AN: Please don't kill me. I left you guys again even after I promised not to. Life has been chaotic at best and hell at worst, leaving little to no time to write. I managed to finally sit down for a while and write a bit. I might have more time to write in the near future, so hopefully I'll be able to update more often. A quick wrap up of where we left on last time with some fluff at the end. Hopefully, this is enough for y'all, but I highly doubt it. Again, sorry for abandoning you. I do appreciate dearly and greatly all those favorites and follows I got during my leave. Thank you so very much to you all.
Now, let's get this show on the road...
"
"Twenty push ups! Move it!"
It had been three months since signing up with the Alliance. The training was vigorous at best. At worst, tortuous. Extremely early waking hours, short meal times, drills in the middle of the night. Nothing like our days with the Knights.
Still, that time served me well. I'd have been a scrawny little girl otherwise. I probably wouldn't have made it past the first day.
Despite all the long hours, I was proud of serving as an Alliance soldier. Just knowing that I'll be able to help when the Reapers get here calms me somewhat. Having John at my side is another pointer.
John was proving to be everything I was expecting. He has improved greatly since we arrived, both mentally and physically. From exercises to combat skills to crew duties, John excels. Slowly but surely, Shepard is surfacing.
"Man, my back is killing me."
"You'll get used to it, Rodriguez."
"Easy for you to say. You've been here for six months, a few days from becoming a full-fledged soldier. I just got here."
Ensign Stephanie Rodriguez. Newest member and the person I share a bunk with. She's strong, but not used to pushing herself so much, hence the complaining. And she was right about me leaving. Two more days and we're off into whatever battlefield the Alliance puts us in.
"Trust me, in a month or so, you'll forget you were complaining." I said.
"I'll miss you. When you're gone." Rodriguez said. Even if she is my age, she acts a bit girlish around me since we became acquainted. Even if I've met her only for a month or so, she's the closest thing to a friend in the Alliance. A sister, even.
"I'll miss you too, Steph." I replied, pulling her into a small embrace. "We'll stay in touch, though."
(Two days later)
"Each of you have fought hard to reach this day. You have trained and learned everything there is to being a soldier. Combat, duties, leadership. All of you have passed the trials presented to you. Which is why I, as Captain and fellow soldier, welcome all of you into the Alliance Navy. Congratulations." Applaud rose from the fresh batch of soldiers and attendees present after Anderson concluded the ceremony. It had been short and to the point, with only a few family members present.
It was an excitingly terrifying moment for John and I. Mostly for him, being the paragon he is. The pain from our experience with the Knights had receded, but it still left a scar. The training had helped a great deal, focusing on excelling the lessons rather than tearing off Helena's head. He seemed excited to join the Alliance, despite the way we joined.
We didn't have a lot of time together anymore since we didn't have training sessions together and we slept in same-gender rooms. Mealtimes were short and fraternization was a HUGE no with Alliance regulations. Hopefully, now we would have more time.
As families began to exit the theater-like room, Anderson approached us.
"Congratulations, Privates." he said with a salute.
"Thank you, sir." John replied with a salute; I followed suit.
"I know you two had...something...together." Anderson began.
Oh, boy... Time to act like a soldier.
"Don't worry, Captain." I said as I took an "at ease" stance. "We know the rules. We didn't break them during training, we're not going to break them now."
"I'm sure you won't. You have a debt to pay off, after all. Besides, I trust you to do the right thing or... at least be discreet."
... what did that mean?
"At any rate," Anderson continued, "I came to give you your first assignment. You'll be aboard the SSV Ain Jalutan , an Alliance frigate. There, you'll be helping them explore some uncharted worlds near the Attican Traverse. A slow assignment for two fresh soldiers. Work hard and you'll be home free in about six months."
"Thank you, sir." I said. "For giving us this opportunity."
"I know you've had rough times. The both of you. But it doesn't get any easier from here on out. The training speaks for itself." Anderson said. Indeed it does.
"I have to go meet with Alliance brass." He continued. "Head over to docking port C9. That's where the Ain Jalutan is docked. Good luck to the both of you. In everything."
And with that, he was gone. All of this was so new yet so familiar. I knew what would come in some years, I knew who was the only person that could stop it. But right now, there was nothing I could do other than act as the soldier that I am until the time came when I could help in a larger scale.
"Welcome aboard the SSV Ain Jalutan. I'm Captain Lee, in charge of this vessel. This is Commander Peterson, XO."
"Welcome." Peterson said. "Follow me, I'll show you to the crew quarters."
After saluting to the captain, we made our way to the crew quarters. It was...quite the ship. It was so exhilarating to finally be aboard the ship, on our first assignment. The CIC looked a lot like that of the Normandy's, only the galaxy map was accessible with out the need of a ramp. Heading to the lower levels, the Mess came into view, the Captain's quarters right next to it, similar to the Normandy's. The crew's quarters were situated across the Mess hall. It was a lot like the ones at the Alliance training camp, six bunks crammed into a room, footlockers near a corner.
"You'll find some toiletries in your footlockers as well as two uniforms. As soon as we're ready for take off, the Captain will assign you your duties. Again, welcome aboard."
Wow. That wasn't what I was expecting. I was expecting something along the lines of "Do whatever you're told and we might not throw you out the airlock." Climbing to a top bunk, I lie down gracelessly, taking in the days events. I can hear John do the same in the bunk below mine. After some moments of silence, John spoke.
"Well. This is it."
"This is it." I respond.
"What will we do? After all of this is over?"
"I think you're getting too far ahead. We have to get through this first. Afterwards... I don't know." But I do know. There is no 'what will we do.' Not with the Reapers. Not with everything.
"You're probably right, thinking of the future now isn't the best thing to do." A pause. "What... what about us? The Alliance has regs about this, we both know that. But..."
There it was. The question I had been secretly dreading since we decided to join the Alliance. Us. John and I. I don't know what to do. I fell for him, despite my better judgment that told me something like this might happen. I knew the risks, I knew what would happen. And yet I let myself care for him. Love him.
"Sel?" John said, breaking my chain of thoughts.
"Sorry. I was...thinking. John," I begin to sit up. "We've been through hell, you and I. We endured Cerberus, we survived the Templars, we made it to where we are now. Somehow, I doubt I would've been able to go through all that if you hadn't been there. I would've probably died at that Cerberus hell-hole.
"I can't imagine what I'd do without you. I... I care about you, John. You're everything I want in someone plus tenfold. But like you said, there are regs for these kind of things."
I hear John shift in his bed after a moment, then find him climbing up to my bunk. When he reaches me, he takes me into his arms, cradling me.
"I feel the same way about you." He says after a moment. "You fuel me to keep going. I would've died back at that warehouse had you not been there. I would've been blinded by rage, charged at a burning building in search of my friends. I... it hurts. That I couldn't save them, but maybe we can make their sacrifice with it. They would not have died in vain if we make this right, if with time we can take down the Templars and other mercenaries out there.
"But I need you at my side to do it. Maybe we can't be too open about it. It can't be like before, but there can still be an 'us.' We just have to be careful."
"I trust you to do the right thing or... at least be discreet."
Maybe Anderson was right. If we can hide it, if we're not obvious about it, there can still be... an 'us.'
I capture his lips in a small quick kiss. It wasn't what I wanted it to be, but it has to be enough. At least for now.