Chapter 5 "Light My World"
Disclaimer: Not SM, so please don't tell her what we are about to do to her characters.
A/N: We've left you with a cliffy for 2 chapters. We'll just say, the cliffhangers will always be totally worth it. Our timeline is concrete. You just have to be patient.
Would you catch a couple thousand fireflies
Yeah, put them in a lamp to light my world
All dressed up in a tux and bowtie
Hand deliver to a lonely girl
To a lonely lonely girl
Well, I don't want the whole world
The sun, the moon, and all their light
I just want to be the only girl
You love all your life
You love all your life
"All Your Life" - The Band Perry
NPOV
-0-
"How dare you take her away from me before I can even tell her? We had a fucking deal. A deal you forced me into, you son of a-."
My feet are moving fast as I try to listen to every word being said outside. I don't know what is going on, but based on what Jacob said and how he said it, he's definitely upset. I have to go to him, find out what is going on.
Dad speaking slows me down, "Jacob, this is not a big deal. We are just going to Seattle. You can still see her. Still tell her everything on her birthday, just like we agreed."
Jacob knows we are going to Seattle? My heart is fluttering as I start moving again. How did he find out? Jacob was ok when I left him at the bonfire, which means he must have found out after I left. There is only one person that could have told him, but I hate thinking it. Seth. Fear bubbles up as I consider what else Seth might have shared with Jacob.
Jacob is still clearly upset, which makes me pause as I reach the living room. There is something in his voice that scares me. He's beyond angry. Jacob is furious. "Just going to Seattle? Are you kidding me? Do you know how much it kills me just having her here in Forks when I'm in La Push? How I've lost a day with her each week this year because of that ballet class? I told you the day we made the deal that even Seattle was too far!"
Deal? What deal? My mind is racing as I move to the front door. Obviously he is talking about me, but I don't understand why he would be so upset about my ballet class. I'm even more confused about why the short distance between Forks and La Push would be a big issue for him.
"Jacob, I understand you are upset-," Dad pauses just as my hand reaches out for the door knob. All yelling has stopped. They must know I'm here.
Taking a deep breath, I slowly open the door. Squinting, I try to take in the scene in the yard while my eyes adjust to the dark. Even though I see everything, I still don't get what is going on. My body shivers as I feel the obvious tension in the yard.
They are all quiet as I close the door and step out onto the damp grass. I'm about halfway to my mom, who is closest to the cottage, when I see my father move to stand directly in front of Jacob. I'm shocked when I hear Jacob growling. "You'd better move, right now."
I've never heard Jacob speak to my father like that and it scares me deep down. Rushing over to stand beside Mom, I do my best to look around Dad at Jacob. From what I can see, his entire body is shaking and I can tell he's barely holding himself together. I want to run to my best friend, soothe him, but I'm scared to move.
I feel my father's eyes on me but I can't stop looking at Jacob, even as Dad speaks. "You're angry Jacob. I don't want you hurting her."
"Hurting her? Are you crazy? You know I could never hurt her." Jacob's voice is shaking just like the rest of his body. My stomach is in knots, but I believe him. Jacob, no matter how angry he is, would never hurt me. Other than my parents there is nobody else I trust as much with my safety.
"Not intentionally-," I gasp, my fear replaced by anger as my father challenges Jacob.
"I would rather die than hurt her." Jacob snarls, his power pushing through as he uses his full Alpha voice on my father, "I would do anything to keep her safe, you overbearing ass-."
Dad's shout of, "JACOB," pushes me over the edge. I can't stand by any longer without knowing why they are talking about me as if I'm not standing here.
"WOULD SOMEONE LIKE TO TELL ME WHAT IS GOING ON?" I scream with all my might. I'm watching Dad and Jacob, but neither moves or even looks at me.
Frustrated, I turn back to Mom, but I stop when I finally see her face. She has her arms wrapped around herself as her eyes bounce between myself and Dad and Jacob. Even though she doesn't need to breathe, she's taking short, shallow gasps. Seeing my mom look so worried, frightens me more than Jacob and my father arguing.
I don't recognize my own voice, "Mom, please."
Mom looks at me and as I watch, she completely transforms from worried to sure of herself. Her arms drop, she stands up tall, and she takes a deep breath. Once she seems like herself again, she turns back to my father and Jacob, speaking clearly, "Edward, back off. Jacob will never hurt Renesmee and you know that."
My heart stops as I process Mom's words. Dad is standing in front of Jacob to protect me. From Jacob? Jacob is angry at Dad about some deal they have. About me? This is crazy.
When my father takes a small step to the side, my heart takes off again as I finally have a clear view of Jacob. Through the anger I can see hurt in his eyes and that scares me more than the rage shaking his body ever could. The amount of emotion I see on Jacob's face worries me. I want to move to him, to comfort him, take all of his anger away. When his eyes flicker to mine for a second it sends a wave of cold chills through my body. Beyond the rage, I see loneliness and a sadness that overwhelms me. Crossing my arms, I rub my hands along the chill bumps that have appeared on my bare arms. Jacob's eyes drop and follow the movement of my hands which frees me to look beyond his face.
Free to examine him now, I'm stunned to find he's standing there in just a pair or shorts. I've seen him in only shorts before, but tonight is different. Every muscle in his body is tensed like he's ready to attack. The chills I had before disappear as a scorching hot fire lights up my entire body. I can't pull my eyes away from him now. He's so beautiful.
Mom speaking, even softly, makes me jump. "I never agreed with this deal you two had." This grabs my attention away from Jacob and forces my focus back on Mom. I'm hopeful she will finally explain what is actually going on. She continues speaking, her eyes darting between Jacob and Dad, "but I went along with it because I wanted my daughter to have as normal of a life as possible. Edward, you knew school was starting before Renesmee's birthday. I don't know what you were planning, but we should have told him about our plans to leave."
I'm listening to every word Mom says but I'm still having a hard time following the conversation. What deal? Why is my birthday so important? What does it matter when school starts? It's on the tip of my tongue to scream my questions at all of them when I see my mother finally turns to me. She opens her arms and I don't hesitate to run to her side. She envelops me easily, holding me tight as I feel tears of frustration start to fall.
She rocks me standing up, whispering against my ear, "I'm sorry, baby. If I had known it would come to this, I would have never let things go this far."
Her words, while soothing, still don't help me to understand what is happening. The only thing I know is my father and my best friend are arguing over me. Mom has taken on every enemy that has ever come after us, but I'm not sure she can stop Jacob from going after Dad. The worst part is, even though I love both of my parents, I feel like I need to be standing beside Jacob, not hiding behind my father. I need to be at my best friend's side.
As much as I don't want to leave my mother's arms, I gently drop mine and take a step back. There is a small frown on Mom's face when she looks at me as I move just out of her reach. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I know I need to be strong now. I have to find out what is going on.
Mom, giving me a small nod, helps me feel she understands. After one last look at me, she turns and speaks directly to Dad, "Jacob has a right to tell her. Everything. And he does not have to wait for her birthday. He can tell her tonight and she can decide whether or not she wants to continue down her current path."
My eyes move to Jacob without thought. As I watch, his shoulders drop and I can clearly hear him exhaling a deep breath. He doesn't look happy, but he at least looks relieved by what Mom said.
"Bella, be reasonable." Jacob tenses up again as Dad speaks. "We only have a few more weeks with her. She isn't ready for this."
This irritates me a little. I love my father, but I really don't appreciate him making decisions for me. It was fine when I was an infant, but at some point, he has to admit that I'm growing up.
"Edward, do you not think the same is true for Jacob?" I want to cheer when Mom speaks up. My eyes dart back to Jacob and I see the truth there. His brown eyes bore into mine. He's hurting. Whatever this deal is with my father, it's hurting him. The idea of me leaving for college hurts him. I refocus on my mother's voice, hoping someone will finally explain what is going on. "I want to be selfish too, I want to keep her as my baby forever, but she has a right to know. Just because we aren't ready to let her go, doesn't mean she isn't ready for the truth. She is just as much a part of Jacob's life as she is ours."
I'm shocked by what Mom just said. Shaking my head, I take another step away from my parents. This moves me closer to where Jacob is standing in the yard, but I can't think about that right now. My irritation with this whole situation has reached a boiling point and I can't take it any longer.
My hands are shaking with my frustration as I look at the three people I love most in the world. Knowing they are all keeping some secret from me infuriates me. I want to scream but I know that won't help. Instead, I speak as calmly as possible, "Enough. Stop talking about me like I'm not here. Someone tell me what is going on. Right now."
For the first time since I walked out of the cottage, it's quiet. No one says anything, but there are plenty of looks being shared. Mom and Dad share a silent conversation in front of me. As I watch, Mom glares at Dad and Dad clenches his teeth. Mom doesn't give up her glare until finally Dad's face drops. He closes his eyes and nods to Mom once.
Holding my breath, I try not to get too excited as Mom's silent conversation switches from Dad to Jacob. She isn't smiling, but she does seem relieved as she closes her eyes and nods at Jacob.
Jacob's face changes instantaneously from tense and worried to somewhat happy. His whole body sags with relief then, as I watch, he stands up straight again. He takes slow, controlled steps, stopping only when he's standing directly in front of me.
I'm nervous having him this close, especially with my parents approaching us quickly. Mom and Dad stop beside Jacob and I, but I can't bother to look at them. I'm lost in the excitement in Jacob's eyes. They are shining, the light from the cottage and the moon turning his dark eyes into beautiful, sparkling gemstones.
"Renesmee Carlie Cullen," Jacob using my full name takes my breath away. His eyes. I've never seen them so intense, so full of certainty, joy, and a touch of fear. He inhales deeply and then continues, sending me clear over a cliff I didn't know I was standing on top of, "I imprinted on you the day you were born. You are my imprintee."
-0-
What?
Even with my brain being able to work faster than the average human, it takes a second to catch up. He can't have said what I think I heard. It's not possible. Maybe I'm dreaming. Or in a parallel universe.
I will not pass out. If I pass out then this will end up being just another dream. I can't pass out.
No matter how many times I repeat this to myself, it still feels like a dream and I'm on the verge of falling over. Time seems frozen as I try to grasp what Jacob just told me. Imprint? I'm his imprint? How can this be? How could I not have known?
This was the secret my Dad didn't want me to know. Why?
It feels like my brain is filled with nothing but question after question. I can't focus on one long enough to speak before the next one comes to mind. I feel stupid for not putting the puzzle pieces together, but I never had any reason to consider it could be me.
Before I can say anything movement in the woods grabs my attention. Nobody says a word as Seth slowly approaches, a huge wolfy grin on his furry face. He looks me directly in the eye and I'm hit with the truth. Seth was trying to tell me yesterday. His words from last night hit me squarely in the chest. I'm not the wolf for you. He could never be the guy for me, could never kiss me, because I'm already another wolf's imprintee. Because I'm Jacob's imprintee. Seth knew and that's why he would never cross that line with me. That's also why, even though Seth is a great guy, I feel no romantic interest in him. He's not my Jake.
Both of my parents knew about this, which means my entire family must know. Seth knew, so I'm assuming all of my other friends have to know too. Everyone around me, all of my family and friends, have been keeping this a secret from me. Jacob isn't just my best friend. Jacob is my wolf.
They lied.
They've all lied to me; not directly but by omission. They kept me in the dark. Not telling me the truth about one of the most important things in my life. I feel betrayed and I suddenly have no idea who to trust.
My heart is bouncing around in my chest as I freak out on the inside. I can't stand here a moment longer. Without thinking, I push my legs to start running, heading for the woods. I ignore Seth as I pass him, but I can't miss the frown of disappointment on his face.
The sound of my father's footsteps push me harder, but I slow down when he stops. Mom sounds like she is standing next to me as she speaks loud enough for me to still hear her, despite the distance I've covered already.
"No Edward. You will just make this worse." She pauses and then speaks again, saying something I never thought I'd hear her say, "Go Jacob, you are what she needs now."
Jacob doesn't phase; I can tell he's running on his two human feet. He might still be human, but the growl in his voice is the Alpha wolf speaking. The timber in his voice makes me shiver. "I don't know why the fuck you are here Seth, but protect us."
Us? Jacob and I? This stops me cold. I'm not just Jacob's best friend, I'm his imprint. Having been around wolves and their imprints all my life, I know what this means. Inseparable. Mom was right before, I am a part of Jacob's life. Jacob and I are an "us". I just never grasped that until now.
Pushing myself to move again, I find a clearing nearby. There is a downed tree at the edge which I move to sit on. Taking deep breaths, I try to calm myself down. Jacob will find me shortly and I need to talk to him, to understand all this. I can't do that if I'm still freaking out.
My breath begins to even out but my mind is still racing. I'm again thinking about the other imprintees. It's bizarre to think I'm one of those women. The more I consider each imprintee, the more worried I become. Each is bound to their wolf in such a profound way that you rarely see an imprintee without her wolf.
I can feel my shoulders slumping as I realize the weight of the truth. Being his imprint means so much more than just being with him as I've so desperately wished for. It means my life, everything I do and want, is tied to him. His life is my life, and his wants & needs are mine. There is one glaring difference though, Jacob is the tribe's Chief.
Jacob's hand feels warm against the skin of my shoulder. Twisting my head, I look up into the eyes of my Jacob. He has been with me my whole life, always right there beside me. I should have known, but I had no reason to suspect. Never a clue, not that I could see at least. My mind is such a jumble of thoughts that I don't know if I'm angry or relieved.
He kneels down right in front of me. With me sitting on the downed tree trunk and him on the ground, we are eye-to-eye. He looks worried but I don't know how to reassure him. Just as I'm considering taking his hand in mine, I feel the heat of his hands as they circle both of mine.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I want to shout at him, but I can only manage a strangled whisper.
My eyes dart away from his, glancing down at our hands; his sigh is loud in the clearing.
"Because I made a promise to your father; I wouldn't tell you if he wouldn't take you away from here. Being separated from you, even for a day, hurts me so much."
Jacob's voice sounds sincere and worried. It occurs to me that even though I'm in shock and I'm hurt by them hiding things from me, he has been burdened by this for years now.
From where I sit, I can just barely see the light of the cottage. Even though I ran a good couple of miles, this clearing has a straight shot to the place I grew up in. It all looks different in some way; less of a fairy tale house and more of a foundation of lies.
Thinking that I could have left this place without knowing, that I could have possibly never seen Jacob again, cuts me to the core. He's my best friend, and a part of my family. Even though I've made some new friends, I never felt like I had to spend as much time with them as I always have with Jacob.
His words keep playing on a loop in my head and I struggle to force myself to look back up at him. Once our eyes connect I see that fear again. I force one of my questions out past my tight throat, "Did Dad threaten to take me away?"
"No." Jacob shakes his head, his hands adjusting their grip on mine as he continues, "He used my fear of losing you to make me agree that I wouldn't tell you until your birthday."
I nod. As I review his words I also consider the things I've heard my family say about my father. Over the years, I had, of course, heard them mention that he could be calculating if needed. However, I am surprised to learn he had been that way with Jacob. As far as I knew, Dad and Jacob have always gotten along well, understanding one another in a way that I never really grasped. Now it's all starting to make sense; both of them were trying to keep this big secret from me.
"You really," my throat is so dry I nearly choke around the words, "imprinted? On me?"
"Yes."
Jacob's eyes are intense, boring into me, willing me to believe him; to understand why he's kept this from me for so long- especially given everything that has happened. Thoughts and memories begin to swirl in my brain. Jacob's reaction when Embry imprinted on Lillah and refused to tell her. Jacob stumbling over his words when I asked him about imprinting. Jacob pulling back from me recently, keeping me at arm's length.
As my mind moves quickly through my thoughts, I'm aware that Jacob moves closer, his chest almost touching my knees. I force myself not to move, but nearly jump when I feel his thumb brush the inside of my wrist. My next question escapes in my moment of surprise, "But- didn't you love my mom?" It's a stupid question, and I'm stupid for asking. Logically I know there is nothing between them other than friendship. But once there was something between them.
Jacob looks shocked, "Huh? No, Bella is my friend."
I shake my head; knowing their history, "You did love her though, at one point?"
Jacob is quiet for a moment, breaking our eye contact for the first time, dropping his eyes to look at my hands. He speaks softly, "I thought I loved her, but that was before you. I was young. I was fiercely protective of Bella and I thought that meant I was in love with her. Maybe I felt protective because I was meant to keep her from getting killed by Victoria, or being turned before she and Edward were married. If any of that had happened, she would never have had you. There wouldn't be an imprint for me, Ness," his hands tighten around mine before he speaks again. "I love Bella as a friend. But I think I loved the part of her that would be you. I love all of you."
My eyes grow wide in shock when I hear that, "You- you love me?"
Jacob doesn't hesitate, "Of course, I've loved you since you were born."
My heart is going so fast in my chest at his words that I can't think straight. More questions jump into my mind. He loves me? Loves me like a friend- or more? In love with me? I bite down on my tongue, clinching my hands into fists to keep from asking him my questions. Even with what I now know I'm still too afraid of the answer I may get.
My frown is obvious even to me, despite doing my best to hide it, but Jacob doesn't say anything. Trying not to let myself get caught up in my negative thoughts, I try focusing on the positive. All the women of the tribe that I know are so happy with their wolves; married, having babies. My mind comes to a screeching halt. Marriage and kids? I'm not ready for that, I don't know if I ever will be.
While I love Jacob and I can't imagine not having him in my life, I also can't see myself making a commitment like marriage for some time. And kids - that just seems like such a "later" type of thing. I have stuff I'd like to do now; school to attend, friends to spend time with, and places I want to see. I want to travel the world more, study and experience art all over, and learn. Jacob and I have years to get to the point or marriage and kids - especially considering we aren't getting any older - but I'm suddenly unsure if we really do have that time.
Finally, my fears bubble up and I'm speaking before I realize it, "Do we have to get married now?"
As soon as the words leave my mouth I cringe and my heart sinks. I don't wish for Jacob to think he's not important to me; that he isn't my world. He is everything to me, I'm just not ready for that step yet.
Jacob's barking laughter makes me jump. When he calms down he shakes his head, "Just because I imprinted does not mean we have to get married right away, Ness. We have plenty of time; we have forever." He leans closer to me, placing his hands on my arms and rubbing gently. In the past it hasn't been out of the ordinary for Jacob to touch me, but this feels different. More intimate and less like my best friend.
I exhale the breath I didn't realize I was holding. Somehow, this lifts a little bit of weight off of my shoulders. When I look up at him again he looks nervous. My hands move to wrap around his thick forearms.
"Um, but we can- if you wanted- we could kiss sometime, and- you know, whatever. Go on dates," he mumbles.
When I process Jacob's hesitant words my heart jerks in excitement and I suck in a deep breath. It's so ironic that he is talking about kissing me when just the day before, I was asking Seth the same thing. I remind myself that I really need to thank Seth for not giving in to my request, even when I pushed him and he so obviously didn't want to. Then I realize that Jacob might know. Surely he would have said something? I look into his face, into his deep dark eyes and I see nothing but pure honesty and patience in them. If I tell him I want to wait for all of that, there isn't a doubt in my mind that he would. We could stay friends only and he'd be ok with my decision.
"I want to do all of that with you, Jake. You have no idea- I've dreamed of this moment for so long."
I don't want to wait, but I'm not sure right this second is the perfect time for us to share our first of many kisses I hope to have in the future. We still have so many things we need to discuss, Jacob and I, as well as the two of us with my parents. As logical as that seems, my need to touch him, kiss him, make all the insanity of tonight seem real outweighs the logic. Clearly, logic is useless tonight. I couldn't tell him no even if I knew it was for the best, not after wishing this moment would happen for most of my life. All doubt drifts away and I manage to nod my head once and Jacob's smile is brilliant. Just seeing his smile makes me beam back at him.
He doesn't say anything, but slowly moves his hand to my cheek, tilting my face to look at him. I watch as his face slowly descends, my eyes darting from his, down to his mouth then back up again. The lips I have dreamed of are approaching mine; but then he stops.
I panic a little, thinking that he's having second thoughts, that maybe he's not attracted to me at all and has realized he can't kiss me. "What?"
"Nothing, just something I heard in the woods." I shake my head at his explanation. I have excellent hearing but I didn't hear anything. "Wait."
His command doesn't seem to be for me as his mouth starts aiming for mine again. My breathing is erratic and all I can see is him; his breath whispering over my face lightly as he draws closer. This is it. The moment I've been wanting for longer than I can remember.
"Jacob. I'm sorry man, but it's Embry." Seth's voice unexpectedly cuts through the still night, stopping Jacob's progress toward my lips.
I'm shocked when I hear Jacob snarl - actually snarl - at Seth. I've heard them play around before, growling at each other, making other defensive noises, but this is different. I feel a blush creep up my face when I realize that it's actually kind of- hot. Placing my hands over my face and shaking my head at myself I hear Jacob tell Seth, "He can wait."
But something about it being in regards to Embry breaks me out of the moment, "What's going on? Is Lillah ok?"
Jacob sighs, just as I turn to find Seth pacing anxiously. "I don't know, he just called saying that her water broke? They are on their way to the hospital." Seth pauses, and looks like it pains him to say the next part, "I'm sorry Jake, but Embry said Lillah wants Ness there."
Instinctively I reach out and grasp Jacob's arm. Lillah is in labor and even though I want to spend more time with Jacob, she is one of my best friends. I have to be there for her. "Jacob," I say, turning to look up at him. I don't even get the chance to finish my thought and we're on the move.
"Seth, follow us," Jacob's voice is commanding and it sends a jolt up my spine. The three of us run back to the cottage where I quickly enter and explain to my parents what has happened.
"Lillah. Baby. Now." I shout behind me while yanking shorts on, then a hoodie over my tank top. Mom appears in my doorway while I bounce back and forth from one foot to the other, putting my shoes on. Kissing her cheek and running back through the living room I wave over my shoulder.
I plow into Jacob, who didn't enter the house, lingering outside with Seth. He's dressed in jeans and a shirt now. When I give him a questioning look, he grins, "I keep a change of clothes here, just in case. Bella brought them out. Figured I needed a shirt to go into the hospital."
As I nod, I'm struck with the realization that Jacob phased and ran here; he doesn't have his car. The same with Seth. Before I can turn around Mom is there, a set of car keys in her hand.
"Take my car. Call and let us know how it goes," she's wearing a smile on her face and we hug quickly before Seth, Jacob and I take off.
The excitement coursing through my body is almost uncontainable. My legs bounce as I sit in the passenger seat while Jacob speeds down the highway. When a warm hand slides down my cheek I glance over at him. He's flicking his eyes back and forth from my face to the road, making sure he keeps us steady. Before I detect his intentions his hand drops and clasps mine where it lays clenched on my bare thigh. I stare down at our hands. It's not like this is the first time he's ever held mine but it's never been like this. I've never been his imprint until now, not knowingly.
I begin to space out a little, my mind once again jumping from one thought to another. Remembering everything that happened tonight then brings up other memories with Jacob. With my hand in his, I flash back to a time when we sat in the living room at the main house, watching a movie on the big screen there. Jacob's hand was open, palm up, in mine and I traced patterns on his tanned skin. His fingers twitched several times, then he pulled away, wrapping my hand in his and holding it immobile. If I only knew then...
The sound of Jacob's voice pulls me out of my trance. "Lillah's going to be fine, Ness. Don't be nervous. Embry will be freaking out enough for all of us." There's a half smile on his lips and it makes me giggle a little because I know he's right; Embry is probably panicking right now. Poor guy.
"Too bad we can't really get him drunk. He's going to need it before she pops this kid out," Seth pipes up, his elbows propped up on the back of the two front seats.
My eyes are still glued on Jacob's hand wrapped around mine, fascinated by the way his thumb strokes my skin every few seconds. When neither of us says anything, Seth continues, "Then again, we might be the ones that need a drink. He's going to drive us insane until Halona is here."
I see Jacob glance over at Seth from my peripheral vision but I'm a little surprised by what he says, "Sit your ass back, Seth."
Hearing Jacob boss Seth around makes me giggle a little. When I turn back I see Seth roll his eyes as he flops back against the seat, "Can do." He is squeezed into the car, his knees bent nearly to his chest from the lack of leg room.
"You really could have taken the passenger seat, Seth. It would have been more comfortable than being squished in back there," I tell him, feeling guilty seeing how obviously uncomfortable he is right now.
Seth grins at me and his eyes flick down then back up. "Nah, you and Jake look pretty cozy." I feel a little flush of heat slide over my face when he does it again, this time letting his gaze linger on my hand in Jacob's. I shake my head at my friend's silliness just as I hear a low growl next to me. My head jerks back to Jacob, my eyes wide in surprise. His eyes are narrowed on Seth and he has actually stopped in the middle of the road.
"You can't be serious right now, Jake," I say with exasperation, glancing between the two of them. Seth is glaring right back at Jacob, not backing down. "Both of you are ridiculous. What is this all about? Because Seth and I are friends? We're suppose to be on our way to the hospital, Jacob Black." Sigh. If I weren't trapped in a car with these two idiots I would be stomping my foot on the ground right now. I contemplate shoving Jacob into the back seat and taking over the driving duties myself, but even right after hunting I'm not strong enough to lift Jacob over the seat.
However, I'm getting more and more anxious to see Lillah and these two stubborn wolves aren't helping. For all I know, she's already pushing, which just gets me more irritated at the pair of them. Frowning at the guys I shove both of them on a shoulder, pulling their attention back to me.
"You drive, Jacob. Seth, you sit back there and be quiet." Ridiculous, the entire lot of these guys. I've never seen a group that fights as much as they do, nor have I seen a family that could love one another more. Even though that aren't blood related, you'd never know they weren't if you met them randomly.
Jacob surprises me by humbly apologizing. I've seen Embry react like that to Lillah but I never thought it would happen between Jacob and I. I manage to suppress my surprise when I notice how abashed he looks. The rest of the ride to the hospital is strangely quiet.
Jacob screeches into the parking lot and I jump out before he has time to put the car in park. His presence went a little way to calm me but now that we are here I'm nervous again.
I'm barely through the door when I'm greeted by Sam. He tells me that Emily is in the back with Lillah and Embry but he's been instructed to let them know when I arrive. Just then, Kim peeks her head out and spots me, waving me over. She sneaks me back into a brightly lit room where Lillah is propped up on a stark white bed, her husband and sister-in-law each holding her hand.
"NESS! I'm going to have a baby!" Lillah's face lights up when she spots me hovering by the door.
"I know," I tell her with a laugh. She lifts her hand from Emily and motions for me to come to the side of the bed. Emily moves aside as I reach Lillah. When I'm next to her, I take in her glowing face; she's beautiful, her hair pulled back and a flush on her cheeks. I glance over at Embry who is gripping her hand, he looks pale and tense. To be honest, he looks like he's about to hit the floor.
"Hi, Embry." I pull his gaze from Lillah and it's as if he just realized I'm there. He mutters my name in greeting and I take pity on him. "Jacob should be in the lobby by now."
"Embry, go say hi to Jacob and let him know I'm ok." Embry glances between Lillah and me, his eyes finally landing on her belly. Lillah moves their joined hands to where he's looking then grabs his attention, "I promise, she won't be joining us any time soon. Our little girl is pretty comfortable right now."
Embry slowly nods then leans down and whispers in Lillah's ear. She grins and nods then gives him a quick kiss before sending him out. He glances back at her when he reaches the door but she gives him a peaceful smile and he leaves. Once he's out of the room, my focus turns back to Lillah.
"How are you really feeling, Lillah? How is Embry doing? How's the baby? When is she going to arrive?" I ask as I glance over my shoulder then back again. Kim and Emily both giggle a little and shake their heads.
"I feel fine, I promise. We don't know when she's going to arrive, she appears to have her own timetable. I mean, I'm dilated a couple of centimeters now but- it could still be a while," she tells me while reaching for my hand. "I'm so thankful you're here. And that you brought Jacob with you. I'd hoped you two were together when Embry called Seth to search for Jake."
"Oh. Well. We were together but we were kind of in the middle of something when Seth tracked us down-."
"In the middle of something?" Lillah's eyes brighten a little more and she looks over at Kim and Emily before turning back to me, sitting up as straight as possible in her hospital bed.
"Yeah-." As excited as I am to tell these women about the developments of tonight, I shouldn't be their main focus.
"What happened? Did we interrupt... something?" Lillah grins and I feel my face heat in a flush.
I rapidly shake my head, "No, nothing happened. It's a long story, Lillah. Besides, we are here for you and your family. Not to gossip about Jake and I."
"Oh, no you don't!" Emily is beside me in a flash, grinning. "Trust me, we have time for a long story. I was in labor for ten hours. Tell us what happened."
I'm shaking my head but when I look over and see Lillah smiling like a little girl, I can't deny her. "Ok. Just calm down. We don't want Lillah to get too worked up."
"What? I'm already in labor, too late now. I'm getting worked up that you won't tell us. Stop stalling and spill." I want to laugh at how much she sounds like Rachel right now. She's too focused on the story to worry about herself.
Taking a deep breath, I try to condense the nights events. I'm sure they all know the background already, but it's easier to start at the beginning. "Jacob and my dad had an agreement, about me, which you probably already know about. It would seem that I'm Jacob's imprint. Which he has failed to tell me. As have all of my friends."
Not a single one of them looks ashamed. Kim pipes up, "And how do you feel about that?"
"Feel about what? Being lied to? Being kept in the dark?" I'm not angry at any of these women, but I'm still hurt that none of them told me.
"No," Lillah speaks softly, "being his imprint."
"I don't know; I'm still in shock." That is the honest truth. I have so many emotions running through my body right now that I can't focus on any single one to know how I feel.
The door to the hospital room opens and we all turn to see who's coming in. We sigh in relief when we see Rachel closing the door behind her.
"I'm here. Sorry for the delay! Paul has been driving like a grandma ever since we found out I'm pregnant. What did I miss?"
Emily, Kim, and Lillah groan in unison. Emily speaks for the group, "Get used to it, it only gets worse from here. Oh, yeah, and your brother finally told Ness about imprinting on her."
Rachel shrieks in excitement before pulling me into a tight hug. She only lets me go when the door to the hospital room opens and five large men do their best to squeeze in all at once.
Emily and Kim manage the guys, explaining it was just Rachel getting excited, while Rachel pulls me closer to Lillah. Once the door to the room closes again, Emily and Kim join our little group around Lillah.
"Ok, give me all the details. What happened? I'm so excited you finally know! It has been killing me to keep this a secret!"
Before I can reply, Lillah clutches her abdomen, her face contorting in pain. After what feels like an eternity she finally relaxes, glancing over at Kim, "First one."
"First of many." Kim checks an output from the monitor beside her. "She's ok though. We've started timing."
Rachel glances around the room, "Should we go? We can discuss this later, let Embry come in and be with his wife."
"No! Don't go yet! Embry is too worried right now. Let the guys help calm him down. There's nothing he can do and I'm fine."
Emily glances at Kim and she nods in agreement with Lillah's assessment, "She has plenty of time to yell at Embry for getting her in this state."
Lillah chuckles, "I won't yell at him, it was my idea. He was just a willing participant." She glances up at Rachel, "See what you have to look forward to?"
"I can't wait." Rachel rubs her hand over her stomach. Now that I can focus on her, I can clearly see that her normally flat stomach has rounded slightly.
Lillah narrows her eyes at Rachel, "Are you sure you're only three months?"
"I promise, I'm only three months." Rachel glances over at Kim and grins. When Kim nods, Rachel breaks out into a huge smile, "I am having twins though."
My mouth drops open and I look around at the other girls, who each have the same reaction- except for Kim, who is grinning along with Rachel. "Twins?" I ask, stunned by this news. Of course, I know Rachel is a twin herself, but the idea of her having two babies inside her right now is mind blowing.
"Yep!" Rachel blushes. "It was confirmed yesterday during our ultrasound. It's kind of funny, we had so much trouble getting pregnant at first and now we're getting two at one time."
The hugging starts again. When I get my chance to hug Rachel and congratulate her, she surprises me. "I can't wait for my babies to meet their Aunt Ness."
The tears start immediately and I do my best to hide them, but I'm not fast enough. As I'm swiping at my eyes, Lillah stretches her hand out for me to join her. I feel so silly for reacting this way, but I run to Lillah's side, relieved when she pulls me into a tight hug.
I am overly emotional, I know. Some days being a teenage girl is like riding a roller coaster the whole day - I don't know up from down. Especially days like today when I find out I'm an imprintee. Once I manage to slow the tears down to just some sniffles, Lillah releases me. Emily slides a chair over for me so I can sit but still be beside Lillah. More chairs appear and we are all surrounding the bed.
"Want to tell us about it?" Emily asks softly. "I promise, we've all been where you are right now."
"I'm just so confused. I don't know who to trust. Everyone, my family and my friends, knew and never told me." The tears threaten again but I manage to push them back.
Lillah sighs, "Ness, I know how you feel right now." When I look up at her I nod, knowing she's telling me the truth. Lillah, more than any other person in the world, understands. "Take a deep breath; Jacob so desperately wanted to tell you before tonight. Even the first time I met you I could tell it was on the tip of his tongue, but he was bound by a promise."
"I know," I sigh. Hearing Lillah explain the circumstances helps me focus more on what has me so upset. "I don't get why he made that promise in the first place though. What could have possibly made him agree to the deal with Dad?"
"He was scared." Rachel pipes up. She shakes her head, sadness filling her face.
"You were just a baby, Ness, but Jacob was willing to do whatever he had to do to keep you here." Emily pauses then smiles, "You know he phased in front of your grandfather, right?"
"Sure, so Grandpa could see Mom," I respond softly, hating bringing up Jacob's relationship with my mother.
"That's true, but not the main reason." Emily sighs. "Jacob phased so Charlie could see what he was. He did do it so Charlie could see your Mom, but also so Bella and Edward would stay in Forks. So you would stay in Forks. Your aunts and uncles were discussing leaving Forks right after you were born, going east. Jacob did what he had to do to keep you here, even if that meant exposing all of us to an outsider."
I'm shocked by Emily's explanation. I don't remember any of this. All I remember from the days after my birth come from the stories I've been told. I've tried so many times to pull up those memories, somehow use my gift to recall, but they are gone.
"When did he make this promise? Right after I was born?" I look up at Emily and Rachel, since they are the ones that would know best what was happening during that time.
Rachel shakes her head, "No, it was after your 'first' birthday party. You'll have to ask Jacob for the details. All I know is he came back that night and called us all together. We were told never again to mention you being his imprint. One mistake could mean you would be taken away from Forks. None of us wanted that to happen, so we agreed."
When I turn to Emily she has tears in her eyes. She wipes them away but her smile is sad, "We agreed, but it was difficult for all of us, Ness. You were there, a part of our family, and yet we had to keep you at a distance out of fear of losing you completely."
The room is quiet as I process this information. I jump when I see Lillah clutching her belly again. Kim moves to check the print out as Lillah starts to relax again. As I hand her the ice chips beside the bed, Kim smiles over at Lillah, "She's fine, you are at about twelve minutes apart. You ok?"
"I'm ok. Maybe one more then I think it's time for Embry to join. He won't like missing this, even though he's going to flip each time it happens."
"Lillah," I sigh, "we can go. Embry shouldn't miss any part of this."
She huffs at me, "Stay where you are. I need him as relaxed as possible when he gets in here. I know Sam and Jacob will help calm him down. Until the next one hits, you have my full attention." When I reluctantly agree, she smiles softly, "Good. I am sorry I kept the secret from you. I didn't like it at all and I probably yelled at Jacob more than I should have, but you deserved to know the truth."
A gasp escapes my mouth as I picture Lillah yelling at Jacob. "Really? You yelled at him?"
"We all did," Kim says softly. Emily and Rachel nod in agreement.
"We understood, but that doesn't mean we agreed." Rachel gives me a small grin, "I may have also told Paul to yell at Jacob for me too."
My gasp transforms into a full on laugh. Hearing that my friends have been arguing on my behalf for years makes me feel so loved. Even if their protests fell on deaf ears, the fact that they were willing to stand up to Jacob for me means the world.
"Thank you," I whisper out. "You don't know how much that means to me."
"Of course. You are part of our family. We would do anything for you." Emily's smile is loving and there is no doubt in my mind about the sincerity of her words.
"However, we do have to yell at you now," Rachel says with narrowed eyes pointed right at me.
When I look around, the other women are in agreement with her, all either frowning at me or narrowing eyes, or some combination of the two. I slide back in my chair, pulling my knees up as I cringe, "What?"
Lillah is apparently leading this charge, "Are you really leaving us for Seattle to go to college in September?"
Her question surprises me so much that I can't respond right away. After a few attempts at speaking, I finally manage to say, "How did you find out?"
"Same way Jacob did, Seth let it slip," Rachel frowns. "Oh, and in case you didn't know, Jacob is pissed at Seth right now. Paul and I saw him yelling at Seth in the parking lot as we came in."
My feet push me up to standing without my thinking about it, "What? No! Jacob can't hurt Seth. He didn't do anything."
Lillah grabs my hand before I can move, "They are big boys and will work it out. You are better off staying here and letting them argue it out."
"No, it's my fault. I'm the one that pushed Seth. He didn't do anything. I have to explain to Jacob." Lillah releases my hand but I'm quickly stopped again by Emily.
"Lillah is right. You can explain to Jacob later. There are four other wolves out there that will make sure Jacob doesn't hurt Seth." She leads me back to my seat, "Now sit and tell us what else is going on."
I don't want to sit, but I know Emily is right. Sam, Embry, Jared, and Paul will not let Jacob harm Seth. That doesn't make me feel better though. I cringe at the idea that Jacob might find out about me asking Seth to kiss me. It was a stupid thing to do and I didn't really want to kiss him, but how in the world can Jacob ever believe that? Someone clearing their throat pulls me out of my own head and I glance around. Four faces are staring at me rather expectantly.
"Seth hasn't known about college for very long. I kept it from him too. It just seemed like if I told any of you, it would make it real. I wasn't ready for that yet."
"Ness," Kim whispers. When my eyes find hers there is an odd pain there, "I don't know what your plans are, but you need to know, it isn't easy being away from your wolf."
Kim is a Physician's Assistant. When she left for school I was still pretty young, but I remember Jacob hating being around Jared. "Jared wasn't the most pleasant guy to be around then, I remember."
"There's that," Kim nods, "but it wasn't easy for me, either. My first day away I knew it was going to be a rough time. I crammed two years worth of school into a year. I did it so I could get back sooner and so I would be so exhausted I wouldn't have time to think about the fact that Jared and I were separated. Being apart," she shakes her head, "it's painful, and not just the emotional part of missing him. My whole body ached with the need to return to him. I don't know how I did it. I wouldn't recommend it if you can avoid it at all."
My stomach clenches as Kim finishes speaking. I can't remember a day in which Jacob hasn't been with me, but it is different now. While I love being around these women, I'm aware that Jacob isn't here. There is an urge deep within me to go find him. Just like Kim described, I'm missing Jacob. I always thought that longing was because I was the one with feelings for him.
Shaking my head I try to blink away the tears that have started to water up. Just thinking about leaving everyone I love is tearing me up. And now with these new revelations, it makes it even harder to think about.
"So if Seth hasn't known about you leaving for very long," Rachel interrupts my thoughts, "why is Jacob so upset with him?"
Biting my lip, I can't look any of these women in the eye as I explain. "I suppose he found out something that happened yesterday.
"When he found out I was leaving, Seth told me I had to tell Jake right away. I didn't understand why that was so important and the two of us sort of argued about it. Thinking back on Seth's words they make more sense now. He actually laughed at me when I mentioned Jacob imprinting on someone."
Rachel's snicker makes me roll my eyes at her, but I still don't glance up.
"I was upset; over Jake, school, how to tell everyone and then Seth being the first to find out." I look down at my hand still in Lillah's as I whisper the truth. "I asked Seth to kiss me yesterday," I begin but have to pause because gasps all around the room are followed by murmurs of dread. That definitely stopped Rachel's laughter.
When the room is quiet again, I continue, "I was confused and angry. Seth is also one of my best friends but I don't feel anything for him. I wanted to understand what made him so different from Jacob; why I felt so much for Jacob and yet nothing for Seth, despite both of them being wonderful men. Plus, I was afraid. Ever since Embry imprinted I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, expecting Jacob to imprint on someone and leave me."
As soon as the explanation if out of my mouth I feel my face heat up. I look up at them through my eyelashes, expecting looks of horror. Instead, they all look amused and understanding. I haven't been this relieved in a while. My shoulders rise and fall with a sigh.
"Ness, did you honestly think that Jake would ever move on to someone else? He adores you, sweetie." Lillah's voice is reassuring and her face is open and readable. I can tell by the expression she hopes I believe her words.
"I did. How could I have known it was me he imprinted on? He never gave me any indication. Nobody did. Then when Embry imprinted I- just knew it would only be a matter of time before Jacob imprinted too. With him being Alpha I couldn't imagine him not having an imprint. I couldn't have handled seeing him with someone else."
My words drop off so low on the last part of my statement that they come out as a whisper. I feel so silly, making these confessions but I believe my friends would never judge me or my heart. They will only be understanding and supportive of me. Then it hits me, the reason we've all grown a little closer since Lillah and Embry found one another; there was one particular reason for that.
"You said you yelled at him for me?" I giggle a little at the image that forms in my head, "All that time, were you all trying to force him to tell me? Inviting me to dinners and things, even when you were all coupled up?"
"Ness," Rachel leans close to me and maneuvers her face so we are eye to eye, "we love you. You are an amazing person and friend. That you are my brother's imprintee is an added bonus. We want you in our lives regardless. Not just because of that. It was a- double bonus that I got to rub his stupidity in his face every chance I got."
The room erupts in laughter and then Lillah clutches her belly. "That one was a bit stronger and a little closer to the last," she rubs her tummy after it's relaxed again. "I think it might be time to bring Embry in, Kim." Her face looks excited and a little frightened.
I stand quickly, hug her as best I can and wish her luck before I slip over to the door, giving the others space to do the same. Kim goes to get Embry while Emily and Rachel lead the way to the waiting room. I catch a glimpse of Seth standing outside the waiting room. His throat is red but he gives me a reassuring smile. I'm hoping he and Jacob have worked all this out, but I know there will still be tension until I can explain myself.
The feeling of someone watching me pulls my eyes up. My gaze lands on Jacob, his eyes steady on me. I drop my arms and without even thinking, I run to him. His arms spread wide, opening to me as I sort of leap and he catches me, wrapping his arms around me tightly. Any worry I had when I first walked into the hospital is gone as soon as his scent envelopes me. He smells the same as he always has and while it's comforting, it also brings about new emotions and sensations.
I lean in closer, bringing our bodies against one another as I wrap my arms around him, gripping his back, twisting his shirt as I feel him lift me off the ground. It almost feels like I'm hanging on for dear life. Even if I am, I know Jacob will hold onto me. His nose presses into the skin of my neck, his warm breath sending a chill up my spine. Whatever doubts I might have about this imprinting business, I know he'll always be by my side. He's my best friend. Always has been and always will be.
-0-
A/N: You can put down your pitchforks. No cliffy this chapter. Aren't you proud of us? Next time, Jacob, so get ready, because he is fired up.