though I'd struck out with the intent to hurt David. As though..." Emma dropped her head back against the head rest, the tears falling freely down her cheeks now. "As though I were some kind of monster."

It's a while before she comes back to herself, before she comes back to the world. She's still sitting in the Bug on the edge of the cliff, but it's nearly dawn, and the sky has started graying slightly in anticipation. She sits up, rolling her shoulders and cracking the kinks out of her neck, and it's then when she sees that she has company.

His new leather jacket is folded up and stuffed under his head, and she can't help but wonder how he isn't freezing. His position on the ground does nothing to give it away, if anything, he looks the picture of ease, with his hand and hook folded across his stomach and his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. His eyes are closed and his face is peppered with stubble, and despite everything that's happened (or maybe because of it), she can't help but feel envious of how seemingly relaxed he is. She lets herself watch him for a little while longer, lets herself trace his features and burn them into her mind (not that they weren't already, but she'd yet to see him quite like this-so, vulnerable, and, well, peaceful) before sighing in resignation.

She opens the door, taking care to keep it quiet despite the fact that the hinges squeak and the bottom edge tends to scrape against the frame. He still wakes up though, blinking his eyes open and staring at the tree tops for several seconds as if to remind himself of where he is before pinning that blue gaze on her. The corner of his mouth lifts in that infuriatingly adorable smile he reserves just for her and his eyes are soft. And when she sees that, she feels the pinching in the back of her throat and the stinging in the back of her eyes and dammit she is Emma Swan and she does not cry twice in one day. Something in her face must alert him to her thoughts because the next thing she knows, he's standing up and pulling her into his arms and his hand is in her hair and the edge of his hook is resting against a strip of skin exposed by her sweater riding up and she's crying again.

She feels him press a kiss to her hair and whisper reassurances as he runs his hand up and down her back. She doesn't catch more than "Swan" and "love," but then again she's not paying much attention because she's having a goddamn mental/physical/emotional breakdown and all she's aware of is the sound of her breath hiccuping and the wetness that are her tears soaking his shirt and neck. Eventually, though, her mind and her body and her heart quiet and she finds that she's lined up her breathing to match his, and the realization is oddly comforting in a way that his arms around her-though very comforting-aren't. She sniffs a lot and raises her arm to wipe her face when the motion is arrested by a gentle hand beating her to it and brushing a black cloth over her eyes and nose, a black cloth she last remembers tied around the palm of her injured hand. Green eyes clash against blue, and somehow, despite the fact that the look of fear in her own mother's eyes is still imprinted in her brain, the heat from that first adventure with this man drops her belly in a swoosh, and she can't breathe for an entirely different reason.

"There's my Swan." His gaze is full of that intense emotion she knows the name of but isn't quite so ready to accept yet, with more than a touch of concern mixed in with it. "For a moment I thought I'd lost you. For real, this time."

She takes a step back and blinks at him, hearing what he's saying but not understanding because it almost sounds as if..."What?"

That infernal eyebrow lifts. "I've been looking for you. First with your father and then on my own." He breaks their eye contact and looks down at his hand, where he's twisting the black handkerchief around his fingers in an uncharacteristic sign of nervousness. "I didn't want you to feel as though everyone you...care, for, had abandoned you-again."

The astonishment at seeing her pirate blush (because even though she might not be ready to put a name to her feelings for him, she'd long given up on fighting against the admission that she was his and he was hers) is almost enough to distract her from the painful feeling of hope that's risen in her crumpled heart. Almost. "You...but, what I did..."

"Was not you." Here he brings his eyes back to hers and holds them, a fierceness she recognizes from the early days of their acquaintance hardening his gaze. "You are not a monster, love, and I would dare anyone to contradict that-then see how long they live after I'm through with them."

"Hook-"

"No, Emma, let me say this." It's the use of her given name that stops her from protesting-she can count on one hand the number of times he's done so since they first met, which means whatever follows is incredibly important. "You have magic. And because you do, that makes you dangerous," his hand darts out to take hold of her when she tries to pull away in hurt, "hold on, wait, let me finish-it makes you dangerous...but only if you let it get away from you." He brushes her hair away from her face and holds her in place so she can't look away. "And you, Swan, are too strong for that."

"How do you know?" She whispers, transfixed by the intensity in his blue eyes.

"Because you once told me that we understood each other. And I still believe that." His gaze softens only slightly. "I understand that right now you feel like a monster, like you've failed-because of the things your parents did or didn't say, because of whatever the Ice Queen said that got under your skin and into your head, because of how you lost control outside the sheriff's station. But you're wrong. You're no more a monster than," he casts his eyes around and to the sky as though he's looking for the answer in the trees, "than, Henry."

"But I-"

"You're not, Swan. You've trusted me before. Do me a favor and trust me again when I tell you that the last thing in the world you could be is a monster."

She doesn't say anything for a while, just stares into his eyes, watching him watch her and wait for her, just as he's always done. And it hits her. He has waited for her. For over a year, he'd waited for her, and he's still waiting for her. Waiting for her to let go and to trust him and to...to love him. The way he loves her. Because looking at him now, and remembering what they've gone through to get to this point, there's no doubt in her mind that he loves her. And she's starting to believe the that she might...

"I love you." Um, okay, Emma, way to blurt that out there with no warning...

He blinks. Then blinks again. Then apparently notices that his jaw has dropped and he closes it. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. And then swallows again. There's a tightening of his jaw as he tilts his head and takes a tiny step closer to her. That infernal tongue of his darts out and smooths itself over his bottom lip, the corners of which have twisted up into a sinful grin-that coupled with the wicked gleam in his blue eyes sends a flare of heat knifing through her belly and a wave of deja vu flooding her memories. It's the only warning she gets before he invades her space and hooks his arm around her waist. "What was that love? I didn't quite hear you."

She scoffs and rolls her eyes, stumbling only slightly (though she'd never admit it) when he pulls her impossibly closer to him, her hands coming up to rest against his chest. She gets lost in his eyes and the heady feeling his proximity brings, and they're both leaning into each other when he flinches back, pain flashing across his face. They both look down to a spot just above his heart where the material of his shirt has been burned through, and Emma rears back in horror and self-recrimination.

"My God, Killian..."

"Swan-"

"No, this is exactly what I was talking about-"

"Swan-"

"-you have to stay away from me, I can't-"

"Swan!" His hand and hook come up to grip her shoulders and his eyes fix onto hers. "You're not running away again-I won't let you."

"Hook-"

"Swan, whatever this is, whatever needs to be done, we'll do it together. Do you understand?"

"Hook..."

"I love you. I'm in love with you." He holds her gaze with determination before pressing a hard kiss to her lips.

His arms pull her into him roughly, and she feels everything he must be feeling conveyed in this kiss-his frustration, his worry, his love. And she kisses him back, her fingers fisting in his jacket as she tries to close the non-existent distance between their bodies even more. His hand reaches up to slide through her hair, and he tilts her head to deepen the kiss. It slows them down, transforming the roughness into a tender, simmering heat that she feels down to the tips of her toes. When the need for oxygen outweighs the need for his lips, she pulls back and he leans his forehead against hers, his hand at the back of her neck keeping her from moving too far away. Their breaths are mingling and her eyes are closed when she hears him whisper her name against her lips. Opening her eyes slowly, she drags her gaze up to his and when they meet he speaks again, quietly and slowly, as though he were trying not to frighten her away. "I am in love with you, Emma Swan, and I'll be damned if I let you go through this alone, do you hear me?"

Tears prick the corners of her eyes but she nods once. And this time, she lets herself believe it.

A/N: Sooo, this is a tag to 4x07, I think...the episode before that two-hour episode that I still haven't finished watching all the way through (blame my teachers and the craziness that are the weeks before Thanksgiving)...which obviously means that it's AU, since what happens here is definitely not what happened on the show (I'd gotten at least that far in the episode). Anywho, hope you enjoyed reading, and I hope you'll let me know what you think! If you don't have time, that's okay, too, I'm just happy you made it here. :)

Happy Thanksgiving to all you Americans out there, and I promise-I'll do my best to finish out the rest of the episode over my break. :)

~Clara