AN: Watch closely for the Sophia parallel!
He had come back dripping wet, forlorn and upset.
Without her.
Damn it.
DAMN IT!
And now...
He was really fucking pissed off.
And he wanted to be left alone and he wanted to cry, all at the same time.
He had lost her, AGAIN.
For the THIRD TIME.
First, the prison.
Second, Goddammit, Rick.
Third, this. Fucking this, the images still flashing in his head of the car ramming into her...
And he feels that guilt for Sophia that's always plagued him come back to haunt him. And he feels this burning, romantic love for Carol, truly unreal for it was so big and strong he felt it would never die, crush him with sadness and he wanted to scream because she might be dead now and why wasn't he looking for her?
It's in this moment, he loses control and he loses his fucking mind, body, head, soul, what the FUCK ever for the first time since he had been ready to fight Shane about only finding Sophia's doll.
"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST KEEP AN EYE ON HER?!" he screams to no one, slamming his knife into the table so hard it gets lodged in deep. He kicks the table so hard it topples over and crashes along with the books that just repeat, "THOU SHALT NOT KILL".
He didn't give a fuck what had happened for God's sake, why did he have to lose her again?! WHY?
He couldn't lose her again, he couldn't, he couldn't!
He wanted her!
He...
He fucking needed her...
Rick and the group all looked up at the sound of his despaired scream of frustration and the loud smashing, excusing it despite the threat of walkers because they knew Daryl, or most of them, well and they knew he hasn't had an outburst quite like that in a very long time. Rick's face became sadness for the man who was like his brother, wanting to try and calm him down, but knowing it was best to let him be. And when he was to go look for his love, Rick would not stop him this time for the greater good of the pack. He had already denied him his older brother, God rest his soul, but for what Carol had done and what Carol meant to Daryl that seemed so unheard of even before the Turn, he would let his brother go in search of something he could not replace and he couldn't live without.
He would let his brother go search for himself.
Because Carol was his everything, above his adopted family he had shown the most sacrifice, grace, and selflessness for her. He knew of their nights spent alone, something he was waiting for them to say before he spoke a word of it.
And he knew Daryl would come back, safe, with her if it cost him an arm and a leg but he'd give that asshole redneck shit-eating grin.
The sorrowful, keening sobs started and the group turned away, even Rick, to the gut-wrenching sound. The strongest love in the apocalypse could not be broken, only breaking the person at the thoughts and fears of losing their other.
And for now, Daryl had lost his.
He didn't know if he would get her back.
Nine lives... Right?
He shook his head and sobbed harder, curling into himself.
Stay safe, he prayed, Please stay safe...
AN: Tell me if you guys want me to continue?