A/N: I felt bad about the sad ending to the previous chapter so I wanted to post this straight away :) Thanks to every single person who is reading and again thank you to the people reviewing. I know I said that this was 8 chapters but after finishing writing the 8th chapter I've decided to add an extra one so it will be 9 chapters :)
I still don't own R&I
Jane unlocked and opened her door, letting it slowly close behind her. She dropped her keys carelessly on the kitchen counter and grabbed a beer, heading straight to her couch. She flopped down and dropped her gun, badge and feet onto the coffee table. She swallowed half of the beer in one go. She hadn't been suspended but after eventually returning to the precinct she'd faced an official warning to be added to all the others in her file. The only positive was that Crowe had received a matching one. She deserved it anyway, not for what she'd said to Crowe, that piece of shit deserved it, for what she had done to Maura. She hadn't found any excuse... or guts... to take a trip down to the morgue after her return. God... Maura deserved more than the shit she kept putting her through.
I need to cut this out or soon she'll stop coming back for more, Jane thought as she reached for her phone. She stared sadly at the lack of notifications because quickly finishing the rest of her beer. This weren't enough words in her vocabulary to say sorry to Maura in a way that she deserved. There probably weren't even the right words in Maura's vocabulary and that was saying something.
No Maura was better than a phone call. Jane quickly locked away her badge and gun and grabbed her keys, slamming the door with more energy on her exit.
Jane made quick time, almost flying across Boston on her way to Maura. It wasn't long better she was standing at Maura's front door trying to build the courage to knock. She could see the lights on so she knew the doctor was still awake. Just as she gained the confidence to raise her hand the door opened. Only, it wasn't her best friend, it was her mother.
"Ma?" Jane frowned, confused.
"Jane," Angela returned with her own frown.
Jane gestured to the inside of the house but Angela didn't budge from her space blocking the door. "Ma, can I come in?"
"I don't think that's best right now Janie," Angela sighed, the anger in her face lessening but still present.
"I need to speak to Maura."
Angela glanced over her shoulder and towards the stairs. Maura must be in her room, Jane guessed.
"I think you should go."
"Ma?"
"Listen Jane, I heard what happened today-"
"Did Maura-"
"Maura didn't say anything so don't even start there!" Angela snapped, causing Jane to take a shocked step backwards. "It was all over the station. Vince saw me in the cafeteria and asked if I could check in on Maura because he didn't feel it was his place. He didn't say anything, his face confirmed everything I'd heard."
"Well it's not really your place is it Ma?" Jane commented, moving forward and pushing past her mother, taking care to not hurt her in any way.
"Jane Clementine Rizzoli! I love that girl as if she is my own child-"
"But she isn't Ma! I am your child." Jane ran a hand through her hair and stepped further into the house, stopping at the stairs to look up to where she was sure Maura was. "Ma I need your help."
Angela closed the door softly and moved towards Jane, resting a hand on her shoulder and losing all trace of anger from her face.
"I screwed up Ma. I really hurt her."
Angela nodded, agreeing with her.
"Has she said anything to you?"
Angela shook her head. "I tried. She just wanted to go to bed. She looked crushed."
"How do I even begin to say sorry?"
"Maybe start by explaining why you were so angry."
"Crowe was a douche," Jane growled.
Angela shook her head again. "That wasn't what made you mad sweetie."
"Yes it was."
"It was people talking about your relationship with Maura."
"It was CROWE talking about my relationship with Maura."
"Exactly. He may be a horrid man but he only seems the same thing we all do."
Jane was stiff. "Ma... I'm not gay."
Angela rubbed Jane shoulder lightly and then withdrew her hand. "I'll be in the guesthouse if you need me... if either of you need me."
Jane made no effort to acknowledge her mother, still stuck on the part where her mother just implied that she was gay. She may have had overly friendly feelings for her friend and she may enjoy thinking about doing extremely sexual things to that same friend but did that make her gay? Gay, queer, dyke. Those were the words she heard her entire life. Every time she played sports, every time she didn't wear a dress, every time she preferred to play with boys, every time she acted a little too touchy with her few female friends she was gay. She had fought against it every single day of her life. She had fought against the other cops. She had fought against her brothers. Now her mother seemed to think it too. They couldn't be right, those kids that would push her down and say she had gay cooties... they couldn't be right.
But Maura... with her beautiful hair and beautiful eyes and beautiful heart... In this moment, for the first time, she let herself admit that she was attracted to her friend. She let herself admit that she loved her friend... as more than a friend. But she wouldn't let herself act on it.
Regardless of any soul discoveries that were being made the very real fact that her friend was upstairs upset because of what she had done. Actions she had taken in reaction to just another person calling her out for being... gay.
Jane would have to make some changes but first, she had to make a hugeass apology.
Jane knocked on the door quickly and pushed it open before she heard a response, hoping Maura would be asleep. She almost backed out of the room, assuming that was the case, until she saw the telltale shake of shoulders. Maura was curled into a small ball in the dark in her bed, crying.
Without thinking Jane was across the room and onto the bed, crawling across and pulling Maura flush against her. She wrapped the smaller woman into a tight hug, making every body part press against each other.
Maura froze for only a second before moving her own arms around Jane just as tightly.
"I'm so fucking sorry," Jane repeated over and over into Maura's hair, adding kisses and strokes from one hand. "I'm such a fucking fool."
That seemed to be the permission Maura was looking for as she took a deep breath and her silent crying turned into loud sobbing.
"I'm so fucking sorry Maur."
A/N: We all know that Maura will forgive Jane anything, even shooting her father. Just a heads up that a character from early on in the show will be appearing in the next chapter… not because I like him but because I needed him for the story and instead of creating a character I might actually like I needed to chose someone I hated.
End chapter 3.