Chapter 4 – It's Undeniable

Rachel tiredly rubbed her eyes, which were watering from the sudden bright light, and then looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was all over the place from tossing and turning for hours and her eyes were slightly bloodshot. She had gone to bed much later than usual since she had insisted on helping to clean up after the party, and when she finally did lie down, sleep had not come easily. Her restlessness was partly brought on by her still getting used to being in a new place, but she knew it probably had more to do with the fact that she couldn't stop thinking about Quinn kissing her under the mistletoe.

After quickly running her brush through her messy hair, she opened the bathroom door and walked toward the kitchen to make some much needed coffee. Before she even reached the other room, though, she could smell that someone was already brewing a pot, and when she walked into the room, she found Quinn sitting on one of the stools.

Rachel stood there for a moment, hating to interrupt Quinn, who had a book open in front of her, but after a few seconds the blonde looked over her shoulder and said, "Hey."

"You're up early," Rachel commented, walking the rest of the way into the room.

Quinn shrugged and looked down at her book again. "Couldn't sleep."

"I know the feeling," Rachel replied. "I don't always sleep that well when I'm at a new place, so I had a rather restless night." Rachel paused for a moment. "Is the room I'm sleeping in your room?"

"I don't know if I would call it my room, but it was the room I stayed in," Quinn replied.

"I am so sorry," Rachel said. "It never occurred to me that I stole your room." She shook her head. "You must think I'm a terrible person."

"I don't think you're a terrible person," Quinn replied.

"Nevertheless, why don't you take your room back and I can sleep on the couch?" Rachel offered.

"The couch is fine," Quinn replied. "And it's not really my room. I'm really only here during the summer and a week around Christmas."

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"I'm sure," Quinn replied.

"Well, if you change your mind, just let me know," Rachel said, walking over to the cabinet to grab a mug. "I will gladly give up the room."

She set it down next to the coffee maker and picked up the coffee pot, pouring the coffee into the mug.

"I just realized I've never asked where you go to school ," Rachel said, putting some sugar into her coffee.

"I go to Yale," Quinn answered.

"Yale?" Rachel asked, looking over her shoulder.

"Yeah," Quinn replied.

"I—wow," Rachel said, slightly shaking her head. "Yale."

"Don't sound so surprised," Quinn replied. "Did you think I was dumb because of the blonde hair?"

"Of course not!" Rachel hurriedly said. "I just—well, I've never known anyone who went to Yale, and you hadn't said anything about going to such a prestigious school, and I just—"

"Rachel," Quinn replied, interrupting her. "I was kidding,"

Rachel huffed. "That's mean."

Quinn laughed lightly. "Sorry."

"It would be more believable without the laughter," Rachel said, setting her mug on the island, and leaning her elbows on the surface.

"Yeah, probably," Quinn agreed.

"So, you go to Yale," Rachel remarked. "Is that in Massachusetts?"

"Connecticut," Quinn replied. "It's in New Haven."

"Oh, that's right," Rachel said. "Harvard is in Massachusetts. I really should have remembered that; I once had a roommate whose favorite movie was Legally Blonde and she would watch it at least once a month." Rachel shook her head. "Anyway, what are you majoring in? If you don't mind me asking."

"Literature," Quinn answered.

"I should have guessed," Rachel said with a smile toward Quinn's book. "So, are you already reading something for next semester or are you reading for pleasure."

Quinn held up the book, showing Rachel the cover. "I read Little Women for the first time around Christmas when I was ten. Since then, I've read it around this time almost every year. I'm not even really sure why; I guess it's just habit."

"Maybe you should look at it more as a tradition than a habit," Rachel replied.

"Maybe," Quinn said, putting her bookmark in, and sliding the book to the side.

Rachel watched Quinn for a moment and then picked up her coffee, taking a careful sip. She wasn't sure if it was her imagination or if Quinn was being less talkative than usual. She'd noticed rather quickly upon meeting her that the blonde was fairly quiet person, but Quinn seemed to be saying less than usual, and Rachel couldn't help but wonder if it had to do with the previous night. Then again, she knew Quinn could simply be tired from not sleeping very well, and all her concern could be over nothing.

"Do you want to hear something silly?" Rachel asked, trying to break the silence. "I think the tradition I'm going to miss most while being here is not being able to watch Grease with my fathers."

"You watch Grease for Christmas?" Quinn asked, raising her eyebrow in amusement.

Rachel laughed and nodded. "Every Christmas Eve. I'm not sure how old I was when we started doing it, but Daddy wanted to watch it one year, so we did. It was suggested again the next year and the year after that, and now we watch it every single year. I know it's not very Christmassy, but it's something we do every year and I'm going to miss watching it."

"You could still watch it," Quinn said, shrugging her shoulder.

"I would, but I'm afraid I don't actually have a copy of the movie myself," Rachel replied. "I suppose I'll just have to wait until my fathers return from their cruise."

"Why are you two up?" Kurt asked as he walked into the kitchen with a yawn.

"I'm sorry; did we wake you?" Rachel asked.

"No, the crazy bird outside my window woke me," Kurt replied. "Why do they think it's a good idea to be so vocal before the sun is up?"

Rachel laughed lightly. "There's coffee if that makes you feel any better."

"Wonderful," Kurt replied, walking toward the coffee maker.

"I'm going to shower," Quinn said, picking up her book.

"Maybe the others will be up by the time you get out and I can make everyone breakfast," Rachel said.

"Don't count on it," Kurt remarked.

"Hey, Rachel," Finn said, coming into the kitchen, where she was eating an apple.

"Hello," Rachel replied.

"There's a lot of snow out there, so I thought it might be kind of fun to have a snowball fight," Finn said, looking excited. "I already asked Kurt and Quinn and thought you might want to join us. It'll make it even if you do. I know it's kind of lame, but it could be fun, right?"

"I—sure," Rachel replied. "Yes, it could be fun."

"Cool," Finn said with a smile. "We're all getting ready, so just meet us in the back yard."

"Okay," Rachel replied. "I'll be out there once I'm properly prepared."

Rachel quickly ate the rest of her apple before going to her room. It had been a long time since she last participated in a snowball fight and she wasn't really sure what the best thing to wear was. She knew she didn't want to freeze, though, so she grabbed several layers of clothing. She wasn't usually one to wear jeans—she much preferred dresses or skirts—but she had brought a pair just in case. And this seemed like as good a reason to wear them than any.

She put a pair of tights on under the jeans for extra warmth, and then put on a sweater, covered by her hooded sweatshirt. Thankfully, she'd also brought a pair of boots, so she slipped them on after putting on two pairs of socks, and then headed for the living room to grab her coat and gloves.

When she finally walked into the back yard, the other three were standing around. Finn turned around the moment she opened the door, smiling at her. She knew she must look silly with so many clothes on, but she'd rather look a little ridiculous than lose all feeling in her limbs.

"Okay, we should pick teams!" Finn said. "How about boys against girls?"

"That isn't fair," Kurt complained.

"I'm sure Quinn and I can hold our own against you and Finn," Rachel said, feeling a little offended.

"I meant it's not fair for me," Kurt replied. "Finn is terrible at hitting things with a ball."

Rachel frowned. "Didn't you say you were the quarterback of your high school football team?"

Next to Finn, Quinn snorted slightly and then tried to cover it with a cough. Kurt, however, did not hide his amusement as he said, "They weren't very good."

"Hey, we were okay," Finn said. "And I can throw a ball."

Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine, it can be boys against girls. But I propose we have five minutes before we start to prepare our defenses."

"Whatever," Quinn said, shrugging.

"And we're taking the side with the picnic table," Kurt said, grabbing Finn's arm, and pulling him toward the right side of the yard.

"He takes this very seriously, doesn't he?" Rachel asked.

"Kurt takes everything very seriously," Quinn replied. "He's even more competitive than I was."

"Was?" Rachel asked. "Are you no longer?"

Quinn shrugged. "Not really. I used to want to be the best at everything." Quinn paused for a moment and then quietly added, " I guess I thought if I was the best, my parents would be proud of me."

Rachel wanted to say something reassuring, but she didn't know what to say. She wanted to tell her that her parents were proud of her, but given everything she knew about them, she knew they probably weren't. Which Rachel thought was crazy. Not only was Quinn incredibly beautiful, but she was going to Yale, and on top of that, she was also nice and funny. Rachel couldn't imagine any parent not wanting a daughter like her, but yet Quinn was unlucky enough to have just that.

"I'm sure there are plenty of people who are proud of you," Rachel finally said.

"I think they're trying to build a fort," Quinn said, nodding toward the other side of the yard.

Rachel put her hands on her hips when she saw what the boys were doing. They were using the picnic table as shelter and Finn was piling the snow around it, essentially making a wall. Kurt, on the other hand, was concentrating on making snowballs from the surrounding snow.

"We can't let them win," Rachel stated, and then looked at Quinn. "I understand that you may no longer be a competitive person, but I am."

"I should've guessed," Quinn said with a slight smile.

"Why do you say that?" Rachel wondered.

"You're ambitious, and ambitious people are usually competitive," Quinn replied.

"I suppose that's true," Rachel commented. "After all, I'm going to spend most of my life competing with other actresses for roles. Though, hopefully, it won't be much of a competition."

"Are you two just going to talk?!" Kurt called out.

"We're strategizing!" Rachel lied.

Quinn shook her head but had a smile on her face. "Come on; we'll use the tree as cover."

"I don't know how much cover it's going to provide, but I suppose it's all we have," Rachel said as she followed Quinn over to the tree.

"Don't worry," Quinn replied. "Finn couldn't hit the side of the house if he tried, and Kurt's even worse."

"How did your school ever win a football game?" Rachel asked, shaking her head.

"We didn't most of the time," Quinn replied. "It was a little embarrassing cheering for a team that lost ninety percent of their games."

"So why did you stay on the cheerleading squad?" Rachel wondered.

"Because being on the Cheerios made you popular," Quinn answered. "It sounds crazy now, but all I wanted in high school was to win prom queen."

"And did you?" Rachel asked.

"Yes," Quinn replied.

"That's not surprising," Rachel commented. "I can't imagine anyone at your school being prettier than you, and that's who usually wins prom queen, right? The prettiest girl? The one all the guys wants to date and all the girls are envious of."

Quinn shrugged. "I guess."

"You must have broken a lot of guys' hearts when they realized they didn't stand a chance with you," Rachel remarked. "Did you ever date any of the girls at your school?"

"No," Quinn answered.

"Why didn't you?" Rachel asked.

"They weren't really my type," Quinn replied.

"Oh," Rachel said. "So—what is your type?"

Rachel gasped when a snowball hit her shoulder, breaking apart, and spraying her face with chunks of snow. Slowly, she turned to look at Kurt and Finn, who were both laughing. A few moments later, another snowball flew toward the two guys, smacking Finn in the side of the head.

"Hey!" Finn called out, rubbing his head.

"That's for not warning us!" Quinn called back.

"We must destroy them," Rachel stated as she brushed the snow off her hair.

"That shouldn't be too hard," Quinn said with a smirk, and Rachel had no doubt that they would be victorious.

"I'm running to the store, and I thought I'd see if you wanted me to pick you up anything," Carole said upon opening the door,

Rachel shook her head. "I have everything I need."

"Are you sure?" Carole asked.

"I'm positive, but thank you," Rachel replied, giving her a smile.

"Well, if you change your mind just have Kurt or Finn or Quinn call me," Carole said. "They all have my number."

"I'll be sure to," Rachel replied.

Carole closed the door and Rachel grabbed her phone from her pocket to see if her fathers had tried to contact her. They were supposed to call anytime, and even though the sound was on, she was afraid she was going to miss their call. She had no missed called, though, so she put it back in her pocket and stood from the bed.

The house was quiet as she walked out of the room and into the kitchen. She paused for a moment when she saw Quinn standing in front of the microwave, but then continued on her way to the fridge. As she opened it and grabbed a bottle of water, Quinn looked over her shoulder, and Rachel couldn't help but look over at her.

"Did Carole find you?" Quinn asked.

"Yes, she just spoke with me," Rachel replied.

Quinn nodded and then looked back at the microwave, but Rachel kept her eyes on the blonde. Unfortunately, guilt began to creep in, so Rachel quickly averted her eyes, staring down at her bottle of water.

She'd tried to ignore it, but it was undeniable that she had a crush on Quinn. Not only was she physically attracted to her, but the more she talked to Quinn and got to know her, the more she liked her and wanted to know her even more. She really couldn't remember the last time she felt like that about anyone. That she felt an instant connection with someone. And when Quinn kissed her under the mistletoe, she could no longer deny it to herself. It certainly wasn't the first time she'd kissed another female—she had dated a few girls in the past—but it was the first time she'd felt such a spark.

And she felt terrible about it.

"What?" Rachel asked, realizing Quinn had said something.

"I asked if you're okay," Quinn replied.

"Oh, yes," Rachel said, trying not to blush. "I was just thinking and I guess I zoned out."

Rachel smiled at Quinn and then briskly made her way to the living room, where she nearly collided with Finn at the end of the hallway. In her surprise, she dropped the bottle of water, but Finn quickly picked it up.

"Sorry," Finn said, holding the bottle out for her. "I didn't know you were there."

"It's my fault," Rachel replied, reaching out, and accidentally brushing her hand against his as she took the bottle. "Thank you."

Finn smiled slightly when their hands touched, and Rachel looked away, trying not to feel even worse about everything.

Even though she and Finn weren't boyfriend and girlfriend, she still felt guilty about developing feelings for Quinn. She knew Finn liked her, and while she didn't necessarily want to be in a relationship with him, she also didn't want to hurt him. She knew he was probably still holding out hope that she would change her mind despite him saying the contrary, and now she had a crush on one of his friends. Someone she wouldn't have even met if Finn hadn't been nice enough to invite her there for the holidays.

"What are you doin' right now?" Finn asked.

"I'm waiting on a call from my fathers," Rachel replied. "They promised to call by five, so it should be any moment."

"You wanna catch a movie or something after?" Finn asked. "The new Stars Wars movie just came out and I've been dying to see it."

"I don't know, Finn," Rachel replied.

"Okay," Finn said, shrugging. "It's just that we haven't really gotten to hang out much since we've been here and I thought it could be fun. I was gonna call Sam up and see if he wanted to come, too. He's a crazy huge Star Wars fan; he's already watched it twice, but he's wanting to go again."

"I suppose it could be fun," Rachel replied. "Although, I don't know how happy my fathers are going to be that I got to see it before them." She laughed lightly. "They are both huge fans of the franchise and were disappointed they wouldn't get a chance to watch it before going on their cruise."

"Awesome," Finn said with a smile. "I'll go call Sam and then see if Kurt wants to come."

"Should we—" Rachel paused for a moment.

"Should we what?" Finn asked.

"I was just wondering if we should also invite Quinn," Rachel said.

"Sure," Finn replied, shrugging. "Why don't you go ask her while I'm calling Sam?"

"Alright," Rachel said.

Rachel knew she may regret suggesting inviting Quinn, but it seemed rude not to. And as much as she thought that she needed to limit her time around the blonde, a bigger part of her didn't want to. She'd always relished that feeling of having a new crush on someone, and even if her head was telling her it was a bad idea to like Quinn, she couldn't help wanting to be around her.

"Quinn," Rachel said, walking into the kitchen. "Finn wanted me to ask if you would like to go to the movies in a little bit."

Quinn shrugged and asked, "Who else is going?"

"He said he was going to call Sam and then he was going to ask Kurt if he would like to join us," Rachel replied.

"Yeah, sure," Quinn said.

"I'll let Finn know," Rachel said with a smile, and a moment later, Lean On Me began playing from her phone. "Oh, that's my fathers."

Rachel pulled out her phone and excused herself before walking toward the guest room with a, "Hi, Dad! Hi, Daddy!"

Rachel set her laptop to the side and pulled the blanket further up around her shoulders. It was nice and cozy in front of the fire and it was beginning to make her a little sleepy, but she wasn't quite ready to go to bed. It had been such a good day that she really didn't want it to end just yet.

The movie had been wonderful and she found herself having a lot of fun with the other five people. At the Christmas party, she hadn't gotten the best impression from Sam, but he turned out to be a nice guy and was constantly trying to make everyone laugh. Kurt had also called Tina, who Rachel had enjoyed talking to the day before, so she was quite happy about seeing her again. Overall, it was a very enjoyable night, but it was kind of sad knowing that she would probably never see Sam or Tina again.

"Mind if I join you?"

Rachel looked up at Quinn, who was standing at the end of the couch, and smiled. "Not at all. I'm the one intruding on your bed, after all."

Rachel laid her head on the arm of her chair as she watched Quinn sit on the other end of the couch. After a few seconds, she averted her eyes, not wanting Quinn to think she was staring. Which was something she seemed to be doing a lot of that day. Most of the time, she didn't even realize she was doing it until Quinn would look her away. Quinn was just so beautiful and there was something about her that Rachel found intriguing.

"Did you have fun today?" Quinn asked.

Rachel smiled to herself. "Yes, I enjoyed it quite a lot."

"I know Sam can be a little annoying," Quinn remarked.

"I suppose his impressions could get old after a time, but it was nice," Rachel replied. "I really can't remember the last time I went to the movies with a large group. I-I don't really have a lot of friends at home, and I liked that all of you made me feel included. In a way, it felt as if I've known you guys for much longer than just a few days."

"Why don't you have many friends?" Quinn asked.

"I've been told I talk too much and that some people find me annoying," Rachel replied. "It's also hard to trust a lot of the other NYADA students. A lot of them will stab you in the back if they think it will improve their chances of their dreams coming true. It's a very competitive school and some students will resort to less than honorable tactics. I had some friends in high school, but we've sort of drifted apart over the years." She looked over at Quinn. "You're really lucky to have people you've been friends with for so long. It must be nice."

"I guess," Quinn said. "I've never really thought about it."

"Just know you're incredibly lucky," Rachel stated.

Rachel laid her head back down and stared at the fire in silence. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Quinn looking at her and after a few moments, she said, "They're wrong, you know?"

"Who is wrong?" Rachel asked, shifting her head slightly, so she could see the other girl.

"You don't talk too much," Quinn replied.

"I do, but it's just who I am" Rachel said, shaking her head.

"I like it when you talk," Quinn said.

Rachel couldn't help but smile. "You do?"

"Yeah," Quinn softly replied.

Rachel opened her mouth, but quickly closed it before she said something she would regret. She had been told many times by her fathers that her emotions were written all over her face, and she was afraid Quinn could see right through her. Since Quinn was gay, she knew she at least wouldn't be disgusted by her crush, but that didn't mean the crush was mutual, and she was afraid she would do or say something to embarrass herself if she wasn't careful.

"Rachel—"

"Yes?" Rachel asked when Quinn paused.

"Hey, guys," Finn said, coming into the room

"Hi," Rachel replied as he came over, sitting down on the couch.

"Hey," Quinn said. "Not to rush you, but I think I'm going to get ready for bed."

"Oh, of course!" Rachel said. "How rude of me."

"No, you're fine," Quinn replied, shaking her head. "I still have to shower."

"Okay, well—if I don't see you when you get out, goodnight," Rachel said, watching Quinn as she stood, and ran a hand through her hair.

Quinn locked eyes with her for a moment and then looked away and said, "I'll see you in the morning."

"Bright and early," Rachel replied with a smile.