I thought I uploaded this days ago, but something went wrong:( sorry this took so long guys! I hope you guys all had a nice Thanksgiving weekend! enjoy!
Small talk, he drives
Coffee at midnight,
The light reflects
The chain on your neck
"I'll drive today."
Castle said when he reached into my hands and took away the keys. He gave a a smile when I looked up. For once, I didn't argue with him. He walked us to the passenger side and opened the door for me, watched me until I got in and closed the door after.
Today has been horrible, it is the day I dread the most in a year. I always feel the cold wind chills running through my body on this particular day, and it takes me back to that ally on January 9th all those years ago. Does the scar ever heals? Does it ever going to stop hurting whenever I think about you, mom? Watching the little girl's world crumple around her today once she discovered her mom had been murder was not what I needed today. I should have comfort her, tell her that things are going to okay, assure her that her mom is in a better place, but that would all be a lie. How can I tell her all those things when I don't even believe that to be true?
I was pulled out of my own thought by the quietness in the car. I looked over at Castle but he's focusing his attention on the road ahead. I know that he's constantly checking up on with with the corner of his eyes; his giving me the space to be alone in my thoughts and talk to him when I'm ready to voice my thoughts out loud.
"She was always so happy." I said remembering, "She always knows what to say to make me feel better, even when I think it was the worst day ever, she can always make it better." The tears are threatening to come out, but I try my best to hold it in. I looked down and fiddled with my fingers.
"This whole day I kept reminding myself that even after the horrible day I just had, she will never be there to hold my hands, braid my hair, make me coffee at midnight and help me solve my problems again, and I just feel so lost."
Castle reached his free hand over to hold mine. His hand is big and warm, it's like a safe house built just for me. He says nothing but smiles at me. We hold hands until we got to the loft.
He walked me to the couch and sat me down, "I'll be right back." I didn't get the chance to ask what he was doing and he was gone.
After 5 minutes of staring at nothing, he finally came back carrying a tray. He sat the tray down on the table and turned me facing him.
"I really wish I could have met your mom, Kate." Castle said with tint of sorrow in his eyes, "she sounds like a wonderful person."
I gave him a soft smile.
"Have I ever told you I'm a master at braiding hair? I used to braid Alexis' hair everyday when she would go to school with her little pigtails. None of the parents had any idea the braids were not done by a mom." He said proudly and began to brush through my hair. "Oh and that coffee is for you; it's decaf, because I don't want you to be awake in the middle of the night and listen to me sleepy talk." My face split into a huge smile, the first one today.
While working on my hair, castle said "when it comes to your mom, there is always going to be a part of you I don't know how to comfort, like today. I felt so hopeless knowing that you are hurting so much inside but didn't know what to say to do to take that pain away."
I turned my head immediately to look Castle in the eyes.
"Hey!" He protested.
I put my hands on his cheeks and said, "You were right to give me space today, it was exactly what I needed, babe"
"Babe?" He asked with a smug look on his face.
My face suddenly felt on fire. We have never used pet names before, and babe just popped out without going through my brain. I'm kind of panicking thinking how awkward it will be if he doesn't like the pet name.
"I love it!" He said to me after a quick peck on my lips.
I just smile sweetly at him and he went back to braiding my hair and I went back to slipping coffee.
"Thank you, Castle. For everything you did today. No one has ever done these things for me before."
"Always." He says.
The chain around my neck still feels heavy, like it does everyday. Solving my mom's murder used to be the only thing I'm absolutely certain in my life, but now I'm absolutely certain that I think I'm in love with Richard Castle.
Thank you for reading! it really means a lot to me(: feedbacks are appreciated!