Bond is pretty sure he is being watched. He feels the tell-tale tingling on his neck; his instincts practically scream at him. He also knows that it is not an enemy watching him; it lacks the edge of animosity and the signs of danger. If he didn't know better he'd even say it's the doll watching him, but that's probably just a figment of his imagination caused by the fact that he has placed the doll rather prominently in his living room. And of course the steady blinking. He has already picked up the doll several times to get a better idea how this works, but so far he can't detect anything. On the third day he can't stand it any longer. Especially since he has nothing else to occupy himself with. He grabs the doll and heads to MI6.
His first way leads him to M's office in the vague hope that maybe the bureaucrats at MI5 finally agreed to get him back doing his job, but he only encounters Eve, who immediately gets curious.
"What are you doing with a doll, Bond? Something I should tell medical about?"
He certainly won't discuss with her that he feels being watched by an antique doll especially after this opening, so he simply explains that it's a family heritage.
"And you bring it to MI6 because …"
"I thought I could do some research on it," he offers as an explanation, but from her reaction she sees right through him.
"You mean, Q could do some research on it."
He doesn't bother denying it, simply heads out to q-branch and even holds the door for Eve, who naturally follows him. Entering q-branch, he immediately spots the Quartermaster at one of the workbenches in the centre of the room, apparently building some device. From afar, Bond can only tell that it is not a computer, coming nearer he sees that is a wristwatch, one of the fancier brands if he is any judge. He watches Q placing a little ruby carefully in the watch case and waits until the delicate task is finished until he asks, "Branching out into jewellery?"
"Only the best for the agents," Q answers while he closes the back lid on the watch and explains further: "We upgraded your watch a little bit. You know beside the standard specs as GPS, flashlight, improved water resistance. You can now also use it as an emergency transmitter, laser cutter and let's not forget a flash drive."
Q carefully screws the lid closed.
"Does it also explode?" Bond smirks.
"Bond!" Q's sigh sounds strangely exasperated and fond at the same time. Behind his back, Bond can hear Eve giggling. Q takes the watch from the workbench and finally turns to Bond, obviously intending to give it to the agent and therefore looking at him for the first time since he had entered the room.
"What is that?" Q obviously doesn't expect his agents to enter q-branch with dolls.
"Funny you should ask. I want you to meet your doppelgänger." Until now Bond has just held the doll in his left hand at his side, but now he swings it up and sets it on his right arm to present it to the Quartermaster with an amused smirk.
"My doppelgänger?" Q eyes the doll carefully "You know, it is said that everybody has six doppelgängers in the world, but I never thought they also came as dolls."
Bond smirks again; this time because of Q's inquiring eyebrows.
"It's an old family heritage. Bond wanted you to do some research", Eve explains helpfully, only smiling at Bond when he throws her a nasty glance.
"You must have taken the wrong turn, this is q-branch not a detective agency or the research department for that matter."
At Q's statement, Bond turns to look back at him and simply waits. He can see Q's resolve weakening and it takes a lot of effort not to smile at Q's next sigh. This time, the exasperation is clear.
"Could you be more specific? What do you want me to find? You obviously haven't noticed but I have other things to do." Q indicates the workbenches surrounding them.
Having won, Bond decides to be gracious: "Take your time. It has spent the last decades in a trunk; a few more days in a lab won't do any harm."
Bond thinks he hears Q muttering something under his breath that sounds like 'I wouldn't bet on it' but decides to let it go. Instead he holds the doll out to Q who accepts it with two raised eyebrows. When one of Q's minions tries to get the quartermaster's attention, Bond decides not to push his luck and leaves with Eve in tow. Maybe she'd be willing to share some information on the MI5-investigation if he offers her coffee.
Q indulges a moment in following Bond's retreating back with his eyes. The man certainly knows how to wear a suit. He catches Eve's knowing smirk behind Bond's back and sighs again. It was definitely a mistake letting Eve be in control of his drinks during the last office party and allowing the following interrogation. He'd rather not think about how he practically told her that he has a crush on this particular agent (even if he never intents to act on it). It doesn't help that she just witnessed him giving in to Bond's wishes. She certainly would return very soon to talk about today's events.
"Shall I take it?" The voice of Serena, his second in command, interrupts his thoughts and it takes him moment to understand her question.
"No, no, I'll take it to my office. I'll be back in a bit."
He walks the few steps to his office and glances over the array of several projects in different stages of progress and wonders where it might be safest. Deciding on his desk for the moment he finally takes a closer look at the doll. Eyes that are admittedly similar to his stare back at him and he feels oddly examined. The doll looks at him curiously but with a sudden blink it seems as if a smile appears. Deciding that it must be a trick of the light, he places it carefully on the desk, but not without reassuring it.
"I'll be careful with you."
He can't resist wiping one of its curls out of his face and correcting the glasses on its little nose.
"I hope you don't mind sharing the office with me. But I guess after living with Bond you'll see I'm quite a delightful companion."
As if in affirmation, the doll blinks and Q makes a mental note to find out more about the mechanism behind it. A loud crash from the lab reminds him that he left Serena waiting for him. So he hastens back into the lab and blames it on the noises from the next room that it sounds as if somebody answered, "Yes, you are."
James knows that boredom is an essential part of each mission. He may even go as far and acknowledge that it is often enough the largest part of a mission. But he can't remember one instance when he was more bored. Even worse, given the mission outline there isn't any chance that this will change soon.
He just sits there and waits until the arrival of a special team and more or less babysits a local weapons dealer with possible connections to terrorist cells. By now, Bond knows with all of his experience and every instinct in his gut that this possible connection is just theoretical (as theoretical as any arms dealer's connection to terrorists are) and that he watches the most boring arms dealer in the most boring hotel room in the history of boring hotel rooms.
"I thought I was cleared by MI5," he complains to Q one night. These daily check-ins with the Quartermaster have quickly become the highlight of his day.
"You were. Why are you complaining?" Q answers distractedly.
"Because clearly I'm being punished. Or worse – it's a nice way to force me into retirement. Because fishing or whatever retired agents do right now seems much more interesting than this job. And by the way, if it is the latter, just for the record, I prefer to be shot."
"Duly noted, Bond," is the dry response. "Anything else I should add to your file while I'm at it?"
"Well, if I don't get out of here very soon, 'bored to death' will not be any longer simply a figure of speech; it will be a legitimate cause of death."
Bond hears soft laughter on the other side.
"Don't worry, you'll be back in England soon enough. Or I could send you Eve for entertainment. She's complaining about M and threatening to go back being an agent."
"Now, I'm pretty sure I'm being punished. Don't you remember what happened the last time Ms. Moneypenny was on a mission?"
"I thought she did her job rather well in Macau."
"Thank you, but I pass. I'd rather recount the bathroom tiles." Bond states with decision.
"You counted the bathroom tiles?" The amusement is clear in Q's voice and Bond can't help the smile as he answers, "348."
"348?"
"Yes." Bond confirms, although the counting of the tiles is a slight exaggeration on his part, he had only played with the thought of counting them.
"Okay, maybe this will be more interesting for you. I've completed my research on your doll."
Oh yes, this is definitely more interesting.
"And?"
He can hear Q shuffling some paper around.
"It's a so-called companion doll."
"Companion doll?"
"Yes, companion as in part of a pair. According to my research, the doll was used in some love rituals."
"Love rituals?" Bond parrots for confirmation, wondering what to make of that information.
"Yes, apparently it's an ancient Welsh spiritual tradition, some sources cite Celtic origin. An unwed woman would create a doll which was to resemble the love of her life as closely as possible and during a thunderstorm her lover must wear a ruby while she wore an amulet with lavender in it. They had to touch each other and when the lightning struck they would fall in a deep love that would last until their death."
"That's what you found in your research?"
"Well, I could also go in the history of automatons and lifelike dolls, but I thought you'd be more interested in the magic part." Q defends himself. "Especially since those dolls are pretty rare, because magic and witchcraft were not so well-liked in old times. It is almost a miracle that yours is in such a good condition. I'm sorry if this is not what you hoped for."
"It is certainly something," Bond answers. Certainly something that he hadn't expected.
"Witchcraft, yes?"
"Yes, witchcraft," Q confirms. "I've found several online forums which debated whether this ritual should be considered white or black magic but the discussion got exhausting after a few pages."
"How do you know it is a companion doll and not just one of the old automatic dolls?" Bond asks.
"Because he and I spent an embarrassing twenty minutes where I undressed him and took photos. There were runes carved on his body."
"He?" Bond laughs.
"He," Q states.
Silence settles until Bond speaks again.
"So what you are saying is that apparently one of my ancestors tried to hook up with your lookalike?"
"There is no need to be sarcastic about it."
"Oh no, I wasn't sarcastic," Q can hear the smirk in Bond's voice. "I merely thought that my ancestors had great taste in men."
Q doesn't feel often speechless, but right now he is very grateful for Eve's impeccable timing, giving him an excuse to end the discussion with Bond and take care of one of his other agents who is not so mind-consuming as 007.