CHAPTA 4- only in the alley

they turn down the dark corner of the shadow-filled alley, it is 11:59 pm. suddenly, HOLDEN JUMPS OUT FROM BEHIND A CORNER-

"Holden relax you're a minute early," Kerry sighs.

"what i cant hear you im too colorblind" holden responds.

Troll anime question marks flew out of the top of Rufioh's empty noggin as holden pushed kerry down an obnoxiously long and quite conveniently placed flight of alley
stairs.

"OH SHI-" Kerry screamed, falling face first.

"GASP!" Rufioh screeched in a way similar to a fox's mating call.

Kerry tumbled down the endless stairs as latula and Mituna grinded by on the railing.

"1 w4rn3d you 4bout th3 st41rs bro" Latula called out to kerry.

"1 70LD Y0U D0FR38R0CVGG" Mituna screamed as he tumbled down the stairs with kerry.

Rufioh watched as kerry and mituna neared the end of the stairs. He was thinking, which was surprising because he doesn't ever think, about how beautiful he thought kerry's glistening snow white skin looked as it was smashing into the harsh corners of the concrete stairs. As kerry was tumbling down, she could've sworn she caught a glimpse of nicole- i mean ~my mother susanna~, making out with sollux in a fly-infested dumpster while Mr. O'Toole was watching them, stroking his chin flaps. Rufioh continued to watch kerry, bloody and bruised, lying face first at the bottom of the stairs before realizing that he should go help her.

"1ll get u for th1s holden" rufioh yells after five minutes of trying to think of a cool thing to say to holden.

"you and what army? i can have da whoooole midnight kroo and obama with me at the snap of my stubby little fingies" holden retorted.

"me" rufioh replied in an unusually deep voice, trying to sound like the main character of an action movie full of explosions and shit.

"Okay, you asked for it." Holden attempted to snap his fingers, but couldn't because he put too much lotion on them before. His hands get really dry because he
believes he is amphibious, although he isn't at all. he showers for at least 5 hours a day, making himself lack the natural oils produced by his skin. he is always dry and wrinkly, even though he is only 14 years old.

"FRICK STICKS!" Holden screamed in frustration. Holden tried desperately to snap his fingers again and again while rufioh watched him with a vacant look on his face, completely ignoring Kerry's cries in pain. On his 44th try, Holden finally snapped. Literally. He broke his finger while snapping. Just how HIGH do you even have to BE to DO that.

"OW. MY WITTLE FINGER" Holden started crying like spongebob when he tried opening a ketchup bottle, and said:

"guys just come out and john wilkes booth can u please tend to my fingie".

"right away master," booth whispered, feeling the dokis for kerry. "and who's that rOUnd cURvY cUtie?" he breathed, gesturing towards kerry. Holden just ignored him and kept sobbing.

Rufioh rolls down the flight of stairs and crawls kerry to the top on his back, which made everything harder for both of them since he couldve just flew. As he drags kerry through the broken glass pieces of Holden's lotion bottle to the closest Weenie Hut General, Horuss and Lauren emerge from the shadows on their bright red tricycles. Rufioh drops Kerry on her head into a pile of horse manure, which is used as lube in Lovely Hooves.

"w-w-w-w-what are you guys do1ng here?" rufioh asked.

"We work for holden~~~" Horuss shuddered, pinching his dark blue nipples.

"HOO HE HA HU HEE HAE WE HAD U FOOL KERRI BABI SENPIE" Lauren screeched, rubbing horuss' other nipple.

"..." kerry didn't say because she was unconscious and covered in horse shit.

rufioh stepped up to fight horuss and lauren like a big boy, but forgot to pay attention to kerry who was being dragged behind a dumpster by john wilkes booth.