Tonight there was to be a dance inside the VFD academy. People were running about, putting up streamers and setting up snack tables and sometimes asking people out.
Others were currently outside, asking beautiful people, dressing up in their Sunday Clothes, and looking quite fancy.
But Lemony Snicket was not an other. Oh no, he was stuck inside the gym, setting up balloons in the rafters with the Denouements.
On one hand, the Denouements were all good people, even Ernest would show bursts of good deeds at times.
On the other hand, Beatrice probably had a few suitors already waiting for her. What if she already chose? Did she just forget about poor, dorky little Lemony and left him to rot? What if---
"Lemony, would you kindly hand me the red balloons? We're trying to make this a complete color spectrum." Frank said. Lemony dazingly tossed him a bag of red balloons, and turned himself back to the guardrails on the rafters, watching Kit and Olaf practicing dance moves.
If a man like Olaf could get a woman like his sister, he could easily land Beatrice.
Right?
"Lemony. LEMONY!" Ernest voice suddenly rang in his subconscious. "We've been asking you for the green balloons for ten minutes. DO. YOU. HAVE. THEM."
Lemony looked over to the balloon pile and paused. "… What green balloons?"
The sound of Ernest smacking his hand to his head was loud and clear.
Dewey threw a recently tied up balloon into the giant pile. As soon as the king and queen of the dance were decided, a lever would be pulled, the balloons would be released, and they would drift lazily to the floor. And in order to make it work, from what he gathered from Frank's firm but still annoying optimistic rant, it would only work if they had all colors of the average rainbow in there. In the background, Ernest was mouthing "Gaaaaaaaay."
"Well, I think I left them on the snack table down there." Lemony said as soon as Frank paused for breath. He then went on a rant about how he should be more careful where he sets things and should remember to check if he has everything before he does something important and that---
"Look, I'll go down there and grab the balloons for Lemony." Frank said, walking towards the guard rails.
"But Lemony needs to learn his lesson---" Frank started.
"It was just an accident." Dewey said, reaching for a rope just hanging beyond the guardrail.
"But---"
"Accident. Got it, Frank?" Dewey said, tightly wrapping the rope around both hands. "Look, I'll even get it fast for you."
Dewey stepped up on the guardrail, trying his best to balance.
"I've always wanted to do this."
And with that, he jumped, and he swung. Unfortunately, he did not realize that the rope was on a pulley, so as he swung, the rope lowered quite quickly, and his triumphant shout quickly turned in a scared shriek as he slammed into the wall, barely two feet off the ground.
He collapsed on the floor, got up, stumbled to the table, grabbed the balloons, then collapsed again, taking the table down with him.
"Dewey! Oh my god, Dewey, are you alright?" Kit's voice said.
Dewey lifted his head.
"That was awesome."
Then he fainted.
Beatrice stifled her laughs best she could.
"I don't think he ever got rid of the bruises from that antic." Lemony said, quietly thanking the board staff member as she handed him their tickets to the train. The staff member winked at him, showing either trust or attraction, though he preferred to think the former. Beatrice clutched tightly to his arm as they walked out to the platform.
"Please uncle Lemony, you've got to have one more!" Beatrice said, staring up at here uncle.
"Well…"
"Pleeeaaase?" Beatrice said, doing her best puppy dog eyes for her uncle.
"Alright, alright. One more, and that's it." Lemony said as the conductor called for everyone to board. They both began walking through the crowded masses to the train. "You think what happened at the set-up was interesting? You should've seen the actual dance."
THE SHOCKING CONCLUSION TO IN RETROSPECT, COMING SOON FROM A BAD FANFIC WRITER NEAR YOU.