Aya arrived to find Earth a chaotic mess. Even from her vantage point hanging miles above the surface of the planet.
With billions of lives and tens of thousands of petabytes to examine, aggregating and isolating the relevant data points, then synthesizing and analyzing the data in order to draw meaningful conclusions, would take time.
Aya dedicated her entire runtime to the task until her concentration was broken.
"Fancy meeting you here."
Aya paused her analysis to face the interloper, a blond, brawny human wearing a green vest over black clothes.
"Greetings, Green Lantern Guy Gardner."
"Hello yourself, Apa, Ava?"
"Aya."
"Aya, right. Well what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be dead?"
"I was, after a fashion."
Guy made an 'ah' face. "So what are you doing here?" he asked.
"Query: do you intend to take me to the Guardians so that they might dissemble me?"
Guy shook his head, "Nah. I know all the stuff the Guardians said about you. Abomination. Too dangerous to exist. Yadda, yadda, yadda. They said the same stuff about my intelli-toaster."
"Then you don't intend to deactivate me?"
Guy shook his head again, "Nope. Hal told me about you. As long as you don't try to destroy the universe again you're fine by me."
"I am relieved," said Aya.
"I still want to know what you're doing here," said Guy, moving closer to Aya.
"I am attempting to understand displays of affection in order to better cultivate my relationship with my love. Green Lantern Hal Jordan suggested I reference teenager internet searches in order to understand the concept. I am in the process of isolating data matching these parameters."
Guy chortled, "Hah! Did he now?"
Aya nodded.
Guy chuckled, "Well, that might work if you want to act like a girl. But if you want to be a woman for your man, heh, well you're not going to learn that by snooping on teenagers. You'd be better off learning that from a man."
Aya tilted her head, "What you say makes sense. Are you volunteering for the task?"
Guy spread his arms, "Why not? It's a slow day."
"Very well. I accept your offer."
Guy smiled, "You won't regret it. Head on down to North America. That's uh . . . that one down there." He chuckled to himself as he followed after Aya, "Teaching a robot to love . . ."
Hal burst in through the Earth's atmosphere, following Aya's trail and praying he found her before Razer found him. As he closed in he detected a second Green Lantern signature near Aya's.
"Dammit," Hal growled and accelerated, following the trail until he arrived at what seemed to be an inconspicuous apartment building before bursting in through the nearest window.
"–and that's why the 1984 Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue will always be my favorite. Oh, hey Hal! Nice of you to drop in! You're paying for that window though."
Hal's jaw dropped at the scene in front of him. Aya and Guy Gardner sat on a couch, in front of them was a coffee table covered in magazines. Aya was rapidly thumbing through a magazine, far faster than any human could read, while simultaneously interfacing with a laptop that rested on the coffee table.
"What?"
"Hello, Hal," said Aya.
"What are you doing here?" asked Hal.
"Green Lantern Guy Gardner has been explaining physical affection to me," said Aya, while continuing to absorb the media in front of her.
"As long as he hasn't been demonstrating it," said Hal, glaring at Guy.
"Of course not, what do you take me for?" asked Guy with a lopsided grin.
"For you," said Hal accusingly.
"Hey," said Guy, "I was just trying to help your poor girl out."
"Indeed," said Aya. She closed the magazine and set it on the table along with all the others and ceased interfacing with the laptop. Then she rose from the couch and walked the short distance to Hal. "I believe I now have enough data to advance my relationship with my love. Do you know where he is?"
Hal gulped, "Last I saw him, Kilowog was holding him back from trying to kill me before I made my escape. So he's probably right behind me."
"Oh, good," said Aya, before removing a chip from her armature and handing it to Hal. "Please tell him to meet me at this location when he arrives."
With that said, Aya slipped past Hal and flew out through the hole he had left in the window.
"I'm a dead man," said Hal.
"Not in my apartment," said Guy, "get the hell out."
Hal rounded on Guy, "What did you tell her?"
Guy cackled and reclined in his sofa, placing his hands behind his head, "Oh, let's just say your friend is gonna thank me when she's done with him."
Hal face palmed as Guy laughed maniacally.
Guy kept going, "I mean, Hal, you would not believe the upgrades she started talking about making to herself."
Hal grinded his face into his palm. "Why are you doing this to me, Guy?"
"Simple. Once your little robot girl realizes what a putz her boy toy is she's gonna come back to the source," Guy pointed a finger victoriously against his own chest. "I mean a woman who volunteers to upgrade herself? What man could say no to that?"
"You're disgusting," said Hal. Then another question occurred to him. "What the hell are you even doing on Earth anyway? Aren't you an honor guard?"
Guy looked down, "I don't want to talk about it."
Hal shook his head, then, "Is that a Cosmo magazine?"
"Hey, she picked that one out!"
"Wait . . ." Hal grimaced, "tell me you did not take her out in public."
"Oh, don't be such a wuss. There's a convention in town. Everyone thought she was a cosplayer."