Chapter 11 "Puzzle Piece"
Disclaimer: Sadly, still not SM. If we were we'd have the h00r house of our dreams. With pretty boys fanning us while we write all day. Until then, it's work, life, and squeezing in writing when we can.
A/N: Quite a few people asked us about "Tathut". It is our best estimation as pale faces of the Quileute word for "heart". Apologies on not mentioning this in the last chapter's A/N, but don't worry, Jake will explain soon.
Cause when I'm kissin you my senses come alive
Almost like the puzzle piece I've been trying to find
Falls right into place you're all that it takes
My doubts fade away when I'm kissin you
When I'm kissin you it all starts making sense
And all the questions I've been asking in my head
Like are you the one should I really trust
Crystal clear it becomes when I'm kissin you
"Kissing You" - Miranda Cosgrove
NPOV
-0-
Jacob has his phone in one hand and a fork full of food in the other. I'm doing my best not to laugh, but it's difficult.
"Jacob, I'm finished, I can talk to Embry while you eat," I offer, holding my hand out for the phone.
He shakes his head and gives me a wink. "You got it, man. Putting in the order right now. See you shortly."
Jacob closes the phone, setting it down as he stuffs the food in his mouth. As he's chewing, he lifts his head to grab our waitress' attention. He manages to swallow just as she walks over. I watch as he orders three platters of food, plus a couple of side dishes. While I know the guys do eat a lot, that is a bit much for just Embry.
Catching me giving him a curious look he explains as the waitress walks away, "Embry is hungry and he says the hospital food sucks. He asked me to pick up food for him, Lillah, and Kim."
"Oh. That's sweet of him," I offer, picking at what is left of my blueberry muffin. I'm not really hungry, yesterday's hunt filled me up like food can't, but I know better than to not eat with Jacob around.
He eyes me, "He has an ulterior motive. He wants to make sure Lillah eats properly."
"Embry worries too much." Shaking my head I push my plate away.
Jacob shrugs as he shoves more food into his mouth. Grabbing his glass of milk he practically drinks it in one gulp before speaking again. "It's in our nature to worry about our," he looks around then whispers, "imprints. We can't help it. If anything were to happen to any of you," he shudders, "it would kill us."
Sliding my chair over so I'm sitting next to him, I reach out for his hand as I lean my head against his shoulder. "I know Jake." I focus on sharing my thoughts through the connection of our hands. "I feel the same way."
He glances down at me with a small smile and I know he got the message. He doesn't say anything more, returning to eating his breakfast. Even though we are in public, I feel like we are in our own little private cocoon. The diner is busy, but it's mostly people coming in to grab something to-go before heading to work. I almost forgot it was Monday; my days are all messed up after everything that has happened recently.
The sound of a chair at our table being pulled back jerks me to attention. I sit up straight, surprised I had dozed off. When I look toward the source of the noise, my mother is looking back at me with a smirk on her perfect face.
"Comfortable?" She winks at me.
I glance up at Jacob and he's smiling down at me. "How long was I asleep?"
"Just a few minutes, I've barely finished my food."
Since it's just Mom at the table, I feel safe returning my head to its resting place against Jacob's bicep. Giving her a soft smile I answer her question, "Actually, yes, I'm very comfortable."
"Glad to hear it." She places a big pink bag on the table. "This is for Halona, from your father and me."
Sitting up, I look around the bag at her, "Mom, I told Dad nothing too outrageous."
"I know, the only thing I bought was the outfit. The big part of the gift is- gently used."
Biting my lip, I turn to Jacob. He shakes his head but stands to peek into the bag. When he sits back down he's laughing. "Gently used is an understatement, Bella."
"What is it?"
He chuckles again, speaking low so just Mom and I can hear him, "One of the many things Rose bought when you were born. It's a bouncy-rocker thing, you hated it."
Mom moves the package to the floor as she stands up. She gives me a quick grin before turning back to Jacob, "Funny, Rose told me a little different story when I called to ask her where she had stored it. Said something about every time she tried to put Ness in that thing, you would pick her right up. Bye you two, have a good day."
Mom is out of the diner before we can say anything. When I turn back to Jacob to ask if what she just said is true, he's grinning down at me. "I liked holding you, even then. Seriously though, you did not like that thing. Your little nose would scrunch up when Rose put you in it."
"That doesn't mean I didn't like it!" I scoff at him, shaking my head.
He leans over, placing his lips softly against my cheek before moving to my ear. "Maybe not," he whispers, his warm breath sending a thrill of excitement through my body, "but you liked being held by me more."
I want to make a comment, but he pulls back before I can. Tucking my hair behind my ear, he smiles at me brightly, "You ready?'
I'm excited to see Lillah and the baby, but I don't want to move from our cozy little spot. Now that I know I won't lose him, I never want to let go of him. The decision is made for me when the waitress drops off a bag containing Embry's order. If there is one thing I know, it's you should never come between a wolf and his food. Especially when that food is for his imprint, who just had his baby.
-0-
Lillah and I keep our eyes on the door until it is completely closed. "I know he needs to phase, but I miss him already."
"Same." Jacob and Embry just left for a run, leaving Lillah and I alone in her hospital room. It was good of Jacob to take Embry out, but I miss my best friend. Spending all day yesterday with him spoiled me. Having him close feels normal now, and when he isn't beside me, I feel like part of me is missing.
Lillah exhales softly. She twists away from the door to face me, opening her arms, "It seems like forever since I've seen you." I don't need any more of an invitation, quickly moving to hug her.
"It was just one day," I laugh as I pull back to sit in the chair beside her bed.
"Right! A whole day in which you finally knew you were Jacob's imprint. That's a very important day." Her cheeks turn bright pink and she bites her lip as a smile crosses her face, "Yeah, a very very important day."
"What does that mean?" I ask as she continues to blush.
She shakes her head, but before she can respond, a nurse opens the door, wheeling a small cart into the room. "Everything checks out. She's doing great so far. Looks like you two will be clear to leave tomorrow." The nurse checks a chart then lifts the baby out, "And it's time for another feeding, Mom."
Lillah lifts an eyebrow at me, "Do you mind if I feed her while we talk?"
"No, go ahead," I wave at her. I'm amazed watching her with Halona; she really is a natural at this. Once she gets her little girl settled, the nurse leaves the room.
When the door clicks, Lillah turns back to me, "Ok, so, first day." I can see the blush rising in her cheeks again. "Tell me all about it."
"Ok, but first you have to explain yourself. What happened on your first day of knowing that has you turning beet red?"
Her face breaks out into a huge smile as her thumb slides gently over the fine dark auburn hair on Halona's head, "I'm pretty sure this little one was created on that day."
"Oh." I don't know what else to say.
The smile remains on Lillah's face; she seems lost in memories, "That's not all that happened; we finally admitted we loved one another. Embry moved in and proposed. That day; it changed everything in my life."
"I can't imagine a day getting any better," I whisper, recalling the amazing day I spent with Jacob.
Her chuckle brings me out of my thoughts, "There's more to come." Her head tilts down toward Halona, "Have you felt the baby urge yet?"
"What?" I gasp, unsure what she is even asking.
"Maybe it was just me then. Emily, Kim, and Rachel said they never felt it." Lillah shrugs. "Even before I knew about Embry imprinting, as soon as I met him, it was like a switch was flipped in my heart. When I saw Eli or Claire, all I could think about was how much I wanted a baby. And not just any baby, I wanted Embry's baby."
My head starts shaking even before she's done speaking, "No. That was definitely not something I was thinking about." Even though I've said this to Jacob, I'm still scared to admit it to Lillah. I know she won't judge me, but it's hard to explain, "I don't even think I'm ready to get married, let alone think about having a family. Jacob said we don't have to, but I don't know."
Lillah pats my hand, "If you aren't ready, then Jacob will understand. Most likely, he isn't ready either. That's just one of the many crazy-wonderful things about imprinting."
I feel relieved to hear her say that. Even though I know what Jacob said, it's good to get some confirmation from a fellow imprintee.
"Now, tell me about your first day as Jacob's imprint. What made it one of the best days of your life?"
I hesitate for just a second before grinning at her, "We kissed."
"And?" she asks as she switches Halona over to her other side.
"It was amazing," I sigh, remembering the perfection of that first moment when I felt his lips against mine.
"Oh come on, you can't just leave me there. This was your first kiss with your wolf! I need way more detail." She's laughing but so obviously excited for me that it makes me giggle too.
"It might be easier if I just show you," I offer, holding my hand up. While I typically don't use my gift outside of my family and Jacob, in this instance, it will be a lot easier to use than to try to explain everything. It's not the first time I've shared something with Lillah this way, so I feel comfortable offering this option up to her.
My friend nods enthusiastically and I quickly place my hand against her cheek, closing my eyes, I let the memories from yesterday flow from my mind. I go ahead and show her a brief summary of the day, starting with waking up in his arms all the way up until I fell asleep talking to him on the phone.
Once I'm done she sighs dreamily, "Oh Ness. I'm so happy for you. It really was a pretty perfect day. Well, other than your dad and Paul." She waves her hand like those two "problems" are no big deal.
"Yeah, other than those two." Removing my hand from her face, I lean back into the chair.
Lillah gives me a knowing smile, "I'm sure your dad will come around. Trust me, my dad was not a happy camper when he met Embry. Now though, they gang up against me." She rolls her eyes but her smile never fades, "Edward just wants to protect you."
"I know, Jacob and my mom said the same thing. The problem is, even though I know now, he's still trying to control my relationship with Jacob. He wants to put all these rules on when I can be with Jacob and listening in on my conversations with him. He didn't even want me to accept Jacob's imprint. He actually suggested I still go to school and only see Jacob on the weekends."
Tears are starting to form in my eyes, but I do my best to blink them away. Lillah sighs, looking down at Halona before turning back to me, grasping my hand in hers. "I don't envy you right now. Dads are very protective of their little girls. Embry has already said Hallie won't date until she's at least thirty." My gasp of shock quickly turns into a laugh. Lillah shakes her head, "I know, I pity any man that is interested in our daughter. Your dad will come around, he knows Jacob is what is best for you. He just doesn't want to let you go.
"As for Paul," she chuckles, "you were right on the money with your explanation to Jacob. That is just something you'll both have to get accustomed to. He still randomly asks Embry if he's had sex with me yet. It makes Embry so mad, but that's what Paul wants. He loves to get Embry and all of the other guys riled up. Looks like you did everything right last night; just keep your cool and help Jacob to do the same and Paul will drop it."
I nod, agreeing with her on both of her assessments. Trust in Lillah to know what to say to me.She truly is a great confidant, especially since she understands what I'm going through, adjusting to knowing the truth.
She checks Halona, moving her up closer to her shoulder and rubbing her back gently. "Now, going back to the imprintee question you asked Jacob yesterday, about feeling the need to close the gap? We all feel that way too. Emily and I have talked about this quite a lot.
"Best way I can explain it is imprinting is the last piece in a puzzle that makes us complete. It pulls the whole picture together; without that piece, the puzzle isn't finished. As much as I know how intense imprinting is for the guys, we feel the same intensity. You are that last piece for Jacob just as he is for you. You fit each other, perfectly, and you make each other whole."
Her analogy makes sense, however, there's another part about imprinting I need to clarify with her. I'm a little anxious to ask, but I need to know, to understand if what I'm feeling is 'normal'. Lillah's smile is inviting when I glance up at her, giving me the confidence to ask, "You mentioned the intensity. Is it always that way? It feels like I can't get enough. Jacob says we are moving fast, but every time he touches me, I want more."
Lillah looks thoughtful for a moment, "You are still pretty young, I probably shouldn't say this to you. If your father is anything like Embry-."
I'm scared for just a moment that she will hold back. Just when I'm considering begging her, she takes a deep breath and shakes her head, "You need to know though, you are going to want more," she says, though she seems hesitant still. "And more. Lots more. It's easy to let things get out of hand, Ness. A kiss leads to making out, making out leads to touching, and touching leads to sex... pretty fast. I can see why Jacob would want to be cautious."
I nod my head, understanding what she means but also agreeing; the summary she just gave is exactly how I'm feeling right now. I'm so glad to know this need I feel to go further isn't some weird vampire-hybrid thing. "I know." I sigh, "He doesn't want to push me, but that's the thing Lillah, he's not pushing me. I- have wanted these things with him for a while. It's not a recent development, but it's so much more intense now. Now that we've kissed, I can't get enough."
"Have you told him? That you want more?" She adjusts the baby so that she is snuggled up tight in her arms. Now that she is done feeding, I have an unobstructed view of Embry and Lillah's daughter. While I have the opportunity, I take stock in myself for a moment while I consider how to answer Lillah's question.
My eyes stay locked on Halona and I try to listen to my heart. The little girl is adorable, but that is all I see. When I try to picture myself in Lillah's position, holding a child in my arms, the image seems so far in the future that it is blurry and unfocused in my mind. I can't absolutely deny that I want that, someday, but it isn't what my heart is yearning for right now.
Right now, I want Jacob beside me. I want to make up for the time we were kept apart. My desire to be with Jacob and develop our relationship is all consuming; nothing else matters to me.
Returning my gaze to Lillah I shake my head, "Not yet." Sighing I give her a soft smile, "Any suggestions on how to best go about it? He seems pretty set on stopping things with me before we can go too far."
She winks at me, "Best advice I received was to seduce Embry."
The blood all rushes to my cheeks. The thought is both appealing and embarrassing. Like I would even know how to seduce someone. I don't even know if Jacob wants to be seduced.
"Oh believe me, he does," Lillah grins at me. I stare at her, my brows furrowed in concentration. "Ness, Jake only wants to protect you, to give you what you need. If what you need is-," Lillah tilts her head to the side, "more from him, then he will be more than willing to give it to you. You just might have to push him to realize that's what you need."
My cheeks feel like they should be red-hot with how much I'm blushing over this topic. If Jacob were here, I know he'd tell me the fact that I'm so embarrassed by this conversation means I'm not ready, but that's not true. While there is a level of embarrassment, it has more to do with my lack of knowing what to do; I have no clue how to seduce Jacob. I realize we have plenty of time, as he stated, but my hormones don't agree; I need more of him, but I don't know how to go about getting what I want. I've studied human sexuality, but I've never had more than a cursory conversation about sex. Mom sat me down to explain the basics a few years ago and Grandaddy Carlisle talked with me when I had my first period, but that's been about it.
This is completely new territory for me and there are very few people I can talk to about this subject. Definitely not Jacob, my parents, or my grandparents. The other imprintees are really my best resources for knowing how to handle my changing relationship with Jacob. These women know how to best handle these wolves, but that doesn't make asking the questions or hearing the answers any less embarrassing.
It's on the tip of my tongue to ask her more specific questions when the door opens. Embry is smiling as he walks toward Lillah and Halona just as I feel myself being picked up and carried from the chair I was sitting in.
About the time I feel my back hit the wall my mind catches up to what is going on. Whoa. His eyes, dark, intense, and locked on mine, are the first thing I recognize, but everything else quickly registers; familiar strong arms holding me tight to his chest, the sound of his heart pounding roughly, and his rich woodsy scent surrounding me tell me everything I need to know. My Jacob has returned to me.
I manage to say his name on my exhale of relief but that is all. His chest crushes me against the wall just as his lips attack mine. My arms jerk around his neck without thought, my fingers gripping his hair tightly to keep myself glued to him. Guess I don't need to seduce him.
Just as I arch my back, wanting to feel even more of him, I hear the growl deep in his chest. In the space of half a heartbeat, everything about Jacob changes.
Though we've kissed before, the intensity is suddenly increased. The hands he had locked on my waist lower to my hips then around, to my ass. He squeezes tight just as his tongue invades my mouth. My gasp of surprise is devoured by him. I'm no longer in control of my body, I'm at his mercy. Of course, I don't mind; I'll happily let him lead me wherever.
When one of his hands starts to slide away from my ass I want to beg him not to stop. Using my hand against his neck I try to tell him what I want, but he has different plans. Before I realize his intention, his hand is under my knee, lifting my leg and wrapping it around his hip. I'm clawing at his neck, desperate to get closer, to feel all of him, when he finally presses all of his body into mine. HELLO!
I'm trapped between the wall and Jacob; I've never been happier. With my leg around his hip I feel him hard up against me. Despite the clothes between us, I want to feel more. I'm shifting my hips and considering if he has a tight enough grip on me to hold me, when his lips abruptly leave mine. What?
Through my gasps of breath I hear something; a familiar howl-like sound. The wolf call. The pack uses it in their human forms to announce themselves, but I don't understand why I would be hearing it now. And it's not just Embry making the sound; as the fog in my mind clears I realize there are others joining in; Sam, Paul, and Jared.
Female voices also start to break through my fog.
Oh crap. What just happened here?
"What brought it on?" Emily asks, serious mixed with a little bit of worry.
"I'm not sure. As soon as he and Embry got back he just- attacked." The laughter in Lillah's voice is soothing, but it doesn't match her words. Her voice drops to a whisper, but I still hear her clearly, "Lucky girl, Embry is never that rough with me." This really confuses me. Rough? Jacob wasn't rough with me. Aggressive, but not rough. Although, now that I think about it, rough doesn't sound too bad either.
The next sigh I hear is distinctively Rachel, "Paul used to be like that with me, but not since we found out I'm pregnant. He's been so hands off I've had to threaten to divorce him to get sex."
"Ness is so lucky. I can't wait until I can kiss my Quily." My gaze stays locked on Jacob's neck when Claire's little voice fills my ears.
Claire's sigh is quickly followed by Sam's growl, "Not until you are grown up, Claire. Like thirty at least. See what you've done, Jacob?"
My eyes jerk up to Jacob's, but he doesn't look upset. There is a huge grin on his face. He leans forward, our lips just barely touching as he whispers, "I missed you."
His lips pass slowly over mine, but just as I'm considering pulling him closer he twists his head away from mine. "Sorry Sam. I blame Jared."
"Hey!" Jared's growl is laced with a hint of laughter as Jacob slowly lowers me back down to the floor. Jacob's hands stay locked on my hips. He pulls me against his chest and I place my ear directly over his heart. I feel him turn us around so he can face the room, but I don't look up right away. Instead I focus on the steady bump of his heart to calm my own racing pulse. Of course, the voices in the room are loud enough that I can hear them too. "How is-," Jared goes quiet for a moment, "THAT my fault?"
I'm so giddy in this moment that I could care less what everyone else thinks. Jacob is here holding me; everything in my world is perfect.
Jacob's hand cupping my face surprises me. I expected him to answer Jared, but instead he speaks directly to me when our eyes meet. "Jared reminded me of something we still need to talk about."
"What?" I don't bother asking aloud, knowing the thought is so strong and simple he'll receive the message.
Jacob lowers his head, his mouth brushing my ear as he whispers for me, "He asked about an update on you leaving for school."
"Oh," I sigh, realizing we haven't broached that topic yet. I was too afraid to, and now that I've spent a day with him, I'm no longer certain what I'm going to do. Maybe I can just stay here and make out with him every day for the rest of my life.
"He also showed me a few things," Jacob says softly, though I can hear worry in his voice.
I lean back, wanting to see his eyes so I can soothe him. "What things, Jake? What's wrong?" I ask, my hand caressing his cheek.
He sighs, closing his eyes he leans forward again, his mouth aligned perfectly with my ear, "He reminded me what it was like for him when Kim was gone. How lost he was without her by his side." He takes a gulp of air before he leans back. His eyes are locked on mine as he speaks softly, "I'll do anything to keep you close, Ness. I can't lose you, not now that we are finally together."
My heart sinks. The impromptu decision I made so many months ago to leave Forks to protect myself is now coming back to haunt me. It seemed so simple then; leave before Jacob imprints on someone else, leave before I could get hurt. What I never considered was both of us hurting by being apart. Jacob's words are an echo of what my own heart is screaming now. I can't leave him.
His eyes leave mine and his voice is louder as he speaks to the room, "We've got to go. I'll see you guys at the shop later."
My hands reach to grip Jacob's as I spin to face the room again. Lillah's smile is all I see and she gives me a nod, "It's fine. We'll talk tomorrow."
There is a chorus of goodbye's shouted as Jacob leads me out, just before we reach the door he spins around to face the group again, a weird look on his face. His eyes dart to Lillah as he speaks, "You told her to seduce me?"
My cheeks flame with embarrassment as the entire room bursts into laughter. Once they calm down Lillah's voice is clear and strong as she shrugs at Jacob, "I let her in on a little secret for how to deal with her wolf. You guys can be stubborn, but so can we."
I'm a little surprised when I hear Jacob howl in laughter. "Fair enough. See you later."
"Oh, and Jacob?" Rachel pipes up before we can take a step.
"Yeah, sis?"
Rachel winks at me before turning back to Jacob, "Do whatever it takes to keep Ness here. We don't want to lose her either."
Tears jump to my eyes and I twist into Jacob's chest before they can see. His hand slides along my back soothingly as he leads me out, speaking to the room as he leaves, "I'll do my damnedest, Rach."
-0-
When Jacob stops the car I don't recognize the strip of beach in front of us. Before I can ask where we are, he's out of the car and beside me. I don't even have the opportunity to move his arms are under me so fast, easily scooping me up.
"Jake," I squeal, giggling as I wrap my arms around his neck.
"Don't even pretend like you don't like me holding you," he grins down at me. Before I can consider how to respond, he short-circuits my brain by nipping at my bottom lip.
My heart leaps in my chest as I automatically pull myself even closer to him. His lips move lightly over mine as he whispers, "You are driving me crazy right now."
He lowers his body down, sitting. I can hear the waves crashing behind me, but the ocean holds no appeal right now. Once I'm settled on his lap, his hands cup my face. It's on the tip of my tongue to ask him what he means, but he beats me to the punch, explaining himself in a rough voice that sets my body on fire. "Even if you never shared another thought with me, your body screams to me. Your heartbeat, breathing, eyes, and even your scent changes when we are close. It's like you are calling me to you."
"Jacob," I sigh, leaning closer, desperate to feel his lips against mine again.
His smile grows, "Your voice changes too, its deeper, more breathy."
My hand moves over his face as I share how his voice makes me feel. His growl is powerful and the only warning I have before his hands dig into my hair and tug my face to his. My entire body is shaking like a tuning fork from the force behind his movements. The excitement in this new side of him is pushing me to meet him with the same level of intensity. I'm not sure what has caused it, but I am loving this change in him.
Swiftly I bring my hands to his neck, digging my nails into his skin. I use the force to pull my body closer to his. My tongue slides into Jacob's mouth just as his hands drop from my hair to my waist. I'm eager to have him adjust my position so I can feel him hard against me again. Instead, he tortures me in a different way.
He pulls back slightly. "Jake." My voice sounds whiny even to my own ears, but I can't help it. Stopping is the hardest part. I don't ever want to stop once we start kissing. Now that I've had a taste of his desire, I want that power to overtake my body again and again.
He pulls my hands from around his neck, placing them in my lap so that no part of our skin is touching, though I'm still sitting in his lap. When I glance up questioningly he groans.
"We need to focus right now and I can't do that with you showing me how us kissing makes you feel." He leans forward, his nose and forehead resting against mine. "You are seriously killing my self control."
Lifting my lips, I kiss him softly as I whisper, "What do you mean?"
"When we are kissing, I have a very hard time distinguishing my own thoughts from yours. I hear what we both want, how much more we are both craving, and it's very hard to stop."
Of their own accord, my hands move from my lap to the edge of Jake's shirt, pushing up slowly to find his warm bare skin underneath. "I don't want you to stop." Pressing my lips hard against his I push the next thought out from my mind into his, "I want more, Jake."
This time it's Jacob that shakes. His arms grip my shoulders, but instead of pulling me closer, he pushes me back. Taking a couple of deep breaths he finally looks me in the eye, "I hear you, Tathut, but right now we need to figure out something more important."
Sighing I drop my eyes from his; twisting my head away to look out across the waves I only heard before. Before my gaze lands on the waves a house catches my eye. The structure isn't huge, but the wall of glass is spectacular. The little bit of light from the sun reflects off the glass. There is also a small porch across the front and it looks like it backs right up to the forest edge. I've never seen this house before, but it looks strangely familiar.
Jacob speaking returns my focus to our much needed conversation. "Ness, what do you want?"
The answer to that question is easy, "You."
"Besides me," he chuckles as his hands move my head back around to face him. His eyes meet mine and while I can see laughter, there is also worry. "Do you want to go to school?"
Biting my lip I move my head up and down, "Yes, but I don't want to leave you, Jacob. We've already lost so much time because of my dad."
"Shhh," he slides his thumb over my lips, pressing softly. "I don't want you to leave, but if college is really what you want, then it's what I want for you too."
"Kim told me what it was like for her when she went away." Remembering the physical agony she described, I can no longer sit up straight. My body curls in on itself and I lean into Jacob's chest. "I don't think I'll make it without you near. I want to go to college, but I want to be with you more than just on the weekends."
His arms surround me and I feel him start moving back and forth, rocking me. "If you want to go to college, then I want you to go." He repeats.
"Even if it means only seeing each other on the weekends?" I'm close to tears at just the thought of being separated from Jacob for five days a week.
His voice is rough, "I'm not strong enough to make it that long without seeing you."
"Then I can't go. I won't have you in pain again." As much as it saddens me to give up school, my single priority is Jacob. He is all that matters to me.
"I won't be in pain if I'm in Seattle with you," he whispers softly.
My head jerks up, my eyes searching his. "Jake, you can't leave the tribe."
His shrug seems careless, "There isn't a threat any longer, especially if Bella and Edward leave for Seattle too. No more vampires in Forks means the tribe is safe. There really wouldn't be a need for any of us to continue patrolling."
"But you're the Chief." My teeth latch on to my lip, worrying it as I wait for his response.
"Dad, Sue, and Sam could manage without me during the week if I needed to be in Seattle with you. We could still come back here on the weekends, right?"
"I- guess, but what about your pack?" The idea that Jacob might be willing to join me in Seattle is too good to be true, but he has so many responsibilities here in La Push. There's no way I could ask him to drop everything to be with me, just because I want to go to college.
Jacob doesn't seem as worried as I am, "Leah is a strong Second. If anything were to happen she could get a hold of me. I can be here in no time if I run straight through the national park."
Sitting up straight, I look him straight in the eye, "Jacob Black. Are you saying you'd be willing to come to Seattle to be with me?" This is important to me. I need to hear him say this.
"I will go anywhere in the world to be with you, Renesmee Cullen."
My heart stutters as I feel a smile take over my face, "Really?"
He laughs, "Really."
"What would you do in Seattle while I'm in school?" The idea of Jacob being alone while I take classes saddens me.
Once again, though, he doesn't seem worried. "I'll need a job. I bet there are plenty of car repair shops that could use an experienced mechanic."
"Jacob, this means leaving your family behind. I can't ask that of you."
His smile falls away, "It's not ideal, Ness, but if it makes you happy, we will figure something out. I may not be able to be in Seattle full time with you right away, but I promise you, I will do whatever it takes to be with you. I can't live without you, Ness. If that means some time away from my family, then that is a sacrifice I'm willing to make."
My heart swells at his words but I'm still worried, "Rachel won't be happy."
"She won't be happy, but she'll understand. I know they'd all prefer we stay here, but I'm not worried about them. All I care about is making you happy. If that means going away, then so be it."
As excited as I am at the prospect of Jacob joining me in Seattle, leaving my friends behind still hurts to think about. "I want to come back here, as much as possible."
"I thought you wanted to go to school?" Jacob looks so confused that I can't help laughing.
Shaking my head I smile at him, "I do want to go to school, but I want to be here too, as much as possible, around school."
"So you want it all?" he asks, laughing as he speaks.
"Yes," I giggle, "is that too much to ask?"
"Absolutely not." He grins at me and gives me a soft kiss on the lips. "Don't worry about my responsibilities, I will figure all of that out. We will make this work."
"So I guess I need to tell Dad school is on." I'm about to start smiling when the reality sinks in, "And tell him that you will be joining us. Where-?"
"Stop Ness, leave all of the rest to me. You just focus on preparing for school, I'll take care of everything else."
"Jake, no-," my hand on his face presses my "voice" into his mind.
He chuckles, "You worry too much. It will all work out. All that matters is that we are together, and that is what I'm focused on. Trust me, it will be fine."
His phone buzzing startles both of us. When he pulls it out, it's just the alarm going off. "Time for me to get to work." He sighs, "Come on, I'll take you home."
"I'll see you after work, right?" I ask, reaching for him to keep him close.
He grins, "Nothing could keep me from seeing you tonight. I need more of your sweet kisses."
The moment his lips touch mine, all worry leaves me. My faith in him is absolute. It might not be easy, we may have to be separated from friends and family, but I know Jacob will do whatever it takes to keep us together. Being with him is most important to me, because without him, I'm incomplete.
-0-
"You look happy!" Mom beams at me as I walk into the cottage.
When I drop onto the couch, she pulls me close, "That good of a day?"
"Jacob and I talked about school," I whisper.
"I take it that conversation went well?"
Pressing my hand against her cheek I speak slowly, cautiously, "I want to go to school, which he supports."
"Your father will be very happy to hear that."
Dad walks into the living room carrying a stack of books. He sets them down on the table and sits down on Mom's other side. "Something is going to make me happy? Could it be you are already sick and tired of Jacob?"
Dad gives me a wink. I'm a little taken aback by his joking, but glad to see him starting to return to the man I know and love.
I give him a small smile, "No, definitely not sick and tired of Jacob. But we did talk about school, and he supports me wanting to go to college."
Dad's face breaks out into a huge grin, "That does makes me very happy."
"Are you sure you can be away from Jacob that long?" Mom asks, a concerned look on her face.
"Well," I whisper, "Jacob said he wants to join me in Seattle."
Dad groans, "I don't like it."
"Edward," Mom whispers, "if it means her going to school, we will have to accept this compromise."
"What is he planning to do there while you go to school?" Dad asks, his eyes narrowed.
I shrug, "Jacob said he'll figure it out, that I'm not to worry about that."
Mom laughs, "That boy, always taking the weight of the world on his shoulders."
"Should I worry about it?" I ask, scared to look at her.
"If Jacob says he'll figure it out, I trust him," Mom grins at me, "he has yet to let us down."
Dad sighs, "I guess we should let Esme know to start looking for him a place."
He stands and leaves the room, taking his cell phone out of his pocket. My hand leaps to my mother's face, "Mom," I plead.
She glances down at me, "What baby?"
"I- don't want to be separated from him." My words are cautious in case my father hears my thoughts through her mind.
She looks confused for a moment and then understanding crosses her face. She sighs, "Ok, I'll try to figure something out." She lowers her voice and looks me in the eye, "We need to- talk though. Soon, and when your father isn't around."
I can guess what she wants to talk about but I clear my mind in case Dad catches on. She gives me a smile, "Is Jacob at work?"
"Yeah," I lean back against her shoulder, "he's coming over after though."
"Want me to make some dinner for you two?" she offers.
Dinner. I'm suddenly struck with the realization that I don't know how to cook. I mean, I know the basics, but not much more than that. Mom has always cooked, so I've never worried about it. Now that Jacob and I are together though, I need to hone that skill. Jacob eats, a lot. If Mom manages to change Dad's mind- well, I'll need to be able to cook while we are in Seattle.
"Do you mind if I help?" I ask hopefully.
I feel her shaking her head back and forth and laughing, "Sure, I can teach you a few things. You might want to ask a few of your friends for pointers too, especially for feeding their men."
I catch her meaning and give her a quick kiss on the cheek, "You're the best, Mom."
"I love you, too," she winks as I jump up from the couch. "You just let me know when you are ready, we'll head up to the main house. I assume that's where you and Jacob will be hanging out tonight?"
"I guess," I shrug, unsure of Jacob's plans, but not too worried.
I can hear Dad speaking on the phone as I head for my bedroom. Shutting the door, I move to sit beside my bed on the floor. The sketch book I grab falls open to the picture I drew after the bonfire. The intensity and focus on Embry and Jared's faces is clear. There is no question what matters to them in life; their wives and children. When I drew this, having Jacob look at me the same way was just a pipe dream. Now, I can honestly say not only have I received this look, I'm pretty certain I've returned it. Sitting here alone in the quiet of my room, his scent all over, I know he is my everything.
I turn the sketch book over and start drawing on a blank piece of paper. I start out drawing Jacob but somehow other details in the sketch start taking precedence. Behind his smiling face my hand details out the house on the beach I saw today. I'm not sure why I'm so fascinated by that house, but I don't worry about it, letting the thoughts empty from my mind onto the paper.
Once that picture is complete, I flip to another page, this time drawing out Lillah holding Halona in her arms. I'm hopeful there are enough pictures in my mind to pass the time until Jacob is done with work. I need it to distract me so I don't think about how much I miss him right now. Just thinking about missing him makes my heart ache.
My phone beeps and I bounce in excitement when I see it's a message from Jacob.
I miss your sweet lips ~J
Giggling I take a quick picture with my phone and send it to him with a message.
They miss you too! ~N
-0-
A/N: We know. Two weeks is a lifetime in fic world. Alas, it is but a blip on the radar when trying to write. But don't worry, we'll be back in two weeks. Until then, enjoy summer and don't forget to hit that little review button.