Chapter 8 "Finally See"
Disclaimer: SM owns the characters, we are just sharing our version of how the story continued after she ended.
A/N: Ready? Jake's turn. Jake and Ness finally get to talk and clear the air on quite a few things.
Wait till the day you finally see
I've been here waiting patiently
Crossing my fingers and my t's
She cried on my shoulder begging please
Think twice before you touch my girl
Come around I'll let you feel the burn
"Think Twice" - Eve 6
JPOV
-0-
My paws are heavy as I pace through the woods waiting for Ness to finish her talk with Bella and Edward. I'd give anything to be in there but I know it would only make it harder on her. I have no doubt Edward and I would argue. While our goal is the same, to take care of Ness, we have very different ideas of how that should be accomplished. I do not see her as the child that he does. The last thing I want is to upset Ness by her father and I arguing again, so I force myself to continue moving through the forest.
My mind is so distracted with worry over what Edward could possibly be saying to Ness that I don't realize she's coming out of the house until I hear the door close. She's running but I can feel her relief like it is my own, my stiff muscles relaxing. To confirm my suspicions, I concentrate on her scent as the wind blows it in my direction. The metallic taste of worry that surrounded her before is gone, easing the last of my tension.
Without thinking I head toward her, phasing back as I run, pausing only to pull on my jeans. My feet are bare and my steps remarkably light, not making a sound. In her haste to get away from the house she doesn't realize I'm so close. If I weren't so anxious to hear what happened I would admonish her for not being alert as she runs through the woods. When she runs right past me I start following her silently. I pull out my phone but wait to send her a text until she finally stops.
As soon as she reads my message to turn around, she does so. A breeze picks up again, carrying her scent back to me; relief mixed with excitement and a tinge of nervousness. She smells as amazing as she looks. Her long curly hair flies through the air, landing wildly around her face. So beautiful. I'm about to tell her so when she spins away again, her focus now centered on a sound I heard as well.
I silently move to stand right behind her, still a little surprised that she hasn't realized I'm here. "There's a herd of elk over there," I whisper softly so the animals can't hear us. As much as I want to know what her father said to her, I always want to make sure she is taken care of, healthy. My focus switches to getting her to hunt; but I promise myself once that is done I will find out how things went inside, then talk about us.
Us. Such a strange word to apply to Ness and I. While we've always been an "us", it has a completely different meaning now than it has in the past. I'm so ready to get things sorted out that I can barely stay in my own skin. My concern about seeing her hunt fades as the need to define our relationship, claim her as mine, takes over.
Her gasp at my words scares the elk away, which right this second, I don't mind. She spins to face me, her hand going up to cover her mouth. I'm standing so close to her that I almost expect her to move back. When she doesn't, encouragement floods my veins.
I steady Ness with my hands on her hips, both to keep her from crashing into my chest and to keep her right where she is, close to me. There's a blush high on her cheeks and her eyes are glued to my bare chest. Before, I would have doubted if she knew she was staring. Now, I'm certain that she knows she's ogling. And she likes what she sees. The realization and the look in her eyes somehow wakes up my body. I've never had her openly check me out, but I love the feeling and crave even more of it. Screw hunting and talking, I would willing lay down on the ground right now to let her explore me, just to continue to feel this amazing sensation. Progressing our relationship might be smoother than I thought. Thank God.
My breathing becomes more labored as I slowly reach out to pull Ness' hand away from her mouth. Feeling her soft skin against mine has every nerve in my fingertips tingling. I place her palm over my heart, knowing she can feel it racing under my skin.
After last night, I'm not completely shocked when an image of her small, pale hand on my chest flashes in my mind. In that brief second that she unknowingly shares her thoughts, she also shares something else. It's only two words, but the meaning could be interpreted in so many different ways. "I want."
Before I can ask, before I can tell her she's sharing her thoughts with me in this new way, her beautiful brown eyes finally look up at me. So many emotions are reflected back at me as I look into her eyes. She almost looks panicked but it passes quickly as her eyes travel all over my face. My eyes drop down to her lips of their own accord, but as I drag them back up her face I realize this is my chance.
I can kiss her now. Without anyone telling me I'm not allowed or it's too soon or not right. My imprint finally knows she's my imprint and I'm hopeful she agrees to at least being my girlfriend in the very near future. Now that she knows, there are so many better definitions for her than only my best friend. Ness is everything I could ever need and all that I will ever want.
While not the first time I've noticed, the fact that her lips are a little uneven is suddenly very intriguing to me. The top one is more plump than the bottom but it's slight; only noticeable to someone that has spent time looking. Like, say, me for instance. I need to explore that difference, feel her lips pressed against mine.
"This is 'later', Ness," I whisper before I realize I'm speaking the words. Her throat works as she swallows when my meaning becomes clear. "Tell me now if you want me to stop."
If she told me she wasn't ready I would stop myself, pull away from her. There is no way I would ever do anything she isn't comfortable with. Her silence encourages me and I let my face move a little closer to hers, brushing our noses together while still giving her time to pull back if she wants. My hands tighten on her, ready to push her back or pull her tighter depending on her response. I want her to be into this more than anything I've ever wanted in my life.
Ness' sweet scent surrounds me, taking over my senses as I breathe her in. I don't want to make any sudden movements that might make her feel awkward in my eagerness to kiss her, but I need to feel more. My hands slowly move to her waist, itching to pull her flush against my body.
Just as my lips are about to brush hers, I hear her familiar voice in my head, whispering the words I've longed to hear for so long. "Kiss me, now."
I mutter quietly, "Thank fuck."
Capturing Ness' gasp I touch my lips to hers. It feels like being struck by lightning and I'm man enough to admit it. If I were a cartoon character, hearts would be floating above my head. I lift my face just a little, pulling our lips apart in case she needs a second of space. Her brows scrunch together, the way they do when she's preparing to argue with me. That's how I know she's ok.
I let my lips touch hers again, adding a bit of pressure while I move my hands up my girl's sides. God, I needed this; need her desperately. I'm so glad I managed not to kiss her before finally telling her, but now that we are kissing-. More.
Kissing her bottom lip I concentrate there while placing one hand against her face. I've been anticipating this for so long but I force myself to go slow. Feeling her lips against mine is amazing, but I want her to enjoy this too. There is no need to rush since we are completely alone right now in the woods. When I finally alternate to her top lip, I think I could spend the rest of my life just kissing her like this.
Ness' lips tentatively loosen and relax against mine then fall open just a little. I take advantage of that and run my tongue along her bottom lip; tasting, savoring. If her scent draws me in, the taste of her on my tongue is my undoing. I've never wanted one person in my life as much as I want her. Any other women from my past are obliterated from my mind in that moment. Gently pulling her bottom lip between mine I tug at it, kissing her softly, taking my time.
Her top lip slips over mine and she's kissing me back gently with a bit of uncertainty. Her uncertainty makes me want to shout for joy, only because it helps to confirm I'm the only man that has ever kissed her. The only man that will ever kiss her.
While I move my thumb over her cheek, caressing and loving her, I wrap the arm holding her body up tighter around her, pulling her chest flush with mine. My whole being is so focused on the amazing feeling of having her breasts pushed against me that when her tongue tentatively touches my top lip, I jump.
Not wanting to let her go in my moment of shock, my fingers find their way into Ness' hair, keeping her mouth pressed against mine. To my surprise, it doesn't seem like she noticed my reaction. My grip on her waist relaxes slightly, but instead of leaning back, her hand slides from it's spot against my heart to my neck. A moan catches in my throat as I feel her tongue against my top lip again.
My intention all along has been to keep my control, but now that she is starting to participate, I'm losing my concentration. My body is taking over and all I can think about is my need to feel and taste her. Everywhere. When I feel her relax even more into the kiss, my tongue leaps to slide along the edge of hers. I both feel and hear her gasp of surprise.
I'm about to pull away from her, worried I've pushed too far, when she repeats the movement, sliding along the edge of my tongue now. My lips press harder against hers as a growl of satisfaction pushes up from my chest. My girl learns fast. Of course she does.
Our connection is broken only because of my need to breathe. My lips stay just a few centimeters from hers as I gasp for air. When my brain starts functioning again, I notice something new mixed in with her scent; it's a heavier smell than I'm accustomed to with her. I recognize it immediately only from the thoughts my imprinted brethren have shared with me; that heavy smell is desire. She wants me. Just as I want her. The kick of arousal in my pants almost brings me to my knees.
Her eyes open slowly, but I can feel Ness breathing just as hard as I am. Her fingers against my neck find the edge of my hair. I groan again as she starts tentatively moving her fingers through it. Unable to stop myself, my lips return to hers. As her fingers play with my hair, I drop both of my hands back to her waist. My lips make slow passes over hers, letting her control the pressure now.
At first she follows me, mimicking the slower pace I've set for us this time. This allows me to focus on exploring with my hands while my lips linger on the simple joy of kissing her. I find the edge of her jeans easily and it doesn't take much for me to push under her shirt to find her soft skin.
As soon as my hands touch her bare skin, she whimpers against my lips. She wraps her other arm around my neck and tugs me closer. That's all the invitation I need to increase the pressure of my lips against hers. She follows right along with me, sighing softly against my mouth.
My fingers make small circles all over her satiny skin, slowly pushing higher beneath her shirt. I know I need to stop us soon, but I can't find the willpower to do so. Not yet. Getting to this point seems to have taken so long, I don't ever want it to end.
Needing more, as much of her as I can take right now, my tongue passes over her lips. She doesn't even hesitate before sliding her lips apart, granting me full access. When I slide my tongue over hers slowly I feel her arch her chest into mine. Even through her shirt and bra, I can feel her nipples hardening.
This finally manages to wake me up enough to slowly pull back. Feeling Ness' body react so quickly is dangerous and I know it. I don't want to push her into something she isn't ready for. I know that if I don't stop us now, I'm not far away from pulling her to the ground and removing clothes. It's too soon for that, unfortunately.
My hands had made it up to her rib cage, but I begin the descent back to her hips. My lips ease back, pulling away from her slowly, very reluctantly. I should push her away, get some distance between us, but that is impossible. Instead, I make sure my groin isn't touching her as I lean back. My dick is throbbing against my fly. After this kiss, I don't think he'll ever deflate again. At least, not until-. No, probably not even then.
Grinding my teeth, I try to think of anything to stop thinking about THAT. Quil, squishy alien-looking newborn babies, Volturi, Emmett making out with Blondie. Edward and Bella. Ok that did it.
"That bad?" The words in my head are soft but the worry that accompanies them is what catches my attention. My eyes fly to her face. Even though her hand is against my cheek, she's nibbling on her bottom lip as she looks over my shoulder.
I nudge her chin with my fingers until Ness finally makes eye contact with me. "Why would you even think that?"
The version of my face that she sees is in my mind, it looks like I'm in pain. Shaking my head, I try not to laugh at her assumption. "I was trying to think of horrible things to stop thinking about how absolutely amazing it was to kiss you. I needed to-," clearing my throat I try to think of the best explanation. I finally choke out, "Calm myself down."
She blushes and a small smile crosses her lips. This surprises me and I have to ask, "What?"
"You really liked kissing me." Even though she makes it a statement, she's putting other thoughts in my mind. There are still questions that surround her statement, like she hopes, but doesn't want to assume. Crazy girl.
I cup her cheeks as I press our lips together briefly. My hands move to her shoulders while my lips explore her face, placing small kisses on every inch of her soft skin that I can. In between touches, I speak, "I loved kissing you. If I could kiss you for the rest of my life, I'd be happy. I've dreamed of kissing you so often but the reality was so much better than any dream."
I pause for a second, leaning back to look her in the eye. She's blushing and smiling, but I need to make sure she enjoyed kissing as much as I did. "You liked kissing me too, right?"
"Of course," is shouted in my brain as she giggles in front of me.
"Enough to want to kiss me again?" I ask softly, leaning my face toward hers again, stopping only when our foreheads touch.
Instead of responding, her hand against my cheek pulls me toward her. She hesitantly brushes her lips against mine, sending a spark straight through to my groin. I'm prepared to pull back, but she surprises me, leaning closer as her lips slide over mine. Having her initiate the kiss is a dream come true; there is something intense about letting her take the lead.
I know I can't let it go too far this time. She still needs to hunt and we need to talk. Pulling back from soft lips is difficult, but knowing we still have so much to discuss necessitates it.
As I lean back, the wind changes directions and I feel a stray lock of her hair brush the back of my hand. Grabbing the hair gently, I twirl it, the ringlet easily twisting around my finger. It's been so long since I could play with her hair that I feel the need to remind myself of how soft it feels. As much as I remember the texture, now the feeling of her hair against my skin is so much more powerful; it feels like touching pure silk.
The simple act is so distracting that I have no concept of the time passing by. "Jacob?" My name softly whispered in my mind pulls me out of my thoughts and returns my focus immediately to Ness.
There are so many emotions playing out on her face that I can't decipher them all; happy, confused, shocked, overwhelmed, scared, excited. Just when I think I've recognized one emotion, another shows up. In the past I didn't want to push her about her feelings. I watched her closely, analyzing every emotion as it crossed her face, but I avoided asking how she was feeling because it would be too big of a clue about the secret I was keeping. Now that she knows; I don't have to try to read her face to know what she's feeling. Now I can just ask. It's an amazing feeling.
Knowing that the conversation I'm about to start is going to take a while, I lower my body to the ground, sitting on the lone patch of grass I can find. Her eyes follow me, but I see them go wide when I offer up my hand to her. She hesitates for just a moment, then she steps forward, putting her hand in mine as I reach for her waist. It doesn't take much strength on my part to pull her down to sit in my lap.
Once she's settled, I finally find my voice. "How are you?"
Her hands are clasped in her lap. I expect her to touch my face to respond, but instead, she whispers, "I'm fine."
"Tell me more. What are you thinking? Feeling? I know you've been holding back recently." This makes her head jerk up, her eyes wide with surprise at my statement. "I knew, but I didn't say anything because I was scared you'd figure out why I was asking. Please, no more holding back."
Having her this close makes it impossible not to touch her. Tentatively, I press my palm against Ness' cheek. She leans her head into my hand and my voice drops to a whisper. "All I think about is how I can make you happy, take care of you. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up, the focus of my thoughts all day long, the last thing I think about before I fall asleep, and you star in my dreams each and every night. I imprinted on you, Ness."
Tears are escaping the corner of her eyes as I finish speaking. Even though she doesn't look sad, I'm about to ask her what's wrong when she finally places her hand against my face. My mind is flooded with every emotion I saw on her face before as well as what seems like a thousand more. I'm drowning in what she's sharing with me, but I'm so excited to finally be let back into her mind, into her heart, that I don't mind.
"Jacob," when she speaks my name my heart jumps at the sound, still trying to understand everything she just shared with me. Opening my eyes slowly I see the soft smile on her face but there are still tears. Once my eyes are fully open and locked on hers, she speaks again. "I've dreamed of this but never thought it was a possibility."
She starts shaking her head, which worries me, but soon she's laughing softly. "What?" I ask, wanting in on whatever is making her so happy.
Her hand returns to my face. She shows me in her bed this morning, quickly followed by my own voice growling in my head, "Why'd you have my pillow under the comforter?"
Chuckling softly I lean a little closer to her, "Ok, you're going to have to explain what's so funny about that."
Her cheeks turn bright pink just as she shares another flash of her bedroom. Bella is in her line of sight, standing at the door to her room with a big smile on her face. Her odd bell-like voice almost sings as she speaks, "Good. Now, if you want that horrible scent to linger, I'd recommend putting the pillow under your sheets."
My eyes go wide and I want to jump for joy at what the memory she just shared with me means. Instead, I can feel myself grinning like a fool. "You knew! You knew I stayed Friday night. Why didn't you say anything yesterday?"
"I didn't know what to say." She removes her hand from my face and her eyes follow it back to her lap. My heart clenches with the truth of her statement. She didn't know what to say because yesterday she didn't know she was my imprint.
"I'm sorry, Ness, that was irresponsible of me. I've resisted the temptation for months now, but you looked so tired and sad Friday night. When your mom offered, I jumped at the opportunity to hold you in my arms while you slept. Her condition was I had to be out before dawn, which meant I left before you woke up. I didn't mean to confuse you or freak you out, I just wanted you to finally get some sleep."
As I speak, she shakes her head. When I finally pause for a breath, she jumps in. "Jacob, I wasn't freaked out. Confused, yes, but there's nothing for you to apologize for." She bites her lip for just a second, like she's building up her courage. I want to kiss her, replace her teeth with my lips, but I stop myself, knowing we need to keep talking. Finally, she releases it and her eyes dart up to mine before settling on my throat. "Why didn't you say anything yesterday? And how did you know I haven't been sleeping?"
Since her second question is easier to answer, I tackle that one first. "Ness, I imprinted on you. Plus, you're my best friend, I knew something was wrong. Even though I couldn't tell you about imprinting, I have always watched over you, kept you safe. The clearing you ran to last night has a perfect view of your bedroom."
She tilts her head for just a second then gasps, "Jacob! I get dressed in my room. Have you ever-?"
Before she can finish I'm gasping out, "NO! I managed to look away when I knew you were changing."
"Managed?" she asks, twisting her head slightly. Shit.
I cringe, remembering all those times when I would see her waking up or, worse, returning to her room after a shower in just a towel. "It wasn't always easy to look away."
"Why?"
Taking a deep breath I try to organize a response that will help her understand. Opening up like this is needed, but I never would have guessed how difficult it would be.
"The only reason I agreed to Edward's terms was so I could keep you here, close to me. If I hadn't looked away, I risked losing you because I wouldn't have been able to stop at just looking. It became so much more difficult the last couple of months. I did my best not to think of you as an adult, but you made that very difficult." My wink is automatic and she grins in response. As much as I want to tease her, keep her smiling, I press on. "That's also why I didn't say anything about spending the night yesterday. If I had mentioned it, if I had known your reaction to finding out I shared your bed, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from telling you about imprinting. It was a battle every day to hold myself back. But I had to keep you near. I was willing to sacrifice my own desires for that."
It takes everything in me to remain silent, to give her time to process what I just said. I want to grab her hand, press it against my face so I can follow her thoughts, but I'm relegated to just watching her face. Not that I mind, her face, just like the rest of her, is stunning.
"Is that why you had a countdown to my birthday?"
To say I'm shocked is an understatement. "How do you know about that?"
Her cheeks go bright pink and I don't need her to say the name to know who told her. "Seth told you." It's not a question, I know it's the only answer.
She nods but doesn't say any more, her eyes returning to her hands in her lap. I'm dreading hearing the story, but I need to know. Even though Seth promised he didn't touch her, I know something happened between them, that Ness begged him to do something 'for' her.
"Will you please tell me what's going on between you and Seth?"
She doesn't say anything, but slowly moves her hand from her lap to my face. As soon as I feel her palm make contact with my cheek, images are floating through my mind. She's showing me lessons with her father, with Seth sitting beside her. Seth with a book open, studying, while she takes a test. She and Seth laughing over a shared joke.
Image after image of her spending time with Seth. I can feel my blood boiling. How long has this been going on?
I must have spoken my question because Ness answers, "He's been taking classes with Dad for two years now."
My eyes jerked open. "Two years? For two years he's been at your house every day. How did I not know this? Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't Edward tell me?"
"Because Seth asked us to keep it a secret."
Such a simple answer, but the underlying meaning is clear to me. She and Seth are close friends, much closer than I ever expected. As much as it upsets me to know I completely missed that my imprint was spending so much time with a wolf in my pack, it still doesn't answer the question. Before I can get to the big question, I need to understand why Seth was even at their house in the first place.
"Ok, so Seth has been studying with Edward for the last two years. Studying what? He got his high school diploma." I leave off the "unlike me" at the end of the sentence. I never bothered to go back and finish school after everything with Victoria and the Volturi. It's never been a big deal to me, until now.
"He was trying to get certified so he could teach, at least at the Rez school. Dad did more than that though."
"Of course Edward went out of his way for Seth. Those two have some sort of a weird bond." I know I'm growling out my words but I'm irritated. It's almost like Edward did everything he could to keep Seth close while doing his damnedest to keep me away.
Ness chuckling stops me. "What?"
"Nothing, it's just," she pauses, shaking her head, "you're right, they do have a weird bond. Dad was always way easier on Seth during lessons." She starts laughing harder and when I look at her she giggles out, "He was the teacher's pet."
As much as I want to stay upset, Ness laughing eases my tension. Sure, Seth spent a lot of time with her over the past two years, but right now, she's sitting in my lap laughing. Rolling my eyes at her, I feel a chuckle escape as I respond, "I'll make sure to remind Seth of that frequently."
This seems to sober her up. She bites her lip then whispers, "Please don't be mad at Seth. He didn't do anything wrong."
"He upset you, in my book, that means he did something wrong." The growl is back in my voice, but this is something very serious to me. No one hurts Ness.
She's shaking her head again but she won't make eye contact with me. I barely hear her whispered words, "It's not like that, Jake. He didn't do anything to upset me other than be a good friend. To both of us."
This surprises me, "What do you mean?"
"I'll show you, everything, but you have to promise not to get upset and stop me, ok? I just- this is really hard for me to share with you. It's embarrassing and not my proudest moment, but you deserve to know."
Her words are ominous, but I agree to her terms. I'm holding my breath waiting for the dreaded images to start flying into my mind when I feel Ness' hair brush against my chest just before her head lowers to rest against my shoulder. When I catch her eyes, she gives me a smile, but if it was meant to make me feel better, it doesn't work. It only serves to make me more nervous.
I give her a slight nod to indicate I'm ready and close my eyes. The black of the back of my eyelids is all I see. Soft lips pressed against the underside of my jaw make my eyes open wide. When I glance down she whispers, "I just wanted to remind you that you are who I want to kiss. You're the only one I've ever dreamed of kissing."
Before I can respond, the image of Seth jumps into my mind. I close my eyes, reminding myself of my promise not to stop her now that she has started.
-0-
"Hey Ness! The countdown is on! Forty-two days."
His arms are wide as he opens them for her. She walks down the stairs and he pulls her into a tight hug. Too tight in my opinion, but I keep my mouth shut.
She gasps when he finally releases her, "Forty-two days until what?" Definitely too tight.
Seth's face looks shocked, "Your birthday, of course! It's all Jacob thinks about."
Forty-two days means this was Friday. This must have happened while I was sleeping and it must be why she was so upset that night. I want to shout, ask her questions, but force myself to remain quiet remembering my promise to her.
Edward's, "Hmph," is clear somewhere in the background, but his face is calm when she glances at him, as is Seth's when her gaze returns to him. He's laughing, of course, but shakes his head at her.
Seth redirects every one's attention by asking about the two boxes on the piano.
"This is your surprise. Go ahead, open it." Edward moves back over to where Bella is standing and they are both grinning happily.
He opens the boxes and argues with Edward about something being "too much" but I still don't get it. I wish this gift of hers had fast forward.
When Edward begins to explain, he sounds proud of Seth, like he's his father. Seth goes to shake Edward's hand and finally Ness can see what was in the boxes. Degrees. University of Washington. Bachelors degree in Education and History. Damn. Edward did hook him up.
"I'm just glad they arrived now. I was worried they wouldn't get here before we left." Edward's words stop Ness cold and remind me of a topic we still haven't discussed; her leaving for college.
"Oh yeah?" Seth laughs, "You and Bella going away for your anniversary?"
Then the bomb is dropped. Edward, being the coward he is, leaves Ness to explain. I can feel my teeth gnashing at my lip in anger. How dare he leave it up to her when it was his idea?
Ness is nervous, I can feel her tension even through the memory. Seth paces around the room, but she's crying, so he looks blurry.
"Tell me it's just them. That only Edward and Bella are leaving." Seth growling surprises me, I want to shout at him to back off.
She doesn't respond vocally, but shakes her head back and forth in the negative. It's clear Seth understands her meaning.
"How soon? Were you going to tell any of us or just leave in the middle of the night?" I want her to tell him it's none of his damn business, but also want to hear her answer these same questions. He pauses in his rant. "Have you told Jacob?" He sounds surprisingly worried.
The tears start to evaporate from her eyes as she speaks, "Not yet, but I will. It's really not that big of a deal, though. I'm going to attend the University of Washington. We're just moving to Seattle." Her words, though similar to Edward's, differ because of the pain that is so clearly laced within.
"It is a big deal, Ness." I find myself cheering Seth on. It's almost like he had my back. He walks back over to her before continuing. "Ness, your friends deserve to know this. Especially Jacob."
"I agree my friends need to know, but I really don't see why Jacob is so special. I doubt he'll even miss me." She was irritated, I can hear it in her voice, but it doesn't make the words any less painful. I want to tell her how wrong she was, but the memory keeps going.
"Ness, I don't know what's going on with you, but trust me, it will kill Jacob if you leave."
"He has Leah to comfort him."
"Ness." I can't stay quiet at this point. I need to know why she would ever think there was something between Leah and I.
Before I can say more, I feel her lips against my ear, "Please Jake, let me finish."
Grinding my teeth, I remain quiet, letting her continue. My mind is reeling with all the information she is sharing with me right now. So many assumptions, by both of us. Once she is finished, I have to clear the air with her.
Seth's reaction is to laugh at Ness thinking there was something going on between Leah and I. I don't particularly like his laughing at my imprint but really, it's baffling to me that she would think that.
After a few minutes more of laughing, and Ness asking him what is so funny, he stands up straight. "You are what is so funny. You don't actually think there is something going on between Jacob and my sister, do you?"
She shrugs. Doesn't say anything, just shrugs. This hurts me so much. I shouldn't have let Edward keep me away from her. If I had just been able to tell her, she wouldn't have had so many doubts about my feelings for her. I could have showed her what she means to me.
Seth stands next to her, putting his arm on her shoulder, "They are just friends, I promise." Much as I appreciate him backing me up, I don't like him touching her.
"Besides, my sister is too much for Jacob to handle. I'm not sure there is a man alive that can take her on." For once I actually have to agree with Seth. I pity any man that wants to be with Leah. She is not just any 'normal' female. "Trust me, there's as much going on between Leah and Jacob as there is going on between you and I."
Ness doesn't reply, which scares me. She steps away from Seth, moving to sit on the couch, but remains quiet. Her silence mixed with the fact that she isn't sharing what she was feeling makes me think the embarrassing part is coming up.
"Why isn't there anything going on between you and I?" My heart drops. I really don't know if I can watch any more but I have to know.
"What?" Seth looks like he could gag, which makes me feel a little better.
His reaction doesn't seem to deter her. She's determined, and like normal, won't let something go, even when she knows it isn't right. "I just mean- we are good friends. I like you. We get along great. Neither of us is- with anyone..."
Seth sits beside her on the couch. He isn't laughing or smiling, which is rare for him. "I like you too, Ness, but we just aren't like that."
The relief is overwhelming. As far as I can tell, Seth did everything right in this situation. That scares me.
"How do you know?" She whispers, but I can hear the determination pushing her on.
Instead of looking at Seth, she looks at his hands when he taps her on the shoulder. "I just know, Ness. I'm not the wolf for you."
Fucker told her indirectly that there is a wolf for her. Son of a bitch!
"You could be." She sounds almost desperate now, which truly frightens me. Nothing good can come out of desperation. I would know. What scares me even more than her desperation is the fear that she might actually have feelings for him.
Seth grabs her attention until she's looking in his eyes. "But I'm not."
I can feel my shoulders sagging in relief. I'm hopeful this is the worst of what happened that night, but I have a feeling it's not.
"Have you ever been in love?" She actually covers her mouth with her hand like she didn't mean to ask the question.
Seth is back to grinning now, apparently relieved to answer these questions. He taps his temple with his finger, "No, but I've seen enough of it in my head."
"What if we kissed? Just to make sure there isn't anything between us."
And there it is, one of the many things I was dreading but hoping didn't happen. My imprint asked another man, a wolf, to kiss her. I'm about to open my eyes, argue with her when I feel her lips brush against my cheek as she whispers, "Shhhh, just let me finish, then we can talk."
I want to scream, tell her not to bother because I can't take anymore. Even if Seth denied her, it kills me to think she even asked that of him. That she didn't come to me. I can't be mad at her when I was keeping the imprinting from her, but it still hurts.
Clenching my jaw so that I don't say anything, I nod for her to finish.
Seth cringes, jumps up and starts pacing before eventually stopping at the piano.
"No, Ness."
"Why? You like me!" The frustration is evident in her voice.
Seth remains calm, "Yes I do, as a friend, but Ness, I can't do that. You should talk to Jacob. We both know it's not me you want." Once again he pushes the edge, practically telling her I imprinted, and yet, she didn't catch on. Did I hide it that well all this time? I'd thought for sure there were things that made it obvious.
"We can't always have what we want." She whispers softly, breaking my heart. Then her demeanor changes from hurt to angry. She's so upset she's almost screaming as she continues, "Besides, it doesn't matter what I want, it will never happen. If you aren't the guy for me, there's no way Jacob ever could be. He only sees me as a kid... a friend."
Seth doesn't say anything. The room is quiet and I can feel her anger retreating. But her determination is still present.
"I leave for school in less than two months. Please, won't you help me? I can't go off to college without being kissed. You are the only one who can help me." Her voice is soft, but I can hear the begging tone in the familiar words.
This is what she shared with me last night without knowing. While familiar, it cuts even deeper now because I have the context around her words. She wasn't just begging for help, she was begging for him to kiss her.
Seth quietly returns to stand in front of Ness. He kisses the top of her head then steps back. "Sorry Ness, that's the best you'll get out of me. I'm not the only one who can help you, and you know it. Just- talk to Jacob. About college, going away, this kiss thing. Trust me, he will want to know all of it. That's the most help I can give you."
-0-
Her hand slides from my cheek and she pulls back, sitting up straight, though still on my lap. Even though she hasn't moved far, the void between us is huge. I don't know what to say. I'm relieved, angry, and most of all, confused.
"Did you want to kiss him?"
Her head shakes back and forth quickly, "No. I've never felt anything for Seth other than friendship, but I didn't understand why. I thought if we kissed, maybe I'd magically feel for him the way I feel for you."
She's blushing and won't meet my eyes. I know this is difficult, but I still don't understand why she'd ask that of Seth. "Did you want to feel that way for him?"
"Of course not, but I didn't think you'd ever return my feelings." She sighs softly before looking up at me. "As far as I knew, you hadn't imprinted on anyone, which meant you would never imprint on me."
"I should have never let it go this far. I knew when Embry imprinted that you were upset by the news. I should have told you then and dealt with the consequences."
"How- how did you know?" Ness looks startled by this information.
My thumb moves down her cheek to rest against the corner of her mouth, "Like I said before, you're my imprint. I don't need you to tell me when you are in pain, I feel it like it's my own. Just before Embry imprinted I could feel the shift in our relationship happening. The way you looked at me, talked to me, and acted around me was changing. I was nervous, trying to figure out how to deal with the changes without telling you, but I was starting to adjust. Then he imprinted. I could still feel you changing how you felt about me, but suddenly it was like you closed me out."
Tears are streaming down her face and she sobs out, "I'm sorry, Jacob. I thought I was losing you. I just knew deep down that you were going to imprint on someone then that would be it for me. The only thing I could figure out was to try to pull away from you."
I pull her tight against my chest, rocking her back and forth until the tears finally slow down. I knew she was in pain, but if I had known it was this bad, I would have stepped in. The guilt is overwhelming as I deal with the reality of my many mistakes with her.
"Shh, it's ok. It's over now. No more worrying about losing me. I will be right beside you, always." My fingers play with the soft ends of her hair while she composes herself. Even when Ness pulls back from my chest, I don't drop my hands from around her. "Just, do me a favor. Don't ever ask anyone else to kiss you."
She covers her mouth but I can hear the combination giggle-hiccup escape. Finally she manages to speak again, "Ok, I promise, Jake." She pauses then looks up at me with very serious eyes, "But you have to promise to stop being mad at Seth. I showed you, he didn't do anything."
"I know, but I still don't like it. He was spending time with you without telling me. It's just not right." I'm being stupid, I know it, but I can't help myself.
"Are you jealous? You don't have to be. The only reason my friendship with Seth was a secret was because he didn't want you all to know about his studies."
The growl comes up without my meaning it to, "Ness. Of course I'm jealous. I'm jealous that Seth spent time with you that I didn't. I'm jealous that you asked Seth to kiss you first. And if he had kissed you, I would be beyond jealous. Just knowing that he upset you made me want to kill him. I'm not sure what I would have done if he had actually kissed you."
Her lips are against mine as soon as I finish speaking. As much as I want to be gentle with her, right now, I can't. I pull her chest flush against mine as I take over the kiss she initiated, adding pressure and tightening my grip on her. I suck in her gasp when her hip brushes against my groin and use the opportunity to slip my tongue into her waiting mouth.
As soon as my tongue brushes hers, I feel her nipples pucker against my chest. God, how am I going to manage to keep my hands to myself? I want to pull her shirt off, but suppress the urge, for now. I appease myself by attempting to mark her as mine.
My focus moves to her lower lip. Just as she is wrapping her arms around me, I sink my teeth in. She doesn't gasp like I expected her to. No, my girl arches her back, pressing those tight nipples even harder against my chest as she moans. Just when I think she can't get any hotter, I feel her tugging roughly against my hair.
"Mine." I growl out when I pull back slightly from her lips to gulp in air.
She smiles, her skin bright pink from her neck up, "Yours. Does that mean you are mine too?"
"Always have been, always will be."
Her grin is wide and I'm reminded of something else she shared with me in her memory. "About Leah," the fire of her blush darkens her cheeks immediately but I push on, "you have no reason to be jealous of her. Like Seth said, there's nothing going on between her and I."
"You spend a lot of time with her," she mumbles softly, not looking me in the eye.
Sighing, I lift her chin with my finger, placing my lips softly against hers. I pull back before we can go further. Looking in her eyes, I explain what has been going on. "Leah is my Second, I rely on her to have my back and cover for me, which means I will have to spend some time with her. Things have been rough for her lately. She didn't take the news about Embry imprinting too well either. When he was fighting it, she was ok, but after he accepted Lillah, things haven't been good for her. It's just her and Seth that haven't imprinted now. She thinks something is wrong with them, especially her."
Her palm brushes my cheek as she hesitantly presses the question into my mind, "Ok, but why has she been texting you so much?"
"I was afraid you had noticed that, but when you didn't say anything, I assumed you weren't bothered." I frown, "I'm sorry, I should have just told you, but I thought it was easier to keep quiet."
I give her my best smile and kiss her cheek, "No more secrets."
She nods her head in agreement, "No more secrets." She clears her throat, "The texts?"
"Leah feels like she doesn't fit in. Not with the guys, or the imprints. I was trying to be a good Alpha to her, be there for her when she needed to talk. Most of the time she just needed to clear her head. Leah and I have a weird bond. I wouldn't call it friendship so much as a mutual understanding. She isn't going to be happy with me now that you know." Her face scrunches up with the question she doesn't ask. I shrug, "The whole 'misery loves company' idea. I'm no longer in misery."
I can see that she's letting this roll around in her mind. Ness frowns first, probably understanding Leah's feelings of being an 'outsider'. But then her smile is wide as she wraps her arms around my neck. I can just barely hear her whisper, "About the misery- I'm so happy to hear you say that you no longer feel that way."
I want to pull her lips back to mine, but instead I take in a deep gulp of air. Now that things are cleared about Leah, my need to make sure my imprint is taken care of kicks in again. "You still need to hunt."
"Will you join me?" she asks as she leans back to look me in the eye. There is a spark of excitement in her voice that I can't deny.
"I'll go with you, but I can't hunt. Dad wants us to come over for dinner, if you don't have plans? I figured we could go work on your car after?"
She hugs me tight, her fingers again playing with my hair. Her lips move over my ear as she whispers, "Sounds like a plan to me."
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A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Don't forget to hit that little review button. See you next time!