A/N: Hey guys… I'm back… and on my birthday as well! Sorry about the hiatus but my internet is back and perfect. This only has one more chapter and an epilogue :) I've got some one-shots that I will put up when this is finished BUT I've started work on an AU fic which I'm really interested in atm.
As always, I don't own Rizzoli and Isles or the characters but please let me know what you think.
Korsak and Frost were still catching Jane up on the progress - or lack of progress - they had made in her absence, when Cavanaugh walked into his office.
"One sec guys, just needa have a word with Cav."
Frost stared at Jane, mouth open from being stopped mid-sentence while Korsak just shrugged.
"Come in!" Cavanaugh called as Jane knocked on his door.
"Rizzoli, take a seat," he said warmly.
Jane sat on the edge of her seat, rubbing her scarred palms together nervously.
"What do you need?" Cavanaugh broke the silence when he realised that Jane wouldn't.
"Listen sir..." Jane sighed, letting her voice trail off.
"Rizzoli?" Cavanaugh encouraged.
"I know you're tryin' to protect me from not lettin' me read it but I need ta. I wnt to see what she said."
Cavanaugh was silent for a moment. "I don't understand."
"I hate that I didn't go with her when she needed to speak and I need that letter... just to know I couldn't have stopped it."
"What letter?"
"C'mon Cav," Jane growled. "I know she pushed it under your door."
"Dr Isles?"
"Yeah."
"When?"
"The night..."
"I don't know what to say Jane," Cavanaugh said softly, standing from his seat and moving to lean against the front of his desk. "I don't have a letter."
Jane scanned Cavanaugh's face and saw only honesty. Without a word she jumped up and sped back to the bullpen, barely noticing Cavanaugh right behind her.
"Frost. Pull up the footage from the camera outside the lieutenant's office."
"Date?" Frost asked knowing better than to question his partner when she got like this.
"June third."
"Janie," Korsak said as Frost quickly pulled up the footage.
"Not now Korsak," Jane snapped. "Start at 9.15 pm."
Frost quickly jumped the footage and pressed play. At 9.18 all four watched as Maura slipped a letter under the door and left. Al eyes turned to Sean.
"It wasn't there at 10 when I was called in after..."
Frost nodded and pressed fast forward, stopping when a figure approached the door, picked the lock and took the letter, all with his back to the camera.
"Hoodie over suit pants... he knew the camera was there... OK so he gets in the building and no one sees him?" Jane frowned.
"Unless he was already here," Korsak comments.
"Yeah!" Jane nods enthusiastically as her brain connects the dots. "The suit paints. He's here working, sees Maura with the letter, waits for everyone to rush outside after the explosion, slips on the hoodie, steals the letter, takes the hoodie off and goes back to work. Fuck!"
"It's a cop," Frost concluded.
"A cop would know to get rid of the evidence," Korsak commented.
"I'll never know what she wanted to say. Dammit!" Jane yelled as she picked up the nearest thing - Frost's empty coffee mug - and flung it across the room where it hit a wall and smashed loudly.
"Rizzoli," Cavanaugh warned.
Jane spun around breathing hard and stormed out of the room, not feeling any tension ease until she was home and halfway through yet another bottle of J.D.
Jane didn't wake until 3pm the next day after drinking herself unconscious. Her first thoughts were all m-rated but her second was that the only way to take the pain away was with more pills and booze. So she did.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
"Arrr," Jane grumbles, forcing her eyes open. Everything is blurry and spinning. Her eyes squeeze closed.
BANG! BANG! BANG!
The squad vibrates the door and Jane's skull. She feels dizzy and disorientated. She makes it to the door. With a deep breath she unlocks it and turns the handle, letting the other person open it.
"You are alive," says a gruff voice she can't quite place. he squints at him and only sees a blur.
"No one has heard a word from you for days. Your Ma has been by daily but you took her key. She figured I could at least break down your door if you didn't answer it." The voice sounded pissed.
"Frost?"
Frost sighed, really taking in Jane's appearance and feeling sympathy. "You're a mess Jane."
Jane just shrugged, wincing as she jostled her head.
"If you'd answered your phone you could have been saved this...Go have a shower, I'll get you coffee and food."
"Leave me alone Frost," Jane sighs as she moves back towards the couch.
"Stop cutting me out! Yes, Maura is gone. It sucks. But you are alive and this," he points at the bottles on the floor, "would kill her all over again to see."
"Don't even pretend to know what I'm feeling. You've got no fucking clue."
Frost let his eyes scan over his partner, taking a step towards her and nodding. "I do. I'm a detective Jane. You trained me. You're in love with her."
Jane completely deflats at his words and sinks down on the couch with her eyes closing. "Yeah... so just leave me be."
"Fine. Then I'll keep her letter to myself."
Jane's eyes flicked open, focusing immediately on the white envelope with Maura's precise writing. "You found it," she whispered, not trusting her voice fully.
"Yes. So get in the shower. Eat. Drink."
Jane was desperate to reach out and grab it but she knew she was in no state to. With a quick nod she made her way to shower.
After a hurried shower Jane began to feel much more human, except for the pounding headache. Luckily, as soon as she entered her newly cleaned living room Frost presented her with some Panadol, water, coffee and dry toast. She ate and drank in silence. Once everything was empty and her headache dulled Frost slid her the envelope.
With a delicate and shaking hand she opened it and pulled out the crisp, delicate papers. With a deep breath she began to read the neat, handwritten words.
Dearest Jane,
If you are reading this then, as cliché as it sounds, I'm dead. It also means I was unsuccessful in my attempt to explain this to you. I sincerely hope that it wasn't simply because I couldn't find the, as you would say, testicles.
Balls Maura, Jane corrected with a smile.
I am so sorry if this has hurt you, that was never my intention. Jane, please don't hate me for what I am about to say. I am not actually dead. Unless, of course, the plan didn't succeed in which case I am incredibly for the false hope this letter may provide. I'm also grateful for the chance to provide you with closure. As you are aware I have been forced into private interrogations with Federal Agents over the last few weeks. Christine was the first to mention witness protection. I have complete and utter faith that you will protect me, don't doubt that. I have made this decision for your safety. You always have and always will put your life ahead of mine. I don't want to live in a world without you Jane so I can't let you do that.
Christine found me in the bathroom yesterday and revealed that it is an agent working for the crime family that we have been unable to identify. She is worried that any attempt for me to enter witness protection would lead to an attempt on my life. She also fears he might come after you.
So I have done the only logical thing that I could think of; I used the black phone to contact Paddy Doyle. He will arrange to 'fake my death' and arrange protection for me in a hidden, safe location.
There is a high probability that this hasn't worked. In which case... I have a confession.
Jane, I love you. You are the best friend, first friend, which I have ever had. You are home to me. There are so many things that I wish to say to you but if I even tried then I don't think I would have the courage to leave you. Even thinking about being apart from you gives me an overwhelming pain in my chest. But I am doing this to protect you, and to hopefully return to you.
I am entirely, deeply, in love with you my gorgeous friend.
From the bottom of my heart, I am yours.
Maura Isles.
Frost had watched, wide-eyed, as Jane had begun to sob fiercely, clutching the letter and blinking like crazy to keep reading as words blurred but nothing would stop her from reading every word Maura had left.
It was at least half an hour later when Jane pulled the letter o her chest, as if she was trying to hug whatever had been written. She slowly raised her eyes to Frost.
"Maura's alive," she whispered as a large smile forced its way onto her face.
"Huh?" was all Frost could say.
"She's alive!" Jane jumped, actually jumped, and began almost dancing around the room. In Jane's excitement she accidentally dropped one sheet of paper. Frost quickly scooped it up, trying to understand what had happened. After scanning the page he began to smile as well. He blushed as he held it back out to Jane. She snatched it as soon as she saw it.
"Sorry... so that didn't tell me why you think Maura is alive."
Jane glanced at the sheet he'd held, noticing it was only the page where Maura admitted her feelings, and blushed as well. "Paddy helped her fake her death because she knew that there was a dirty cop."
"So she wrote you that letter..."
"She tried to tell me in person but Dean distracted me."
Frost stared at Jane, face serious. "Dean is the one who stole the letter."
Jane nodded, her detective mind linking it all together. "And he was the one that shot Paddy and first mentioned the book to me. God! How did I not see it?"
"You were distracted by love for your Dr," Frost smirked, trying to lighten the mood
"Shut it," Jane said, smiling even as she punched him in the arm.
"How are we gonna get your girl back?"
"I've gotta talk to Cavanaugh..."
The next day Jane woke up in bed, showered, and went to work with a clear head for the first time that she could remember. She headed straight to Cavanaugh's office, bypassing the bullpen. She knocked lightly and quickly and pushed into the room before he even answered.
"We gotta talk," she said roughly as she clicked the door closed behind herself.
A loud bang filled the bullpen. All eyes turned towards the cause of the sound. Jane Rizzoli had slammed Lieutenant Sean Cavanaugh's office door. The sound of her stomping footsteps was the only noise that filled the room. Without making eye contact with anyone Jane pulled her gold badge from her belt, her gun already absent. With a feral growl Jane spun and threw it at the wall where it crashed loudly and fell to the floor. The action seemed to please Jane's anger because she quickly turned on her desk, throwing everything to the floor. Soon her computer was in a smashed heap on top of all of her paperwork.
"Rizzoli! I have ordered you to leave this building!" Cavanaugh yelled as he appeared in the room.
"I don't take any fucking orders from you anymore."
"You're fired Rizzoli. If you want to add charges to that keep going."
"Fuck you! Fuck you all!" Jane turned as if to leave but her eyes caught the picture hung to the whiteboard. The beautiful honey hair. Shining hazel eyes. Maura. Jane moved quickly and grabbed the photo. She had plenty but no one in that room deserved to look at the picture of perfection. No one. Not even her. She ripped the picture in half and then half again, letting the pieces drop to the floor. She pushed the whiteboard so that it fell over.
"Rizzoli!"
"Alright!" Jane stormed out of the room, bypassing the elevator and running down the stairs.
No one moved.
"Korsak. Frost. Get to work."
"Sean-" Korsak started.
"No Vince. You need to find the person who caused this shit storm. Jane isn't coming back. She's done. Do this for Dr Isles."
Korsak nodded.
Frost sighed and stood. He moved to the whiteboard and righted it. He picked up the torn picture, grabbed some tape and added it back to the board. It was almost poetic; Maura's image torn into four, resembling the hearts of every person that knew her.
"Don't worry doc, we'll find your killer."
Korsak glanced quickly at Dean, smirking to himself as he read Dean's shocked but happy expression. Perfect.
End chapter 8 :)