Chapter 3

If Jacob Could Possibly Remember that He's my Pack Leader, Not my Father

"Leah, we really should get home," Seth said. "It's getting late."

I checked my watch, surprised. I knew that it had gotten dark a while ago, but to be honest I had lost track of the time. It was almost seven. I was slightly shocked. Where had the time gone?

I had spent the entire party talking to Steve. I could talk to him forever. He was witty and intelligent and sweet and kind and… adjectives failed. Pretty dang amazing.

"Time for you to go already?" Steve asked, looking as disappointed as I felt.

A shot of something warm and fluttering went straight to my stomach.

I got up, unwilling to leave his company and the warm glow of Sam's living room.

"Can I walk you to your car?" Steve asked.

I ducked my head, slightly embarrassed.

"Actually, I walked. My house isn't far."

"Oh. Well then allow me to walk you home," Steve offered.

I could feel myself blushing harder. Truth be told, I didn't want to let him out of my sight. Today might turn out to have been just a dream, and when I woke up I would be back to Leah the total outcast who nobody wanted around.

I shrugged into my coat, glad I had worn my nice one. Cream wool that fell to my knees with a big belt around my waist that made me look like I had a figure. Seth was already walking ahead, pointedly not paying attention to Steve or I.

The night was lovely. Cold and clear, with so many stars above and crunching snow beneath. Someone had plowed the road from Sam's house while we had been at the party, so we didn't have to walk single file in tire tracks. Steve walked beside me.

I looked up, and my breath caught in my throat as I saw the shining blanket of stars stretched out above me.

"Beautiful," I breathed, my breath coming out in a puff of smoke.

Steve smiled.

"I never figured you for one of those girls who likes the night," he said softly. "You seem to me like a child of the sunlight, warm and bright."
I was glad that the darkness covered my blush. Me, warm and bright? That was a joke. But he was sweet to have said it.

"'I have been one acquainted with the night'" I quoted. I was thinking of those superstitions involving werewolves and full moons. Considering we weren't actually werewolves, but shape-shifters who happened to turn into wolves, it didn't apply. But still, it was hard not to think of myself as a werewolf, and all the stuff that went along with it.

Steve grinned at my comment.

"Didn't take you for a poetry girl either. Robert Frost?"

I nodded.

"We studied him in high school."

"'The woods are lovely, dark and deep.'" Steve quoted under his breath. "'But I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep. And miles to go before I sleep.'"

I grinned at him.

"You're good at this."

He shrugged.

"I did some Lit in college."

I nodded. My house was coming into view, and I tried to push it further back by the sheer force of my mind. I didn't want to be parted from Steve. Not ever. Not even for the night, even though I knew that I would end up at Sam's house tomorrow. I begrudged every step, because it shortened our time together.

"Well, here I am," I said hesitantly, as I stood on the porch.

Steve stood very close to me, his face illuminated by the porch light. Seth had got home before us. He was so close that for one heady second I thought he was going to kiss me. Instead, he raised an arm, and brushed my cheek.

"'Two roads diverged in a yellow wood and I, I took the one less travelled by. And that has made all the difference,'" he whispered. His breath fanned out across my cheek, making my colour rise once again. I stared into his eyes, forgetting for a second that really, we had only just met. I wanted so much to kiss him. He was looking into my eyes as well, a small smile playing on the corners of his lips.

Abruptly, he dropped his hand, and turned.

"Goodnight, Leah," he said, and walked away.

"Goodnight," I whispered, knowing that he couldn't hear me.

I stood, frozen, on my own doorstep for a long moment, trying to collect my scattered wits. It seemed like they were strewn from Sam's house to mine, and it was difficult for me to gather them back up.

I knew that I had to go inside eventually, or I would freeze to death. A low rumble told me that I would also starve to death if I didn't eat something as well. With a shake of my head, I walked inside.

As soon as I got in the door, Seth was there, looming in front of me.

"Spill," he said.

I scowled.

"Go away, Seth."

He shook his head.

"You can tell me now, or I can overhear when you tell Jacob later."

I gritted my teeth.

"Is Jacob coming?" I asked, fighting to keep my voice level

"He wants to talk to you. Like he wouldn't notice how you acted today at the party. He's coming over as soon as he drives Nessie home. He said to consider this your warning."

I felt the hot bubble of rage slide down my spine. My hands started shaking, and I clenched them into fists to stop them. There was no way I was ruining my favorite coat because I couldn't control my temper. Why was any of this Jacob's business anyways? Why did he have to be so darn nosy?

Seth held out his hands in front of him, as if to shield himself from my inevitable explosion into a werewolf.

"Don't give me that look," he said. "It's not my fault."

I growled under my breath.

"Why does Jacob think he has to know everything about my life?" I demanded, already knowing why.

Seth rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Leah. Don't be stupid. He's the Alpha. Whatever happens to the pack is his business. He needs to know if there's going to be a problem."

"It's not a problem," I said, lying through clenched teeth. Of course it was a problem. I had imprinted. On what plane of existence could that not be a problem? I just wasn't ready to tell Jacob about it yet.

"So are you going to tell me or not?" Seth asked, the eager took returning to his face. "I'm going to know eventually anyways."

And he was right. The worst thing about being in a pack was that everyone could hear everything. No secrets. I sighed, feeling the anger drain away from me. It didn't do any good to be angry anyways. I didn't want to share my secret with Jacob or the rest of the pack, but they would know as soon as I phased. It wasn't like I could keep my mind on anything else but Steve for very long.

"You can hear with Jake hears. I don't want to say this twce. I don't even want to say it once."

Seth grimaced.

"Fine, whatever. Keep your secrets for a little bit longer."

He bounded up the stairs, two at a time.

I took off my coat., and trailed to the kitchen, pulling ingredients for spaghetti out as I walked past. Cooking always helped me think more clearly. Everything was so much simpler when all I had to worry about was to watch my teaspoons and tablespoons. Besides, food was always a good idea when any of my pack were coming over. If there were two things I knew two things about teenage werewolves, it was that:

1. they were more inclined to be open minded and less cranky when they were fed, and

2. they were always hungry.

I set a huge pot of water on the stovetop to boil, and started chopping onions. It was so much easier to do things like this now that I was on my own. I felt like I had room to breathe, away from my mother's smothering presence. As much as I loved my Mom, I knew that the whole werewolf thing freaked her out, and she was always nervous when it was talked about. It's not that I had moved out; more like she had. Two years ago she had moved in with Charlie Swan on a semi-permanent basis, which had become more permanent over the past year. She'd wanted me and Seth to love in with her, but I'd protested. Besides the fact that I didn't much fancy living with Charlie (he was a nice guy and all, but the thought of Mom being with anyone except Dad was still weird), it made it seem so much more permanent, like he was actually part of our family. I'd told her Forks was too far from the pack and my job, and that Seth was still in La Push high school and should finish there. Mom had been in and out of both houses for a while, but now she only came to visit us once a week. We were sort of independent.

So it was sort of like having my own place. Except that my kid brother lived with me, and that my house had sort of become werewolf central. My house served for my pack like Sam's did for his. Probably for the same reason – I was the only one among them who could cook anything worth eating.

I turned off the heat on the ground beef, and threw spaghetti noodles into the boiling water. The frying onions left a warm and tantalizing scent in the air.

Seth walked into the kitchen, obviously following his nose.

"Hey, that smells great."

I smiled tightly. It was nice when someone appreciated my food. Even if those someones were four giant, idiotic boys.

"Hand me that can of tomato sauce?" I asked him.

He grabbed the can opener, and opened the can before he handed it to me.

I glanced at the clock. If Jacob was going to come, he should just come, instead of taking his time. I knew that it didn't take this long to drive to the Cullens and back, so he was probably staying with Nessie for a while before coming.

"Set the table?" I asked Seth, adding the spices to the sauce. Two tablespoons of oregano, two of basil, one of salt, half a teaspoon of marjoram, half of thyme. I measured and stirred, smelling the fragrant scent of tomatoes and spices.

"Hey, that smells good," Jacob said, echoing Seth's words as he came in the door.

I wrinkled my nose at the sharp, sweet scent he brought with him. Vampire.

"Thought you might be hungry," I said.

Jake grinned at me.

"Have I told you how much I love you today, Leah?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Me, or my cooking?"

"Both," Jacob answered, plopping himself down on a kitchen chair.

"Well you'll have to wait another few minutes, the sauce needs to simmer," I said, putting the lid on the pot and turning down the heat under it.

Jacob shrugged.

"That's ok, I can wait for a while," he said. "Besides, there's something I wanted to talk to you about."

I groaned inwardly. Couldn't this conversation wait until after supper? No need to ruin a perfectly good pasta with strong emotions.

"And don't even try to get out of it," Jake continued.

I scowled at him.

He winced.

"Come on, Leah. It wasn't as if you were being subtle or anything."

I threw up my hands in despair.

"Do you want me to come out and say it, Jacob?"

He gave me a hard look.

"Fine," I grumbled. "I imprinted. Happy?"

"On Steve Uley." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, Jacob. On Sam's older brother."

Jake wrinkled his nose.

"That's weird."

I gave a huff of frustration.

"Don't you think I know that? I'm the one who's the most weirded out by this whole thing, ok?"

Jacob shook his head.

"You should have told me right away. You shouldn't wait for me to come to you."

I growled under my breath.

"Why? So you could look over my boyfriends for me? You're not my father, Jacob."

Jacob's eyes shot sparks.

"I know that. But I do have a right to know when something changes in my pack. For all our safety," he snapped, echoing Seth's earlier words.

My hands shook again. I clenched them on the edge of the table.

"You would have known anyways, as soon as I phased."

"But I want to know sooner than that. I think I have a right," Jacob said, his voice quieter now.

"I didn't even know myself, ok? I could hardly tell what was happening, let alone tell you." I sucked in a breath through my clenched teeth, and slowly released it. I hated being scared of losing my temper all the time. It was so annoying to always have to be in tight control of my emotions.

"I just want to make sure you're ok, Leah. Despite what you think, I do care about you," Jake said. He seemed more in control of his temper, too.

I buried my head in my hands, unable to stop the wave of emotion that crashed over me. I could feel my shoulders tremble with suppressed sobs.

"Hey Leah, you ok?" Seth asked, his hand on my arm.

"No, I'm not ok," I whispered.

Seth wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulders and held me tightly to his side.

"It's gunna be ok, Sis," he said softly.

After a moment I raised my head. I knew that I must be a mess, eyes rimmed with red and hair everywhere, but I didn't care.

"It's just all so… new," I said in a small voice. "I don't know what's going on, and I'm not used to that. I'm scared."

Jake chuckled.

"Yeah, it is a little scary at first. But it's going to be ok, really."

"I didn't think I could imprint," I said softly. "Biological dead end, remember?"

Jake made a face.

"Well it seems like you were wrong there."

"Yeah," I drew a hand over my face. That was one thing to be thankful for.

"And at least you're not in love with Sam any more," Seth said. Ok, two things to be thankful for.

"Makes sense, if you think about it," Jacob said, contemplatively.

I looked up to see him staring off into space, with an expression of deep thought on his face.

"Makes sense?" I asked. "You're sure not making any."

Jacob gave me a small half smile.

"Well all of us who had been in love before we transformed are now imprinted on relatives of the people we were in love with."

I raised my eyebrow, not quite following his logic. He could see that. He sighed, and tried to explain himself.

"I was in love with Bella before I transformed into a werewolf."

"You were in love with Bella after you transformed into a werewolf too," I said, remember the images in his mind that I had not wanted to see.

Jake held his hand out.

"Let me finish, Leah. I was in love with Bella, until I saw Nessie. Then I realized that I had loved Bella because on some level she reminded me of what I would love in Nessie. Subconsciously, I was in love with Nessie's qualities in Bella. Does that make any sense?"

"You loved Bella because she reminded you of Nessie? But you hadn't even met Nessie yet. Nessie wasn't even born," I said.

"I know that. But somehow part of me recognized Nessie in Bella, and that's why I was in love with her. Think about it. Of the three people who were in love before the transformation, we've all imprinted on relatives of the person we were in love with. Sam on your cousin, you on Sam's brother, me on Bella's daughter. Sam loved you because you reminded him of Emily. And you loved Sam because he reminded you of Steve."

I shook my head in disbelief. That would have been the stupidest idea that I had ever heard. Except that… it made sense. In some weird and twisted way, Jake's logic worked.

"But I really loved Sam," I said, not realizing till afterwards that I had used the past tense. "I didn't love him for Steve, I loved him for him."

"I'm not trying to belittle what you felt for Sam. I really loved Bella too," Jacob said, leaning back in his chair. "But I think that's how imprinting works. Subconsciously we fall for the people that remind us of the one we're supposed to be with someday."

I shook my head. This werewolf thing got weirder and weirder by the day.

A timer went off, and I got up from the table. I uncovered the pot with the sauce in it, and a delicious scent wafted out. Jacob's stomach growled loudly, breaking the tension. We all laughed.

"Hungry?" I quipped.

"You know I am. Especially for your spaghetti."

With that kind of encouragement, it was no wonder I cooked for all the boys. They were so appreciative of my (admittedly meager) talents when it came to the kitchen. It was nice to be appreciated for something.

I served Jake first, then Seth, then myself. More salt, less oil next time, I thought as I chewed. Sometimes I forgot that the recipe says a tablespoon of oil, but really I only needed half that. The two boys didn't seem to notice. They ate with a gusto that made me smile a little sarcastically. They were growing werewolves, after all. Although if Jake grew any more he would officially be classified as a giant.

I ate two plates of spaghetti. Jake had four. Seth had five. By the time they were finished eating, I was done the dishes and was putting them away.

"That was good," Seth commented. Jacob nodded his head in agreement.

"I knew there was a reason we keep Leah around," he joked.

"Yeah. We all know it's not my winning personality," I said, smiling slightly.

"Well, you're not as annoying as Paul, that's something," Jake shot back. We shared an amused glace. It had been a joke between us ever since I had first joined Jake's pack, when he had commented that I may have been annoying, but I wasn't as annoying as Paul, who had imprinted on Jake's sister and taken to spending every free minute at the Black house. He still did that, although now he and Rachel were engaged. Jake loved that.

Jake glanced at the kitchen clock and then grimaced.

"Time to join the rest of the pack and do our rounds," he said.

Suddenly I felt cold. As soon as I phased, Quil and Embry would know about Steve. I just knew that they would never let me hear the end of it. Especially Embry. He had been harping on about how at least the majority of our pack hadn't imprinted. But now that I had, it was only him and Seth. He was going to be mad about it. And probably tease the life out of me as a result. That was one thing I was not looking forward to.

Jacob must have caught the look on my face. He grimaced.

"It's not going to be that bad," he said.

"It's not your secret," I shot back. But I sighed resignedly none the less. If I was going to do this, I might as well get it over it.

Author's Note: Yup, that's my grand idea for why I picked Sam's brother. It occurred to me the other day that of the three people that had been in love prior to their conversions, two of them imprinted on someone who was closely related to the person they had previously been in love with. So my theory was, why not Leah too? Hence Sam's brother. What do you guys think?

A reviewer pointed out that the books don't say that Sam had a brother. But I figure they didn't say he didn't have one either. My idea is that Steve is absent for the whole of the Twilight series, away at school, so he's not talked about.

The Robert Frost quotations are from "Acquainted with the Night" "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening" and " The Road Not Taken". I just really love Robert Frost, and I figured that since Steve is so smart, he would know a bit of it too. Leah is Steve's 'road less travelled', I think.