Chapter 6

I'd Thank You to Keep Your Opinions to Yourself

I forced myself to wait to open Steve's present until we were at Charlie's house and I was by myself. Mom insisted we gather around the tree after church and take pictures as we each opened one present. I wanted to scream with impatience.

I tried to smile and seem excited when I opened the new watch from Charlie.

"Thanks, Charlie, it's great," I said, slipping it onto my wrist.

"I thought you'd need it, since your old one broke," Charlie said, looking embarrassed.

I smiled. I didn't tell Charlie that my other watch had broken because I had phased with it still on. He wouldn't have wanted to hear that. He was on a strictly voluntary need-to-know basis with all things werewolf and vampire.

Finally – finally – I had managed to make my excuses and slip up to the spare room. It had once been Bella's, before she had gotten married, which was kinda strange. I tried not to think about it.

I closed the door, and locked it. Then I all but pounced on the small, wrapped box. I sat on the bed and tore the wrapping paper, letting it fall to the floor. Inside was a black, rectangular box, with a lid, like the kind you get in jewelry stores. Irrationally, my heart started to speed up. With shaking hands, I took off the lid, and then gasped. Inside was a oval locket, gleaming dully in the dim light.

I stared at it in disbelief. This was nice. All I had given him was a crummy picture, and he had got me a locket? I picked it up out of the box by the gold chain, and watched the locket dangle, twisting around and catching the light.

"Wow," I murmured.

It was beautiful. It was perfect. Usually I wasn't one for jewelry, but I loved this necklace instantly.

I put it around my neck and fastened the catch, then turned to admire myself in the mirror. The girl I saw there wasn't someone I recognized. She was radiant; she was smiling; she was happy. I hadn't been that way for so long, I had almost forgotten what it was like. I raised a hand and gently stroked the smooth gold of the locket wonderingly.

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I knew that I had to tell Steve about my… wolfish condition… soon. I hated keeping secrets from him, even a secret as vital as what I was. It was actually painful not to tell him that I was a werewolf, but part of me was scared. After all, I was about to show him that I was a mythical creature. I didn't know how he would take that. Would he want me, after I had shown him that my other form was a giant grey wolf? If he was like any normal person, he would run away screaming, and I would never see him again. Part of me didn't want to risk that. I didn't think I could handle being away from him, even for a few days. Being away from him forever would kill me. But I knew that I had to tell him.

I deliberated long and hard on how I was going to tell Steve I was a werewolf.

Just go up to him and transform, Quil suggested.

I snorted.

Yeah right. He'd just run away, I scoffed.

No he won't. He'll probably think it's really cool, Embry said. I could hear the grin in his voice.

Not everyone is you, Embry, I reminded him.

Leah's right, guys, Jake said, cutting through our chatter. This is serious, and it effects all of us. Besides, we're going to need the practice for when Claire is old enough to know what we are.

Quil winced. I knew he wasn't looking forward to the day he had to reveal to his imprint that he was a werewolf. And I knew how he felt.

We should all be there to help her, Seth said.

I shook my shaggy head.

No. I want to do this by myself.

But what if it goes south? Embry asked.

You think I'm going to hurt him? I snapped.

You never know what could happen, Embry argued back. There's no harm in being careful.

I considered this for a moment. I didn't really want my pack near when I told Steve, but Embry had a point. They should be close enough to hear me if I called for help. Which wasn't exactly a task. The farthest we'd been able to hear members of our pack was 200 miles, and I wasn't expecting any of them to be that far away.

Leah, would it be ok if we hang around in wolf form, so you can call us if you need us? Jake asked, picking up the tenor of my thoughts. We won't be near enough to hear if you talk in human form, but if you need help…

I hesitated for a moment. I didn't want to admit that there might be a possibility that something would go wrong and I would need their help.

No harm in being careful, Seth reminded me.

I sighed.

Fine. But don't listen in!

Not like we can help it if you're in wolf form, Quil reminded me.

I know that. Just remember that I'll be your turn soon, Quil Ateara.

Quil winced again, not only at the use of his full name, but at the reminder that we were going to have to go through this pageant again when he had to tell Claire.

Don't worry, Lea, Seth said encouragingly. There's nothing to worry about. Steve isn't going to care.

Sure, I said sarcastically. 'Hey Steve, I turn into a giant wolf when I'm mad, and I'm sworn to protect the tribe against bad bloodsuckers. Oh, and by the way, you're my destiny' Does that sound about right?

Jacob rolled his eyes.

He can handle it.

And if he can't? I couldn't help my insecurity from leaking into my thoughts If he just leaves? What am I supposed to do then?

He'll be freaked out at first, but then he'll get used to it. It's not like you're a monster or anything.

I winced at Embry's choice of words.

Yeah, Seth cut in, you're a pretty girl, and he obviously likes you.

And it's not like he doesn't have the werewolf gene himself, Embry said. So really, you two aren't that different.

Wait, how come he isn't turning huge and furry? Quil asked.

I have a theory about that, I said.

They all looked at me expectantly.

Well we know he has the gene, because it was passed down from Levi Uley, and Sam is a wolf too. But he wasn't here at the time the Bloodsuckers showed up, was he? So the gene wasn't activated and he never changed.

But there are vampires here now, Seth said, confused. Why isn't he changing now?

They're not harmful, are they? I reminded him. We're supposed to shift to protect the tribe, and since the tribe doesn't need protecting, we don't need any more werewolves running around.

Besides, Jacob added. I figure there's an age limit.

Age limit? I asked. I had only considered one possibility

Yeah. It only happens to guys – er – people who are younger. I mean, my dad has the gene, and so did Seth and Leah's dad, and Old Quil, but they didn't turn when the bloodsuckers showed up. It was only younger, stronger people that it happened to, the better to protect the tribe I guess.

What about Sam? I asked. And me? We're older than the rest of you.

Maybe you just slipped under the wire. Sam was twenty one when this all started. And you were twenty, Jake said.

But Steve's only four years older than Sam, Embry jumped in, his furry forehead creased with thought.

Yeah, but Steve wasn't here. He comes back and he's already over the limit. This is the first time he's met the Cullens, I said, piecing the puzzle together.

Jake nodded.

So he does have the gene, it's just dormant because he's too old.

This does not bode well for your kids, Leah, Embry teased.

I made a face.

It goes through the father, not the mother, remember? I said, thinking of Embry.

Embry winced. He didn't like to be reminded of that fact that since his mom was Makah, not Quileute, his biological father was either a Uley, an Ateara, or a Black, all of whom were married a the time. We usually tried not to think about the implications of Embry transforming.

Not exactly thinking about kids yet, am I? I asked, trying to banish the thoughts of Embry's parentage out of my mind I'm still thinking that if he has any sense he's going to run away from this as fast as he can.

Have faith in yourself, Jake said. It won't be as bad as that.

He's not going to want me once he knows what I am, I said, feeling the hopelessness creep into my thoughts.

Then why are you telling him? Embry asked impatiently.

I blinked at him. I thought it would be obvious.

Quil and Jake know why, I said. I can't keep this from him. It hurts to keep secrets.

Jacob nodded with chagrin.

She's right. She can't not tell him what she is.

It's a part of you. If he loves you, he'll accept that along with everything else, Seth said, sounding sure.

I wasn't often grateful for my optimistic little brother. But today I needed his optimism.

He's going to think I'm a monster, a freak, I said.

He'll get used to it. We all do. Quil reminded me. Besides, his own brother's one too, so it's not like he can reject werewolves altogether.

I was scared, and I knew that they felt it too. Seth pushed his large nose against the fur of my neck in a comforting gesture.

When are you going to do it? Jake asked.

Tomorrow afternoon, I said. Are you guys ok for then?

My pack assented. Now all I had to was tell Steve. If you could call that all.

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I didn't get to see Steve again until three days after that conversation with my pack. I was in a state of nervous flutters when he finally did come over. I invited him over for lunch, and he was happy to come.

"I had to get away from Sam and Emily," he joked. "Too much domestic bliss is bad for anyone."

I smiled sympathetically. I knew how Sam and Emily could be. I thanked whatever deities were watching over me that I didn't have any feelings for Sam any more.

"Yeah, they're like that, aren't they?"

"I couldn't stand too much more of it," Steve agreed.

Seth was out for the day, so I had the whole house to myself.

"You need any help with cooking?" he asked.

I set him to work making a salad while I cooked the chicken.

"Make sure the vegetables don't boil over, please?" I asked, as I set the table.

Steve sat down at one of the kitchen chairs, stretching his long legs out in front of him. He glanced at me, and smiled.

"You're wearing the locket," he said.

I nodded, trying to hide my blush.

"It's really pretty. Thank you so much, but you really shouldn't have."

"I saw it in a store in Forks the other day, and thought about you," Steve admitted. "It's pretty but understated, like you."

"I feel bad," I admitted. "I only gave you a dumb picture."

"Hey! Don't knock my picture," Steve said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes.

"Be serious for a second. I mean, I didn't spend any money on your gift, and this is obviously an expensive present…"

Steve raised his hand to silence me.

"I bet sometime another girl is going to own a locket like that one. Some girl probably does. But no one will ever have a picture like you drew me. My gift was generic. Yours is totally unique. I'm the one who undervalued the gift giving."

I smiled at him. Did he know how totally amazing on every level he was?

"We'll just call it even, then," I said, touching the locket that hung around my neck.

"Deal," Steve agreed, grinning.

A timer dinged, and I went to check on the chicken, making sure they were totally cooked. Just because I was a wolf didn't mean I had to eat things raw. In fact, I found it slightly repulsive.

When I came back into the kitchen, Steve had already set the table. I served, and we both sat down.

I was hungry, and the food was good.

Steve chewed contemplatively.

"Penny for your thoughts?" I offered.

"Never thought I would enjoy being back in La Push," he admitted. "Usually I can't wait to leave. It's not so bad since my dad died, though."

I nodded. Joshua Uley had been a notorious drunk, and a pretty terrible father. He had died when I was a junior in high school. Sam and I had just started dating, and I was surprised that he hadn't been sad when his father had passed. Only resigned. He had been eighteen at the time, so hadn't had to go into foster care or anything.

"He was…" I struggled for the right word to describe Old Mr. Uley. Mean? Vindictive? A violent drunk who didn't know what he had in his two boys?

"He was a drunk," Steve said matter-of-factly. "And when he was drunk he was violent. And he was drunk most of the time. He drove my mother to an early grave, and was abusive towards Sam and me. I protected Sam as much as I could. It nearly killed me to leave him with Dad when I went to school."

I blinked at his frank speech.

"I guess you were glad to leave La Push."

Steve snorted.

"That's an understatement. When I got that scholarship I jumped at the chance to leave this place. My only regret was leaving Sam. But he could hold his own by then."

"Sam got a scholarship too, after high school," I said.

Steve nodded.

"I know. I never understood why he turned it down to stay here. He should have gotten out too"

I knew why. It was to stay and protect the tribe after his transformation into a werewolf.

"Guess he wanted to stay close to his roots. It's not like we're a very big tribe or anything."

"Yeah, but we've got a big history, right? Or at least it is if you hear Billy Black or Old Quil tell it."

"I like those legends," I said, thinking of the ones about the spirit walkers and shape shifters. "They're our heritage, and it's not like anybody else's. It makes us unique."

Steve sighed.

"Yeah. A minority in our own country, right? Did you know I had trouble getting a job in the private school sector because I'm an Indian?"

I looked up sharply.

"Really? I thought all that prejudge was gone."

"Apparently not. And I've had to really struggle to get where I am. Sometimes I hate what I am."

I thought about being a wolf. I thought about telling him that although I loved being what I was, it was hard to be different. But somehow I felt like now wasn't the right time. Not yet.

I reached out and took his hand.

"You're an amazing person, Steve. And the fact that you're a Quileute is just extra."

He grinned at me, and my heart skipped a beat.

"Not like I missed much while I was gone, though," he said. "La Push is always the same. Never changes, does it?"

"You might be surprised," I muttered.

His brows pulled together.

"Oh?"

I smiled slightly.

"You finished?"

Steve looked down at his empty plate.

"Yeah. It was great."

I couldn't delay it any further. If I did, I knew that I would never tell him. My heart started to beat faster, and my pulse to race. I was suddenly really nervous. I tried not to let it show.

"Hey Steve, do you want to take a take a walk?" I asked.

Author's Note: In this chapter, I've tried to incorporate a conversation I had with one of my reviewers. They were wondering how Steve could have turned out so normal when his father Joshua Uley was a drunken and abusive father. The answer is that Steve is smart, and he worked really hard and got a prestigious scholarship so that he could go to a good school. He worked hard so that he wouldn't have to be like his father.

I like writing the pack. They're fun. Obviously Jake is the leader, but still sort of one of them, full of advice and good ideas; Embry is the silly one, always teasing Leah; Quil is more serious and thinks about things a lot; and of course Seth is the eternal optimist, always looking on the bright side of things. It's nice to have a good number of characters without them getting overwhelming like they would if there were the same number of wolves as in Sam's pack.

Next chapter: Leah's going to tell Steve what she is, and hopefully he won't take it badly.