Notes: BEST EPISODE. These two are going to kill me, I swear.

Personal Day

He let Sharon drive.

She offered, and Rusty told her no the first time. It was enough that she was going with him. It was more than enough. She didn't have to drive him there too. She didn't have to do any of this.

"Oh, it's not a problem." Sharon gave him one of those understanding little half-smiles. Her hand came up to touch his elbow, a calming touch, and only with her standing steady beside him did he realize that he was shifting from foot to foot and bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. "You're jittery."

She already held her keys in her other hand.

"That would be... nice," Rusty admitted, balling his hands into fists when they started to twitch too. "Okay."

Sharon patted his arm before she released him, and tilted her head towards the car.

They drove the first couple of blocks in silence. Rusty tugged at his seatbelt, sliding his fingers along and around it while his legs bounced restlessly. He stared at the now-familiar landmarks of their neighborhood, the pizza place down the block that they usually ordered from and the restaurant they'd gone to when Sharon had gotten a sudden craving for sushi. The library he wasn't sure he'd ever gone to. The gas station.

"I guess I'm a little nervous," he said at last, when Sharon accelerated onto the freeway.

She hummed, quiet and low in her throat, and waited for him to go on.

"And—I shouldn't be, right?" he said. "I've already been there, and you've already met her. It's just..."

Rusty wasn't sure when he'd started doing this. Talking about his feelings. Long ago enough that he felt practiced at it, recently enough that it was still strange and new and a little scary.

It was probably Dr. Joe's fault. Dr. Joe's influence. Whatever.

But it did help.

Sharon was good at listening, when he let her. She would just sit there, curled up in her corner of the couch with one of her ridiculous mugs of tea, sipping it slowly and nodding while he tried to explain what was going on inside of his head. Sometimes he wasn't sure himself, but she and Dr. Joe both seemed to think that was all right. When he was done, she would offer advice that he was less resistant to taking than before because, as it turned out, she was right most of the time, but sometimes he just wanted to say things and have someone hear them, and she would do that for him, too.

Most of the time, he really didn't understand what Sharon got out of their relationship. Rusty knew that it must be something because she didn't lie to him, ever, and then there were moments when she smiled at him like she'd done at breakfast the other day when it was like she looked at him and thought he was the greatest joy in her life instead of the reason it had all been turned upside down.

Somehow, she thought he was worth all of the threats and all those months of having a security detail camped out on her doorstep, not to mention all of the money she'd spent on his school and his clothes and his food.

Rusty didn't understand how any of that had happened, but he'd tried to stop questioning it. And he didn't care what Sharon said, someday he was going to pay her back, if he could ever figure out how.

"Hey, Sharon?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks again for doing, uh... all of this," he said quietly, watching the smooth movement of her hands on the wheel as she changed lanes. "It... means a lot to me that you're here. And, um..."

The next part was a little harder.

"I—I just wanted to say that you shouldn't be mad at Lieutenant Provenza," he said. "If you are."

Just for a second, her eyes flickered to him.

"She's my mother," he said. "I was the one who didn't tell you. Well... I—I guess he didn't tell you either, but that was because I was supposed to tell you, and I was going to, I—I just... it was harder than I thought it'd be."

He was rambling.

"Some conversations are never easy," she said. Her voice changed, sometimes, when there was something that she really did understand. "Rusty... There will always be issues that you feel uncomfortable bringing to me, for one reason or another. And I'm very glad that when that happens, there are people you feel safe talking to. I am."

He smiled a little.

"But," she went on, "it was a bit of a surprise, and I wish you had shared this information with someone before you went to visit your mother. I don't like no one knowing where you are."

She didn't need to explain why.

Rusty lowered his head. "I know," he said, scraping his thumbnail against the seatbelt again. "I just—I wasn't sure that I'd want to see her again, and I didn't want to upset you for no reason."

"I know," she said gently. "So no, I'm not exactly mad at Lieutenant Provenza. Or at you, either. Okay?"

Rusty just nodded.

Without taking her eyes from the road, Sharon reached over and found his hand. Her fingers slid through his and he squeezed back just as hard, drawing reassurance from the sort of touch that would've made him uncomfortable, once.

He held on until she gently tugged her hand free and returned it to the wheel.

"Sharon?" he asked a little uncertainly, because he wasn't sure that it was really his place to do so. "Have you done this before?"

That earned him another quick sideways glance, and he saw her hands tighten around the steering wheel.

"The circumstances were different, but yes."

He'd sort of gotten the feeling, the other day.

"What circumstances?" He pressed for just a little more.

Sharon shook her head. "Some other time."

But that wasn't a no or even the "that's none of your business" that he'd been expecting.

"Jack's situation is different than your mother's," she said at last. "I'm not sure that it would be helpful to you to hear it right now."

She sounded sad.

"But the experience taught me several things," she added, "and as much as I can, I'll try to use them to help you end up in a better place with your mother than I did with Jack. I do hope that she succeeds in this, Rusty. I do."

"Me too." He wasn't sure that he believed it was possible, really, but he still hoped. "But... you know that I meant what I said, right? I love her, but I really don't want to live with her. I'm happy where I am."

"I know." He saw her smile. "This is a new experience for me too. I've never had to share my children with anyone before."

I have two kids... and if I have part of a third, I love him too.

Rusty swallowed, and felt a pang of envy for the two people who were lucky enough to be her actual children. He'd never met them, not really, unless awkward greetings exchanged when he answered the phone while Sharon was in the bathroom counted, and he didn't think that they did. But he hoped that they loved her as much as she loved them. He hoped that they knew how lucky they were.

Somehow, he'd gotten lucky too, because what he'd thought was the worst day of his life had become the best thing that had ever happened to him, and whatever happened with his mother now, part of him was thankful that she hadn't shown up on that bus, because Rusty was pretty sure that he would never have let Sharon love him if she had.

Whatever happened, he was really glad he'd done that.

Really glad.