The sun was starting to rise when her eyes fluttered again. He stilled his breathing and waiting for her to open then and see him there. He hadn't slept, much to the priest's dismay. But he wouldn't risk something happening to her while he slept. Not if there was something that he could do. He wasn't a doctor but he'd watch Hershel patch enough people up to know the basics.
"Oh… I feel like I've been hit by a truck." She mumbled, eyes still closed as she raised her head and reached back to feel the wound. Daryl smirked and placed a hand on her shoulder. He wasn't sure if she knew he was there or not. "What the hell did ya do to my head?"
"I didn't hit ya in the head with that rock, girl. You fell on it."
"No, I'm talking about these stitches." She laughed a bit and laid her head back down and opened her eyes to look at him. "Do they look as bad as they feel?" She asked with a smile.
"I ain't no doctor. Did the best I could to patch ya up. Watch yerself an' I won't have to do it again." He responded with a nudge to her shoulder. She giggled softly and then moaned again as the throbbing picked up in her head.
"Do we still have any advil?" She had to take something or she'd be in bed all day. He nodded and reached across her to the night stand where the bottle with four pills left sat next to an half empty bottle of water. She muttered her thanks as she rose up enough to take two of them and drink some water. He watched her movements carefully, every twitch of her face, hands, and arms. He was measuring her pain as he had done so often as a child with his mother. Her eyes were closed and her brows were furrowed together. Her lips would pull together in a tight line ever so often and her fingers would claw into her arm or the sheets when the pain would crash over her with each beat of her heart.
"Relax, it'll ease up soon." He whispered as he ran his hand down her right arm trying to sooth her. She relaxed into his touch.
It's like we're back home, lil brother. You always took care of momma.
He had to. Merle always ran when the ol' man got drunk and beat them. When their mother died in the fire he was actually jealous of her for being free. He was glad he wouldn't have to see her in pain anymore and put towels to her bloody lips any longer. He had wished she had taken her with him.
"Stop watchin' me. You're making me feel uncomfortable." She grumbled. He started to ask what she was talking about but she went on talking. "I can feel your eyes on me." She whispered with a smirk.
"Sorry." He mumbled and lay down next to her looking up the ceiling feeling awkward and dejected.
"s'alright." They remained silent for a long while and he had actually thought she had fallen back asleep. That is until she asked , "Did you stay up all night?" He grunted a response letting her know he had. "You should sleep."
"Nah, I'm not tried." Beth slowly sat up and looked down at him, her bloody hair falling down her shoulder and onto his arm.
"Bullshit. Get some sleep." She stood up on wobbly legs and headed for the door. He was by her side in a second.
"What the hell ya think yer doin'?" He growled as he supported her until she found her feet.
"I'm going to get cleaned up. I'm not going to let a little bump to the head stop me from taking care of myself." She growled at him and freed herself from his grip and walked out of the bedroom and sent a morning greeting to the priest. Daryl stood there stunned and confused. He heard her turn on the water in the bathroom and her gasp as she dipped her head in the cold water. She really had changed and he didn't know what to think about this new Beth. She was much stronger than he could give her credit for. He'd been hospitalized for at least two days after he and Merle got into a fight and knocked him out. They worried his brain would bleed or something and made his sit in that bed for no damn reason but to charge them more money. And he hurt like hell. But she just pretended like nothing had happened. What was she trying to prove?
Sighing deeply he walked out of their room and out onto the front porch. It was quiet and cold but it felt great on his skin. He had felt like he was on fire the entire night lying next to her. He climbed up on the railing and sat with his arms resting on his knees as he watched the wind blow through the trees. Everything felt normal. It was almost like he could forget that the dead were walking and the world had gone to shit. He tried not to think of anything but the sound of the woods and how at home it made him feel. He longed for a few moments where he didn't feel like he was being ripped apart physically or emotionally.
The door pushed open and Beth stepped out. Her hair was dripping wet and she was trying to dry the ends with a bloody towel. He chuckled at the sight and she tossed it at him. "Can't help it, it was the only one in the cabin half dry." He caught it and tossed it back to her.
"Should give ya an idea of how bad off ya were an' that you need to rest."
"I'm not going to lie in bed all day. We ain't traveling today anyway so what does it matter if I get up and organize what we want to take?" He eyed her carefully. There were no twitches, no spasms to indicate pain. Either the advil had worked well and quickly or she was masking the pain very well. Then, a quick furrow of her brows told him what he needed to know.
"Beth, I need ya to listen to me for a minute." She sat down in front of him and nodded, a chill running though her from either the cold or the conversation, he wasn't sure. He also wasn't sure how he was going to say what he needed to say to her. "You ain't the same. I know ya said ya had to be tougher with him an' all but ya ain't the same in here." He pointed to her chest and then to her head. "Or here." He dropped his hand slowly and her eyes followed his hand. She looked like she was building a wall around herself. Her face was steeled. She was shutting down.
He dropped his legs and sat forward taking her wrist in his hand and jerking her attention to him. "See, this right here is what I'm talkin' about. Yer falling away from me, girl. Yer not that lost girl," he paused and realized that wasn't what he wanted to say. "You ain't the lost woman you used to be. But what yer doing, I've seen it before. You're gunna break." She watched his face closely as he spoke but her expression never changed. His thumb ran across her arm as his held her wrist but she didn't seem to notice. "Talk to me, Beth." He quietly begged.
"This world changes people, Daryl. I can't be weak like I was before. My weakness caused us pain when Gabriel took me. I couldn't protect myself and I'm not going to let that happen again." He shook his head at her response.
"I'll keep you alive." He promised. "Just show me how." That startled her. Her steeled expression faltered and her head dropped. A small groan escaped her lips from the pain in her head and his hand immediately went to her cheek to pull it back up so she would look at him. He needed to see her. He needed to read her pain to know the truth.
"I can't rely on you when you have to keep yourself alive. And Father Gabriel can't protect himself. You need someone else to have your back. This can't all fall on you."
"You act like I can't handle it." He growled at her. His father's laughter was echoing in his mind. His anger flared but he did everything he could to control it.
"You can. But you'll break. I remember things about last night. When you were fixing my head I could hear you talking. It was like I was watching from outside my body. I heard you yell at Merle. I heard what you told Gabriel. You're already so broken but you don't want anyone to fix you. You made that very clear yesterday."
Blondie needs to mind her own business, lil brother.
"Maybe I was wrong." He whispered. His eyes dropped and his hands fell back to the railing he was perched on. "Maybe we both need fixin'." Her eyes watered slightly and it was her turn to make him look at her.
"Tell me what to do." She conceded. He wanted to tell her to rest and they'd talk about it later but he didn't want her to leave. She moved closer to him, her innocence bringing them within a few inches of each other. "Please."
Everything fell down on him at once. The pain of watching her father die, leaving with her and holing up in himself, breaking down in front of her, burning his past only to have it haunt him tenfold when he lost her at that funeral home, and then finding her only to think that he was going to lose her again. He realized that she was the reason he was breaking. Every time he snapped a little more each time was because of her or something directly related to her. She was his weakness and he was fine with that. She was his drug, and he didn't think he could get enough of her.
"Don't leave me again." He answered honestly and she understood him immediately. He needed her there physically and emotionally. He needed her to be strong for him where he couldn't be strong for himself. He needed her to balance his weakness. She nodded slowly. Without thinking he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. His body prepared for her to slap him but she didn't. She stilled momentarily and then applied equal pressure to his. He slowly moved his lips over hers and she mirrored his actions. His hand moved to her hair, careful to avoid her wound and her hands went to his chest. He never deepened the kiss. He was testing the waters. Testing himself. When he finally pulled back he waited for the onslaught. But it never came. Instead, she smiled softly and stood up, grabbing his hand as she did.
"Come on, we both need rest. We can talk about this more later." He nodded and followed her back into the cabin. He watched her as she closed the door and secured it. His mind was numb and his lips still burned where hers had just been.
Had to have a taste, huh lil brother?
He pushed his brother down again and followed her to their room. They both ignored the looks Gabriel was giving them and failed to see him reach for his bible and shuffle to the couch to read. She closed the door behind them and pushed him down on the bed. Her movements reminded him of times long ago when women would push him around like this and his body reacted to the memory. But this wasn't what Beth intended.
She pulled off his boots and kicked off hers as well and curled up next to him, careful to keep pressure off her wound. When he didn't move she reached back and grabbed his hands and wrapped his arms around her. He tensed at the feel of her like this. He'd never held a woman like this before. This was new territory for him. She waited for him to relax but he never did. Eventually, her breathing evened out as she fell asleep and Daryl released a deep breath. His muscles loosened and his body seemed to fall into place. He was comfortable. Soon after, he was asleep as well.
This chapter was really easy for me to write after I listened to the title song again last night. I knew where I wanted to go with this. For those of you that know the song, you'll see bits of lyrics in Daryl's speech to Beth. If you don't know the song, go check it out. "Give me a sign" By Breaking Benjamin. And of course, let me know what you think.