Chapter 12 "Crazy Over You"
Disclaimer: Guarantee we aren't SM. She definitely would not write this chapter. We make her characters do dirty stuff.
A/N: Just a little warning, these two are moving fast. While we encourage reading as soon as we post, you may want to wait until you can read this chapter in private if there is a chance you could be busted at work. Hope you like!
I love your body
and the way you move your hips
Your lips are honey
You're a candy flavored kiss
Baby you're sweet like a Sunday afternoon
I'm goin' crazy cause I'm crazy over you
"Only Everything" - Marc Broussard
JPOV
-0-
The day is dragging by. It feels like weeks have passed since I last saw Ness instead of the few hours it has actually been. Memories of the last few days flood my mind, making me even more anxious to get back to her.
While being separated from Ness has never been easy, now that I've had a taste of her it's not just my heart that is aching at her absence. My intention has always been to take things slow, but I'm learning that isn't what she wants. After our kiss in Lillah's hospital room, I don't know if I'll be able to slow things down. Not that I'm complaining, but it's complicated balancing my need for her and remembering that she's still a "teenager" living with her parents. Parents that will literally rip me apart if they knew what I was thinking about doing to their daughter; or what I've already done with their daughter. As understanding as Bella has been so far, I'm pretty sure she'd tear me apart if she knew how badly I want to rip Ness' clothes off and devour her; Edward wouldn't hesitate to help her.
Slamming the hood down on the car, I glance up at the clock. Barely ten minutes have passed since the last time I checked. The time apart today is crawling by, and it has only helped support my decision to go wherever Ness wants to go. Being apart is not an option.
"What's next?" I ask Sam, handing over the keys to the car I just finished up.
When he turns to face me, he pauses for a second then starts laughing. When he doesn't stop I take a deep breath, doing my best not to get frustrated, "What?"
"Shit, sorry man," he rubs his hand across his face, attempting to stop laughing. "This is your first day away from her, isn't it? I mean, since you told her."
"Yeah," I groan, unable to hide my growing agitation.
He hands me a set of keys, "In that case, go fix the steering system in this car. The tie rods are shot at the very least, but the system needs a complete overhaul."
Taking the keys from him, I don't comment. I'm just thankful for the distraction. I wave over my shoulder at him as I walk away. This project should take the rest of the day and all of my concentration to diagnose the problem.
"Hey Jake!"
I look back at Sam and he has an understanding look on his face. "We've all been there. Talking to her helps the time pass a little faster. Just make sure you still get your work done."
"Thanks man," I say, nodding as I head to the car on the other side of the shop. Once I reach the car I pocket the keys and pull my phone out. I type out the first thing that comes to my mind and hit send.
I miss your sweet lips ~J
To distract myself I start grabbing all the tools I could possibly need on this job. Just as I roll the creeper over next to the car, my phone beeps. Pulling the phone from my pocket, I can feel myself grinning in excitement over what she might have said back to me. However, my face quickly changes when I open the message.
I'm pretty sure I have that fish mouth thing going on as my jaw drops in shock and I repeatedly work to pull it back up. Ness has sent me a picture of herself blowing me a kiss. It's not like it's provocative but it is sexy as hell. Her lips. Her. Lips. Those lips that drive me crazy; those lips I think about constantly are puckered up, coming through the phone right for me.
As if the picture isn't enough to kill me, I groan when I read her included message.
They miss you too! ~N
Does she have any idea what she does to me? I mean, really? I'm fighting myself to stay where I am, when all I want to do is go find her. Find her and show her how much I've missed her today. Instead, I tap out a response and try to remember my responsibilities.
Be happy to remind those lips how much I luv them 2night ~J
I pause before I send the message I've typed out. Is it too much? Will she get what I'm saying? There's nothing wrong with a little flirting, and I do love her lips. I press send before I can second guess myself any more.
I pocket my phone before she responds. Even though he was pretty understanding, I don't want to push my luck with Sam. The vibration and alert tone signal Ness has replied just as I use the creeper to roll beneath the hood of the car. I don't pull my phone out to check the message, forcing myself to work. As much as I'm dying to see her response, I need to look forward to something to make the time pass faster.
I sigh intermittently as I work, the waiting text burning a hole in my pocket.
It's going to be a long day.
-0-
By the time I've finished my shift at the shop I'm vibrating in anticipation. I almost don't bother stopping to shower before heading to see Ness. But when I look down at my filthy clothes I decide to take the time. She deserves more than me in a dirty t-shirt and jeans. Pulling my phone from my pocket I read the new text that has been teasing me all day. Running a hand over my face I groan in frustration.
I look forward to it. More than you know. ~N
My car smells like Ness and it's distracting me during the short drive home. I can't help but inhale her sweet scent, and think about her mouth until I have to shift my hips because my pants are uncomfortable, again. The change in our relationship is so fucking exciting, but it has happened so quickly that I feel like I'm a step behind, running to keep up. The last two days have been tortuous; all because she's switched gears on me, from shy girl that has never been kissed to a temptress that demands more. I never would have guessed she'd act like this; flirt, beg me to kiss her, want my hands on her. Remembering this new side to my girl is hot as hell and just serves to turn me on even more.
By the time I get inside I'm hard as a rock. Yanking my shirt over my head I toss it into the empty basket. I groan when the zipper of my jeans drags against my cock as I rid myself of those too. There's a level of relief I know all too well when I pull my boxer briefs off and I springfree.
My hand and my dick are good friends, but I haven't been this hard in a while, and I've never been hard like this because of Ness. Flipping on the shower I wait for the water to heat before stepping in. I try to ignore my dick while I soap up my hands and start washing my body. Moving my hands down my chest, to my stomach I realize I can't ignore the desire coursing through my veins. Her mouth in that picture has been torturing me for too long today. I wrap my fingers around my stiff flesh, hesitating only a little before stroking down.
Shit. God that feels good. I know it would feel even better if it weren't my own hand touching my skin. I don't know that Ness and I are ready for that kind of thing just yet, but it doesn't hurt to think about it. At least, I don't think it does. Fuck. Tracing the veins of my erection I work to get myself off. Running my palm over the head of my cock, then back down to the base. Jesus fuck that feels good. I move my hand faster, my body full of desperation now.
I really just need to finish this so I can dress and get to Ness. Fuck. Ness. Her lips. So sweet and soft and- My head falls against the shower wall as I come all over my hand. Well. That didn't take long at all; I should probably be ashamed of myself.
I wash off quickly, trying to ignore the fact that all it took was the thought of her lips to get me off. If we move much past kissing, at this rate, I'm probably going to embarrass myself in front of her.
Once I dry off and get dressed, I grab my phone, surprised to see a new message from Ness.
I'm at the main house. Hurry up, I want to kiss you. ~N
Fucking hell. I don't hesitate, jumping in the car and hauling ass to get to my imprint as soon as possible.
-0-
Just as I turn off the main road I see Edward standing there. As tempting as it is to try to run him over, I know he'll cause more damage to my car than my car will to him.
"Jacob." Edward says calmly as I exit the car. I slowly walk toward him, a frown on my face. Before I can even ask what he wants, he begins talking.
"Renesmee and Bella are talking. I thought we should do the same since we have a minute."
I wait cautiously, having no clue what it is that Edward wants to talk to me about. Any other time we've had a private discussion it has left me shredded on the inside. "What is it Edward?"
"I just need to know what your intentions are with my daughter."
The question leaves me fighting the urge to laugh. It's like we're stuck in a historical novel. "My intentions?"
"Yes, are you serious about following her to Seattle?"
I inhale deeply. I'm not sure if Edward knows about me wanting to go to Seattle with her because she told him or because he picked it out of her brain. While technically it doesn't matter how he found out, it would help me understand where he's coming from right now.
"She told me." He doesn't expand so I just nod, not commenting on his habit of picking through my mind. Since Ness told him, I think I can answer without any hesitation. Maybe this will ease some of the tension surrounding everyone, especially Ness; I don't like that she is in the middle of my ongoing disagreement with Edward.
"I'm serious about anything regarding her. If I need to follow her to Seattle, I'll do it happily." I stop, considering my next words while Edward and I stare at each other. "Maybe I'll even work on getting my GED, since I never went back to school on the Rez after- everything."
This seems to surprise Edward. He tilts his head back, sizing me up before speaking again. "I can help you with that. If you would like. Are you interested in furthering your education beyond your GED?"
The change in Edward's tone and the ease I see in his face surprises me. As I thought about joining Ness in Seattle today a random idea popped into my mind; what if I not only joined her in Seattle, but joined her at school? Higher education never held much appeal for me, but being with Ness all day, every day- that is appealing.
Edward sighs, "Never mind, clearly you are just interested in being next to her all day."
"Hey! Would you stop jumping to conclusions? Just because being with her is the appealing part doesn't mean I'm not interested in an education." Leaning back against the car I cross my arms over my chest, "If she's interested in learning, then so am I. I want to be able to talk about things she's passionate about, and that only comes from learning alongside her."
His eyes narrow for the briefest of seconds then his face clears and he gives me a slight nod. "Thank you for clarifying. I'll make a few phone calls to see what I can do to help."
I'm hopeful that maybe, just maybe, he's coming to accept my changing relationship with his daughter.
"On a separate note, I do understand that there is a very- physical- element to imprinting." My entire body goes on alert, concerned for where Edward might take this conversation. I'm surprised when he rolls his eyes at me, "All I was going to say was I know you and Renesmee have kissed." My eyes go wide in fear. Shit. This can't be good. I brace myself for his worst. "I'm not thrilled, of course, but I understand. I just wanted to say thank you for being respectful by restraining yourself from kissing her in front of us."
What just happened? My brain is in shock over this entire conversation. Edward knowing I've kissed his daughter is surprising; what's even more surprising is he hasn't ripped my balls off.
He clears his throat, "I'm trying to be more understanding of your relationship, for Renesmee's sake. I would give her the world if she wanted it. However, it appears what she wants most is to be by your side. Whether I like it or not, that is the reality of the situation we are in now. As Bella has so eloquently pointed out, I can either get on board with this or lose her completely, the choice is mine."
I'm too stunned to say anything. It seems, at least for the moment, that Edward is coming to accept my relationship with Ness.
"I do not want to lose her, so I'm getting on board. However, I ask that you do continue to be respectful that we are still her parents. If I hear things between you and Renesmee are going too- far, I will step in."
This somehow jump starts my brain. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Edward rolls his eyes at me before turning around and walking away. I'm just about to scream at him when I hear him speaking, "It means, I will rip your balls off if you get anywhere close to having sex with her."
Before I can say anything further, he's gone, running through the woods.
Well.
That was an enlightening conversation.
It also served as an effective method of turning me off completely. I'm not surprised by this reaction from Edward, more concerned how long he plans to hold his threat over my head. I know one thing, no way in hell am I telling Ness about that last part. I want her to be on good terms with her family. Based on our conversations and her pushing me for more constantly, if she knew about Edward's threat, I'm not sure she'd ever speak to her father again.
-0-
As much as my conversation with Edward deflated my dick, it had no impact on my excitement to be with Ness tonight. I've missed her.
When I pull up to the house, Bella comes bouncing down the stairs of the front porch, grinning. "She's inside waiting for you. I'm forcing Edward to take me out on a motorcycle ride tonight, which means I'm trusting you to behave. We'll be back by midnight."
"Thanks, Bells."
Her smile is blinding as she dashes past me. As my feet hit the top step of the porch I hear a motorcycle fire up. At least for the next couple of hours, I have my imprint all to myself. My body tingles with excitement, but I try to ignore it as I make my way into the house.
When I walk in, the living room is empty. "Ness?" I speak softly, though my voice echoes through the large space.
"In the kitchen," she calls back. The deep breathy sound of her voice alerts me; she's excited that I'm here, which turns me on. I can hear the anticipation in her voice. When I round the corner hands grab my shirt and pull. I catch that she's sitting on the counter just as I manage to brace my hands against the edge; her knees press against my hips and she tugs at my shirt again. I don't fight the momentum of my body, leaning forward until her lips are against mine.
It starts out slow and sweet. Her mouth is shy and tentative until I deepen the kiss. It doesn't take long for her to respond. She tastes just as sweet as I remember. With my mind still catching up my body takes over. My hand jerks from the counter to her hair, tugging on her silky strands as my tongue pushes into her mouth. Her hands drift to my neck. When I feel her nails again digging into my skin, my other hand moves to her thigh. I'm expecting jeans like earlier, so when I feel bare flesh lust kicks into overdrive. I let my fingers dance over her smooth thigh; running over the muscles beneath her delicate skin. I have no clue what she is wearing, but I know I'm way too close to going over the edge with her. It takes all of my might to move my fingertips away from the edge of the fabric of what she's wearing. When I reach her bare knee, I lift it and lean into her.
Releasing her lips I hear the sweet sound of her moaning my name. I groan, the sound bouncing and vibrating around us. Her body arches, pressing her against my chest. She's likely going to make me lose my mind. I want her. And the realization that we've gotten this far so fast shocks me. The only saving grace is that we are both fully clothed. If even one stitch of clothing was removed, I would not be able to stop us. Despite Edward's words, my need for her is uncontrollable. The best I can do is slow us down. For now.
Reluctantly, I remove my hand from her knee to cup her face, "That's one hell of a welcoming." Our panting breaths meld together between our open mouths. When I look into her eyes they are bright and wide and full of- damn.
"I wanted to surprise you," Ness grins wickedly at me before tugging my lips back to hers. This kiss is just as intense but I manage to keep my hands above her waist. Of course, that doesn't stop her from locking her legs around my hips and pulling me closer. Dropping my head I let my chin rest on my chest. My hips jerk and I feel the heat radiating from between her thighs. It feels so good I think my head may explode. Erm. Both of them.
I kiss beneath her jaw and place my hands on her hips, moving just under her shirt. She shifts her ass, scooting closer to the edge of the counter. Her hands move down my neck to my shoulders, trailing beneath the edge of my t-shirt. Short fingernails scrape against my skin; goosebumps pop up on the back of my neck and down my arms. Her fingers drift down my arms while I watch her face closely. She looks serious and awestruck. When she reaches the bend of my elbow and moves down the inside of my forearm, my dick jumps. How did she find that spot so quickly?
Needing space I take a step back and gulp in air. Ness pouts at me but I shake my head slowly, speaking softly, "I know, but we need to slow down. This is too much too soon."
"Jake," she whispers, "what's wrong with kissing?"
"Absolutely nothing," I whisper back, tucking her soft hair behind her ear, "but you know we weren't just kissing."
She gives me a smile, "Ok, fine, then what's wrong with making out?"
"We weren't just making out, either," I return her smile.
Her hand slides along my cheek, her question a breathy sigh in my mind, "Then what were we doing, Jacob?"
My hands find her hips, holding her tight where she sits. I step closer but make sure we are nowhere near touching. Dropping my forehead against hers, I whisper, "We were having sex with our clothes on."
Now it's her turn to do the fish mouth thing. Once she pulls herself together, she laughs at me and shakes her head no. I drop a kiss on her lips before whispering, "There was nothing wrong with it, but if I didn't stop us, I wasn't far from removing your clothes." Glancing down, I manage to see she's wearing shorts and not a skirt. While I'm relieved, that extra bit of fabric between her legs wouldn't have been enough of a barrier to stop me.
"Jacob?" she asks in my mind. She flashes the picture of my face tilted down away from her, asking what I'm thinking.
Taking a deep breath I explain myself, "When I touched your thigh before, I thought you still had on your jeans. I wasn't expecting bare skin. I fought myself to keep from moving higher up your thigh. Under your shorts." She shivers in my arms as her hand on my face shows me the white hot electricity coursing through her body at my words. Hazy visions of me pushing her shirt up and off fill my head. "Oh fuck," I groan, taking a huge step back from her. She's still turned on and wanting more. Fuck fuck. Fuck.
"Jake?" Her hand reaches out for me but I shake my head side to side.
I find a spot to lean against just out of her reach and continue explaining, forcing myself to be brutally honest with her, "I was looking to see what you were wearing." I explain, finally answering her unasked question. "If it had been a skirt Ness, I- my hands would be between your legs right now. Even with shorts- I'm pretty sure I'd be tearing through those things to get to you if we hadn't stopped."
Clutching my hands into fists I press them hard against my eyes, doing my best to reign in my out-of-control body.
"I'm sorry, Jacob."
My eyes jerk open and I'm surprised to see Ness standing in my field of vision. And even more surprised for her to be apologizing. As if she needs to. She steps closer, her hand cupping my cheek. Instead of hearing her voice in my mind, it fills the room. "When you touch me, all I can think of is wanting more. I hear you say we need to slow down, but I don't know how to." She looks sheepish when she speaks her next words. "I don't know if I want to slow down."
I'm about to open my mouth to speak when I hear her repeat my words about having my hands between her legs. My body is shaking even before she speaks clearly in my mind, "I want you to touch me like you just described and I- want to touch you in the same way."
Her words take the breath from my lungs. I can't speak. It's nearly impossible for me to have a coherent thought, not to mention make my lips form actual words. I stutter her name. "N-n-Ness, you can't say that shit to- m-m-me." Damnit to fucking hell.
My dick throbs at the mere mention of her hands on me like that. But good GOD, just the thought of mine on her nearly sends me into convulsions. Her skin slick with arousal, hot and needy for me. I shake my head, trying to clear it of images that sail through my mind. There's still so much we haven't discussed, plus her father's threat earlier, that I have to stop us. Now. I can't let things keep going like this.
Closing my eyes, I sigh in frustration. Saying "no" to her goes against everything in me, but right now, I have to protect her from herself. "We have forever, Ness."
She bites her lip, which is fucking sexy as hell. I'm forcing myself not to lean down and replace her teeth with mine when she speaks, "I know Jake, but I don't want to wait forever."
Shaking my head, I quickly correct her, grinning, "It won't be forever, Ness, trust me."
"Then why do we have to slow down?" she pouts, stepping closer to me. My hands find her hips, stopping her just shy of pressing her full body against me. I'm doing everything I can to stay focused on the conversation at hand and not think about my dick throbbing. If she were to lean against me now, I don't think I'd have the strength to stop her.
I give her my best, most reassuring smile, "It's just for a little while, Tathut. Let things settle down with your parents, figure out our next steps." Taking a deep breath I brace myself to be flat out honest with her, "As much as I want you, I'm selfish. Right now, I have to share you with your parents; they are going to be back in a few hours. When we have sex it will be when there is no chance in hell anyone will bother us and when I can have you for hours on end without interruption."
As I watch, her eyelids lower and her whole body shivers. I hear the echo of my words hours on end as her hand slides down my neck. This sends a shiver through my body straight to my dick. Groaning, I take her hand from my skin and lean forward, careful not to let any other part of my body touch her as I gently slide my lips over hers. She continues to send flashes of my words through to me but I can feel that she is starting to understand why now isn't the right time, no matter how much we both want more.
Slowly I release her lips and lean back. Neither of us says anything as we catch our breaths for a few minutes. Once I feel like my body is close to being back under control, I pull Ness into my arms. Her arms wrap around my waist while she presses her face into my chest. The quiet is soothing, neither of us needing to talk, both just holding on to the other.
The silence is broken by the very clear grumble of my stomach. I feel her body shake with laughter as her hand moves from my back to my stomach, "Didn't you just fill this thing up earlier today?"
It feels good to laugh with her, "This morning!"
"Didn't you eat lunch?" she asks, tilting her head up to me.
"Nope," brushing my lips across hers I grin, "I wanted to get back to you as soon as possible."
"Fair enough," she giggles, "Mom and I made dinner."
Letting go of her is not my first choice, but my stomach grumbles again and I have to admit, I am hungry. We sit at the dining table and eat quietly. The food fills my stomach, but I barely taste what is passing my lips. My focus is solely on her. It's nearly impossible to keep my eyes off of her beautiful and delicate face. When she catches me looking she lifts an eyebrow in question. When I wiggle mine in reply, her cheeks darken and she leans her head against my shoulder. She stays there until I finish my food, which I don't mind at all.
Once I finish eating and we clean up, we decide to play a board game, something we haven't done in a while. Ness chooses LIFE, because she likes the little cars and the peg people. She sets the game up, both of us sitting on the floor next to each other. I want to pull her into my lap, but appease myself by playing with her hair. When her little car stops at the point where she has to decide between college and a career she glances up at me, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth.
"It's a game, Ness," I try to reassure her, but I can see the concern clearly in her eyes.
She sighs, "I know, Jake, but- I don't want it unless you are there."
Leaning over, I place my lips softly against hers. Before we can go too far, I pull back and whisper, "Don't worry, I'll be there. I told you, I'll follow you anywhere."
"Anywhere?" she whispers in my mind. I don't get what she means until I see her start leaning back. When she is fully stretched out on the floor in front of me, I hear her voice in my mind, "Kiss me, Jacob." Without question, my body follows her instructions, leaning over her and easily finding those sweet lips of hers.
Everything in me screams to let go, lower my body down to meet hers, but I know better. My arms are shaking fighting to keep myself from giving in to the temptation below me. Her arms around my neck pull me closer but I fight against that tug. I hate this, but I know I can't get sucked in; especially since I'm the one that has to stop us before we go too far.
Her eyes pop open and she narrows her gaze right at me, "Come on, Jake. I just want to make out with you. All other teenage girls get to make out with their-."
Grinning, I lower my head so that our noses are touching, "Hmmm...what word are you looking for Ness?"
"Stop teasing, Jacob," she blushes but then looks me straight in the eye. "Boyfriend. Other teenage girls get to make out with their boyfriends."
"Are you asking me to be your boyfriend, Tathut?" I ask, laughing as her cheeks turn a bright pink color.
Her eyes jump between mine and the smile on my lips, a little unsure, "I have to ask you to be my boyfriend? You imprinted on me, isn't it just- automatic?"
"I suppose," I shrug, "but it's still nice to be asked."
When I wink at her she shakes her head and starts giggling. She pulls her lower lip into her mouth before her eyes meet mine. There's something in her eyes that warns me she has an idea, but just as I recognize it, she's speaking.
"Fine. I'll ask, but I want something for asking."
"You get me as your boyfriend if you ask. What more could you want?" I ask, though I know I'm in trouble. She has a plan and I'm not sure of my ability to deny her.
She licks her lips and I know I'm a goner. My eyes are locked on her lips when she speaks again, "I want you to let go. I- want you to lay down with me here on the floor. No more holding back, I want to feel all of you against me. I know we can't go too far, but I want as much of you as I can have."
Grinding my teeth I force myself to look her in the eye, "What happens if I can't stop? You- Ness, I want you. If I let go, I don't think I can stop until I have you. All of you."
Her entire body shakes as my words sink in. She takes a deep breath then looks up at me, certainty in her eyes, "I trust you, Jake. I know without a doubt you won't let us go too far. But if you are worried, I promise I'll stop you before we go too far."
"What's too far, Ness? You keep telling me you want more." I'm shaking my head, unsure if I can grant her this request, but desperate to give her what she wants.
She giggles as her eyes dart around my face, avoiding my eyes, "How about I promise to stop us if any clothes below the waist get removed?"
My eyebrows shoot up, "If any clothes are removed we've already gone too far."
She shakes her head, laughing, "Then it's your job to stop us before that happens. But I absolutely promise I'll stop us if we reach- that point." She sighs, "Jake, I do want more, but I understand what you mean about there being limits right now. I trust you to slow us down, but I promise you, I will stop if we go too far."
I have no idea what to say. I want to agree to her terms but I'm still worried. My faith in my ability to stop is shaken. She keeps pushing me one step closer to the edge and every time we approach that ledge she somehow manages to find a way to push me even closer. Not that I'm complaining, but it still scares the hell out of me. My body and heart scream for her, but in my mind Edward's threat is still fresh.
"Jacob, will you be my boyfriend?"
The decision is taken out of my hands. My silence was all she needed to take control of the situation. By not saying anything, I agreed to her terms and she knows she's going to get what she wants. I could still say no, but my girl has kept her part of the bargain, asking me. Honestly I don't want to hold back from her any longer. My job now is to figure out how to let go with her while still being in control of the situation. No problem. I can do this.
I'm in so fucking much trouble.
"Of course, Ness."
When she grins up at me I know I'm screwed, but I give her what she asked for. My arms relax and I slowly lower my body down to meet hers. I start by kissing her, our lips meeting as her arms reach around my neck again, her fingers twisting in my hair as she pulls me lower. Slowly I let my chest sink against hers. Just that touch makes her gasp, her back arching up from the floor to meet me. Those tight nipples of hers tease me.
"More. All." Those two words are practically shouted in my mind. As much as I want to hold back, go slow, all thought escapes my brain at her request. The rest of my body lowers to her. Without thought, my hips push forward, my obvious erection pressed into her thigh.
When she pulls her lips back from mine, gasping, my first thought is I've gone too far; this has scared her. However, she proves my worry wrong when she lifts her leg to wrap it around my hip. She then shocks the hell out of me by biting her lip just before I feel her lift her hips up just slightly. My hips meet hers without hesitation. My name falling from her lips on a soft moan pushes me forward.
Without planning it, my lips are rough against hers, demanding more. My tongue makes it way into her mouth. Her short nails dig into my back as she lifts her whole body, pressing herself against me as tight as possible. I keep getting flashes of how her body is reacting; she feels like her skin is on fire, she's itching to remove my shirt, she wants me to remove her shirt.
The more she shares with me, the more I want to give her these things. My hand is pushing her shirt up when something very different pops into my mind.
Bella is standing in the kitchen of this very house, stirring something in a pot. She looks up, almost like she's looking into my own eyes. "Talk to Jacob about it, but I think he'd agree with me. You two need to be prepared, Renesmee."
"Mom, we've only kissed," I hear Ness whisper.
Bella shakes her head, "I know, but I'd rather you take care of this now, while you are still only kissing. It shouldn't be an afterthought once you two are-," she waves her hand, "ready to be together." Bella pauses then looks back up, "I'll talk to Carlisle, I'm sure he'd be happy to help you figure out the best method of birth control for you and Jacob. I just want you to be safe, baby."
I push myself away from Ness, landing on the floor next to her, gasping for breath. I force my eyes closed, trying to work through what she just showed me.
"Jacob?" she asks softly. I can feel her sitting up now, leaning over me. "Is everything ok, Jake?"
My mind is racing and I have no idea how to respond to her. My first thought is anger at myself for not even considering birth control. Even though Ness and I have talked about eventually wanting to have sex, it never even entered my mind to think about the consequences of those actions. Obviously, I know about the birds and the bees, but my only thought was being with her. The fact that protecting her from that didn't enter my brain both pisses me off and scares the hell out of me. What else haven't I considered that could harm her?
My second thought is a realization that I don't even know if she wants to- someday- have kids. I've only considered my need to be with her and what she wants to do right this second. I never even thought to ask what she wants down the road. I think I'd like to have kids with her at some point, but I don't know if she does.
Pulling myself together I open my eyes. She's hovering over me, worry evident in her eyes. Taking a deep breath I speak on an exhale, "You and your mom talked about birth control?"
"OH!" She turns bright red and leans back away from me. I sit up, careful not to touch her right away, but make sure she's not out of my reach. She glances up at me shyly, "I was going to mention it to you- later." She shakes her head, her neck and face still bright with her blush, "I really need to figure out how to control- this with you."
My hand glides along her cheek, "I don't want you to control it, I just want you to feel comfortable talking to me about these things. I'm sorry I didn't consider it sooner. I should have-."
"Shh, Jake, it's fine," her hand cups the one against her face. "I honestly didn't think about it either until she mentioned it. Um, she wants me to talk to Granddaddy Carlisle this weekend."
Nodding I look her in the eye, "I think that's a good idea, if that's what you want."
"What do you mean?"
She looks worried and I rush to speak, not wanting to upset her, "I just mean if- I don't know- we haven't talked about our future. Do you want-." Stopping, I pull myself together before continuing. "If you don't want to have kids right away, then talking to Carlisle about birth control is something we should do."
She lowers her head, so I'm barely able to make out her whispered words, "Do you want to have kids?"
Sighing, I lean forward, lifting her chin until she looks at me. My lips slide over hers briefly. When I pull back just barely, my thumb replaces my lips as I speak, "Maybe, someday. Ness, I want to give you whatever you want. If you told me you want kids right now, I'd probably hesitate, only because I don't want to share you with anyone else. But in five years, ten years, if that's what you want, then it's what I want too."
"Someday?" she asks, a small smile crossing her lips.
"Sure. But until then, you mom is right, we need to consider our options." I'm still angry with myself for not thinking about this earlier, but I'm glad we are discussing now.
"Ok. We'll talk to Granddaddy Carlisle this weekend. About how I'm sharing stuff with you even without touching your face and- birth control."
I'm about to nod in agreement when I realize the timing has changed, "Weren't you going to see him on Friday after dance?"
"Well, I was but now we are planning on staying the weekend. Aunt Alice got us tickets to a new gallery opening on Friday night." She hesitates for just a second then smiles up at me, "I was hoping you'd join me there. Maybe as my date?"
"Hmmm," I pretend to consider. "I guess as your boyfriend now, it is kind of my job to be your date to these types of things."
"That's very true. I'm sure there's some sort of boyfriend's guide that says you have to go to these types of things." She leans forward, "Plus, I really like how you look in your suit."
"Is that so?" I ask, laughing. I broke down and bought a nice suit a few years ago when Ness' love of the arts became apparent.
"Yep. So you'll come to Seattle? Please, Jake?"
This is an easy request to grant, "Ok, but this doesn't count as our first date."
"Why not?" she asks, obviously confused.
I nearly choke I'm laughing so hard, "Because we are going out with all of your vampire relatives. There is nothing romantic about that. I bet Blondie bites my head off if I even try to hold your hand."
"Aunt Rose isn't that bad," she says but then pauses. She starts laughing too, "Ok, you're probably right. So you are my date but it's not our first date. Any hints you want to give me on when that will happen?"
"Nope." She pouts but that quickly disappears when I kiss her. When we manage to separate I grin down at her, "I want to surprise you. Just be ready."
"I'm always ready to be surprised," she giggles.
We manage to return our focus to the game, though we do get distracted periodically. Her jaw drops when I pick the college route. I shrug, "If I have the opportunity, I'm going to take it." She leaps into my lap then, kissing all over my face. When we finally break apart again, I refuse to let her move from her spot.
We finish up the game and decide to watch a movie since we still have a couple of hours before her parents return. She picks up one movie and flashes the cover at me, "Dad hates this movie."
She has "The 40-Year-Old Virgin" in her hands. I can't help laughing, "Let me guess, Emmett plays that movie all the time."
"Yep," she laughs as she returns the case to the shelf and keeps looking. She finally selects an action movie and slides the disc into the player.
I have the remote in my hand as she snuggles up on the couch with me. I'm about to hit play when I look down at her. She smiles softly, "What?"
"There's something I need to tell you."
She looks concerned as she sits up, "Ok. What?"
Taking a deep breath I admit to her something that only a few of my fellow wolves even know. "I'm not a- virgin."
Her face is clear of expression, which is rare for her. She doesn't blush as she quietly considers my confession. Finally she glances up at me. "Ohhh-kay," she says on a soft exhale.
"I'm sorry, Ness. It was a long time ago, before you were even born. When I got your parents wedding invitation I left. I tried everything I could think of to forget my life here. I thought maybe if I met someone else it would help. So I found a woman in a bar. I didn't know her name and I didn't ask. In the back of my mind I knew she wasn't what I wanted, but I needed to forget, figure out how to move on." I shake my head, unable to meet her eyes any longer, "I was trying to feel something that I didn't. As soon as you were born I realized why I felt nothing. She meant nothing to me, but- I needed you to know, Ness."
She's quiet for what seems like an hour, but in reality is just a couple of minutes. She brushes her hand over my cheek finally, whispering in my mind, "You didn't love her, right?"
"No."
She bites her lip as another question is spoken softly in my head, "Have you been with anyone- since then?"
"No. I knew after it happened it was a mistake, it didn't fix the underlying problem. After you were born- well, I couldn't see any other women."
"And you were, careful? Used- protection?" She seems to barely choke out the words, even speaking them in my mind.
"Yes, I used a condom."
She nods but doesn't say anything else. I'm really scared as the silence stretches on, "Ness, are you ok? Please say something."
"What have you done since then?"
This completely confuses me, I have no idea what she means, "What?"
"You know," her eyes catch mine and I see the blush rising up her neck, "when you are-." She gulps in a breath of air then rushes out her words, "When you're aroused, what have you done if you haven't been with anyone else?"
"Ohhhhh." I draw out, finally catching on to her meaning. Her eyes again dart to mine and I do my best to hold her gaze, "You really want to know?"
She closes her eyes then nods. I lean forward and whisper softly against her ear, "Up until today I'd clear my mind of all thoughts and slide my hand over myself until I came."
She inhales sharply. As I lean back I see her eyes fly open and dart down to my crotch. When she realizes I'm watching her she locks her eyes on my nose, "Sorry, I just- wow." She breathes in a few times then lifts her eyes up to mine, "What do you mean 'up until today'? Was today- different?"
"Very different." She tilts her head, the blush covering her whole face now.
Her one word is so soft I barely recognize it in my mind, "Why?"
"Because today, instead of trying to think of nothing, I finally let myself think of you."
Her eyes go wide and her tongue darts out to lick her lips. She opens her mouth to speak once or twice, but nothing comes out. Finally I hear her speaking in my mind again, "Really? And- it worked?"
"Oh, it worked, very well," I laugh as she looks at everything in the room but me. I capture her face, my lips meeting hers. She leans into me, her lips hot against mine from the blush that still covers her skin.
When we finally break apart for air, she leans back as she catches her breath. Once her breathing is fairly even, she glances up at me again, "I like that you thought about me."
"Trust me, I liked thinking about you. It- um, didn't take much thinking about you to- finish."
She giggles, leaning her head against my chest as she again snuggles against me. "Jake," she whispers a few minutes later.
"Yes, Tathut?"
Her hand returns to my cheek, "I was serious earlier. I want to touch you like that. I want my hand to- move over you."
I feel the growl emanating from my chest and can't stop my hands from lifting her up in my lap. My hand captures the back of her head and I hold her steady as my lips quickly find hers. I'm much rougher than I plan on being, but she doesn't seem to mind, meeting me at every point.
Somewhere along the way she ends up stretched out on the couch. My body is completely covering hers, but she has somehow managed to remove my shirt. Her fingers grip my back as her hips sway beneath mine, pushing up for more.
My fingers have found their way under her shirt to the edge of her bra. I'm just about to release the catch to free her breasts when I hear the distinct sound of a motorcycle turning off the main road. Groaning I force myself to lean back.
"What?" she gasps out.
"Parents," I say as I pull my shirt back over my head, making sure it is loose around my crotch. She leaps up from the couch, grabs the remote and sets it to start playing the movie halfway through. By the time Edward and Bella walk in, she's leaning against my shoulder, both of our eyes locked on the screen in front of us.
"Did you guys have a fun night?" Bella asks.
"Yep, we are just finishing this movie," Ness grins at Bella.
I feel Edward's eyes on me but I don't look up. I hear him huff before he speaks, "Say goodnight once the movie is over."
"Sure, Dad," Ness whispers. I glance at her and she has a soft smile on her lips. However, her lips are red and swollen and I can clearly see her nipples through her shirt. I jerk my head back to the TV, hoping Edward didn't catch these signs but sure he did. I'm really hoping that he doesn't define this as close to sex; I like having my balls attached to my body.
"Come on, Edward. We'll see you back at the cottage, Renesmee. Goodnight, Jacob." Bella pulls Edward out of the main house.
Once they leave the house Ness starts giggling. She leans back against me, her hand again on my cheek, "That was close."
"Too close, you look like we've been making out all night. I'm sure your dad noticed."
She pulls my face down to hers, kissing me slowly. "We have been making out all night. He probably did notice, but really, what can he do?"
"Tear me apart?" I offer, laughing at how easily she blows off the fact that her father recognized what we've been doing all night.
She sits up straight and looks me in the eye. There isn't laughter on her face now. "He'll have to come through me first. I'm serious, Jacob. I refuse to let him tell us what we can and cannot do any longer. I want to make out with my boyfriend and my father just needs to learn to deal with that."
"Ok, Tathut, we won't worry about that right now. Let's just finish the movie."
She settles against me again but a few minutes later I hear my own voice echoed in my mind, whispering, "Tathut."
Before she can ask the question I lean over and whisper in her ear, "It means 'heart'. You are my heart and you own my heart. You mean everything to me, Ness. Without you, I wouldn't be able to live."
I want to say more but she starts kissing me. We go slow this time, but ignore the remainder of the movie, spending our last bit of time together tonight kissing. Once the final credit rolls, we slowly separate.
We lock up the main house and I walk her down to the cottage. I give her a chaste kiss on the cheek before she walks in.
By the time I pull into my driveway, there's a text message waiting for me.
I can't sleep. Call me when you get home. ~N
I wait until I've stripped down and settled in the bed before I call her. We talk for a good twenty minutes before she starts yawning. I tell her another legend, finishing just as I hear her breathing even out in sleep.
Once I hang up, I climb out of bed and head for the bathroom. My thoughts revolve around tonight and it doesn't take long before I'm screaming out her name as I come once again. Despite the release, my dick is still rock hard as I climb back in bed. Unfortunately, I know this won't change until I can finally have her, which won't happen until I can officially move her into this house and make it our home.
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A/N: *whistles innocently* Click that little review button when you can think straight again. Also, our beta left you a little note too. Hehe.
B/N: *sings* Jacob & Ness sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G … *snort*