A week had past since Beth left Alison house without saying another word to her. Anger and resent had filled her mind when she thought about the other woman. Alison had talked Cosima into calling a few times, but every time she did Beth shut her out and hung up. Beth was shutting everyone out, locking herself away from the rest of the world. Even Art was struggling with her condescending attitude. Fuck them all, she thought, and went on her own rouge way. She'd had enough crap in her life, anything that wasn't strictly business related was useless to her nowadays. She buried herself in the gym, running away from her problems, pushing her body beyond the limit. When she'd get home at the end of the day she'd pass out before Paul had returned, still avoiding him at all costs as well. She was done with him and his crap. Many of those nights, actually all of them, were spent crying or drinking herself to sleep. Depression consumed her, but at least Paul hadn't abused her lately.

Isolated away from the world so she couldn't be anyone else's problem. Her mind was too burned out to work anymore, she couldn't even begin to focus on the Maggie Chen case.

Paul was going away for the weekend, a work trip. It was the first and last time they spoke before he left, with Beth only responding with a whatever which earned her a slap across the face from Paul. He'd be gone soon enough.

Not only was Art breathing down her neck, so was the police chief. Her hearing was in a couple of days, they wanted nothing more than for her to be cleared for active duty again.

Everything was starting to look up, from anyone else's point of view, but to Beth it was a nightmare. She'd gone without her pills the entire week, not even the painkillers for her broken ribs. Figuring it was time to try something new, that's what her therapists told her constantly. The pills were a crutch, and now she was crawling her way through this meaningless life, through hell. Katja was returning, she'd brought bad news though. She had the infection that Danielle Fournier died of, which meant there was a possibility that the rest of the clones were susceptible to the disease. With even more news, Katja was requesting Beth's protection because someone had tried killing her. She was certain their creators were behind it, which worried Katja worse.

The last straw on her back was a call from Alison, the innocence in her voice made Beth's stomach want to turn. She'd called on the day of the hearing, wishing Beth the best of luck on it, although Beth hadn't told her about it. She must have been paying attention when Beth spoke up her all of those times. To hell with her. Beth had dressed, a simple but business like appeal to her outfit for the hearing, her hair pulled up. Sighing, Beth couldn't even recognize herself in the mirror. She place her hand against the glass, trying to touch the stranger she saw in herself. After the mirror she touched her face, her cheek, it was useless and numb. She needed a walk before she left to the station, maybe then she'd feel something.

Quick walks never stayed quick with her though, and if it weren't for the heels she had chosen to wear today, she would've been running. Of course, she could've ran in them, but didn't feel like it. She wanted to blend in rather than draw attention to herself.

The rain had stopped, but the grounds were soaked, as was Beth. A typical winter day, nothing out of the ordinary. People shoved their way past her, and she let them, not bothering to retaliate, or hold her shoulder up against them when she saw the crash collision course heading her way.

Someone had even yelled at her, screaming that she was a bitch that needed to screw off. The words went in her ears, but didn't translate to anything. She'd stopped caring. People were selfish, a lesson she learned the hard way, repeatedly, but didn't want to accept.

Beth entered the nearest building, Huxley train station, and watched as flocks of people would hoard in and out. She sat, visibly hurting, but no one noticed. No one ever did, and the occasional person who would stare as they walked by did just that. They walked by. Beth was so unimportant to everyone around her, a complete stranger, practically invisible. The janitor had asked her to move, and Beth thought she was even being a hinderer to him as well. Complying, she started pacing.

She was tired, exhausted- mentally, physically, emotionally- In every way. The rise and fall of her chest ached worse than usually, and Beth found herself crying.

This is it, all hope had left.

She opened her phone one last time, looking at the messages, none new, then her photos. Paul looked so happy in some, the older ones, but then the happiness faded, she even saw the same happen in photos of herself. Should she leave a note? Who would even bother looking? Paul hated her, but wouldn't leave her. He probably got a kick out of beating someone, having complete control over them. Alison had rejected her, crushing Beth's last hope at love.

There weren't really any other friends in her life, no family. Even her family must have hated her, having gave her up for adoption when she was an infant. That took years for her to get over, if ever. Beth doubted that she had gotten over it, rather compartmentalized it somewhere that she wouldn't think about it, but right now every single thought about her being a problem, or being hated was rushing into her mind like a dam had just broken. How she had probably wronged so many. Hell, she killed a nearly innocent woman in cold blood, and covered it up. The guilt from that alone was consuming her too.

"Cosima?" Beth didn't know why she had called one of her clones, but she needed to hear a familiar voice, someone, anyone. She wanted to know she was doing the right thing.

"Hey.. Beth, why're you calling? I mean, it's totally cool, just out of the ordinary. Normally you text me a date and time."

"Yeah.."

"So what's up, how's it going? Did you get the briefcase from Katja?"

"Not yet, I-" sighing to regather herself, Beth closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall. "- she's coming tomorrow. The hearing is today."

"Oh, shit. Really? Are you nervous?"

"I'm a cop, I'm never nervous." She chuckled pathetically, the first time she had even remotely laughed in a while. They both knee she was joking, of course Beth got nervous. She was a new detective, only a year under her belt.

"Well call me when it's over, I want to know all of the details."

Screeching echoed in the room, a few people exiting the newest arrival of trains. A voiceover announced the arrival of the next train had been delayed for five minutes.

"Sorry I couldn't hear you over that, whatever it was." Her fingernails were bleeding from being chewed on so frantically. Beth was finally going to do it, to end all of the trouble and the misery, the pain she had caused herself, but the people she loved. Beth couldn't feel a single bit of love in return, not anymore. Alison had shattered her, after Paul had done all of the damage.

"Hey Cosima, I've got to go.. It's time to finish this."

"Shit, yeah. Good luck beth, I know you'll be able to do it." Dropping the phone into her purse, tears crashed from her eyes. Just a few more seconds and the pain will be gone, she wouldn't have to face tomorrow, her demons would get her soul. Beth was hyperventilating, anxiety riding her mind as she paced distraughtly. Cosima had inadvertently given her the courage to actually go through with this, killing herself. Cos was the last person she'd ever talk to, who would ever have to deal with her problems. Art would be able to solve all of the problems with the clones, whoever had invented them, and began killing them, he was a good enough detective- the best in Beth's eyes. As long as the other clones were safe, even Alison, no matter how pissed Beth was at her. Beth genuinely believed it was love, even if it was destroying her. Story of her life, eh?

A woman was approaching, Beth could see it and feel it. The whole platform was empty, there was no reason for her to be heading that way; but Beth knew. There was no changing her mind, no being stopped. She had nothing to live for.

Taking off her blazer, she folded it neatly, setting it above the heels which she took off. Her purse stood on the small pile.

The ground shook, rumbling from the oncoming train. This was the moment. Beth turned to the tracks, catching the strangers face whilst turning.

Not another clone..

That was it, the motion was set in place. Her body carried her further, then gravity took it's place. Death was instant, she didn't feel a thing, or hear the scream of the identical that had been approaching where she previously stood.