Chapter 3 "Get So Breathless"

Disclaimer: SM owns everything, including Renesmee and Jacob. We are just telling their story as we see it.

A/N:So there have been a lot of comments about our posting schedule. Trust us, we wish we could push this out faster, but unfortunately, life is just not playing fair with us this go round. NKR is now working full time, and has hurt her right hand; and WH is doing the work of about 3 people, which doesn't leave either of us much writing time. In order to keep a regular posting schedule, we decided to go every other week. We feel keeping a regular, manageable schedule is best for everyone. We could post everything we have written, but then it could be months before we catch back up, and we don't want to make you wait months. Seriously, the months thing is no lie. We've been working on chapter 11 for about 2 months now. Imagine waiting that long for that shit. So we are taking the tortoise's plan of slow and steady so you can enjoy the journey to the finish line.

Phew. Now that that is out of the way, let's get on with the story. Things are about to get VERY interesting.

Seems like everyone else has a love just for them,
I don't mind, we have such a good time,
My best friend, but sometimes, well,
I wish we could be more than friends,
Tell me do you know?
Tell me do you know?
Oh..

I get so breathless, when you call my name,
I've often wondered, do you feel the same?
There's a chemistry, energy, a synchronicity
When we're all alone,
So don't tell me
You can't see
What I'm thinking of.
"Breathless" - Corinne Bailey Rae

NPOV

I know I'm in my bedroom when I wake up, but something is different about the room I grew up in. I check the clock, and I'm surprised to see the time. As I stretch I can't help smiling; I feel like I slept really well for the first time in forever.

I remember the awkward conversation with Jacob then him pulling me to sit next to him so we could share the popcorn, but after that I don't recall much. I must have fallen asleep, but I have no idea how I ended up in my bed. I suppose one of my parents could have carried me but that doesn't make sense. Normally I'm a pretty light sleeper, waking up whenever I hear them approaching.

When I sit up, I notice I'm still fully clothed from yesterday. As I twist my body, my eyes land on something I haven't seen for a while; the pillow next to mine looks like it was used last night. I don't ever touch that pillow, preferring my softer one. Mom knew Jacob liked a harder pillow so she bought him that one years ago. Back when he use to spend the night, he would toss it on the floor next to me. Even though he hasn't spent the night in a while, I still keep his pillow on the bed, just in case.

Looking at the pillow now, I try with all my might not to assume it was Jacob. Even though I never touch it, maybe Mom brought me to bed last night and laid down with me for a while. Prepared to smell my mother on the pillow, I lean down and take a quick sniff. It makes me feel silly but I need to know.

My stomach lurches and I gasp. Jacob. The pillow smells like Jacob. His scent is so strong it is almost overwhelming to my senses.

I leap from the bed, trying to understand. My head is spinning and I don't know what to think. Now that I can see the whole bed, I notice the covers are all messed up on the other side. Like someone slept there.

Moving slowly, I walk around to the other side of the bed. I'm almost scared to find out if what I'm suspecting is true. What if it is? What does this mean? Why?

Pushing past all the questions in my mind, I force myself to inhale when my nose touches the comforter. Jacob. Having hunted all my life with my family and Jacob, I can tell how fresh a scent is. If I didn't know better, I'd say Jacob left just a couple of hours ago, around dawn. He was here? In my bed?

I try to remind myself he use to stay the night all the time. It isn't a big deal, he's my best friend, that's all. As reasonable as those thoughts are, I know they are wrong. This feels different. Jacob has never shared my bed. Been in the same room, yes, but never in my bed.

Unable to stop myself, I sink back down onto the bed, stretching out on the half that smells like him. I wrap my arms around his pillow taking deep breaths. Yes, his scent is very fresh, hours old at best. I decide not to think about why he stayed, what it means, and just enjoy the moment.

Jacob slept in my bed. With me. That must be why I didn't wake up. I fell asleep leaning against his warm body in the living room. I would have noticed the temperature change between Jacob and my parents, but remaining next to Jacob, my mind didn't register that I was moving. My heart starts beating at double time with this idea. I hate that I missed even a moment of Jacob holding me. Even if it was an innocent touch, I regret I don't have that memory.

Then, for some reason, after he placed me in my bed, instead of leaving or moving to the floor, he climbed in with me. My heart leaps into my throat at just the idea. I try to calm myself down with rational explanations of his actions. Maybe he was so exhausted he didn't realize what he was doing. Or maybe we stayed out in the living room most of the night and he just brought me in here before he left. Taking a deep breath, I have to cross this last idea off my mental list. Not only is his scent fresh, but it's lingering. For it to be this strong still, he had to have stayed in the bed for a couple of hours at least.

I tighten my grip on the pillow, taking another deep breath of Jacob's amazing scent. I relish in it, my thoughts consumed with how he ended up here last night. When my bedroom door opens, I sit up straight, grasping the pillow to my chest like whoever opened my door might try to steal it from me. I feel ridiculous, but can't stop myself.

Mom walks in and she looks very concerned. She takes inventory of the entire room and me in two glances. When her eyes return to me, they have softened. She takes a few quick steps before sitting next to me on the bed. She glances over at me still grasping the pillow.

Leaning forward, she takes a quick smell of the pillow then leans back with a gagging look on her face. "I love Jacob like a little brother, but that is just repulsive."

An uncontrolled giggle escapes my mouth. That simple statement from my mother somehow relaxes me. I drop the pillow to my lap, but refuse to let go of it. Mom pulls me into a tight hug, holding her unnecessary breath after she kisses my forehead.

"Ugh, what did he do, rub himself all over you? I told him, hands above the blanket."

I'm shocked by Mom's words. She knew Jacob was in bed with me? I brush my hand against her cheek, asking her something I need to know before I can get to what I'm dying to find out.

"Your dad went to see Granddaddy Carlisle in Seattle for the day. He'll be back later. Until then, it's just us girls here." Mom's smile is loving and I feel relieved that we can speak openly. No matter how private my thoughts are, if Dad was here, he would hear any conversation Mom and I have.

My next question is for confirmation. Even though Jacob's scent covers my bed, I need to know for sure. My fingers brush her cheek and I ask silently, "He stayed here? In my bed? The whole night?"

"Yes. When I came home you were on the couch, sound asleep. I didn't want to wake you by carrying you myself so I had him tuck you in. He looked so exhausted too, I told him just to crash with you."

"Dad?" I ask, again putting the question in Mom's mind instead of verbalizing.

Mom bites her lip, "He doesn't exactly know. I might have told him a little fib to distract him last night while you two slept. Jacob was gone when we returned at dawn. As far as your father knows, Jacob just stayed outside to watch you while we were out searching down an odd scent I came across."

I'm suddenly very worried. "What scent?"

Mom shrugs her shoulders and winks at me, "I don't know what happened to that scent. We never tracked it down again and your father couldn't find it when we retraced my steps."

"You lied to Dad?" I'm shocked by this semi-admission by my mother. As far as I knew, she never lied to my father.

Her thumb brushes underneath my eye, "To see you look so rested, I would tell your father a thousand lies."

I leap across the bed to hug her, tears are streaming down my face but I don't care. I love her so much. Even though I can't remember anything, I know for a fact now that Jacob slept beside me last night, and I have my wonderful mother to thank for that.

"Hey! You still smell like a wet dog," she giggles but I know she is just kidding. I snuggle under her hair, my head against her shoulder. She rocks slowly back and forth, humming along to whatever song is playing in her head.

After a few minutes she whispers softly, "Did you tell Jacob about leaving?"

I shake my head in the negative. Mom sighs, "I know it's scary, but you have to tell him soon."

With my head tucked away from her view, I silently ask what is on my mind. "Why?"

"Why, what?" Mom asks, obviously confused.

"Why is it so important that I tell Jacob I'm leaving. Seth told me the same thing last night, but I don't understand why it's more important for him to know." I pull my hand back from her face and lean away. Folding my hands I place them on the pillow. I want to scoop it up and inhale his scent, but I manage to stop myself.

"Renesmee," Mom pauses briefly then moves her finger under my chin, pushing it up gently until I'm looking her in the eyes. "You have grown up so quickly and you are so smart, but right now, you need to shut off your brain and listen to your heart."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes. I try to cut out all other sounds except the thrumming in my chest. I feel her take my hand from the pillow and press it against her face.

What is so different about Jacob that he needs to know about my leaving first? He's my best friend, but I know that isn't what Mom is talking about. She's getting at something that goes beyond our friendship, into the deepest part of my heart. What does she know that she's not telling me?

"Consider this," Mom whispers to me, "why are you holding on to that pillow for dear life? Why was it so important for you to know if he really stayed here last night?"

Her words make my heart stop for the briefest of seconds then start up again at double time. In those rapid beats, the answer to her questions is obvious, yet so scary I can't consider it right now. The only response I can give her is something she already knows, "I like him. He's- important to me."

"Is there anything else?" she asks softly.

I know what she is getting at, but I can't say it, I can't even put the thought in her mind. I can't even really think it myself, because it hurts too much to admit it and risk that it not be returned. Or, worse, if I admit it and he imprints on someone else. I don't know if I could survive watching him with someone else.

Mom sighs softly, "It's ok if you aren't ready to say it." She chuckles softly, "Call me selfish, but I'm kind of glad you aren't."

My eyes open at this admission but I don't have the nerve to ask her what she means by that comment. She brushes my hair back from my face then gives me a smile. "The why has just as much to do with you as it does him. He's your best friend and has been since the day you were born. At the very least, that is enough of a reason why it is so important that he be told. How would you feel if you were the last to know he was leaving?"

My stomach drops and I feel sick inside. I hadn't thought of it that way. I was so focused on some hidden meaning behind the insistence that I let him know; the hidden meaning my heart is dying to reveal, but can't put into words.

The truth is, I would be devastated if I found out Jacob was leaving, but it would hurt much more if I was the last to know. Nodding at her, I rest my hand against her cheek again. "I get it, thank you."

"Of course. Now what do you say we go pay your Grandpa Charlie a visit? He's getting cranky, says he hasn't seen us in 'forever'." I'd love to see my grandpa and nod enthusiastically. She smiles at me and stands up. As she approaches the door, she turns back around, "Your father knows Jacob was in your room last night, but he doesn't know about him being in your bed. I'd recommend we not mention that part to him. I'll try to keep him out of here for a few days so he doesn't catch Jacob's scent on the bed, but you might want to keep your door closed."

I gasp, understanding what she means. Not only will my mother protect my mind, but she is willing to help me keep this secret from my father. This is huge. My parents are always honest and open with one another. I'm so surprised that I can only nod at her, but that's all she needs as she smiles brightly at me.

"Good. Now, if you want that horrible scent to linger, I'd recommend putting the pillow under your sheets. Meet you in the garage in twenty minutes." Mom wrinkles her nose as she turns to walk though the door.

As she leaves the room, I can't help smiling. I love my mother. I know she's been around Jacob long enough that the scent doesn't bother her, but she still acts repulsed. Even if Jacob does still have feelings for her, I know without a shadow of a doubt that those feelings are not returned. She sees him as just a friend.

As she suggested, I lift the covers and place the pillow safely beneath them. I wouldn't mind a shower but when I smell just the slightest hint of Jacob in my hair, I decide against it. I dress quickly, managing to beat Mom to the garage. She gives me a quick hug then we are on our way.

-0-

Grandpa Charlie's front door bursts open as Mom and I climb out of the car. He is wearing his usual non-workday attire of a flannel and jeans as well as a big grin as he motions for us impatiently. When he pulls me into his arms I giggle and cuddle into his chest. I take a deep breath, enjoying his familiar scent of peppermint and leather. He told me once that the peppermint is for his heartburn and the leather is from the belt Mom gave him one year for Christmas. The scent comforts me immediately.

"Come on you two, get in here." Mom and I follow him into the living room of the little house. I love coming here, not only because of Grandpa, but because this place is so tied to Mom. Being here, it is easy to think of my mother as still human. There are pictures of her everywhere, at all stages of her life; from a smiling happy baby to her wedding day. There are a few pictures of her after her transformation, but not as many.

According to Mom, the house hasn't changed since she was born. I know from her stories that this was a point of frustration for Renee, but to me, I love the familiarity of it. This place is comforting and homey.

I'm suddenly hit with a little pang of regret. Soon enough I won't be able to drop in to visit. I will be hours away from Grandpa Charlie. One more person I love that I'll be walking away from, that I'll have to say goodbye to in a few weeks. I don't like this thought at all.

I attempt to clear my face of any emotion as Mom disappears into the kitchen. I watch as Grandpa Charlie leans back in his favorite chair, settling in with his "Vitamin R" in hand. The TV is on but the volume is low, barely broadcasting a sports commentator's voice. He grins at me as I tuck my legs under me; there has always been an easiness between Grandpa and I. He's so quiet and unassuming that I feel comfortable sitting in silence with him. I'm thankful that he's nearby and I am able to use this place as my escape some days. I'm truly going to miss him when I leave.

Abruptly, he surprises me by breaking the silence, "Tonight's the bonfire down at the Reservation."

I'm too surprised by his sudden statement to comment. Mom walks back into the room before the silence gets weird. She has two plates in her hands, both filled with a huge sandwich and chips.

Grandpa grins up at her as he takes his plate, "Thanks kid." She looks happy as she settles down on the couch next to me. I take my plate in thanks and the three of us sit quietly while Grandpa and I eat. He moans happily through the first few bites and I notice Mom smiling with pride. I know she was the cook when she moved back to Forks and Grandpa enjoyed her food. She is just a natural when it comes to taking care of her family. Even with me, though I prefer blood over human food, I like her cooking because I know she enjoys preparing it for me. I love watching her twirl around the kitchen at home, humming as she makes something just for me. For that reason alone, the food tastes better than any animal blood I could ever have. And most human blood. Except maybe Jacob's.

Not wanting to think about Jacob right now, I force myself to concentrate on my sandwich. I manage to get through the food before Grandpa brings up the bonfire again. This time he asks me if I'm going tonight. This reminds me of what Seth mentioned the other night. Suddenly, I'm smiling as I turn to Grandpa, "Of course I am. You are as well, yes? I believe you'll be attending with Sue Clearwater? As her date?"

Never in all my life have I seen Grandpa Charlie get embarrassed about anything. I could swear he is blushing slightly when Mom turns to look at him expectantly. "Are you, Dad? That's a new development."

Mom's teasing is waved off with a flick of Grandpa's hand but she doesn't let it go just yet. "Took you long enough." Her words are spoken in a playful tone and the smile on her face is as genuine as I've ever seen it. I know Mom is a huge supporter of Grandpa having a personal life. My family has always held a high opinion of Sue. I can tell Mom is beyond happy about this news.

"Bells, it's not a big deal." Grandpa shrugs, but the small smile on his face gives him away. Mom starts giggling, but he ignores her, continuing on. "I figured I'd just see what all the hubbub was about. Nessie seems to enjoy attending the bonfires."

Barely containing my own laughter, I grin at him, knowing he's trying to turn the focus to me. Grandpa and Mom have that in common, neither likes to be the center of attention. Understanding how he feels, I attempt to back him up, "They are fun and the legends are fascinating. I think you'll enjoy yourself, and I bet Sue will be thrilled to have someone other than us kids to keep her company." I glance at him but I can see Mom's shoulders still shaking with the laughter she's managed to contain until now. Grandpa doesn't notice but he does seem satisfied that the subject is now somewhat directed away from him.

"Will I have to fight Jake for your attention tonight?"

His says this with a laugh, but his question makes me tense up immediately; I feel my hands starting to sweat and I'm biting my lip. I'm nervous about seeing Jacob. I don't know how to answer Grandpa's question. It feels like an eternity since I talked to Jacob, even though it was just last night. My entire world seems to have tilted in a whole different direction. Now I'm anxious to send him a text, but I'm blanking on what I would say to him. It also worries me that he hasn't reached out to me yet. Normally we've at least exchanged a few text messages by this time of the day. We've never gone this long without contact. It feels wrong; like a part of me is missing.

I can hear Mom talking to Grandpa, taking his focus off of me while I calm myself down. I take a couple of deep breaths, reminding myself that Jacob has other responsibilities. I'm not his sole focus in life. Just because we haven't talked doesn't mean things will be awkward between us tonight. Once I'm calm again, I manage to catch what Mom is saying.

"It's a great honor for you to be invited, Dad. Very few people outside of the tribe have been given the opportunity. As far as I know, the only non-tribe members to be invited to the bonfire are in this room."

"And Lillah." I pipe up, remembering that first bonfire when she joined us. She was so nervous, but she fit in right away.

Mom shakes her head a little, turning to me, "She was a tribe member the minute Embry impr- saw her." Mom manages to cover up the "imprinting" part of the story. Grandpa still has a very strict policy about us only telling him what is absolutely necessary. "Besides, didn't you say she's related to Quil somehow?" When I nod, Mom grins at me, "Then she was already part of the tribe."

Knowing she's right, I turn back to Grandpa. "So is this a real date with Sue? Are you picking her up at her house and everything?" I can't help myself and tease him just a little, "Will you bring her flowers?"

Mom starts laughing beside me. Grandpa ignores her and responds directly to me, "It's nothing like that. I'm meeting her there. I was actually going to see if you'd like to ride over with me." He lifts an eyebrow in question.

"Definitely!" I grin up at him, looking forward to the extra time to enjoy his company. Pulling out my cell phone I use the excuse of Grandpa giving me a ride to send Jacob a text. Jacob normally picks me up for bonfires but now that I think about it, I'm honestly a little relieved to ride with Grandpa. I really don't know what I would say to Jacob tonight if he picked me up. Hey good to see you, by the way, noticed you slept in my bed. Plan on doing that again any time soon? Oh yeah, and why did you sleep in my bed?

Seconds after I hit send, my phone begins to ring and I'm surprised to see it's Jacob. My heart flutters a little as I give myself a quick pep-talk. This should not be awkward. I should not be shy. It's Jacob. My Jake.

It doesn't help. All of these new feelings and worries have me tied in knots. However, as nervous as I am, I still want to hear his voice. I press the button to connect the call. I don't know what I was expecting to hear in Jacob's voice, but I'm taken aback when I hear a touch of worry, "Is everything ok?"

I can't really tell Jacob the truth; that I want to spend a bit of time with Grandpa Charlie because I'll be leaving soon. Especially since neither of them knows I'm leaving. I also can't mention I'm relieved by Grandpa's offer since I'm nervous to be around Jacob now. Instead, I tell him the first thing that pops into my head. "Everything is fine, just Grandpa Charlie offered to give me a ride." I know my tone is kind of nervous, I can only hope Jacob doesn't notice.

He pauses longer than really necessary and I feel myself tense up again. I know I need to tell him I'm going away to school but now isn't the time. "Ok, just making sure. I'll see you tonight." His words are clipped and I barely get out of a "Yep!" before he disconnects us.

I frown down at my phone as Mom reaches over and places her hand on mine. When I look up, she and Grandpa Charlie are both watching me closely with similar looks of concern on their faces. I'm not sure what to say to them; instead I give them what I hope is a reassuring smile. Needing just a few minutes of quiet to myself, I grab our empty plates and head for the kitchen.

Turning on the faucet, I focus all my attention on washing the two plates. By the time I've dried and put them away I'm a little calmer, but still nervous for tonight after that phone call.

Pulling myself together, I return to the living room. Mom stands as soon as I enter, pointing out the time. Before we leave, Grandpa gives me a quick hug, "I'll see you in a little bit. Go get even more beautiful for our date."

I'm laughing as Mom and I leave Grandpa's. She's quiet as we drive, leaving me to my thoughts. As we make our way to the cottage, I decide I want to try something different tonight. When we walk in, I share the idea with Mom. She gives me a huge grin, "I think it will be lovely. Do you want help?"

After I shower Mom works on my hair while I play with a little makeup. She rolls her eyes at me when I apply some tinted moisturizer, but I need it to help hide how pink my cheeks are normally. I ignore her, adding a little eyeshadow and mascara to complete my look. Dad walks in just as Mom is finishing up my hair. I just see his look of surprise out of the corner of my eye.

"Wow," is all he says.

Mom winks at me in the mirror, "He's had over a hundred years to study different languages and all he can say is 'wow'. Men."

Before either can say any more, Mom kisses the top of my head and walks out of the bathroom, grabbing Dad's hand on her way out. He speaks as he turns away, "Charlie is here when you are ready."

Glancing at the clock in my bedroom, I realize my preparations took longer than I thought. I quickly pull on my clothes and grab my shoes and messenger bag. I'm careful to make sure I close my bedroom door behind me so Dad doesn't realize Jacob's smell is concentrated on the bed.

I follow the sound of voices to find Mom, Dad and Grandpa standing in the living room, talking softly. Dad pulls me into an embrace when I walk into the living room, whispering just for me to hear, "You look great, just different. I'm not ready for you to look so grown up."

Dad rejoins the conversation, discussing what he knows about the bonfire. As they are talking, I blink a few times to stop any tears from falling at Dad's words. Once I've composed myself, I ask Grandpa Charlie if he's ready. His smile of excitement is infectious and I'm once again eager for the evening to begin. I look forward to these monthly bonfires and I can't wait to share it with my grandfather. When I start to pull away so Grandpa and I can leave, Dad kisses me on my temple and squeezes me gently. "Have fun. I love you."

Pressing my hand to his face, I return his love. I give Mom a quick hug, thanking her via my gift. She squeezes my hand, "You are more than welcome. Have a good time tonight. Keep an eye on Grandpa, he's a wild man."

Grandpa winks at Mom then takes my hand, leading me to his cruiser.

-0-

Sue is beside the cruiser as soon as Grandpa stops the car. When a giggle escapes, Grandpa glances over at me, "Hey now." He pauses then points toward my window, "You're one to talk."

I turn my head just as the door is opened for me. I don't have to see his face to know it's Jacob. His hand reaches in for me, and I take it, letting him lead me out of the car. I'm barely standing when he wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight to his chest, his face against my neck. When his scent wraps around me I remember the pillow that smells like him. I don't dare ask him about spending the night but I find myself wishing he would broach the subject. If he wanted me to know he was there, he'd mention it.

"Sorry about earlier. You just worried me. I thought you were upset about-," Jacob stops speaking abruptly, but since I can't see his face, I don't understand why he stopped.

Now I'm the one that's worried. When he loosens his grip, I move my hand to his face to ask, "Upset? About what?"

"Nothing." Jacob drops the subject, as well as his arms from around me. I feel a little off balance without him steadying me but manage not to sway. When he takes a step back, I'm barely able to register how upset he looks when his face changes to total shock. "What did you do to your hair?"

My hand automatically moves up to the top of my head. Frowning, I can't quite look him in the eye, "You don't like it?" My eyes rest on his chin.

"That's not- I don't-." When Jacob stops, I'm barely holding back my tears. Because it takes so long, I typically don't bother straightening my hair, but I wanted to try something different. With the curls pulled straight my hair now hits below the middle of my back. As much as I love my ringlet curls, they make me feel like a baby. Plus, it's nice to be able to run my fingers through it unhindered while it's silky smooth.

"I like it, Ness. It's just- different."

"Oh." I can't say anything more but I feel my face heat up as he stares at me.

He reaches out tentatively, his finger just barely touching my hair. My heart leaps, hoping he will do more; run his fingers through it, twist some around his finger, or even just tuck it behind my ear. He does none of these, instead stepping back away from me. He looks serious again, narrowing his eyes when they meet mine, "It isn't permanent, is it?"

"No, my hair will be curly again when I wash it." I'm a little irritated with myself; I don't like feeling hurt just because he might not like how I look. I'm even more irritated by his reaction; he's acting like I did something drastic instead of just taking a flat iron to my curls. I'm not use to either of us having such a strong reaction over something as simple as hair. It's bizarre.

"Good. I like your hair curly. This is nice too, but," he pauses, twisting his head to the side, "different. Very different."

He starts walking and I fall into step beside him. "Bad different?" I ask aloud. I want to kick myself for caring, but I need to know.

"No! Definitely not bad." He glances over at me and smiles in that way that makes my stomach do a little flip.

Before I can ask anything else, Rachel and Emily step in front of Jacob and I.

"Sorry Jacob, but Lillah wants to see Ness." Emily takes my hand and starts to lead me away.

I can hear Jacob huffing behind me before Rachel speaks to him, "Don't puff your chest out at me, little brother. We'll give her back to you soon enough."

Rachel joins Emily and I, linking her arm in mine. I peek over my shoulder and I can see Jacob standing in the spot where he stopped. With his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes locked on me, he takes my breath away. Wow he's hot when he looks angry. I want to run back to him, but Emily and Rachel have a tight grip on me.

"Come on, we won't keep you from him for long. Lillah just wants to see you." Emily pats my hand to get my attention and I force myself to turn away from him. Hearing Lillah's name helps, because I really do want to see her.

Emily and Rachel lead me to the picnic tables. Embry is towering over the small group huddled together. When we approach, Embry leans back to reveal Lillah sitting in a chair in front of him with her feet propped up on the bench of a picnic table.

"Oh my gosh! Ness! Look at your hair, you look so cute!" When Lillah reaches her arms out, Emily and Rachel drop their hold on me. I move swiftly to Lillah's side, hugging her as tight as possible.

Just as I start to pull back, she gasps. "What?" Embry and I both say at the same time.

I kneel beside her and I can easily see her taking deep breaths. After a moment she waves her hand at both of us, "It was nothing, just a kick in the kidney."

"Are you sure? Kim, should we take her to the hospital? I knew we shouldn't have come out here." I almost want to laugh watching Embry flip out. As funny as it is though, I know he's genuinely worried about his wife. I know enough about imprinting to understand that if anything were to happen to Lillah, Embry would be lost.

Lillah is trying to reassure him that she is fine when Sam approaches the group. "Embry, come on, the girls can watch her. Emily or Kim will let you know if she needs anything."

It takes some squabbling back and forth before Embry reluctantly walks away with Sam. "Finally," Rachel huffs, "I thought he'd never leave!"

Emily kneels on the other side of Lillah, rolling her eyes at Rachel before taking Lillah's hand. Now that Embry is gone, I can look around at the girls. Kim is holding Connor tight to her chest while Rachel sits on the bench next to Lillah's feet. Even Claire comes dancing over to me, giving me a hug before she sits beside me on the ground.

"Any specific reason for the new hair style?" Lillah asks, wiggling her eyebrows at me.

"Not really," I answer, though I can't quite look her in the eye. She knows me too well.

Rachel laughing grabs my attention, "Well, if you did it for my brother, it's working. He can't keep his eyes off you."

My head jerks up and I easily find Jacob standing beside Embry. They are both looking this way, though it's obvious that Embry's eyes are locked on Lillah. Jacob, however, is staring right at me. When our eyes meet, he gives me a soft smile that gets my heart beating faster. Our eye contact is only broken when he suddenly turns his head, like someone called his name from the other side of the beach. He twists back to give me a small wave then runs off across the sand.

"Oh yeah, you definitely got his attention," Lillah giggles next to me. I don't comment, and thankfully the girls start discussing other topics. I join in every now and then, but for the most part I just sit back and listen. I love times like these. They are all so open and welcoming, making me feel like I belong with them.

Before long the guys rejoin us, bringing plates of food. Emily and Claire move to another table to sit with Sam, Eli, and Quil. I wave at Grandpa as I see him sit down next to Sue. I can see Seth sitting on the other side of her, but his back is to me. This is the first time I've seen him since the disastrous conversation we had yesterday. I want to apologize to him for how I acted, but just as I'm considering heading over to talk to him my hand is enveloped in Jacob's large one and he pulls me to my feet.

"Come on, I need your help with the plates," Jacob grins at me. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my heart before smiling back at him. Then I'm being pulled over to the food.

He hands me three plates to hold while he starts putting food on two of them. "Charlie seems to be having a good time."

When I glance over my shoulder at Grandpa, I can see he and Sue are leaning close to one another, like they are having a private conversation. I turn back to Jacob, smiling, "Yeah. It's nice to have him here."

"Do you mind sitting with him during the actual bonfire?" Jacob takes the two plates of food from my hand before loading me down with three bottles of water.

"That's fine, but where will you be?" I follow him back to the table. He sets a plate and water down in front of Billy before taking the empty plate from me. He goes back to the food table and piles the plate high before returning quickly to my side. Once I sit on the bench, he climbs in beside me.

"After Old Quil passed, Dad asked me to take his spot on the council." I nod my head in understanding, but my mind blanks when I feel his leg brush against mine. The heat coming off of him draws me in and I lose focus on what he's saying. I reach down to pinch my leg, trying to wake myself up, but jerk back when I hear Jacob shout, "What the hell?"

I follow his eyes and I'm shocked to see the tan skin of his thigh between my thumb and forefinger. Gasping, I release him, mumbling, "Sorry, sorry Jake!"

Looking up, I realize everyone is looking at us. Thankfully, Jacob covers for my embarrassing display, "I'm fine, just a mosquito I think. Damn vampire bugs."

There are a few chuckles before the group returns to their conversations. Jacob settles down again then whispers for me, "What was that for?"

I'm so embarrassed I can't even begin to consider speaking. Pressing my hand against his face I do my best to explain and apologize. I skip over the part where I was distracted by him being so close. Even just thinking about it, I can feel my cheeks heating up with my blush. I'm sure the pink of my cheeks is easily visible even through my makeup now.

When I'm done Jacob nods then chuckles, "You know you don't have to pinch me to get my attention, right?"

"Jake, that's not-," I hide my face, twisting toward where Lillah and Kim sit instead.

Lillah grins and winks at me just as Embry sits down with their food. She takes her plate from him then returns to her conversation with Kim. I'm fascinated watching Embry and Jared with Lillah and Kim. Embry anxiously watches over his extremely pregnant wife while Jared's eyes don't leave his wife holding his son in her arms. While my two friends talk about adjusting to life with a newborn, both of the men hover over them. Jared takes Connor from Kim as soon as she's done feeding him. He holds the tiny infant in his arms as he leans over Kim, making sure she eats. Neither Jared nor Embry are worried about themselves, but rather their wives and children.

I suddenly wish I had my sketch book with me. I try to commit this image to memory, wanting desperately to draw it out. The love and devotion of these guys is amazing to watch.

The skin on my knee being pinched grabs my attention. Whipping around I see Jacob has a huge grin on his face, "Thought that would do the trick." His hand slowly retreats from my knee, but I feel his fingers brush my thigh briefly. My stomach drops but I do my best to ignore the sensation. I'm sure it wasn't intentional.

He clears his throat then glances down at my plate, "Aren't you hungry?"

"Not really," while it isn't a complete lie, I can't imagine eating with my stomach twisted up like it is right now. "I had a big lunch at Grandpa's."

Jacob's eyes look over my face, taking inventory. "I think we need to go hunting tomorrow. You've looked paler than normal lately."

My hand brushes his face, explaining that I'm fine. He shakes his head though, "I don't think so, Ness. Your cheeks haven't been as pink lately. I think you need to hunt."

Biting my lip, I exhale slowly as I explain to him about the makeup. I'm shocked to hear him growl out, "Why would you want to do that?"

When I start to pull away from him in surprise, he grabs my hand and presses it back to his cheek. He speaks softly now, "I'm sorry, it's just- I don't understand why you want to look so different. The straight hair, the makeup; what's going on?"

I take a deep breath then push the only explanation I can come up with into his mind. "I'm not a child anymore, Jake. I'm tired of looking like a little girl."

"Trust me, I know you aren't a child, Ness." Jacob takes a deep breath like he wants to say more, but then shakes his head. He slowly releases my hand, placing it back on the table. He then leans over, "Eat a few bites, for me." These guys and food.

I don't press him, even though I want to. I stab my fork into a slice of watermelon, watching in satisfaction as red juices escape the fruit. As I place the bright red bite into my mouth, Rachel and Paul stand up, requesting everyones attention.

When the beach is silent Rachel smiles and leans her head against Paul's arm. Paul's hand reaches out to hold Rachel against him as he speaks, "Sorry to interrupt but we wanted to share the news with all our family and friends at once." Paul pauses for just a second, glancing down at Rachel as he speaks, "Rachel's pregnant. We're going to have a baby."

The entire beach goes crazy. There are screams of excitement and cheering. Most of the women rush up to Rachel, hugging her. Quil makes a joke about it being an epidemic and Jacob stands to shake Paul's hand. The one person that doesn't look excited by this news is Leah. She stands from the table she was sitting at with Sue and Seth. As she runs past Jacob and I, I'm just barely able to hear her words for Jacob. "I'm going to patrol. I can't be around this."

I don't need to see her face to know she's upset. Glancing up at Jacob, he looks upset too. Disappointed almost. He calls after her, "Leah, please don't go."

I hold my breath, expecting him to run after her. He looks conflicted, like he's not sure what to do. This is surprising, because Jacob always seems sure of what he is doing. When he turns back to me and doesn't take off, I slowly exhale. Maybe there isn't anything going on between them, like Seth said. Or maybe he knows her well enough not to follow her right now. Either way, I'm going to take this victory of him choosing to stay with me.

I see Lillah move to get up just as Rachel breaks the hug Sue is giving her. Rachel runs over to stop her. My two friends are both laughing through their tears as they hug each other tightly. "Don't you dare get up! Embry will kill me and I worked too hard to get pregnant to die now."

I can't understand what Lillah and Rachel say to one another after that, but they both seem excited about the news. When they finally break apart, I walk over to Rachel. "Congratulations!"

Paul comes up behind Rachel just as I feel one of Jacob's hands on my shoulder. When I drop my arms from around her, Jacob reaches out and hugs Rachel, smiling, "Congrats sis. Glad to hear it finally worked out."

She is positively beaming. "Thanks. Sorry I didn't tell you sooner, we've been waiting to make sure the pregnancy takes."

Lillah jumps in the conversation at this statement, "Wait! How far along are you, Rachel?"

"Three months yesterday. We couldn't wait much longer, none of my pants fit and even my dresses are getting a little snug."

Lillah's eyebrows lower slightly and she glances over at Embry. He shrugs at her and she turns back to Rachel, "We need to talk later. You're welcome to any of my clothes that fit."

"Mine too," Kim jumps in.

Emily laughs as she joins the group, "And mine, if they aren't too out of style. At this rate we'll be able to open a maternity consignment shop."

Rachel hugs all the girls then moves over to Billy. She and Paul talk with him for a few minutes. Since they are distracted I turn around to Jacob. Pressing my hand to his face, I ask a very private question, "Did you know they were having problems getting pregnant?"

He nods but doesn't say any more. I press harder against his face, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to worry you, plus, there wasn't really anything to share," he frowns. I can tell there is more he isn't telling me, but I'm guessing it's private. I decide not to push any further.

Billy clears his throat. When Jacob looks up at him, he tilts his head toward the bonfire. Jacob nods then turns back to me. "Come on, I'll take you over to the blanket I set up for you and Charlie."

Sue and Grandpa follow Jacob and I over to a blanket directly in front of the area where the tribe elders sit. This is the first time in all the years I've been coming to the bonfires that Jacob hasn't been out in the audience with me. I'm suddenly very glad Grandpa is here, otherwise I'd be sitting on this blanket all alone.

I'm just about to get settled when Jacob pulls me into a quick hug. His head drops next to my ear and I'm just barely able to hear what he says. "Seriously, be glad you are not seeing this."

He has my hands pinned, so my only option is to lean my mouth as close to his ear as possible. "What?"

"Charlie making out with Sue," he says.

I push out of his arms with all my might, just in time to see my grandfather drop a chaste kiss on Sue's cheek. Sue smiles sweetly at Grandpa and I, waving as she walks away.

Turning back to Jacob I narrow my eyes at him and swat at his chest, "You are such a liar."

"I am not!" Jacob is laughing now, which just infuriates me more.

While I don't quite slap him, my hand lands hard against his cheek. I show him the memory of Grandpa kissing Sue's cheek, followed by the thought, "I hope that isn't what you consider making out." The thoughts are out before I consider what I'm saying. "And I thought my father was uptight."

Jacob pulls my hand from his face just as I hear a low growl escape from him. He leans forward, his nose touching mine as he looks me straight in the eye. "Definitely not. I'm not uptight, especially in that department, and I am nothing like your father."

Before I can say anything else, he turns around and walks away from me. I stand there, watching him join Billy and Sue, completely shocked. I've never seen Jacob bristle like that before.

"Nessie, we probably need to sit down. Billy's about to start." Grandpa grabs my hand and pulls me back to sit on the blanket. For once, I don't pay attention to the stories told. I keep my eyes on Grandpa, unable to look up at the group Jacob is seated with. If I were to look up, I would automatically search him out. I can feel his stare locked on me. The one time I look at him it sends a shiver up my spine and I have to jerk my eyes back down, but the image of Jacob looking authoritative and incredibly beautiful is burned in my mind.

To keep myself distracted I start looking around the circle of blankets and large pieces of drift wood. Seeing all of my friends look so happy helps to ease my tension. It's not until my eyes land on Seth that I realize I never did get to apologize to him. I'm relieved to see him give me a huge smile.

I wave, but instead of smiling, I mouth out, "I'm sorry."

I'm not sure what response I expect from him, but I feel my whole body relax when he shrugs, smiles and mouths back, "No worries."

Knowing he isn't upset with me helps me to finally return his smile. Seth's eyes cut away from me for the briefest of seconds and I see his smile disappear. When his eyes catch mine again, he nods his head toward the bonfire. I turn to see what he's looking at and I'm shocked to find Jacob no longer looking at me, but glaring at Seth. The more of him I take in, the more I realize he is seriously angry about something. His hands are shaking and he is grinding his teeth.

I turn back to Seth to see what is going on but he's no longer looking this way. As I watch, my eyes darting between the two men, I see Seth shrug at Jacob. This doesn't seem to make Jacob any happier, but he stops looking at Seth. However, the moment of relief I feel from the tense look being broken between them vanishes when Jacob's eyes lock with mine.

I almost gasp from the intensity of his stare but I can't make my throat work. I'm barely able to breathe, taking short gulps of air in through my mouth. I can feel my heart shaking my chest it's beating so fast. I have no control over my body, I'm now completely at the mercy of Jacob and what he's doing to me with his eyes.

Jacob does not break his eye contact with me until Sue steps in front of him after Billy finishes up. I finally manage to take a few deep breaths and slow my heart down just as Grandpa stands up from the blanket.

"Those were some fantastic stories. No wonder you like coming here so much." He reaches out a hand to help me stand. I take it, but he gives me a weird look when I'm back on my feet. "You ok, Nessie?"

"I'm fine, Grandpa, just tired." Which is the truth; I feel like I just ran ten marathons, in a row.

"In that case, how about I take you home?" I nod my head in agreement, suddenly very eager to get home. I want to be somewhere comfortable after this evening. "I'm just going to tell Sue goodnight."

Grandpa Charlie walks away, leaving me standing on the blanket. I lean over to grab my messenger bag but I see a shadow approaching as I stand back up. I'm not surprised when I see Jacob standing beside me. "Do you need a ride home?" His voice is rougher sounding than normal.

I shake my head in the negative, "Grandpa offered to give me a ride home." I pause, but go ahead and ask the question any way, "Will I see you later?"

He doesn't respond right away and I can't read his face. His hands are still shaking like he's barely keeping himself from phasing, which doesn't make sense to me. What was going on between him and Seth that has upset him so much? Before I can build up the courage to ask him, he nods in response to my last question, "Yeah, I've got some stuff to wrap up here, but I'll be over in a little while."

Without another word, he pulls me into his arms. My arms are pinned to his chest but I don't mind, this is my favorite kind of hug from Jacob. Both of his arms have me locked tight against him and I feel his head lower down over mine. I wonder for the briefest of seconds if this is how he held me last night, but I don't stop to consider any further. Instead, I just enjoy the feeling of being protected by him.

When Jacob reluctantly releases me, I slowly take a step back. I give my farewells to the group, telling Lillah to let me know if anything happens, even if it's the middle of the night. She laughs but promises I'll be amongst the first to know.

Grandpa takes me home, but only unlocks the car doors when I promise to stop by for lunch with him this week. I give him a quick kiss on his cheek then slide out of the car. Waving at him one last time, I head for the cottage as soon as I see the cruiser disappear around the corner.

Mom and Dad are surprised to see me home so early, but I explain about Jacob's new responsibilities since Old Quil passed. They both still give me a look, but let me go without comment. It's a huge relief when I'm in my bedroom a few minutes later.

I stand in the middle of my room, trying to decide what to do next. When I see my reflection in the mirror, I barely recognize myself with straight hair. After Jacob's reaction earlier, I decide to go ahead and take a quick shower. I want to be irritated that I'm going back to my natural curls just because he apparently prefers them, but I can't be. I want Jacob to find me attractive, and if the curls accomplish that, then I'm willing to change back.

I want to take my time in the shower, but I'm anxious to see Jacob again. Once I'm in my room and dressed in my favorite pajamas, I send Jacob a quick text.

I'm home. See you soon? ~N

I set the phone on the table beside my bed and pull out my sketch pad. Once I get settled, I find myself consumed with the strokes my pencil is making. Usually when I start a new drawing I just let my hand move along the paper, not really having a plan for what I'm creating. This time I know what I want to draw; the scene from the beach, Embry standing protectively by Lillah and Jared hovering over Kim and baby Connor. I pause when I realize I'm almost halfway through the preliminary sketch and I still haven't heard from Jacob. I double check my phone, but there's nothing.

Now that I've stopped drawing, the exhaustion hits me again. Maybe he just got dragged into some wolf business and couldn't get free. Then again, given how upset he looked earlier, maybe he's just avoiding me. Maybe he went after Leah. Or he's celebrating with Rachel and Paul. That is just a whole lot of maybes.

Not wanting to consider all the possibilities, I go ahead and turn off my light. Sliding under the covers, I put my back to the side of the bed that Jacob slept on last night. I'm dying to grab the pillow from under the blankets, to check if it still smells like him, but I don't. Instead, I close my eyes. Even though tonight I couldn't tell him about leaving for college, I know I have to start breaking away from him. It looks like this will be a first step, unfortunately, Jacob is the one taking it.

The last thing I remember is making a promise to myself that I will tell him about school tomorrow; I can't wait any longer.

-0-

It feels like I've just closed my eyes when I hear movement in the house and outside. Something is going on. I can't figure out if it is a dream or real until I distinctly hear Jacob. I sit up straight as soon as I hear him shouting. Straining my ears, I do my best to make sure I hear every word Jacob says.

"How dare you take her away from me before I can even tell her? We had a fucking deal. A deal you forced me into, you son of a-."

-0-

A/N: What? WE KNOW. WE. KNOW. Don't hate us for the cliffy. You just need to see what happened from Jacob's POV. REMEMBER, if you have private messages disabled, we can't reply to your review. Thanks to MoreThanHuman and DailyiCandy for their skillz. We post teasers on stupidleeches dot com. Check that out. See you in two weeks!