Drawing A Blank
After my rant in the rec room earlier in the day, I decided that no one in this asylum could be trusted. Not even yourself. I closed my eyes and contemplated how true that actually was. If I couldn't trust myself, I definitely couldn't trust any of the other psychos in this place, especially after my chat with Roman. He's going to want nothing to do with me now, because I know he's never going to talk to me about whatever it is the two of us have in terms of a relationship. And that's okay, because you don't need him.
I'd like to believe I could at least trust Eddie, but I knew if push came to shove he'd throw me under the bus to save himself. He was a true narcissist and that wouldn't change just because of some teenager he barely knew. I figured if I spoke to anyone in the asylum though, I would talk to him. If he even wants to speak to you after Roman talks to him. He'll turn him against you. I hoped that wasn't true, but some part of me knew it was very likely to happen. Harley and Ivy were okay if it didn't involve anything serious. If something happened where we had to pick sides or help each other, I know Harley would sacrifice me immediately and I doubt Ivy ever needed help from anyone. I wasn't really sure how dangerous she was, but I had heard she could take care of herself pretty well. Those were the only people I knew in this place. Well, Two-Face, but I didn't know enough about him to really form an opinion. He thinks I'm pretty. Or he said that to try and schmooze you. For now, I'd stay away from him. Honestly, I should just stay away from everyone.
Jerry came to get me for dinner that night, but I didn't feel like seeing anyone right now, let alone Roman. I asked if I could just stay in my cell for the night, saying I didn't feel good. He said that was fine and told me to feel better. I guess I can't say I didn't only know inmates in this place. I think out of everyone, Jerry was probably the most deserving of my trust. Funny how things work out like that, isn't it?
So here I was, facing the wall next to my cot, drawing imaginary pictures on it with my finger and trying not to worry about how screwed I really was. It was actually quiet in the hall right now; everyone was at dinner for the hour. No one probably even notices you're gone. When I heard a set of footsteps coming down the hall, I assumed it was just a security guard cutting through or something-until the footsteps stopped in front of my cell. I sat up on my cot and felt the hairs stand up on the back of my neck.
"I was informed you weren't feeling well?" I don't know who I expected to be on the other side of the glass, but I didn't think it would be Strange. Does he live in this place?
"I'm fine. I just didn't feel up for dinner tonight." I tried to downplay it. If I had known acting sick would get me unwanted attention from Strange I just would've went to the damn dinner and suffered through the torture it surely would have been.
"I hope the other inmates haven't been bothering you?" He stepped closer to the glass now. I didn't like this. "I heard Mr. Sionis has been hanging around you again. That is unfortunate. I'll have a word with him during our session if you would like?" Why is he acting nice? I was suddenly feeling like a cornered dog in a cage. I didn't like this one bit. My heart rate was speeding up.
I realized he was waiting for my answer, "No that's alright. I can deal with him myself." I left it at that. Judging by the look on his face he didn't believe that for a second.
He shifted again, "I was just on my way to get your sleeping pills before leaving for the night. Perhaps you would like to take a walk with me to get them," He paused, pulling out the key, "if you feel up for it?"
No. No do not go with him. I had no choice, I could tell from the look on his face. So I just stood up. I did want something to help me sleep since I hadn't slept in over 24 hours now and it was beginning to wear on me. After my day, it would be a welcome relief actually.
He stepped aside to let me pass and began walking with me. I thought it was odd that there were no guards with him. Then again, he wasn't a small guy. I had heard rumors he was actually pretty muscular, not that I wanted to know how people knew that. We walked in silence, passing through the doors at the end of the hallway. We turned down hallway after hallway until we were in a part of the asylum I knew I had never seen. There were fewer doors around. We rounded another corner and I saw Lyle Bolton.
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You know how sometimes you'll sleep funny and before you're even really aware that you're awake, you know your neck and head are going to ache before you even move? I felt like that right now. I didn't want to move because of the anticipated pain. Where was I? Slowly, I opened both eyes and realized I was staring at the ceiling in my cell. Judging by the movement and talking around me, I could tell it was daytime. Looks like I finally got some sleep. That's weird though, I don't remember Strange actually giving me the pills, just saying he was going to take me there. I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes, which felt like they were stuffed with cotton. I was right, my head was killing me.
"Hey! You're awake!" Ugh, it was too early to hear Harley's voice. "You okay, kid?" I stood from my bed, slowly, and walked to the glass. She was standing against the side closest to my cell, looking at me. Bane wasn't in his cell and I couldn't see Roman in his either.
"Yeah, I'm fine Harley." My throat was scratchy, like after you go to a football game and scream so much you lose your voice. Weird. I blinked a few times, the light was hurting my eyes, "What time is it, Harley?" It didn't really register yet that I got more sleep last night than I had in a long time.
"Almost time for lunch." Lunch? I missed my appointment this morning? "Kid, where the hell did you go last night?"
I was having a hard time focusing on anything at the moment, but that caught my attention. "What do you mean?" I leant against the cool glass wall of my cell. The coolness felt good against my aching head.
Harley looked concerned. Or maybe that was just her face. She looked funny sometimes. "You were gone for hours! Bolton hauled ya back to your cell around 5 this morning. You were out cold though. Only reason I knew what was going on was cause Sionis was screamin somethin fierce at Bolton." I was gone until 5 o'clock this morning?! Where the hell was I?
I looked over and saw Harley was still staring at me, expecting me to say something, but at that moment a guard came in to get us for lunch. I couldn't even think. I tried so hard to remember what happened when Strange took me, but the last thing I remember was seeing Bolton at the end of a strange hallway. After that, my night was blank. What did they do to me? I felt sheer terror course through my body as the oblivious guard escorted Harley and I towards the cafeteria.
When we walked in Harley kind of awkwardly patted me on the back and went over towards the line. I didn't move. I couldn't move. Over twelve hours of my memory was just blank. I couldn't remember a single thing. I was still standing by the door, basically in a stupor, when a warm hand landed on my shoulder. I jerked away suddenly, as if it had stung me. I relaxed a little when I saw it was only Eddie. He looked concerned.
"Violet, where the hell were you last night?" I didn't answer him, because I didn't trust myself to talk without breaking down right now. I think he took the hint, so he kind of started herding me towards the line. "You look sickly. You'll feel better once you have some food in you. You didn't eat last night right?" He was basically having a one sided conversation with himself.
I still didn't speak as we moved through the line. I noticed I was getting some weird looks from the Category 9 patients. Harley must not have been the only one who heard Roman this morning. Eddie was guiding me over to an empty table when Roman walked through the doors. He started making his way to our table as soon as he spotted the two of us sitting there.
"Is she okay?" He asked Eddie, urgently.
"She hasn't spoken a word." Why didn't Roman just ask me if I was okay? Why'd he ask Eddie? Because you bitched him out yesterday and he doesn't want to talk to you.
"I'm going to get food so it doesn't look suspicious. Try and get her to talk." He threw me a weird glance before walking towards the line. I followed him with my eyes the entire time and as soon as he was in line he kept looking back at our table
"Violet?" Eddie was sitting on my left side. I turned to look at him. "You okay?" I don't even know. Probably not.
"I don't remember anything that happened last night." My throat was still scratchy. I decided I needed to take a drink, but realized I hadn't grabbed anything on my way to my seat. Before Eddie could stop me, I got up and made my way to the front of the cafeteria where they kept drinks in a reach-in cooler. I was almost there when I felt an arm snake around my waist.
"And where did you disappear to last night?" I turned around, recognizing that voice. Two-Face. "It was the talk of the hall." I stared into his half handsome, half gruesome face, without saying anything. I wasn't about to tell him I didn't remember anything. I honestly shouldn't have even let on to Harley that I had no idea where I had been taken. I looked behind him and saw Eddie coming my way while motioning towards Roman to stay where he was in line. Before he got close to us though, someone much scarier showed up.
Two-Face and I both turned our heads and saw my giant neighbor from across the hall standing there looking none too happy. Bane. "Maybe you should find a more convenient place to stand and talk." He looked at both of us, but his gaze landed on Two-Face. To his credit, I noticed he only tensed up the slightest bit under Bane's scrutinizing stare.
"We weren't talking." I said, craning my head to look up at him. It hurt though, so I just turned around and went to get my drink, intending to go back to my seat. Bane appeared behind me again and reached in to get a drink for himself. I moved over a little and saw that Two-Face had disappeared. He chose his fights wisely, at least. Bane looked at me, but didn't say anything. He turned and went off to wherever he was sitting.
I met Eddie halfway back to the table. He quickly said, "I would've gotten you a drink, what did they want?" I knew he meant Two-Face and Bane.
"Bane wanted a drink and Two-Face probably wanted to get Roman fired up again. I'm not sure." My throat felt a little better now that I had taken a few sips of my drink.
Eddie sighed and ushered me back to the table. At the very least, my little confrontation took my mind off of last night for a little while. And now you're thinking about it again. "I'm fine Eddie." He looked like he didn't believe that at all, "Really. I am." Just then Roman got there and before he even had a chance to ask I said, "Two-Face barely said anything. And it wasn't important anyway, so just let it go." I didn't want to really talk to him right now.
He looked like he wanted nothing more than to go and get in another fight with Two-Face right now, but he sat down anyway. "You're talking now." He glanced over at Eddie, who was on the other side of me. "We need to talk when we get to the rec room. Too many people could be listening in here." I understood where he could get that idea, but I really didn't want to "talk" to him, regardless of where we were. Just because I was abducted didn't mean this changed anything. So, I just nodded my head and started eating.
I felt like I wanted to cry in all honesty, but under the table, I felt Roman's warm hand come to rest on my knee and immediately felt better. You're a lost cause.
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"You don't remember anything?" Roman asked for at least the third time. We were back in our dark spot between the bookshelves. Eddie was standing guard at the end of the isle, which was a joke in itself because I doubted he could stop anyone, but there were a good bit of people in the rec room today. Much to Roman's dismay, Two-Face was one of them. Ivy and Harley were in here too, but they were over by the windows talking to each other.
"No. I told you, I remember going with Strange to get "sleeping pills" and the last thing I saw was Bolton standing at the end of some hallway." I was honestly just getting upset. Roman was making me feel bad that I couldn't remember anything like it was my fault I basically got kidnapped for the night. I didn't even want to be standing in this damn isle talking to him again. I wasn't doing a very good job at staying away from him, but what happened last night scared me. It made me realize how badly things could have been had no one cared that I disappeared for over twelve hours. I may be in over my head going at this alone. Tread lightly around him.
He swore under his breath and shook his head, "This isn't good, Violet. This really isn't good." No kidding, genius. "Is this the first time you've had memory loss since being here?" Memory loss? I assumed I was just passed out that long. I hadn't really thought of the possibility that I just couldn't plain remember anything.
"What makes you think I wasn't unconscious that whole time?" I was really confused now.
He quickly said, "You don't remember Bolton dragging you down the hall at the ass crack of dawn this morning?" At my blank look he continued, "You were awake, Violet. You looked pretty shaken up too." He hesitated for a moment, "And you looked like you were talking to yourself." I definitely didn't remember any of that.
"I told you, I don't remember anything between dinner last night and like 11 this morning." I wanted to cry, but that wouldn't solve anything. "Why were you even up that early anyway?" I hadn't really thought about that earlier. I was too shocked at the fact I couldn't remember anything.
He didn't answer at first. I thought he wasn't going to but then he explained, "I realized you weren't in your cell last night and when you weren't coming back, I decided to just wait and see when you'd be back." Yet another thing people who don't care wouldn't do. Don't fall for that. You aren't that dumb. "I knew something was wrong when you weren't back by midnight. So I just stayed up and waited." He stayed up all night waiting to see where I was. Why? He's the one who makes everything more complicated than it needs to be.
I decided to ignore that question for now since that was just easier to do, "What's going on in this place?" My voice broke again. I had too many emotions going on at once. You're weak. You're pathetic. I'm attached to him. I felt a tear slide down my cheek.
The warm pad of a thumb wiped it away. I stared into Roman's brown eyes as he said in the most serious voice, "I don't know and I don't intend to stay around and find out." What is he talking about? "Edward and I have been planning on breaking out of this place for a while now, but I think it's time to speed things up." I didn't know why he was telling me this, "And when that happens, you're coming too." I was going to protest, saying I didn't need his help, but he didn't want to hear it and honestly, I didn't even know if that was true after last night, "Don't argue with me Violet." We've heard all of this before. Well, last time he got me out of Arkham City didn't he? Yeah, and landed you into this hellhole. "But you need to stay close to me or Edward for the time being, okay?" I hadn't realized before but his hand was still at my face, cradling my cheek now.
So many thoughts were going through my head at one time that I kind of zoned off for a second. I'm going to get you out of here. That was just too much. I stepped back, heading towards the end of the isle. I simply said, "I need to think about this." I didn't give him a chance to say anything else before walking back out past Eddie, who seemed surprised to see me. I sat on the couch, staring at the television, without even realizing there was nothing on the screen.