Chapter 47: Coping With Loss
"Who was the post for??" Stefanie asked as Tinkerbell flew off into the night sky.
"Yvette. I just want to inform her parents about my parents' death." Lily said. The three girls were hanging out together in Stefanie's bedroom.
"They're coming for the funeral tomorrow??" Arabella asked.
"I don't know about that. It's gonna be the last time I ever see my parents and Petunia." Lily remarked.
"We're going with you tomorrow." Stefanie said, partially trying to see what Lily was thinking about.
"Thanks guys. I really appreciate that. But believe me when I say I'm fine." Lily smiled at both girls gratefully. "I know you two have been entering my thoughts. I'm really glad that I've friends like you."
"Friends forever!!" Stefanie exclaimed.
"Till death do us part!!" Arabella added.
"You, the cause of their death, still dare to come back." Petunia said angrily.
"They're my parents too and I'm just paying my respect to them. Please mind your own business." Lily remarked coolly.
"Get out of here now."
"Don't worry. I won't stay long if I want. I'll leave when the funeral is over." Lily said calmly, totally ignoring the hysterical Petunia.
"Don't pollute us with your freakiness." With that, Petunia left Lily, Arabella and Stefanie standing with the rest of the family and friends of Daryl and Dawn Evans.
"You alright??" Stefanie whispered to Lily.
"Don't worry. I'm as fine as before." Lily whispered back and gave Stefanie an assuring smile before returning to the Pastor speech.
"I wonder how's Lily coping with everything." James said. It had been a week since Lily's parents' funeral and Lily had been behaving absolutely normal.
"She seems fine actually." Sirius remarked. "Lily is taking it well."
"I believe she's alright. We're her friends for four years, don't you know her better than this??" Remus commented. "I believe Lily when she say she is fine. She is a strong girl."
"Anyway why are you so concern?? Jamesie boy??" Sirius teased.
"Everyone is concerned. Dumbledore and Pomfrey are coming down to check on Lily to see how she is doing." James said as a matter-of-fact.
"Whatever you say. We can't force you to admit anything. Can we, Sirius??" Remus winked at Sirius. They jumped onto James and pinned him down.
"What are you trying to do??" James struggled to get free.
"Do you like Lily or not??" Remus asked the struggling James.
"I'll train harder to fight Voldemort." Lily said boldly.
"Lily, do you understand how strong Voldemort is??" Dumbledore said. He was speaking with Lily privately at a corner while the rest of the five were practicing their powers. They had resumed practicing three times a week during the break, training harder and longer than before.
"I understand. He is getting stronger with his team of deatheaters. I know right now we're just six fifteen years old. We've nothing to fight against him. But someday we're going to defeat him. Good prevail evil."
"Don't strain yourself. Your health is equally important."
"Yes, sir. I know what I'm doing."
"Are we ready for the next full moon??" James asked Sirius and Remus. The three boys were hanging out at James' bedroom.
"Peter is practicing on his own at home too. We can have one final practice when school starts." Sirius said.
"Too bad we can't use those animal powder. Ten hours is too long during school days. We can't use it now either. Someone is bound to notice that we go missing overnight." James pointed out.
"Remus, we can accompany you when school starts. Our whole plan is proceeding really well." Sirius said.
"Thanks guys. I really appreciate all that you had done." Remus said gratefully.
"That's what friends are for." James said and gave a slap on Remus' back.
Dearest Lils..
Sorry to hear about your parents' death. My parents were not able to attend the funeral due to their busy schedule.
We really miss you lots. Our school term is starting soon and everything is going to be so different. How I wish that we were not half the globe away from you.
Jen, Shan and Von send their regards over as well. It had only been two months since we returned and the time is so difficult to pass without all of you around.
By the way, F-Four seems to be keeping in really close contact with the Marauders. I had seen James, Sirius' and Remus' owls coming here now and then.
Hope to hear from you soon.
With lots of hugs and kisses, chocolates and ice-creams,
Yvette
"Times really flies. We're going to be fifth year in just a month time." Lily commented as she folded the letter, putting it aside so she could reply it the next day.
"We better get some rest. We're going to practice Quidditch tomorrow." Stefanie remarked. The three girls climbed into the humongous bed quickly.
"Good night."
"Hey Marauders, we're having much more fun in school then ever. It was really good to know you guys, giving us so much prank ideas that we never thought of before. But anyway the last thing we did was to make the school filled with harmless monkeys. It was rather advance transfiguration but it had driven the teachers crazy. And the headmaster had given us a day off from school to clear the campus and hence we have free time to write to you. From F-Four." James folded the parchment after reading. Shannon's owl had just dropped an owl post for the Marauders again at the Potters' manor.
"From the language, I think it was written by Shannon." Remus commented.
"I think so too. His English is a little strange." Sirius said.
"They're Chinese, and this is their second language. I don't blame them." James pointed out.
"Anyway it's about time for school soon. Any brilliant prank??" Sirius asked.
"Actually I've an idea." James grinned cheekily.
"Do you remember how we got to know each other??" James asked Lily. The six of them had gathered in James' humongous room. There was more stuff inside now, with a newer and bigger television, the newest set of Playstation. Sirius and Arabella were playing with the Playstation game Time Crisis 2, trying to beat each other at the game. Stefanie and Remus were behind cheering them on.
"Erm.. I know Bell first outside Leaky Cauldron, then met Stef when we enter Diagon Alley. How did I know Sir and Rem??" Lily said and tried to remember the details. "I think we probably met on the train. I remember seeing Rem and Sir at the last compartment. You're probably there as well."
"Yup. That's right." James said excitedly. How could Lily forget me of all people?? "Remember the first prank we played on you girls??"
"You turned us red on the first day of school and earned your first detention in Hogwarts." Lily said without hesitation. "Do I have any memories with you only?? It's like most of them consist of Sir and Rem and I think I can remember those rather distinctly."
"Do you remember your date to the Halloween Ball??" James asked.
"Hmm.. So I supposed it's you. That portion of the date for Halloween Ball is empty. I remembered dancing with Shannon and a couple of guys. F-Four did a dance and you guys drugged the fruit punch and caused everyone fart at midnight." Lily said, laughing at the thought.
"You really can't remember anything about me??" James said sadly.
"I don't. But don't be so sad. Maybe someday I might. Even if I won't, we can build more new memories." Lily said optimistically.
"I think that's probably the only way. It's just so unfair that you remembered everything except me."
"Well, I supposed that how things works. I don't know as well. It's just so unexplainable."
"I'll keep trying to remind you of our memories. You just fill up the blanks."
"Thanks James."
"Oh, remember what we got for you for Christmas last year??"
"Yup. I love that pendant of the silver Lily. You all got me a pendant because all of you had a very special one except me. I never removed it since that day." Lily said and she pulled out the silver necklace on from her tee shirt.
"Looks like we really never have any special memories together. It's always the six of us."
"Lily!! James!! Come and join us. We're starting a men-versus-girls fight in this game!!" Sirius shouted at the two of them.
"Hey!! Why did you call yourselves men and us girls??" Arabella said and kicked him on his left shin.
"Ouch!!" Sirius whined. "Look how girlie you are. We're perfect gentlemen." Arabella kicked on Sirius' right shin. "Hey, how are you going to compensate the star beater of Gryffindor??"
"Excuse me. I think I'm the star beater." Remus joked.
"Not for long. Just wait till my shin recover." Sirius continued whining.
"Look who is the sissy around here?? Whining like a girl!!" Arabella said and attempted to kick Sirius' shin again but he jumped backwards this time.
"I'm not stupid enough to let you cripple me." Sirius said in a pretended manly voice.
"Okok, you two can stop arguing. Let's start with the game." Lily laughed and went to join in the fun.
Why do I feel so sad when Lily don't remember me?? Why am I trying so hard to make her remember me?? I don't have a crush on her, do I??
"Jamesie boy!!" Sirius called out at a dazed James.
"Hey, the game can't start without you." Remus walked over and dragged James off his couch before he could respond.
"What??" James asked.
"Let's start on the men-versus-girls game." Sirius explained.
"It's boys-versus-girls!!" Arabella remarked.
"Whatever, c'mon, let's starts before Sir and Bell start fighting physically." Stefanie said, being the peacemaker of the two of them.
"We're not going to fight!!" Sirius and Arabella told Stefanie at the same time.
"Say 'I like Lily'. Say 'I like Lily'. Say 'I like Lily'." Sirius looked into James' eyes and pretended to be hypnotizing James in front of the group. Lily was blushing very furiously. They had just reminded her the incident whereby they met Harry Potter in the future.
"I like Lily." James said, looking a little confounded.
"Look, he finally admits that he like Lily." Sirius jumped around gleefully. Lily was keeping very quiet on her couch and stared at the floor.
"I like Lily." James repeated, still looking a little dazed.
"Say 'I love Sirius'." Remus told the dazed James jokingly.
"I love Sirius." James repeated after Remus.
"You can cut the act of being hypnotized." Sirius said jokingly.
"I love Sirius." James repeated.
"That's a horrible thing to say. Please do not let anyone know that or they think that the most gorgeous and eligible bachelor of the century is a gay." Sirius pretended to be serious.
"I love Sirius."
"JAMES!!" Sirius exclaimed dramatically.
"Oh Merlin. Did I just hear James saying that he love Sirius??" Fion said, walking into James' bedroom.
"He did say that because we pretended to hypnotize him to admit that he like Lily." Remus explained.
"I like Lily."
"You can stop pretending now!!" Sirius exclaimed. "Fion is here. And please don't ruin my reputation!!"
"I like Lily."
"He looked like he is really hypnotized." Fion studied the expression on James. "I don't believe my brother will say he like a guy so openly, perhaps not even as a joke."
"How could he?? Unless Sirius has the ability to hypnotize people." Arabella pointed out. Lily was still keeping quiet at her corner seat.
"Well, I don't know about that. For all you know he might have." Fion said.
"Let me try to hypnotize Remus."
"No way!! I don't wanna be your guinea pig!!" Remus said and closed his eyes immediately. All of them laughed at Remus' reaction except James who was still looking a little dazed.
"C'mon. We're good friends, aren't we??"
"NO!! I don't wanna say stupid things!!" Remus said and kept his eyes shut.
"Lily!!" Sirius said in an extremely smooth tone.
"NO!!" Lily closed her eyes immediately and covered her face with her palms. When Sirius turned to Arabella and Stefanie, both girls closed their eyes instantly.
"Look like no one is willing. And don't ever try on me." Fion said. "It's best if you tell Dumbledore about it tomorrow when you've your practice."
"Hey, you all are supposed to be my best friends. And you, my sister, isn't supporting my supernatural power at all!!" Sirius said pointing at each of them.
"Sorry, we just don't want to say stupid things like the way we did to James." Remus grinned cheekily at Sirius.
"Why don't you guys start getting him out of the hypnotized state??" Fion suggested. James was sitting very still at his couch looking remotely distant.
"Let me do it." Sirius offered.
"Go ahead." Fion grinned.
"JAMESIE!!" Sirius shouted and started shaking James violently.
"SIRIUS!! ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME??" James shouted suddenly.
"You're back!!" Fion laughed.
"What you mean by I'm back??"
"Sirius hypnotized you and I think he probably have that power to do so." Fion said, grinning at his brother.
"And you admitted that you like Lily." Arabella added.
"WHAT??" James looked absolutely horrified.
"And you also admitted that you love Sirius." Fion added jokingly. All of them laughed at the joke.
"SIRIUS!! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" James said and chased after Sirius around the room, grabbing whatever he laid his hands on to throw at Sirius.
"Lily, you alright??" Stefanie asked. The three girls now lay in their bedroom in Potter's Manor. It was the last night of their summer break.
"I'm fine, really happy and thankful. What you mean by if I'm all right??" Lily replied Stefanie, looking confused and sleepy.
"Over everything. Your parents, your sister, James, practice, school, holidays. Everything generally." Arabella said.
"I'm mourning over my parents, alright. I'm sad and miss them lots. But I'm not going to let that affect me for the rest of my life. It had made me a stronger person. I'm going to live the way they wanted me to. Now I'm more persistent and determined to fight Voldemort but not in the vengeful way. Just wanna get rid of evil. I'm practicing harder than before, but I won't overwork myself." Lily explained, thinking everything that had happened over the summer holidays. "I won't be seeing my sister anymore I believe. At least I hope I won't. I'll miss my home, but not my sister. We're not close at all anyway. I kinda look forward to school, to see our dear old roommates Sam and Joe. Miss them over the holidays although we owl each other now and then. I'll always remember the great times we had together in the dorm, dressing up for one another and slumber party." Lily looked up at the ceiling, deep in thought.
"How about this summer break?? Do you have anything to say??" Stefanie asked.
"Many things had happened. I know I'm stronger than before, emotionally and mentally. My parents will live in my heart and mind forever. I know I've the best friends anyone can ask for. Now I'm living for my friends. There must be a reason to live. One of the best things that happened to me in my life is the chance for me to know all of you." Lily said thoughtfully.
"And James??" Arabella inquired.
"I don't know. I really can't seem to remember anything between us in the past. He said that we didn't have any memories that's just consist only the two of us. Anyway it's like I'm getting to know him all over again. He's a great friend."
"Do you like him??"
"Yeah, I like him as a friend as much as I like Remus and Sirius."
"You used to have a huge crush on him."
"I do??"
"Yes."
"Can you remember??"
"I can't."
"Then do you have a crush on him now??"
"Actually no. I think I rather have a crush on Remus than James. No offence Stef. I'm not going to fight over a guy with my best friend."
"I understand. But we all believe that James like you."
"No, he doesn't. We're just good friends."
"You'll know someday."
"You two are meant for each other right from the beginning."
"How did you know??"
"I can foresee the future, have you forgotten??"
"Can you say what's gonna happen next??"
"I know, I can't tell because it's just not
supposed to. Life is like a book waiting to be read. If I tell you what's going
to happen next, nothing will ever be a surprise anymore. I know how that felt."
"Oh, Bell."
"It's ok. This is going to be my life. I can't do anything about it."
"Can you tell us who you would marry in the future??"
"Sirius."
"WHAT??"
"Yes, it's Sirius."
"But you two-"
"I'm trying to change my destiny because I had already foresee my future. I don't want to marry him."
"Perhaps in the future you might want to."
"Perhaps. But I want to change that fact. And if one day I really marry Sirius, Lily will end up with James."
"What about me??"
"I don't think it's right to say. Because things won't happen the way we want it to."
"We understand. Let's not talk about the future now."
"Right now all we need is sleep."
"That's right."
"Good night!!"