Now after having my inbox spammed on why I killed Aoyanagi well now you can all know why or how or if it even happened lol.

Ginoza

Dime has a bad habit for jumping on me when I get home after a long day at work, no matter what I do to punish him he never stops but it's not like it bothers me much he just missed me that's all but it's not the same thing when people come over, they don't appreciate his energetic nature. When he'll stop doing that I'll know that he's getting old and I'm not looking forward to that.

There's a note on the side table apparently Ayato had another compulsive problem and allowed himself in to let Dime out at five when he noticed that I was late. How he can always manage to break into my home like this is the biggest mystery I will never be able to solve, even my security system didn't kick in but seems like it froze again… Typical, it's the third time this month I've had a technician come to fix it, I think at this point the guy that keeps coming really just doesn't have a clue what he's doing or he's just pretending to fix it but either way the landlord is going to have to do something about it because it is getting problematic.

I put away my jacket on the hook, take off my shoes and removed my MWPSB bracelet placing it on the table. Tonight I don't mind Ayato's odd habits, I'm exhausted and I really don't feel like going outside right now so I'll have to remember to thank Ayato when I see him.

I don't mind training new inspectors but I really do hope that Tsunemori stays within division one for a while; I really don't feel like having to train another, it's exhausting and stressful because I don't know what the new inspector will do during an investigation and I'm responsible for their safety.

Ever since I joined the MWPSB it seems like I've had partners after partners. Apparently even though I was a rookie with only one year of experience, not long after my mentor met a tragic death on the field, the chief felt that I was ready to train a new one. That said person later transferred and then I would get a new one and it never stopped. Only when Kougami transferred from division three that I caught a break but after he was demoted I trained another one but he didn't stick around too long and then Tsunemori came.

Dime follows me through the apartment as I go to my room, allowing myself to drop on the bed like a rock. He jumps on the bed as he lies next to me, his head resting on my shoulder as I pat his fur and I feel my eyes starting to get heavier. Dime jumped off and left the room as I dozed off when suddenly I feel something press against my face and I couldn't move as I opened my eyes only to see everything getting blurry and a large dark figure over me…

… My eyes jolt open and for a moment I forgot where I was as I catch my breath before I remembered that I came to see how Aoyanagi was doing but she wasn't conscious when I got here and dozed off with the same old same old results. I take some slow and deep breaths to slow down my heart that is racing in my chest, after a few minutes I started feeling it drop to its normal rhythm.

He sure didn't waste any time to do his first strike not that it actually surprises me, I just didn't think he would have taken this long to do it but he's such a coward. I would be willing to bet that he's been stalking Aoyanagi all day, just waiting for the opportune moment to attack her but he's getting careless. He failed to spot the street scanner which alerted the MWPSB and he attacked with so many people in the area too.

"You alright Gino?" Kou asks taking me out of my thoughts and I little by surprise too as he entered the room and sits next to me.

"Yeah… Just frustrated and angry." I tell him; actually I've been angry ever since I woke up earlier today, after my first talk with dad actually. The thing is that I'm not just angry at Seiho but I'm also angry at myself.

His hand on my shoulder makes me look at him from the corner of my eye before returning my gaze on Aoyanagi. "It wasn't your fault, we'll get him Gino."

"I can't control what he does, I know that." I reply but I couldn't have told a bigger lie to him but in a sense it's true. Aoyanagi was attacked because she had connections to me, she got hurt and it's my fault; he's attacking those close to me hoping that I'll come out on the field. That's what he wants, he knows where I am and that he can't reach me here.

"The doctor says that she'll be fine, although she'll have one hell of a headache when she wakes up but Risa will be alright." He tells me as he removes his hand from my shoulder.

"I know…" Was all I could say. I know she'll be alright, the doctor said that she doesn't have a concussion or any pressure to her brain but it still doesn't change the fact that Aoyanagi got injured. What kind of a man lays a hand on a woman in the first place? Even if she would by chance attack you first, hitting her is just unacceptable. In the end she's still just a woman, no man should have the right to touch her, those who do don't deserve to be called a man.

Dad told me earlier that witness' that saw what happened said that they saw a large man come from behind Aoyanagi, with only her in his sight like nothing else existed at that moment as he punched her in the back of the head causing her to fall head first into the concrete sidewalk which busted her head open needing twelve stitches to close the wound. If there had not been so many people around, things could have turned out a lot different. He would have killed her without a doubt.

"You should get some rest Gino."

I shake my head as I stretch my arms over my head, hearing my shoulders crack. "I can't sleep. The thing is that I can still hear him as if he's right next to me, I can still feel his breathing on my neck and his touch. The moment I try to close my eyes he's got me, I can't just sit around and do nothing or I'll go insane if I do."

The moment I stop thinking on something else the memories just keep coming back in a flash and I just can't stop them at that point. The doctor told me that it's just a passing thing and it will go away with time but before that it's just really troublesome. The nurses have suggested giving me a relaxative to help me sleep but I refused to have it, I've never been much of a fan of drugs.

Since I haven't been cleared yet I can't wander too far away and I have to stay within the medical center, preventing me from doing any work at all so instead of staying in my room I was given the permission to stay here until Aoyanagi wakes up. Dad was here with me before I dozed off, telling me about what happened on the scene which I appreciate. He must have left when I fell asleep for a moment, that's the only time I seem to be able to sleep a little. When I'm alone, no matter how much I try I just can't.

"You do what you have to do Gino. No one can tell you when you're ready to come back or not, that's up to you and whatever you decide I have your back." Kou states, he should tell that to the doctor. He doesn't agree that I'm fit to go back to work any time soon; apparently I'm too mentally damaged. Nice…

"You always have." A smile forms on my face for the first time since I woke up just thinking about how we used to be before. I miss those days, a lot of things has changed with the years but one thing will never change and that is I can always trust Kou with my back.

"I don't know. I feel like I dropped the ball on that one." If someone dropped the ball it would be me, I wasn't able to stop you from going over the edge and it cost you to lose everything in the end.

"You're here aren't you? That's what matters…" I quickly shoot back at him; he looked a little too depressed for my liking for that short moment. "How's Tsunemori?" I ask to change the subject much to his delight.

"She's fine, just a bit shaken about what happened to Risa but she's going to be alright." Yeah that's what I thought, she's young but I know she'll be fine in this job. I'm just relieved to know that she didn't fall victim to Seiho like Aoyanagi has.

"She needs you more than I do right now." A bit of it is true and yet false as I spoke those words. I can see that he wants to be with Tsunemori right now but he also feels an obligation to be here with me. Right now I can't deny that I hate the feeling of being alone but feeling I have ever since I got back here but I can't allow myself to cling to others, it won't do me any good and getting back to my old routine is the best thing I can think of that would help my condition. I know why my subconscious craves having Kou and dad around me, but I don't want to give into that.

"Are you sure?" He asks. He always sees through my lies no matter how much I try to hide them. I'm not the only person who needs him, if I kept him here that would only be selfish on my part to do so.

"Yeah." I nod as he gets up, a little reluctant at first but goes along.

The nurses have been pretty busy since I woke up, they keep pacing in the hall like an emergency just occurred but that's how they always are around here. You'd think that they have a bunch of patients in the medical center but all they do is treat injured MWPSB staff when there are some which is not every day.

Aoyanagi's voice catches my attention as she wakes up, clinging to her head as she sits up. It took her a few minutes before realizing that I was in the room with her. "To think I was planning on seeing you in this bed and I would be sitting in that chair."

"I'm still not cleared; you'll get your chance." I respond bringing my right knee closer to my chest as I rest my head on it and my arms wrapped around my lifted leg, foot on the seat.

"Won't be the same." She shook her head as she rubbed her temples as she spoke.

"Da-… Masaoka told me you came by earlier when I was first brought in, what's the difference?"

"I wanted to surprise you with something…" She says as she gets out of bed only to slightly lose her balance as she presses on her forehead with her right hand and holding on to the bed to stabilize herself with the other. "Son of a bitch I'll enjoy seeing him turn into pink slush."

"Perhaps you should take it easy." I state but she just brushes it off and instead laughs about it as she teases me.

"I should be telling you that… You look like you've been beaten an inch of your life." That's almost an accurate statement, I've been forced upon more times I can remember at this point, strangled, slapped in the face, punched and got my blood drained for a total of forty-eight hours, if not longer. There might be more but I just don't remember anything else and quite frankly I don't even want to remember.

"That bad huh?" I blurt out as she gives me a glare at my sarcasm as she puts on her shoes.

"Didn't you look at yourself in a mirror?" She asks as she walks over to me. Now why would I want to see my beaten up face, I know it has to be pretty swollen and bruised. I don't have to see hit, I can feel it enough as it is.

"Nope…" I answer back, not really bothering to put much emotion in my tone as I spoke.

I see annoyance in her face but her expression quickly softens as she crouches to meet my eyes, taking hold of my hands in hers. "You won't be able to get better if you avoid everything. I know your suffering deep down but if you hide because of fear, it will only suffocate you even more."

I take it that she heard about me refusing to see Tsunemori earlier today but it's not like I'm avoiding her or anything, I still have to work with her on the same division so avoiding her would be a bit of a problem. I just haven't figured out how to approach her or my division yet. "I'm not avoiding anything; I know what has to be done. I just need to get cleared so I can get back to work, I feel like that's the only way that I'll be able to move forward, once he's been taken down."

"Why won't you lean on me for strength when you're down? You always do everything on your own; you never rely on me for anything. All you ever rely on is Kougami but I'm here too you know, I've always been here just waiting. I'd do anything for you, do you even know that?" Her voice was calm as she spoke, never looking away as if trying to study my face for a secret answer.

"…" I don't know what to say or even how to answer her except just to stare at her as she rest her head against my left knee when I didn't say anything.

"I didn't believe in the thing called love at first sight, I thought it was stupid for someone to fall for someone without even knowing them first but then that changed when I met you. You stole my heart and it only grew with every passing moment. No matter what I did you never seemed to notice my feelings and I never could read what yours were. Instead I feel like you try to push me away on purpose. Please Gino let me in, I can't be more direct than this." Her voice was starting to shake before she finished. I wasn't oblivious to her feelings; I always knew that she wanted something more than friendship. It's not like I was stupid and didn't get her constant flirting and coming over my place so often in the week. You don't do that with someone that you are not interested in but I can't understand if I also feel the same way. I don't want to start something that won't last and in Aoyanagi's case I don't want to end up hurting her if things just don't work out.

"… I know… I just don't know what I feel and it's not because of what happened either. I've been this way ever since I can remember and the thing is that I've never had any form of attractions for anyone. Expressing my feelings has never been easy for me and how do you explain something to someone that you don't even understand yourself?" I finally said it somehow it's like a weight on my shoulder lifted.

I've never told anyone about that other than Kougami; it just felt less weird to talk to him about it than someone else especially a girl. It's something that has always been an embarrassing subject to talk about. While I see others in love and happy, I just don't feel anything and if you mention that to anyone the only thing they always say is that I haven't found the right person yet which isn't much help in my situation.

"Do you want me to go and give you your space?" Her question caught me slightly off guard as I looked at her. That's not what I meant at all, it's just I don't understand how I feel but I don't want her to leave.

"No." I quickly answer.

She looked up at me with that same gentle smile I've come to know too well by now; I can't help but return a smile. "Then I won't leave your side. What matters is that you want me to stay so I'll stay…"

"I need you to check something out for me…"

"First you need to sleep." She tells me as she pulls my arm for me to get up. I guess I can try to sleep, not sure how that will work out…

Review tell me what you guys think. Allow your imaginations to run wild lol :3

Anyway I got a few messages from readers asking me to put up a warning about rape and animal abuse and so on. Actually there is one right in the summary of this fanfic and that very summary was inserted on chapter 1 for those who discover this fanfic on Tumblr. If anyone gets offended well the warnings are there, you just have to read it.